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 Energy Audit of
Building Systems
Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering
A Series of Textbooks and Reference Books
Founding Editor: Frank Kreith
Power Plant Synthesis, Dimitris Al. Katsaprakakis

Air Distribution in Buildings

Essam E. Khalil

Nanotechnology: Understanding Small Systems, Third Edition

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Introduction to Biofuels
David M. Mousdale

Energy Conversion
D. Yogi Goswami, Frank Kreith

CRC Handbook of Thermal Engineering

Raj P. Chhabra

Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy Handbook, Second Edition

D. Yogi Goswami, Frank Kreith

Energy, the Environment, and Sustainability

Efstathios E. Michaelides

Principles of Sustainable Energy Systems, Third Edition

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Mechanical-and-Aerospace-Engineering-Series/book-series/CRCMECAERENG
 Energy Audit of
Building Systems

An Engineering Approach

Moncef Krarti
Third edition published 2021
by CRC Press
6000 Broken Sound Parkway NW, Suite 300, Boca Raton, FL 33487-2742
and by CRC Press
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© 2021 Taylor & Francis Group, LLC

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Contents
Preface....................................................................................................................xvii
Author Biography.....................................................................................................xxi

Chapter 1 Introduction to Energy Audit................................................................1

1.1 Introduction................................................................................ 1
1.2 Types of Energy Audits.............................................................. 2
1.2.1 Walk-Through Audit......................................................2
1.2.2 Utility Cost Analysis.....................................................2
1.2.3 Standard Energy Audit..................................................3
1.2.4 Detailed Energy Audit..................................................3
1.3 General Procedure for a Detailed Energy Audit........................ 4
1.3.1 Step 1: Building and Utility Data Analysis...................4
1.3.2 Step 2: Walk-Through Survey.......................................5
1.3.3 Step 3: Baseline for Building Energy Use.....................5
1.3.4 Step 4: Evaluation of Energy Savings Measures........... 5
1.4 Common Energy Conservation Measures..................................8
1.4.1 Building Envelope......................................................... 8
1.4.2 Electrical Systems.........................................................9
1.4.3 HVAC Systems.............................................................. 9
1.4.4 Compressed Air Systems............................................ 11
1.4.5 Energy Management Controls..................................... 11
1.4.6 Indoor Water Management.......................................... 11
1.4.7 New Technologies....................................................... 12
1.5 Case Study................................................................................ 13
1.5.1 Step 1: Building and Utility Data Analysis................. 13
1.5.2 Step 2: On-Site Survey................................................ 14
1.5.3 Step 3: Energy Use Baseline Model............................ 17
1.5.4 Step 4: Evaluation of Energy Conservation
Opportunities (ECOs)................................................. 19
1.5.5 Step 5: Recommendations........................................... 21
1.6 Verification Methods of Energy Savings.................................. 22
1.7 Summary.................................................................................. 23

Chapter 2 Energy Sources and Utility Rate Structures.......................................25

2.1 Introduction..............................................................................25
2.2 Energy Resources.....................................................................25
2.1.1 Electricity.................................................................... 27
2.2.1.1 Overall Consumption and Price.................. 27
2.2.1.2 Future of US Electricity...............................28
2.2.1.3 Utility Deregulation Impact......................... 29

v
vi Contents

2.2.2 Natural Gas................................................................. 30

2.2.3 Petroleum Products..................................................... 31
2.2.4 Coal............................................................................. 32
2.3 Electricity Rates....................................................................... 32
2.3.1 Common Features of Utility Rates.............................34
2.3.1.1 Billing Demand...........................................34
2.3.1.2 Power Factor Clause....................................34
2.3.1.3 Ratchet Clause............................................. 36
2.3.1.4 Fuel Cost Adjustment.................................. 37
2.3.1.5 Service Level............................................... 38
2.3.2 Block Pricing Rates..................................................... 39
2.3.3 Seasonal Pricing Rates................................................ 41
2.3.4 Innovative Rates.......................................................... 43
2.3.4.1 Time-of-Use (TOU) Rates........................... 43
2.3.4.2 Real-Time Pricing Rates..............................44
2.3.4.3 The End-Use Rates......................................44
2.3.4.4 Specialty Rates............................................44
2.3.4.5 Financial Incentive Rates............................44
2.3.4.6 Nonfirm Rates..............................................44
2.3.4.7 Energy Purchase Rates................................ 45
2.3.5 Real-Time Pricing Rates............................................. 45
2.3.5.1 Category 1: Base Bill and Incremental
Energy Charge Rates................................... 45
2.3.5.2 Category 2: Total Energy Charge
Rates............................................................46
2.3.5.3 Category 3: Day-Type Rates........................46
2.3.5.4 Category 4: Index-Type Rates......................46
2.3.6 Case Study of RTP Rates............................................46
2.4 Natural Gas Rates..................................................................... 51
2.5 Utility Rates for Other Energy Sources................................... 53
2.6 Summary.................................................................................. 54

Chapter 3 Economic Analysis.............................................................................. 59

3.1 Introduction.............................................................................. 59
3.2 Basic Concepts......................................................................... 59
3.2.1 Interest Rate................................................................60
3.3 Inflation Rate............................................................................ 62
3.3.1 Tax Rate...................................................................... 63
3.3.2 Cash Flows..................................................................64
3.4 Compounding Factors.............................................................. 65
3.4.1 Single Payment............................................................ 65
3.4.2 Uniform-Series Payment.............................................66
3.5 Economic Evaluation Methods Among Alternatives............... 68
3.5.1 Net Present Worth....................................................... 68
3.5.2 Rate of Return............................................................. 68
Contents vii

3.5.3 Benefit–Cost Ratio...................................................... 69

3.5.4 Payback Period............................................................ 69
3.5.5 Cost of Energy............................................................. 70
3.5.6 Summary of Economic Analysis Methods................. 70
3.6 Life-Cycle Cost Analysis Method............................................ 73
3.7 General Procedure for an Economic Evaluation...................... 75
3.8 Financing Options.................................................................... 76
3.8.1 Direct Purchasing........................................................ 77
3.8.2 Leasing........................................................................ 77
3.8.3 Performance Contracting............................................ 78
3.9 Summary.................................................................................. 78

Chapter 4 Energy Analysis Tools......................................................................... 81

4.1 Introduction.............................................................................. 81
4.2 Ratio-Based Methods............................................................... 82
4.2.1 Introduction................................................................. 82
4.2.2 Types of Ratios............................................................ 83
4.2.3 Examples of Energy Ratios.........................................84
4.3 Inverse Modeling Methods....................................................... 85
4.3.1 Steady-State Inverse Models....................................... 85
4.3.1.1 ANAGRAM Method................................... 87
4.3.1.2 PRISM Method............................................ 89
4.3.2 Dynamic Models......................................................... 89
4.4 Forward Modeling Methods..................................................... 91
4.4.1 Steady-State Methods.................................................. 91
4.4.2 Degree-Day Methods.................................................. 91
4.4.3 Bin Methods................................................................92
4.4.4 Dynamic Methods....................................................... 93
4.5 Summary..................................................................................97

Chapter 5 Electrical Systems...............................................................................99

5.1 Introduction..............................................................................99
5.2 Review Of Basics......................................................................99
5.2.1 Alternating Current Systems.......................................99
5.2.2 Power Factor Improvement....................................... 103
5.3 Electrical Motors.................................................................... 104
5.3.1 Introduction............................................................... 104
5.3.2 Overview of Electrical Motors.................................. 105
5.3.3 Energy-Efficient Motors............................................ 106
5.3.3.1 General Description................................... 106
5.3.3.2 Adjustable Speed Drives (ASDs)............... 108
5.3.3.3 Energy Savings Calculations..................... 109
5.4 Lighting Systems.................................................................... 112
5.4.1 Introduction............................................................... 112
viii Contents

