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John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Copyright © 2012 by Scott Stratten. All rights reserved

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise,
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Stratten, Scott.
The Book of Business Awesome: How Engaging Your Customers and Employees Can Make
Your Business Thrive / Scott Stratten.
ISBN: 978-1-118-31522-4 (cloth)
ISBN: 978-1-118-31545-3 (ebk)
ISBN: 978-1-118-31546-0 (ebk)
ISBN: 978-1-118-31547-7 (ebk)
1. Relationship marketing. 2. Customer relations. 3. Management. I. Title.
HF5415.55
658.8 12–dc23
2012010353
Printed in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
 Contents
Awesome Acknowledgments ix

1 How One Man Changed a Billion-Dollar Brand 1

2 Marketing Is a Verb 4

3 Companies Aren’t Awesome; People Are 7

4 Remarry Your Current Customers 11

5 The Sun Rises Online 14

6 Sporting Event Awesome 17

7 I Think Geeks Rule 20

8 DKNY 4 U 2 24

9 PR Stands for People React 27

10 The Red Cross Is Getting Slizzerd 30

11 Grand Rapids Serves Up Some Humble Pie 34

12 The One Thing More Delicious Than Ice Cream 36

13 How to Apologize to a Woman 40

14 How to Ship Out Your Reputation, and Then Return It 42

15 You Can’t Ignore What You Hate 44

16 The Only Good Use for QR Codes 46

v
vi Contents

17 Benefit of the Brand Doubt 48

18 How to Spice Up an Old Brand 51

19 How Manya Made Vegas Awesome 53

20 Fractional Reaction 56

21 Third Circle 58

22 Reflecting on Awesome 62

23 Part Man, Part Machine, All Crowdfunded 65

24 The Social Media ROI Conversation 68

25 Before Social ROI 71

26 Connect Outside Your Field of Vision 74

27 Peripheral Referrals 76

28 7 Dollars and an iROI, Lessons in Social Return on

Investment 78

29 30 Tips for Speakers 81

30 Rocking a Panel 87

31 Shedding Some Social Pounds 90

32 You Don’t Need the Man If You Are the Man:

Why I Love Louis CK 92

33 The Hall of Fame 95

34 Mr. Happy Crack 97

35 Pimp My Lift 100

 Contents vii

36 Nightmares 102

37 An Awesome Sweatband 111

38 Moncton Snowblower 114

39 Calgary Philharmonic 118

40 A Unicorn Fighting a Bear 120

41 Awesome End 122

 Awesome Acknowledgments

Inspired by ‘‘Here’s to the Misfits’’ campaign for Apple.

Here’s to the misfits.

The entrepreneurs. The lone wolves in companies. The ones who
believe businesses are built on relationships, not interruptions. To the
ones who realize social is what social media is all about.
To the brave souls who would never cold-call or mislead just to
gain a dollar. To the business start-ups who build their companies on
the belief alone that they can do it.
The ones who realize that to have an awesome business you have
to be awesome yourself.
This book is for you.

ix
 1
How One Man Changed a
Billion-Dollar Brand

Every employee is your brand ambassador, your marketer, and the face
of your company.

I was in Hartford at the Hilton Garden Inn, on stop number eight

of my 30-city UnBook Tour to promote UnMarketing, Stop Marketing,
Start Engaging. The tour was amazing, but it also meant that I was
living on airplanes and in hotels.
I rolled out of bed and headed downstairs for breakfast around
9:45 am. Did I mention I’m not a morning person? It’s actually one
of the great problems I have in life: I love breakfast, and I hate
mornings. The lobby had a breakfast buffet, and I’m not talking about
the ‘‘continental’’ breakfast that most hotels throw in as a bonus with
some Danish and something that resembles juice. This was a full spread
of eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, cereal, bagels, you name it. I
was pretty impressed with myself for being up in time for this feast,
especially after crossing the continent the day before.

