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Civilizations Nostalgia and Utopia 1st Edition Daya
Krishna Digital Instant Download
Author(s): Daya Krishna
ISBN(s): 9788132108917, 8132108914
Edition: 1
File Details: PDF, 51.78 MB
Year: 2012
Language: english
Civilizations
...
DAYA KRISHNA
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any
means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information
storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Published by Vivek Mehra for SAGE Publications India Pvt Ltd, typeset in 1O/12pt
Calisto MT by Star Compugraphics Private Limited, Delhi and printed at Rajkamal Electric
Press, Kundli , Haryana.
The SAGE Team: Gayeti Singh, Aniruddha De, Rajib ChatteIjee and Umesh Kashyap
Dedicated
to the memory of
Late Professor M. M. Bhalla
***
To Francine
for Love Ever Received
and
Ever Aspired For
Thank you for choosing a SAGE product! If you have any comment,
observation or feedback, I would like to personally hear from you.
Please write to me at [email protected]
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3. Reflection on Action 22
4. Perspectives on Freedom 33
Index 117
About the Author 120
Foreword
Foreword xi
the mind, to combat presuppositions and reinforce critical thinking!
Bharfiya Darsana: Eka Nayf DrHi 16 is translated as 'Indian Philosophy:
A New Approach', but he has a completely different book with the lat-
ter title as the Hindi volume is not a translation of the English work.
Daya Krishna strongly decries the reduction of Indian philosophy
to its history and the typical story that divides it into astika and nastika
perspectives, which with the exception of Carvaka are viewed as
oriented to mok$a with its quest seen as one for 'Truth'. In contrast,
Western philosophy is seen as being mind-centric and trapping one
in a maze of logic. 'But is all that philosophers did in a long tradition
of reflection that was 2,500 years old! Did they have nothing new
to say? And why do their texts always begin with the piirvapa~,'
Daya Krishna asks. Regrettably, there is little description of individual
thinkers and instead there is a focus on so-called schools such as Nyaya,
Vedanta and Sa1)khya. Sadly, much of the material is in Sanskrit and
it is primarily literature students who know this language and rarer
still is the person who can read Pali and Prakrit! Hence, a massive
injustice has been done to Indian philosophy.
Currently, only the surface of the developments after AD 1200
is considered in explorations of Dvaita, Visi~ta Advaita, Advaita,
Sa1J.khya and Acinta Bhedabhed. Sankara, Ramanuja, Vallabha,
Madhva and Caitanya are talked of. But the story of what happens
from U dayan to Gangesa and on to Gadadhara remains to be written.
The story ofNyaya after Gadadhara is ignored as are the contributions
of Gokulnath Upadhyaya, Girdhar Upadhyaya, Kri~J)abhatta Arde
and Parvate Sastri 17
The story of Indian philosophy is a long and difficult one, Daya
Krishna asserts, and until many people work on it, a clear picture can-
not emerge. One must partake of the rasa and enjoy the debates that
have taken place over 2,500 years. His own work offers us beginnings.
As Mukund Lath, who was one of the participants in the dialogue
with the pandits, expressed it, 'Dayaji wanted the samvad to become
a movement.' 18 The task remains unfinished and needs to be taken
forward.
Shall Mayaram
Foreword xiii
Introduction
I feel that the task is to think of the 'future' in the context of the 'present' .
It is, of course, true that we stand on the contributions that the thinkers
of the past have made and on what civilizations have achieved in the
understanding of man, nature ,and society and the 'reflection' on them
Introduction xvii
This is the challenge to philosophers, as I see it. Whether we can come
to terms with it in any meaningful way is difficult to say, but we must
become aware of it and try to deal with it so that our thinking may be
relevant to the incoming generation which increasingly finds all past
knowledge irrelevant to their 'living' concerns.
Introduction xix
alive. Its beauty prevails and its scent is always there to be enjoyed
whenever one opens the book. Philosophy, agreed DK with Derrida,
is a flower. Philosophy, agreed DK with what he read or wanted to
read between the lines of Derrida, cannot die.
Recently I came across one of Richard Rorty's-DK's other 'post-
modem piirva-pak$in' -latest writings, an essay titled 'Philosophy and
the Hybridization of Culture'.4 Like DK's Shimla lectures, Rorty's
paper is 'futuristic' or rather he attempts to face the 'brave new world'
in which we live instead of clinging onto pasts. DK would certainly
not agree (to say the least) with Rorty who suggests that 'we would
do better to think of philosophy as a genre of cultural politics than
as the search for wisdom'.5 Nevertheless, Rorty shares DK's feeling
that times are rapidly changing, that 'east' is no longer just east and
'west' is no longer just west, that something new is happening, hence
we should view the world and ourselves in the world differently,
afresh, innovatively. 'I do not see any point in mourning the likely
disappearance of many distinctive local cultures and languages any
more than in deploring the loss of those that have already vanished',
writes Rorty and adds:
A hundred years from now, the term 'cultural difference' may have
outlived its usefulness. If nuclear war has somehow been avoided,
and if the sociopolitical changes we lump together under the rubric of
'globalization' continue, our descendants may no longer have much
use for it. They may think of both differences between cultures and
differences between currencies as inconveniences that affiicted their
benighted ancestors. 6
Introduction xxi
political philosopher; and Francis Arakal, an Advaitic Christian and
Sanskrit scholar from Kerala. We used to have our lunch together
under the tree near the dining hall, and gather in DK's room in the
evenings to further discuss the innumerable questions he had raised
in his talks. Daya and Vivek went for afternoon walks in the woods,
holding hands and giggling like the college boys they used to be. We
often visited the Indian Coffee House on Mall Road for old times' sake
and for a dosa or sambar-vada. Coffee (a 'postmodern' espresso or cap-
puccino) we had at Barista next door. It was perhaps an illustration of
the above-mentioned 'free travel' between past and future.
When I sit down to reread and finally prepare the Shimla lectures
for publication, three years after they were delivered and almost a
year after DK's untimely death, Jiddu Krishnamurti (whom DK never
met) suddenly comes to mind. Krishnamurti used to open many of
his public talks with the following words, here quoted from a talk at
Benares in 1981:
The speaker is not giving a lecture. You are not being talked at or being
instructed. This is a conversation between two friends, two friends who
have certain affection for each other, certain care for each other, who
will not betray each other and have certain deep common interests.
So they are conversing amicably, with a sense of deep communication
with each other, sitting under a tree on a lovely cool morning with the
dew on the grass, talking over together the complexities oflife. That is
the relationship which you and the speaker have- we may not meet
actually; there are too many of us-but we are as if walking along a path,
looking at the trees, the birds, the flowers, breathing the scent of the air,
and talking seriously about our lives; not superficially, not casually, but
concerned with the resolution of our problems. The speaker means what
he says; he is not just being rhetorical, trying to create impression; we
are dealing with problems of life much too serious for that. 9
'Imagine! Even the Buddhists and the Jains had to write in Sanskrit in
order to be considered not merely knowledgeable, but to pave their way
to the central arena of discussion in this country.'
