UHV Unit 3
UHV Unit 3
UHV Unit 3
'Trust' - the Foundational Value in Relationship, 'Respect' - as the Right Evaluation, Other Feelings, Justice in
Human – to - Human Relationship, Understanding Harmony in the Society, Vision for the Universal Human Order.
Practice Sessions: PS7 Exploring the Feeling of Trust, PS8 Exploring the Feeling of Respect,
PS9 Exploring Systems to fulfil Human Goal
Every human being is born in a family and is part of a family. The family is the basic unit
or building block of human organisation. It provides a base for appreciating, accepting,
understanding and practicing to live in relationship and harmony (order).
Understanding Relationship
We will now explore into the four important aspects of relationship:
Relationship is between one Self and the other Self. It is the Self which is recognizing the
relationship, and not the Body. It is the Self which relates to the other, and not the Body.
2. There are feelings in relationship – in one Self (I1) for the other Self (I2)
The important issue in human relationship is that of the feelings. We can see that feelings
arein the Self, not in the Body. It is the Self which has the feelings and which recognises
the feelings. To understand relationship, one has to understand the Self and the naturally
acceptablefeelings in the Self.
Key Takeaways
Relationship already exists – we don’t have to create it; rather we only have to recognise
and fulfil it. The family is the basic unit of human-human interaction. The basic issue in
family is that of relationship. In relationship, there are nine feelings (values) that can be
clearly understood and lived with. There is harmony in the family, mutual happiness in
the family, when we understand the feelings and ensure in our living.
'Trust' – the Foundational Value in Relationship
Now we will explore the first feeling, which is the foundational feeling (value) in
relationship.
Feeling of Trust
Trust is to be assured that the other intends to make me happy and prosperous.
1a. Do I want to make myself happy? 1b. Am I able to make myself always
happy? 2a. Do I want to make the other happy? 2b. Am I able to make the other
always
happy?
3a. Does the other want to make 3b. Is the other able to make
himself/herself happy? himself/herselfalways happy?
4a. Does the other want to make me happy? 4b. Is the other able to make me
always
happy?
On the basis of lack of competence, we conclude about the lack of intention of the other.
When we doubt their intention, instead of accepting the other as a relative, we have a
feeling of opposition. This is the common mistake that we make in relationship today.
Now that we have clarity about intention and competence, explore this question:
If you have unconditional, continuous trust on intention, on the natural acceptance of the
otherand if the other is lacking competence, what will you do?
a) Try to improve upon his competence
b) Get irritated
c) Get angry
d) Have a feeling of opposition
The answer is obviously (a). It is a response which indicates trust on intention. All
otheranswers are reactions based on doubt on intention.
Now with these indicators, find out how many people are there in your life on whom
you havetrust on intention (natural acceptance) which is unconditional and continuous.
Thus, if we are able to see intention and competence distinctly, we will be able to place a
tick mark in 4a. We will be assured of the intention of the other human being. And with
that, we will make a programme of interaction with right evaluation of our competence
and theircompetence (so, this is not ‘blind’ trust).
With the feeling of trust, one is able to see it clearly that the intention is same for all, to
be happy and make other happy. The only difference lies in the level of competence.
Key Takeaways
Trust is to be assured that the other has a natural acceptance (intention) to make me happy
and prosperous. Trust on intention is the foundation of relationship. It is the beginning of
mutual development. A common mistake is to evaluate oneself on the basis of one’s
intention (and conclude that I am good) and the other on the basis of their lack of
competence (thus doubt their intention and conclude that the other is bad).
Respect– As the Right Evaluation
Out of the nine feelings in relationship, we tried to understand the feeling of Trust.
With trust on intention, the relationship starts. We will now explore the feeling of
respect. Let us see, when do wefeel respected? How do I respect others?
Feeling of Respect
When we are rightly evaluated, we feel respected. When we are not rightly evaluated,
we feel disrespected.
Thus, we can see that the other (Self) is similar to me. This is the minimum content
of respect for ahuman being.