1
2 The Book of Business Awesome

I told the chef that I’d like eggs, bacon, sausage, and hash browns
(shut it, foodies); grabbed a juice; and took a seat. As soon as I sat
down, I noticed they turned off the lights around the buffet. Score! I
got there just in time.
Apparently not.
I dug in to my food, and it was bad. Old and cold. A bad
combination for anything in life, let alone breakfast meats. I forced
down some bacon, and after testing each of the other items, I couldn’t
continue. The waitress walked over with my bill and placed it on the
table, without saying a word.
Most of the time in situations like these, what do we do? We take
out our phones and share our bad experiences with the world, all the
while quietly accepting them in real life. Most people would just allow
this to happen and walk away, but I called her over. If I owned this
business, I would want to know if something was up.
‘‘Hi, the food was really bad. It was cold and old.’’
She just looked at me, not knowing what to do, and mentally took
out the customer service playbook and said the ‘‘right’’ thing.
‘‘I’ll go get the manager.’’
And she walked away. I never asked for the manager or to have the
bill taken care of. The manager came over and was nice and offered to
have the chef make an omelet or something special for me. I declined,
letting him know I really wasn’t hungry anymore. I explained to him
that I wasn’t looking for a freebie but thought he needed to know. He
picked up the bill and said they’d take care of it and apologized again.
This is where the customer service ‘‘apology’’ usually ends for 99.9
percent of businesses in the hospitality industry. Really, to be great at
customer service, you need to be only mediocre, because everyone else
sucks.
But not here.
The sous-chef, Forbes, ran out, stopped me from walking out, and
looked shaken. Not in a shaken way like he’d been chewed out by
anyone, but a sincere look of being upset. Did I mention he was about
6 foot 4 inches and 220 pounds? And that he ran at me? I have to
admit, for a moment there, I regretted giving my feedback at all . . . .
He caught up to me and said, ‘‘Sir, I’m terribly sorry about your
food this morning. A few things—although not excuses, we didn’t
know until we were cleaning up that the water underneath the food
 How One Man Changed a Billion-Dollar Brand 3

trays that keeps everything warm was gone, hence the food was cold.
And I also should have never given you the food that was sitting out
that long; I could have made you something fresh right there, but I
thought you looked like you were in a hurry. Regardless, I’m terribly
sorry; this is not how we operate, and we’d like another chance to
make it up to you.’’
Wow.
This guy gave a damn that a guest had a subpar experience and he
needed to make it right. We can’t stop screwups, only how we remedy
them. And the solution usually isn’t hard. Most people who complain
just want to feel validated, able to walk away feeling that someone has
heard and understood them.
I didn’t threaten to ‘‘tweet about it’’ or use ‘‘Do you know who I
think I am?’’ I was just another person staying at the hotel. He could
have simply talked about how much of a moron I was to his coworkers
or brushed it off by saying, ‘‘You can’t please everyone.’’ He truly cared
that they screwed up. He owned it. He changed my view of the Hilton
Garden Inn and the Hilton overall. And he didn’t have to.
To me, Forbes is the Hilton. Not their mission statement or logo.
Every employee is your brand ambassador, your marketer, and the
face of your company. Employees make a difference. Forbes made a
difference for a billion–dollar hotel brand to me.
As I walked away and headed back up to my room he said, ‘‘I’d like
to make this right.’’
And my reply was, ‘‘You already did.’’
Other documents randomly have
different content
The Project Gutenberg eBook of Stories of Elizabethan
heroes
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States
and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no
restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it
under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this
ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the
United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where
you are located before using this eBook.

Title: Stories of Elizabethan heroes

Stirring records of the intrepid bravery and boundless
resource of the men of Queen Elizabeth's reign

Author: Edward Gilliat

Release date: May 1, 2024 [eBook #73507]

Language: English

Original publication: London: Seeley, Service & Co. Limited, 1914

Credits: Al Haines

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STORIES OF

ELIZABETHAN HEROES ***
 STORIES OF
ELIZABETHAN HEROES
STIRRING RECORDS OF THE INTREPID BRAVERY
AND BOUNDLESS RESOURCE OF THE MEN
OF QUEEN ELIZABETH'S REIGN

BY

EDWARD GILLIAT, M.A. (Oxon.)