'Imagine! We live in language.'
'Imagine! The attempt to find consistency and completeness through
proofs, failed!'
'Imagine! When a person tells her name, so much is hidden in it, layers
upon layers of memory and hope.'
'Imagine! Even today people are called Bhardwaj, Bhargava etc. Can
you imagine such continuity?'
'Imagine! When Alexander came to India, what was he requested by
Aristotle? To bring back to Greece a wise man from the east, from
India!'
'Imagine! With this one word, vyavahiira, you reject everything. But
Friends, the vyavahiira matters!'
These are just a few of the 'imagines' which you will encounter as you
read the transcribed lectures. The phrase 'imagine', in my reading,
indicates DK's endless curiosity and deep involvement in all that he
was talking about. Often in the lectures he says: 'I cannot go into the
details' or 'this is another story which I will not go into today', only
to go into the details despite his former 'excuse'. He simply could not
resist the temptation; he was too interested; he felt that it was worth-
while calling the listeners' attention to several vital issues even if they
were not the central focus of the discussion. He was communicating
with his listeners in several channels simultaneously and invited them
to join him in a multifaceted all-embracing interdisciplinary concep-
tual inquiry.
Special effort has been made to keep the Shimla lectures 'untouched'
as much as possible, to enable the reader to 'listen' to DK instead of
reading a heavily edited volume. I hope that the dialogic, samvadic
spirit in which the lectures were delivered is aptly conveyed. For 'lay'
readers unfamiliar with the 'language of the gods', I added footnotes
'translating' or explaining Sanskrit terms interwoven with DK's
language. So please imagine that you are sitting around the long
wooden table of the seminar room in the lIAS, Shimla, the chairperson
inviting Professor Daya Krishna to deliver his lecture, and Dayaji in
Introduction xxiii
his perpetual kurta-pajama and chappals rising up, taking his place at
the podium and proclaiming: 'Friends!'
Daniel Raveh
Jaipur, August 2008
Daya Krishna
Jaipur, 29 January 1969
Social
Philosophy
Past and Future
1
In the last chapter, I dealt with the two ways in which one may
conceive of society in relation to the individuals that compose it. I also
argued that the choice that one makes with respect to either of these
conceptions profoundly affects the social and individual reality one
may hope to encounter in the future. The decision between the two,
thus, is not to be made in terms of their adequacy to reflect some pre-
existent reality, but rather in terms of what we want that reality to be.
Either choice, in true human fashion, leads to its own predicament in
which it involves the society and the individuals who have opted, con-
sciously or unconsciously, for that conception. No choice, at least for
a human being, proves an unmixed blessing. In this chapter, it shall be
my attempt to explore the predicaments generated by the two choices
and, for purposes of illustration, I shall use examples from the 'ideal
type' schematizations known as Western and Indian cultures which
correspond to a great extent to the actual historical cultures too.
The view that conceives of society as the last term of our thought
in terms of which and for which everything else is to be understood
gives rise to what I have elsewhere called 'the socio-centric predica-
ment' .1 The predicament primarily results from viewing the human
individual as having nothing in himself that he does not owe to society
and, therefore, from seeking the justification for each of his acts in
terms of its social consequences. In this perspective, the individual is
basically defined as a social animal. He achieves his humanity only
through the social and cultural tradition in which he grows and which
alone makes of him a human being, as distinct from a biological ani-
mal. Man's humanity is thus seen as derived from his sociality and
it is the process of socialization which really humanizes him in the
strict sense of the term. Further, the individual is seen as something
ephemeral, which comes into being and passes away. What endures
is the society of which he is a mc:mber. He has become what he is
because of the society into which he happened to be born or reared
and what survives of him is what he has left to society, which endures
after he is dead and gone.
The socio-centric perspective which makes man conceive of himself
and society in this way leads to the socio-centric predicament in that
the individual, who is supposed to have nothing in himself which is
not derived from society, is simultaneously supposed to be burdened
with the absolute responsibility for all that happens to society too. The
Greek, the Christian and the Communist versions are merely variations
on this one theme which lies at the heart of Western culture. Man is
essentially and intrinsically responsible not just for his own self but
also for others, and this not because he is free and his actions have
consequences for others, but because he is social or communal at the
very heart of his being and cannot be conceived of as apart from society.
It is Adam's sin that Christ has to redeem. But Christ, at least, was the
son of God. Not so in the vision of Marx. Here, it is man-conditioned
by the society and the class into which he is born-who is expected
to usher in the reign of freedom and hold himself responsible if he
does not do so. For man to have such a burden of others' actions on
his shoulders is certainly to develop a sense of community, but it is
a community more in guilt than in redemption. Christ, it is true, is
supposed to have redeemed humanity by his supreme sacrifice on the
Cross and thus established a community in Redemption. However,
first, the humanity which is supposed to have been redeemed by
Christ's sacrifice is basically confined to the circle of those who have
faith in Christ and, second, even after the supposed redemption of the
faithful, it is more the original sin which weighs on the individual and
collective consciousness of the West than the freedom from that guilt,
which the Redemption presumably provided.
The idea that one may be responsible for actions that have not been
taken by one's own self and that one may be redeemed by someone
else's action may seem positively outrageous to a sensibility that treats
the individual as essentially apart from his relationships with others,
relationships in which he may happen to be accidentally involved.
The doctrine of kanna in traditional Hindu thought primarily reflects
this basic presupposition that it would be an immoral world indeed
Yesterday Ernie was telling Orchard that I was going to plant some
Spanish chestnuts, and she said: “Oh, I shall be dead and gone before they
are big; what a pity we had none sooner!” and Ernie burst out crying and
said: “No, you must not die alone—I don’t like people to die alone; we must
die all together!” He has said the same to me before, poor darling. After
Lenchen’s [Princess Christian’s] boys were gone, and he had seen Eddy and
Georgy [sons of the Prince of Wales], his own loss came fresh upon him, and
he cried for his little brother! It is the remaining behind the loss, the missing
of the dear ones, that is the cruel thing to bear. Only time can teach one that,
and resignation to a Higher Will. * * *
Darmstadt, November 9th.
* * * The new Church laws (similar to the Prussian) go through our
Upper Chamber to-morrow, and will meet with great opposition. Louis is, of
course, for accepting them, as a check must be put on the Catholics; for the
Catholic clergy are paid by the State as well as the Protestant, so that the
State has an equal right over both; but this right the Catholics have for years
managed to evade. The Bishop of Mayence is doing his utmost to create
every possible obstacle, but it is to be hoped that one will not here have to
have recourse to the method of fines and imprisonment as in Prussia * * *
November 16th.
