ANGELIC VENGEANCE

GODHOOD BOOK ONE

by Cristina Russo
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 Copyright © 2024 Cristina Russo

All rights reserved

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living
or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or
by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written
permission of the publisher.

Angelic Vengeance:
Cover and internal design by: Cristina Russo

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 To the fighters,
Stay fierce.

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 CONTENTS

Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Synopsis
Dear Reader,
Author’s note
Part 1
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Part 2
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
PART 3
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
EPILOGUE
Books by Cristina Russo
Keep in touch <3
Aknowledgements

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 SYNOPSIS
She trusted no one before him. A mistake that could cost her life.

Nicknamed The Angel of Death for her lethal beauty, an ex-assassin cannot seem to escape her past.

DEADLY. COLD. STOICAL.

MARIA PÉREZ has survived the criminal underworld by following one simple rule: trust no one.
Raising herself on the streets of New York City has taught her everything she knows, from believing
the worst in people, to destroying anything and anybody standing in her way.

However, after escaping a world where the only way to leave safely is in a casket, she is constantly
looking over her shoulder.

She is a heartless killer incapable of emotions.

The last thing on her mind is love.

That is until she meets her match, The Devil, who sets her whole world on fire. He is the first to
make her cold eyes burn. And she hates him for it.

RUTHLESS. FATAL. TEMPTING.

ZACHARY DI’ABLO, a notorious yet faceless gangster, sees straight through the cracks of Maria’s
icy heart.

After an unfortunate incident leaves him fixated for years on a pair of emerald eyes, he vows to
avenge his honor by taking away their life. Though, once he realizes his grudge has been one-sided,
his priorities shift.

Once they meet, their lives unwillingly intertwine.

Or so she thinks.
Maybe she was right about not trusting people, after all.

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 DEAR READER,
Thank you for picking up a copy of Angelic Vengeance <3
I hope you love reading it as much as I loved writing it.

I want to remind you that Angelic Vengeance is book one in the GodHood Series of 4 interconnected
standalones.

Please know that this book is a dark romance. There are several triggers, including talk of: murder
and sexual assault. Read at your own risk.

For a full list of triggers, please check my Instagram:

@author.cristinarusso

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 Maria – Christina Aguilera
Pray For Me – The Weeknd, Kendrick Lamar
Don’t Call Me Angel – Lana Del Rey (solo)
Poison – Brent Faiyaz
Loveeeeeee Song – Rihanna, Future
Bathroom – Montell Fish
One Of The Girls – The Weeknd, Lily Rose Depp
Love Drought – Beyoncé
No Ordinary Love – Sade
Stranger – Jhené Aiko
Right My Wrongs – Bryson Tiller
The Worst – Jhené Aiko
In This Darkness – Clara La San
Die for You – The Weeknd
Kiss of Life – Sade

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 AUTHOR’S NOTE
This book is split into three parts.

Part 1 is mostly from Maria’s point of view. The chapters of the present
span over three months, while the chapters from the past span through
multiple years of Maria’s childhood.

Part 2 will take you three months back in time, to when Part 1
originally starts. This time, however, it is all from Zach’s point of view,
with all NEW scenes.

As Parts 1 & 2 conclude at the same point in time, Part 3 continues in

the present, with dual POV.

Xoxo,
Cristina

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godhood
[ ɡɑd - hʊd ]
(n.) the state or quality of being a god

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 PART 1
O C E A N O F P D F. C O M
 CHAPTER 1

Present
21 years old
Manhattan, New York City

SMOOTH JAZZ MUSIC FLOODED OUT of the club’s speakers. I

stood behind the bar, wiping freshly washed glasses and silently judging
tonight’s guests.
Only two men sat at the bar, each drinking in solitude, while the rest
occupied armchairs and booths. Some played chess, others discussed
business, and every single one had a tumbler of alcohol they either sipped
on from time to time or threw back like there was no tomorrow.
The room was dimly lit; enough for a gloomy atmosphere, yet not too
much it became exhausting to remain awake. Cigar smoke formed little
clouds around the club and the smell of Italian leather and expensive
cologne filled the air.
Some cucaracha in a suit signaled over one of the waitresses. Despite
his clothes being custom-made, he looked like a little boy in his father’s
blazer – terrified, clueless, and lost – while still managing to appear ten
years older than his actual age of thirty-something. As if he wasn’t
embarrassing enough, he leaned in to whisper in the worker’s ear –
probably ordering another drink.
He was a useless idiot who lacked anything society required. A waste
of life. Born rich, never having to work a day in his life. He was even too
pathetic to appreciate his wealth: the type who downed his alcohol, and
probably fucked his money while snorting his memories away.
I watched as an oily smile spread across his face – at what I assumed
was a joke another man at his table told. His eyes were red, his pupils large
and black, yet only one word came to mind when our gazes happened to
meet for a moment.
Empty.
I continued with my tasks for the night, the detailed gold clock on the
wall reading almost one in the morning. One more hour and I could go
home.
My eyes drifted to the logo on the back of a booth; Renato. New York
City’s exclusive club, only for the most elite multi-millionaires and
billionaires.
At twenty-one years old, this was my only job; bartending and
waitressing. And it came with a nice enough paycheck. But I didn’t get paid
that much for making and serving drinks. No; I got paid to keep my mouth
shut about who and what went in and out of this place. The world saw
Renato as just some elitist private club. They didn’t see what I saw;
snorting, racks of cash, escorts, empty souls.
Tips weren’t bad either. Just last year, only one of the club members’
tips covered my rent for months – until he went to prison for embezzlement
or fraud, or something like that.
I never even sniffed his dick.

“Okay, don’t look now,” Natalia leaned in, brushing a strand of

strawberry-blonde hair from her soft brown eyes. “But there’s a ridiculously
hot guy staring at you…”
Without hesitation, I abruptly turned my head; indifferent to being
obvious. I quickly searched the crowd but didn’t see who she was referring
to.
We were in the VIP section of a nightclub, sitting at one of the booths
with other people. A close friend, Francesca DeMone, who was with us at
the table, was the owner. Her father was Capo of one of the five families of
New York; a well-known businessman in the underworld. She took after
him; at twenty-two, she owned half of New York.
Tonight was the big opening. The place was packed only with
important guests, and there was not a single person not enjoying
themselves.
 I turned my head back to Natalia. “Who?”
She sighed before subtly pointing somewhere behind me. I followed
her direction and sure enough, there was a ridiculously attractive man
looking straight at me.
Dark hair. Black suit. Tattoos.
A bored expression coasted his features.
He was at the same table as Francesca’s older brother – Gìovanni
DeMone, future Don of the five families. That couldn’t mean anything
good.
Almost as if he hadn’t realized I was looking back at him, a lazy smirk
upturned his lips before he winked at me and drank from his tumbler.
Asshole.
With my expression still uninterested, I turned back to my table. I
wasn’t going to react. The idea of emotion repulsed me, let alone expressing
it voluntarily.
“And… He’s coming over.” Natalia smirked into her glass, taking a sip.
“And… I’m going to the bathroom.”
A sigh escaped her as I left the booth, followed by some curses in
Italian.
On the way back from the bathroom, I needed a moment alone before
returning upstairs, so I made a little detour and ordered a virgin
Cosmopolitan at the bar. Drinking wasn’t my thing; the idea of not being in
control – even just for a second – unsettled me.
Once my pink mocktail was finished, the bartender sprinted towards
me. I parted my lips–
“A Fallen Angel,” – The deep voice wrapped around me like velvet –
“And another one for the lady.”
“That won’t be necessary–”
“I insist,” The stranger pressed, moving to stand by my side. I raised
my eyes…
Him.
Turning back to the bartender, I gave my new order, “I’ll just have a
bottled water, please.”
I wasn’t necessarily that opposed to him buying me a drink; he just
hadn’t asked if I wanted a different one.
My water arrived in record time, and as I opened my Dior handbag to
pay, the bartender was already gone.
 Of course. They put it on his tab.
Standing up, I began putting my wallet back. Even in heels, the top of
my head didn’t reach his chin, and I was pretty tall for a girl.
I felt his gaze burn my cheek. He looked down at me, and because I’m
stubborn, I looked right back, making it a point to appear extremely
unimpressed.
“Don’t.”
“Not sure what you're talking about.” He slightly frowned in a
charming way, as if he was exactly what he pretended to be – a gentleman.
But I could see through his mask; tattoos, slightly unbuttoned shirt,
busted knuckles, gun tucked away in the waistband. He was a wolf in
sheep’s clothing. A man so deep in sins, there was no hope for salvation.
That was the only explanation as to why he would be acquainted with
Gìovanni DeMone – who he himself was elbows deep in blood.
I wasn’t better than any of them. My hands were tainted red and my
consciousness ceased to exist. Technically, that was supposed to be the
worst part; lack of guilt.
I disagreed.
It was the continuous torment of knowing bad people walked this earth
and yet received no punishment. They would be buried with coins in their
pockets to cross the River Styx to Heaven. They would bribe karma in life
and death.
Maybe I lacked guilt for my sins because I knew they were in service
of something greater. Or maybe I just enjoyed watching the life drain out of
evil’s eyes, almost as if I was giving God a hand.
Regardless, life wasn’t black, white, or grey. It was shades, highlights,
and shadows.
“I know exactly who you are,” I leaned in and spoke softly, trying to
hint that I was more than aware of what really went on behind the curtains.
I didn’t believe Gìovanni or this man were evil. But they were trouble. And
for people like me, trouble became temptation to go back to old ways.
“Oh, yeah?” He appeared to catch on to what I was implying but didn’t
seem to care.
“Mhm.” I played along one more time before finally sinking my teeth
into his ego. “You're an arrogant, hedonistic, vain, self-obsessed,
unappeasable liar.” I took a step back and smiled at him, so sweet it would
make his straight, white teeth ache. “You're cute. But not that cute.”
 And without another word or glance, I turned around and walked my
ass back to the VIP lounge.
Maybe I’d been a bit harsh. I mean, I didn’t even know the guy. But it
had to be enough for him to lose interest in me.
If he knew who I really was, he’d never look at me again.

The warm, early May breeze brushed against my skin. Since the front
was packed with people trying to get in the newest hot spot in Manhattan, I
took the back exit.
I must have only made it five steps before the club’s metal backdoor
opened and slammed shut again. I wasn’t planning on turning around, but
when the footsteps got closer, I did, almost too ready for a fight.
Dark hair. Black suit. Tattoos.
“Oh.” Disappointment hit me in the gut. I was way too excited to punch
somebody tonight. “It’s you.”
The handsome stranger I’d met earlier tonight at the bar, simply stood
there, hands in pockets; observing me.
“What are you doing out here?” His dark voice filled the alley.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
He ran his tongue over his teeth. “You should use the front door next
time.”
“I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“It’s not safe–” As the words left his mouth, a loud bang rattled the
pavement. He sighed, looking above my head. “Wait here.”
As he walked past me, I turned around to see a man pinning a woman
to the cold brick wall further down the alley. Dark rage erupted in my chest,
as liquid fire spread through my veins and burned my soul to black ash.
I automatically followed him – against his orders – as he pulled the
attacker off the woman. I could now see her face; bruised and bleeding.
Red.
Before anyone even had the chance to breathe, I raised my fist and
punched the piece of shit in the jaw. He stumbled backward but didn’t fall.
So I hit him again.
Left hook. Right cross. Left uppercut. Right hook.
 All 6 feet of him fell, knocking his head on the concrete. I stepped over
him, grabbed his collar, and punched him again.
A crunch broke his sounds of struggle. His face turned red from the
blood and it was all I could see. The anger inside me blossomed at the color
and spread adrenaline through my veins, fueling me.
“You’re gonna kill him,” The handsome stranger’s voice flooded
through the cracks of my mind, pulling me back to reality. It only made me
punch the scumbag harder.
He didn’t pull me off or try to stop me. He let me finish what I had to
do. By now, he could probably guess I wasn’t just another person oblivious
to what really went on with the DeMone family or criminal underworld.
Finally, I pulled myself off the man who passed out.
I turned around to see the handsome stranger watching me, hands in his
pockets, with a look I couldn’t decipher.
“The girl left,” He spoke nonchalantly. “She said thanks.”
I nodded, holding eye contact. He looked at me with that… that look –
like he found something he’d been looking for. His eyes bored into mine,
and I swear I felt my pulse slow in my neck. Neither said anything else or
moved. I wasn’t sure what it was we were doing exactly, or why we were
doing it.
He was acting like I actually killed the guy – who was breathing;
barely, but still very much alive. Plus, this was probably the least gruesome
thing he’d seen, so I personally didn’t know why he would be surprised.
His eyes dropped to my lips when I unconsciously licked them, and my
skin buzzed. Stepping forward, he closed the distance between us, and I had
to tilt my chin up to keep my eyes on his. His hand came up and brushed
the skin above my lip.
He must have had a fever or something because his touch burned against
my skin. And the jerk probably passed it on to me because it flamed through
the rest of my body and gathered in my chest.
With the back of his hand, he wiped the man’s blood off my face.
I hadn’t stopped him because I wanted to see how far he would go. If
he was stupid enough to really touch me. I wouldn’t hesitate to hospitalize
two men in one night if necessary.
If I hadn’t gotten so good at hiding my body’s reactions, my breathing
would’ve turned shallow from the proximity. Maybe I would’ve even
blushed when his rough hand brushed my cheek.
 My skin crawled at the thought.
He stepped back and placed his hand back in his trousers pocket. “I’ll
drive you home.”
This time I couldn’t hold in an amused scoff. We didn’t even know
each other.
“I’ll be fine.”
“I insist.”
God, how was he still interested?
“I insist you take a fucking hint.” A jab at his masculinity would make
him leave me alone.
Sure, he was hot, but I didn’t date. I would never be able to be my real
self or tell others about my past. They wouldn’t understand. So what was
the point of having a superficial relationship?
Shaking his head, he ran his bloody thumb over his bottom lip – the
same thumb he used to wipe my face clean. And probably the same thumb
he used to pull out men’s eyes during torture. “You think I ran after you
‘cause I’m trying to fuck you?”
Rude. I mean, didn’t he?
“I owe Francesca. She asked me to take you home. And keep you safe.”
He glanced down at the man. “Though I doubt you need me for that.”
“Like I said, I’ll be fine.”
He watched me for a second longer, assessing my body language and
facial expression for any sign of what I was thinking; he wasn’t going to
find anything. I spent years training myself to become unreadable.
After what felt like too long for a normal interaction, he nodded his
head towards the street at the end of the alley. “I’ll get you a taxi.”
Five minutes later, I was on my way home with a buzzy feeling left on
my cheek. Alone in a prepaid cab and hot all over.
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 CHAPTER 2

The Bronx, New York City

3 years old
I'M NOT SURE HOW I got here.
Just that I’ve been stuck here for a very long time.
I sat on a beige couch in a big empty room. Waiting – just like they told
me. I struggled to breathe as my chin wobbled and my chest raised up and
down with uneven breaths. My chest burned and my vision was blurry.
I was crying – or so I thought. Looking back now I was having a panic
attack.
The nice woman I met earlier walked back into the room. She was
pretty; long brown hair and green eyes just like mine. She spoke Spanish
too. I wished she would be my mami.
When she saw me crying, she kneeled in front of me. She cupped my
tiny red face between her soft hands and wiped away my tears.
“Stop crying. You have to be strong. Don’t ever let anybody see you
hurt.”
I nodded. She smiled. I tried smiling back.
My breathing slowly turned more normal.
She let go of my face and squeezed my small dirty hands in hers.
“You’re safe now, angel.”

7 years old
Ruiz lied.
Here I was, still in New York’s shitty foster care system, fighting to
survive every day.
 I looked around the familiar beige room. My eyes dropped to my
bruised hands. I pulled my sleeves down.
“You can’t keep doing this, Maria.” Ruiz walked in, sighing as she took
a seat in front of me on the worn-out couch and flipped through her folders.
It would probably be my thirtieth time leaving a foster home.
I’ve always been a runner.
“What was wrong this time?”
They tried to touch me. Hurt me. Hit me.
I would die before I let them.
“Didn’t like my room.” The lie came out naturally, but the bruises on
my body burned under my baggy clothes.
No one ever saw anything. I wouldn’t allow it.
Don’t ever let anybody see you hurt.
I mentally chuckled. She was right about one thing.
“You know you can talk to me, right?” Ruiz watched me with sad eyes.
Despite everything, I knew she only wanted the best for me. She just
couldn’t take care of me herself as she could barely afford to live on her
own.
I lifted a corner of my lips, attempting a smile. “I know.”
She sighed, closed the folder, and got up. “I’ll go find you a new place
to stay. Wait here.” She turned to leave but stopped in the doorway to look
back at me. “And don’t run away again.” She pointed a finger at me, “I
mean it this time, Pérez.”
I only smirked back.
She sighed in exasperation and closed the door, leaving me alone again.
My smile dropped. I knew I’d be back by the end of the week; it was
Friday.

“Hi. I’m Natalia. What’s your name?”

Looking over my shoulder, I met a pair of heavenly-soft, brown eyes.
They belonged to a girl about the same age as me. Strawberry blonde hair
flowed down her shoulders, over the pink material of her winter coat.
It was December and my first day at the Bronx Orphanage. Ruiz had
truly outdone herself this time. I wouldn’t be able to run away from here; at
least not with the fifty-year-old hawks circling us. I would later grow to like
the orphanage, but only because of the boxing classes being run every
night.
“Maria,” I responded before turning away.
I was sitting on a bench; knees squeezed to my chest, knuckles white.
Icy wind bit at my red cheeks and I ran my tongue over my chapped lips.
The snow was settling. There was no way I would escape now.
At least I would have a roof for the winter.
“Nice to meet you, Maria.” The girl sat next to me – so close, I got
warmer from the contact. “How old are you?”
“Seven.”
“I’m nine.” She sighed and looked around with a tiny frown. “How
long have you been away from home?”
“Since I can remember. You?” I straightened up and turned towards her.
“Me too. But I’m not staying for long.” She quickly looked at me,
almost as if to assure me and not herself. “My mom’s coming back for me.”
Even back then I knew that wasn’t true. And I was right because she
never did.
“That’s nice.” I smiled anyway. For some reason, the thought of doing
anything to dim her smile cut through my chest.
“Where are you from?” She smiled bigger, turning fully towards me
and crossing her legs on the cold wood bench.
“I grew up here, in the Bronx–”
“Me too,” she interrupted me.
I laughed before continuing, “But I was born in Puerto Rico. What
about you?”
“Mamma says we’re Italian. Do you want to be friends?” She placed
her cold hands over my dirty ones. I glanced down; her pink coat was so
different from my black one, yet the colors couldn’t have belonged together
more.
I didn’t have friends. I switched housing and schools every few weeks
so nothing ever stuck.
I looked back at her with a big smile. “Yes.”
“Do you want to play Princesses?”
“Yes!” I squealed as we both got up and ran to the swings.
We became inseparable after that. Natalia was the only one who ever
saw the real me, and I was the only one who would’ve died protecting her.
14 years old
My excitement was as present as an imperfection on Natalia’s skin. It
was early September and my first day of high school hell, and although I
couldn’t give less of a shit about what classes I was taking, I was glad to
spend more time with Natalia, who’d just entered her junior year.
A chilly breeze whooshed past us as we made our way outside to the
seating area. I stole a glance at our outfits; even after all these years, my
puffer jacket remained black, and hers pink.
As we walked past a table of guys, a loud whistle carried through the
air, along with an inappropriate comment about fresh meat.
“Ignore them,” Natalia’s low words grounded me.
I listened to her despite my blood beginning to bubble in my veins.
He had a chance and actively chose to not take it. “What about you? Is
it bubble-gum pink like your jacket?”
Natalia grasped my hand. “Don’t–”
“C’mon, mami, I know a whore when I see one,” The idiot piped up,
louder this time, for the whole courtyard to hear.
I slowly turned around, my face remaining unemotional. “Cause one
birthed you, right?”
The room went silent before everyone burst into laughter; some even
pointing at the guy. I guess it was hilarious when a girl had better locker-
room talk than a guy.
I turned away and motioned for Natalia to keep walking. But then, a
fist came from behind me and connected with my jaw, turning my face to
the side. Weak punch.
The courtyard died down again.
I slowly turned around, attempting to control my nerves, but it was
already too late. Before I knew it, I was holding him down and rearranging
his facial structure. I’d been boxing for years, working at a downtown gym
in my free time, so I’d gotten accustomed to pummeling punching bags. My
only regret was not being able to do worse due to the crowd witnessing his
beating. Wrapping my fist around his thin gold chain, I ripped it off before
rising to my feet and spitting on him.
Eyes followed me as I walked to sit down with Natalia on the worn-out
wooden lunch table.
I squinted my eyes, looking up at the sun.
Apart from that unfortunate event, it was a really nice day.

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 CHAPTER 3

Present
I YAWNED FOR THE TENTH time in the last two minutes. I was
beyond exhausted. Renato was unusually quiet for a Monday night. The
jazz music played smoothly in the background as cigar smoke filled the
dark room. I took a deep breath; expensive cologne and dirty money.
I glanced down at my bruised knuckles. They were healing but the flesh
remained torn and blood red.
My mind flashed back to the handsome stranger I met a few nights ago.
I hadn’t asked for his name and he hadn’t asked for mine. I wasn’t one to
dwell on the past but my thoughts kept replaying back to the encounter.
If he was fire, I was ice.
While I spent years training myself to become unreadable, he allowed
every emotion to translate on his face. If he was angry, you knew it by the
way he frowned or ran his tongue over his teeth. If he was amused, you’d
tell by the way he rubbed his thumb over his bottom lip or let a deep
chuckle leave his chest. And if he was real angry, you’d be on your knees
praying.
While I kept a tough exterior and only allowed a small circle of people
to see the real me, he was an open book.
He didn’t hide; he had no reason to.
He was a Made Man.
It was only an assumption on my part, but true nonetheless. I observed
him, not because I was particularly interested in him – I could care less if I
ever saw the man again – but because I had a habit of being overly aware of
my surroundings.
 It was written all over him and he didn’t even attempt to hide it. The
scar cutting over one of his ruthless eyes. The way he never quite buttoned
his shirt all the way, exposing the tattoos on his chest. The black head of his
gun poking out of his waistband. The designer suits. The expensive
watches. The custom motherfucking cufflinks.
This man was somebody.
And not just another thug wrapped up in a pretty, little suit.
If I knew better, I would’ve shown him respect. Too bad my huge ego
stood in the way.
I was finishing an order when somebody made their way to the empty
bar. I looked up; a guy with a disheveled suit, sweat visible through the
light material. His pupils were so huge you almost couldn’t tell he had blue
eyes. Drunk and stoned; nice. Another waste of life, oxygen, and space.
“I’m Justin,” He smirked, taking a seat on the bar stool.
“What can I get you?” I left the ‘sir’ out since he was too gone to care
or notice.
“Your number, gorgeous.”
I gave a stiff smile and waited for his order, which never came. I
cleared my throat, “So?”
“I just told you.” The guy leaned over the bar, looking me in the eyes
with idiotic arrogance.
Men.
I stared right back.
“And I’m telling you that’s not possible.” I dropped my fake smile and
leaned over the bar too, never once intimidated to look away. I wasn’t angry
yet; just too tired and annoyed to deal with this bullshit.
“I’m not leaving without something…”
“If it’s not on the menu, I’m going to need you to go back to your
table.” I pushed off the bar island and turned around to organize more
glasses.
After a short pause, Justin gave his order. I made his drink and gave it
to him. He remained at the bar as I turned back around and made myself
busy.
“Oops…” I looked over my shoulder to see the glass in his hand tipped
sideways, the brown liquid dripping to the floor. “Better clean that,” He
slurred with a slimy smile.
 For a moment I considered strangling Justin with the towel I was using
to wipe my hands. I could almost see it if I blinked.
I bit down on my teeth. Not worth getting fired. I walked around the bar
and squatted down to wipe the floor with a towel.
Spoiled privileged asshole–
One of the bar chairs wobbled. My hand shot out to stop the chair from
hitting my face, but instead touched fabric; the fabric of an expensive suit.
Just by the graze of my fingers, I could feel the muscles underneath.
Fucking Justin tried to kick the chair at me.
And someone else had caught it.
I raised my eyes.
Dark hair. Black suit. Tattoos.
Speak of the devil.
Ebony eyes stared right back at me.
The handsome stranger put his hand out to help me up. Instead, I
removed my hand from his forearm and wiped my palm on my thigh as if
his touch was radioactive or infected.
He watched me with bored disinterest, and when he raised an eyebrow,
I stood and walked back behind the bar. His eyes followed me but I refused
to meet them; I didn’t know this man or what he wanted with me. I was not
going to entertain him by giving him my attention.
“Better hurry and make me another one, bitch.” Justin smacked his
hand on the counter.
I watched him for a moment, not believing one of Renato’s exclusive
customers was behaving like this. Frustration boiled inside me, muffling
everything around me. A ball of spitting fire formed in my stomach.
I nearly reached over and smashed his face on the marble counter. His
blood wouldn’t even stain the black stone.
Taking a deep breath, I reached for his glass.
“Don’t.”
My eyes shot up to the handsome stranger. He’d spoken to me although
his eyes were on Justin. He was smiling, but there was not an ounce of
amusement in his expression. A dark wrath bled through him as tension
thickened the air. Smacking a hand over Justin’s shoulder, he shook him
like they were old buddies. Then he squeezed. And Justin winced, curling
into the side of his body.
“Go serve some tables.”
 I faltered. “I’m not–”
“Now.” He finally looked at me, narrowing his eyes. It was a warning
of what was about to happen. He wasn’t just giving the guy a warning. No;
he was dipping his elbows one inch deeper into red.
I didn’t take orders from anyone, especially not self-proclaimed
assholes, but in all honesty, I couldn’t care less if Justin ever made it home
again. He’d done it to himself, I was merely a spectator to his self-induced
downfall. It’s not like anyone would miss his sexual harassment.
Men.
Instead of ‘sErVing sOme tAbLes’ I ended my fucking shift early and
went home.