SOMETIME MASTER AT HARROW SCHOOL

AUTHOR OF "FOREST OUTLAWS," "HEROES OF MODERN INDIA,"

"ROMANCE OF MODERN SIEGES," &c. &c.

WITH FULL-PAGE ILLUSTRATIONS

 LONDON
SEELEY, SERVICE & CO. LIMITED
38 GREAT RUSSELL STREET
1914

UNIFORM WITH THIS VOLUME

THE RUSSELL LIBRARY

FOR
BOYS & GIRLS
A SERIES OF COPYRIGHT VOLUMES OF TRUE
STORIES OF ADVENTURE

Fully Illustrated. Extra crown 8vo, 2s. 6d. each

STORIES OF RED INDIAN ADVENTURE.

By H. W. G. HYRST, Author of "Adventures in the
Arctic Regions," &c.

STORIES OF ELIZABETHAN HEROES.

By Rev. EDWARD GILLIAT, M.A., sometime Master at
Harrow School, Author of "In Lincoln Green,"
"Heroes of the Indian Mutiny," &c., &c.

SEELEY, SERVICE & CO. LIMITED

 CONTENTS

CHAPTER I

The Elizabethan World

CHAPTER II

Sir John Hawkins, Seaman and Administrator

CHAPTER III

George Clifford, Earl of Cumberland, the Champion of the Tilt-yard

CHAPTER IV

Sir Martin Frobisher, the Explorer of the Northern Seas

CHAPTER V

Sir Humphrey Gilbert, the Founder of Newfoundland

CHAPTER VI
Lord Howard of Effingham, the Trusted of the Queen

CHAPTER VII

Sir Richard Grenville, the Hero of Flores

CHAPTER VIII

John Davis, the Hero of the Arctic and Pacific

CHAPTER IX

Francis Drake, the Scourge of Spain

CHAPTER X

Sir Francis Drake, the Queen's Greatest Seaman

CHAPTER XI

Sir Richard Hawkins, Seaman and Geographer

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
"Sir Francis" ... Coloured Frontispiece [missing from source book]

Attempt on Sir John Hawkins' Life

Fire-Ships

Capture of an Eskimo

England's First Colony

The Blowing-up of the "San Felipe"

Sir Richard Grenville and the "Revenge"

Drake captures Nombre de Dios

Angling for Albatross

PUBLISHERS' NOTE

The contents of this volume have been taken from Mr. Gilliat's larger
book entitled "Heroes of the Elizabethan Age," published at five shillings.

STORIES OF ELIZABETHAN HEROES

CHAPTER I
 THE ELIZABETHAN WORLD

Before we touch upon the lives of some of the heroes of the Maiden
Queen, it were well to consider briefly what life was like in those days, and
how it differed from our own.

When on a November day in 1558 Sir Nicholas Throckmorton spurred

his steaming horse to Hatfield, in haste to inform the Princess Elizabeth that
Queen Mary was dead, he was bidden to ride back to the Palace of St.
James's and request one of the ladies of the bedchamber to give him, if the
Queen were really dead, the black enamelled ring which her Majesty wore
night and day. So cautious had the constant fear of death made Anne
Boleyn's daughter.

Meanwhile a deputation from the Council had arrived at Hatfield to offer

to the new Queen their dutiful homage.

Elizabeth sank upon her knees and exclaimed: "A Domino factum est
istud, et est mirabile in oculis nostris" ("This is the Lord's doing, and it is
marvellous in our eyes")—a text which the Queen caused to be engraved on
her gold coins, in memory of that day of release from anxiety. For the poor
young Princess had lived for years in a state of alarm; she had been
imprisoned in the Tower, the victim of plots for and against her; she had
been kept under severe control at Woodstock under Sir Henry Bedingfeld,
where she once saw a milkmaid singing merrily as she milked the cows in
the Park, and exclaimed, "That milkmaid's lot is better than mine, and her
life far merrier."