Many thanks for your dear letter, and for the advice, which, as a mark of
your interest in our children, is very precious, besides being so good! What
you mention I have never lost sight of, and there is, as you say, nothing more
injurious for children than that they should be made a fuss about. I want to
make them unselfish, unspoiled, and contented; as yet this is the case. That
they take a greater place in my life, than is often the case in our families,
comes from my not being able to have enough persons of a responsible sort
to take charge of them always; certain things remain undone from that
reason, if I do not do them, and they would be the losers. I certainly do not
belong by nature to those women who are above all wife; but circumstances
have forced me to be the mother in the real sense, as in a private family, and
I had to school myself to it, I assure you, for many small self-denials have
been necessary. Baby-worship, or having the children indiscriminately about
one, is not at all the right thing, and a perpetual talk about one’s children
makes some women intolerable. I hope I steer clear of these faults—at least I
try to do so, for I can only agree in every word you say, as does Louis, to
whom I read it; and he added when I was reading your remarks: “Das thust
Du aber nicht. Die Kinder und andere Menschen wissen gar nicht, was Du
für sie thust” [“But you don’t do so. Neither the children nor anybody else
knows what you do for them”]. He has often complained that I would not
have the children enough in my room, but, being of your opinion, where it
was not necessary, I thought it better not. * * *
December 12th.
I enclose a few lines to Mr. Martin.[124] I have only had time to look at
the preface, and am very glad to hear that you are satisfied.
With what interest shall I read it! You will receive these lines on the 14th.
Last year I had the comfort of being near you. It did me real good then, and I
thank you again for those short and quiet days, where the intercourse with
you was so soothing to my aching heart. There is no Umgang [intercourse] I
know, that gives me more happiness than when I can be with you—above
all, in quiet. The return to the so-called world I have barely made. Life is
serious—a journey to another end. The flowers God sends to brighten our
path I take with gratitude and enjoy; but much that was dearest, most
precious, which this day commemorates, is in the grave; part of my heart is
there too, though their spirits, adored Papa’s, live on with me, the holiest and
brightest part of life, a star to lead us, were we but equal to following it! The
older I grow, the more perfect, the more touching and good, dear Papa’s
image stands before me. Such an entire life for duty, so joyously and
unpretendingly borne out, remains for all times something inexpressibly fine
and grand! With it how tender, lovable, gay, he was! I can never talk of him
to others who have not known him, without tears in my eyes—as I have
them now. He was and is my ideal. I never knew a man fit to place beside
him, or so made to be devotedly loved and admired. * * *
December 14th.
Before this day is over, I must write a few words—my thoughts are so
much with you and with the past, the bright, happy past of my childhood,
where beloved Papa was the centre of this rich and happy existence. I have
spent nearly the whole day with the precious volume which speaks so much
of you and of him.
What a man in every sense of the word; what a Prince he was—so
entirely what the dear old Baron [Stockmar] urged him always to be! Life
with him must have seemed to you so secure and well-guarded. How you
must have loved him! It makes one’s heart ache again and again, in reading
and thinking of all dear Papa was to you, that you should have had to part
from him in the heat of the day, when he was so necessary. Ihm ist wohl
[With him it is well]. A life like his was a whole long lifetime, though only
twenty-two years, and he well deserved his rest!
The hour is nearing when we last held and pressed his hand in life, now
thirteen years ago. How well I recollect that last sunrise, and then the
dreadful night with you that followed on that too awful day! But it is not
well to dwell on these things, when we have the bright, sunny past to look
back to. Tennyson’s beautiful Dedication[125] expresses all one feels and
would wish to say. I can only add, with a heavy-drawn sigh, “Oh, to be
worthier of such a Father!” How far beneath him, if not always in aims, at
least in their fulfilment, have I always remained!
December 17th.
My best thanks for the letter of the 15th. Poor Colonel Grey’s[126] death
is shocking, and Bertie and Alix are sure to have felt it deeply. Dear Bertie’s
true and constant heart suffers on such occasions, for he can be constant in
friendship, and all who serve him serve him with warm attachment. I hope
he won’t give way to the idea of Sandringham being unlucky, though so
much that has been trying and sad has happened to them there! Superstition
is surely a thing to fight against; above all, with the feeling that all is in
God’s hands, not in ours!
How interesting the book is [“Life of the Prince Consort”]! I have
finished it, and am befriedigt [satisfied]. It was a difficult undertaking, but
Mr. Martin seems to have done it very well.
I am sure dear Osborne is charming as ever, but I can’t think of that large
house so empty; no children any more; it must seem so forsaken in our old
wing. I have such a Heimweh [yearning] to see Osborne again after more
than six years. * * *
1875.
Each year the Princess Alice endeavored by some public effort or other
—either a dramatic or musical performance—to collect funds for her many
charitable institutions which, as they extended their field of usefulness, were
more and more in need of pecuniary help. Artists as well as amateurs gladly
offered their services on all such occasions.
In the beginning of this year the Prince and Princess and their children
went to England for two months, spending part of the time with the Queen,
and part with the Prince and Princess of Wales. The two eldest daughters,
Victoria and Elizabeth, accompanied their grandmother to Balmoral in May.
The whole family returned to Darmstadt at the end of June. In July the
Prince and Princess Louis were present at the “coming of age” of the
Hereditary Grand Duke of Baden. The rest of the summer was spent at
Kranichstein.
In 1874 the Hessian Government had amended their educational laws for
the schools, and had established, as a fundamental principle, that needle-
work in all its branches should be taught in all girls’ schools, and that
suitable teachers for this purpose should be engaged. To meet this necessity,
a course of lectures and instruction in the art of needle-work was instituted
by the “Alice Society,” open to women and girls of all classes. This has
proved in its results of real blessing and benefit to the whole country.
[The next two letters arose out of the expression of an opinion on the part
of some of the Prince Consort’s friends, that the publication of his Life under
the sanction of the Queen, with unreserved fulness of details, had been
premature.]
Darmstadt, January 3d, 1875.
* * * It is touching and fine in you to allow the world to have so much
insight into your private life, and allow others to have what has been only
your property and our inheritance.
People can only be the better for reading about dear Papa, such as he was,
and such as so feelingly and delicately Mr. Theodore Martin places him
before them. To me the volume is inexpressibly precious, and opens a field
for thought in various senses.
For the frivolous higher classes how valuable this book will be, if read
with real attention, as a record of a life spent in the highest aims, with the
noblest conception of duty as a leading star.
To this letter Her Majesty replied:
Osborne, January 12, 1875.
Dearest Alice:—* * * Now as regards the book. If you will reflect a few
minutes, you will see how I owed it to beloved Papa to let his noble
character be known and understood, as it now is, and that to wait longer,
when those who knew him best—his own wife, and a few (very few there
are) remaining friends—were all gone, or too old, and too far removed from
that time, to be able to present a really true picture of his most ideal and
remarkable character, would have been really wrong.
