Using tact

and
diplomacy

COMMUNICATION

LEVEL NUMBER LANGUAGE

Advanced C1_4012X_EN English
Goals

■ Can explain the ideas of

tact and diplomacy and the
skills involved.

■ Can use a range of

expressions and
techniques to remain
tactful in a wide range of
uncomfortable situations.

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 Have you ever had to handle an
uncomfortable situation?

Perhaps someone is upset, or there

has been a disagreement?

Let’s learn some strategies to help you

communicate more effectively in
delicate situations.

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 Warm up discussion

Social situations can sometimes

be uncomfortable.

Talk to the teacher about

specific situations where
someone might feel
uncomfortable or awkward.

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Tell your teacher

Explain how the following situations can make people feel.

Have you ever encountered these situations before?

Someone you don’t know well is

upset

argument disagreement

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What about you?

? ? ? ?? ?
? ?
? ?
How do you tend to
?
behave in these

? ?
kinds of situations?

? ? ? ?
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 Tact and diplomacy

Tact and diplomacy are social skills and methods which aim at understanding others
and being sensitive to their ideas, feelings and beliefs.

Using tact and diplomacy effectively can lead to stronger relationships, greater
respect and make communications less stressful for all parties.

In short, these skills involve knowing what to say and how to say it according to the
context.

She used tact and diplomacy to avoid the awkward topic.

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Attentive listening

■ One very useful skill which assists with effective tact and diplomacy is attentive
listening.
■ Attentive listening focuses not just on what is being said, but how it is being
said. This enables the listener to react in the most appropriate way.
■ Read the tips below to help you with attentive listening.

■ Ensure you understand the

message of what someone is telling
you.

■ Identifying non-verbal
communication can help to
understand the subtext of what
someone is saying.

■ Non-verbal communication might

take the form of gestures, tone of
voice and other body language.

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Emotional intelligence

■ Emotional intelligence is a marker of how well someone can understand their

own emotions and the emotions of others.
■ People with high emotional intelligence are more adept at using tact and
diplomacy.

■ Understanding emotions has been

classified as a type of intelligence,
with no connection to intelligence
of the academic kind.

■ People with a higher level of

emotional intelligence are more
capable at developing meaningful
relationships with others.

■ Emotional intelligence can be useful

in managing stress, coping with
depression and ‘fitting in’ in social
situations.

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Showing empathy

■ Empathy is the ability to see something from another person’s perspective.

■ Successful communication relies on each participant to be aware of the feelings
and emotions of others.

Feeling empathy is generally

intuitive, but can also be actively
worked on and developed. Empathy
can be summarised by:

■ Making an effort to put yourself ‘in

the shoes’ of others, or imagining
how they must feel in a situation

■ Understanding others, picking up

on emotional cues and showing
sensitivity

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Useful phrases: reacting to upset emotions

You must be
That must be Is there anything I
feeling quite upset
really tough. can do?
at the moment.

I know it seems
I can see how I’m so sorry to
hard now, but with
that’s a difficult hear that
time things always
situation to be in. happened to you.
do improve.

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Phrases to show empathy

Below are some useful phrases to show you are using empathy. Can you
add some of your own?

I can understand that this must be...

I can see that you are in a difficult position...

I can only imagine how...

Putting myself in your shoes,...

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Empathy and attentive listening

Respond to your teacher, listening for their tone and mood, using
attentive listening.

1 “You don’t understand me!”

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Empathy and attentive listening

Respond to your teacher, listening for their tone and mood, using
attentive listening.

1 “You don’t understand me!”

2 “You don’t understand me!”

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Empathy and attentive listening

Respond to your teacher, listening for their tone and mood, using
attentive listening.

1 “You don’t understand me!”

2 “You don’t understand me!”

3
“You don’t understand me?”

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 Reading between the lines

What did you notice about your

teacher’s voice, tone and body
language that helped you to
respond appropriately?

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 Reacting with empathy

Your colleague has just burst into tears in the middle of a meeting at
work. She is under a lot of pressure and finding it difficult to cope.
Handle the situation with empathy, and make sure you have addressed
all of the points she brings up.

Things are really

getting to be too Do you need to take
much! There is so a moment to calm
much pressure at down? We can talk
the moment – I just outside if you’d like.
can’t keep up!

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Respect

Lately a colleague has been talking to their co-workers in a

dismissive way with a distinct lack of respect.
Write them a tactful email explaining the importance of respect
and suggesting ways they can improve their communication.