And now on a sudden her terrors were turned into a great joy; and what
the Princess felt all England was soon experiencing, as soon as men realised
that the tyranny of Rome and of Spain was shattered and gone.

Elizabeth was now at the close of her twenty-fifth year, of striking

beauty and commanding presence, tall and comely, with a wealth of hair,
yellow tinged with red; she inherited from her mother an air of coquetry, and
her affable manners soon endeared her to her people. The English were tired
of Smithfield fires and foreign priests and princes; a new era seemed to be
dawning upon them at last—an era of freedom for soul and body; and
imagination ran riot with hope to forecast a new and happier world. The
homage of an admiring nation was stirred by her young beauty; and wild
ambition, not content with the quiet fields of England, turned adventurously
to the New World beyond the Atlantic, where men dreamed of real cities
paved with gold. It is true that the Pope had given all the great West to his
faithful daughter, Spain; but Englishmen thought they had as much right to
colonise America as any son of Spain, and they soon obtained their Queen's
leave to land and explore. But the first merchants who ventured west found
that Spanish policy forbade "Christians to trade with heretics." Nay, if they
were taken prisoners by the Spaniards they suffered the punishment of the
rack and the stake; and if they escaped, they came home with tales of cruelty
that set all England ablaze to take revenge. "Abroad, the sky is dark and
wild," writes Kingsley, "and yet full of fantastic splendour. Spain stands
strong and awful, a rising world-tyranny, with its dark-souled Cortezes and
Pizarros, Alvas, Don Johns and Parmas, men whose path is like the lava
stream: who go forth slaying and to slay in the names of their Gods.... Close
to our own shores the Netherlands are struggling vainly for their liberties:
abroad, the Western Islands, and the whole trade of Africa and India, will in
a few years be hers ... and already Englishmen who go out to trade in
Guinea, in the Azores and New Spain, are answered by shot and steel."

We know a good deal of the life in Elizabethan England from an account

written by Harrison, Household Chaplain to Lord Cobham. He was an
admirer of still older days, as we see from his complaint about improved
houses: "See the change, for when our houses were builded of willow, then
had we oaken men; but now that our houses are come to be made of oak, our
men are not only become willow, but a great manie, through Persian
delicacie crept in among us, altogether of straw, which is a sore alteration....
Now have we manie chimnies; and yet our tenderlings complain of rheumes,
catarhs and poses. Then had we none but reredosses, and our heads did never
ache. For as the smoke in those daies was supposed to be a sufficient
hardning for the timber of the house, so it was reputed a far better medicine
to keep the goodman and his family from the quake or pose."

Harrison notes how rich men were beginning to use stoves for sweating
baths, how glass was beginning to be used instead of lattice, which was
made out of wicker or rifts of oak chequer-wise, how panels of horn for
windows had been going out for beryl or fine crystal, as at Sudeley Castle.
Then for furniture, it was not rare to see abundance of arras in noblemen's
houses, with such store of silver vessels as might fill sundry cupboards.
There were three things that old men remembered to have been marvellously
changed; one was the multitude of chimneys lately erected, whereas only the
great religious houses and manor places of the lords had formerly possessed
them, but each one made his fire against a reredosse in the hall, where he
dined and dressed his meat in the smoke and smother; the second thing was
the improved bedding. Formerly folks slept on straw pallets covered only
with a sheet, and a good round log under their heads for a bolster. "As for
servants, if they had anie sheet above them, it was well, for seldom had they
any under them to keep them from the pricking straws that ran oft through
the canvas and rased their hardened hides."

The third thing was the exchange from wooden cups and platters into
pewter or tin. Now the farmers had featherbeds and carpets of tapestry
instead of straw, sometimes even silver salt-cellars and a dozen spoons of
pewter.