He must be known, for his own sake, for the good of England and of his
family, and of the world at large. Countless people write to say, what good it
does and will do. And it is already thirteen years since he left us!
Then you must also remember, that endless false and untrue things have
been written and said about us, public and private, and that in these days
people will write and will know: therefore the only way to counteract this is
to let the real, full truth be known, and as much be told as can be told with
prudence and discretion, and then, no harm, but good, will be done. Nothing
will help me more, than that my people should see what I have lost!
Numbers of people we knew have had their Lives and Memoirs published,
and some beautiful ones: Bunsen’s by his wife; Lord Elgin’s, by his (very
touching and interesting); Lord Palmerston’s; etc., etc.
“The Early Years” volume was begun for private circulation only, and
then General Grey and many of Papa’s friends and advisers begged me to
have it published. This was done. The work was most popular and greatly
liked. General Grey could not go on with it, and asked me to ask Sir A.
Helps to continue it, and he said that he could not, but recommended Mr.
Theodore Martin as one of the most eminent writers of the day, and hoped I
could prevail on him to undertake this great national work. I did succeed,
and he has taken seven years to prepare the whole, supplied by me with
every letter and extract; and a deal of time it took, but I felt it would be a
national sacred work. You must, I think, see I am right now; Papa and I too
would have suffered otherwise. I think even the German side of his character
will be understood.
One of the things that pleases people most is the beautiful way in which
he took all good Stockmar’s often very severe observations. And they also
admire so much good old Stockmar’s honesty, fearlessness, and are pleased
to be shown what a dear warm-hearted old man he was. Your devoted Mama,
V. R.
January 18th.
* * * The service in Dr. Weber’s study before the open coffin, filled with
flowers, was very affecting. He was truly beloved and respected. His
sufferings must have been intense, and for many years borne heroically—not
a word said; not a complaint; always ready to bear the sorrows of others with
them, yet bearing his own unassisted! Wonderful self-command and
unselfishness! He knew his illness was fatal; even to the latter weeks
considered his days as but few, and put all in order, without letting his family
and friends know what he himself only too well foresaw.
It was a stormy afternoon with pouring rain when he was buried. Louis,
his poor boy, and many were out. * * *
We have April weather. I have a very heavy cold, and feel so weak and
done up. It is too warm and unhealthy; every place smells, our house
especially.
January 27th.
* * * My little May has such a cold, which lessens her usual smiles. She
is a fine, strong child, more like what Victoria was, but marked eyebrows,
with the fair hair and such speaking eyes. She and Aliky are a pretty
contrast!
February 14th.
You say of the drains just what I have said from year to year; and this
summer—if we can get away in the spring, when it is most unwholesome—
what can be done is to be done, and I hope with better success than what has
hitherto been attempted.
My little May cannot get rid of her cough, though she looks pink and
smiling. I shall be so glad to show her to you—she is so pretty and dear.
My father-in-law has for the first time got the gout in his feet, and is so
depressed. Uncle Louis suffers dreadfully from oppression at night, so that
he can’t remain in bed. He is a good deal aged, and stoops dreadfully. * * *
March 14th.
Louis gave me a dreadful fright last week by suddenly breaking through
the ice, and at a very deep place. He laid his arms over the thicker ice, and
managed to keep above water till some one was near enough to help him out.
He said the water drew immensely, and he feared getting under the ice. The
gentleman, who is very tall, lay down and stretched his arms out to Louis,
another man holding the former: and so he got out without ill effects. As it
was at Kranichstein, he undressed and rubbed himself before the stove in the
Verwalter’s [land-steward’s] room; and he came home in the Verwalter’s
clothes, which looked very funny. * * *
Marlborough House, May 15th.
I did not half thank you yesterday for our pleasant visit. I could not trust
myself to speak. I felt leaving you again so much. It has been a great
happiness to me, so wohlthuend [doing me so much good] to have been with
you, and I can never express what I feel, as I would, nor how deep and
tender my love and gratitude to you are! The older I grow, the more precious
the Verhältniss [relation] to a mother becomes to me, and how doubly so to
you!
Louis feels as I do; his love to you has always been as to his own mother;
and my tears begin to run when I recall your dear face and voice, which to
see and hear again has seemed so natural, so—as it ought to be! that it is
quite difficult to accustom myself to the thought that only in memory can I
enjoy them now.
How I do love you, sweet Mama! There is no sacrifice I would not make
for you! and as our meetings are of late years so fleeting and far between,
when they are over I feel the separation very much. * * *
Marlborough House, June 15th.
* * * God bless you, my precious Mother, watch over and guard you; and
let your blessing and motherly interest accompany us and our children!
Louis’ tenderest love; many, many kisses from all children, and William’s
respectful duty!
Kranichstein, June 20th.
* * * All Victoria and Ella tell me of their stay at Balmoral—the many
things you gave them and their people—touches me so much: let me thank
you so many times again. I feel I did not half say enough, but you know how
much I feel it!
Our journey did very well; no one was ill, after that dreadful storm—a
piece of luck. You are now again at Windsor. How much I think of you and
of dear Beatrice!
July 10th.
* * * We got home from Carlsruhe at eleven o’clock last night. We went
there on Thursday; arrived at two; were received there by Fritz and Louise
and the Emperor; found dear Marie Leiningen and Hermann and Leopoldine
there. Fritz W. arrived half an hour afterwards from Vienna, having met with
a railway accident in the night; but he was, thank God, unhurt—barely
shaken.
It was frightfully hot! Family dinner at five; then a drive about the town,
which was decked with flags. At nine in the evening a large soirée and
continual circle! and supper—such a heat! At eight next morning in gala,
church service. Fritz (son) for the first time in uniform with the Black Eagle;
then at ten a very fine parade, in which Fritz marched past as second
lieutenant with his regiment. The troops were so fine; the Emperor led his
own regiment past, and it was a very moving sight, with a great deal of
cheering. At two there was a large banquet, at which Fritz made a beautiful
speech, and the Emperor a very good answer.
All Fritz’s (son) former school-fellows, and the different schools and
masters, came by in procession, and the day was very fatiguing. He is such a
good boy. His former tutor, who finished his task of education yesterday,
said to me: “Er ist ein guter Mensch und die Wahrheit selber” [He is a good
man, and truth itself]. He was very self-possessed, modest, and civil, talking
to every one. He is full of promise, and has been carefully and lovingly
brought up by his parents, who are such excellent people. I have the greatest
regard for them.
I told the Emperor the fright we had about the war. He was much
distressed, that any one could believe him capable of such a thing; but our
Fritz and Fritz of Baden agree that, with Bismarck, in spite of the nation not
wishing it, he might bring about a war at any moment. Our Fritz spoke so
justly and reasonably—quite anti-war—and I told him all the opinions I had
gathered and heard in London; and he was much grieved and worried, I
could see; but it must and can be prevented, if all are against it, I am sure.