I shoved my hands in the pockets of my large jacket and threw the hood
on. Walking through the city’s lonely streets, I looked more like a man than
that piece of shit Justin.
Back at the club, I let the guys sort out their business and left for the
changing rooms. Now, twenty minutes later, I was walking home.
The supposedly warm May air was unusually chilling at ten at night. It
grew increasingly obvious with every rough shake of a flyer glued on a pole
or bus stop. My figure cast shadows on the pavement while my reflection
followed me through closed store windows. The smell of petrol and smoke
remained constant.
It wasn’t the safest route for the average man, let alone a young
woman, but the corner of my lips still raised into a lazy smirk at the thought
of some clueless idiot trying to mug me.
Almost as a little sadistic joke from the universe, a heavy feeling
settled in my chest as I turned the corner on a street. The faintest sound of
footsteps flowed into my ears and my heartbeat slowed. For the benefit of
the doubt, I crossed the street.
The footsteps grew closer.
I calmly turned a corner after an abandoned building and hid in the
darkness. Moments later, a tall man entered from where I had earlier. His
steps slowed as he came to a halt in the center of the alley. Could he feel
me?
 His hands were in the pockets of his polished black suit, and his
designer watch shined despite the lack of light. His hair was messily pushed
back yet looked perfectly styled, almost as if even the strands falling on his
forehead were intended.
The moonlight cast him in shadows. The vision was somehow eerie.
For a second it looked like one of those scenes in vampire movies when the
clueless girl gets the blood sucked out of her by the perfect gentleman in an
abandoned alley.
But then the wind carried a familiar cologne, which hit me like a
moving train.
Dark hair. Black suit. Tattoos.
Him. Again.
“Why are you following me?” My voice was abnormally relaxed.
Silence.
Then a dark sinful chuckle echoed between the graffitied brick walls
and a weird warm feeling washed over me, traveling down my body.
He might not have been a goddamn vampire but he was a predator
alright.
Why was he laughing? This wasn’t the slightest bit amusing. Was it
because he didn’t expect me to do anything? He’d seen what I’d done to
that guy the first time we met.
Frustration irked inside me; even as I pulled the throwing knife out of
my sleeve and aimed for the soon-to-be-dead handsome stranger. The blade
cut crisply through the air, slicing past the edge of his ear and impaling a
dumpster. The small drop of blood sparkled in the moonlight as it
descended his earlobe and towards the tattoo on the side of his neck.
He turned around, his hand slowly coming up to the cut. “You missed,”
He drawled, assessing the red on his fingertips.
“That was a warning. I don’t miss.” I stepped out of the shadows and
walked to him with determination. “Why are you following me?”
He watched me for a moment, his eyes jumping from one feature to
another, and for a split second I almost felt nervous when he looked at the
scar over my eye for a little too long.
I cleared my throat. His eyes snapped back to mine and a corner of his
mouth lifted. The handsome stranger I ran into too much for my liking,
stepped closer, and the tempting scent of cologne enveloped me until he
was all I could breathe. And think – nothing a shower can’t wash off.
 By the humored look in his eyes, I knew he wasn’t going to answer me.
I gave him a smile, so sweet I could only hope would suffocate him.
“Follow me again and I won’t be as polite as I was this time.”
As my threat hung in the air, I walked away.
“Didn’t take you for the spineless type.”
I ignored the insult and kept walking, but my sharp stiletto nails cut
into my palms.
“What, nothing to say?”
He wanted to know why I didn’t beat the shit out of Justin as I had with
the other man a few nights ago. It wasn’t my proudest moment, but the
answer was simple: to keep my job. I knew it. He knew it. We both fucking
knew it.
“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” I snapped, turning around.
A dark smirk grew on his lips. “You just did.”
I fucking hated that he was right. And I fucking hated that stupid smirk
on his dumb hot face.
“Did you know him?”
My heartbeat dipped at his use of past tense. I crossed my arms and
straightened my posture. “No.”
He nodded, closing the distance between us until I could feel the
warmth radiating off his body. “He won’t bother you again.”
“My knight in shining armor,” I said in a monotone voice.
Sarcasm was my weapon of choice when a .45 wasn’t an option.
“Careful, hermosa. I’m not a gentleman.” His voice was husky and
there was a deeper meaning to his words.
“I never thought you were,” I confessed, holding the dark abyss of his
stare.
He smirked. “Smart girl.”
His eyes were cruel, harsh and unsympathetic. They carried the scars of
his battles, so dark you wouldn’t dare ask him about them. And yet, his gaze
never strained from a soft yet intense flame when it was on me.
I walked away
“Don’t I get to know your name?” His smooth, deep voice wrapped
around me, guarding me from the cold air.
I stopped, looking over my shoulder. “Is that why you defended my
honor?”
“Maybe.” He returned, smirking; his voice rough to my ears.
 Short. Direct. Honest.
Lying didn’t come naturally to this man. To lie to somebody, you had to
be scared of them, and he was at the top of the fucking societal food chain.
He didn’t lie. And wasn’t lied to either because people weren’t scared of
him – they were fucking terrified.
“Why did you follow me?” I asked one more time. He was up to
something; I just couldn’t place it…
When he didn’t answer, I turned to walk away for the last time, but he
grabbed my arm and pulled me back so unexpectedly, I was ready to clock
him in the jaw and destroy that perfect face of his.
He forcefully placed something small in my palm, then pushed past me
in the split of a second.
“Come on, I’ll get you a cab.”
I stared at the gold Bvlgari bracelet in my hand, the clasp broken.
And then I was in the back of another prepaid cab, sitting alone, and
staring at a bracelet I hadn’t noticed I lost earlier that night; unaware that by
morning Justin would end up at the bottom of the Hudson, and on national
news.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 4

Present
THE SUN BURNED HOT IN the late afternoon, the sky slowly
starting to turn red with the sunset. We were hiding in the coolness of the
garage, at Kali’s place in Jamaica Queens; a detached red-brick house with
a small porch and private drive that led to the back, all surrounded by a
chain-link fence.
While she worked on her GT3 RS, adding illegal modifications and
whatnot, I sat on the wooden workbench, keeping her company.
A fan whirled to my side, as last weekend’s baseball highlights played
on a small TV in the corner. Reggae hits flowed through the air, from some
neighbour’s open window, along with the sound of a vacuum cleaner.
Distant sirens mixed with kids’ laughter as they rode through the
neighborhood on their bikes.
It wasn’t the first guess for someone like Kali. She was from a very
well-off family of Japanese and Cuban descent. Her father was CEO of the
Su Dynasty – at first glance, just another Fortune 500 company. In reality,
the family’s multi-billions came from an underground hacking empire,
which also happened to be the main weapons dealer to most criminal
organizations around the world.
She was supposed to get a degree in IT at Columbia – like her brother,
Trevor – and help rule their parents’ hacking empire once they stepped
down. Instead, she rebelled, got into NYU, and chose… this.
Maybe I didn’t understand because I grew up poor. I hated the streets I
raised myself on; so much, I’d been willing to do anything to get out of the
gutters – hence the little-to-no resistance in my past profession.
 I never wanted to look back. There was only going up; more money,
more power.
Part of me envied how she’d had the opportunities of going to college,
opening a business, or just having a safety net. One late night last year,
when we were hanging out at her family’s cabin Upstate for the holidays, I
told her I wished I’d had as many open doors as her; she replied by saying
she wished she had my freedom.
Now here we were, in Southside Jamaica Queens, enjoying a warm
May afternoon, neither of us where we wanted to be in life.
The Yankees highlights playing on the TV suddenly stopped, replaced
by the news soundtrack. “We are interrupting this channel with breaking
news. Just minutes ago, the NYPD pulled a body out of the Hudson River.
Investigators are saying the murder looks like the work of professional
killers: the man had been shot execution-style – twice in the head, once in
each eye – before being thrown into the water.”
“For fuck sake.” Kali moved from behind the open hood, wiping grease
off her hands with a towel before tossing it. She grabbed her phone, dialing
as walked inside the house without another word. “I told you to bury them
in cemeteries–”
My pulse hitched with anticipation.
She thought Trevor was the one behind it. That’s how the Su family
marked their hits: two bullets, one in each eye, to symbolize no dead ends. 失
明. Blindness. In other words, mind your goddamn business.
“The victim has been identified as Justin Campbell, son of Senator
Thomas Campbell. The attack is believed to be a retaliation of Sir Thomas
Campbell’s current political campaign…”
A memory hit me – of him being at the same table as Kali’s brother at
the nightclub. Maybe he was involved with the Su’s.
‘Did you know him? He won’t bother you again.’
He took the life of a random man for disrespecting me.
‘I’m not a gentleman.’
Heat pooled low in my tummy before flowing even lower.
I swore I wasn’t a psychopath, but now I wasn’t so sure.
Kali returned shortly, so I decided to no longer be clueless. Thinking
about him wouldn’t do me any good; I needed concrete information from a
reliable source.
 “So…” I began after chugging down some water. “What’s the deal with
that guy from the club?”
“Who?” She asked from behind the car’s open hood.
“You know, the one from Francesca’s club.” When no further
acknowledgments came, I sighed and continued. “The one at Trevor’s
table? They seemed like they knew each other.”
“Oh…” Her voice sparked with recognition. She turned to me as she
wiped more grease off her bronzed skin. I waited while she just stared at
me, the biggest smirk on her face. “The girls said there was something
between you two.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, a restraining order.”
“I mean, you did leave together…”
“Because Francesca forced him to take me home!”
“He took you home?” Kali wiggled her brows. “Did you invite him
in?”
“What? No! I don’t even know him–”
“His name is Zach Di’Ablo.”
Diablo.
Huh. Fitting.
“And he’s twenty-four. He’s like, best friends with Trevor. Known each
other for years.” Kali kept going, her mischievous smile growing. “You’re
Puerto Rican, he’s Mexican… You can talk dirty to each other in Spanish.”
She laughed while I rubbed my temples. “So, how’s he involved with
the business? Does he work for Trevor?”
That made her laugh. “God, no. He’s… well… a supplier for Cosa
Nostra–”
“Zachary’s a drug dealer,” I deadpanned.
Kali tsked at my lack of excitement but didn’t deny it. “He hates it
when people call him by his full name.”
I smirked.
Zachary it is.

Trying to breathe through my anger, I checked my Cartier watch… two

in the morning. My shift was over, uneventful as usual, except for the man
whose eyes I felt on me all night. Although, whenever I glanced his way he
was busy doing something else.
I couldn’t believe he had shown up to Renato, my place of work –
AGAIN. Asking for me.
He needed to leave me alone.
Nothing unsettled me; ever. And yet, he did tonight. For some reason, I
had a bad feeling about this; about him. I just couldn’t place it…
I wanted to stab this man. Multiple times. Violently.
The doorman opened Renato’s glass and gold front doors, and I smiled
before walking out. Wind whipped my hair against my face and the rain
was so strong it hurt. I brought my head up to see a black Brabus G-wagon
slowly pulling out of the underground parking garage.
Shit.
I hurried down the building’s black marble stairs, and headed in the
opposite direction.
The car pulled up beside me, the passenger window rolling down.
"Get in the car." Zachary’s voice wrapped around me and squeezed. His
tone was even more assertive than before, sending a weird feeling
throughout my body.
I actually laughed. Who did he think he was?
"Yeah… No."
"Get in the car, Maria."
"Say please, Zachary." I stopped walking and faced him, a teasing,
sweet smile on my glossy lips – masking the concerning rise in my pulse.
He smirked at the fact that I knew his name too.
Considering I got his name – and some other information – from our
common friends, I guessed he’d done the same.
Zachary Rafael Di’Ablo was the twenty-four-year-old drug lord of the
Mexican Cartel – which just so happened to be the largest narcotics
operation in the Western Hemisphere, as well as Australia, and most of
Europe.
Raised in the Bronx. Cosa Nostra’s main supplier. Oh, and also Fortune
five-hundred faceless CEO of a multi-billion pharmaceutical company;
which is how I guessed he washed his money.
"Get in the car or I'll spank you until I brand my handprint on your
ass.” The words left his mouth so naturally, it didn’t sound like a joke.
When my smile dropped, he chuckled, adding a sarcastic yet somehow
respectful, “Please."
I contemplated for a moment. I knew who he was, and he was friends
with my friends…
He sighed at my hesitation. “Francesca told me you were working late.
She strongly suggested I give you a ride home ‘cause of the storm.”
It was either him or the storm.
Fuck it. I got in.
Worst case scenario, I had a loaded Glock in my waistband.
Driving off, he rolled the window up and turned the heat on high. The
interior was full black leather and it smelled like spice and cash. It was so
clean, there was not even a random mint wrapper in the cup holder.
I knew I made a mistake as soon as I shut the G-Wagon’s door behind
me. Zachary was larger than life in the confined space. He made me feel
fucking claustrophobic. His presence dominated the spacious car. And while
he drove calmly, my heartbeat grew faster and my blood ran hot and cold. I
was for sure catching a cold.
“Seatbelt.”
Right.
I put it on and leaned back into the abnormally comfortable seat. The
heavy drops of rain smashed against the windshield, blurring the blinding
lights of Manhattan.
I glanced at Zachary, to see a small smirk still on his face.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head, but his stupid smirk grew.
“What?” I asked again, slightly more annoyed this time.
“You’re just…” He licked his lips searching for the right words, “A lot
more submissive than I thought you’d be.”
I blinked. My heart jumped in my chest and embarrassment gathered
low in my tummy at the comment which was actually an insult.
What. The fuck.
For the first time in my life, I was speechless. I wanted to dig my sharp
acrylics into his jugular and rip it out of his fucking neck. I wanted to call
him out his name until he kicked me out of the moving vehicle.
But if I reacted, it meant I cared – which I didn’t. There was a thin line
between love and hate, and I wasn’t interested in entering either with him,
so I forced myself to remain apathetic to the situation.
 I looked away before he could see my unnatural body reactions.
Toneless words left my lips in a bored effort, “Cállate.”
A dark chuckle filled the car.
The rest of the ride was in silence. I chewed my bottom lip while
watching his hand on the wheel. He had tattoos on his fingers which I could
tell went all the way up his arms to his chest – maybe his back too – and
slightly up on one side of his neck.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I definitely was coming down with
something.
When he pulled up in front of my apartment building, I realized I never
told him where I lived. “How–”
“I heard you give the address to the taxi driver.”
Oh.
“Well, thanks for the ride, asshole,” I said, undoing my seatbelt.
“No problem, hermosa.” He unlocked the door and I got out. I was
about to shut the door when he spoke again, “Que sueñes con los
angelitos.”
I froze at the traditional way he chose to say sweet dreams. Frowning, I
scanned his face for a moment. “You too,” I mumbled before shutting the
door. Something was off.
The phrase replayed in my head as I walked through the rain and
entered my building. It used to be a favorite saying of mine when I was
younger, but I didn’t say it anymore. The pure meaning had become tainted
over time.
After pressing the elevator button, I looked back outside, through the
glass walls of the reception. Zachary’s car was still parked out front, the
headlights shining through the night.
Once I was in my apartment, I ran to the window. He was gone.
As I washed my body in the shower, dried myself with a towel, applied
lotion, and got in bed – naked and alone – his smooth voice played on
repeat.
May you dream of little angels.
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 5

16 years old
The Bronx, New York City
IT WAS LATE. TOO LATE even for me.
I picked up my pace, passing rundown buildings in the housing
projects. The streets were empty, abandoned even by the local gangsters.
There were no stray dogs or drunk homeless people passed out on any
corner. Everything was deserted.
Once I turned sixteen a few months ago, I left the foster system and
never looked back. Although Mrs. Ruiz, my ex-social worker, didn’t
approve, she didn’t force me back. I was basically an adult now and she
couldn’t control me anymore, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t the closest
thing I had to a parental figure.
Natalia and I grew inseparable over the years, but she was eighteen
now and off to college. She had told me to come with her to NYU, but I
couldn’t; I needed to let her experience life on her own for a while. While
she was going to lectures and charity events, I was still attending our local
high school and working three jobs – one being night shifts at a gym
downtown. Despite everything, we always called and I often took the
subway to see her in Manhattan.
The scraping sound of metal against the pavement made my stomach
drop, and ice dripped down my back. It was a man who must have
accidentally kicked a soda can. He was walking behind me, quite far away,
but something felt wrong. Really wrong.
I walked faster, but when I noticed a second man walk out of another
alley, I started running faster than I ever had before.
Fuck.
 Growing up in the Bronx, I knew one of two things was happening: I
was getting mugged or trafficked.
I’d heard horrific stories about corpses with missing organs found in
dumpsters, and even seen some myself, wrapped in bin bags.
Alarm bells rang in my head. While some might have freaked out, my
survival instincts kicked in. This wasn’t the first time I was getting chased
in the Bronx. I just had to make it to a more populated street and I’d be safe.
The loud stomping of footsteps came closer and for a moment I thought
I was going to die. They were going to catch me and hurt me in ways I
didn’t even want to think about…
But then, the stomping died down, and it began sounding further and
further away. Did they get tired? Was I really that fucking fast? I mean I
was on the track team at school.
I continued sprinting through the streets of Southside Bronx, not
believing my luck. I was only two blocks away from a main street. Happy
tears began falling down my cheeks at the fact I’d gotten away. I was never
going to stay out this late again. Fuck the money. I was going to get a job
somewhere else.
As I turned a corner, I ran into something large; a man. Before I could
back away, he brought a cloth to my mouth.
Everything went dark.

I woke to a wet warmth on my neck. My eyes shot open and fear

paralyzed my body. A man was on top of me… kissing my neck… touching
me…
Bile rose up my throat. I felt sick.
I was in a dimly lit room, frozen in terror. Grey, cement walls full of
cracks and bullet holes. No door, just a curtain. Sun rays peeked through the
cracks; dust floated in the air. There was nothing except for the dirty
mattress I laid on. The room vibrated as faint moans echoed from outside.
Horror brought tears to my eyes. I’d been kidnapped.
It took everything in me to keep my sobs inside. The man hadn’t
noticed I’d woken up and I had no intention of changing that. All of my
clothes were still on, which meant nothing had happened to me yet. If I
panicked now, they would drug me again, and then there’d be no hope for
me.
Anxiety clouded my brain. How was I going to fight off a grown man?
And then I remembered: all of my clothes were still on, meaning I was
still strapped.
Thank you, God.
Slowly, I moved my hand down to my waistband and pulled out a small
knife. Growing up on the streets of Southside Bronx, I always carried
something on me. Without hesitation or remorse, I flicked the blade open
and stabbed the man in the side of the neck.
His blood leaked on me. I fought the urge to vomit.
He died without a sound. I slowly rolled him off me to not gather
attention.
Good riddance.
As I got up, another man walked in. He was wearing some sort of green
uniform and was holding a machine gun. We stared at each other in shock.
Me because I didn’t know how the fuck I was going to kill him, and him
because I was a teenage girl covered in the blood of a trafficker he probably
worked for.
If I did nothing, I was going to die anyway. So, without thinking, I did
the first thing that came to mind: I jumped on him.
He tripped over something and fell on his back. I grabbed his gun but
he flipped us over.
“Pequeña perra!”
We struggled against each other. I squeezed my hands on the gun,
trying to take it from him.
Pop pop pop.
He collapsed on me as the bullets ripped through his chin and silenced
the room. I gagged when his brains dripped out, pulling myself from
underneath him. I had accidentally pressed the trigger. I was covered in two
dead men’s blood.
The muffled moaning continued.
Did no one fucking hear that?
My gaze fell on the two corpses. Tears burned my eyes and fell down
my cheeks. My chest shook violently with sobs but I stayed silent.
I have to get out.
 I dropped to the uniform guy, ripped off his anti-bullet vest, and put it
on myself. I took his gun and ammo. Before pulling back the curtain, I
retrieved my knife from the other corpse. I would thank God for this knife
for the rest of my fucking life.
Distant gunshots and laughs echoed from outside. Maybe that’s why no
one reacted to the bullets I fired.
There was a hallway that only went one way. I used the gun to slightly
push the curtain of another room out of the way. I forced myself to not
vomit.
Pop pop pop.
I took another one out. The woman underneath was too drugged to even
react.
I made my way through the hallway and ran into another man.
“Que carajo?”
Pop pop pop.
I stepped over his body and made my way out. The cement building
was on an abandoned construction site.
The rest happened in even more of a blur. I could only remember
fragments. I didn’t feel like I was in my body. It was as if I was watching
someone else fight for their life, not myself.
Pop pop pop.
And then I ran out of ammo. My gun cocked empty. But I wasn’t
giving up yet.
My mind kept running back to the girls I couldn’t save. Resentment and
guilt expanded in my chest.
I will come back for them.
Out of nowhere, a hand grabbed me from behind. And then I was being
carried away by my hair. More men gathered around and I was thrown in
the dirt. I groaned at the impact when my body hit the ground. I frantically
got back up and took out my knife.
One of the men in a uniform laughed before dropping his gun and
entering the circle of men that had formed around me. Guess we were doing
this.
He threw a punch but I slit his wrist.
“Maldita puta!”
A man grabbed me from behind.
 “THAT’S! FUCKING! CHEATING!” I screamed, bringing my knife
over my shoulder and stabbing him in the neck with every word. As the
man behind me dropped dead to the floor, the laughter of the others died
down.
I turned around, looking in every direction, ready to fight again. My
chest heaved abnormally, my hair was a mess, my face was muddy and I
was covered in blood. My vision was blurry, my hearing muffled and my
head throbbed. I was sure I must have looked like I’d gone insane.
I was ready to die. But I wasn’t going down without a fight.
The men watched me, yet neither dared step into the circle. I didn’t
think it was that they were scared of me, just the fact that there was a slight
possibility I could kill them with luck. And karma seemed to be on my side
right now.
Then one of them stepped forward. I faced him and got into position,
ready to kill. When he saw my expression, a slimy smile pulled on his lips.
“Como un ángel…” His eyes went wide as he muttered humorously.
“De la Muerte.”
He took another step towards me, then got shot in the head.
Blood splattered everywhere and chaos broke out. The others dipped
down and started shooting in the air.
I took my chance and began running away. Something pinched my
neck. When I raised my hand and pulled out a dart, I was already fainting.
My eyes closed as I hit the ground.
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 6