Harrison bewails the decay of archery, and says that all the young
fellows above eighteen wear a dagger. Noblemen wear a sword too, while
desperate cutters carry two rapiers, "wherewith in every drunken fray they
are known to work much mischief"; and as the trampers carry long staves,
the honest traveller is obliged to carry horse-pistols; for the tapsters and
ostlers are in league with the highway robbers who rob chiefly at Christmas
time, "till they be trussed up in a Tyburn tippet."

There was a proverb, "Young serving-men, old beggars," because

servants were spoilt for any other service or craft; so that the country
swarmed with idle serving-men, who often became highwaymen.

A German traveller writes of England thus: "The women there are

charming, and by nature so mighty pretty as I have scarcely ever beheld, for
they do not falsify, paint or bedaub themselves as they do in Italy or other
places, but they are some deal awkward in their style of dress; for they dress
in splendid stuffs, and many a one wears three cloth gowns, one over the
other. Then, when a stranger goeth to a citizen's house on business, or is
invited as a guest, he is received by the master of the house and the ladies
and by them welcomed: he has even a right to take them by the arm and to
kiss them, which is the custom of the country; and if any one doth not do
this, it is regarded and imputed as ignorance and ill-breeding on his part."

Erasmus, writing in 1500, after a visit to Sir Thomas More, exclaims

merrily: "There is a custom which it would be impossible to praise too
much. Wherever you go, every one welcomes you with a kiss, and the same
on bidding you farewell. You call again, when there is more kissing.... You
meet an acquaintance anywhere, you are kissed till you are tired. In short,
turn where you will, there are kisses, kisses everywhere."

It was the same before and after a dance: you bowed, or curtseyed, and
kissed your partner in all formal ceremony. So Shakespeare—

"Come unto these yellow sands,

And then take hands:
Curtseyed when you have, and kissed,
The wild waves whist" (hushed).

Another foreigner describes the English as serious, like the Germans,

liking to be followed by hosts of servants who wear their masters' arms in
silver, fastened to their left arms: they excel in music and dancing, and their
favourite sport is hawking: they are more polite than the French in eating,
devour less bread but more meat, which they roast in perfection. They put a
great deal of sugar in their drink, a habit which may account for their teeth
turning black in age. Harrison tells us that the nobles had "for cooks
musicall-headed Frenchmen, who concocted sundrie delicacies: every dish
being first taken to the greatest personage at the table."

We are told that Sir Walter Raleigh was once staying with a noble lady,
whom he heard in the morning scolding her servant and crying, "Have the
pigs been fed? have the pigs been fed?"

At eleven o'clock Master Walter came down to dinner, and could not
resist a sly remark to his hostess, "Have the pigs been fed?" The lady drew
herself up haughtily and rejoined, "You should know best, Sir Walter,
whether you have had your breakfast or no." So the laugh was turned on the
wit for once: for indeed it had become unusual for people to require any
breakfast before eleven o'clock in Queen Elizabeth's time. Formerly they had
four meals a day, consisting of breakfast, dinner, nuntion or beverage, and
supper. "Now these odd repasts," says Harrison, "thanked be God! are very
well left, and each one (except here and there some young hungrie stomach
that cannot fast till dinner-time) contenteth himself with dinner and supper
only." It was the custom at table amongst yeomen and merchants for the
guest to call for such drink as he desired, when a servant would bring him a
cup from the cupboard; but when he had tasted of it, he delivered it again to
the servant, who made it clean and restored it to the cupboard. "By this
device much idle tippling is cut off, for if the full pots should continually
stand neare the trencher, divers would be alwaies dealing with them." Yet in
the houses of the nobles it was not so, but silver goblets or glasses of Venice
graced the tables.

They were content with four or six dishes, finishing with jellies and
march-paine "wrought with no small curiosity"; potatoes, too, began to be
brought from Spain and the Indies. The best beer was usually kept for two
years and brewed in March; of light wines there were fifty-six kinds, mostly
foreign, from Italy, Greece, and Spain, clarets from France, and Malmsey
wine.

