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 PRAISE FOR 100 PROVEN WAYS TO
ACQUIRE AND KEEP CLIENTS FOR
LIFE

“Richard says, ‘Relationships drive revenue. Build them and you will soar.’ If one has any doubts
about the truth of this statement, I’d ask them to read this magnificent book. Buckle your seatbelt,
dear reader. You are about to take a very abundant ride.”

—Bob Burg, coauthor of the international bestseller, The Go-Giver, and

author of the sales classic, Endless Referrals

“Richard nails it in his new book! Not only does Richard provide valuable insights, like only he can
do; he also provides important implementation strategies. If you are interested in Rock Solid
Relationships, this book is a must read!!”

—Harry P. Hoopis, chief executive officer at Hoopis Performance Network

and recipient of the 2022 John Newton Russell Memorial Award
“I expected a great book, but this prolific book has really outperformed Richard’s previous works.
This book should be used as your Bible for customer relationship strategies and tactics. With 100
Proven Ways to Acquire and Keep Clients for Life, your luck will be augmented dramatically with
great skill.”

—Milton Pedraza, CEO of Luxury Institute, LLC

“I have known Richard for almost thirty years! He trained me when I was a brand-new agent. The
proven, actionable tactics he shares in this book can set your entire career on a new trajectory and
will bring you permanent business success.”

—Tom Hegna, retirement expert, economist, bestselling author, and

international speaker

“Richard Weylman’s book is a powerhouse of actionable strategies tailored for client acquisition and
retention. It’s an excellent blueprint to follow for cultivating enduring client relationships. Real-life
examples bring these strategies to life, making them accessible and adaptable across industries. A
must-read for professionals striving to excel in client-centric businesses.”
—Adrienne Lally and Attilio Leonardi, co-owners of Team Lally, Keller
Williams Honolulu

“Richard Weylman has always been ahead of common thinking. He has always focused on what is
effective and to do that which others can’t do, won’t do, or haven’t thought of yet. He understands
the human emotional components that are the true differentiators. I have been in financial services for
fifty years and, if I were you, I would get this book and read it!”

—Joe Jordan, author of Living a Life of Significance and recipient of the

2023 John Newton Russell Memorial Award
“Every reader, including me, will see themselves and the professionals they work with in this book
and know how to be better immediately.”

—Jim Ruta, president of Advisorcraft Media

“This book brilliantly captures the essence of choosing the pain of discipline over the pain of regret,
reminding us that every challenge we face only makes us more unstoppable in the future. By this
book’s teachings, we can develop a portfolio of clients that will last a lifetime!”

—Louis David Spagnuolo, chairman of the board, PrivateJet.com

“What makes Richard and this book really special is his ability to teach others how to use their ‘own
voice,’ to help us authentically connect with the lifeblood of our businesses…our clients.”

—Colin C Lake, CIMA® founder/president of Developing the Next Leaders

“A must-read book! Richard Weylman shares with you the secrets of how to engage and insight on
how to keep a client for life. He has inspired me with simple yet powerful, proven techniques to use
every day to be successful in my business.”

—Shirley Luu, founder and CEO of Shirley Luu & Associate (with more
than 27,500 clients served!)

“I just finished reading and re-reading my advance copy of ‘100 Proven Ways To Acquire & Keep
Clients For Life’ by Richard Weylman. His depth of experience continues to surpass what he has
written previously. This is not just a 30,000-foot overview, but Weylman delivers the specific tactics
for successful customer relationship sales and marketing. This is a Must Read! “

—Jim Ziegler, CSP, HSG, OG President @ ZIEGLER SUPERSYSTEMS,

Inc. #AlphaDawg
Also by C. Richard Weylman

Opening Closed Doors: Keys to Reaching Hard-to-Reach People

The Power of Why: Breaking Out in a Competitive Marketplace

Endless Prospects: 301 Tactics to Reach Hard-to-Reach People

Copyright © 2024 by Richard Weylman.
Published by Mango Publishing, a division of Mango Publishing Group, Inc.

Cover Design: Elina Diaz

Layout & Design: Elina Diaz

Mango is an active supporter of authors’ rights to free speech and artistic expression in their books.
The purpose of copyright is to encourage authors to produce exceptional works that enrich our
culture and our open society.

Uploading or distributing photos, scans or any content from this book without prior permission is
theft of the author’s intellectual property. Please honor the author’s work as you would your own.
Thank you in advance for respecting our author’s rights.

For permission requests, please contact the publisher at:

Mango Publishing Group
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Coral Gables, FL 33134 USA
[email protected]

For special orders, quantity sales, course adoptions and corporate sales, please email the publisher at
[email protected]. For trade and wholesale sales, please contact Ingram Publisher Services at
[email protected] or +1.800.509.4887.

100 Proven Ways to Acquire and Keep Clients for Life: The Path to Permanent Business Success

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication number: 2023949532

ISBN: (p) 978-1-68481-524-1, (e) 978-1-68481-525-8
BISAC category code: BUS018000, BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Customer Relations
Dedicated to those who want to achieve permanent
business success and leave a lasting legacy.
 TABLE OF CONTENTS

Foreword

Introduction
Why Invest Your Time?