Present
I WATCHED THE SHARP KNIFE move fast in my hand. The blade
cut through skin and meat like air; up and down, against the wood board.
I threw the chicken in the frying pan, before moving on to the
vegetables.
“Who’s coming over again?” I asked Natalia, who was busy peeling the
garlic. It was the only task I could give her which wouldn’t end with her
burning the kitchen. She was hosting a dinner, and when she asked for my
help, I agreed because I loved her.
“Everybody,” She replied, too focused on peeling a clove. Even that
task was practically impossible. Just as she groaned in exasperation, the
doorbell rang. “Coming!”
I continued making dinner. Distant voices and laughter filled the entry
hallway as I moved through the kitchen trying to multitask.
Boil water, peel garlic, don’t burn chicken…
I was back to cutting vegetables when the air around me thickened. My
breaths turned shallow in the almost empty space, and I suddenly became
uncomfortably aware of how I looked. I hadn’t had time to get ready yet; I
was in a baggy T-shirt and even baggier sweatpants, my hair in a messy
updo.
Chop, chop, chop.
The sound of the blade and the water bubbling filled the kitchen as the
tension expanded. I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. Being
extremely aware of my surroundings was a skill I’d developed years ago for
survival. Yet this was nothing like that; I felt him the moment he entered
Natalia’s penthouse.
 I couldn’t take it anymore. I looked over my shoulder.
Dark hair. Black suit. Tattoos.
Zachary stood in the doorway, hands in pockets, watching me so
intensely it knocked the air out of me. He carried the same bored
expression, yet the way he looked at me was anything but. Black eyes
stared back at me, but I swear I could see flames deep inside them. They
pierced straight through me and burned low in my tummy.
I almost knocked over the pepper shaker.
Without saying anything, I turned back to what I was doing.
What was I doing, again? Right; cutting vegetables. Gosh, get it
together.
Footsteps thudded against the white marble floors. The sound made my
heart drop before it came back to normal. Probably just PTSD.
I forced my focus to remain on cooking, attempting to ignore the tatted
six-foot-five man entering my space.
That only lasted two seconds. The warmth of his body made the skin on
my back buzz and I felt his soft breath on my neck. A chill ran down my
back and my pulse picked up. I should probably get that checked out.
“What are you making?” The low murmur sent visible goosebumps
down my arms. Why did I wear a T-shirt?
“Food,” I deadpanned.
“Would’ve never guessed,” Zachary drawled. He was so close, yet his
body didn’t touch mine.
I glanced at our reflection in the window, so clear it could pass for a
mirror. The blurry lights of New York shined from the fifty-second floor of
Natalia’s penthouse. The top of my head was a few inches under his chin,
and I wasn’t even half of his body’s width. Broad shoulders, muscular arms,
and a large back enveloped me completely between him and the island
counter. A weird sensation ran through my body before moving towards my
thighs.
His presence dominated mine.
And I hated it.
“Pasta,” I added, throwing the vegetables in the frying pan. Zachary
didn’t respond. He kept watching me, probably silently judging. He was
irritating me. “What’s with you? Stop being so close to me.”
He stepped closer.
 When I felt the slight brush of him against my ass – he wasn’t even
hard and the size was intimidating – I froze only for a moment. Warmth
began sliding up my thighs–
“What cuisine do you like?” I asked, desperate to get rid of the tension
and weird feeling I wasn’t familiar with. I readjusted my hips so we were
no longer touching.
“Puerto Rican.”
I swallowed.
A moment of silence.
“Really?” I asked, toneless and sarcastic.
The insinuation of his comment was clear.
“I know what I like.” His deep voice settled between my thighs.
As the others entered the kitchen I turned around and pushed past
Zachary. My voice came out harsher than intended. “You’re in my way.”

During dinner, I sat as far away from Zachary as possible, at the

opposite end of the dining table. That didn’t stop him from trying to burn
the clothes off me with his eyes.
I had changed into baggy jeans and an even baggier crewneck. The
outfit would have usually made me feel secure and comfortable, but by the
way Zachary was looking at me, I felt like I was fucking naked.
Throughout the night I switched between crossing my left leg over my
right, and my right over my left. The weird sensation between my thighs
didn’t go away and I was starting to freak out I was getting a yeast
infection. It didn’t make sense – I had a clean diet, I stayed hydrated, I was
clean; why was I… buzzing?
I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Everybody was now
cleaning up in the kitchen, and I took the chance to get away for just a
moment. I sighed and walked out into the dark hallway.
“Sneaking off again?”
I didn’t get startled when his smooth voice wrapped around me.
“A girl can only take so much staring,” I teased, turning to face him.
Zachary blocked the light at the end of the hallway, which was coming
from the living room. I was cast in his shadow. He looked down at me with
dark eyes – so dark it told me all the sinful things he wanted to do with and
to me.
“You need to stop. What you’re trying to do…” I signaled between us.
“It’s not working.”
He smirked.
I scrunched my nose.
“Then stop looking at me like that.” He stepped closer.
My lips parted in a scowl. “Like what?”
He squinted his eyes slightly in dark amusement, the smirk on his face
taking a dangerous turn. “Don’t pretend you don’t know.”
I wanted to shoot myself in the leg when I felt my cheeks grow warm.
He was right.
I knew.
Maybe I had given him certain looks. But I hadn’t done or said
anything to confirm I was in fact attracted to him, so he was only assuming
at this point. And we both knew assuming only ever got you killed.
I was consciously repulsed by his arrogant and cocky personality. And I
was sure a man like him, who wasn’t exactly a fan of the law, wouldn’t be
good for me. But as much as I had tried to maintain power over my body, I
couldn’t control my biological reactions when he was around me. The first
man to get a physical reaction out of me just had to be this one.
“Does it make you nervous when I stare?” His smooth voice broke the
tension.
Fuck no. It pisses me off.
“Does it turn you on when I tell you to fuck off?”
Zachary shrugged. “What can I say? It’s hot when you talk back.”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t move away from him either or walk away. It
was almost as if something was holding in me place, not allowing me to
leave–
Without warning, he dipped his head to my neck and inhaled softly. He
didn’t actually touch me, but I swear I felt him seep through my skin and
sink deep inside. When a violent shiver rolled through me, he pulled back, a
corner of his mouth slightly tipped up.
My lips parted again and my eyes narrowed. Fire ran through my veins
as I watched him with so much anger I didn’t know how to react. Never in
my life had I met somebody more arrogant or fucking persistent than him. I
rejected him every chance I got, but that only seemed to fuel him more.
 “You can’t just do that,” I spoke through gritted teeth. I was this close
to throwing a fist at his pretty face.
He brushed an absent hand over his absurdly expensive watch. He
frowned again, in that infuriatingly charming way. “Why not?”
I scoffed in disbelief.
Was I just some type of challenge to him? Was he only pursuing me to
prove a point to himself – that he could have any girl he wanted? The most
repulsing, annoying part of this whole thing was that he probably could.
“You’re so full of yourself, it’s insane.”
“You could be full of me too if you’re a good girl and ask nicely.” He
finished by brushing a strand of hair from my face.
I tsked at him and smacked his hand away. The audacity of this man.
“Touch me again and I’ll–”
“Yes?” He interrupted me, lowering his head to my level, pretending to
try to hear me better.
I groaned in exasperation and pushed his chest away from me.
He didn’t budge. And he was too close.
I looked back at his face. That stupid fucking smirk–
And then it clicked. He was trying to get under my skin.
And my dumbass was letting him.
What was wrong with me? I hadn’t shown this much emotion in literal
years.
Don’t ever let them see the real you.
The familiar voice of my childhood crept from the shadows and
whispered in my ear, putting out the fire inside me and turning it back to
ice.
They don’t deserve to know you.
I lowered my eyes, took a deep breath, and neutralized my facial
expression. He wasn’t going to make me react again. Ever.
I knew he sensed the change in my mood because when I looked back
up, his smirk was gone. He was frowning again, but not like he had earlier.
This time he was analyzing me, almost as if he was trying to understand
me.
He would never be able to.
A moment later he stepped back, taking his warmth with him and
leaving me feeling cold and confused – wondering why I felt like I’d just
lost something.
 He turned his body to the side so I could walk away.
I did.

Even a week later, it was still bothering me.

The acknowledgment that Zachary had indeed gotten an emotional
reaction out of me was frustrating, to say the least.
I never showed emotion. Not even when I’ve had to stare death in the
face. But for some unknown reason to me, I lost control whenever he was
involved. Why?
I couldn’t understand.
Anger burned my chest as I remembered the night we met. How I’d lost
my shit and almost killed some guy. I was extremely good at icing out my
emotions, but I too had my triggers.
Although I didn’t regret almost paralyzing the piece of shit in the alley
behind Francesca’s nightclub, I regretted Zachary witnessing the raw anger
inside me. That had only been a mere droplet of the internal ocean of my
rage.
Throughout the week I’d seen Zachary about three times at different
events. He always wore one of his polished suits, alternating between
expensive watches.
I paid attention to details in general, not him in particular.
We made eye contact a few times from across the room, and I always
felt the heat of his gaze even when I wasn’t looking. However, he hadn’t
approached me since Natalia’s dinner.
It was weirdly bothering me that he had switched up his routine.
I thought I knew what I was dealing with: a criminal who enjoyed the
hunt. But now, I wasn’t so sure. I couldn’t shake off the feeling that there
was something I was missing.
I took a deep breath and got back to reality, opening the old door of a
Bronx red-brick house. Closing up behind me, I entered the dark hallway
and made my way to the living room where I sat on a leather armchair with
a protective plastic cover, a matching chair and sofa to my side.
Some plant pots sat by the window, which was covered with a white-
cloth curtain. The fireplace sat empty during the suffocatingly warm
summer. Religious icons and black-and-white pictures hung from the
tapestried walls.
However, in the corners of the room, the tapestry was coming off and
turning yellow. When I looked closer, the plants were dead, and light dust
coated the furniture.
Outside of these walls, I had to fight for everything growing up. To
survive. To eat. To not be touched.
I closed my eyes remembering the multiple times I escaped my foster
homes in the middle of the night and ran all the way here. Ruiz always
welcomed me, and as a kid, it used to be one of my favorite places, even if I
knew I was going to get a scolding with my hot chocolate.
There’d always been something cold or mechanic about Ruiz – I
guessed that’d been where I’d got my personality from – but I never quite
figured it out as a child.
Still, I always came back here.
Little had I known the real monster had been hiding between these four
walls my entire life.
The house had now been abandoned for years, yet something still
brought me back. Maybe one of these days, something would draw Ruiz
back as well. We’d meet again and settle our… misunderstanding.
She was hiding. Waiting. Stalking.
But I’d always been a patient woman.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 7

Present
THE SUN WAS UP AND the fat pigeons of Manhattan were chirping.
Cars caught in traffic were pointlessly honking and people were speed-
walking past each other. Some people went working, some went hustling,
but everyone was hustling. It was early but the morning rush was pretty
much over.
After getting a black coffee – like my soul – and running some errands,
I headed to the NY Public Library. The high, regal ceilings welcomed me as
I advanced on the brownstone floor. Before I knew it, I was getting lost
between wooden shelves of books. After spending an unnecessarily large
amount of time in the Romance aisle and picking three new books, I
decided I had reached my limit.
I turned to leave but my face hit a guy's chest, consequently making me
drop the books. I knew who it was before I even looked up.
"Morning, beautiful."
A weird feeling bloomed in my chest. I wanted to stab him.
Running my tongue over my teeth, I raised my chin to look Zachary in
the eyes. It’d been another week since I’d last seen him and I was beginning
to think I was lucky enough to never run into the man again.
He wore basketball shorts and a black hoodie with a gym bag on one
shoulder; his hair wet like he took a shower not long ago. Considering I’ve
never not seen him in a suit, I was slightly taken aback.
My heart missed a bit when I remembered there was a private
members’ gym down the street. Did he see me walking in the street and
followed me in here?
“Did you see me walking in the street and followed me in here?”
 He shrugged. “Maybe.”
Had he been behind me the whole time I was in here?
“Have you been behind me the whole time I was in here?”
This time he only smirked.
I didn’t know what pissed me off more: the fact that Zachary was
following me, or that I didn’t realize someone was following me or
standing right behind me.
“Shouldn’t you be home resting? Natalia said you didn’t sleep.” He
frowned like he actually cared about the health of my sleep cycle.
Natalia and I had spent the night talking on the phone about murder,
designer shoes, and the epiphanies of life. Another regular all-nighter for
me. I really needed to talk to her about disclosing my personal information.
“Shouldn’t you be running a Cartel instead of following me around like
a lost puppy?” I asked, lowering to pick my books off the floor.
His reply came smooth and unbothered. “On your knees already?”
I froze; only for a moment before grabbing the last book and getting
back up. Avoiding eye contact, I took a step to push past him.
Zachary let out a frustrated sigh and moved in instead of out of my
way. In the split of a second, he pinned me against the bookshelves – my
books once again somewhere on the floor.
My eyes went wide and a gasp escaped me. One of his hands went
under my jacket to my waist, the other next to my head. His hard chest
pressed against my soft front. He was so close his black eyes were all I
could see. The wet hair falling on his forehead tickled my face and I felt my
cheeks grow hot.
He’d never been this close before.
My eyes unintentionally went to his arm next to my head, where the
material hugged his bicep. The weird warmth expanded from my face to the
rest of my body and I secretly took a deep breath to calm myself down, only
to then inhale his cologne. My lungs suddenly felt full and the beat of my
heart accelerated.
I felt like I was experiencing some type of allergic reaction.
His minty breath fanned my face and I snapped my eyes back to his. If
I wasn’t mistaken, there was amusement in them.
What was he trying to do? What was I doing? Where were we again?
For the first time in my life, I had no idea what was happening. So, I
blinked; twice.
 “What are you doing?” I asked, more alarmed when he leaned in.
“I want to see something…” Zachary replied, his breath on my neck.
His grip on my waist tightened over the material of my hoodie and his other
arm softly grabbed my neck. Liquid warmth flowed from his touch
throughout my body, gathering between my thighs.
My eyes fluttered when I felt his lips in the area between my ear and
jawline. An unfamiliar haze clouded my mind, softening every sense around
me.
His smooth voice flowed to my ears. “Your pulse is really fast.”
My eyes shot wide open. The words were like a bucket of ice water
thrown in my face. Out of reflex, I hit him across the face and pushed his
chest away from me.
My heartbeat skyrocketed as I watched him step back and wipe a hand
over his mouth. He looked at the blood on his fingers before looking back at
me and licking the cut I just gave him on the bottom lip.
“You keep making me bleed, hermosa.” Still so unbothered…
“You keep getting on my fucking nerves, pendejo.”
He chuckled. “Is that why your heart’s hammering for me?”
I blinked. “You’re fucking delusional.”
“You’re blushing.”
Frustration bubbled up inside me. “Go fuck yourself.”
“I’d rather fuck you instead.”
“Too bad. Get in line.”
Just because I chose not to date, didn’t mean I couldn’t get a man if I
only clicked my fingers. He was not the first, only, or last to want me. And
he knew that too.
His gaze sparked with challenge. “Go on a date with me.”
I scoffed. “What?”
“You heard me.” He stepped forward until we were inappropriately
close again and I had to tilt my chin up to keep eye contact.
My lips upturned. “No.”
He returned the smile. “Why?”
“I don’t want to.”
“You’re lying.” He leaned lower until we were eye to eye. “Half the
time I have no idea what you’re thinking, but right now… You’re pretty
easy to read.”
 “Oh, really?” I narrowed my eyes. He didn’t have a clue what I was
thinking.
“Mhm.” He narrowed his eyes right back.
“Enlighten me.”
Another arrogant smirk as he leaned even closer. His body heat
enveloped me, coiling in my stomach before drifting lower. The dark notes
of his voice squeezed my chest. “You want to fuck me.”
My lips parted in shock. “Don’t project your desires onto me.”
He winked. “They’re yours too, baby.”
I was so angry and so frustrated and so… hot, I did the only thing that
came to mind: pushed past him, picked up my goddamn books and walked
away.
Zachary’s footsteps thudded casually behind me. My heart beat harder
in my chest with every step, as he followed with a deep chuckle. I was
suddenly grateful for the lack of people in the library at eleven in the
morning.
When I got to the front and placed the books on the librarian's desk, I
glanced over my shoulder to catch him looking down my body. When I
cleared my throat, his eyes shot up to mine.
“Stop staring at my ass.”
“Shhh!” The librarian’s voice silenced the entire block.
Zachary smirked before his eyes dropped again. I sighed and turned
back around. I didn’t even know what he was looking at – my clothes were
big enough to cover everything.

“We need to talk about you disclosing my personal information to

strangers,” I said, dropping in the seat across from Natalia. We were having
lunch together at a cute restaurant in Brooklyn.
After half an hour of going back and forth on the steps in front of the
library, I’d finally been able to get rid of Zachary and meet Natalia. The
man insisted on driving me everywhere when I could walk perfectly fine.
“Hello to you too, Miss International,” She replied, looking up from her
phone with an arched brow. Her pink glittery acrylics tapped against the
screen as she sent one last text. “And Zach isn’t a stranger; he’s a friend.”
 “Why are you even telling Zachary things about me?” I asked, just as a
waiter brought us the menus.
Natalia gave me a big smile, hearts in her eyes. “He’s being so cute!
Always asking about you–”
“Well, I don’t fucking like him.”
She did the same. “You don’t like anybody.”
“Except you…”
She rolled her eyes, trying to hide a smile. “I’m being serious though.
You should really give him a chance.”
I groaned. “Why?”
Natalia cleared her throat, making it a point to actively count the
reasons off on her hand, “One: he’s hot. Two: he’s rich. Three: he’s crazy
about you–”
“He’s not. He just wants to fuck me.”
“And maybe you should let him!” She laughed. When my face
remained unimpressed, she sighed and gave me a pity look. “I mean… are
you still a virgin?”
“Nothing changed between today and the last time you asked me
yesterday.” When she returned the unimpressed face, I felt personally
attacked. “I have my reasons, okay!”
“Mhm. Sure. And what are they?”
I didn’t have a good past. Natalia knew some of it, but not all. I hadn’t
had the best experience with men, and now as a twenty-one-year-old grown
woman, I wasn’t dying to gain more. The idea of allowing someone to see
me at my most vulnerable went against everything I believed in. How was I
supposed to remain apathetic and cold during sex? I wasn’t a literal
psychopath…
Having sex meant being vulnerable and trusting the other person. I
didn’t think I was there yet. Or anywhere close.
I could never look Natalia in the eyes and lie, so I stared out of the
restaurant window. “I’m waiting for someone special.”
“Bitch, please. That’s so not it–”
“Really? Then who was your first?” I smirked when she remained
silent. “See? You won’t even tell me, your literal soul mate. I mean how bad
could it have been?”
She sighed. “Look, all I’m saying is, you’re twenty-one, Maria. You’re
supposed to date, have fun… I’m not saying to go and sleep with the whole
NYU football team, but you should go on a date once in a while.”
“But–” I tried arguing.
“No ‘buts’. You’re not even trying.” She exaggerated the fact with her
hands. “There’s an attractive man who’s dying to take you out on a date.”
Leaning over the table, she cupped my face in her manicured hands. “Let.
Him.” Then she smirked and leaned back into her chair.
“I’m not promising anything.”
“Just promise you’ll be a little more open-minded.”
I sighed. “Fine. I’ll be more open to the idea of dating. But I am not
going out with Zachary.”
“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” She leaned over the table
again, “Why don’t you like him?”
“I don’t know him!”
“That’s why he’s asking you on a date! You know he’ll just keep asking
you, right?” She shrugged, reading through the specials.
“What’s up with that, by the way?” I smacked my hand on the table.
“He’s so persistent.”
Natalia froze, pursing her lips. She gave me a quick look before
looking back down.
My mouth dropped open. “What did you do?”
“Well…”
“Natalia!”
“Francesca might’ve mentioned to Zachary how he is your type…
Physically, speaking.”
“Oh my God.” I couldn’t believe what she was saying.
“And… Kali and I might’ve mentioned that we thought you two would
have really cute babies.”
I gasped. This was beyond embarrassing.
Natalia laughed. “You so would though!”
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 8