This enormous and splendid army, ready at any moment, is a dangerous
possession for any country. * * *
Kranichstein, October 7th.
* * * To-day my eyes will not remain dry; the recollection of five years
ago, which brought us joy and promise of more in our sweet second boy, is
painful in the extreme. The sudden ending of that young life; the gap this has
left; the recollections that are now but to be enjoyed in silent memory, will
leave a heart-ache and a sore place, beside where there is much happiness
and cause for gratitude. The six children and we, with endless flowers and
tears, decked his little grave this morning, and some sad lines of Byron’s
struck me as having much truth in the pain of such moments—
The weather is fine; it was much like this five years ago, but round Metz
it rained. Louis was turning into quarters with his troops from a sortie, and
he called the news out to the regiments as he rode along, and they gave a
cheer for their little Prince!
It was a dreadful time of trial and separation for both of us, and Frittie
was such a comfort and consolation to me in all my loneliness.
How sorry I am for poor Alix at this long separation![128] For her sake I
grieve at the impossibility of her accompanying him.
We hope to get back to our house by the 19th, though there will be an end
of nice walks for the next eight months—the town grows so, and is all
railroad and coal heaps where we had our walks formerly, and the town
pavement in the streets is most unpleasant walking. * * *
Schloss Kranichstein, October 16th.
For your dear letter and for the inclosures I am so grateful, but distressed
beyond measure at dear Fannie’s [Lady Frances Baillie]. I had a long letter
from her some weeks back, when she was more hopeful about dear Augusta
[Stanley]. This is too much sorrow for them all! Fannie I loved as a sister,
and dear Augusta’s devotion and self-sacrifice to you, and even to us in those
dreadful years, was something rare and beautiful. Her whole soul and heart
were in the duty, which to her was a sacred one. The good, excellent Dean!
My sympathy is so great with these three kind and good people so sorely
tried. I grieve for you too! God help them!
October 26th.
How sorry I am for dear good old Mrs. Brown and for her sons.[129]
Please say something sympathizing from me; her blindness is such a trial,
poor soul, at that age. How gloomily life must close for her!
1876.
Although this new year brought no actual change to the usual routine of
the daily life in the Princess’ home, and although the Princess was able to
fulfil her social duties, traces of serious illness now began to show
themselves by repeated attacks of exhaustion and weakness. These attacks
were partially relieved by a short stay in the Black Forest in June, and by a
visit to England and Scotland, which she made without her husband. The
Prince had been detained in Germany by the great manœuvres, on the
conclusion of which he fetched her from England, in the autumn. On their
way back to Darmstadt they stopped at Brussels. They also visited Coblenz,
to pay their respects to the Empress of Germany, who had been to see their
children at Darmstadt in October.
January 18th, 1876.
No words can express how deep my sympathy and grief is for what our
dear Augusta and the Dean have to go through. With her warm, large heart,
which ever lived and suffered for others, how great must her pain be in
having to leave him! I can positively think of nothing else lately, as you
know my love for Augusta, the General [her brother, General Bruce], and
Fanny has always been great; and when I think back of them in former
times, and in the year 1861, my heart aches and my tears flow—feeling what
you and we shall lose in dear Augusta. My pity for the dear, good, kind Dean
is so deep. I sent him a few words again to-day, in the hope he may still say a
few words of love and gratitude to dear Augusta from me.
Darmstadt, January 22d.
* * * Yesterday morning Ernie came in to me and said, “Mama, I had a
beautiful dream; shall I tell you? I dreamt that I was dead and was gone up to
Heaven, and there I asked God to let me have Frittie again; and he came to
me and took my hand. You were in bed, and saw a great light, and were so
frightened, and I said, ‘It is Ernie and Frittie.’ You were so astonished! The
next night Frittie and I went with a great light to sisters.” Is it not touching?
He says such beautiful things, and has such deep poetic thought, yet with it
all so full of fun and romping.
February 9th.
* * * I am so sorry and shocked about excellent Mr. Harrison.[130] What a
loss! He was so obliging and kind always in the many commissions for us
children. Poor Kräuslach,[131] too—so sad! It is too grievous; how one well-
known face—with its many associations—after another, is called away; and
on looking back, how short a space of time they seemed to have filled!
Wolfach, June 7th.
* * * The heat here is excessive; the wild flowers covering every field are
more beautiful than I have ever seen them anywhere—such quantities of
large forget-me-nots. The streams are very much like Scotch ones; the
valleys are partly very narrow, and the hills wooded to the very top—rather
like the Thüringer Wald, but more different greens: such lovely coloring. I
admire the country so much.
Darmstadt, June 23d.
* * * How sorry I am for good, kind old Mrs. Brown—to be blind with
old age seems so hard, so cruel; but I am sure with your so loving heart you
have brightened her latter years in many kind ways. It is such a pleasure to
do any thing for the aged; one has such a feeling of respect for those who
have the experience of a long life, and are nearing the goal.
* * * Yesterday, again, the Emperor Alexander spoke to me, really
rejoicing that the political complications were clearing peacefully: “Dites à
Maman encore une fois comme cela me réjouit, et de savoir comme c’est
elle qui tient à la paix. Nous ne pouvons, nous ne voulons pas nous brouiller
avec l’Angleterre. Il faudrait être fou de penser à Constantinople ou aux
Indes!” He had tears in his eyes, and seemed so moved, as if a dreadful
weight was being lifted off; so happy for the sake of Marie, and Affie, too,
that matters were mending. He showed me after dinner the buttons you gave
him; spoke also so affectionately of Bertie. * * * I thought of you—thirty-
nine years of rule not to be envied, save for the service one can render one’s
country and the world in general in such an arduous position.
Private individuals are, of course, far the best off—our privileges being
more duties than advantages—and their absence would be no privation
compared to the enormous advantage of being one’s own master, and of
being on equality with most people, and able to know men and the world as
they are, and not merely as they please to show themselves to please us.
***
Darmstadt, July 5th.
* * * We dined with Uncle Louis, the Emperor, etc., and Grand Duke of
Weimar, at Seeheim yesterday. The Emperor said he had written to you, but
Prince Gortschakoff seemed only half-happy, and said to me: “Franchement
puis-je vous le dire, je désirerais voir l’Angleterre grande, forte, décidée
dans la politique, comme l’était Canning et les grands hommes d’état que
j’ai connus en Angleterre il y a quarante ans. La Russie est grande et forte;
que l’Angleterre le soit aussi; nous n’avons pas besoin de faire attention à
tous les petits.” He said we made our foreign policy and despatches for the
Blue Book, and not an open decided policy before the House of Commons
and the world. It may interest you to hear this opinion, as it shows the
temper of his policy.
September 5th.