Chapter 1
What Clients and Prospects Want and Why You Get Fired Without It

Chapter 2
How to Personalize Communications and Show Clients and Prospects You Care

Chapter 3
How to Make Clients and Prospects Feel Secure Emotionally

Chapter 4
How to Make Clients and Prospects Feel Secure Economically

Chapter 5
How to Know Your Clients and Prospects Better and Build a Rock-Solid Relationship

Chapter 6
How to Keep Clients and Prospects Engaged by Creating New and Memorable Experiences

Chapter 7
How to Be Sure Clients and Prospects Always Know You Value Them and Their
Relationship With You

Chapter 8
How to Implement These Tactics to Acquire Clients & Keep Them for Life

Afterword
Acknowledgments

About the Author

 FOREWORD

Imagine one Christmas, as a twelve-year-old orphan being shuttled through

the foster care system, your current foster family drops you off with a
neighbor because only “real family members” are invited on the Christmas
holiday trip. Then, instead of getting to celebrate with this “drop off
family,” you are sent to the basement (by yourself!) to sleep and spend the
ten days while the family enjoys the festivities upstairs.

The fright and loneliness this little boy must have experienced is difficult to
even fathom. Personally, I cannot imagine a more horrible “relationship”
experience than this.

And yet, the author of this book, Richard Weylman—an icon in the world of
customer and client experiences, considered by many to be the leading
authority on a subject where relationships are paramount to success—began
his life living through some of the worst relationship ordeals imaginable.

Not only did the author overcome this unfortunate aspect of his life…he
used it as a springboard to launch a revolution in how the best companies
and most successful individual professionals, regardless of their role, view
the “total client experience.”

One could even say that he’s taken this very paradigm to an entirely new
level.
Richard Weylman teaches that, “Thoughtfulness, empathy, caring, and
kindness are valuable relationship-building traits that no amount of
competitor marketing dollars can defeat.”

Richard has championed this type of relationship as a General Sales

Manager and executive in the luxury automotive industry, and as the former
head of sales and marketing for The Robb Report, a luxury lifestyle
magazine.

And now, for more than thirty years, he has equipped major corporations
and individual sales and service professionals to create client experiences
that have brought substantial increases in acquisition and retention.

These increases significantly boost sales and wallet share, improve cross-
selling efforts, lower the cost of acquisition of new business, and increase
the lifetime value of the client relationship, with an immediate and
sustainable impact on the bottom line.

Richard has worked with companies and their teams in many industries,
including financial, fast casual dining, professional sports teams, home
services, direct sales, franchising, and hospitality, just to name a few. He
has shown them all that great experiences are not just for the luxury
consumer but can impact every prospect and client regardless of the product
or service being sold.

It can be said that people will go out of their way to be in relationship with,
do business with, and tell the world about the sales and service
professionals and companies who will provide those experiences.

So, how has Richard made such a difference with his clients?

By helping them develop a culture that conveys a warm, wonderful, and

fantastic experience at every…single…touchpoint.

The exact right words can often make the difference between a good
relationship and a powerful, bonded relationship that results in new client
acquisition and word of mouth (what we at our company call “personal
walking ambassadors”) that will take your business to great heights.

As you read, pay close attention to the many times Richard suggests using a
certain word or phrase rather than others more commonly used. These
subtle differences are likely to result in powerful emotional connections.
Then make those new words and phrases—and this is so key—part of your
company and/or personal culture.

Many of Richard’s tactics will seem so simple to apply that you might
wonder, “Of course, why didn’t I think of that?” The key, though, is
understanding that each of these “seemingly simple” tactics is based on a
much larger and very specific principle: that truly caring about the other
person and their needs, their wants, their desires (and yes, their problems
and challenges) is where each of these life-affirming and powerful actions
actually originate.

As Richard says, “Relationships drive revenue. Build them and you will
soar.” If anyone has any doubts about the truth of this statement, I’d ask
them to read (actually, study) this magnificent book, apply its principles and
suggestions, and experience the increase in their income that they will have
well-deserved.

Once you understand the “why-to” and learn the “how-to,” you and your
business will become absolutely unstoppable. Buckle your seatbelt, dear
reader. You are about to take a very abundant ride.

My recommendation to you as a reader and fellow learner: This is a book

you won’t want to read just once, but rather many times in order to truly
take in its essence as well as its many specific tactics and ideas. It’ll also
make an excellent resource guide so keep it at an easily reachable distance,
perhaps even on a corner of your desk. You will find yourself coming back
to it time and again.

If you lead an organization, consider putting a copy of this invaluable

resource in the hands of each of your team members and watch how a
company culture of this type of excellence helps leverage the value you
provide to your clients.

And then purchase the book for the young up-and-comers in your life
(children, grandchildren, protégés) whom you’d like to equip for their
present and future, and set up to be nine steps ahead of the game…in a ten-
step game.