5.4.2 Energy-Efficient Lighting Systems........................... 114

5.4.2.1 High-Efficiency Fluorescent Lamps.......... 114
5.4.2.2 Compact Fluorescent Lamps..................... 116
5.4.2.3 Compact Halogen Lamps.......................... 116
5.4.2.4 Electronic Ballasts..................................... 116
5.4.3 Lighting Controls...................................................... 117
5.4.3.1 Occupancy Sensors.................................... 117
5.4.3.2 Light Dimming Systems............................ 119
5.4.3.3 Energy Savings from Daylighting
Controls...................................................... 119
5.5 Electrical Appliances............................................................. 121
5.5.1 Office Equipment...................................................... 121
5.5.2 Residential Appliances.............................................. 122
5.6 Electrical Distribution Systems.............................................. 126
5.6.1 Introduction............................................................... 126
5.6.2 Transformers............................................................. 127
5.6.3 Electrical Wires......................................................... 129
5.7 Power Quality......................................................................... 134
5.7.1 Introduction............................................................... 134
5.7.2 Total Harmonic Distortion........................................ 134
5.8 Summary................................................................................ 137

Chapter 6 Building Envelope............................................................................. 141

6.1 Introduction............................................................................ 141
6.2 Basic Heat Transfer Concepts................................................. 141
6.2.1 Heat Transfer from Walls and Roofs......................... 142
6.2.2 Infiltration Heat Loss/Gain....................................... 144
6.2.3 Variable-Base Degree-Days Method......................... 150
6.3 Simplified Calculation Tools for Building Envelope
Audit....................................................................................... 152
6.3.1 Estimation of the Energy Use Savings...................... 152
6.3.2 Estimation of the BLC for the Building.................... 153
6.3.3 Estimation of the Degree-Days................................. 153
6.3.4 Foundation Heat Transfer Calculations..................... 158
6.3.5 Simplified Calculation Method for Building
Foundation Heat Loss/Gain...................................... 160
6.3.5.1 Calculation Example No. 1: Basement
for a Residential Building.......................... 163
6.3.5.2 Calculation Example No. 2:
Freezer Slab............................................... 164
6.4 Selected Retrofits For Building Envelope.............................. 168
6.4.1 Insulation of Poorly Insulated Building Envelope
Components............................................................... 168
6.4.2 Window Improvements............................................. 169
Contents ix

6.4.3 Reduction of Air Infiltration..................................... 170

6.4.4 Implementation of Breathing Walls.......................... 172
6.5 Summary................................................................................ 175

Chapter 7 Secondary HVAC Systems................................................................ 181

7.1 Introduction............................................................................ 181
7.2 Types of Secondary HVAC Systems...................................... 181
7.3 Ventilation Systems................................................................ 184
7.3.1 Ventilation Air Intake............................................... 184
7.3.2 Air Filters.................................................................. 189
7.3.3 Air-Side Economizers............................................... 190
7.3.3.1 Temperature Economizer Cycle................ 190
7.3.3.2 Enthalpy Economizer Cycle...................... 190
7.4 Ventilation of Parking Garages.............................................. 191
7.4.1 Existing Codes and Standards................................... 191
7.4.2 General Methodology for Estimating the
Ventilation Requirements for Parking Garages........ 193
7.4.2.1 Step 1. Collect Data About Parking
Garage........................................................ 193
7.4.2.2 Step 2. Estimate CO Generation Rate....... 194
7.4.2.3 Step 3. Determine the Required
Ventilation Rate......................................... 194
7.5 Indoor Temperature Controls................................................. 197
7.6 Upgrade of Fan Systems......................................................... 198
7.6.1 Introduction............................................................... 198
7.6.2 Basic Principles of Fan Operation............................. 198
7.6.3 Duct Leakage............................................................ 203
7.6.4 Damper Leakage.......................................................204
7.6.5 Size Adjustment.........................................................205
7.7 Heat Recovery Systems..........................................................206
7.7.1 Introduction...............................................................206
7.7.2 Types of Heat Recovery Systems..............................207
7.7.3 Performance of Heat Recovery Systems................... 210
7.7.4 Simplified Analysis Methods.................................... 213
7.8 Common HVAC Retrofit Measures........................................ 218
7.8.1 Reduction of Outdoor Air Volume............................ 218
7.8.2 Reset Hot or Cold Deck Temperatures...................... 220
7.8.3 CV to VAV System Retrofit....................................... 221
7.9 Summary................................................................................ 223

Chapter 8 Primary Heating and Cooling Systems............................................. 227

8.1 Introduction............................................................................ 227
8.2 Heating Systems..................................................................... 229
8.2.1 Overview of Combustion Principles......................... 229
x Contents

8.2.2 Boiler Configurations and Components.................... 230

8.2.2.1 Boiler Types............................................... 231
8.2.2.2 Boiler Firing Systems................................ 232
8.2.3 Boiler Thermal Efficiency......................................... 233
8.2.4 Boiler Efficiency Improvements................................ 238
8.2.4.1 Tune-Up of Boilers.................................... 238
8.2.4.2 High-Efficiency Boilers............................. 239
8.2.4.3 Modular Boilers.........................................240
8.3 Cooling Systems..................................................................... 241
8.3.1 Overview of Cooling Principles................................ 241
8.3.2 Types of Cooling Systems.........................................244
8.3.2.1 Unitary AC Systems..................................244
8.3.2.2 Packaged AC Systems............................... 245
8.3.2.3 Heat Pumps................................................ 245
8.3.2.4 Central Chillers......................................... 245
8.3.3 Retrofit Measures for Cooling Systems..................... 247
8.3.3.1 Chiller Replacement..................................248
8.3.3.2 Chiller Control Improvement.................... 250
8.3.3.3 Multiple Chillers........................................ 252
8.3.3.4 Alternate Cooling Systems........................ 254
8.3.4 Impact of Oversizing Air-Conditioning
Systems...................................................................... 255
8.3.4.1 HVAC Systems Design Approach............. 255
8.3.4.2 Impact of AC Sizing on Energy Use.......... 257
8.4 Water Distribution Systems.................................................... 259
8.4.1 Pumps........................................................................ 261
8.4.2 Pump and System Curves......................................... 262
8.4.3 Analysis of Water Distribution Systems................... 263
8.5 Summary................................................................................266

Chapter 9 Distributed Energy Systems.............................................................. 269

9.1 Introduction............................................................................ 269
9.2 Combined Heat and Power Systems....................................... 270
9.2.1 Types of CHP Systems.............................................. 271
9.2.1.1 Conventional CHP Systems....................... 272
9.2.1.2 Packaged CHP Systems............................. 274
9.2.1.3 Fuel Cells................................................... 275
9.2.2 Evaluation of CHP Systems...................................... 275
9.2.2.1 Efficiency of CHP Systems........................ 276
9.2.2.2 Simplified Analysis of CHP Systems........ 278
9.2.3 Financial Options for CHP Systems......................... 279
9.3 Renewable Energy Systems....................................................280
9.3.1 Passive Solar Systems...............................................280
9.3.2 Solar Thermal Collectors.......................................... 281
9.3.2.1 Solar Domestic Hot Water Systems...........284
Contents xi

9.3.2.2 Solar Combisystems.................................. 285

9.3.2.3 Photovoltaic/Thermal Collectors............... 286
9.3.3 Photovoltaic Systems................................................. 286
9.3.3.1 PV System Configurations......................... 286
9.3.3.2 Analysis of PV System Performance......... 288
9.3.3.3 PV System Components............................ 293
9.4 Thermal Energy Storage Systems.......................................... 298
9.4.1 Types of TES Systems............................................... 299
9.4.2 Operation of TES Systems........................................300
9.4.3 Control Strategies of TES Systems...........................307
9.4.3.1 Full Storage................................................308
9.4.3.2 Partial Storage...........................................308
9.4.4 Options for TES Operating Cost Reduction............. 310
9.4.4.1 Feasibility Analysis of TES Systems......... 310
9.4.4.2 Operation Improvements of TES
Systems...................................................... 312
9.5 District Energy Systems......................................................... 314
9.5.1 Overview of DES...................................................... 315
9.5.2 Benefits of DES......................................................... 316
9.5.3 Technologies for Heating.......................................... 318
9.5.4 Technologies for Cooling.......................................... 320
9.5.5 DES Distribution Systems......................................... 321
9.5.6 DES End-User Systems............................................. 322
9.5.7 Simplified Analysis of DES...................................... 323
9.6 Summary................................................................................ 325