It is long since I have felt such pain as the death (to me really sudden and
unexpected, in spite of the danger inherent in her case) of my good, devoted,
kind Emily[132] has caused me. My tears won’t cease. Louis, the children,
the whole household, all mourn and grieve with me. She was singularly
beloved, and richly deserved to be so! Her devotion and affection to me
really knew no bounds. I cannot think what it will be to miss her. I have
never been served as she served me, and probably never shall be so again. It
is a wrench that only those can estimate who knew her well—like poor Mary
Hardinge. She came first in Emily’s heart, and the loss for her is quite, QUITE
irreparable! Had I but seen dear Emily again! This sudden, cruel sort of
death shocks me so.
How I should have nursed and comforted her had I been near her! She
always wished this, and told me she had such a fear of death. There never
breathed a more unselfish, generous, good character.
September 6th.
* * * I fear you will find me so dull, tired, and useless. I can do next to
nothing of late, and must rest so much. Poor Emily! My thoughts never leave
her. I cannot yet get accustomed to the thought of her loss.
P. S.—Just received your dear note. The accounts of my dear Emily’s sad
end have just reached me, and I am terribly upset. You can hardly estimate
the gap, the blank she will leave—my only lady, and in many ways homme
d’affaires. We had been so much together this last waiting; every thing
reminds me of her, and of the touching love she bore me. Surely some years
more she would have lived.
Darling Mama, I don’t think you quite know how far from well I am, and
how absurdly wanting in strength. I only mention it, that you should know
that until the good air has set me up I am good for next to nothing; and I fear
I sha’n’t be able to come to dinner the first evenings. I hope you won’t mind.
I have never in my life been like this before. I live on my sofa, and in the air,
and see no one, and yet go on losing strength! Of course this unexpected
shock has done me harm too, and has entailed more sad things. * * *
Douglas’ Hotel, Edinburgh, Sunday, September 11th.
* * * I hear Ernie is still so dull and melancholy at missing me; he always
feels it most, with that tender loving heart of his. God preserve and guard
this to me so inexpressibly precious child! I fancy that seldom a mother and
child so understood each other, and loved each other, as we two do. It
requires no words; he reads in my eyes, as I do in his, what is in his little
heart.
It is so wonderfully still here, not a soul in the streets. The people of the
house have sent up several times to enquire when and to what church I was
going; so I shall go, as it seems to shock them, one’s staying away. I shall
see the Monument this afternoon, and go and see Holyrood again. The whole
journey here brought back with the well-remembered scenery the
recollection of my childhood, all the happy journeys with dear Papa and you.
How the treasured remembrance, with the deep love, lives on, when all else
belongs to the past!
I seem, in returning here, so near you and him in former happy years,
when my home was in this beloved country. No home in the world can quite
become what the home of one’s parents and childhood was. There is a
sacredness about it, a feeling of gratitude and love for the great mercies one
had there. You, who never left country, Geschwister [kindred], or home, can
scarcely enter into this feeling.
In the hopes of meeting you soon, kissing your dear hands, with thanks
for all goodness, and many excuses for having caused so much trouble. * * *
Buckingham Palace, October 19th.
I was so sad at parting with you yesterday. I could not half thank you for
all your love and kindness during those weeks. But you know how deeply I
feel it; how truly grateful I am to you; how happy and contented I am to be
allowed to be near you as in old days. Darling Mama, once more, thousand
thanks for all and for every thing!
The journey went quite well, and I am not particularly tired.
Buckingham Palace, November 19th.
Thousand thanks for your dear letter received this morning! I feel leaving
dear England, as always, though the pleasure of being near the dear children
again is very great.
Let me thank you once more from my heart, darling Mama, for all your
great kindness, and for having enabled me to do what was thought necessary
and best. I return so much stronger and better than I came, in every way—
refreshed by the pleasant stay in dear Balmoral with you, and then much
better for the time here. I feel morally refreshed, too, with the entire change,
the many interests to be met with here, which is always so beneficial, and
will help me in every way when I get back to Darmstadt. All this I have to
thank you for, and do so most warmly.
Louis, who, as you know, is full of love and affection for you, is very
grateful for your kind words, and has likewise derived profit and enjoyment
from his stay in England.
* * * My color and strength have so much returned, that I do not doubt
being well again this winter.
I went with Dean Stanley to see Mr. Carlyle, who was most interesting,
and talked for nearly an hour. Had I had time, I would have written down the
conversation. The Dean said he would try and do so.
With Louise I visited Mr. Motley also, who in his way is equally
interesting, and has a great charm. * * *
Darmstadt, November 26th.
Many thanks for your last letter from Balmoral, received yesterday
morning! I know you feel leaving the dear place, but without going away
there is no Wiedersehen [meeting again]. The happiness of our meeting with
the dear children was very great on all sides—they eat me up!
They had made wreaths over the doors, and had no end of things to tell
me. We arrived at three, and there was not a moment’s rest till they were all
in bed, and I had heard the different prayers and hymns of the six, with all
the little different confidences they had to make. My heart was full of joy
and gratitude at being with them once more, and I prayed God to make me
fit to be their real friend and stay as long as they require me, and to have the
insight into their different characters to guide them aright, and to understand
their different wants and feelings. This is so difficult always.
Victoria is immensely grown, and her figure is forming. She is changing
so much—beginning to leave the child and grow into the girl. I hear she has
been good and desirous of doing what is right; and she has more to contend
with than Ella, therefore double merit in any thing she overcomes, and any
self-sacrifice she makes.
Ernie is very well, and his birthday was a great delight. Sweet little May
is enchanting,—“my weet heart,” as she calls me. Aliky is very handsome
and dear.
Darmstadt, December 12th.
I see this letter will just arrive on the 14th—day never to be forgotten!
How deeply it is graven in my heart—with letters of blood; for the pain of
losing him, and of witnessing your grief, was as sharp as any thing any child
can go through for its beloved parents. Yet God’s mercy is to be found
through all, and one learns to say “Thy will be done,” hard though it is. * * *
1877.
The health of Prince Charles of Hesse (father of Prince Louis) had for
some time past given cause for great anxiety. He had always suffered from
violent headaches and a delicate throat. On the evening of the 11th of March
he was seized with erysipelas, and died peacefully on the 20th. The Princess
shared the grief of her mother-in-law and family most truly; for Prince
Charles, though outwardly shy and retiring, was a man of great cultivation
and refinement, and had made himself beloved by all who knew him. He
was buried in the Mausoleum at the Rosenhöhe on the 24th of March. The
Grand Duke, who was deeply affected by his brother’s death, and all the
family were present.
A month had scarcely passed since Prince Charles’ death, when the Grand
Duke himself was attacked by serious illness at Seeheim, one of his summer
residences, near Darmstadt, and died on the 13th of June at the age of
seventy-one.
