Camryn O’Connor

Research Essay Draft

Professor Koehler

11/21/2024

The One Where Friends Changes Social Norms

I think the first show I ever truly watched fully was Friends. An iconic friend group

going through life filled with humor and love. The conventional wisdom categorizes Friends as a

sitcom, one of the most popular and iconic examples of the genre. It’s widely known for its

lighthearted, comedic portrayal of a group of friends navigating life, love, and work in New York

City. The show mixes humor with occasional emotional depth, but it sticks closely to the sitcom

format with standalone episodes, recurring gags, and character-driven humor. Friends also

exemplifies the ensemble cast approach, where no single character dominates the storyline, and

all six main characters have equally important roles in the narrative.

Friends shows as a reflection of broader social trends, life lessons and relationships, and

how it redefined certain conventions. Friends captured the changing dynamics of relationships,

gender roles, job aspirations, and societal norms, serving as a mirror for many of the larger social

trends of the 1990s and early 2000s. During the 90’s, women were believed to be perfect in

home roles like bringing up the children, and taking care of men but by the end of the 90’s era

things changed dramatically when women realized their capability and they featured themselves

in places like the labor market and in the political field. Today, gender roles in the workplace are

more fluid, women climbing the ladder for leadership roles. Stay at home dads and single fathers

are also more visible and accepted. So, did the TV show Friends play a role in shaping today’s

gender roles and social norms?

 In a content analysis conducted by Kelly Reed, she explores the gender stereotypes in

Friends as well. While Reed explores the show in which how the interactions between the three

female and three men characters. Reed says in her analysis “From the 1970s sitcoms to the 1990s

sitcoms, the stereotype of women on television changed from being inadequate to being the head

of the house. They were given more power (Senzani, n.d.). Lastly, women are often portrayed in

sitcoms as smart, witty, and attractive. When the women portray this stereotype, they play two

different roles: the woman who is physically and intellectually superior to her husband, and the

woman who is inferior to the male dominance.”

Chandler and Monica’s dynamic changed the traditional ideas of masculinity and

femininity, offering a progressive portrayal of partnership that emphasized equality and

emotional connection. Traditional ideas of masculinity included; emotional restraint, physical

toughness, provider role, assertiveness and leadership. Chandler in Friends was not any of these

“stereotypical masculine traits.” Monica and Chandler, reflected the way society's perceptions of

equality, masculinity, and femininity were changing. During an episode called “The one with the

Cop”, Ross gets a new couch and struggles to get it up to his apartment. You might remember

him screaming “PIVOT” a million times during this scene. Rachel and Ross weren't able to get

the couch up so they called for backup. Rachel then comes along with Chandler and Ross says

“You brought Chandler!Monica would have been better than Chandler.” Chandler then replies “I

would be offended but Monica is freakishly strong.” In another episode, Joey’s head is stuck in

Monica and Chandler’s door. Monica says “Chandler where are your tools” He responds “Oh I

must have left them in my bulldozer!” Chandler makes fun of his lack of traditional “masculine

traits.” Monica, who is the more practical and hands-on one in their relationship, expects him to

have tools, but he responds with sarcasm, pretending to be the “manly man” who drives a
bulldozer. In the show, Chandler is drawn to Monica’s masculinity and strength because it

compliments his more anxious personality. I believe Chandler has his own issues with

masculinity due to his father’s gender transition and growing up in a complex family dynamic.

For some background, Chandler’s dad, Charles Bing, is a drag performer in Las Vegas.

Chandler's relationship with his father is complicated, as Charles’s lifestyle and the split between

his parents caused Chandler a lot of confusion and embarrassment growing up. His parents'

chaotic relationship, divorce, and unconventional family dynamics left him with lasting

insecurities, especially about masculinity and relationships.

Joey is shown as the manly man in Friends. He’s confident, physically strong, and a

womanizer. He enjoys traditionally "masculine" things like sports, eating huge amounts of food

(especially sandwiches and pizza), and avoiding anything too intellectual or “sophisticated” by

the group’s standards. His charm and confidence contribute to his reputation as a ladies' man; he

knows how to flirt, has a certain “bad boy” appeal, and often brings women home for short-term

relationships. By putting Joey alongside Chandler, who is more sensitive and prone to sarcasm,

the show creates an interesting contrast that brings out different shades of what it means to be “a

man.” Joey and Chandler’s relationship in Friends presents a refreshing and progressive take on

male friendship, especially for the time period in which the show aired. Their close, emotionally

expressive bond challenges traditional ideas of male friendships that often emphasize stoicism,

emotional restraint, and competition. Instead, Joey and Chandler’s friendship is openly

affectionate, supportive, and deeply loyal, qualities not typically associated with male friendships

in the media during the 1990s. Their relationship shows that men can have an emotionally

intimate friendship without compromising their masculinity. For example, they hug frequently,

aren’t afraid to say “I love you,” and even have moments of jealousy and vulnerability with each
other. This openness between them contrasts sharply with the “tough” and emotionally distant

friendships often depicted in media, where men might bond primarily through shared activities

(like sports) without verbalizing feelings or affection. Joey and Chandler, by contrast,

communicate openly about their love and friendship, showing that male bonds can be as

emotionally nuanced and fulfilling as female friendships. Making Joey and Chandler best friends

counterbalances the stereotypical friendship of men and instead makes them men who

compliment and support each other.

If Chandler did have a masculine father figure in his life would he have grown up to be

less anxious and more a man’s man like Joey?

The creators' decision to have each of the six main characters challenge different aspects

of traditional gender roles in unique ways was a smart choice. By presenting diverse challenges

to these roles, the series has the potential to resonate with a broader audience. This approach not

only earns the show respect and offers new perspectives, but it also allows viewers to relate to at

least one of the main characters. Relatability fosters a deeper connection with the series,

encouraging audiences to share it with others, watch it repeatedly, and organically promote it

within their social circles.

 Works cited

“Evolution of Gender Roles from 90s to Now - Technology Has Been Associated with This
Change Because.” Studocu, www.studocu.com/en-us/document/bowling-green-state-
university/german-for-graduate-students/evolution-of-gender-roles-from-90s-to-now/
24342506. Accessed 21 Nov. 2024.

Gender Stereotypes in the Sitcom Friends: Content Analysis,

kellyreedblog.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/gender-stereotypes-in-the-sitcom-friends.pdf.
Accessed 21 Nov. 2024.

https://www.studocu.com/en-us/document/bowling-green-state-university/german-for-graduate-students/
evolution-of-gender-roles-from-90s-to-now/24342506

https://kellyreedblog.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/gender-stereotypes-in-the-sitcom-
friends.pdf