16 years old
THE NEXT TIME I OPENED my eyes, I was in a hospital bed. I
winced, twisting my neck to look around the room, but I was alone. I had
multiple IV drips in me and my whole body ached. As I tried sitting up, I
lost focus in my eyes and slumped back against the pillows.
Holy shit. What did they give me?
Giggling, I lifted the long IV tube, before falling back asleep.
I was still in the hospital bed when I regained consciousness, missing
the IVs. I groaned, straightening up, and although I was dying to eat, I
didn’t touch the food on the bedside table. Who knew what was in it?
Poison? Maybe. Still, blinding pain shot through my stomach; I couldn’t
remember the last time I’d been this hungry.
I froze when I realized I wasn’t alone. I caught a shadow move from
the corner of my eye, and before I could even stop myself, survival instincts
kicked in. In a split second, I grabbed the fork from the tray and threw it at
the intruder.
The metal sliced through the air but at the last moment, the woman
caught it in her hand with extreme precision; the sharp tips of the cutlery
merely inches from her eyeball. Her hand covered my view of her face, but
when she spoke, her voice washed over me like a bucket of ice water.
“Impressive recovery for a severely hospitalized patient.” She lowered
her arm, allowing me to take in her features. “But you’ve always been a
fighter, haven’t you, Ángel?”
She cupped my tiny red face between her soft hands and wiped away
my tears. “You’re safe now, angel.”
 “Surprised to see me?” Mrs. Ruiz, my former social worker, stood in
the center of the room.
I could feel my eyes narrow the more the silence stretched. I watched
her every single movement with pure confusion. Had anything even
happened? Was it all a dream? Did I somehow start doing drugs and ended
up overdosing with no memory of anything?
“Glad to see you’re feeling better.” Ruiz smiled, taking a seat in the
empty armchair. A folder rested in her lap. Her pantsuit was perfectly
tailored and her black hair looked professionally curled, framing a soft face
of perfectly applied makeup.
“Where am I?”
“U.S. Embassy – Havana, Cuba.”
I took a deep breath, running my hands down my face. So, it did
happen. The fact that I survived was pure luck and a fucking miracle. Still, I
couldn’t understand what Ruiz was doing here.
“I think it’s time I properly introduced myself.” She dug into her blazer,
pulling out a fancy badge. “Agent Ruiz, United States Federal
Government.”
What the hell…
I didn’t respond; just watched her carefully. I knew she worked for the
government, she was a social worker. But calling herself ‘agent’…
“You might’ve heard of something called the Central Intelligence
Agency.”
C.I.A.
My jaw slowly unhinged.
“I run an… off-grid department that specializes in eliminating high-
value targets and conducting covert operations to protect the United States’
interests.”
“You kill people for a living,” I deadpanned.
Ruiz in that beige room was one of my first memories.
She’d lied to me my whole life, yet still tiptoed around the truth. I
didn’t appreciate it.
“Pretty sadistic if you ask me.” My tone was sharp, allowing a rare
expression into the anger and hurt of her betrayal.
She gave me a knowing smile. “The preferred term is assassin.”
There was a moment of silence.
“Why are you telling me this now?”
 The eyes I once found some comfort in, were now unrecognizable.
Completely empty, yet a storm of hidden emotions.
“Oh, Ángel… You couldn’t possibly think any of this was a
coincidence.”
I registered the exact moment my entire reality shattered around me. An
unfamiliar ache crossed my chest and a knot appeared in my throat.
She did this to me?
Rage blinded me. But when I tried to launch toward her – my only
intention, to kill her painfully – I couldn’t. I moved my body again, only to
realize I was strapped to the hospital bed.
“Relax.” Ruiz opened her folder mechanically, her face lacking
remorse. “It was a necessary test. Plus, I knew you were strong enough to
survive.”
“And if I didn’t?!”
“You did. It is what you were trained for, after all.” Late nights at the
gym, just pummeling the punching bags. Hundreds of ammo used at the
shooting range for ‘letting off steam’. Memorizing the human body’s weak
spots for self-awareness.
Every unconnected broken piece began making sense.
My face twisted with disbelief.
Why me?
“I still remember finding you in that CPS waiting room,” – The beige
room – “And the first time I saw your eyes… and found nothing. Just
death.”
My eyes stung at the unlocked memory of my three-year-old self
waking up in a foreign city without my parents. To this day, I had no idea
what had happened.
“They didn’t want to cooperate at first; but when I flashed my badge,
told them it was a crucial operation… Who was going to tell me no?”
What the fu–
“You were so young. So… raw,” – my stomach turned – “You could be
molded into anything and everything.” She snapped her fingers. “That’s
when I got the idea: mold killers from youth. Much easier than training
adults.” Her eyes met mine again; nothing. “And you, Ángel… Oh, you
were the perfect candidate: no family, no life, no past, no future.” She
chuckled, before adding, “Enough trauma to fuel an army… But most
importantly, hate.”
 For some reason, another fissure cracked inside my chest at the last
word.
Was there that much hate and evil inside me? Was I born like this? My
mind flashed back to the men I killed remorselessly. A cold, heartless
killing machine.
“Nevertheless, you passed the test. Exceptionally.” Ruiz sighed,
flipping through her folder. “The amount of noise and disruption you
caused, helping the special forces to locate one of the world’s largest sex
trafficking rings, which they’d been investigating for years, was a bonus.
They were able to find the hidden safehouse and save the women and young
girls who had been kidnapped.”
A weight lifted off my chest. “All of them?”
“Some overdosed before we could get them help.”
I scoffed. “And you still decided to drug me.”
“The sedative was for your own good.”
I took a deep breath to calm down. My temple throbbed with tension
and everything felt like a dream; like I was out of my body. I shook my
head and bit my tongue.
“You had eight confirmed kills.”
“So?” The fire of rage I usually put out by hitting something grew
inside me. The urge to take it out on Ruiz enlarged by the second. I stared
into her eyes as the silence stretched between us.
“Do you blame yourself for their deaths?”
My lack of reaction said everything I didn’t. I didn’t need to state the
obvious.
Her uneasy smirk was back. “Well, you see, in situations like this, it is
common for the victim to feel a kind of… guilt.”
“Yeah?” My eyes turned to slits. “Well, I sure as fuck don’t. And I’m
not a fucking victim.” I spit the words like they were venom.
More silence. After everything that had happened, I was starting to
sound like a goddamn sociopath.
“Do you remember what one of the targets said about you before he
was shot?”
“Ángel de la Muerte.” I repeated his words.
She closed her file. “Pretty fitting, don’t you think, Angela?”
I clenched my jaw. No one ever addressed me by my middle name.
 “He wasn’t wrong. You’re exactly what is sought after in federal
agents.”
I gave her an unimpressed look, which she ignored.
“Young. Naturally skilled. No background,” – Something told me to
keep my mouth shut about Natalia – “Merciless. Strong.” She said the last
words with more force. “You’re a diamond that just needs polishing. Some
important, powerful people were impressed with your performance. I got
your foot in the door, despite you being under twenty-one or lacking
military training.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “And you want me to do what? Join the
C.I.A.? Just like that?”
“If you agree, you will enter mandatory training; minimum six months.
You have no links to the outside world, so you will be declared dead on
Government Records. With your background in combat, you’ll complete the
mandatory training in less than a year and officially become an agent in
training for the U.S. Federal Government.”
Despite my best attempt to hide it, my interest peeked. Still, something
felt off. This was too unrealistic; too good. “What about my life in New
York?”
Ruiz let out a sardonic breath. “What life?”
She wasn’t wrong. What was I going to do back in New York?
Probably end up homeless or dead.
“I understand your negative emotions in regard to the way I chose to
introduce you to this life, but I hope you will come to understand it was
necessary. I am offering you a new beginning. A fresh start to get it right
this time. A second chance at life.”
When I didn’t respond, she simply walked up to me and untied my
lower body from the bed. My earlier anger had simmered, now replaced by
adrenaline.
“Read it.” Ruiz dropped a paper and pen on the hospital bed. Before
she walked out, she looked at me one more time over her shoulder. “You
saved a lot of lives last week. There are more people out there who need
you to fight for them.”
An hour later my signature was at the bottom of the contract.
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 9

Present
THE GROUND SHOOK AND THE loud screeching of tracks filled
my ears. The afternoon sun burned from above, but the bridge cast me in its
cool shade. Stranded subway cabins that had fallen off broken railways, as
overgrown nature surrounded them. Dead grass – filled with trash, broken
bottles and used syringes – softly swayed from the summer breeze. The area
was dystopian.
I was in the middle of nowhere, with no passers-by except for the
occasional trains carrying foreign merchandise over the bridge.
Two cement walls, drenched in graffiti, stood to my far left and right.
In the distance ahead of me, a deserted rusty car. Empty beer bottles
balanced on its roof.
I pulled the .45 out of my waistband.
Pop.
Glass shattered.
Pop.
The air carried the echo.
Pop.
I barely felt the recoil of the gun, but that didn’t matter. I didn’t get to
finish the rest of the targets.
A chill ran down my spine. The hair on the back of my neck raised. A
twig cracked somewhere behind me.
I twisted around abnormally fast and pointed my Glock at the
handsome idiot who was stupid enough to follow me out here.
Dark hair. Black suit. Tattoos.
 I groaned, unloading the firearm and putting it back in the waistband of
my jeans. “I could’ve killed you.”
“Doubtful.” Zachary shrugged, taking a look around my innovative
shooting range. He actually seemed impressed.
His eyes landed on me again; dark and sinful.
And there it was: that charming frown that brought an unsettling anger
to my chest. I hated that frown. It implied he knew me better than I knew
myself.
Not only could I kill him in less than ten seconds; I could kill anyone in
that time. That was the whole point of my profession. The reason others like
me were hired; quick, easy, no traceable source.
I scoffed, turning my back to him. I walked over to a batch of concrete,
where I had knives lined up. I picked up a few blades and began throwing
them at a target I’d hung on the far bridge wall. The razors dissected the air
in record time and every single one hit the center of the target.
“Prove me wrong.” Zachary had made his way over to my side,
watching me pick up more throw-knives and repeat the process.
I had no idea how this man had the time or ability to always find me.
Surely, he had much better things to do than watch me throw blades at a
target on the abandoned outskirts of town.
“I don’t flaunt myself for the enjoyment of men.”
Turning to walk away, a sardonic laugh left him. “That’s what I
thought.”
My goddamn ego.
“I could take you,” I said, dropping the knives on the concrete rock.
“Mhm.”
He just kept walking.
My blood boiled at the disrespect towards the skills I spent years
perfecting. No one had ever talked to me like that and walked away alive.
I followed behind him, snarking, “You don’t believe me?”
He turned around so abruptly, I almost walked into him. His face was
suddenly so close, this time I couldn’t stop my eyes from boring into his. I
felt the sharpness in my stare unwillingly dilate the longer I watched fire
burn inside him.
“We’ll fight for 3 minutes.”
I scoffed and leaned in close, speaking through gritted teeth. “You
wouldn’t last that long.”
 Arching a brow at my double-meaning insult, he seemed to find it
amusing, and not at all offending. “Scared?”
Fuck this and fuck him.
I was about to walk away and he sensed it. Grabbing my arm, he
lowered his head so we were closer to eye level. “If you win, I’ll leave you
alone.”
Now, that was an offer.
He slowly let go of his hold on me and I shook his hand with more
force than necessary. "Deal."
He squeezed mine back with equal force. “If I win… I’m taking you on
that date.”
Anger bubbled up in my veins, but I forced it down. “You’re on.”
I couldn’t stop a victorious smirk from spreading across my lips.
There was not a world in which I would lose a fight.
It was only fair that I would squeeze his hand back harder. He matched
my strength again and it was his turn to smirk when I couldn't squeeze any
harder.
Finally, we both let go.
“No guns. No throwing knives. No dirty fighting,” Zachary stated as he
took off his suit jacket. He winked. “Just you and me.”
Endless black ink stretched across his tan skin when he rolled up the
sleeves of his shirt. His biceps flexed, and I was suddenly aware of how tall
and muscular this man was.
Maybe he wouldn’t go down that easy. But he would hit the floor by
the time this was over.
“You just took all the fun out of it,” I pouted. Picking up a few normal
blades, I extended one out but he shook his head. I shrugged. “Suit
yourself.”
“Three minutes start… now.” Zachary’s silence was replaced by the
clock.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
I didn’t make my way straight to him. Instead, I walked along the wall
of the concrete bridge, dragging my blade along it. My chest filled with a
twisted excitement and anticipation at the sharp scratch sound.
Zachary walked parallel to me, keeping a constant equal gap between
us. His lips turned into a knowing smile. “Time’s running out, hermosa.”
“You better hurry up then.”
 “Backing down already?” Zachary stopped and simply put his hands in
his pockets.
He was trying to fuck with me mentally. I wouldn’t let him.
I stopped a few feet away, copying his stance. “From you?” I chuckled.
“Never.”
“Is that why you’re always running away from me?” Sarcasm laced his
tone, but I wasn’t going to fall for his bullshit.
The more I was around him, the thinner my patience got. Something
about him made me lose my grip on the apathetic social mask I wore. He
replaced the ice in my chest with an intense heat I only knew to associate
with anger.
I shrugged nonchalantly. “Your face repulses me.”
He smirked. “You want to sit on my face.”
I launched for him, throwing deliberate, calculated punches; one after
another. But he blocked every single one.
He began stepping back with each defense technique, and for a split
second, I let my ego get the best of me. A moment later, my back slammed
against his chest. He immobilized me, gripping my wrists and crossing my
hands over my chest.
I struggled against his large, merciless frame. His body’s warmth
invaded my own, collecting between my thighs and making me lose focus.
“You’re good, hermosa,” Zachary murmured in my ear, the slight brush
of his lips sending goosebumps across my skin. “But I’m better.”
As blind irritation seared inside me, I let out an exasperated groan and
broke free from his grip. Pulling one of my knives out, I spun around and
faced him. While my chest heaved with emotion and fire, he remained still;
hauntingly tranquil.
And then I saw it: the blade in his hand. He stole one from me when I
wasn’t paying attention.
Wrong, twisted excitement pooled in my lower stomach. Maybe I’d
underestimated Zachary. He was, after all, Kingpin; Capo of the Mexican
Cartel.
After our last run-in, I looked into him again, more thoroughly this
time.
Zachary Di’Ablo, the renowned billionaire, was faceless. A widely
respected businessman without a single picture, only the reputation of one
of New York’s finest bachelors – a ‘gentleman who values his privacy’ said
Forbes.
And ‘El Diablo’, the notorious drug lord, was a ghost. Just like the
devil, a phantom whose face no one had lived to tell.
Yet here I stood.
Staring straight into his cut-throat eyes. And they warmed my skin like
the barrel of a firing gun.
I attacked him again, my knife slashing through the air. He diverted
everything I threw at him. It was clear we’d both received professional
training.
And then, my razor connected with his skin.
We both froze when crimson dripped down his tatted chest, staining his
crisp white shirt. As he glanced down and ran his tongue over his teeth in
annoyance, I couldn’t help it; I laughed – a real, genuine laugh.
What the fuck were we doing? Two adults play-fighting in an industrial
abandoned zone on the outskirts of New York.
I didn’t even care that I showed him emotion. His pissed-off face was
hilarious.
Zachary slowly looked up at me in disbelief. I was about to say
something snarky and bitchy, but then understood his eyes. He’d never
heard me laugh before.
I took his shock to my advantage and attacked him again.
Ring.
Time ran out just as my knife stopped at his throat.
Dead.
El Diablo would’ve been my forty-second confirmed kill and the first
Drug Lord to join the list.
Zachary watched me in disinterest, but there was a subtle spark of
respect. My heart beat in suspense. Would I take advantage of the situation
and cut his throat anyway?
I wasn’t a woman of my word. There’d been many times before when I
had lied and cheated to get what I wanted. To me, there was no such thing
as ‘dirty fighting’; there was just surviving. I should’ve cut his throat but
something stopped me.
I lowered my weapon.
Zachary took me down. The ground knocked the air out of me but it
didn’t hurt; I had felt worse pain. One of his hands protected my head from
the fall, but the other held my own knife to my throat.
He turned my own weapon against me.
Pinche pendejo.
I guess there was a world in which I would lose a fight after all –
Zachary’s world.
A victorious smirk turned his lips. He was unnecessarily close; simply
to rub it in my face. His body was between my legs, and when he
straightened up on his knees, the friction burned against my inner thighs.
“You cheated,” I stated through gritted teeth, the blade close to cutting
into my jugular.
“I put you on your ass, didn’t I?”
Had I actually expected honesty from a liar and a cheat? I should’ve
known better; I was one myself.
I angrily got out from underneath him. He could’ve held me down if he
wanted to, but he didn’t attempt to stop me. Though, he didn’t make it easy
for me. I struggled to push out from underneath him while keeping physical
touching to a minimum.
I wasn’t a sore loser, but my first lost fight wasn’t necessarily the
reason for my anger. I had let Zachary see too much of my real self. I
allowed him to see too much of my emotions. Whenever he was around me,
I couldn’t seem to control myself. I didn’t know why, but whatever it was, I
needed to get a hold of my self-control.
The Angel was dead. And so should’ve been this side of me.
“Be ready at seven,” He said after I began walking away.
I couldn’t believe him. I wouldn’t even entertain the idea by facing
him. “In your dreams.”
Something changed in his tone. Something darker; more dangerous.
“You shook on it.”
I shrugged, finally turning to look him in the eyes. I forced the rejection
to leave my lips, “Guess I cheated too.”
Two could play this game.
After only walking away three more steps, two shots rang in the air. For
a moment I thought he was shooting at me. But when I glanced over my
shoulder; the bottle targets I hadn’t gotten to earlier, were now down.
Zachary didn’t turn to face me again, and I didn’t wait any longer.
I walked away.
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 10

Present
A SMALL SMILE COASTED MY lips as I continued covering
Francesca’s apartment in red balloons and decorations for her twenty-fifth
surprise birthday party. Kali was out distracting Francesca while Natalia
was getting the cake from a nearby bakery and I took care of getting the
apartment decorated. I was alone, as it was too early for people to show up,
so I didn’t think too much when a knock sounded at the door. I simply made
my way through Francesca’s high-rise.
Her older brother, Gìovanni lived in the penthouse above. Although
Francesca prided herself on her independence, the Familia still believed she
should be close in case of emergency. The sky-scraper was owned and
named by their family – The DeMone – serving as a luxury apartment
building.
I grabbed the handle and opened the door with a smile.
Dark hair. Black suit. Tattoos.
My smile dropped and I tried slamming the door in Zachary’s face, but
his strong hand held it open. I inhaled deeply in annoyance, only to inhale
his musky cologne. It went straight to my brain, clouding my thoughts.
Zachary didn’t give me another chance to keep him out. He pushed past
me and entered the apartment. I turned around, watching his back as he
made his way to the couches.
I stood alone in the dark hallway for a moment.
It had been almost a week since I’d last seen him. Since I’d lost the bet.
And I still had to carry out my end of the deal: do whatever Zachary wanted
for a week. Yet, he couldn’t seem to care less. Not only did he not say
anything, he didn’t even look at me.
 He was ignoring me.
Did that mean the deal was off? Had he finally had enough of my
bitchiness? Had he given up on chasing me?
I thought I’d feel relief, but there was now something picking at me –
something alarmingly similar to disappointment.
What was wrong with me? I should’ve been glad the chase was over.
Just like every other guy before him, Zachary had given up, but I still
couldn’t hold back some dissatisfaction. A small, locked-away part of me
had actually believed Zachary genuinely liked me. But now, by the way he
laid on the couch, in his perfect suit, ignoring me, I guessed the game was
really over.
I couldn’t hold back the resentment making its way up my chest.
Something in me was mad at how easily he had given up, while also furious
I even cared about him.
It was starting to fuck with me, so I kept my distance until the others
showed up.

Music blasted from the living room where the party was happening.
There must have been around a hundred people present. While Natalia lived
in a penthouse on the fifty-something floor, Francesca’s apartment was on
the ninety-seventh floor of DeMone – a building owned by her family, and
also named after it.
Through a long hallway filled with art, I walked towards the chef’s
kitchen at the other end wing of the apartment, which unlike the main one,
wasn’t open to the living area.
With a click, the door closed behind me, muffling out the music and
shouting. I had to get the cake and candles ready so they would be good for
midnight when Francesca would turn twenty-five.
While the rest of the house was full of floor-to-ceiling windows where
you could see all of New York shine in the night, the chef’s kitchen was all
steel.
The music blasted again before going back to muffled. I looked over
my shoulder.
Dark hair. Black suit. Tattoos.
 My heartbeat picked up more than it should have. Two months ago I
wouldn’t have cared about Zachary, but now I was surprised he was still
interested in me.
There was also, of course, the possibility that he was here for any other
reason than me.
I wasn’t sure I liked that possibility anymore.
Something twisted burned to life inside me when he leaned against the
door, crossed his arms and simply watched me. Did that mean he wasn’t
done with me?
His eyes coasted over my body, lingering on my ass and thighs. I never
understood why he wasted his time checking me out; it’s not like he could
see anything under my baggy jeans. Still, my body hummed underneath the
weight of his dark eyes.
“What do you want?” I leaned my lower back against the steel counter,
no longer being able to take his staring.
Zachary dropped his arms, pushed off the door and slowly stalked
towards me. “It’s time we begin our agreement, don’t you think?”
So he didn’t forget…
“As in be your slave for a week? No, thanks.”
“Sore loser?”
“Maybe. But I’m not an idiot. God knows what you’ll have me do.” I
scoffed, motioning with my hands. “I wouldn’t put feeding you grapes
while I’m naked past you.”
“While I fully expect you to fulfill that fantasy in the future… That’s
not what I want.”
“I don’t give a shit what you want.”
“You knew the deal when you agreed to it.”
“I’m a liar and a cheat, Zachary.” I gave him a sardonic smile. “It’s
nothing personal.”
“Zach,” He corrected.
It took me by surprise. Was this really the first time I said his name out
loud?
Running an absent hand over his watch, he stepped closer to me.
Something red on his chest caught my attention. I glanced down at his shirt,
top buttons undone, to see a few red slashes across his tatted skin. The vivid
memory of my knife cutting him came back to me.
How does this man not hate me?
 My heart pounded in my ears when he leaned in, bracing his hands on
each side of me on the counter. Our faces were only inches apart now, and I
would’ve pulled back if I didn’t think that would mean losing face.
His ebony eyes met mine. “You’ll go on a date with me.”
He said it in such a way I almost nodded ‘yes’.
I stopped breathing, and then everything started to make sense.
He was fucking with me – had been the entire time.
Ignoring me was all part of his plan to get in my head, and I – like an
idiot – let him. I wasn’t used to others tricking me, and now that it had
finally happened, I fucking hated losing control. And now, I fucking hated
him all over again for a completely new reason.
My eyes became slits, and it felt almost too good saying, “No.”
Zachary kept staring into my eyes. We were playing one of my favorite
games: the one where we saw who broke eye contact last.
I liked it because I always won.
Granted, Zachary only ever broke eye contact to glance at my lips
when I licked them.
However, this time, my little trick didn’t work.
“What are you so afraid of?” His rough voice warmed my skin.
I didn’t respond, feeling as if his question was so stupid it didn’t
deserve an answer. Nothing scared me; not after what I’d been through.
He scoffed. “Look at you. You’re terrified.”
Fury incinerated my veins before my blood burned against my insides.
I clenched my jaw and bit down on my teeth in anger.
As if on cue, Kali stepped into the kitchen; confused by how close
Zachary and I were. It probably looked like we were about to make out.
“Hey, Kali?” My voice came out like knives, but I didn’t break eye
contact with Zachary once. “Remember that guy you wanted to set me up
with?”
There was no guy, but as my best friend she would back up any of my
lies.
Zachary glanced at her over his shoulder and she nodded.
He looked away first. Yet again, I had won our little game.
A victorious but dangerous smirk upturned my glossy lips. “And
remember how I said no because men piss me off?”
She gave another slow nod, switching eyes between Zachary and me,
and looking extremely uncomfortable due to the tension radiating between
us.
My lips curved into an evil smile. “Well, I changed my mind. I’ll go on
a date with him.”
If looks could kill, I’d be bleeding out on the marble floor by the way
Zachary was glaring at me. He had fully intended to piss me off and
succeeded. He just didn’t expect it to blow up in his face. If he wanted me
to go on a date that fucking bad, then so be it – but not with him. He wasn’t
going to win this.
Kali took her chance and escaped, leaving me and Zachary alone once
again. I stepped closer to him, looked him right in the eye and spoke softly.
“In case I wasn’t clear before, I’m very fucking petty. And I have a lot of
self-control. So, when I said that I’m never going to sleep with you… I
fucking meant that shit.”
He watched me for a moment before he leaned in and murmured in my
ear, “Maybe you should try saying that without looking like you want me
nine inches deep inside you.”
Before I could even comprehend what he said, he stepped back and
walked away nonchalantly. He closed the door behind him with a soft click,
returning to the party and leaving me alone.
Nine?
I swallowed, looking around the empty kitchen. My cheeks burned and
I suddenly felt very hot.
That’s possible? Surely, not…
I took a deep breath and leaned against the steel counter.
He is a big guy… Sounds proportionate.
And then I imagined it.
Looks proportionate.
I shook my head.
Then splashed my face with cold water from the sink while cursing
Zachary’s existence.
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 11