Prince Louis was the next heir, and ascended the throne as Grand Duke
Louis IV.
The total change of circumstances, the heavy duties and responsibilities
of her new position, came most unexpectedly upon the Princess, and she
scarcely felt herself equal to them. With her well-known conscientiousness
and high feeling of duty it was not surprising that they weighed heavily upon
her, more especially as her health had of late become very delicate. Still, the
hope of being able to carry out many a plan for the welfare of her adopted
country encouraged her greatly.
After the official receptions held by the Grand Duke and Grand Duchess
were over, they left Darmstadt for the quiet little watering-place of Houlgate,
in Normandy. The Grand Duke was only able to accompany the Grand
Duchess as far as Metz, but he followed her later on with the children. The
rest and quiet were good for them all; and, apparently much improved in
health, the Grand Duchess returned for the first time as “mother of the
country” [Landesmutter] to Darmstadt. Her reception was of the warmest
and most enthusiastic nature, which she took as a good omen for the future.
The Emperor of Germany and the Crown Prince visited Darmstadt at the
end of September, for the purpose of assisting at the cavalry manœuvres, to
the great satisfaction of the country.
The change in Princess Alice’s position in no wise affected her relations
to her many charitable institutions, though she had, of course, many new
responsibilities thrown upon her. Her constant endeavor was to be just and
free from prejudice, to recognize what was good, no matter where, and to
promote and further it to the best of her power.
The Grand Duke and Grand Duchess saw much of the Crown Prince and
Crown Princess of Germany during the latter part of the year, as they were
living at Wiesbaden.
Fräulein Louise Büchner, who had been for ten years so intimately
connected with the Grand Duchess, not only as working with her for the
good of others, but also by ties of the truest friendship, died on the 28th of
November. Her death caused a gap which was sorely felt. A few days before
her death, when she was already confined to her bed, she received a letter
from the Grand Duchess herself, on the occasion of the tenth anniversary of
the opening of the “Alice Bazaar,” thanking her for all she had done.
The Grand Duchess had caused many of the pamphlets written by Miss
Octavia Hill to be translated, in the hopes of encouraging in Darmstadt the
authorities, and those at the head of private undertakings, to further exertions
for improving the condition of the poor.
Whilst in England she had become acquainted with Miss Octavia Hill,
“the warm-hearted friend of the poor,” and had visited with her many of the
poorer parts of London. She felt the sincerest admiration and respect for
Miss Hill, and entirely shared her view, “that we must become the friends of
the poor to be their benefactors.” The Grand Duchess did not wish to copy
exactly in Germany what Miss Hill had done in London: but she hoped that
the knowledge of what had been done in other places would be an incentive
to work in the same direction.
At the beginning of this year the Grand Duchess had visited in strictest
incognito the worst houses (in sanitary respects) in Mayence, and
determined to make a plan for the erection of new dwellings for the working
classes there.
Darmstadt, January 1st.
* * * How beautifully Max Müller’s letter[133] is written and expressed,
and how touchingly and truly he puts the point of view on which we all
should learn to stand. To become again pure as children, with a child’s faith
and trust—there where our human intellect will ever stand still!
I have been reading some of Robertson’s sermons again, and I think his
view of Christianity one of the truest, warmest, and most beautiful I know.
***
Darmstadt, March 23d.
Thank you so much for your dear and sympathizing letter. These have
been most painful—most distressing days—so harrowing.
The recollections of 1861, of dear Frittie’s death, when my dear father-in-
law was so tender and kind, were painfully vivid. My mother-in-law’s
resignation and touching goodness, doing all that she could during the illness
and since for all arrangements, is very beautiful!
The poor sons gave way to bursts of tears during those agonizing hours;
yet they held their father alternately with me, and were quiet and helpful for
their mother and for him, just as their simple, quiet natures teach them. I
begged Bäuerlein to write to you meanwhile. I am feeling so exhausted, and
there is so much to do, and we are always going from one house to the other.
It was heart-rending from Monday morn till Tuesday eve to see the
painful alteration in the dear well-known features augmenting from hour to
hour, though I believe he did not suffer latterly. He was not conscious, unless
spoken to, or called very directly.
My mother-in-law never left his bedside day or night, and we were only a
few hours absent on Monday night. Before we went home she called our
names distinctly to him as we kissed him, and he seemed to notice it; then
she knelt down, and distinctly, but choked with tears, prayed the Lord’s
Prayer for him, calling him gently.
The next day at six we were there again, and till half past six in the
evening never left the bedside. She repeated occasionally, as long as she
thought he might hear, a short verse—so touching! and once said: “Bist Du
traurig? es ist ja nicht auf lange, dann sind wir wieder zusammen!” [“Art
thou sad? It is not for long, and then we shall be together again”] kissing and
stroking his hands. It was very distressing.
When all was over we four were close to her, and she threw herself on
him, and then clasped her sons to her heart with words of such grief as you
so well understand!
Early the next morning we went with her to his room. He lay on his bed,
very peaceful, in his uniform. Louis had clasped the hands together when he
died, and I arranged flowers on the bed and in the room round him.
There is a terrible deal to do and to arrange, and many people come, and
we are much with my poor mother-in-law. Yesterday we went for the last
time to see the remains of what had been so precious. She read a “Lied” [a
hymn], and then kissed him so long, and took with us the last look.
Yesterday evening the coffin was closed in presence of the sons.
We are going to the Rosenhöhe [the Mausoleum] now, before going to
Louis’ mother, to put things straight there, and see if one can get by dear
Frittie—it is so small.
The three brothers are dreadfully upset, but able to arrange and see after
what is necessary. Aunt Marie [the Empress of Russia] wanted to come, and
is in terrible distress; she loved that brother beyond any thing. In her last
letter to my mother-in-law she says: “Ich habe solche Sehnsucht nach dem
alten Bruder” [“I have such a yearning after my old brother”].
His was a singularly delicate-minded, pure, true, unselfish nature, so full
of consideration for others, so kind. My tears flow incessantly, for I loved
him very dearly.
My dear mother-in-law has such a broken, ruined existence now—all
turned round him! She knows where to find strength and comfort—it will
not fail her. * * *
Darmstadt, June 7th.
* * * We are going through a dreadful ordeal. The whole of Monday and
Monday night, with a heat beyond words, dreading the worst. Now there has
been a slight rally.[134] Whether it will continue to-morrow is doubtful. He is
always conscious, makes his little jokes, but the pulse is very low and
intermits. I was there early this morning with Louis. * * *
The questions, long discussions between Louis and some people, as to
complication and difficulty of every kind that will at once fall upon us, are
really dreadful, and I so unfit just now! The confusion will be dreadful. * * *
I am so dreading every thing, and above all the responsibility of being the
first in every thing, and people are not bienveillant.
I shall send you news whenever I can, but I am so worn out. I shall not be
able to do so much myself.