"I might here talk somewhat of the great silence that is used at the tables
of the honourable and wiser sort, likewise of the moderate eating and
drinking that is daily seen, and finally of the regard that each one hath to
keep himself from the note of surfeiting and drunkennesse."

They were a proud, self-respecting people in those spacious times, and

even the poorer sort, when they could get a time to be merry, thought it no
small disgrace if they happened to be "cup-shotten."

In regard to their dress the English at that time seem to have been
somewhat extravagant, copying first the Spanish guise, then the French,
anon the Italian or German—nay, even Turkish and Moorish fashions gained
favour; "so that except it were a dog in a doublet, you shall not see any so
disguised as are my countrymen of England."
 Our good friend Harrison waxes quite sarcastic as he describes, "What
chafing, what fretting, what reproachful language doth the poor workman
bear away! ... Then must we put it on, then must the long seams of our hose
be set by a plumb-line: then we puff, then we blow, and finally sweat till we
drop, that our clothes may stand well upon us."

It became the fashion for ladies to dye their hair yellow out of
compliment to the Queen, who however in her later years used wigs, and
was reputed to have a choice of eighty attires of false hair.

In 1579 the Queen gave her command to the Privy Council to prevent
excesses of apparel, and it was ordered that "No one shall use or wear such
excessive long cloaks; being in common sight monstrous." Neither were they
to wear such high ruffs of cambric about their necks as were growing
common, both with men and women. Quilted doublets, curiously slashed,
and lined with figured lace, Venetian hose and stockings of the finest black
yarn, with shoes of white leather, betokened the courtier, the clank of whose
gilded spurs announced his coming.

In regard to weapons, the long-bow had gone out of use, but they shot
with the caliver, a clumsy musket with a short butt, and handled the pike
with dexterity. Corslets and shirts of mail still remained; every village could
furnish forth three or four soldiers, as one archer, one gunner, one pikeman,
and a bill-man. As to artillery, the falconet weighed five hundred pounds,
with a diameter of two inches at the mouth; the culverin weighed four
thousand pounds, having a diameter of five inches and a half; the cannon
weighed seven thousand, and the basilisk nine thousand pounds.

In 1582 Queen Elizabeth had twenty-five great ships of war, the largest
being of 1000 tons burden, besides three galleys: there were 135 ships that
exceeded 500 tons, which could fight at a pinch, for many private owners
possessed ships of their own.

A man-of-war in those days was well worth two thousand pounds, and
"it is incredible to say how greatly her Grace was delighted with her fleet."
After all, it is the men that count most, and the men of that day were as full
of good courage as the best of us.
 On the Continent they had a saying that "England is a paradise for
women, a prison for servants, and a purgatory for horses"; for the females
had more liberty in England than on the Continent, and were almost like
masters; while the servants could not escape from England without a
passport, and the poor horses were worked all too hard.

For instance, when the Queen broke up her Court to go on progress,

there commonly followed her more than three hundred carts laden with bag
and baggage. For you must know that in Tudor England, besides coaches,
they used no waggons for their goods, but had only two-wheeled carts,
which were so large that they could carry quite as much as waggons, and as
many as five or six horses were needed to draw them.

In those days they knew full well what deep ruts could do in the way of
lowering speed, and the jaded horses must sometimes have thought that they
were pulling a plough, and not a coach.

Fynes Moryson, a traveller, gives a pleasant account of his journeyings:

"The world affords not such Innes as England hath, either for good and
cheap entertainment after the guests' own pleasure, or for humble attendance
upon passengers. For as soon as a traveller comes to an Inne, the servants
run to him, and one takes his horse and walks him till he be cold, then rubs
him and gives him meat. Another servant gives the traveller his private
chamber and kindles his fire: the third pulls off his boots and makes them
cleane. Then the Host or Hostess visits him; and if he will eat with the Host,
or at a common table with others, his meal will cost him six pence, or in
some places but four pence: but if he will eat in his chamber, the which
course is more honourable, he commands what meat he will, according to his
appetite, and when he sits at table the Host or Hostess will visit him, taking
it for courtesie to be bid sit downe: while he eats he shall have musicke
offered him: if he be solitary the musicians will give him the good day with
musicke in the morning. It is the custom to set up part of supper for his
breakfast. Ere he goeth he shall have a reckoning in writing, which the Host
will abate, if it seem unreasonable. At parting, if he give some few pence to
the chamberlain and ostler they wish him a happy journey."