Present
RED.
Pink. Purple.
Loud music. Alcohol. Drugs.
Hips rolling, lips touching, a drop of sweat down my chest, the glide of
skin.
Francesca’s apartment was packed. People were already calling this the
party of the year and it was only the beginning of July.
Lights glowed above my head as I danced with my friends. It was past
midnight and Francesca had already blown her birthday candles. Running
my hands through my hair, I moved my hips to the rhythm of the music.
The girls and I laughed as we sang the words of the song playing.
Natalia was dancing on a random guy when Trevor suddenly came up
and pushed the guy off her. They started yelling at each other and arguing
before he dragged her away. Kali and Francesca didn’t react since Natalia
and Trevor argued all the time. Kali said they always have, even in college.
I simply wondered what they were fighting about now. Last time, it was
because Trevor ate Natalia’s fries. It was never anything serious, otherwise
one of us would have intervened.
My eyes landed on the couch. Zachary was on it, talking and laughing
with some men from Cosa Nostra, girls surrounding them. Three were
around Zachary, practically sucking his dick right there in front of
everyone. An unreasonable amount of irritation filled my veins.
Some guy behind me was getting too close and I was about to push him
away. But then I stole one more glance at Zachary who was smiling at one
of the girls.
 Fucking smiling.
If he was having fun, why shouldn’t I?
I did what I’d never done before: I grinded back into the guy behind
me. He grabbed my waist and we began dancing together.
I glanced towards the couch again and what I saw filled my chest with
a dark, twisted adrenaline. Zachary wasn’t smiling anymore, his eyes
fixated on the way my ass moved against another guy’s front. He looked up
and our eyes met; fury in his, trouble in mine.
I couldn’t stop a smirk from forming on my lips as I looked away.
Turning around, I hooked my arms around the guy’s neck.
He was hot, but not as hot as Zachary. Tall, but not as tall. He smelled
good, but not good enough I wanted to bite him.
I glanced over my shoulder to find Zachary still watching, jaw locked
and everything else except me forgotten.
I couldn’t help myself. I took the guy’s hand and led him away from the
dance floor and towards the empty rooms. I wasn’t even going to kiss him
but Zachary didn’t need to know that.
We entered an empty guest bedroom and I closed the door behind us.
“We’re not going to do anything. I’m only using you to make someone
jealous.” The word ‘jealous’ was out of my mouth before I could stop
myself.
Shit. Was I jealous over Zachary?
Before the guy could respond, the door to the room opened, spilling in
the loud music.
“We’re busy–”
I didn’t get to finish.
As I turned around, Zachary was already lifting his arm towards the
guy, Glock with silencer in hand.
I could only gasp as the shot sliced through the air. I whirled around to
see the innocent guy – whose name I didn’t even know – fall back on the
bed; eyes open and a red hole in his forehead.
No blood had splattered on the walls or leaked out of his head. It was a
silent reminder that Zachary wasn’t like other guys I’d dealt with before. He
was a professional. And this hadn’t been his first kill.
He wasn’t ‘just like me’.
He was so much worse…
 I hadn’t felt shock in years. I had been trained not to feel anything. But
Zachary completely blindsided me. I had expected him to barge in… Hell,
maybe even hit the guy. But I never expected Zachary to straight up kill
him.
I spun back around to face Zachary, but he was already walking out. I
could see and feel the anger radiating off him. He’d already removed the
silencer and was now placing the gun back in his waistband.
I reached out and grabbed him by the bicep, nails digging through his
blazer. “You can’t just leave me with this!”
I had taken lives before, but one thing I didn’t fuck with was disposing
of bodies. Shit freaked me out.
Zachary gave me a dark smirk. He must have loved the amount of
emotion he was getting out of me. “Should’ve been more careful,
hermosa.”
He began to walk away again, but I didn’t let go of my hold on him.
“Zachary!”
He turned and walked into me. Automatically, I stepped back. His
hands went underneath my large T-shirt, to my waist, and he squeezed me
in his palms, pressing me between the wall and his muscled body. His touch
burned my skin, making me feel as if he was branding me with his
handprint. Liquid fire dripped down my veins, collecting low in my tummy.
My breathing was shallow and I felt confused. Very confused.
Though one thing was clear: I was throbbing between the legs.
We were so close our noses were touching, yet my eyes were on his
lips.
“What’s my name?” He rasped.
My eyebrows knitted, but I breathlessly responded him. “Zachary.
Zachary Di’Ablo.”
He squeezed my waist harder, but not enough to hurt. Growling, his
lips brushed against the corner of my mouth, “What’s. My. Name.”
I raised my eyes, meeting his intense gaze. And then I saw it.
He wanted me to call him Zach.
I couldn’t do that.
Addressing him by his nickname was too personal. Lines between us
were already blurring and calling him ‘Zach’ would only give him the
wrong idea. We were not friends. I didn’t even like him. So why would I
even entertain him?
 When I remained silent, he let out a sardonic breath, which fanned
against my face. We were dangerously close.
Our lips were only one bad decision away.
“Why would you pick some complete nobody, when you could have
me?”
The rawness in his words took me by surprise. I had only intended to
mess with him earlier, but by the way he was looking at me right now – and
by the bullet he put in that guy’s head – I understood he was more than
jealous.
His lips brushed the corner of my mouth. “You want me to kiss you.”
I parted my lips to interrupt him, but he covered my mouth with his
palm, silencing me. My heart exploded in my chest.
“You won’t admit it. And if I kissed you right now, you’d push me
away.” He uncovered my mouth, then brushed my lips with his thumb,
setting my whole world on fire. “But you want it, don’t you?”
In the dimly lit room, Zachary cast me in his shadow. In the low light,
his brown hair and eyes appeared black. The dark worshipped him.
Underneath the material of my T-shirt and bra, my tits grazed his suit every
time my chest rose and fell with shallow breaths. Maybe it was the safety of
his darkness, but when I felt my cheeks grow hot, I couldn’t even bring
myself to care.
Something deep inside me ached.
My glance dropped to his lips again. My head was buzzing and I had to
fight the invisible force pulling me towards him.
I was going to do something stupid if I didn’t regain control over
myself.
But then he pushed off me, and my body grew cold and confused at the
loss of contact.
“Don’t flirt with my men again. I won’t hesitate to kill them.” He threw
one more glance at the corpse, who I guess used to be one of his soldiers.
Chuckling, he brushed his thumb over his lip, shaking his head. “Have fun.”
And with that, he walked out, leaving me to deal with the mess on my
own.
I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
Unlike Zachary, I had left my old life behind, meaning I no longer had
contacts I could call in these types of emergencies. The jerk knew I needed
his help.
 God, I hate him.
I ran after him.
Zachary was walking down the hallway, towards the party, when I
stepped in front of him.
Without thinking, I placed my hands on his chest. His muscles tensed
under my touch, and I didn’t dare to look at his face. Keeping my eyes on
the red slashes I left on his tatted skin, I slowly slid my palms down his
pecs, digging my sharp nails into him through his shirt. A masculine noise
of satisfaction escaped his throat and I felt it all the way between my thighs.
This was the first time I’d ever initiated physical contact with him, and
I wasn’t necessarily being modest. I wasn’t used to using seduction in order
to get what I wanted; usually pointing my .45 did the trick. But this was my
last hope.
He slowly glanced down at my hands on his chest, and when he looked
back up, I met his gaze. It was so intense it knocked the fucking logic out of
me. Mindlessly, I ran one of my hands to the back of his neck, running my
fingers through his short hair and scratching his nape with my long stilettos.
His body remained unbothered; not even attempting to touch me. He
was using my own behavior against me – non-reaction. His only tell was his
eyes. Every look, glance and stare against my skin, set me on fire.
Stepping closer, I placed my other hand on his neck too. His warmth
enveloped my body, and I honestly couldn’t tell which one of us was
burning more.
I swallowed my pride.
And then I did what I swore not to do just a few minutes ago: I said his
name.
“Zach…” I began softly. Something dangerous sparked in his eyes. Part
of me hated the way his name left my lips so naturally. “Don’t leave me to
deal with your mess.”
He scoffed, looking over my head, and tried pushing me away.
I pulled him right back, pressing myself against his hard, warm abs.
His dark eyes locked on mine again as he ran his tongue over his teeth;
still refusing to touch me.
“If you help me,” I continued. “I will go on that date with you.”
Zach remained silent, and for a moment I thought he would deny me.
“How can I trust anything you say?”
 I opened my mouth to give a reasonable answer, but nothing came out.
There was not a single reason why he should trust me. I’d never done
anything but lie to him. An aching guilt spread through my chest, and I
swallowed hard before a knot could have the chance to form in my throat.
“You can’t.”
He watched me for several moments, and I allowed my eyes to melt
into his own dark pools of ink. Only for a fraction of a second. Only to
appear convincing.
With a small shake of his head, a low breath escaped him. “A’ight.”
We were so close I felt it more than I heard it. I forced myself to not
squeeze my thighs together and instead ignore the heat between my legs.
I knew I had him when he took his phone out and began dialing.
What I didn’t know was that he had me too.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 12

17 years old
CODE NAME ANGEL. TWENTY-NINE confirmed kills. Accurate to
1,300 meters with an M24. At seventeen, I was one of the youngest U.S.
Federal Agents. I had completed eight months of training, and it’d been
over a year since I’d joined the force. I was quickly moving up the lower
ranks for a teenager, gathering recognition and appreciation from my
superiors.
As I was still considered a minor in the eyes of the State, I wasn’t
currently being paid or considered an official agent. However, my
compensations were transferred into an account I could access at the age of
twenty-one. Judging by the way work was currently going, I was going to
land myself a pretty sum of money.
The harsh Russian wind whipped at my face as I pulled the vintage fur
coat tighter against my body. The luxurious material kept my body warm,
yet nothing could fully block out the cold of an Easter European winter.
After flying with ease through my latest assignments in Shanghai, Berlin
and Colombia, I was finally in Moscow to complete the last one of the year.
As Christmas was in a few days, the city was lit up with festive
ornaments and decorations, the streets full of people doing last-minute
shopping. Although knee-deep snow was plowed out of the way of the
sidewalks, snowflakes fell rapidly from the dark sky and settled on the
pavement.
Shaking the snow off the long fur coat, I entered the St. Regis –
Moscow’s most prestigious hotel and second home to some of the most
powerful and influential Slavic people.
 The moment I stepped inside, I zoned in on the target. Tonight’s
unlucky winner was Mob Underboss, Sergei Kuznetsov – two-timing ex-
informant for the U.S. Government, and secret rat of the Bratva Criminal
Organization.
My stilettos clicked against the rare Calacatta marble floors as I
advanced through the parlor. Red silk curtains dropped from the tall ceilings
supported by pillars encrusted with gold designs. Diamond chandeliers
illuminated the salon as a live band played soft Christmas Jazz for the hotel
guests. While businessmen drank Leon Verres’ Billionaire Vodka at the bar,
elderly aristocrat ladies sipped from their bone-china teacups in the lounge.
The entire scene was like something out of Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina.
Russian elites, over-the-top yet elegant atmosphere, and royal treatment.
Money, sex, murder, affairs and secrets.
Throughout the night, I remained unnoticed in the sea of billionaires,
observing while hiding in plain sight, before sneaking off to the roof. From
there, I would have a clean shot to Kuznetsov’s private balcony.
The biting wind howled, threatening to freeze the marrow in my bones,
as I waited in the shadows. It wasn’t long before Kuznetsov came into view,
getting into his balcony hot tub.
Calmly, I put a single gold bullet encrypted with the word ‘Angel’ into
the barrel of the sniper rifle. Lowering my head to the firearm, I closed an
eye and looked through the telescopic sight. The red dot appeared on the
back of his head and without remorse, I pulled the trigger.
Kuznetsov’s body jerked from the recoil before falling face-first. His
blood spilled from his head, the clear jacuzzi water now red.
Another easy, quick assignment.
Thirty confirmed kills.
Straightening, I began to take apart the riffle and pack up the
equipment.
The metal door leading from the emergency staircase to the roof
slammed open. A man – probably one of Kuznetsov’s bodyguards – raised
his gun towards me and began screaming in Russian.
Before I could even blink, a hand holding a knife came from behind
him. Without hesitation, the blade cut across his throat, and the man
dropped the gun to grip his throat. As he fell to his knees and began choking
on his own blood, I finally got a look at who was behind him.
 The woman stepped over the man’s body as he twitched in a puddle of
his own blood. Her stilettos clicked against the roof as she approached me,
but stopped at a safe distance. Smart choice.
Her long platinum-blonde hair softly blew in the wind, despite the
harsh current. She stood at the same height as me, watching me with doe-
black eyes. I returned the gesture, not once breaking eye contact. Even
while focusing on her eyes, it was distracting how red lipstick deeply
complimented her olive skin.
“Thank you for sparing me the dirty work,” She spoke first, nodding
towards Kuznetsov’s balcony where his corpse was still floating in the
jacuzzi.
Except for my department, the only other people who’d want someone
in the Bratva dead were the Italians. She could have been with the Outfit or
Vegas Crew.
“Cosa Nostra?”
The corner of her lips lifted ever so slightly as she tipped her chin
towards the unpacked sniper riffle behind me. “You a fed or something?”
“Or something.”
She nodded like what I said had made perfect sense.
“I appreciate what you did,” I confessed, signaling towards the dead
man behind her. “I owe you.” Saying those words to a mob member was
dangerous territory, yet it was something I felt I needed to do anyway.
She shook her head. “I owed you for taking out that piece of shit
Kuznetsov.” Extending her hand, she offered, “Francesca DeMone.”
DeMone.
The DeMone Family was at the top of New York’s Sicilian Mafia. The
name alone brought death to the streets and their reputation even followed
them overseas. Everyone in the underground criminal world feared them.
And she just saved my life.
“Maria Pérez,” I returned her killer smile as my hand took hers in a
firm handshake.
“You know, the Family could use someone like you. For a more than
decent price, of course.”
I knew I wouldn’t work for Ruiz forever – our trust had been broken a
long time ago – but I couldn’t see myself walking away before cashing out.
I’d once considered Ruiz a parental figure; now she was just my shitty boss.
 Francesca gave me an understanding look, despite the lack of
exchanged words. She pulled a card out of her jacket. “If you change your
mind.”
I glanced down at the card she was holding out for me; the white
material shining in the moonlight between her blood-red acrylics.
Before I could stop myself, I took it.

18 years old
This had been the craziest mission so far. I’d been in Austin when I got
the phone call, so catching a flight to Mexico had been a no-brainer.
Business was handled and I’d done what I’d been sent there to do.
I dipped my head, avoiding a tree branch, when a road finally came
into view. I ignored it and kept running towards the ocean. As soon as my
shoes touched sand, I pulled my balaclava off and along with the rest of my
clothes, shoved everything in my backpack. However, I kept my gun out,
placing it in my boxer’s waistband.
Just in case.
The sound of the federal helicopter echoed in the distance; closer. My
heart dropped before jumping in my throat, and the blood ran ice cold in my
veins. My body was freaking out, yet my mind remained calm.
I got into the water. After running so much, it was a struggle to raise
my knees above the waves. Everything was pitch black apart from the moon
reflecting in the warm water. If it wouldn’t have been mid-July, I would’ve
died of hypothermia before they even caught me.
The water was surprisingly calm; karma must not hate me so much
after all. I swam as far away from the shore as I could, until the lights of the
nearby town were as tiny as ants. By my estimation, I was about a mile
away. That is when I allowed myself to take a break. I switched positions
and floated on my back until I regained my energy.
I dropped my legs, used my arms to stay above water, and looked
around until I found what I was looking for: the minuscule light of the
furthest neighboring island.
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 13

Present
AFTER ZACH TOLD ME TO get back to the party, I tried to enjoy the
rest of the night without success. The thing that was on my mind was not
the dead body – feeling guilt had never really been my thing – but the way
I’d let Zach win this little game between us.
I gave him my word. Promised that I would let him take me on a date. I
wondered if this had been his plan the whole time.
I was on the couch with the girls and some other people when the
cushion dipped next to me. As I glanced at Zach, he threw his arm around
the back of the couch and technically around me. He was already in deep
conversation with Gìovanni, Francesca’s older brother and future Capo.
Unlike everybody else, he didn’t seem to care about Zach’s interest in me.
Antonio however, Francesca’s younger brother, smirked but tried to
hide it by drinking out of his tumbler. Trevor, Kali’s older brother, simply
raised an eyebrow, while the girls’ eyes went wide. I pretended like I didn’t
know what they were giggling about.
Without realizing, I slowly relaxed into Zach’s presence next to me.
Natalia gave me a knowing smile, making me roll my eyes. It was obvious
everyone was curious about Zach and me, yet no one brought it up.
“Do you want to leave?” Zach asked me after I yawned for the
millionth time. His voice was always so smooth and reassuring. I nodded,
forcing my eyes to stay open. “We’re going to leave now. Happy birthday
again, Francesca.”
I got to my feet and went to hug Francesca one more time. She would
kill me when she found out what had happened in her guest room. “Happy
birthday. Have a good rest of your night!”
 We pulled back, but she held my shoulders for one more moment. “Call
me in the morning.” She winked.
God. Did they all think we were leaving to fuck?
Zach and I said our goodbyes and before I knew it, we were in the
private elevator, on our way down. I looked up; ninety-one more floors to
go. I didn’t protest when his arm settled on my lower back. He was so warm
and firm, it didn’t feel like I was letting him ‘win’ when I leaned my head
against his chest. Exhaustion ached at my muscles and I let my eyes flutter
shut.
Only for a moment…
I must have been more tired than I thought because when I opened my
eyes again, I was in Zach’s arms. We were in the DeMone’s underground
parking garage and I guessed we were heading towards his car. He carried
me with such ease, an unintentional swarm of butterflies erupted in my
stomach.
I stole a look at him. This close, I could see he didn’t have dark brown
eyes. They weren’t golden or honey, but pure oblivion devouring light in
their intensity. He had thick, black lashes and the shadow of stubble ghosted
his jaw. His dark brown hair was styled like it always was: ruggedly slicked
back with a few strands falling on his forehead – intentionally messy yet
still put together.
I’d underestimated him; by a lot. He was more easy-going and
charming than most criminals I’d come across, but now I knew that didn’t
mean he didn’t have a dark side. I had a feeling that tonight was only a
glimpse into the amount of damage that he could do.
It’d been a long time since I’d been around someone as powerful as
him.
As powerful as myself.
A beep echoed in the garage, and an orange light flashed against his
features. A door opened, then Zach was putting me down in the passenger
seat.
“Thank you,” I mumbled, sleepily adjusting myself.
Zach didn’t respond. Instead, he strapped the seatbelt on me, the
material of his suit grazing against my skin.
As he closed my door and walked around the hood to his side, I
glanced at the steering wheel – Mercedes – then at the size of the interior –
G-wagon.
 “Bulletproof. Nice,” I said, referring to the impenetrable material of the
vehicle, as he took off his blazer and threw it in the back before getting in.
He glanced at me with a knowing smile, before roaring the engine to life.
Two months ago I would have enjoyed Zach’s silence, but now I
wanted nothing more than for him to say something.
I could deal with annoying, rude Zach.
But pleasant, charming Zach?
I didn’t know what to fucking do.
During the silent car ride, I watched him drive. His sleeves were rolled
up, exposing tan muscle and black ink. I chewed my bottom lip every time
we took a sharp turn and his palm smoothly circled the steering wheel.
I didn’t hate the fact that I found him attractive anymore. I mean, I kind
of always did, but it felt weirdly good to finally sort of admit it. Part of me
knew, that if I wasn’t so damn traumatized, I wouldn’t mind having his
hands on my body.
But it wasn’t like it meant anything– I could recognize his
attractiveness and not end up riding his dick in the backseat of his G-
wagon.
It was a fucking nightmare.
For the first time in my life, I was actually physically attracted to a
man… A man who embodied and represented everything I was running
away from. The fucking irony.
When we arrived at my place, Zach pulled into my building’s
underground parking. I searched my purse and handed him a card which he
scanned to enter the garage.
“Wait there,” He said after killing the engine.
I complied, and my confusion disappeared when he began walking
around the hood, to my side. Opening my door, he extended a hand.
I took it, and couldn’t help smirking. “Such a gentleman.”
He gave me a wink. “Only for you.”
I looked away, already feeling a blush warming my cheeks.
Zach placed a hand on my lower back, walking me to the elevator. I
was about to say good night, but then he stepped in.
I didn’t.
Did he expect anything from me tonight? Was he going to use our deal
against me? A part of me didn’t want to believe that he would, but another
part of me was reminded of his dark side. He could be violent, but would he
be violent with me? Would he try to force me?
I’d put a bullet between anyone’s eyes before they got the chance to
hurt me.
I bit my bottom lip, unsure how to voice my thoughts. For some reason,
I never did when I was around him.
Zach’s brows furrowed as he took in my reaction before he realized.
Part of me really liked how I didn’t need to say anything when I was around
him for him to understand me. He could read me better than most people
and we’d only known each other for two months.
“I’m only walking you to your door,” He said nonchalantly, but I was
so tired I thought I almost saw hurt pass his eyes. “Got to make sure you
don’t pass out in the elevator again,” He added, making me exhale a small
laugh.
I relaxed and stepped next to him. He pressed the button for my floor
and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer.
I wasn’t sure what this was… We’d never even kissed before. But
considering I’d wrapped my arms around his neck earlier, his touch felt
more intimate than it should have. It made my skin burn, yet somehow
remained weirdly comforting.
A few minutes later, we were in front of my door. I unlocked it but
didn’t step inside my apartment. Instead, I leaned against it and turned to
Zach.
He watched me with a silent intensity. He stood tall and strong, hands
in pockets. His shirt sleeves were still rolled up, his suit jacket long
forgotten in the car.
“I’ll call you,” He said after a moment of silence. “G’night.”
When I didn’t say anything, he turned to walk away.
I must have been beyond exhausted because what I did next was a lot
more damaging in the long term than I had initially realized in the moment.
Just fucking do it.
Maybe it was the lack of sleep, the aftermath of the night’s events, or
the intoxicating man in front of me. Whatever it was, it compelled me to act
before I could overthink.
I grabbed his bicep, pushed up on my toes and kissed his cheek.
My lips buzzed against his skin while liquid fire dripped down my
body, but it was over too quick to understand the feeling.
 Without looking at him again, I said a quick goodnight back and
hurried inside my apartment. I locked the door behind me and leaned
against it. My pulse went through the goddamn roof and my heart
threatened to jump out of my chest.
I could look a man dead in the eyes when I took his life, but kissing
Zach on the cheek was making me gasp for air.
Pathetic.
And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to be mad about it.
Maybe Natalia was right. Maybe it was time for me to start dating. I
was twenty years old after all. I was mature. I could be reasonable and lose
my virginity when I felt ready. I had gone to therapy and worked through
my trauma, but now I had to put it into action.
Still, there was that feeling… That there was something I didn’t know.
Something telling me not to get close to Zach. Natalia and my therapist
would say that was just my trauma response.
Still, I was like a moth to a flame. It was inevitable.
Just earlier in the night, I had sworn I’d never sleep with Zach, and now
here I was: voluntarily touching him. I’d never had a crush before, but I was
starting to think he could become my first.
For a moment, I wondered how he had known my floor and door
number.
Fuck it. The man knew everything.

I was still half asleep when I felt the sheets being pulled off me. I was
on my stomach, face in pillows, and naked since I slept hot during summer.
A warm, heavy weight settled on my back, pushing me into the mattress.
The alarm bells in my head went off before a known masculine fragrance
wrapped around me.
As I looked over my shoulder, a nose grazed my cheek, setting my
senses on fire. My heart hammered against my chest and blood roared in
my ears.
My voice came out breathless. “Zach?”
A million questions swarmed through my head, from how he got in, to
what I should do. I didn’t know what was happening, and an unfamiliar
feeling rolled through me at the realization that I didn’t actually care. I
couldn’t think, all I could do was feel.
Rough hands traveled up the side of my thighs, gripping my hips, and
when his fingers dug into me, my heartbeat dropped between my legs. I
moaned, digging my acrylics into my pillow as he kissed my neck, hot and
wet.
Zach forced his hands between the mattress and my body, one palm
settling over my stomach, the other sliding up. His dark voice pierced me
through the chest. “Missed you, hermosa.” My nipples were already
diamond peaks when he palmed my breasts.
I groaned in the pillow as he continued kissing my shoulder and spine,
down all the way to my lower back. He roughly grabbed my thighs and
flipped me on my back, letting out a masculine sound of approval when he
dipped his head between my legs. My head fell back and my back arched.
His fingers dug into me and my hands went to his hair, gripping and
pulling. His touch felt so good and warm – so right.
Pulling away, he climbed over me. Every time his muscles tensed and
flexed, I felt myself getting wetter. He leaned down and our lips met. I
moaned into him. I knew he would be the best thing I’d ever taste.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He groaned against my lips. “I can’t
wait to see what you look like full of my cock.”
I could feel his bulge pressing between my legs and I thought I was
going to lose my mind.
“I want you inside me,” I moaned. When he didn’t respond, I pulled
him closer, our lips grazing. “Just the tip…”
“Maria…” He rasped.
“Zach, please.”
He kissed me again, with more force, and my eyes rolled to the back of
my head in pleasure. My breathing turned more erratic when I felt the head
of his cock slide against my opening. And then he pushed inside me–
I woke up gasping.
My heart was threatening to jump out of my chest and I was aching
between the legs. Pushing up on my elbows, I looked around my room –
frustrated to find out I’d been dreaming about that and him.
I would never do or say that.
The jerk was in my fucking dreams too. I just couldn’t escape him.
 I tried to calm down and remember the events of the night before.
Francesca’s birthday… The random guy who got murdered… Zach pinning
me to the wall… His strong hands carrying me to his car… Me kissing his
cheek…
I tried to get control over the situation, but there was only one thing on
my mind, chipping away at my self-control with every passing second.
I fell back on the bed and slipped my hand under the covers, only to
find myself soaked. I began moving my fingers in circles, already feeling
extremely close.
Zach’s voice echoed in my mind. I could hear it so clearly, it felt as if
he murmured the words in my ear. But you want it, don’t you?
“Yes.”
My fingers moved faster as I massaged my breast with my other hand;
imagining it was Zach’s hands working me instead. My orgasm formed at
my core before exploding and rocking my whole body. I came so hard and
fast and for so long, I thought I was seeing stars.
However, once I settled down from my high, cruel realization set in.
Son of a b–

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 14

Present
I WATCHED MY PHONE RING with an unknown number.
I knew it was Zach. And I couldn’t bring myself to answer it.
It was too soon. I’d only just fantasized about him less than an hour
ago. My moans still echoed off the walls, my skin still burned, and the
blush on my cheekbones wouldn’t go away. I didn’t trust myself right now.
My voice could come out uneven or I could come across as needy or easy.
God, what was wrong with me?
I paced through my kitchen as the phone vibrated on the island counter.
Then, when I couldn’t take it anymore, I turned on the TV and kept pacing.
Morning news covered the ringing, but all I heard was background noise.
The phone stopped calling.
I sighed in relief and turned to the TV.
“The woman has been identified as a former child service worker.”
I slowly approached the screen, only to see a picture of… Ruiz?
“Details remain unknown as the case is undergoing investigations.
Authorities believe the homicide to be a consequence of gang rivalry,
however, no body has been discovered. As for the weather…” The rest of
her words muffled.
No body has been discovered.
I was willing to bet anything on the conspiracy she was still alive.
Child service worker my ass. If this had been real, she would’ve
received an honorable funeral of a government agent.
Slowly I sat on the couch and took the remote. I shut the TV and stared
at my reflection until it morphed into the screen’s bottomless pit of
darkness. I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, but when I got up, my body
was in a state of unnatural calmness.
Consequence of gang rivalry. This was a warning. With nothing to lose
now, she was finally coming for me.
I would make it worth her while.
After a quick, cryptic text message to Kali, she had supplied me with
all the information I needed, no questions asked; police files, security
camera footage, names, faces, times, locations, registered weapons,
criminal records…
Turned out several people had been looking and asking around for the
Angel. I knew all of them worked for Ruiz. Now it was on me to carry their
punishment through.
Some relied on karma to bring them justice; I relied on my lack of
morals and ability to kill a live bear if necessary.
I shut the laptop and made my way to my closet. After putting on black
clothes, I shoved my .45 in my waistband and rolled my balaclava up until
it looked like a regular beanie. I grabbed a black, empty gym bag and made
my way out, taking one more look around the dark apartment before closing
the door behind.
I no longer stashed multiple weapons in my house, so in situations like
this, I had to rely on others. Bad, dangerous people, with bad pasts and bad
reputations.
I called the one person who’d help me, no questions asked.