WOW! THANK YOU, RICHARD WEYLMAN,

FOR SHARING YOUR MASTERY AND
MAGNIFICENCE WITH US, BOTH THROUGH
YOUR MANY YEARS OF TEACHING, AND NOW
IN YOUR LATEST GEM OF A BOOK!

—BOB BURG, COAUTHOR OF THE

INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER,
THE GO-GIVER, AND AUTHOR OF THE SALES
CLASSIC, ENDLESS REFERRALS
 INTRODUCTION

WHY INVEST YOUR TIME?

Recently, I was speaking at a conference in Nashville, TN, on “How You

Can Stand Apart from the Competition.”

I reiterated a story I had read on LinkedIn that day by a woman who had a
standing order with Chewy, an online pet food retailer, for her cat’s food.

She received her monthly order, but sadly the cat had recently died. She
called Chewy’s customer service to return the cat food and was told,
“Please donate it to your shelter instead and we will give you a full credit.”
Nice!

But the story doesn’t end there. She went on to write that a few days after
her call she received a bouquet of flowers and a sympathy card from the
customer service rep at Chewy!

As soon as I told the story, a woman in the audience yelled out, “That was
my cat!” I had no idea she was in the audience.
I then asked the audience, “What do you think about what that person at
Chewy did?” They started chanting, “We’re switching to Chewy! We’re
switching to Chewy!”

The thoughtfulness that a person at Chewy demonstrated moved a ballroom

full of people.

Read that again: It was a person at Chewy who was thoughtful and caring.
Not some computer program or IT call, data scan, or AI interpretation with
its predetermined action.

No, it was a person. A person committed to elevating the experience, and

the emotional connection, for the relationship that client had with Chewy.
As a result, some will read and hear what this person did and actually
switch their business to Chewy.

Some will read this and say, “Well, Chewy is a big company and they can
do that. Besides, it is part of their culture to engage with their clients
emotionally and they are known for that. I am too busy and don’t have time
for that stuff.”

You are not “too busy,” and it is not about having time. It’s a matter of
having your strategic priorities in order to keep the business you have and
acquire even more.

Whether you call the people with whom you do business clients or
customers, in the end they are people. Real people.

With the ongoing commoditization of products and services, people have

many choices about where to spend or invest their money. As a result, they
are constantly evaluating whether they are with the right professional and
the right company. They ask themselves, “Do I feel appreciated and cared
for? Am I consistently treated with thoughtfulness, kindness, and
empathy?”

This great reevaluation by consumers requires professionals and companies

to reset their thinking and consequently their actions. How much business
would you acquire if you were known for your thoughtfulness, kindness,
caring, and empathy?

You may think, as so many do, that your clients are satisfied with what you
offer and do for them. You might think you are doing a good job for them
and that they would never fire you.

Many companies are so invested in this thinking that they even survey their
clients and rely on their “satisfaction scores” as a measure of how well the
company is doing. What these companies fail to realize is that satisfaction
scores only look backward. They lull sales, service, and marketing
professionals and company leaders to sleep instead of motivating them to
do more.

Moreover, most surveys do not gather first-person tactical data from buyers
on how to elevate and better their experience in the future so that they will
actually stay with the company. Or if they do gather data, it is so general or
ethereal as to be non-actionable and is archived as “feedback.”

In the real world, people’s expectations and desires have evolved

significantly. As the chair of a consulting and coaching firm, our ongoing
years of research and direct experience with consumers demonstrates that at
least 20 to 30 percent of those “satisfied” clients are actually “loyalty
neutral” at any given time.

Before you ask if this is possible, consider that you prove it repeatedly
whenever you bring in a new client whose previous professional and their
company are puzzled that their “satisfied” customer left them.

The cost of client acquisition is capital-intensive, time-consuming, and

requires relentless effort. Consequently, your focus—regardless of your role
in the business—should be to turn every “satisfied” client into a delighted
advocate of your business. Delighted advocates tell others, and this
substantial word of mouth helps you acquire more clients just like them.

In this book, I will describe what people are looking for today from the
professionals and companies with whom they do business. More
importantly, I will detail what you need to do to meet their expectations to
keep their business and to acquire more clients like them.

You will see, step by step, tactic by tactic, exactly how you can deliver on
your clients’ and prospects’ expectations and solidify their relationship with
you. The tactics offered in this book are proven ways to create a community
of delighted advocates and a highly profitable and sustainable business. To
that end, as you read, it will serve you well to take note of the tactics you
can use in your own business.

I have spent years researching and engaging with the clients of companies
in a variety of industries, including luxury goods, finance, insurance, travel,
professional sports teams, fast casual dining, automotive, hospitality, direct
sales, and many more. This lifetime of engaging with many thousands of
people has been a gift.

It is a gift that I am sharing with you here, as it has enabled me to identify

what people really want from you and how you can deliver it.