Chapter 10 Energy Management Control Systems.............................................. 329

10.1 Introduction............................................................................ 329
10.2 Basic Control Principles......................................................... 330
10.2.1 Control Modes........................................................... 330
10.2.2 Intelligent Control Systems....................................... 335
10.2.3 Types of Control Systems.......................................... 336
10.3 Energy Management Systems................................................ 337
10.3.1 Basic Components of EMCS..................................... 337
10.3.2 Typical Functions of EMCS...................................... 338
10.3.3 Design Considerations of EMCS.............................. 339
10.3.4 Communication Protocols......................................... 341
10.4 Control Applications............................................................... 342
10.4.1 Duty Cycling Controls.............................................. 345
10.4.2 Outdoor Air Intake Controls.....................................346
10.4.2.1 VAV Control Techniques for
Economizer Systems.................................. 347
10.4.2.2 VAV Control Techniques for Systems
with a Dedicated Outside Air Duct........... 350
xii Contents

10.4.2.3 Other VAV Control Techniques................. 351

10.4.2.4 Comparative Analysis................................ 353
10.4.3 Optimum Start Controls............................................ 355
10.4.4 Cooling/Heating Central Plant Optimization........... 357
10.4.4.1 Single Chiller Control Improvement......... 357
10.4.4.2 Controls for Multiple Chillers................... 358
10.4.4.3 Controls for Multiple Boilers..................... 359
10.5 Summary................................................................................ 359

Chapter 11 Smart Building Energy Systems....................................................... 361

11.1 Introduction............................................................................ 361
11.2 Smart Grid.............................................................................. 362
11.3 Smart Building Technologies................................................. 365
11.3.1 Building Envelope Systems....................................... 365
11.3.1.1 Dynamic Window Systems....................... 365
11.3.1.2 Dynamic Opaque Systems......................... 366
11.3.2 Electrical Systems..................................................... 367
11.3.2.1 Lighting Systems....................................... 367
11.3.2.2 Office Equipment....................................... 367
11.3.2.3 Appliances................................................. 368
11.3.3 Mechanical Systems.................................................. 369
11.3.3.1 HVAC Systems.......................................... 369
11.3.3.2 Water Heating Systems.............................. 371
11.3.4 Smart Controls.......................................................... 371
11.4 Analysis Approaches.............................................................. 372
11.4.1 Analysis of Building Load Profiles........................... 372
11.4.2 Energy Efficiency Optimization................................ 374
11.4.3 Demand Reduction Optimization............................. 376
11.5 Evaluation of Smart Energy Systems..................................... 379
11.5.1 Switchable Insulation Systems.................................. 379
11.5.1.1 Switchable Insulations for Roofs............... 381
11.5.1.2 Switchable Insulations for Walls............... 386
11.5.1.3 Switchable Insulations for Windows......... 392
11.5.2 Lighting Systems....................................................... 394
11.5.2.1 LED-Integrated Controls........................... 394
11.5.2.2 Advanced Daylighting Controls................ 396
11.5.3 Passive and Active TES Systems.............................. 398
11.5.4 Smart Thermostats....................................................400
11.5.4.1 Potential Energy Savings...........................402
11.5.4.2 Benefits for Large-Scale Deployment........402
11.5.4.3 Cost-Effectiveness Analysis......................404
11.6 Summary................................................................................406
Contents xiii

Chapter 12 Water Management............................................................................409

12.1 Introduction............................................................................409
12.2 Indoor Water Management.....................................................409
12.2.1 Water-Efficient Plumbing Fixtures............................ 410
12.2.1.1 Water-Saving Showerheads....................... 411
12.2.1.2 Water-Saving Toilets.................................. 411
12.2.1.3 Water-Saving Faucets................................ 412
12.2.1.4 Repair Water Leaks................................... 412
12.2.1.5 Water/Energy-Efficient Appliances........... 412
12.2.2 Domestic Hot Water Usage....................................... 414
12.2.3 Water Heaters............................................................ 416
12.2.4 Hot Water Distribution Systems................................ 421
12.3 Outdoor Water Management.................................................. 424
12.3.1 Irrigation and Landscaping....................................... 424
12.3.2 Wastewater Reuse...................................................... 426
12.4 Swimming Pools.................................................................... 427
12.4.1 Evaporative Losses.................................................... 428
12.4.2 Impact of Pool Covers............................................... 430
12.5 Summary................................................................................ 431

Chapter 13 Large-Scale Retrofit Analysis........................................................... 433

13.1 Introduction............................................................................ 433
13.2 Building Stock Modeling Approaches................................... 435
13.2.1 Top-Down Modeling Approaches............................. 436
13.2.2 Bottom-Up Statistical Modeling Methods................ 436
13.2.3 Bottom-Up Deterministic Engineering Modeling
Methods..................................................................... 437
13.2.4 Bottom-Up Stochastic Engineering Modeling
Methods..................................................................... 438
13.3 General Methodology for Large-Scale Retrofit Analysis....... 439
13.3.1 Main Building Characteristics..................................440
13.3.2 Building Stock Model............................................... 443
13.3.3 Calibration Analysis..................................................444
13.3.4 Energy Efficiency Analysis....................................... 447
13.4 Case Studies...........................................................................449
13.4.1 Retrofit of Residential Building Stock...................... 450
13.4.1.1 Household Perspective............................... 450
13.4.1.2 Government Perspective............................ 452
13.4.2 Retrofit of Commercial Building Stock.................... 454
13.4.2.1 Representative Office Building
Models....................................................... 455
13.4.2.2 Office Building Stock Model..................... 458
xiv Contents

13.4.2.3 Energy Efficiency Measures...................... 459

13.4.2.4 Net-Zero Energy Building Analysis.......... 463
13.4.2.5 Overview of Analysis Results....................466
13.5 Summary................................................................................469

Chapter 14 Energy Productivity Analysis........................................................... 471

14.1 Introduction............................................................................ 471
14.2 Energy Productivity Concepts................................................ 471
14.2.1 Overview of Macroeconomic Principles................... 471
14.2.2 Multiple Benefits of Energy Efficiency..................... 472
14.3 Energy Productivity Analysis Approach................................ 473
14.3.1 Macroeconomic Analysis for Building Sector.......... 474
14.3.2 Analysis for Individual Buildings............................. 478
14.3.3 Impact of Energy Efficiency Measures.....................480
14.3.4 Estimation of Value Added from Energy
Efficiency................................................................... 481
14.4 Applications of Energy Productivity Analysis....................... 483
14.4.1 Energy Retrofit of Individual Buildings.................... 483
14.4.2 Energy Retrofit of Building Stocks........................... 486
14.5 Summary................................................................................ 496

Chapter 15 Methods for Estimating Energy Savings........................................... 499

15.1 Introduction............................................................................ 499
15.2 General Procedure..................................................................500
15.3 Energy Savings Estimation Models........................................ 502
15.3.1 Simplified Engineering Methods.............................. 502
15.3.2 Regression Analysis Models.....................................504
15.3.2.1 Single-Variable Regression Analysis
Models....................................................... 505
15.3.2.2 Multivariable Regression Analysis
Models....................................................... 508
15.3.3 Dynamic Models....................................................... 510
15.3.4 Computer Simulation Models.................................... 512
15.4 Applications............................................................................ 517
15.5 Uncertainty Analysis.............................................................. 518
15.6 Summary................................................................................ 520

Chapter 16 Audit Reports.................................................................................... 521