I racked the slide of the Glock, having just inserted a loaded magazine.
Raising the pistol in my manicured hand, I analyzed its manufacturing and
fine, sleek lines. My blood burned with a primal hunger to see Ruiz at the
end of the muzzle.
Zane returned from the back, holding what I’d been itching to put my
fingers on for the past year. He set the semi-automatic rifle on the cold
metal table and I immediately ran my hands over the carbon steel of the
sniper gun.
I let out a small whistle. “Now this is what I was talking about…”
“Careful. I know you haven’t even sniffed one of these in a year.”
 “Careful,” I shot back, meeting Zane’s cold eyes. “Don’t forget who’s
holding the deadly weapon.”
“I’d have you in a headlock on the ground before you pulled off the
safety.”
We shared a knowing look before we both chuckled.
Zane and I met way back when I was doubling the CIA. While I was
playing dirty cop, Zane had always been his own man. A highly sought-
after assassin who everyone wanted on their side – including Cosa Nostra.
And although the Familia would have sold half its kidneys to work with
him, he rarely helped them out.
Zane Takashi, known only by his code name Samurai/Python, was
untouchable. He rejected many interested clients and picked his
assignments carefully, his main focus being on his legit business, a gym in
Midtown. The location rugged enough to spark the curiosity of
multimillionaire hippies, yet luxurious enough to be for the higher class.
Zane and I weren’t necessarily friends. But we shared an appreciation
for guns, boxing, and revenge being a dish best-served piping hot, like the
burning flames of Hell.
“You sure that’s all you need? I got some MAC-11s you can have.”
Picking up my black gym bag stuffed with guns, ammunition and a
freshly sharpened machete, I shook my head. “I’ll be fine.”
“Alright,” He said, walking me to the exit of his underground
warehouse. He unlocked the door and turned to me one last time, with his
big brother voice. “Stay safe. And don’t let them in your head. That’s how
they get you.”
That’s how they get you.
I mentally groaned at how easily Zach had been able to get inside my
head. I wasn’t going to let it happen again.
I nodded. I didn’t take advice from anybody except probably Zane. He
was ten years older, a better fighter, and more experienced hitman – one of
the few men I respected because he treated me like his kid sister.
He extended a hand and I took it, leaning in a half-hug. We both patted
the other’s back and let go. Walking out into the rain, I heard the door lock
behind me.
A year ago, I’d promised myself to leave my old ways behind.
Tonight, I promised myself to leave a bloodbath in my path.
 I hid in the shadows, the rain pouring all around me in the darkness. It
masked my scent and presence as I waited for my eighth and hopefully last
victim. The last seven had been of no use, and now, a week later, I was
starting to get impatient.
I needed answers. Now.
The back door slammed against the wall I was leaning against,
allowing purple lights from inside the strip club to pour into the alley before
it slammed shut. Apart from the distant traffic and occasional siren, silence
accompanied darkness in the dirty backstreet.
Unaware of my presence, the man made his way towards the dumpster,
his back facing me.
I pushed off the graffitied brick and closed in, the bat swinging freely
in my hand as my palms itched for violence.
I waited for the imbecile to throw the trash bags in the dumpster before
I started his funeral. I didn’t want to leave even more of a mess behind.
Before he could turn around, I swung the metal bat to his leg – I wasn’t
playing fair. A babyish cry ripped through the air as he dropped one knee to
the cold ground. Rain and motor oil covered the pavement, reflecting a
blueish color.
I swung my bat to his other leg. Another scream. His knees buckled as
he fell forward, hands gripping the dirty dumpster in front of him.
I swung the bat over his arms. His sobbing muffled as he face-planted
the germ-contaminated plastic. My ears rang and all I could see, hear, feel –
focus on – was red.
When I felt as if I could allow myself a break to question the man, I
pulled off him and grabbed his collar. I’d beaten him so bad, he was an idiot
if he didn’t answer my questions.
“You asked around for me. Here I am.”
His eyes bulged with realization. The man stared at my face, yet only
my eyes were visible under the balaclava. He stared but didn’t answer, so I
lifted his body up by the collar and slammed his head into the cement. The
motherfucker knew exactly what I was talking about.
“I was just fo– following orders,” he managed to cough out, blood
spilling from his mouth.
 “Who’s orders?”
He squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to answer, so I was left with no
alternative option than to inflict more pain.
“Who?”
His chest jolted up frantically as he choked on his own blood. “Juan
Mendoza.”
“Where do I find him?”
“Corner bodega… On thirty-sixth.”
I stood when he began sobbing.
“She’s going to kill me…”
She.
Fucking Ruiz. I knew it.
His face was too mutilated to see me roll the silencer onto the gun. But
he felt the cold barrel as I pressed it against his mouth.
“No–”
I used the opportunity to push the gun down his throat. His cries shook
around it and the vile smell of piss filled the alley. Muffled pleas echoed as
my finger pulled off the safety. A sharp click later, the man laid on the
ground with a hole in the back of his head.
An hour later, the bodega’s fluorescent lights flickered and buzzed
across the street; the image mirrored in the sidewalk puddles. The rain
hadn’t stopped, and mist fell from a dark, starless sky.
My face was hidden beneath the hood of my jacket as I remained
standing in the shadows. I inhaled, smelling nothing but gasoline, and
listening to the tire noise of Bronx traffic.
I cracked my neck and knuckles before crossing the street. The sign
flickered above my head and a bell chimed as I entered the harshly lit store
with dirty, peeling laminate.
The cashier sat behind the counter smoking a blunt and looking at an
old Playboy centerfold. He was in his early thirties, already with a balding
head yet trying to hide it with a buzz cut. His hands were clean but I could
still see the dried blood under his dirty fingernails.
When I remained unmoved in the middle of the store, he flicked his
gaze up and put the joint out. “You alright?”
“I’m looking for Juan.” I advanced and removed my damp hood.
“Speaking.”
 That was all I needed to know before my hand darted out and locked
around the back of his head. Without warning, I smashed his face against
the counter as hard as I could. Blood splattered everywhere. Juan’s face
twisted with pain and anger. Before he could attack me, I grabbed his collar
and my fist connected with his face repeatedly – until his head was bobbing
back and forth.
Breathing hard, I used both hands to hold him up by the collar, over the
counter. Juan raised his red swollen eyes. They met mine with resistance
before widening with understanding. A corner of his busted lips lifted in
amusement before he tried to spit in my face. Instead, the bloody saliva
spilled past his chapped lips and down his chin. Pathetic.
I smashed his head again on the newly red counter and spit in his face,
showing him how it’s done.
My hand went to the back of my jeans and pulled the gun out of my
waistband. Using the barrel, I pushed his chin up. “Don’t fucking try me.”
But his chest jolted up frantically with an attempted laugh. More blood
spilled past the corners of his mouth and as his eyes widened abnormally,
his whisper sent a chill down my spine. “You’re dead, Ángel.”
The door leading to the back busted open and a group of large men
stormed in. Without letting go of Juan or moving my head, I peeked at the
group – only to see a familiar pair of ebony eyes already looking dead
straight at me.
And pointing a fucking gun at me.
Ah, shit–
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 15

Present
SHE WAS AVOIDING ME.
The morning after the party, I called her phone, although she had never
given me her number – the details of how I got it, irrelevant. I told myself it
was to finally set our date, but deep down I knew I just wanted to hear her
voice.
When she didn’t answer, I didn’t think much of it; maybe she was still
sleeping, or in the shower, or working out. I didn’t even twitch when she
didn’t answer again that evening. But a week, seven missed calls and two
flower bouquets later, I had a much different attitude toward the situation.
My cheek still burned from where she’d kissed me good night and my
dick still got hard at the memory. I seriously considered never washing that
side of my face again.
I could’ve asked her friends where she was. I could’ve drove to her
place… Or had Trevor find her on security cameras around the city.
The itch to do just that grew stronger by the minute, but I pushed it
down. I wanted to see her, but I had to let her come to me. Now, she knew
the lengths I’d go to for her: I would kill for her. Unlike the guys from her
past – who’d sworn to kill anyone that touched her but probably had never
even thrown a punch – I wasn’t bluffing; I was making a promise.
The woman thought I liked her.
I liked race cars and getting my dick sucked. But her?
I wanted her mind, body and soul to ache for me just as much as I
ached for her. To willingly and gladly get on her knees for me. To beg like
she never would with anyone else. To want to be mine.
 I wouldn’t deny her.
She would quickly come to realize I was the only one who could give
her what she really wanted. Needed. The knowledge settled me. Whether
she admitted it or not, there was fire between us; the more she tried to
outrun me, the crazier the burn made us.
Taking a deep breath, I pulled on my tie, loosening it. This meeting was
taking too fucking long and it was starting to get boring. The last thing on
my mind right now was how many kilos of cocaine were getting imported
into Miami tonight.
Just then, loud bangs came from the store. The men I was in the
meeting with stopped talking and listened, probably to see if the guy at the
front just dropped something. The meeting was in one of the back rooms,
behind a bulletproof door. The building posed as a local bodega on a corner
in the Bronx, when in reality it was a cover for access to tunnels that ran all
across the city undergrounds. This was how multiple drug chains managed
to distribute their collateral without the disturbance of the cops.
Not that it would’ve mattered either way – I had the NYPD on my
payroll – but sometimes clueless bottom-feeder cops who wanted to make
the world a better place and fill it with fucking rainbows and unicorns, got
involved and went looking where they shouldn’t. Then I had to be the bad
guy and shoot them dead, or – if they had one – send a rack to their families
to apologize for their screw-up sons.
I’d once made the mistake of giving someone the benefit of the doubt
and almost ended up dead. It was a mistake I was never going to repeat.
Women never tried to get on my bad side. They valued their life and
family instead of trying to fight an insignificant battle with the people who
controlled the world. The smart choice.
The Mexican Cartel was the largest narcotics organization, but I needed
others to do the dirty work for me, hence the Colombian and Brazilian
Distros sitting across from me.
More banging came through the walls and the men pushed back their
chairs and stood. Yawning, I glanced at my watch before standing and
walking out first. I couldn’t help but allow my irritation towards the
situation to seep through as I loaded my Glock. Some clueless kids were
probably trying to rob the store.
I didn’t like shooting teenagers. But sometimes, instead of doing their
math homework at the kitchen table, stupid teenagers tried shooting the
head of the Mexican Cartel and ended up with a bullet between their eyes.
I rolled my shoulders to release tension before opening the door. Just
because I had to do certain things, didn’t mean I fucking liked doing them.
The door slammed against the wall and I raised my gun towards the
person hovering over Juan, the watcher.
My gaze landed on a familiar pair of emerald eyes. They automatically
hypnotized me, capturing me in a trance. Time slowed, my heart stopped
beating and my breath caught in my chest.
But then she sighed and looked back at Juan, when realization kicked
in that it was me. Irritation scraped my insides at the fact that her shattering
eyes weren’t on me anymore.
I lowered my gun and signaled for the men to return to the meeting
without me. I watched her with pure confusion, yet not even slightly
surprised. Of course she would show up like this.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Maria ground her teeth but didn’t let go of Juan. “This doesn’t concern
you.”
I scoffed, looking around the store sarcastically. “You’re in New York.
On my territory. In my business.”
She didn’t move for a moment, and I thought I’d have to drag her off.
But then she groaned and without warning smashed Juan’s face on the
already bloody counter one more time before letting him fall to the floor in
pain.
She walked towards me and stopped a few inches away, raising her
chin to meet my eyes. Her hair was drenched from the rain outside and her
face bare from makeup.
“Some people fucked with me. I’m handling it.” Her voice came out ice
cold; mechanic. She turned to walk away and finish off Juan.
I let out a frustrated sigh and grabbed her upper arm, stopping her. She
looked over her shoulder to where my hand gripped her over the wet
material of her oversized black hoodie. Her eyes came up to mine, almost as
a warning to take my hands off her or I’d end up like Juan. How I’d love to
see her try.
I lowered my face almost to her level, yet still managed to tower over
her. “You can’t just come in here and kill my men.” Maria’s eyes became
slits and I turned my lips into a dark smirk. “I’m going to need a reason,
hermosa.”
 Something sparked in her eyes but she blinked it away. She faced me
again and stepped closer, her lips dangerously close to mine. She fixed me
with those goddamn eyes… And the following words left her so smooth
they hit me right in the fucking chest.
“He upset me.”
I didn’t respond, just watched her for a moment. She pressed her lips
together, almost as if trying to stop a smile, before a corner of her mouth
lifted into a dark smirk, mirroring my own.
I continued to watch her for another moment before straightening and
running an absent hand over my loosened tie. “Good enough for me.”
Juan was a dead man walking.
A click cut through the air.
Maria looked over her shoulder and aimed her Glock at the same time I
aimed mine. Two shots rang through the store. Juan fell back, his body
slumping on the floor along with the gun he planned to shoot either me,
Maria, or both, with. Blood pooled underneath him as disgust filled me.
Fucking rat.
Maria groaned in frustration and faced me again, shoving me in the
chest.
“What the–”
She groaned and pushed me again before landing a hard punch on my
abs. Unexpected pain shot through my stomach. “How the fuck am I going
to interrogate him now that you’ve killed him, huh!?”
Her face was unusually expressive, coasted with resentment and
tensity. The bags under her eyes told me she hadn’t slept in a long time.
My own built-up frustration from the past four days bubbled to the
surface. Grabbing both of her wrists, I immobilized her. Lowering my face
down to hers, I spoke through gritted teeth. “I didn’t do anything.”
Her breathing was angry and erratic as her eyes took in my expression.
I let go of her wrist and cupped her annoying, beautiful face in my hand.
Squeezing her cheeks, I turned her gaze towards Juan, who had her bullet in
his head. As I was only trying to disarm him, my bullet was in his arm.
I leaned down to speak in her ear. “You killed him, hermosa.”
My mouth was a mere inch from the pulse point on her neck and I
ached to clamp my teeth down and suck on the sensitive skin. Her wet hair
and perfume turned my mind hazy as I waited for one of her sarcastic
replies.
 But they never came.
Instead, her body jolted up as she sniffed.
I froze. Shock rolled through me at the realization that she was trying
not to cry. She avoided showing emotions. And from what I’d heard from
her friends, she never cried. I didn’t understand why she was crying when
she’d been the one to kill him. It couldn’t be guilt; she was an assassin.
Something sharp cut through my chest when another sniff escaped her.
My hand still holding her cheeks, I pulled her face back to me. She
restrained at first, before giving in; allowing me to turn her face, but she
didn’t meet my eyes.
My jaw tightened as I lowered my head even more, forcing her to look
at me. When she did, her face was dry, but tears were pooling in her eyes as
she battled for them to not fall.
Goddamn it.
I didn’t know why Maria was upset, but I was still going to resuscitate
Juan, beat the shit out of him, and then kill him myself.
I straightened and took off my suit jacket, pushing away the sharp pain
in my chest from knowing I had contributed to her pain. The last thing I
wanted to do was hurt her.
Maria tried stopping me when I began placing my jacket on her
shoulders, but a stern look quickly shut her up. Settling my hand on her
shoulder – and having it almost burn off at the contact – I directed her
towards the exit of the bodega and outside, where my G-class AMG 63 was
parked on the curb.
The rain hadn’t stopped and the air remained unusually cool for
summer. I opened the door for her as she got in. Before shutting it, I
propped my hand against the roof and leaned down to her level. “Wait here.
I’ll be back.”
She sighed and glanced around the car. “Zach, I have somewhere to
be–”
“I’ll be back.” I cut her off and shut the door before she could
complain. I also hit the child lock, earning a scowl from behind the tinted
window.
The bell attached to the door announced my presence as I re-entered the
bodega. I flipped the sign from OPEN to CLOSED and made my way to the
back rooms, stepping over Juan’s corpse.
 As I returned to the meeting room, the Distros rose from their seats as a
sign of courtesy and respect.
“I need to take care of a situation. We’ll talk business tomorrow.”
They nodded and began leaving, shaking my hand on the way out.
“Have a good night, Boss.”
I turned my attention to two of my young soldiers. “Juan was a rat.”
I said it as if that explained everything, and yet they nodded,
understanding perfectly.
“Clean up the mess and find a replacement.”
“Yes, Boss.”
I turned to walk away, throwing over my shoulder. “Make an example
out of him. Show how rats are dealt with in the Cartel.”
They swallowed and nodded. “Sure thing, Boss.”
Stifling a laugh, I walked to another back room where I had a change of
clothes.
My shirt was soaked and glued to my skin. There was no way I was
ruining my car seats.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 16

18 years old
MY EYES FLUTTERED OPEN AS the ship foghorn woke me out of
my sleep. Sitting up in the ferry’s worn-out plastic seats, I rubbed my eyes,
trying to remember how I’d gotten here. The salty sea air invaded my nose
before I inhaled the nasty smell of motor oil and trash.
Home.
The New York City skyline came into view just as the ferry passed the
Statue of Liberty. Big, grey rain clouds hovered above the city, the early
October wind whipping at my face. I pulled on the hood of my stolen
sweatshirt. After asking some island locals for directions and a boat ride to
the mainland, I was on the next ferry to New York.
Following the swiping of some cash from a guy’s wallet, I exchanged it
for coins and got into a phone booth. I dialed the number I once memorized
on the roof of a hotel in Moscow.
“Francesca?”
“Thank God you’re alive. The soldiers said everyone was dead when
they got there. I’ve been stress-shopping all day waiting to hear from you–”
“Yeah, I left when I saw the SUVs pull up. Listen… I’m actually back
in New York. Think you could help me out?”
“Of course, babe. Meet me at DeMone.”
An hour later, I was in Manhattan, making my way up the entrance
marble stairs of the DeMone, one of Francesca’s family’s many buildings,
when a man blocked my access.
“This is a private building.”
“I know. I’m meeting somebody.” I tried to walk past him but he
scoffed, pushing in front of me again and giving me a repulsed one-over.
 Looking down at my clothes, I understood. I was still wearing the
clothes from two days ago, ripped and dirty with dried blood – which
thankfully didn’t show on the black material – and probably smelled like
dead fish from swimming in the ocean. I could only imagine what my hair
and face looked like. He probably thought I was some nutcase.
“Can you let Francesca DeMone know I’m outside?”
The doorman laughed in my face. “Get lost before you wish you never
set foot here.” His accent bled through his rough voice, and I finally looked
up at his face properly, taking in his Italian features. Realization washed
over me. He wasn’t even wearing a uniform; well, not that of a doorman,
but that of the mob.
“Ignore him.”
I turned around to see Francesca stepping out of a black Hummer
Limousine, the driver holding her door open. Three men walked out of the
building from behind us to pick up multiple luxury shopping bags from the
car.
Although the sun was hiding behind grey clouds, a large pair of Dolce
& Gabbana sunglasses protected Francesca’s face from New York’s
peasants, matching her 2000s heels and brown fur coat. Her platinum hair
glistened and bounced as she made her way over to us, her signature red lip
the cherry on top.
“Thanks for waiting. Traffic was crazy.”
“Wasting more money?” The man next to me spoke up.
“We all have our addictions.” Francesca narrowed her eyes as he
brought a cigarette I hadn’t even noticed he was holding to his lips. “Maria,
meet my little baby brother, Tony.”
I mentally chuckled; the man was anything but little. And considering
Francesca was twenty-one, he couldn’t be that much younger.
I might have not known his face, but his name brought instant
recognition.
Antonio DeMone, known as ‘K.O. Tony’, was the youngest child of
Enzo and Silvia DeMone, and the official pain in the ass of the Cosa Nostra,
with the biggest playboy reputation from Vegas to Miami.
Despite being right-handed but able to knock anybody out with just a
left hook, nobody or nothing could knock him out.
Not a single professional fighter, which he sometimes only fought for
fun or others’ entertainment. Not even the strongest alcohol or purest drugs
imported from Eastern Europe and Latin America – hence the nickname
‘K.O.’.
Tony was known for being an extremist. Everything he did, he did to
the fullest. It didn’t help that what he did most was women and cocaine.
One could only imagine the lengths he went to when a problem arose
concerning the family business. Horror stories circulated the streets about
what he did to those who fucked with the New York Mafia – not only his
father’s, but any of the five families.
He was insanely reckless, which only meant there were no rules he
wouldn’t break, boundaries he wouldn’t cross, or limits he wouldn’t exceed.
“Tony, this is Maria Pérez, the…” She struggled to find the right term.
Hit-woman? Assassin? Cold-blooded murderer? “Contractor.”
Guess that was a nice way of putting it.
Tony turned to me, giving another repulsed one-over. I noticed the dark
circles under his eyes from busy days and sleepless nights. He blew smoke
in my face. “Only thing she’s killing is my fucking nostrils.”
I sighed and looked back at Francesca. “I need to use your shower. And
borrow some clothes.”
“What are you waiting for? I just bought like thirty new outfits. We’re
exactly the same size,” She said as we entered the building, making our way
to the elevators.
“Can I stay with you for a while?” I forced myself to swallow my
pride. I never asked for favors but we were friends and I was desperate.
“I already told them to get one of the apartments ready after our phone
call. You’re now the official proud tenant of 52B.”

“Fuck. You went rogue?”