And believe me, if they don’t get it from you and your business, they will
fire you and find someone who will give it to them. However, if you give
people what they really want, they will be your best source of new business
growth.

Maya Angelou has been credited with saying, “I’ve learned that people will
forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never
forget how you made them feel.”

Enjoy the read and the outcome that will result if you follow the advice in
this book. There is real value when you become the most-loved professional
and company in your area.

However, to be crystal clear, this is not the last word on this topic.

That word belongs to your clients, who will be delighted to advocate for
you based on what you learn and implement from this book.
 CHAPTER 1

WHAT CLIENTS AND

PROSPECTS WANT AND WHY
YOU GET FIRED WITHOUT IT

Most professionals and their companies are focused on and love the
products or services they sell and service. That is understandable. Enjoying
and having passion for what you create, sell, or provide is critical for
success in any business today.

However, while you may love your products and services, the client is
focused on, and cherishes, the experiences they have with you and your
company.

Unfortunately, most professionals and companies do not realize the

significance of the client (or prospect) experience, nor the need to
consistently elevate it over their products and services.

A person’s experience with you, your team, and your company affects their
perception of your value and ultimately their loyalty to you.
Make no mistake, the elevated experience consumers seek now is far more
than just delivering good service. Good service is a minimum expectation
of all consumers today. If good service is good enough to retain a client,
then why are people changing companies and professionals?

As an example, in Engati Digital’s recent survey of a hundred top advisors

(known for giving great service) in the financial industry, 81 percent said
client retention was now more important to them than client acquisition
post-pandemic. They know that good or great service alone will not keep
business on the books.

With very few exceptions, people have multiple choices when looking for a
company or sales professional. While the purchase of a product or service is
often perceived and functions as a “transaction,” it is the experience that
people have around that purchase, and thereafter, that captures their
ongoing spending and their loyalty.

Dozens of studies have been conducted by organizations such as US Luxury

Institute, PwC Research, Reuters, Pew Research, and Zendesk that clearly
illustrate that people today are far more loyal to the experience they have
and the resulting sense of relationship than they are to a product or a brand.

In just one example of many, in a recent study conducted by PwC

Research’s Professional Services Group, 80 percent of respondents
indicated that both real and perceived value is largely based upon their
experience with the professional and by extension the company. It is an
integral part of their received value equation.

You inherently know this based on your own purchase and loyalty behavior.

For example, you might stop going to a noisy restaurant despite the
great food and service. If you stop and think about this, you will
quickly realize that even when a brand is great in every expected way,
one bad experience—like dining in a restaurant that is too noisy to
have a conversation—can outweigh all the positives. So, given that
value today is not just about product, pricing, and service but also the
 overall experience, you would probably decide to go somewhere else
for dinner.

As another example, think of a financial professional you have

engaged. Even if their expertise is clear, their attitude, or their
condescending tone, or their lack of personalization could easily lead
you to question, Am I in the right place with the right professional?

Or consider the repair technician who didn’t show up at the appointed

time, then didn’t have the parts needed to do the repair and said you
would have to call the shop to get rescheduled.

Or the call you made to an online retailer to get an issue resolved or a

question answered, only to get the run around.

You don’t need me to list more unpleasant experience examples—we

all have had them and continue to have them, and as a result those
professionals and their companies have lost our business.

In the introduction, I wrote about how “satisfied” individuals are loyalty

neutral. You prove this repeatedly when you capture new business by
moving a client from their current professional and firm to your business.

People today are not just buying the product or service you are selling.
People are buying the experience they have with you and the relationship
and emotional bond that it fosters.

Client experiences also affect the perception and decisions of others

more than you know. Client socializing and social media have become
the true centers for influence, not just of influence.

In this digital social media world, Zendesk studies have shown that up
to 87 percent of clients share good and bad experiences with others.
Like it or not, shared experiences of every kind become linked to you
and your “brand.”
 Regardless of whether your business is large or small, when clients do
business with and work with you, your name is on the experience they
have, and you own it.

And like it or not, every single client and prospective client will have
an experience with you, and you get the privilege of deciding what
that experience will be.

People have so many choices that the crucial cornerstone of a sustainable,

growing, and profitable business is unquestionably the elevation of every
client’s and prospect’s experience. And to make this even more of a burning
platform issue that must be addressed, some clients will leave a brand, a
professional, or a firm after just a single bad experience!

When you consistently elevate the client’s experience, you will build a
strong relationship with them, and those relationships will drive ongoing
revenue.

Furthermore, the buying population has moved well beyond the often-used
phraseology of corporate speak around this topic.

Phrases such as “client-centric” and “customer-focused” enjoy widespread

use. However, they are typically addressed and demonstrated by efforts to
“smooth out” the so-called “client’s/customer’s journey” by using
technology, improving responsiveness, and other strategies.

I suggest a reset of this thinking and lexicon. Thinking of the customer or

client as being on a journey may imply that the journey has an ending. God
forbid it has an ending, given the lifetime value of a client relationship! It is
alarming how few people in business understand, or perhaps more
accurately realize or calculate, the lifetime value of a client and how critical
their retention is.