16.1 Reporting Guidelines.............................................................. 521
16.1.1 Reporting a Walk-Through Audit.............................. 521
16.1.2 Reporting a Standard Audit...................................... 523
16.2 Case Study 1: Walk-Through Audit of a Residence............... 525
16.2.1 Building Description................................................. 525
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life, to whom in kindness she had opened her doors. Some people had
shaken their heads, but everybody allowed that there was but one end to
such an intimacy. And it was very seldom that anything so convenient
happened in the world as the death of the husband so absolutely in the nick
of time. Of course what would happen now was clear to the meanest
apprehension. Probably being, as they were, excellent people both, and full
of good feeling, they would wait the full year and show ‘every respect’ to
the dead man who had been so considerate of them; but that, at that or an
earlier period, Mrs. Meredith would become Mrs. Beresford, was a thing
that everyone felt convinced of, as sure as if it had already taken place.
It would be difficult to tell how this general conviction forced itself upon
James Beresford’s mind. The efforts which had to be made to send him
away awoke him to a startled sense that his intimacy with his neighbour
was regarded by his friends under a strange and uncomfortable light; and he
had yielded to their efforts with no small agitation on his own part, and a
sense of pain and desolation which made him ask himself whether they
were right. Probably had he gone away, and Mrs. Meredith been forcibly
separated from him, an unlawful object of affection, he would have ended
by believing that they were right, and that the consolation and comfort and
pleasures of his intercourse with her had grown into ‘a warmer feeling.’ But
now that Mr. Meredith was well out of the way, and even the excitement
attending his end over, he was by no means so clear in his mind, and the
subject became one of great trouble and complication. Somehow it seems
always possible, always within the modesties of nature even to the least
vain of men, or women, that some other, any other, may regard him (or her)
with a specially favourable eye. No one does wrong in loving us, nor are we
disposed to blame them for it. So that there was perhaps a time in which Mr.
Beresford took his friends’ opinion for granted, and was not unprepared to
believe that perhaps Mrs. Meredith would be happy in being his wife; and
that, in his state of mind, was a final argument against which nothing could
be said. But lately he had begun to doubt this; his coming did not clear
away the clouds that had invaded her brows. She would strike into sudden
talk about Edward and his going away, when her friend with much delicacy
and anxiety was endeavouring to sound her feelings. She seemed
unconscious of his investigation—her mind was pre-occupied. Sometimes,
on the other hand, she would betray a certain uneasiness, and change the
subject in a way that betrayed her consciousness; but that was only when
her mind was quite free. From the time when she began to have a grievance,
an anxiety of her own, she escaped from the most cautious wiles of his
scrutiny. She was more occupied by thoughts of her son than by thoughts of
him. Was this consistent with love? Poor James Beresford, feeling that this
would decide him in a moment could he know, one way or another, what
her feelings were, was thus thrown out and forced to fall back upon his
own.
And what were his own?—A maze of conflicting ideas, wishes,
prejudices, and traditions of old affection. There was nothing in the world
he would not have given up cheerfully rather than lose this sweet friend—
this consoler and sympathiser in all his troubles. But he did not want her to
be his wife. His Annie, it might be, had faded into a distant shadow; but that
shadow represented to him a whole world past and over—the world of love
and active, brilliant, joyous happiness. His nature, too, had fallen into the
shadows—he did not want that kind of happiness now; one passion had
been enough for him; he wanted a friend, and that he had—he did not want
anything more. And the idea of disturbing all the unity of his life by a
second beginning gave him a smart shock. Can a man have more wives than
one?—Can he have more lives than one?—He was a fanciful man, of
fastidious mind, and with many niceties of feeling such as ruder minds
called fantastic. He shrank from the thought of banishing from his house
even the shadow and name of her who was gone. To be sure if he could
make up his mind that she wished it, all these resolutions would have gone
to the winds; and it is very likely that he would have been very happy—
happier than he could ever be otherwise. But then he could not make her
feelings out. Would she go visibly away from him, even while he was
sitting by her, into her troubles about Edward—eyes and heart alike
growing blank to him, and full of her boy—if she had given to him a place
above her boys in her affections? Surely no. I would not even assert that
there was not the slightest possible suspicion of pique in this conclusion, for
the man would have been flattered to know that the woman loved him, even
though he was conscious that he did not so regard her. But ‘the warmer
feeling’ of which all their friends were so sure, of which everybody
concluded that it had grown unconsciously en tout bien et tout honneur out
of that friendship which the world holds to be impossible between man and
woman—was just the one thing about which the principal person concerned
could have no certainty at all. He knew what the friendship was—it was
almost life to him; it was his strongest support—his best consolation; it was
the only thing that could make a second, a kind of serious sweet successor,
to the love that was never to come again; but it was not that love—certainly
not in his heart—so far as he could make out, not in hers either; but who
could tell? Weak man! he would rather have preferred that she should have
felt differently, and that it should have been his duty to marry for her sake.
His life had settled down into all its old lines since Mr. Meredith’s death.
He had his business about the societies—his meetings—his lectures to
arrange—sometimes his articles to write. Now and then he dined out in the
best and most learned of company. He was pointed out to the ignorant when
he went into society as a distinguished person. He was in the front of the
age, knowing a great deal more than most people knew, doing things that
few people could do. His mornings were spent in these refined and
dignified occupations; and when he dined out with his remarkable friends,
or when he dined at home with only his silent little girl to keep him
company, as regularly as the clock struck he knocked at the next door, and
had his hour of gentle talk, of mutual confidence. They knew all about each
other, these two; each could understand all the allusions the other made—all
the surrounding incidents in the other’s life. They talked as man and wife
do, yet with a little element of unconvention, of independence, of freshness
in the intercourse, which made it more piquant than that between man and
wife. What could be more agreeable, more desirable, more pleasant? But to
break off all this delightful ease of intercourse by some kind of antiquary
courtship, by the fuss of marriage, by fictitious honeymooning, and
disturbance of all their formed and regular habits of life,—what nonsense it
would be—and all for the sake of their friends, not of themselves! But if she
should wish it, of course that would give altogether another character to the
affair.
This was what Mr. Beresford at last made up his mind to ascertain boldly
one way or another. It was about the same time as Oswald, approaching the
railway junction, was turning over his dilemma and seeing no way out of it.
Mr. Beresford had been hearing a lecture, and was in a chastened state of
mind. He had been hearing about the convulsions of the early world, and by
what means the red-hot earth cooled down and settled itself, after all
manner of heavings and boilings, into something of the aspect it wears. As
he walked home he dwelt upon the wonderful grandeur of such phenomena.
What did it matter, after all, what happened to a few small insignificant
persons on the crust which had formed over all these convulsions? What of
their little weepings and lovings and momentary struggles, to one who
could study such big and mighty strainings of force against force? A little
while at the most, and the creatures who made so much fuss about their
feelings would be a handful of dust; but volcanic action would go on for
ever. Notwithstanding this philosophy, however, it must be allowed that,
whereas he had heard of these convulsions with the calmest bosom, his
heart began to beat as he approached Mrs. Meredith’s door. If the moon had
tumbled out of the sky, or a boiling caldron suddenly revealed itself in the
earth, so long as it was at a safe distance, even Mr. Beresford, who was so
fond of science, would not have cared a tenth part so much about it as he
did to know what his neighbour meant; which was inconsistent, but natural
perhaps. The philosophy went out of his head as he approached the door.
Little fusses of loving and of liking—momentary cross-lights, or, let us say,
flickering farthing candles of human sentiment—what are they to the big
forces that move the world? Is not a bit of chalk more interesting than all
your revolutions and changes?—your petty sufferings, passions, heroisms,