“It was time.” I didn’t want to lie to Francesca, especially since she was
helping me so much, but I couldn’t explain what happened when I didn’t
even know myself. “I just need some time to lay low and get on my feet.”
I walked across Francesca’s master bedroom in a towel and grabbed the
burger she ordered through room service while I was using her bathroom.
While I now had keys to apartment 52B, it was empty.
 “You look so much better,” She said, flipping through this month’s
fashion magazines. “I didn’t want to say anything earlier but you looked
fucked-up.”
“Bitch, I almost died.” A laugh bubbled out of me, making Francesca
laugh in return.
Half an hour later, although my body was numb with exhaustion, I was
getting ready to go back out on the streets of New York.
“I need to see an old friend… Natalia Moretti,” I told Francesca. “I’ll
be back in a few hours.”
She raised a brow from where she was lounging on her huge bed.
“Moretti?”
“I know what you’re thinking, but no. It’s just a coincidence.”
Moretti also happened to be the name of one of the five New York
Mafia Families. Pure coincidence.
Before I could make it out the door, Francesca spoke up. “Twenty-one,
about five-foot-seven, strawberry blonde hair, brown eyes, loves pink, looks
super sweet but could kill you with her lip-gloss?”
I froze in the doorway, turning to look at her over my shoulder.
“How…?”
Francesca went back to flipping through magazines. “Yeah… I think
you two got some catching up to do.”

My leg bounced up and down with anticipation, the frown on my face

deepening by the second. I was now in Francesca’s apartment, sitting alone
on her couch and waiting. There was no way this was real. It couldn’t be.
As the front door clicked shut and footsteps echoed in the hallway, a
heaviness expanded in my chest, yet I still expected to see a girl I didn’t
know walk in.
Instead, the oxygen left my lungs. Natalia.
I immediately stood, and we both froze in our movements, neither one
of us believing this was real.
Five lost years.
My eyes burned and my throat felt heavy. She probably wanted nothing
to do with me after I disappeared on her. Still, I forced my voice to come
out steady. “I know this is fucked up but–”
Natalia closed the distance and hugged me so hard I fell back a few
steps. Her arms clawed onto me and I immediately wrapped her in my arms.
My chest ached and my eyes burned with regret. I never cried, yet the one
tear that did escape, burned my skin on its way down to my chin before
falling to the floor.
A soft sob escaped her. “I thought….” I thought you died. “What
happened?”
“It’s a long story.” We pulled back to look at each other. I gave a shaky
smile. “What about you?”
She smiled back. “Long story.” The same soft, brown eyes. The same
strawberry-blonde hair. The same dimpled smile. The same heavenly aura.
My sister. “We have all the time in the world though, right?”
I smiled wider. “Always.”
Everything was forgiven; forgotten. It was like no time passed, and we
were teenagers again, catching up at a local coffee shop.
I told her how I started working for the government as an assassin,
went rogue after Francesca saved my life, found out those I worked for
were all corrupt and disappeared. I told her mostly the truth; only leaving
out the unnecessary parts of how I got there in the first place by being
kidnapped and trafficked, and having to kill everyone in the end.
Then it was Natalia’s turn. Before I disappeared, I remembered she had
a roommate at NYU, Kali Su, and that she invited Natalia to a charity event
hosted by her family. There, she ran into the DeMone and Moretti family.
Everyone laughed and found it funny how Natalia’s surname was also
Moretti. It wasn’t funny anymore, when later that week, SUVs and armed
men showed up at Natalia’s campus, demanding she go with them.
Turns out the shared surname wasn’t a coincidence, but the result of an
accidental pregnancy from a not-so-accidental affair eighteen years ago.
Because Natalia was the long-lost secret daughter of Salvatore Moretti –
mafioso and Capo of the Moretti crime family.
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 17

Present
RAINDROPS SMASHED AGAINST THE WINDSHIELD of Zach’s
G-class as I waited for his return. They flowed over the glass like a
waterfall, blocking my view of the outside world. I didn’t like being
unaware of my surroundings, but somehow, being in Zach’s car brought me
a certain level of comfort.
My eyes still burned as my own vision blurred, but I refused to let the
tears fall. I didn’t cry. I never cried. What was wrong with me?
I’d anticipated anger and pain to consume my chest because of my
failed mission, but instead, all I felt was disappointment. Juan had been my
last trace, and now he was dead. Yet Ruiz, the puppet master pulling the
strings, was still out there somewhere.
There was a hole in my chest, that I could feel enlarging by the day.
Even as a kid, I remembered this… heaviness, though I didn’t
remember when it started.
It had always been there.
The knowledge didn’t bring me any peace, and I couldn’t find it in
myself to stop the pain.
Something was missing.
My body, my heart, my fucking soul – were aching for… something.
My head throbbed, my body was tired, and I could feel everything, yet
nothing at all. It had been such a shitty week, I just wanted to catch a break,
eat a burger and get some sleep.
The car dinged and the driver’s door opened. I jumped, but quickly
regained my cool as Zach got in. I’d been deep in thought and the rain
masked the sounds of his footsteps approaching from outside.
 I watched Zach start the car and drive off without a single word or
glance. Part of me was glad he wasn’t seeing my watery eyes. He’d
changed out of his suit and into black sweats, reminding me of the day he
cornered me in the library. My face warmed at the memory.
“Seatbelt.” His deep voice pierced the dark as we drove out of the
Bronx. Not one look at me.
It took me a moment to understand what he’d said.
Right.
I looked away and put my goddamn seatbelt on. This always happened
when he distracted me…
Out of boredom, or maybe to distract myself, I focused my attention on
his hands. But then I remembered what I thought his hands would feel like
on my body after that dream and now I needed something else to distract
me from him.
I looked away and out the window, as we got on the freeway. I yawned
but I knew I wasn’t sleeping any time soon; too much shit was going on in
my head.
Maybe it was the exhaustion or maybe the defeat, but I didn’t ask
where Zach was taking me. I couldn’t bring myself to.
The rest of the drive was silent and before I knew it, we were back in
Manhattan. Zach parked on the curb of a diner which I guessed we were
heading in to eat. I was practically starving; hadn’t been this hungry since
survival testing in what I had thought was the CIA.
Minutes later we sat at a table, waiting for our food.
Zach sat in front of me, watching me in silence. For once, I didn’t
return his stare, and instead focused on the inscribed cuts in the wooden
table. However, the silence grew thicker with each second, stretching
between us until I was suffocating from its tension.
“What did I do that was so bad you can’t even look at me?”
My eyebrows drew together as I finally met his eyes. I waited for the
annoyance to fill my chest, yet it never did. I simply remained unmoving at
his narcissism.
Men. Not everything was fucking about them.
When I didn’t respond, he leaned forward, resting his forearms on the
table. “Don’t give me that. Answer me.”
I wanted to. I wanted to scream in his face and tell him everything he
did that hurt me. From trying to get me to like him, to making me like him.
I wanted to drill it into his fucking head that I’d been doing perfectly fine
before he decided to come into my life.
I lowered my eyes. I was too fucking tired and hungry to have this
conversation.
A sardonic breath escaped him. “You know what’s funny?”
Nothing.
Everything was fucked.
And it was times like these, that he filled me with a fire, so intense, I
only knew how to put out with violence.
He didn’t speak until I met his eyes again.
“When you think no one’s watching, you forget I always am.”
My heart dropped like a weight between my legs.
“When you want to put distance between us, you only push us closer.”
My body physically tensed, despite my efforts to mask my emotional
discomfort.
He continued to watch me with the same midnight-dark eyes, and I
simply stared back. I didn’t respond because I knew it was true.
There was a magnetic pull between us, but that still didn’t mean it was
right.
“But then you remember you’re with me and…” He shook his head
slightly. “You’re back to being miserable.”
Something I didn’t dare to decipher crossed his eyes, and more than a
drop of shame bled through me when I looked away again.
He was saying things we weren’t supposed to. I wasn’t supposed to
know there was even the slightest chance he felt something real for me.
And he wasn’t supposed to know my mind had unwillingly wondered to
possibilities where I pulled him closer instead of pushing him away. These
were the things we were supposed to leave in the dark. Saying them out
loud wouldn’t do either of us any good.
Torturous silence stretched across us before he broke it again. “Tell me.
Why do you hate me?”
“I don’t hate you,” I snapped back, meeting his eyes. I wasn’t sure why
I wanted him to know I didn’t actually hate him. I should have been happy
that’s what he had assumed. It would have made it easier for both of us if it
had been true.
The raw honesty of my answer seemed to somehow satisfy him.
“Then what is it?” He asked before adding, “The truth.”
 I took a deep breath and glanced around the diner. “I don’t know you.”
“The truth.” Zach’s stern voice sent a shiver through my body.
I met his eyes again and licked my lips. Why was I like this? The words
left me before I knew what I was saying. “I don’t trust you.”
His eyebrows drew together as he leaned back against the booth,
crossing his arms and continuing to watch me even harder than before.
“I haven’t given you a reason to not trust me.”
I rolled my eyes. Men never understood what it was like for a woman;
you never knew someone’s true intentions. “You haven’t given me a reason
to trust you.”
“Bullshit.”
I gave him a look that made it clear I didn’t want to talk about it.
Zach gave me a look that made it clear he didn’t fucking care. “I
always make sure you get home safe.”
“Yeah, paying for a cab is a truly heroic act,” I mocked even though I
got butterflies just thinking about it.
“I always protect you.”
“Like I couldn’t do that myself?” Sarcastic laughter escaped me at his
audacity. “Who do you think protected me before you came along, genius?”
“I killed for you.” He spoke through gritted teeth, “Twice.”
The last of my patience snapped.
I smacked my hands on the table and leaned forward. “Don’t act like
that’s not just another part of your life. I know you’re a murderer.”
His nostrils flared. “A serial killer is more than three bodies. A mass
murderer is more than four.” He paused and leaned over the table, his face
inches away from mine. “What does that make you?”
My chest heaved with emotion as his words sank in.
What does that make you?
A survivor. A fighter.
But I would never confide in him about it.
“Go ask that in a mirror.” My words cut through the air, not helping the
tense atmosphere. I was willing to bet anything that our numbers matched.
I was so tired and so angry, I couldn’t think straight. I did the only thing
I’d ever known: I ran away.
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 18

Present

I RAN ALL THE WAY to the middle of the Manhattan Bridge.

My breathing was loud and blood roared in my ears, as cars passed me
at high speed. However, there wasn’t anybody else walking the bridge. It
was late – people were at home sleeping. What I would have been doing as
well if a certain dark-haired man didn’t kidnap me.
Slowing down, I approached the edge of the bridge and rested my
hands on the metal bars, trying to balance my breathing. I was angry, tired
and hungry – the worst possible combination. My head throbbed, making
my vision static. I closed my eyes for a moment, doing my best to avoid
fainting.
I dropped my guard. Only for a moment.
The rest happened in a heartbeat: a hand covered my mouth and I was
lifted in the air.
Before I knew it, I was falling.
I screamed as the air whooshed past me. Then I hit the icy water and
everything went quiet.
It was pitch black. Which way was the surface?
My pulse skyrocketed and I manically twisted and turned.
Panic.
The darkness muffled my screams. My chest jumped abnormally and I
fought harder to find the surface. My head buzzed as I began running out of
air. My chest was filled with something other than oxygen – a horrifying
feeling that this time I would not be dodging death.
This would be my end. A fucking shitty end. I was going to die with
unfinished business, not knowing who’d killed me. Whoever had come after
Ruiz had been watching me the whole time, decapitating their soldiers one
by one. And now, after stalking me from the shadows, they’d gotten me.
I began to lose consciousness as the cold darkness wrapped around me
like petroleum, dragging me into the deep. It was then, in the mortifying
silence, that I realized how many regrets I had. And although killing wasn’t
on the list, something a thousand times more terrifying was.
Zach.
How we’d left things.
Our last conversation had been an argument. And it felt like a knife was
twisting in my chest – but then again, I was drowning.
The void in front of me morphed into the abyss of his dark eyes.
As the last breath of oxygen left me… I heard him.
So close, it felt like he was sinking with me.
“Time’s running out, hermosa.”
It already did.
“Why would you pick some complete nobody, when you could have
me?”
I don’t know.
“You want me to kiss you. You won’t admit it.”
I can’t.
“What did I do that was so bad you can’t even look at me?”
Nothing.
“When you think no one’s watching, you forget I always am.”
I don’t. I can feel you. Always.
“But then you remember you’re with me and you’re back to being
miserable.”
That’s not true.
“Why do you hate me?”
I think I like you.
“I killed for you.”
I long for you.
Something caught around my wrist like a vice, with so much power I
thought some evil force was pulling me into the depths of the river.
I gasped as I was thrown over the surface before clashing against
something hard and warm; a body.
One arm was wrapped around my waist, holding me above water as he
fought to swim us to the shore. A weird feeling erupted in my chest and I
forced myself to stop a sob from escaping my throat.
He caught me.
“Zach?” I barely managed to ask after coughing out mouthfuls of dirty
water.
“Breathe. I’m here.”
I was so exhausted I couldn’t hold onto him. My hold weakened, and in
response, he squeezed me so hard, it hurt. We reached ground in what felt
like mere seconds, making me realize I probably passed out while he fought
against the currents.
Laying me down on the rocks, he cupped my face in his hands. “Are
you hurt?” He was breathing hard and for the first time, I saw fear in his
eyes. It was a weird sight, seeing a man as strong and powerful as him
portraying that emotion.
My mind turned foggy again and I was seeing spots. I absently brought
my hand up to his face and slightly shook my head.
Exhaling in relief, he dropped his head before getting to his feet and
picking me up, not wasting a second to catch his own breath.
“Zach.” My voice came out strained. “I’m fine–”
“Don’t start with me right now.”
He carried me in silence, anger radiating off him. At first, I thought he
was still angry at me or maybe whoever pushed me, but the longer I
watched his eyes, I saw he was angry at himself. I didn’t understand why;
he’d been the one to jump in after me and save me.
To comfort him – but mainly because I was exhausted – I wrapped my
arms around his neck and put my face in his chest. His body tensed before
he squeezed me tighter, bringing me closer to him. I closed my eyes and
sleep took over.

Her lashes fanned her cheeks as her eyes slowly opened. She looked at
me with a soft expression. Something dark expanded in my chest at the fact
that my eyes had been the first thing she’d seen when she woke up.
 Maria frowned when her gaze left me and took in our surroundings. We
were in my private elevator, going up to my penthouse.
“My place was closest.”
Another lie.
She nodded and leaned her head against my chest as I entered my
apartment. When I put her down in the bathroom she was shivering
uncontrollably.
I started the shower and moments later the room was fogging up.
Pushing her under the hot water, I grabbed her jacket and began taking it
off.
“W– What are you doing?” Her teeth clicked as she stopped me.
“You need to take these off or you’ll get pneumonia.”
“I’m n– not getting un– undressed.”
“If you don’t take your clothes off, I’ll rip them off for you.” My words
came out harsher than intended, but I was too angry about how tonight had
turned out, to care.
She stared up at me with big green eyes while her chocolate hair, now
black, began sticking to her face. Her eyebrows were knitted and her hand
fisted around the material of her clothes. I held her gaze as my jaw clenched
in frustration.
I took a deep breath and turned my back to her.
“Keep your underwear on.”
Silence.
I waited but nothing.
“Don’t make me repeat myself.”
“I’m not wearing a bra.” Her soft voice barely audible over the shower,
went straight to my dick. But the vulnerability of her words hit me right in
the chest.
“I won’t look.”
A moment of hesitation.
A second of doubt.
Then ruffle sounds filled the air, followed by the drop of her wet
clothes on the black tiles.
“Done.”
I kicked her clothes into a pile in the corner of the shower.
“Hey!”
 “I’ll get you new ones.” The sentence left me naturally before I even
knew what I was saying.
Turning around, I finished setting up the shower for her. I didn’t look,
but out of the corner of my eye, I could see Maria with her arms crossed
over her chest, along with a pop of the color red.
A red. Fucking. Thong.
“Wash your hair too,” I grunted, walking to the fogged-up shower door.
“What about you?”
Fuck me.
I kept my back to her. “What about me?”
“You jumped in after me. You’ll get pneumonia too.”
“I’ll be fine. There’s towels–”
“You don’t get to do that. If you die, I don’t want it to be because of
me.”
The fucking irony.
“Just… keep your underwear on.” She repeated my earlier words.
This wasn’t good. I could use any of the other four bathrooms. I could
tell her about the other four bathrooms.
Staying was a bad idea.
My hands went to the back of my neck and I pulled my T-shirt off.
Don’t do it.
I kicked off my shoes.
This won’t end well.
I pulled down my sweatpants.
When I turned around, Maria’s eyes were on my tatted chest. She
swallowed and looked up; her eyes immediately bored into mine.
Fire.
The desire to look at her – all of her – was so strong, but I controlled
myself. She didn’t trust me, so I needed to show her she could.
Running my tongue over my teeth, I kept my eyes above her head as I
joined her under the water.
I ran my hands over my wet hair and glanced down to see her watching
me – looking up at me with big eyes, her hands covering her tits.
“Thought I told you to wash your hair.”
Her skin, already flushed from the hot water, turned a deeper shade of
pink.
“I– I can’t… I’ll just wait till you’re done.”
 I shook my head. “Just turn around.”
A small frown formed between her eyebrows. I was ready for an insult,
backtalk. Hell, even a slap across the face. Instead, she did as I said. My
chest filled with a dark, twisted satisfaction when she listened to me without
hesitation. The red-blooded male in me wondered how obedient she could
be with the right person.
Her hands and long, sharp, red nails went in her dark hair. I physically
fought the urge to reach out and touch her.
How pretty they’d look around my cock.
Without thinking, I turned my head to the side, a piece of metal that
formed part of the shower wall catching my eye. The blurry image of Maria
imprinted on my mind. Her tits were the ideal size, not too big or small;
simply perfect to squeeze in my rough hands. Round. Firm. Soft.
The moment I blinked, the image of my mouth swallowing her small,
hard nipples flashed in my mind. Another blink – my tongue flicking over
it, my teeth grazing it.
I swallowed and looked away – big mistake.
Long, sexy legs. Thick thighs. Smooth bronzed skin. And her round ass
in that torturously small, red thong.
Blink – my hand fisting her hair. My dick pounding in her tight pussy
from behind.
Holy fuck.
I was going to get off on this for the rest of my fucking life.
And then I saw it; what changed everything. Her inner thighs sparkled
with something that wasn’t water.
Maybe this attraction wasn’t as one-sided as I’d originally thought.
Heat rushed to my groin until my cock grew and pulsed painfully
against my wet boxers.
I turned and walked out.
“Take your time.” Blood roared in my ears. “I’ll get you clothes.
Towels are out here.”
 I waited for the bathroom door to close before I leaned my back and
head against the black marble wall. I let out multiple breaths I didn’t know I
was holding. I throbbed between the legs, and my heartbeat pulsed in my
clit. My thong had gotten damp from more than just water and I could feel
it leaking down my thigh. My nipples were diamond peaks and my breasts
were unusually firm.
I couldn’t believe I’d gotten this worked up from him just looking at
me. I knew he had looked, and the worst part was that I didn’t even mind.
In fact, I liked it. And I wanted to drop all of my baggy clothes for him and
him only.
The tension had left me with whiplash and I knew he felt it too. His
breathing had grown heavy and for a moment I thought he was going to
touch me – I wanted him to touch me.
I turned the water cold.

With Zach’s white and gold Versace towel around me, I walked out of
the luxurious bathroom and into an even more luxurious dark bedroom.
There were clothes on the bed; boxers and a T-shirt.
I was not wearing this man’s underwear.
That would be too intimate.
And showering with him wasn’t?
I used the hairdryer to dry my hair as well as my own underwear. Then
I went through his closet. I needed something to wear on the way home
since I wasn’t going to spend the night. He probably just wanted to relax
after diving into the East River after me.
My headache had been unbearable at first, but after the hot water and
painkillers, I was doing surprisingly well.
I still had to find Ruiz, and whoever she sent after me to try to kill me.
But that had to wait until after I got some sleep and food.
I stole a pair of Zach’s sweatpants, put on the T-shirt he gave me, used
his toiletries, and cleaned after myself. I hung his wet clothes to dry – as a
thank you for saving my life – and put mine in a plastic bin bag.
Closing his bedroom door behind me, I wandered through the dark
apartment until I entered a large living room, plastic bag in hand.
 Zach got up from the charcoal sofa. “I ordered Chinese food– What are
you doing?”
His mood changed within a single second. I swallowed the knot in my
throat but was unable to meet his eyes.
“Thank you for everything but I need to get home.”
He continued watching me without saying anything.
I took a deep breath, avoiding his eyes, and fixing my own on his chest.
He wore a black T-shirt that hugged his large biceps, allowing free view of
the tattoos stretching across his arms. They were – to say the least –
distracting.
“Thank you for… Saving my life tonight but–”
“But you’re leaving.”
“Yes,” I said, finally meeting his eyes.
He scoffed before turning his head to the side; he smiled as he rubbed
his jaw. He advanced towards me; until he was closer than he should be –
closer than it was appropriate. I tilted my head up, trying not to be
intimidated, but after tonight’s events, that seemed almost impossible.
He leaned down, a cruel smirk on his lips. “You’re not leaving like
this.”
“I’ll wash these and give them back to you.”
His amusement faded. “You think this is about the clothes?”
“What else would it be about?” I tried to push past him, but he stepped
in front of me. “Get out of my way.”
He took another threatening step towards me. “Not until you get out of
my head.”
Anger and frustration oozed off both of us. I stared him straight in the
eyes as the tension built. Our breathing grew angrier – more erratic.
I could see the flames in his eyes and feel the fire in mine.
And then he snapped.
He grabbed me by the back of the neck and kissed me so deep and so
rough I was drowning in him.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 19