WHAT EXPERIENCE DO PEOPLE WANT AND HOW DO

THEY DEFINE IT?
People seek an experience with you that is far more personalized and
humanized than smoothing out transaction rough spots or giving responsive
service. While those things are important, what is most important in this
ultra-competitive environment is very clear if you ask them.

Through our consulting work in many industries interviewing clients and

customers of widely diverse companies, what people want and how they
define an elevated experience has been consistent.

At the core, people today want a level of personal engagement that is not
happenstance or just some magical fairy dusting of special offers made by
marketing. While loyalty programs and preferred pricing and offers have
proven to be useful, what people seek now is far more and deeper than that.

They seek a relationship with you and your company.

They want to feel they are part of your community—a community that you
respect and appreciate.

What they seek is an experience that is: consistently thoughtful, kind,

empathetic, and caring, with interactions and moments that create
invaluable lasting impressions.

Large companies balk at this and say, “Well, frontline workers can’t be
expected to gather information and demonstrate that for customers or
clients, as that slows down the service and transaction process.”

Others who do much of their business online say that personal engagement
and being thoughtful, kind, empathetic, and caring is difficult if not
impossible, even with AI and upgraded chat. Yet Amazon and even Walmart
and Target have demonstrated that online interactions can still be
personalized and elevated.

And it is not just large companies and online providers that balk—
individuals and small firms do as well. They, too, are so focused on their
products, processes, platforms, plans, and positioning that they do not
realize they need to be focused on the one thing that will sustain and grow
any and every business: treating prospects, clients, and customers as
individual people.

Their merchandising mindset is exactly the problem and the reason they
can’t see the way forward. Even when companies and professionals see
themselves as relational, this focus equates to a transaction mindset. This
merchandising mindset and lack of awareness eventually lead to the loss of
clients and potential ongoing revenues.

Unfortunately, some merchandisers will refuse to change. They will

continue to believe their product or service will keep them in transactions
with clients. However, they will learn from their own painful experience
why the client is the final arbiter of loyalty.

Once some of their best clients have left, revenue slumps, and they’re in
business repair or resuscitation mode, they will then have the time to
reconsider and finally focus on their remaining clients as “people.”

Make no mistake, Chewy thrives, as does Amazon, Airbnb, The Ritz-

Carlton, Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers, Chick-fil-A, Wynn
Resorts, and many, many others, because their professionals take a personal
interest in knowing how to elevate their clients’ experience. They are laser-
focused on developing a relationship with clients and a client experience
that develops true advocacy for their brand which results in even more
business.

As Jeff Bezos reportedly said, “We see our customers as invited guests to a
party, and we are the hosts. It’s our job every day to make every important
aspect of the customer experience a little bit better.”

As far back as 1999, this was his focus. When asked, “Are you a pure
internet play?” he replied, “Internet, shminternet—what matters is we are
solely focused on the customer experience.”

His answer was very telling and serves as a signpost for all of us. While
Bezos is not the final arbiter of the customer experience, his answer was
part of the beginning of what is unmistakably the experience revolution.
Others have noted the importance of elevating the client experience and the
resultant loyal relationship. They offer similar insights.

For example, in a 2018 interview with Vanity Fair, Mark Cuban brilliantly
said, “One of the most underrated skills in business right now is being
nice.”

Sibel Terhaar, author and critically acclaimed Kindness Activist, said,

“Kindness is more valuable than your job title. People won’t remember
your job title, but they will remember your kindness.”

Bestselling author Steven Covey said, “When you show deep empathy
toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy
replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.”

Regardless of what you are currently doing or how you perceive the
strength of your prospect and client relationships, be mindful that consumer
expectations are continually evolving.

VALUE TODAY IS SOLELY DEFINED BY THE

CONSUMER AND BASED UPON EVERY
TOUCHPOINT THEY HAVE WITH YOU, YOUR
TEAM, AND YOUR COMPANY.

When you continually elevate their experience through your actions, the
results are nothing short of remarkable.

As a research-based consulting firm, we have been blessed to capture the

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Random documents with unrelated
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The Project Gutenberg eBook of Pogo Planet
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States
and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no
restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it
under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this
ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the
United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where
you are located before using this eBook.

Title: Pogo Planet

Author: Donald A. Wollheim

Illustrator: Hannes Bok

Release date: March 11, 2024 [eBook #73148]

Language: English

Original publication: New York, NY: Columbia Publications, Inc, 1941

Credits: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed

Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK POGO PLANET

***
 POGO PLANET

By MARTIN PEARSON

(Author of "Cosmos Eye", "The Unfinished City", etc.)

Introducing that modest little superman, that shrinking

violet of destiny, Ajax Calkins, and a world where you
had to hop, in some way, to get where you wanted to go!