and the like? Mr. Beresford thought he believed all that—yet, heaven
above! how calm he was when the chalk was under consideration, and how
much perturbed when he went up the steps of the house next door!
‘You have been out to-night?’
‘Yes, I have been hearing Robinson—a remarkably interested, intelligent
audience. Where are the boys? Edward should come—it would interest
him.’
‘Edward is always at work. He is killing himself for this examination. I
wish he could be interested in something less serious. Oswald has been
away all day. I think he said he was going to the country. If we could only
mix them up a little,’ said the mother, with an anxious smile—‘to one a
little more gravity, to the other a little more of his brother’s light-
heartedness.’
Mr. Beresford did not say anything about the superior interest of
volcanic action, as he might, nay, perhaps ought, to have done. He said
instead, in the feeblest way, ‘That will come as they get older. You must
give them time.’
 Mrs. Meredith did not say anything. She shook her head, but the faint
smile on her face remained. There was nothing tragical yet about either one
or the other. Mr. Beresford was less calm than usual. He sat down and got
up again; he took up books and threw them away; he fidgeted about the
room from one point to another. At last even Mrs. Meredith’s composure
gave way. She jumped to one of those sudden conclusions which foolish
women who are mothers are so apt to think of. It suddenly rushed upon her
mind that some accident had happened to Oswald, and that Mr. Beresford
had been sent to her to break the news.
‘You are put out,’ she said; ‘something has happened. Oh, tell me—
something about the boys? Oswald!’
‘Nothing of the sort,’ he said. ‘Don’t think it for a moment! The boys are
perfectly well, I hope. I was going to ask you an odd sort of question,
though,’ he added, with an awkward smile, rushing into the middle of the
subject. ‘Did it never occur to you that you would be the better for having
someone to help you with the boys?’
Now, there could not have been a more foolish question—for until a very
short time back the boys’ father had been in existence—and since then,
there had been no time for the widow to take any such step. She looked at
him with much surprise. ‘Someone to help me? Whom could I have to help
me? Their poor dear father was too far away!’
‘Ah! I forgot their father,’ said Mr. Beresford, with naïve innocence, and
then there was a pause. He did not know how to begin again after that very
evident downfall. ‘I mean, however, as a general question,’ he added, ‘what
do you think? Should you approve of a woman in your own position—
marrying, for instance—for her children’s sake?’
‘That is a curious question,’ she said, with a little laugh; but the surprise
brought the colour into her face. ‘I suppose it would depend on the woman.
But I don’t know,’ she added, after a moment, ‘how a woman could put her
children into any stranger’s—any other man’s hands.’
‘Ah, a stranger! perhaps I did not mean a stranger.’
‘I don’t think you know what you meant,’ she said, with a smile; but
there was some terror in her eyes. She thought she knew what was coming.
She was like him in her own sentiments, and still more like him in her
speculations about himself. She had been brought to believe that he loved
and wanted to marry her. And, if it could not be otherwise, she felt that she
must consent; but she did not wish it any more than he did. However, while
he thought the best policy was to find out what ought to be done at once,
she was all for putting off, avoiding the consideration, trusting in something
that might turn up. Mr. Beresford, however, had wound himself up to this
interview, and was not to be put off.
‘Between people of our sober years such questions may be discussed—
may they not?’ he said. ‘I wonder what you think really? There is nothing I
so much wish to know—not the conventional things that everybody says—
but what you think. You have been my other conscience for so long,’ he
added, jesuitically, in order to conceal the cunning with which he was
approaching the subject—asking for her opinion without specifying the
subject on which he wanted it.
But she saw through him, with a little amusement at the artifice
employed. He wanted to know what she thought without asking her.
Fortunately, the being asked was the thing she wanted to avoid. But, just
when they had got to this critical point, Edward came upstairs. He was not
friendly, as he had been to his mother’s friend; he came in with the gloom
upon his face, and a look of weariness. Mr. Beresford heard the door open
with great impatience of the newcomer, whoever it might be. Nothing could
be more inopportune. He wished Edward in Calcutta or wherever else it
might be best for him to be on the other side of the seas. But, as for Mrs.
Meredith, her attention fled on the moment to her boy. She forgot her friend
and his questioning, and even the delicate position which she had realised,
and the gravity of the relations which might ensue. All this went out of her
mind in comparison with Edward’s fatigued look. She got up and went to
him, putting her hand very tenderly upon his shoulder.
‘You have been working too long, dear. Oh, Edward, don’t be so anxious
to get away from me! You are working as if this was your dearest wish in
the world.’
‘So it is,’ he said; ‘not to leave you, mother; but to feel that I am doing
something, not merely learning or enjoying myself.’
‘Edward is quite right,’ said Mr. Beresford. ‘It is by far the most worthy
feeling for a young man.’
But Edward did not take this friendly support in a good spirit; he darted
a half-savage glance at his backer-up.
 ‘Oh, if you take it in that light, that is not what I meant,’ he said. ‘I am
not of that noble strain. It is not pure disinterestedness. I think it is a pity
only to lose one’s advantages, and I should have some advantages of
connection and that sort of thing. At least, I suppose so; and it is what is
called a fine career.’
‘Yes, it is a fine career.’
‘If it is fine to separate yourself from all you care for in the world,’ cried
Mrs. Meredith, ‘from all who care for you—not only must we be left
behind, but when you have got beyond me, when you have a family of your
own——’
‘Which I never shall have, mother.’
‘Nonsense! boys and girls say so, and end just like others; even your
own, your very own must be taken from you. You must give up everything
—and you call that a fine career.’
‘Men do, if women don’t,’ said the young man, not looking at her. His
heart was so wrung and sore that he could not keep the gloom off his face.
‘And you don’t care what women think? You might have put off that
lesson till you were a little older. At your age what your mother thinks
should surely be something to you still.’
He gave her a look which was full of pain. Was that what he was
thinking? Was he sure to care little for what women thought? ‘You know
better, mother,’ he said harshly. He was all rubbed the wrong way—
thwarted, wearied, unhappy. ‘I only came for a book,’ he continued, after a
moment, picking up the first one he got hold of, and then, with a little nod
to the visitor, went upstairs again. What did that visitor want here? Why did
he leave his own house, and Cara alone—poor Cara!—whom nobody loved
as Edward did? It would be a great deal better for Mr. Beresford if he would
stay at home. After this little episode Edward sat down stubborn and
unyielding to his work again. What did it matter if a man was happy or
unhappy? He had his day’s work to get through all the same.
‘Don’t think him harsh. I am afraid my boy is not quite happy,’ said Mrs.
Meredith, with tears in her eyes.
‘That is nothing,’ he said. ‘I am not a friend of yesterday; but he came in
when we were talking——’
 ‘Ah, yes,’ she said, but her eyes were still full of Edward; ‘what was it
we were talking about?’
‘I am afraid if you say that, it is sufficient answer to my question,’ said
Mr. Beresford, more wounded than he could have supposed possible; for he
wanted to be first with her, though he did not wish it in the vulgar way that
was supposed.
‘You are not to be angry,’ she said, with a deprecating look, laying her
hand softly on his arm; ‘you must not be hard upon me. When they are boys
we wish them to be men, but anxiety grows with their growth; and now I
think sometimes I should be glad to have them boys again.’
‘Boys, boys!’ he exclaimed, with natural impatience, ‘is that all you
think of? Yet there are other interests in the world.’
‘How selfish I am!’ she cried, rousing herself suddenly. ‘That is true.
You must forgive me; but I am so used to talk to you of everything,
whatever is in my heart.’
This melted him once more. ‘Yes,’ he said, ‘we talk to each other of
everything; we have no secrets between us. There is nothing in the world I
would not do for you, nor you, I think, for me. Do you know what people
are thinking about you and me? They think that being so near we should be
nearer; that we might help one another better. That was what I wanted to
ask you. Don’t you think it is so?’
He wanted her to commit herself first, and she was willing enough that
he should commit himself, but not that she should. She was embarrassed,
yet she met his eyes with a half smile.
‘I think it is not a case for heeding what people think. Are we not very
well as we are? How could we be better than as fast friends—friends
through fire and water?’
‘That we should always be,’ he said, grasping her hand, ‘that we should
always be; and yet without becoming less we might be more. Speak to me
frankly, dear; you know all my heart. Do not you think so too?’
 CHAPTER XLII.