Disrespect Arising out of Differentiation leading to Discrimination
In general, what we are doing in the name of respect today is differentiating and
discriminating.
First set of differentiation is on the basis of body– on the basis of age, gender, race and
physical strength. This is based on the gross misunderstanding that human being =
Body. The truth is that human being =co-existence of the Self and the Body.
The second set of differentiation is made on the basis of physical facility – on the
basis of wealth andpost. The gross misunderstanding here is that physical facility =
happiness. The truth is that happinessis to be in a state of harmony.
The third basis of differentiation is on the basis of beliefs – on the basis of different
isms (thought systems like socialism, capitalism, etc.), different sects, and different
sets of information prevalent in the society. This is founded on the misunderstanding
that if the pre-conditioning of the other matches with mine, then the other is
respectable, otherwise not. The truth is that pre-conditioning and right understanding
are two different things.
The complete content of respect is to be able to see that ‘the other is similar to me
and we are complementary’.
Thus, respect is right evaluation (of intention and competence on the basis of Self).
We are similar at the level of purpose, programme and potential and we are
complementary at the level of competence.
Key Takeaways
Respect is right evaluation at the level of the Self. The complete content of respect is
to see that the other is similar to me in terms of purpose, programme and potential;
and we are complementary to each other in terms of competence.
Over evaluation, under/otherwise evaluation and discrimination are disrespect.
Other Naturally Acceptable Feelings in Relationship
In the previous three lectures, we explored the feelings of trust and respect. Now, we
will discuss otherfeelings, and understand our participation in the family.
3. Affection
Affection is the feeling of acceptance for the other as one’s relative. Lack of affection
is seen in the form of opposition, jealousy, etc. The feelings of trust and respect are
essential to have the feeling of affection. When we have the feelings of trust, we feel
related to the other; otherwise we may feel opposed to the other.
4. Care
With the feeling of affection, one naturally takes the responsibility for development
of the relative – both at the level of Self as well as at the level of Body. Being
responsible to the Body of one’s relativeis Care.
5. Guidance
6. Reverence
Glory is the feeling of acceptance for those who have made effort for excellence.
For all those people whom we call great people, when we accept the effort made for
excellence by them,to whatever extent they are able to achieve it, we naturally have a
feeling of glory for them.
8. Gratitude
Gratitude is the feeling of acceptance for those who have made the effort for my
excellence.
In our life, there may be so many people who have been of help to us in the process
of understandingharmony and living in harmony. So, we have this feeling of gratitude
for them. Gratitude is a significant feeling in the development of relationship.
9. Love
Love is the feeling of being related to everyone, to all. It starts from affection, which
we have alreadyexplored. If this feeling expands to many and ultimately to all, it is
the feeling of love. So, we begin with the feeling of affection, and complete it with
the feeling of love. That is why, Love is called complete value.
The feeling of love is not something which is based on sensation. If there is a feeling
on the basis of sensation, this is the case of infatuation where the sensual pleasure
becomes the major goal. Infatuation is conditional – it may last only as long as you
are able to get the sensation or you have hope of getting happiness through sensation.
It is very temporary; it does not last for long. Once the effect wears off, then the long -
term issues of feelings become prominent.
With this preparation in the family, I have the ability to participate meaningfully in
the larger society –in the neighbourhood, in the community and so on.
Justice in Relationship
To expand it a bit:
• Recognition of relationship means recognizing the naturally acceptable
feelings in relationshiprightly.
• Fulfilment of relationship means
o Ensuring the naturally acceptable feelings in oneself.
o Living with responsibility with the other with these feelings,
forming the basis ofrelationship. This makes the other comfortable
and assured.
o Making effort for mutual development, i.e. development of one’s own
competence andbeing of help to the other in developing their
competence.
• Evaluation means verifying that I have the right feeling, I am able to express
it properly, theright feeling has reached to the other and the other is able to
identify it as the right feeling.
When the recognition, fulfilment and evaluation are right from my side, I feel happy.
When the other is able to evaluate the expression of my feeling rightly, then (s)he
also feels happy. Developing this competence may take time.