[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from

Future combined with Science Fiction October 1941.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
As my ship hit the darkness that was the outer atmosphere of
Midplanet, I thrilled to the thought that I, Ajax Calkins, had at last
achieved my rightful place among the pioneers of space. Even when
my ship bounced on the green soil, flew end over end upwards to
come down ka-plunk in the wrong side of a gooey thick swamp, I
exulted that I was the first in possession of a major planet that had
been overlooked by the rest of the interplanetary crowd.
As I picked myself up from the midst of a pile of miscellaneous
equipment, hiking ropes, elephant guns, para-rays, spare shoes and
cans of Unifood, and rubbed my bruised arms and head, I thought of
how many millions would give their all to be in my place.
Midplanet! How the whole system had thrilled when its discovery
was finally determined last year! For decades science had known
there was a planet between Saturn and Uranus, ever since Pickering
had proved the perturbations of those planets' orbits pointed to a
body between them. Yet telescopes had always failed to detect it.
Few had taken it seriously. Yet, it was there.
It was discovered finally by electromagnetic induction coils at the
Mars Prime Observatory. It was rechecked from Flagstaff and
searched for by Tycho Eye. The latter could not see it. It was still
invisible, a strangely dark world.
It was then that I conceived my great idea. For years I had secretly
nourished my grievance against the world into which I found myself
born. All the great heroic acts had been done. The major planets
pioneered, Gretelspoon had at last opened up Pluto, and there was
nothing left for me to do to show that I too was made of godlike
stuff. But Midplanet ... there was my chance!
Hastily I outfitted a small spaceship with all that I would need.
Hastily but craftily I had the orbits charted and the controls
processed. My destiny was always certain for had it not been my
destiny to come into a large fortune early in life? Surely this had
been ordained?
Then I had hurtled through space towards Midplanet alone, secretly.
The world would not know of my triumph until I returned to tell
them and receive their adoring plaudits. Months went past while I
endured the hardships of space-sickness, the cosmitch, and voidal
ague.
At last Midplanet loomed dark in the celestial panorama. Still it cast
no light, still it was a black orb sailing silently on its mighty orbit,
unattended by any moon.
Finding that my ship was irrevocably destined to hit the planet, I
determined to land rather than turn back. So it came about that I
plunged down through the darkness and found to my amazement
that after several hundred yards of opaque gaseous envelope, I
emerged into brilliant blue sky and rapidly approached the green
surface.
After the crash and after I had picked myself up and rubbed arnica
on my black-and-blue spots, the problem of the dark planet turned
light demanded my attention.
I realized that some strange gas or mixture of gases chanced to
make up the outermost strata of the atmosphere of Midplanet. A
gaseous compound that absorbed light one way but would not pass
it once it had struck the surface of the planet. So that above the
planet remained swathed in lightless mystery, while below the sky
seemed to radiate blue and the lighting and warmth was held in to
appear as a beautiful spring day on Earth.
This then had been the circumstance which had kept Midplanet
veiled from the sight of man until I, Ajax Calkins, tore aside the veil.
I felt a glow of warmth suffuse my body with pride for this
accomplishment.

Buckling a para-ray to my belt (for I did not think heavier weapons

were necessary in this peaceful looking scene), I stepped to the door
of the ship and forced it open. At my feet the swamp oozed and
gurgled. A scant distance away the bank of solid ground lay. I leaped
the distance and I am proud to say misjudged it by a mere foot or
so. Dragging myself out of the thick gummy mess I clambered to the
bank of the strangely greenish soil, placed one foot forward,
scowled, and raised my right hand.
"I hereby take possession of this land in my name, Ajax Calkins, and
proclaim it subject to my will as Emperor." This I pronounced with
firm dignity becoming a Magellan or a Cortez.
You may seem surprised that I should make myself ruler of this land
and not merely annex it to the Interplanetary Union? Why should
that surprise you? Was it not mine by right of priority? And how,
indeed, do you think kingdoms and empires are won?
I am not a modest man. I have always said that I am a man of great
destiny. Why should I bow to traditions?
Having satisfied my will, I looked about.
Before me stretched a long rolling plain, green as if covered with
fields of grass. Yet it was not grass but a curious green hard clay
that seemed to make up the soil. Far to the distance low hills rose.
The oddest feature of the soil was the fact that it was interminably
interlaced with deep sharp cracks like a clay that had been baked
improperly and cracks all over.
It seemed to me that there was a strange discoloration far off in the
base of the hills from which white and grey plumes of vapor arose as
if marking the factories of some hillside city. A city it could well prove
to be and if that were so, then I had found a capital and subjects!
I set out to walk the several miles to the hills. I had sufficient
equipment for such a reconnoiter already on me.
The going was not easy. The ground was flat and hard enough to
walk on, but the deep cracks and narrow crevices which one
constantly came across made the trip difficult. I would have to leap
perilously over the more narrow cracks or else carefully find a way
around the wider ones.
It seemed to me that it would be difficult to make roads across such
a terrain, the bridges would be innumerable. I wondered how the
natives got around. I had seen no sign of animals as yet, but that
was not to be considered surprising if there were a city so near.
There were plants, a large number scattered here and there in
clumps, reddish and greenish masses somewhat like the vegetation
of our American Western deserts.
After walking and jumping and still more walking and leaping I
became tired after about an hour. The city was still a distance away
but it could now be seen with greater distinctness. It was indeed
what I had thought, a cluster of buildings obviously constructed for
intelligent beings and there were indeed columns of smoke rising
from them. More than that I could not distinguish.
I had come across no roads as yet which was odd if this were a city
though comprehensible considering the nature of the ground.
At last I saw a building of some sort in my path. It was a small
structure, hardly more than a frame-work construction of clay. I
made my way to it and looked at it. The building itself was nothing,
just a frame-work as I had said. It was what was propped up beside
it that puzzled and amazed me.
It was a nine-foot cylinder of shining metal. About the middle of this
metal shaft was fixed a circular frame. There were a number of what
might be controls set in the cylinder just above this central railwork
and a large mass like a doughnut running underneath the metal
hoop which might have held an engine of some sort. The bottom of
the shaft was capped by a large rubbery mass.
I could not figure out what this was. I stood it upright (it was not
too heavy) and looked at it from all directions. It was a puzzle. Then
I climbed on to the hoop affixed to its middle and sat down. The
central shaft ran between my legs, the engine was under me and the
controls faced me. It occurred to me that here was a machine
designed to be operated by someone in my position and of my
general size.