A GREAT REVOLUTION.

Notwithstanding the directness of this questioning, it was by no means a

direct reply which Mr. Beresford got from Mrs. Meredith. It was not a
refusal, but neither was it a consent. ‘Let us not do anything rashly,’ and ‘I
think we are very well as we are,’ was what she said, and yet the change
was certainly a step nearer accomplishment now that the possibility of it
had been mentioned between them. He had grown rather earnest in pressing
the expediency of this step as soon as the ice was fairly broken, and had
been piqued by her reluctance into more warmth than he had expected
himself to feel. Nevertheless, when he came back to his own house,
uncomfortable matters of detail came into Mr. Beresford’s mind, and
annoyed him more than he could have believed, more than they were worth.
About the houses, for instance; if this happened, they could not go on living
next door to each other. Would she come to his, or should he go to hers?—if
indeed the matter came to anything. This bothered him, and suggested many
other details—changes of habit which would bother him still more.
Altogether it was a troublesome business. He liked her best in her own
drawing-room; but then he liked himself much best in his own library, and
there were moments in which he felt disposed to denounce the fool who had
first thought of any change. All things considered, how much better it
would have been that they should remain as they were! but that was no
longer to be thought of. How was he to tell Cara? How was she to tell her
boys, upon whom she was so much more dependent than he was upon
Cara? If the boys disapproved strenuously, then Mr. Beresford felt it would
come to nothing after all; and in that case how much better to have said
nothing! for he felt that he would not like to stand in the position of a man
refused. So that altogether this middle-aged romance was not without its
troubles; troubles—as, for instance, that about the houses—which you may
laugh at if you please, but which involved much more personal
embarrassment and inconvenience, you will allow, than many of the
sentimental difficulties which you are ready to weep over in the romances
of the young.
Mrs. Meredith was kept in some uneasiness also by the fact that Oswald
did not return that night. The servants sat up for him, and lights burned all
night in the house, affronting the dawn which came so early; but he did not
appear. This was not at all usual; for Oswald, though he liked his own way,
and was frivolous enough, had never been dissipated in the ordinary sense
of that word; and what made it more unpleasant still was the fact that next
day was Sunday, and that no communication either by telegram or letter
was possible. This fact drove everything else out of Mrs. Meredith’s head.
When James Beresford went to her, she could talk of nothing but Oswald;
where he could have gone, how he might have been detained. That he had
not sent them any news of his movements was easily explained. Sunday! ‘I
would not say a word against Sunday,’ said poor Mrs. Meredith, who went
to church dutifully as Sunday came; ‘but, oh! when one is anxious, when
there is no post and no telegraph, what a day!’ They were all telling her
how easily explainable Oswald’s absence was; and when they stopped
explaining it to her, she herself would take up the parable, and protest that
she knew exactly how it must have happened. It was all as clear as daylight.
He had been detained by his friends whoever they might happen to be, or he
had lost the last train. It was Oswald’s way to lose the last train, and no one
had asked where he was going when he said he was going to the country.
And, of course, it had been too late to telegraph on Saturday night, and how
was he to know, a boy of his late habits, that the telegraph offices were open
early on Sunday morning? All these explanations were most plausible—the
worst of such things, however, is that, plausible as they are, they satisfy
nobody. But it annoyed Mr. Beresford immensely to find that Oswald’s
unexpected absence took up all Mrs. Meredith’s thoughts. She had no
leisure for him, though surely he ought to have been at least as important as
Oswald. Whatever he talked to her about, she replied to him with something
about her boy. As if her boy could have come to any harm! as if it was not
all his own levity and selfishness! Mr. Beresford, having an object of his
own to pursue, was quite indignant with and impatient of Oswald. What
was he, a frivolous do-nothing unsatisfactory young man, that so much fuss
should be made about him? He was one of ‘the boys’—what more could be
said? and how unsatisfactory the best of women were when this motive
came into play! Cara never thus distracted her father’s mind; he did not
think of her. To be sure she was a girl, and girls never get into scrapes. He
did not quite like, it is true, the task of opening this question, of which his
mind was full, to Cara. He thought, perhaps, that when all was settled, she
(meaning Mrs. Meredith) might do it. Women know best how to deal with
girls; but to make Cara, whatever might happen to her, into a hindrance of
other intercourse, into an obstacle which stopped everything, that was not a
weakness of which he would be capable. Mr. Beresford did not scoff at
women; it was not a sentiment congenial to him; but still he had a feeling
that in this respect the comparative strength and weakness of male and
female character was certainly shown. But he would not say so rudely. He
was obliged to submit.
On Monday morning a telegram did come from Oswald. He had been
detained; would write to explain, but did not expect to get home till
Thursday or Friday; please send portmanteau to Cloak-room, Clapham
Junction. ‘Do any of his friends live in that quarter?’ Mrs. Meredith asked
Edward, with astonishment. ‘He has friends everywhere,’ said Edward, with
a half sigh. This pleased the mother, though he had not said it with such an
intention. Yes, he had friends everywhere. He was a harum-scarum boy, too
careless perhaps, but everywhere, wherever he went, he had friends; and the
portmanteau was sent, and the letter of explanation waited for—but it did
not come. In short, the week had nearly run round again without any news
of him, and everything else was arrested, waited for Oswald’s reappearance.
Mrs. Meredith evaded all recurrence to the more important subject by
constantly falling back upon Oswald—perhaps she was rather glad of the
chance of escape it gave her—and Mr. Beresford was no nearer a settlement
than ever. This fretted him, and put him in a sort of secondary position
which he did not like, but which it was useless to struggle against; and so
the days and the hours went on.
It was the Friday when two visitors almost at the same moment
approached the two adjoining houses in the Square, both of them with faces
full of seriousness, and even anxiety. One of them was Mr. Maxwell in his
brougham, who sprang out with a kind of nervous alacrity unusual to him,
and knocked at Mrs. Meredith’s door. The other was a solid and portly
clergyman, who got out of a four-wheeled cab, paying his fare with a
careful calculation of the distance which produced bad language from his
driver, and knocked at Mr. Beresford’s. They were admitted about the same
moment, and received in the two corresponding rooms with nothing but a
wall between them; and both of them had very serious business in hand.
Cara’s visitor was Mr. Burchell, from the Rectory, who asked, with a
countenance full of strange things, and with many apologies, whether Miss
Beresford had lately seen ‘our Agnes.’ Agnes! the name made Cara start.
‘I have not seen anyone but Roger since I left the Hill. I hope he—I
mean all, are well. Is Agnes in town, Mr. Burchell?’ Agnes was four or five
years older than Cara, and therefore out of her sphere.
‘I thought your aunt would certainly have mentioned it to you; indeed,
Mrs. Burchell was much surprised that she did not see her when she was in
town. Agnes has been in—an educational establishment for some time. We
are a little anxious about her,’ said the Rector, with a quaver in his voice.
‘Is she ill?’ Cara did not love the clergyman under whom she had sat for
ten years, but her heart was touched by that unmistakable trembling in his
commonplace voice.
‘I don’t suppose she is ill; we—don’t know. The fact is she left—the
House last Saturday—and has never come back. We don’t know what has
become of her,’ he said, with real trouble. ‘You won’t mention it to anyone.
Oh, I suppose it is nothing, or something quite easily explainable; but her
mother is anxious—and I thought you might have seen her. It is nothing,
nothing of any real consequence,’ he added, trying to smile, but with a
quiver in his lips. He was stout and commonplace and indeed disagreeable,
but emotion had its effect upon him as well as another, and he was anxious
about his child. He looked Cara wistfully in the face, as if trying to read in
the lines of it something more than she would allow.
‘Agnes! the House—O Mr. Burchell!’ said Cara, waking up suddenly to
a full sense of all that was in the communication. ‘Do you mean to say that
it was Agnes—Agnes! that was the Agnes in the House?’
Mr. Maxwell was more uncertain how to open the object of his visit. He
sat for some time talking of la pluie et le beau temps. He did not know how
to begin. Then he contrived little traps for Mrs. Meredith, hoping to bring
her to betray herself, and open a way for him. He asked about Cara, then
about Mr. Beresford, and how he heard he had given up all ideas of going
away. But, with all this, he did not produce the desired result, and it was
necessary at last, unless he meant to lose his time altogether, to introduce
his subject broadly without preface. He did so with much clearing of his
throat.
 ‘I have taken rather a bold thing upon me,’ he said. ‘I have thought it my
duty—I hope you will forgive me, Mrs. Meredith. I have come to speak to
you on this subject.’
‘On what subject?’ she said simply, with a smile.
This made it more difficult than ever. ‘About you and Mr. Beresford,’ he
said, abruptly blurting it out. ‘Don’t be offended, for heaven’s sake! You
ought to have known from the first; but I can’t let you walk blindly into—
other relations—without letting you know.’
‘Doctor, I hope you are not going to say anything that will make a breach
between us,’ said Mrs. Meredith. ‘You have no right to suppose that I am
about to form other relations—I only a few months a widow! I hope I have
done nothing to forfeit my friends’ respect.’
‘Then I am not too late,’ he said, with an air of relief. ‘There is still time!
I am very glad of that. Respect—forfeit your friends’ respect? who could
suppose such a thing? You have only too much of your friends’ respect. We
would all go through fire and water for you.’
‘Thanks, thanks,’ she said; ‘but you must not let me be gossiped about,’
she added, after a moment, which made the doctor, though he was not of a
delicate countenance, blush.
‘That is all very well,’ he said, ‘but those who have so many friends, and
friends so warmly interested, must expect a little talk. It has been spoken of,
that there was something, that there might be—in short, that Mr. Beresford
and you—forgive me! I don’t mean to say that it would not be most
suitable. Everybody knows how fond he is of you—and not much wonder.’
‘Indeed, indeed you must not talk to me so,’ cried Mrs. Meredith,
distressed; ‘my affairs are not public business, Mr. Maxwell.’
‘I came to tell you,’ he said, doggedly, ‘something you ought to know. I
have no dislike to James Beresford. On the contrary, we are old friends; we
were boys together. I did my best to shelter him from any reproach at the
time. Everything I could do I did, and I think I succeeded. Perhaps now
when one comes to reflect, it would have been better if I had not succeeded
so well. But I could not stand by and see him ruined, see his peace of mind
destroyed.’
‘Are you talking of Mr. Beresford? Have you lost your senses, doctor?
what do you mean?’
 ‘You remember all that happened when Mrs. Beresford died?’
‘I remember—oh yes—poor Annie! how she suffered, poor soul, and
how truly he mourned for her—how heart-broken he was.’
‘He had occasion,’ said the doctor, grimly.
‘Had occasion! I cannot imagine what you mean—there was never a
better husband,’ said Mrs. Meredith, with some fervour; ‘never one who
loved a woman better, or was more tender with her.’
‘Too tender. I am not saying that I condemn him absolutely. There are
cases in which in one’s heart one might approve. Perhaps his was one of
these cases; but anyhow, Mrs. Meredith, you ought to know.’