We may add that folk did not use night-gowns, as we see from George
Cavendishes "Life of Wolsey": "My master went to his naked bed." But a
night-gown in those days meant a dressing-gown. Hentzner gives us a
description of the life at Court, from which we will take a few passages. He
was at Greenwich Palace, being admitted to the presence-chamber, which
was hung with rich tapestry and strewn with hay, or rushes. After noticing
the small hands and tapering fingers of the Queen, her stately air and
pleasing speech, he says: "As she went along in all this state and
magnificence, she spoke very graciously, first to one foreign Minister, then
to another: for, besides being well skilled in Greek, Latin, and French, she is
mistress of Spanish, Scotch, and Dutch. Whoever speaks to her, it is
kneeling: now and then she will pull off her glove and give her hand to kiss,
sparkling, with rings and jewels. The Ladies of the Court that followed her,
very handsome and well-shaped, were dressed in white, while she was
guarded on either side by her gentlemen Pensioners, fifty in number, with
gilt battle-axes."

What a marvellous lady was this Queen, so taught by suffering to

dissemble and deceive, so trained by her tutors, Ascham and others, that she
could make a speech in Latin to the Doctors of Cambridge and Oxford, or
converse with a Dutchman, nay, even with a Scot in his own tongue.

We rather suspect that Hentzner may have been mistaken about the Scot;
for surely she could not speak with a Highlander in Gaelic, and to
understand a Lowland Scot could not have taxed her royal powers much.

England was a strange mixture of richness and poverty, of learning and

superstition, of refined luxury and brutal amusements at that age. Hentzner
describes how in a theatre built of wood he one day sat to listen to excellent
music and noble poetry of tragedy or comedy, the next time he witnessed the
cruel baiting of bulls and bears by English bull-dogs. "To this entertainment
there often follows that of whipping a blinded bear, which is performed by
five or six men standing around in a circle with whips, which they exercise
upon him without any mercy, as he cannot escape from them because of his
chain: he defends himself with all his force and skill, throwing down all who
come within his reach, and tearing the whips out of their hands and breaking
them. At these spectacles" (he writes in 1598) "the English are constantly
smoking tobacco, and in this manner: they have pipes on purpose made of
clay, into the farther end of which they put the herb, so dry that it may be
rubbed into powder; putting fire to it they draw the smoke into their mouths,
which they puff out again through their nostrils, like to funnels."

The writer has one of these Elizabethan pipes: it is made with an

exceedingly small bowl, showing how precious was the weed which Raleigh
had recently introduced. The pipes have been found by workmen employed
on the banks of the Thames in Southwark.

We must remember, in criticising the conduct of Elizabethan heroes, that

they lived in a cruel age; that torture was still employed by the law, even to
delicate ladies; that much of their sport was brutal, and much of their
merriment gross and indelicate. There is, and there has been, a decided
progress in the manners of Europeans; so that it is with a moral effort that
we try to see things with their eyes and judge them with discrimination. For
instance, many of their great seamen may in one aspect be regarded as
pirates; for the great Queen sometimes did not sanction their raids over
western waters until they had brought her some priceless spoil. The pirate
was then knighted and commended for his valiant deeds of patriotism. Even
along the coasts of England local jealousy set the galleys of the Cinque Ports
in the south at making reprisals upon the traders of Yarmouth. When these
depredations were made upon foreigners there were few who denounced
them; for it became a kind of sport, an adventure well worth the attention of
any squire's son, to snatch some rich prize from the wide ocean and
distribute largesse on safely coming to port.