Because I am afraid of nothing, I touched the controls and pressed

them. Below me there was a sort of murmuring and rumbling. Then
the cylinder seemed to vibrate slightly, to grow more tense. I
grasped the metal bar tightly.
There was a terrifying hiss and then a terrific crash and the cylinder
suddenly hurtled into the air. I held on for dear life, my composure
dreadfully shaken. The whole machine bounced upwards into the air
and then came down on its rubber-capped bottom. I held on. It hit,
a shaft within the cylinder contracted and absorbed the shock and
suddenly flicked out again and up we went.
As I grasped the main tube for dear life I realized what it was. A
pogo stick! A giant, mechanically controlled, powered pogo stick!
Up and down, jarring and violent, down and up. I was dizzy and ill
and I didn't know how to stop it. It was progressing madly in the
general direction of the city. I pushed buttons wildly when I wasn't
holding on for dear life but I didn't seem to get the right
combination.
The stick would hurtle wildly forward into the air many dozens of
feet then come down to hit the earth with a shock, contract, and
then recoil violently again and up with a sickening jolt into the air
again.
I saw that it was a means for travel over terrain impassible because
of its crevices and cracks to wheeled vehicles or beings on foot. I
saw this as the unguided power-pogo came down directly into a
narrow crack. The capped bottom slid between the sides, the engine
box hit the sides of the narrow cleft hard, there was a terrific kick
and the shaft hit out again futilely in the airy emptiness of the depth
below it, and I went sailing out head over heels to land several yards
away in the midst of a band of Midplanetarians.
The next thing I knew I was being pinned down by a number of grey
fuzzy arms while a kangaroo looked down at me and questioned me
in a squeaky language. At least it looked like a kangaroo for it had
the giant legs and the long powerful tail of one, it had upstanding
mousey ears, a pointed rodentlike face, and a mammalian body
covered with short grey-brown hair. Around its waist was strapped a
belt-like harness from which several pouches were slung. In one
hand it held a weapon like a sort of combination of pistol and sling-
shot.
Naturally I did not answer its questions. It, the chief kangaroo-man,
shrugged its shoulders and motioned to its fellows who were holding
me down. They allowed me to get to my feet when I was surprised
to find that I was still all in one piece and that they had not touched
my equipment including my para-ray.
A little distance away was standing a simply gigantic power-pogo,
towering a couple of dozen feet high, with a large circular platform
set around its middle. Facing that they started to walk towards
there. Started, I say, for they walked in kangaroo leaps and I simply
fell when they tried to make me do the same.
They picked me up bodily and bounded over and up to the platform.
There they hold on to straps attached to the main cylinder and
waited. I think I must have fainted because I have no recollection of
the trip outside of a nightmare of terrible leaps and falls.