She got impatient, for she, too, had the feeling that to see her friend’s
faults herself was one thing, but to have him found fault with quite another.
‘I should have thought that I knew Mr. Beresford quite as well as you did,
doctor,’ she said, trying to give a lighter tone to the conversation. ‘I have
certainly seen a great deal more of him for all these years.’
‘You could not know this,’ said Mr. Maxwell, ‘nor would I have told you
but for the extremity of the case. Listen! She might have lingered I cannot
tell how long—weeks, months—it was even possible years.’
‘Yes!’ the assent was no assent, but an exclamation of excitement and
wonder.
‘I believe he meant it for the best. She was mad about having something
given to her to put her out of her misery, as soon as we knew that she was
past hope. Mrs. Meredith, I feel bound to tell you—when you know you can
judge for yourself. He must have given her something that day after the
consultation. It is no use mincing words—he must have given her—her
death.’
‘Doctor! do you know what you are saying?’ She rose up from her chair
—then sank back in it looking as if she were about to faint.
‘I know too well what I am saying. I huddled it up that there might be no
inquiry. I don’t doubt she insisted upon it, and I don’t blame him. No, I
should not have had the courage to do it, but I don’t blame him—altogether.
It is a very difficult question. But you ought not to marry him—to be
allowed to marry him in ignorance.’
She made no answer. The shock came upon her with all the more force
that her mind was already weakened by anxiety. Given her her death! what
did that mean? Did it mean that he had killed poor Annie, this man who was
her dearest friend? A shiver shook all her frame. ‘I think you must be
wrong. I hope you are wrong,’ she said. It was all she could do to keep her
teeth from chattering. The sudden horror chilled and froze her. ‘Oh, Mr.
Maxwell, he never could have done it! No, no, I will never believe it,’ she
said.
‘But I know it,’ said the doctor; ‘there could be no doubt of it; I could
not have been deceived, and it was no crime in my eyes. He did it in love
and kindness—he did it to serve her. But still no woman should marry him,
without knowing at least——’
‘There was never any question of that,’ she said, hurriedly, in the
commotion of her mind. Then it seemed cowardly of her to forsake him.
She paused. ‘He is worthy of any woman’s confidence. I will not hear a
word against him. He did not do it. I am sure he did not do it! or, if he did,
he was not to blame.’
The words had not left her lips when the door was opened, and the
subject of this strange conversation, Mr. Beresford himself, came into the
room. They were both too agitated for concealment. She looked at the
doctor with sudden terror. She was afraid of a quarrel, as women so often
are. But Maxwell himself was too much moved to make any pretences. He
rose up suddenly, with an involuntary start; but he was shaken out of
ordinary caution by the excitement of what he had done. He went up to the
new comer, who regarded him with quiet surprise, without any salutation or
form of politeness. ‘Beresford,’ he said, ‘I will not deceive you. I have been
telling her what it is right she should know. I don’t judge you; I don’t
condemn you; but whatever happens, she has a right to know.’
It is one of the penalties or privileges of excitement that it ignores
ignorance so to speak, and expects all the world to understand its position at
a glance. James Beresford gazed with calm though quiet astonishment upon
the man who advanced to meet him with tragedy in his tone. ‘What is the
matter?’ he said, with the simplicity of surprise. Then seeing how pale Mrs.
Meredith was, he went on with some anxiety, ‘Not anything wrong with
Oswald? I trust not that?’
Mrs. Meredith stirred in her chair and held out her hand to him. She
could not rise. She looked at him with an agitated smile. ‘I put perfect faith
in you, perfect faith!’ she said, ‘notwithstanding what anyone may say.’
 ‘In me!’ he said, looking from one to another. He could not imagine
what they meant.
‘Beresford,’ said Maxwell again, ‘I will not hide it from you. It has been
in my mind all this time. I have never been able to look upon you as I did
before; at a crisis like this I could hold my tongue no longer. I have been
telling all that happened at the death of your first poor wife.’
‘My first—!’ the exclamation was under his breath, and Maxwell
thought he was overcome with horror by the recollection; but that was not
what he was thinking of: his first wife!—there was something sickening in
the words. Was this his Annie that was meant? It seemed profanation,
sacrilege. He heard nothing but that word. Maxwell did not understand him,
but there was another who did. The doctor went on,
‘I have never said a word about it till this day, and never would but for
what was coming. You know that I took the responsibility, and kept you free
from question at the time.’
‘What does he mean?’ This question, after a wondering gaze at the other,
Beresford addressed to Mrs. Meredith behind him. ‘All this is a puzzle to
me, and not a pleasant one; what does he mean?’
‘This is too much,’ said the doctor. ‘Be a man, and stand to it now at
least. I have not blamed you, though I would not have done it myself. I have
told her that you consented—to what I have no doubt was poor Mrs.
Beresford’s prayer—and gave her—her death——’
‘I—gave her her death—you are mad, Maxwell! I, who would have died
a dozen times over to save her!’
‘There is no inconsistency in that. You could not save her, and you gave
her—what? I never inquired. Anyhow it killed her, poor girl! It was what
she wanted. Am I blaming you? But, James Beresford, whatever may have
been in the past, it is your duty to be open now, and she ought to know.’
‘My God, will you not listen to me?’ cried Beresford, driven to despair.
He had tried to stop him, to interrupt him, but in vain. Maxwell had only
spoken out louder and stronger. He had determined to do it. He was
absolutely without doubts on the matter, and he was resolute not to be
silenced. ‘She ought to know,’ he went on saying under his breath to
himself.
‘But it is not true. It is an invention, it is a mistake! I do anything against
her dear life!—even in suffering, even in misery, was she not everything to
me?’
‘That is all very well to say. You did it in love, not in hatred, I
acknowledge that. Beresford, no one here will betray you. Why not be bold
and own to what you did? I could not be deceived; it was from your hand
and no other your wife got her death. How could I, her doctor, be
deceived?’
‘Dr. Maxwell,’ said a low voice from the door; and they all started with a
violent shock, as if it had been Annie Beresford herself come back from the
grave. Mrs. Meredith rose hastily and went towards this strange apparition.
It was Cara, with cheeks perfectly colourless, with blue eyes dilated,
standing as she had entered, transfixed by those terrible words. But the girl
took no notice of her friend’s rush towards her. She put out her hand to put
Mrs. Meredith away, and kept her eyes fixed on the doctor, as if there was
no one else in the room.
‘Dr. Maxwell,’ said Cara, her young bosom heaving, ‘I have come just in
time. You are making a great, great mistake, for that is not true.’
‘Cara, child, go away, go away; I never meant this for you.’
‘No one knows but me,’ she said; ‘I was in the room all the time. I have
never forgotten one thing, nor a word she said. She wanted him to do it, but
he would not. He rushed away. I did not understand then what it meant.’
The girl stood trembling, without any support, so slight, so young, so
fragile, with her pale face. Her father had scarcely thought of Cara before
since she was the plaything of his younger life. All at once his eyes seemed
to be opened, and his heart. He went to her by an irresistible impulse, and
put his arm round her. Love seemed to come to life in him with very terror
of what he was about to hear.
‘It was not you!’ he said, with a low cry of anguish; ‘it was not you!’
‘She would not let me,’ said Cara. ‘I asked to do it, but she would not let
me. She looked up—to God,’ cried the girl, the tears rushing to her eyes,
‘and took it. Did not He know everything? You would not be angry, papa?
you would not have cast me away if I had taken something to get free of
pain? Would He? He was her father too.’
‘O, Cara, no one blames her—no one blames her!’ said Mrs. Meredith,
with unrestrained tears.
 ‘She looked up to God,’ said the girl, with her voice full of awe. ‘She
said I was to tell you; but I did not understand what it meant then, and
afterwards I could not speak. It has always seemed to stand between us,
papa, that I had this to tell you and could not speak.’
‘My child,’ said the father, his lips trembling, ‘it has been my fault; but
nothing shall stand between us any more.’
The two others looked on for a moment with conflicting feelings. Mrs.
Meredith looked at them with generous tears and satisfaction, yet with a
faint pang. That was over now. She had always intended it should end thus;
but yet for the moment, such is the strange constitution of the heart, it gave
her a passing pang. As for the doctor, he gathered his gloves and his hat
together with great confusion. He had made a fool of himself. Whatever the
others might do, how could he contemplate this solemn disclosure he had
come to make, which had been turned into the officious interference of a
busybody? He took no leave of anyone; but when they were all engaged
with each other, made a bolt for the door of the back drawing-room, and got
out, very red, very uncomfortable, and full of self-disgust. He was touched
too by the scene which had been so unexpectedly brought before him, and
felt tears, very unusual to him, tingling in the corners of his eyes. He met
Edward on the stairs; but Edward was too much preoccupied to observe
how Maxwell was looking.
‘Do you know,’ he said, ‘if Miss Beresford is in the drawing-room?
There is a gentleman waiting for her downstairs.’
‘If you mean Cara,’ said the doctor, ‘she is there, and the mistress of the
situation, I can tell you. Oh, never mind; I can let myself out. You’ll find
them all there.’
Edward stared a little, but went on to deliver his message. ‘I hope I am
not disturbing anyone,’ he said, in the formal manner which he had put on;
‘but there is someone, very impatient, waiting for Miss Beresford—I mean
Cara,’ he added, half ashamed of himself, ‘downstairs.’
Cara roused herself from her father’s arm. It revived her more than
anything else to see that Edward was turning away again to leave the room.
She shook the tears from her eyes, and roused herself into sudden energy.
‘That was why I came,’ she said. ‘O, Mrs. Meredith, where is Oswald? We
must find him, or they will all break their hearts.’
‘Who—you, Cara, my darling? no one shall break your heart.’
 ‘No, no,’ she cried, with a little start of impatience. ‘It is time this was
over. He never would tell you the truth. Oh, we must find him, wherever he
is, for Agnes has gone too.’
They all gathered about with looks of wonder, Edward making but one
step from the door where he stood. His countenance gleamed over with a
sudden light; he put out his hands to her unawares.
‘Agnes—who is Agnes!’ said Mrs. Meredith. ‘O, Cara, what does it all
mean? I know nothing about him—where he is. He was to come back to-
day.’
‘Agnes is Agnes Burchell,’ said Cara. ‘He has been telling me of her all
this time. He has been spending his whole time going after her. And she is
gone too, and it is her father who is downstairs. Oh, think how we can find
them! Her father is very anxious. Oswald should not have done it,’ said
Cara, with the solemnity of her age. ‘I always begged him, and he always
promised, to ask you to go.’
‘This is extraordinary news,’ said Mrs. Meredith, dropping into the
nearest chair. She was trembling with this renewed agitation. ‘And you
knew it, Cara; you have been his confidante? Oh, what a strange mistake we
have all made!’
‘It was not my fault,’ said Cara, softly. She gave a furtive glance at
Edward as she spoke, and his mother looked at him too. Edward’s
countenance was transformed, his eyes were lit up, smiles trembling like an
illumination over his face. Mrs. Meredith’s heart gave a leap in her
motherly bosom. She might have been wounded that it was none of her
doing; but she was too generous for so poor a thought. He will not go to
India now, she said to herself in her heart. The pang which Cara had given
her unwittingly was nothing to the compensation thus received from her
equally unconscious hands.
 CHAPTER XLIII.