These men were the Robin Hoods of the sea, and when from selfish
plunderings they rose to be champions of religious freedom as well, their
career seemed in most men's minds to be worthy of all admiration. But in
order to understand fully the motives which induced the more noble spirits to
go forth and do battle with Spain on private grounds, and at their own
expense, we ought to have sat at the Mermaid, or other taverns, and heard
the mariners' tales as they told them fresh from the salt sea. We should have
listened to stories of cruel wrongs inflicted on the brave Indians of South
America, which would have stirred any dormant spirit of chivalry within us,
and made us long to champion the weak.

We should have heard the story of the Indian chief who was taken
prisoner by the Spaniards, and suffered the penalty of losing his hands
because he had fought so strenuously for his mother-land. This Indian
returned to his people, and devoted the rest of his life to encouraging and
heartening his countrymen to the great work of fighting for life and liberty,
showing his maimed arms, and calling to mind how many others had had
half a foot hacked off by the Spaniards that they might not sit on horseback.
Then, when a battle was being fought, we should have been told how this
chief loaded his two stumps with bundles of arrows and supplied the fighters
with fresh store, as they lacked them. Surely men so brave as this man
challenged admiration and deserved succour.

The young Queen of England had suffered herself, and these stories must
have stirred her heart to say with the Dido of Virgil—

"Haud ignara mali, miseris succurrere disco."

Raleigh and Drake, Hawkins and Frobisher, Shakespeare and Spenser

may have sat by a coal-fire and heard or told such stories; for Raleigh writes:
"Who will not be persuaded that now at length the great Judge of the world
hath heard the sighs, groans, and lamentations, hath seen the tears and blood
of so many millions of innocent men, women, and children, afflicted,
robbed, reviled, branded with hot irons, roasted, dismembered, mangled,
stabbed, whipped, racked, scalded with hot oil, put to the strapado, ripped
alive, beheaded in sport, drowned, dashed against the rocks, famished,
devoured by mastiffs, burned, and by infinite cruelties consumed,—and
purposeth to scourge and plague that cursed nation, and to take the yoke of
servitude from that distressed people, as free by nature as any Christian."

It was not the massacres under Cortez and Pizarro, earlier in this century,
which roused the deepest indignation; it was the tales of inhuman cruelty
perpetrated by Spanish colonists in time of peace, and of the noble conduct
of the conquered Indians under the degrading conditions of their slavery,
which most moved pity and wrath and feelings of revenge.

Men told the story of the Cacique who was forced to labour in the mines
with his former subjects, how he called the miners together—ninety-five in
all—and with a dignity befitting a prince made them the following speech:—
 "My worthy companions and friends, why desire we to live any longer
under so cruel a servitude? Let us now go unto the perpetual seat of our
ancestors, for we shall there have rest from these intolerable cares and
grievances which we endure under the subjection of the unthankful. Go ye
before, I will presently follow." So speaking, the Indian chief held out
handfuls of those leaves which take away life, prepared for the purpose; so
they disdainfully sought in death relief from the cruel bondage of their
Spanish masters.

Again, an officer named Orlando had taken to wife the daughter of a

Cuban Cacique; but, because he was jealous, he caused her to be fastened to
two wooden spits, set her before the fire to roast, and ordered the kitchen
servants to keep her turning. The poor girl, either through panic, fear, or the
torment of heat, swooned away and died. Now the Cacique her father, on
hearing this, took thirty of his men, went to the officer's house and slew the
woman whom he had married after torturing his former wife, slew her
women and all her servants; then he shut the doors of the house and burnt
himself and all his companions. Tales such as these might well sting a
generous and kindly people into doing harsh actions. Froude says in his
"Forgotten Worthies": "On the whole, the conduct and character of the
English sailors present us all through that age with such a picture of
gallantry and high heroic energy as has never been over-matched." So, when
we feel inclined to pass judgment upon our "heroes" for their misdeeds, we
must remember the spirit of the time, and the wrongs of the weaker, and the
promptings of generosity and religion.

CHAPTER II

SIR JOHN HAWKINS, SEAMAN AND

ADMINISTRATOR