When I came to again it was in the city by the hills. Several of the
creatures were standing around me trying to question me in their
odd language and, of course, making no headway. I felt that this
was not the time to inform them of my imperial accession, I was not
sure that they were the most fitting inhabitants of this world to
receive that honor. There might be other intelligent races inhabiting
the same planet even as there are on Venus.
Accordingly I kept my mouth shut and stared them down. That was
a feat of which I could be proud considering the odd nature of their
eyes and faces.
Finally they led me away in short bounds to a building and up a
ramp to a room. There they thrust me and closed the door.
The room was large, partly open to an interior patio. But it had
another inhabitant. A girl!
She was standing by the open semi-balcony staring into the
courtyard. When I exclaimed, she turned sharply and looked at me.
She was dressed surprisingly like an earth girl, she looked very much
like the earth type. I congratulated myself on having picked for my
empire a planet which held a race so similar to my own. But my
hopes were dashed two seconds later when she opened her mouth
and said in perfect English:
"Hello, stranger, how'd you get to Midplanet so soon?"
I recovered my composure and introduced myself modestly, not
telling her of the position I had taken upon myself. "And who are
you?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm Nadia Landor and I came with the Official I. U. Expedition.
Our ship is about thirty miles away and I came here on a geological
survey in a single-seater flier. I stopped to say hello but our hosts
don't seem to know the meaning of the word."
"Oh," I said and fell silent. What was I to say? I had been so certain
that I could get to Midplanet first and now it seemed that the Union
had beaten me out again. Then, I squared my shoulders. This was
no way for Ajax Calkins, Emperor of at least half Midplanet, to act.
My destiny would see me through.
"You need have no fear," I said. "I will find a way for us to escape."
She looked at me oddly and smiled. "Oh, that? That's all settled.
We'll escape immediately if you want to. I've fixed things with our
buggy friend."
"With whom?" I gasped.
"Why, haven't you seen the buggers yet? Look, there's Bosco in the
yard." She beckoned to the inner courtyard. I went over to her side
and looked.
In the courtyard, standing just below us stood a monstrous insect. A
thing somewhat larger than a horse. A big squat compact looking
broad-backed creature. For a moment I stared at it without
comprehension and then suddenly its appearance struck a
responsive chord in my brain. It was a flea, a gigantic flea!
"Isn't he cute?" murmured Nadia. "He's agreed to help us escape."
"He's what? Do you mean to say he's...." I started.
"Intelligent?" she finished. "Yes, the buggers have a rather high
intelligence. Not as good as our kangaroo friends but nonetheless
clever. The fleas are a sort of semi-barbarian group inhabiting a
section about a thousand miles away. This fellow, whom I call Bosco,
was captured and doesn't like the idea of making a banquet for
some kangaroo holiday."
I goggled at the creature and it stared with an interested flicker of
its feelers at me.
"I'm glad you still have your para-ray. It was all that I was missing.
Come on, let's go now." Nadia suited her actions to her words by
vaulting the stone balustrade and landing astride the monster bug's
back. I gingerly followed her and seated myself in front.
"Now what?" I said for I didn't know how this was going to help us
escape.
"Hold tight and use your ray when the guard appears," she said and
then screamed at the top of her lungs. I was nearly paralyzed myself
with the sound but the guard who opened the gate was more so and
I beamed him nicely.
Bosco seemed to sink lower and then his monstrously powerful legs
smashed down and we made the most colossal bound I have ever
dreamed of. That super-flea must have covered at least three
hundred yards with that first bound and he must have made two
hundred at least with every subsequent bounce.
We held on for dear life and the air whished past us like mad.
Behind us the city of kangaroos sprang to life as they saw their
assorted prisoners escaping and very soon I saw over my shoulder
that a line of gigantic steam-powered pogos were bounding along
after us, each manned by several armed creatures.
The flea was fast but the pogos, powered by terrific steam-boilers,
were equally so. And thus we raced across the clay creviced terrain,
two humans on the back of a flea-colossus followed by a single-file
line of puffing steel pogos, their plumes of smoke leaving a trail
behind them.
I turned and tried to pick off the riders with my ray but it was
hopeless, so violently was everything going up and down. I gave up
and clung for dear life to the hard neck of our steed.
But it seemed to be impossible to shake off our followers. They
remained fast on our trail and after a while I realized that Bosco was
tiring out, his leaps were not so high or far.

"What shall we do?" called Nadia to me. "We can't shake them."
It was then that the idea occurred to me that saved us. We were
already very close to where my spaceship had landed and I
succeeded to conveying in signals what I had in mind to our quite
intelligent flea.
On we went and when we came to the side of the swamp in which
my ship had landed, Bosco gave a terrific leap which must have well
set a record for all Midplanet and sailed fully five hundred yards
across the swamp to land exhausted on the other side.
But the pogos could not make that great leap, nor could the giant
things stop so easily. On they rushed and one after another they
landed in the middle of that thick gummy deep swamp-like mass.
The automatic vibrations of their shafts continued but their bases
were hopelessly gummed in. The crews were hurled off in all
directions and fell helplessly into the gooey morass.
We were saved! My ship was around at the other side but we could
walk it. Nadia signalled our thanks to the bugger and it bounded off
alone towards the distant horizon.
As we walked, Nadia complimented me on my trick of the swamp. I
glowed within and, turning to her, said:
"Let us stay here and master this world, my Empress. I, Ajax
Calkins, lay my heart and a planet at your feet."
But women are fickle creatures and cannot understand the ways of
the great. She laughed and said: "Don't be silly, my husband is
waiting for me at our own spaceship."
And then when we found that my ship had, while I had been away,
sunk into the swamp completely and that we would have to walk the
twenty or so miles to Nadia's craft, she laughed even louder. Women
do not appreciate destiny.
*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK POGO PLANET ***

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