THE WORST SCRAPE OF ALL.

A rumour had spread in the little hamlet which had gathered about the
junction, of some travellers who had missed their train. The faintest rumour
echoes a long way in the quiet of the country, and as the village was chiefly
formed of the cottages of railway labourers and porters, it was natural that
this kind of report should travel more swiftly than anything else. Oswald
and his companion walked down the still road in the soft dusk like two
ghosts. In the mind of Agnes nothing less than despair was supreme. What
was to become of her? Shame, disgrace, destruction, the loss of all things.
How could she dare to face the wondering women in the House? Sister
Mary Jane might understand her, but who else? And what comments there
would be, and what talk! And home—how could she go home? To spend a
night at an inn at all was something entirely strange to Agnes. But thus—all
alone, and with a gentleman; one who was not related to her, of whom she
could give no account or befitting explanation! A wild fancy seized her of
flying from him, disappearing into some corner behind a high hedge, some
nook under the trees. But this was as futile as everything else, and might be
worse than anything else. She had the bondage of custom before her, though
she had put herself into a position in which all her familiar habits were
thrown to the winds. And yet going to the inn with Oswald was about as
bad as spending a night in direful desolation in the dark corner of a field.
The one was not much better than the other! If she could have got away at
once, it was the field she would have chosen. She could have crept into a
corner in the dark, and there waited, though she might have been frightened,
till the morning broke and there was an early train. Had she but done that at
once, stolen away before he could see what she was doing! But she could
not disappear from his side now, at the risk of being pursued and argued
with and entreated and brought back. So, with her mind in a blank of
despair, not knowing what to think, she walked close by his side between
the hedgerows through the soft darkness. Oh, what a punishment was this
for the indiscretion of the day! It was indiscretion, perhaps, but surely the