I know your thoughts and wishes are with us at so hard a time. God grant
we may do all aright! * * *
Telegrams.
June 7th.
Going to Seeheim, as great weakness has come on. Am much tired by all
that lies before us, and not feeling well.
Seeheim, 13th.
Dear Uncle Louis is no more. We arrived too late.
Darmstadt, 6.20 o’clock, 13th.
Such press of business and decisions. Feel very tired.
15th.
We are both so over-tired; the press of business and decisions is so
wearing, with the new responsibility.
18th.
Last ceremony over! All went off well, and was very moving.
Alice.
Darmstadt, June 19th.
Only two words of thanks from both of us for your kind wishes and
letters! Christian and Colonel Gardiner bring you news of every thing that
has been and is still going on. But we are overwhelmed, over-tired, and the
heat is getting very bad again.
* * * Will tell you what a very difficult position we are in. It is too
dreadful to think that I am forced to leave Louis in a few weeks under
present circumstances, but, if he wishes to keep me at all, I must leave every
thing and this heat for a time. These next weeks here will be very anxious
and difficult. God grant we may do the right things!
June 28th.
* * * To have to go away just now, when the refreshment of family life is
so doubly pleasant to Louis after his work, I am too sorry for. If I were only
better; if I only thought that I shall have the chance of rest, and what is
necessary to regain my health! Now it will be more difficult than ever, and I
see Louis has the fear, which I also have, that I shall not hold out very long.
July 15th.
* * * I leave on Tuesday, but stop on the way. The children go direct and
join me in Paris, when we go on together on Friday or Saturday to Houlgate.
The trains don’t fit, and one has some way to drive from Trouville.
Houlgate, July 25th.
* * * This place is quite charming—real country, so green, so picturesque
—a beautiful coast; the nicest sea-place I have been at yet. Our house is
“wee” for so many, and the first days it was very noisy; and it was so dirty.
The maids and nurses had to scrub and sweep; the one French housemaid
was not up to it. All is better now, and quite comfortable enough. The air is
doing me good, and the complete change. I have bathed twice, and the sea
revives me.
I follow as eagerly as any in England the advance of the Russians, and
with cordial dislike. They can never be redressers of wrongs or promoters of
civilization and Christianity. What I fear is, even if they don’t take
Constantinople, and make no large demands as the price of their victories
now, the declaration of the independence of Bulgaria will make that country
to them in future what Roumania has been for Russia now, and therefore in
twenty years hence they will get all they want, unless the other Powers at
this late hour can bring about a change. It is bad for England, for Austria, for
Germany, if this Russian Slav element should preponderate in Europe; and
the other countries must sooner or later act against this in self-preservation.
What do the friends of the “Atrocity Meetings” say now? How difficult it
has been made for the Government through them, and how blind they have
been! All this must be a constant worry and anxiety for you!
The children are so happy here—the sea does them such good. I am very
glad I brought them.
Houlgate, July 28th.
* * * Though we have rain off and on, still the weather is very pleasant,
and we are all of us charmed with the place, and the beautiful, picturesque,
fertile country. The life is so pleasant—real country—which I have never yet
found at any bathing-place abroad yet. I have bathed every other day—
swim, and it does me good. I feel it already. Ella is getting her color back,
and the little ones look much better.
I send you the last photos done of the children; Ella’s is not favorable, nor
Irène’s, but all in all they are a pretty set. May has not such fat cheeks in
reality; still it is very dear. The two little girlies are so sweet, so dear, merry,
and nice. I don’t know which is dearest, they are both so captivating.
I have been to an old tumble-down church at Dives—close by here—
where William the Conqueror is said to have been before starting for
England. His name and those of all his followers are inscribed there—names
of so many families now existing in England. It was very interesting.
August 22d.
* * * How difficult it is to know one’s children well; to develop and train
the characters according to their different peculiarities and requirements!
***
Darmstadt, September 9th.
* * * I must tell you now, how very heartily and enthusiastically the
whole population, high and low, received us yesterday. It was entirely
spontaneous, and, as such, of course, so very pleasing. * * * I was really
touched, for it rained, and yet all were so joyous—flags out, bells ringing,
people bombarding us with beautiful nosegays; all the schools out, even the
higher ones, the girls all dressed in white. The Kriegerverein, Louis’ old
soldiers, singing, etc. In the evening all the Gesangvereine joined together
and sang under our windows.
We are very glad to be at home again, and, please God, with earnest will
and thought for others, we together shall in our different ways be able to live
for the good of the people entrusted to our care! May God’s blessing rest on
our joint endeavors to do the best, and may we meet with kindness and
forbearance where we fall short of our duties.
Darmstadt, October 30th.
* * * I had to receive sixty-five ladies—amongst them my nurses—and
some doctors from here and other towns, all belonging to my Nursing
Society, which has now existed ten years. Then I was at the opening of my
Industrial Girls’ School, where girls from all parts of the country come, and
which is a great success. I started it two years ago. On Sunday I took the
children to hear the Sunday-school, which interested them very much.
I have been doing too much lately, though, and my nerves are beginning
to feel the strain, for sleep and appetite are no longer good. Too much is
demanded of one; and I have to do with so many things. It is more than my
strength can stand in the long run. * * *
December 13th.
For to-morrow, as ever, my tenderest sympathy! Time shows but more
and more what we all lost in beloved Papa; and the older I grow, the more
people I know, the more the remembrance of him shines bright as a star of
purer lustre than any I have ever known. May but a small share of his light
fall on some of us, who have remained so far beneath him, so little worthy of
such a father! We can but admire, reverence, long to imitate, and yet not
approach near to what he was.
We are going with the children to-day to Wiesbaden until Saturday; and I
mean to tell Vicky that she had better give up the hope of my being able to
come for the wedding.[135] I could not do it. I only trust the why will be
understood. Do write to the dear Empress about it when next you write. How
sorry I am to be absent at a moment when, as sister and a German
Sovereign’s wife, I should be there; but the doctor would not hear of it, so I
gave it up. * * *
Darmstadt, December 21st.
* * * You say all that happened after the dreadful 14th is effaced from
your memory. How well I can imagine that! I remember saying my utmost to
Sir Charles Phipps in remonstrance to your being wished to leave Windsor—
it was so cruel, so very wrong. Uncle Leopold insisted; it all came from him,
and he was alarmed lest you should fall ill.
How you suffered was dreadful to witness; never shall I forget what I
went through for you then; it tore my heart in pieces; and my own grief was
so great too. Louis thought I would not hold to my engagement then any
more—for my heart was too filled with beloved, adored Papa, and with your
anguish, to have room or wish for other thoughts.
God is very merciful in letting time temper the sharpness of one’s grief,
and letting sorrow find its natural place in our hearts, without withdrawing
us from life!
THE END.
1878.
“Life is serious—a journey to another end.” (December 12, 1874.)
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