Justice is desirable in the family and beyond the family, all the way to the world
family.
Key Takeaways
The other feelings in relationship include affection, care, guidance, reverence, glory,
gratitude and love. Love is the feeling of acceptance of all; it is the complete value.
Justice is ensuring these feelings in oneself and expressing them to the other, leading
to mutual happiness. Justice begins fromfamily and extends to the world family,
leading to undivided society.
So far, we have explored harmony in the human being and harmony in the family. In
the sequence, thenext level of living for a human being is society. We can see very
much see that we can conceive of asociety only if it has families living together in a
relationship of mutual fulfillment otherwise it is justlike a crowd or battlefield.
Education-Sanskar
Education is to develop right understanding of the harmony at all levels of being – from
self to the entireexistence (individual, family, society, and nature/existence).
and
Sanskar is to develop the basic acceptances of the harmony at various levels.
Health of the Body is indicated by the fact that it is able to act according to the
instruction of the Selfand the different parts of the Body are in harmony.
Production-Work
Work is the effort a human being does on the rest of nature and Production is the
physical facilityobtained from work.
Regarding what to produce, we have already discussed while exploring the proposals
about prosperity, health and self-regulation – we have to produce physical facility
required for nurturing, protection andright utilisation of the Body.
Similarly, pollution indicates that we are producing something which does not return
to the cycle in nature or it is produced at a rate that is faster than the rate at which it
can return to the cycle in nature. Plastic, for example, does not degrade, it does not
return to the cycle of nature for many years.
Justice-Preservation
We had discussed earlier that in human-human relationship, the feeling is the core
issue. In order to ensure justice in the society, we need to develop the competence to
understand and ensure justice in every individual. In case someone is not able to
develop this competence and ends up doing injusticethen:
a) Stop the him from doing further injustice, as well as
b) Help him/her to develop the competence for ensuring justice.
In the present system, mostly we seem to be restricting ourselves at (a) and not doing
(b).
Preservation has to do with relationship of human being with the rest of nature.
Preservation is the recognition of relationship of human being with the rest of nature,
its fulfilment and evaluation leading to mutual fulfilment.
Precisely, preservation would mean enrichment, protection and right utilization of the
rest of the nature. Preservation ensures 1. Prosperity in human being
2. Enrichment, protection and right utilization of the rest of the
nature
Justice ensures fearlessness (trust) in the society and preservation ensures the mutual
fulfilment (co-existence) with rest of the nature.
Exchange-Storage
The sharing is within the family, or to the extent one has been able to accept
relationship. Beyond that is exchange. Through sharing and exchange of physical
facility, each family can have all that it needs,
i.e. there is mutual fulfilment.
The scope of the society is from family order to world family order. Every human
being has a role in one or more of the social systems, starting from the family order,
then the family cluster order and so on to the nation family order and ultimately, the
world family order, leading to universal human order.
Family order refers to the system in a family of responsible people living together for
the common human goal. The family cluster order is the next larger unit. It is the
system that a group of families evolve in order to fulfil those goals of individual
families which require the participation of more people than the family has. The scope
of the system from the family order to the world family order is indicated below. It is
ensured through successively larger and larger complementary units,
Family Order → Family Cluster Order → Village Order → Village Cluster Order
→ … → Nation Order… → World Family Order
In this way, the society with happiness in every individual, prosperity in every family,
fearlessness (trust) in the society and co-existence (mutual fulfilment) in
nature/existence is realized. This is one’sparticipation (value) vis-à-vis society.
Key Takeaways
At the level of society, the human goal is right
understanding and right feeling (happiness) in every
individual, prosperity in every family, fearlessness (trust) in
society and co-existence (mutual fulfilment) in
nature/existence. This goal is fulfilled by human order, i.e.
systems for education-sanskar, health-self regulation,
production- work, justice-preservation and exchange-
storage. These systems start with the family order, and are
interconnected right up to world family order, leading to
universal human order. The natural process of development
of a child in an environment of relationship needs to be
understood and fulfilled so that the child grows into a human
being who can have the competence to participate in the
universal human order.