– □ ×

Remember to To:
show empathy
by Subject: Respect in the office
acknowledging
their
perspective on
Remember to
the situation!
explain how the
people your
colleague is
speaking to
must feel too.

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 diplomacy

Being diplomatic is hard work, and needs a huge deal of emotional intelligence and
discretion. Deciding between what and what not to say can be tricky, however it is
always important to handle a situation in a way that avoids offending somebody or
upsetting them. Reading how someone is feeling plays a huge role in this.

Probably one of the most challenging aspects of diplomacy is striking a balance

between being true to yourself and making sure your behaviour is not upsetting to
other people. Look at the man’s response below. What kind of question do you think
he was just asked?

There are so many different perspectives on this. It is actually

really hard to say for certain what I think about that.

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Assertiveness

■ Assertiveness can help us get more out of our social situations and lead to
more positive outcomes. It is the middle ground between passive and
aggressive social behavior.
■ Assertive behaviour can help improve our self-esteem and confidence, and
build respect.
■ Assertiveness can be a very tactful way of negotiating an argument. Look at
the tips on being assertive below!

■ Being calm and persistent –

repeating clearly what you want
while maintaining an even tone of
voice and controlling your
emotions.

■ Rather than getting emotional in an

argument, an assertive approach
would aim to give a calm and
measured response.

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Strategies

■ Communication and relationships can be unpredictable, but mastering the art of

tact and diplomacy can ensure you achieve your social goals.
■ The skills discussed in this lesson can help you negotiate, talk your way out of
difficult situations. Don’t forget it also helps to smile!
■ Other skills that are useful in a range of situations include:

Rapport building aims to reach an understanding

■ Building a rapport
and easy channel of communicationbetween
different people. Genuine rapport building takes
time and involves finding common ground and
developing a bond.

Being polite and courteous, as everyone is

■ Showing politeness
taught growing up, always pays off.

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Being diplomatic

? ? ? ?? ?
? ? ?
In what situations is it
best to give your
? ?
opinion, and in what

? ? ? ? ? ?
situations is it best to
withhold your opinion?

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Phrases for being diplomatic: which are better in a group
setting, and which are better one-on-one? Which suit both?

Perhaps this I understand the

Maybe we can discussion is a little situation from
move on to some heavy for right now your point of view,
lighter – maybe it would be but there are
conversation. better to continue it other ways of
a different time? looking at it too.

My take on that is
There are so many
a little different,
different ways of It’s difficult to say
but I'd prefer not
looking at one for certain...
to get into that
issue.
right now.

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Tell your teacher

How would you show assertiveness in each of these scenarios?

somebody is trying to tell you what

to do in a situation and you have
your own ideas about how to best
handle it

someone is
aggressive
behaving in a
behaviour from
manipulative
a colleague
way

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 Be tactful!

You are at a work function and over the course of the night you end up in
two slightly uncomfortable situations with colleagues you don’t know very
well. How are you going to handle the situations? Will you be assertive about
your opinion, or will you keep it to yourself? How will your handling of each
situation differ? Role play and respond to each person.

Steve really needs a

What do you mean
fashion designer
you believe in
don’t you think?
climate change?
He’s got absolutely
How could you
appalling sense of
believe that? You’ve
fashion. It’s like his
been brainwashed
mother dresses
by left-wing media!
him.

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A tough situation

You are in a group of friends at a cafe and the conversation has

turned to a topic with which your friend is extremely
uncomfortable. She’s growing more and more upset and
nobody else seems to notice. Try to subtly change the subject
without making him/her feel worse.

■ Make sure to handle the situation

in a way that doesn’t draw
attention to your friend who is
upset
■ Remember to stay calm
■ Try to keep things lighthearted -
you can even use some humour

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Reflect on the lesson

Take a moment to review any new

vocabulary, phrases, language
structures or grammar points you have
come across for the first time in this
lesson.

Review them with your teacher one more

time to make sure you don’t forget!

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Homework

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Useful phrases

Create flashcards for yourself with some phrases you found

useful from the lesson. Which will you use the most? In what
kind of situations?

I can only imagine

how you’re feeling.

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Write an email

Your co-worker has emailed you as he is upset about two particular

colleagues who keep making unintentially offensive remarks to
him. He isn’t sure how to handle the situation and needs some
advice. Reply with tact and give him some suggestions on how to
stand his ground without causing a problem.

– □ ×

To: [email protected]

Subject:

Dear Dave,

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