Present
THE STORM HAD STARTED AGAIN and rain pounded all around
us, against the windows of Zach’s penthouse. It drowned out the sound of
the outside world, the traffic, our breathing, even my thoughts…
I didn’t want to think.
For five fucking minutes, I didn’t want to fight or be angry or hate
everything.
I didn’t want to pretend I didn’t want this.
So when Zach threw me onto his bed, I didn’t even complain about
being manhandled. Instead, I propped myself up to watch him. My elbows
dipped into his mattress, covered in silky black sheets. I sat there, on his
large bed, naked and bare, only having my thong as a cover. However, I
didn’t attempt to cover up anymore. I was facing my fears and insecurities
head-on this time. Plus, the arousal clouding my judgment made it pretty
hard to concentrate on anything except him.
Zach stood at the end of the bed, tall and strong. The lights were off,
but the night cast him in its shadows. The bulge in his pants was
unmistakable, but he didn’t give me much time to wonder what laid beneath
the fabric of his clothes. His hands went to the back of his neck, pulling his
T-shirt off.
I swallowed.
Tan muscle covered in black ink. Complex tattoos stretched across his
defined body. Over his large arms, chest, torso, and defined abs – stopping
right before the V-line which disappeared under low-hanging sweatpants.
Two red lines were slashed against his chest, and a chill ran down my spine
when I remembered I’d left them there with my knife.
 This was the first time I’d seen him without a shirt. I’d been too shy to
really look at him earlier in the shower. I’d caught glimpses of different
areas before, but nothing compared to seeing him like this. My core
tightened with desire and I felt my nipples hardening even more. I needed
to feel him again.
In one swift motion, he pulled down his pants along with his boxers,
before straightening and standing in all his glory. It took everything in me
to hide my embarrassment and nerves at the sight of him fully hard.
Regardless, my cheeks burned and I had to bite my lip to keep from blurting
out something stupid like how big he was.
He already fucking knew.
He’d whispered it in my ear before, and I guessed the joke was on me
because he hadn’t lied one bit.
I took my time taking in every inch of him, not even caring when he
smirked at my obvious admiration. Everything about him was chiseled – his
chest and six-pack, even his cock – and I slightly hated him for the
perfection. For how it made my body have a mind of its own and for taking
my power and control away from me.
He made me feel everything at once.
Anger.
Fear.
Ecstasy.
Want.
Need.
There was no denying it anymore. I just wasn’t sure how I was going to
tame the desire inside me.
Zach watched me back with equal fire, his eyes night-dark, devouring
light in their intensity.
He advanced, placing one knee on the bed and fixing me with a gaze so
dark it made me shiver in anticipation. Every move was calculated, aimed
to show off his muscles and strength. He climbed over me, forcing me to
lay down flat on the bed as his chain hung down from his neck. Holding his
weight in his hands on each side of my head, he watched me for a moment.
Before I knew what I was doing, my hands were running up the sides of
his body. When I reached his strong shoulders, I dug my sharp nails into his
muscles. Neither of us broke eye contact once and I thought I was going to
lose my mind if he didn’t stop teasing and start touching me.
 That was all it took for him to drop his head and finally kiss me. He
lowered himself on his forearms, pinning me to the mattress with his
weight. My hands moved to his neck, then his hair, tugging and pulling, and
we both kissed like time was running out.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been this close to somebody.
A soft groan of disapproval left me when he pulled away, but it was
quickly replaced with a whimper when he lowered his mouth to my chest,
swallowing one of my nipples.
I moaned when he slightly dug his teeth in before sucking. Up until
now, he’d only kissed around the area which would leave me breathless,
only to intentionally drive me crazy. But now, he was focused on it, giving
me what I wanted. Switching between my breasts, and massaging them in
his rough hands, giving both his full attention.
“Tell me, Maria,” He rasped. “Has anyone touched you like this
before?”
No.
No one.
Not ever.
The words were on the tip of my tongue, but instead, I bit my lip. A
moan escaped me but I didn’t respond. Couldn’t.
“Has anyone even seen you like this?” He pushed, his voice growing
dangerous. Yet there was an undertone of teasing which I didn’t miss.
God, was I that obviously inexperienced? Embarrassment shattered
throughout me before he flicked my nipple with his tongue, making me roll
my eyes back and not give a fuck about any of it anymore.
“Hmm?” He continued, making it clear he wanted an answer.
“Zachary…”
“What’s my name?”
“Zachary,” I moaned, not thinking.
He nipped my sensitive skin, making me arch away from him. I was
about to slap him because it hurt – differently than any type of pain I’d ever
felt before – but then he licked over the small bundle of nerves before
sucking it back into his mouth, making me forget what I was even mad
about, to begin with.
“What’s my name?” He rasped, harsher.
“Zach…” I replied, melting into him. I couldn’t even bring myself to
hate the way it left my lips so naturally.
 He began kissing down my stomach, sending shivers rocking through
me and leaving goosebumps behind. But then, his fingers hooked under the
strap of my thong and alarm bells went off in my head.
Again, I grabbed his hands, fixing him with a stern face. "These are
staying on."
I wanted to slap myself. I might as well have spelled it out for him that
I hadn’t done this before. But I needed to keep some type of physical barrier
between us, even if it was as ridiculous as underwear.
Zach’s eyes flashed, sending a clear signal.
The asshole already fucking knew.
Yet he only smirked, not looking even slightly bothered. “No problem."
I didn’t have time to dwell on it when Zach returned to kissing down
my stomach. My heart skipped a beat when he kissed the inside of my inner
thigh. His strong arms wrapped around my thighs, opening them and
holding me in place with force. He began closing in, getting nearer and
nearer to the material of my thong with every kiss on my thigh. He burned
against my skin and it felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest
from how fast it was beating.
My back arched when he laid a kiss just above my clit, showing where
I wanted him. In response, he tightened his hold on me, pinning me to the
mattress and immobilizing me.
“Zach!” I groaned in protest when even after multiple times, he refused
to touch me where I needed him. He was torturing me on purpose and I
couldn’t take it anymore. I was so worked up, I could feel my wetness
dripping down to the sheets.
Zach’s dark chuckle vibrated against my sensitive skin, sending a small
wave of pleasure through me but leaving me even more frustrated than
before. He was finding this amusing?
“Ugh, I hate you–”
I yelped when his teeth grazed over my clit.
“Watch it.” His warning came dangerously calm.
I opened my mouth to say something snarky but decided against it.
Instead, I kept my eyes on the ceiling, laid my hands on my abdomen and
patiently waited for Zach to return to his current occupation.
I could practically feel the smirk growing on his face.
“Good girl.” His voice wrapped around me like velvet. In response,
goosebumps formed over my whole body and there was nothing I could do
to hide it. I bit my lip to try and ignore the embarrassment, when Zach’s
rough hand began rubbing circles over my thigh. “But I’m going to need
your eyes on me, baby.”
Taking a deep breath, I readjusted myself so I could watch him. Ebony
eyes met mine, stealing the breath from my chest. I thought seeing Zach
between my legs would feel somehow degrading, but it was actually the
opposite – empowering, in a way I’d never experienced before.
Without taking his eyes off me, he lowered his head and laid a kiss on
my clit. Pleasure flowed through me and I drew in a breath, parting my lips
slightly. But then his lips left the material of my thong as he lowered
himself even more. His mouth opened, and his tongue connected with my
entrance before doing a torturously slow lick back up to my clit.
When a moan escaped my lips, he smiled against my sensitive skin,
before jerking me slightly lower down the bed. As I fell back on the bed, he
didn’t let me get up again. His hands slid up, over my stomach, grabbing
both of my tits. Then his warm, wet mouth was on my clit again and I
arched into him, remembering what I imagined he would feel like in my
dream. Nothing compared to this.
He continued to lick me over the material of my panties, filling the
room with my moans and his groans of pleasure. Every single one of his
growls vibrated against me, making me roll my eyes to the back of my head
and dig my nails into his forearms resting on my stomach.
My climax was building up incredibly fast, and before I knew it, I was
shaking underneath him in the aftermath of my orgasm. Zach didn’t stop,
forcing me to ride it out until I was twitching and squirming away from
him. Finally, he pulled away and I slumped on the bed, gasping for air. My
mind was hazy and I felt like I was out of my body.
Zach slowly climbed back over me and left the softest kiss on the scar
cutting down my brow. “You did so good, hermosa.”
I whimpered in response.
“You like being my good girl, hmm?”
When I looked up at him, my hands went to the sides of his neck,
pulling him down; the coldness of his chain touching my chest. Our lips
met and when I tasted myself on his tongue, I moaned into the kiss. He
groaned in response and pulled me closer, pressing his erection against me
for the first time. I pulled away and gasped at the unfamiliar feeling.
 Part of me was terrified, and yet the other was thrilled although I knew
I wouldn’t go all the way tonight.
Still, I grinded against his hard length, earning an impressed chuckle
against my lips. It rocked through me, leaving my skin tingling behind.
Zach rolled his hips harder against me, forcing a whimper past my lips.
“You’re only a good girl for me. Right, baby?”
Without thinking, I wrapped my legs around him, locked my ankles,
and pulled him closer. A masculine sound of satisfaction left his chest
before he fisted my hair and began grinding against me, over and over
again.
Although he wasn’t inside me, I still had to hold onto his shoulder as I
slid up and down the sheets, his chain hitting my neck. The head of his cock
hit my clit with every thrust, followed by the glorious length of the rest of
him, and the hit of his sack against my opening. Blinding waves of pleasure
rolled through me as another orgasm built at my center, and my nails dug
into his muscles while his grip on my hair tightened.
As he grabbed my waist with one strong hand, Zach leaned down to
speak in my ear. His voice came out dangerously dark – raw with desire and
hunger. "I bet this is the best sex of your life and I’m not even inside you
yet."
Another whimper escaped between my moans and that was all it took
to tip me over the edge. His bedroom filled with my cries, his groans, and
the sounds of ruffled sheets until I was shattering underneath him, and he
was coming on my stomach.
Eventually, we both stopped moving, our chests raising and dropping
heavily. Zach slowly turned his head and caught my mouth in another mind-
blowing kiss. However, I never unwrapped my legs from around him, and
after a hot make-out session, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I could feel that
he was still hard, so I moved my hips against him. He grinded back, but
before he could do more, I untangled my legs and pushed at his chest. Since
I wasn’t strong enough to flip us, I had to signal for him to do it.
He fell on his back, taking me with him, and never separating our lips
once. My hair drooped around us, but he didn’t seem to mind at all. His
rough hands dropped to my ass, squeezing hard once before going back up
to my waist.
Grinding into his erection, I pulled away from the kiss and whispered
against his lips. “Show me how?”
 Zach’s hand fisted in my hair, pulling me back to him. “Fuck,
Maria…” Our lips met again as his hands slid down my back to my ass, his
fingers digging into me.
He began to move me roughly, controlling my movements, exactly how
he liked it. Under the material of my thong, my clit slid up and down his
length, as my wetness dripped down on him. Each thrust sent a wave of
dopamine through me, and I started to wonder why we hadn’t done this
sooner.
He dry-fucked me so good I was seriously considering taking off my
underwear and going further. Too soon, my head fell on his shoulder as my
orgasm ripped through me, and he nuzzled his face in my neck.
Through half-lidded eyes, I looked down at his cum glistening on my
stomach and his defined abs. Electricity sparked through me and I thought
I’d never seen something so hot.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 20

Present
MY THROAT FELT LIKE SANDPAPER and my head pounded
against my skull. My whole body shook as I coughed. Groaning in pain, I
readjusted my towel as I left the bathroom.
I hated being sick. It fucked with my senses and slowed my reaction
time immensely. I sighed, for a moment regretting that I ran away– walked
home from Zach’s place in my wet clothes. They were still in the plastic
bag in his living room when I did my walk of shame out of his bedroom
after lying about needing to use the bathroom.
Part of me was irritated at how things had played out, but I didn’t
necessarily regret it. So what if we stayed up for hours making out and
grinding against each other? I was twenty. An adult. A grown woman. I
could do whatever the fuck I wanted. Leave whenever the fuck I wanted. I
didn’t need to explain myself.
Facing Zach again was the problem… I hadn’t seen or heard from him
since I left his place yesterday morning. Granted, I had been hiding in my
apartment, curing my cold which was almost over.
Yawning, I continued my post-shower routine before returning to the
movie playing on my TV in the living room. My stomach growled, but I
ignored it since I couldn’t be bothered to cook right now.
I began to drift off when a loud bang woke me up. I jumped, trying to
understand what planet I was on. Rubbing my eyes, other loud knocks came
from the front door.
Groaning, I got up to open the door for Natalia. I appreciated her help,
but she checked on me too often when I was sick.
 Without checking the peephole, I unlocked and swung the door open,
expecting to see a 5’7 Natalia dressed in probably pink. However, I was met
with a man’s large chest. My eyes rounded before I looked up to meet
Zach’s angry eyes.
I opened my mouth to say hi, or maybe try to explain why I sneaked
out on him, but before I even registered it, he grabbed my face in his hand,
squeezing my cheeks. He leaned down, examining me with dark, sharp
eyes. My heart raced, thinking he was going to kiss me.
For the first time in my life, I felt… insecure. The last time he’d seen
me I looked a damn mess after being thrown in a goddamn river, and now
he was seeing me at my lowest during a cold.
My throat tickled, and before I could even think about stopping, I had
to cough. I didn’t open my mouth, attempting to hide it, but the thump in
my chest was unmistakable.
Zach’s eyes turned to slits and he scoffed in disbelief. As he
straightened, he pushed my face away and moved past me, entering my
apartment.
I blinked, trying to ignore the sharp pain in my chest at what he’d just
done. Unsure how to react, I busied myself by closing and locking the door.
Fixing my face and posture, I followed him into the kitchen. “If this is
about what happened–”
“Did you walk home in your wet clothes?” He advanced towards me,
and before I could stop myself, I took a small step back.
I faltered at the anger radiating off him. “What? Um, well yeah, I–”
He ran his hands through his hair, a deep, dangerous laugh rolling
through him. “You know, Maria, the whole fucking point of getting you
under hot water was that you wouldn’t get sick.”
I blinked in response. He wasn’t mad that I lied and left with no
explanation? “You’re mad at me because I caught a cold?”
“Mad? I’m fucking pissed off. About a lot of things.” Insinuation
carried his voice. So both; great. He closed the space between us. “You
better pray you don’t get pneumonia or some shit, because if you do I swear
I’ll–”
“Did you come all the way here just to yell at me?” My voice came out
more of a whisper than I would’ve liked to admit. And because of the cold,
and because I was exhausted and hungry, I felt my eyes get just a little bit
glossy.
 Zach frowned at my expression before running a hand down his face
and sighing. He turned his back to me, getting back to whatever he was
doing on the kitchen island.
“I brought you hot food. Natalia said you weren’t eating.”
I took a deep breath and regained myself. “Thanks.”
Zach began unpacking the takeout I hadn’t even noticed he’d carried
inside.
He pinned me with serious eyes. “Eat.”
“I’m not really–”
“Don’t start right now.” He slightly shook his head, his face softening,
but I didn’t miss the slight hurt that passed through.
I sighed and took the soup to the couch. I didn’t have the energy to
fight him anymore. Moments later, Zach sat next to me with his own food,
before throwing a blanket over my shoulders.
I gave him a small smile but he didn’t see it. And although I was
already too hot, I didn’t remove the blanket. Maybe it was exhaustion, but
maybe it was guilt over how I’d left things between us. He had every right
to not speak to me again after I lied; over and over again…
And yet, here he was. It wasn’t like he’d done the impossible by
bringing me food and keeping me company, but I appreciated the gesture,
especially since we weren’t necessarily friends.
In the next hour, we ate in silence and finished the romantic comedy –
which I was surprised Zach made no complaints about – before he cleaned
up for us, and I left to shower and freshen up again. When we settled back
on the couch, I gave him the privilege of picking the next movie. Then he
put his arm around the back of the couch, and after a few minutes, dropped
it around my shoulders. We didn’t look at each other, which actually made
me glad since I couldn’t have covered the stupid smile on my lips even if
I’d tried.

A familiar smell invaded my lungs as I began to wake up; a dark

masculine fragrance. It filled my lungs, turning my mind hazy. I breathed in
again… smoky aroma mixed with sage, mint, and wood. This time, it went
straight between my legs, throbbing softly. Never in my life had I been so
turned on by a scent before.
Without opening my eyes, I shifted closer, snuggling into the blanket.
My bed felt better than normal; warmer and firmer.
I gave myself a few minutes before I softly opened my eyes. My head
was still cloudy from the scent consuming my senses, and I had to blink it
away a few times.
I blinked again, clearing my vision to see familiar tan, tatted skin. A
chill rushed through me, realizing I was laying on Zach, his T-shirt from last
night now gone. I looked above his chest — still scarred from my knife —
to see the Sunday Moto GP race playing on mute on the TV.
I slowly looked up to see one of Zachary's hands supporting his head as
he watched the race. I felt his other arm snaked around my back, holding
softly onto my waist. Something fluttered in my chest at the feel of his hand
on me, and I watched him for a moment, studying his face. Dark,
maintained hair; smooth, tan skin; nice lips and cheekbones; strong nose
and jawline; ebony lashes.
The sun warmed us in its trance, turning Zach’s tan skin golden and
causing his chain to reflect its light. Yet, his eyes always remained midnight
black. It was fascinating.
After a few moments, I pushed myself up, causing him to turn and look
at me. I let out a small laugh, "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."
His hand remained on my waist, as he took me in, frowning in that
charming-concerned way of his. "Feel better?"
I nodded. I wasn’t coughing or sneezing, and my headache was gone.
But I couldn’t find it in me to let the words out.
“Good.”
He was watching me so intensely, I looked away, and my eyes landed
on the scars I gave him on his chest. The cuts were a thin red and healing,
meaning they would eventually disappear. However, that didn’t stop any of
the guilt filling my chest. Why did I have to be such a bitch all the time?
Absently, my fingers brushed the cuts on his chest, and strange,
unfamiliar words left my lips. “I’m sorry.”
They hung heavily in the air, and neither of us dared to break the serene
silence. I thought saying them would make me weak, but just like
everything else involving Zach… it felt nice.
 It felt weirdly liberating to be vulnerable in front of somebody. What
had been squeezing my lungs like a vice my whole life… was gone. And I
could finally breathe. It felt fucking amazing.
His rough hand came up to brush some unruly strands of hair out of my
face. “Don’t worry about it.”
Charcoal eyes bored into mine and I just looked at the man in front of
me. He was the first person to break my walls as much as he did. He was
the first guy to not give up on pursuing me. He never disrespected me. He
killed two men for getting too close to me. He jumped into the East River
after me and saved my life. He got me safe and warm… Made me come
over and over again… And even after I left with no explanation, he still
came back.
Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all…
My eyes left his, falling on the cuts again, and guilt hit me right in the
gut. I lowered my head and laid a soft kiss on the red slashes.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled against his skin, my manicured nails slightly
digging into him.
“Hey, hey…” Zach shook his head, grabbing my chin to bring me back
up to his eye level.
Our eyes involuntarily bore into each other and time slowed. His gaze
dropped to my lips, and mine to his, as his hand snaked around the back of
my head. He pulled me in, our lips meeting with such soft tenderness, it
made my whole body buzz with electricity and warmth.
Pushing my embarrassment and nerves away, I slightly pulled away
and began kissing the corner of his mouth, to his sharp jaw and down his
neck. His hand fisted my hair as I continued leaving butterfly kisses, just
like he had done to me the other night. But when my lips continued going
lower, past his muscular chest and down his defined abdomen, his hand in
my hair forced my head up.
“What are you doing?” He asked through ragged breaths. He was so
worked up, it brought a mischievous smile out of me.
“I’m apologizing.” I didn’t give him any time to process my words
before I dropped my head again, and continued kissing above his
waistband, between his V-lines. My fingers went underneath the band of his
boxers, but before I pulled them down, I darted my tongue out and licked
the skin along his waistband.
 I pushed myself up on my knees, between his legs, before pulling his
sweatpants and boxers down. His cock jumped out, already hard, and my
mouth went dry. I had seen how big he was before, but that was in the dark.
Now, without the mask of the night, I realized he was larger and thicker
than what I had mentally prepared myself for. My heart dropped like a
weight between my legs; he really hadn’t lied.
Nerves sizzled beneath my skin, and I was scared to let go of his pants,
thinking my hands would start shaking. Because of the grand amount of
morning light, I could see every detail of his cock – like the large vein
running up the underside and disappearing underneath the head.
I ran my tongue across my lips, taking one more moment to prepare
myself. Zach didn’t rush me, simply crossed his arms behind his head
before readjusting on the couch. I knew I had to meet his eyes at one point,
I just couldn’t yet.
Instead, I loosened my hand from his pants and before I could
overthink, wrapped my fingers around his length. Zach hissed in a breath
and my heart thumped against my rib cage when his abs flexed. In an
attempt to cover up my inexperience, I tightened my grip on him. He was
stiffer than I expected, and it intimidated me more than I would’ve liked to
admit.
I could figure out how to do this by myself. I mean… how hard could it
be? Everybody did it.
I moved my hand up and down, surprised at how heavy he felt in my
palm. I knew Zach was watching my every movement but I couldn’t meet
his gaze, too mortified by my own courage.
“You can grip harder. It won’t fall off.” He chuckled after a few more
of my tentative strokes.
I flushed but pushed through the embarrassment. I moved myself to lay
on the couch on my stomach, between his legs, and squeezed my hand
around his cock, harder like he told me. A masculine groan escaped him and
it sent a wave of reassurance through me. He was already leaking with pre-
cum so I lowered my head and swiped my tongue over his tip. The taste was
slightly salty on my tongue and I couldn’t help but look up at him while
licking my lips.
He watched me with lazy eyes, but the intensity of his stare stole the air
out of my chest. Without breaking eye contact, I laid a soft kiss on his tip,
then another.
 “I haven’t,” – kiss – “Done this,” – kiss – “Before.”
Zach gritted his teeth, his abdomen contracted and his erection twitched
in my palm.
I brought my lips back to his head and parted them, allowing spit to
spill from my mouth and onto his cock. I pressed my lips together as I
moved my hand up and down his length, spreading the wetness. “Let me
know if I’m doing it wrong.”
Before he could respond, I looked back down and closed my lips
tightly around his head. I sucked on the tip while circling my tongue around
it, earning groans of pleasure from Zach.
“Fuck, Maria…” His abdomen flexed, and I could tell he was holding
back from thrusting into my mouth. He was taking it easy on me because it
was my first time; I didn’t know if I should have felt relieved or insulted.
“You’re fucking addicting.”
Smiling, I released him with a pop and readjusted my position as I
continued to stroke him harder. My hair flowed down my shoulders and
after I pushed it out of the way once, Zach’s hand moved into my hair. He
fisted it, softly pulling at my scalp, but not forcing me. The way his fingers
tensed told me he was trying not to push my head down.
“You feel so good, hermosa.”
I lowered my head again, this time meeting his eyes as he watched his
cock disappear between my lips. My fingers rested at his base; clean and
trimmed. I moved my head up and down until he hit the back of my throat
and I had most of him in my mouth.
He didn’t look away from me once.
“You’re doing so good, baby.”
Warmth pooled between my legs at the praise, and as I rubbed my
thighs together, I couldn’t stop a moan from leaving my throat. Zach’s grip
tightened in my hair as he groaned, making me hum more, the vibrations
wrapping around his cock. I moved faster, running my hands over his six-
pack and digging in my long, sharp nails.
“I’m gonna come,” He warned. That only made me suck harder,
gripping his muscular thighs and abs to find better leverage. Zach’s head
fell back as he came with a deep groan, and I didn’t pull back when he shot
his cum down my throat. After his praise, I made sure to swallow every last
drop of him. It was more than I’d expected, but that only made my
confidence skyrocket. A small amount escaped, dripping from the corner of
my lips.
I kept him in my mouth, waiting for him to go soft – but he didn’t. He
wasn’t as hard as he’d been but he definitely wasn’t soft.
I slowly raised my head, pulling him out. Not being able to stop from
grinning, I wiped my mouth and continued stroking him, his hips bucking
in response.
“Why isn’t it going soft?”
Zach frowned in confusion before realization set in and his mouth
twisted in a grin that bordered on proud. “I came but I’m still turned on. It
takes a lot more to make me go soft.”
“Is that so?” I spoke softly, kissing his tip again before licking it clean,
my hand still moving up and down his length.
I was about to take him into my mouth again, but before I could, he
picked me up and pulled me over him. His lips were inches away from
mine. “What are you doing to me?”
I replied with another question. “Am I forgiven?”
“Fuck yes.” He slammed his lips against mine passionately, making me
moan in his mouth when his tongue moved against mine.
My chest erupted with unfamiliar sensations that made me want to stay
like that forever, but I forced myself to pull away and ask what I needed to
know.
“For everything?” I mumbled against his lips.
“It’s all in the past, hermosa.” His palm stroked my cheek and we both
enjoyed the peace of the moment. It felt nice being this close to somebody,
but I knew it wouldn’t have been the same with just anybody. He was the
one making me feel this way. “You didn’t have to swallow your first time,
you know?” Zach pulled me back in and kissed me again.
I frowned but didn’t pull back to look at him. “I wanted to make you
feel good. Plus… I liked it.” I expected to feel embarrassed after my
confession, but instead, I felt lighter.
Zach let out a breathless laugh. “Don’t say things like that to me. I
might not let you leave.”
Before his words could register in my head, he pulled me back in,
kissing me until I was nothing but a mess. I was so worked up and hot, I
needed Zach to touch me or I would lose my mind.
 Almost as if he could read my mind, his hands moved to my lower
back before grabbing my ass roughly under my yoga pants. I moaned in his
mouth, and a dark masculine groan formed in his chest when he found I
wasn’t wearing underwear. His thumb moved to my crease before slowly
going lower. I shivered violently when he brushed my back entrance but
that didn’t seem to matter.
He didn’t slow his movement.
And I didn’t stop him this time.
My thighs were already sleek from the blowjob I gave him, which
honestly felt like it was more for me than him. His palm brushed my ass as
his finger went over my opening and clit like a feather. I was throbbing and
he was barely touching me. I felt like I was going crazy, getting more
worked up with each second he continued to kiss me deeply.
But then he moved his palm between my thighs and cupped me tightly.
The pressure felt so intense I dropped my head to his shoulder, not being
able to kiss him back anymore. My nails dug into his chest as I rolled my
hips into him, feeling his rough palm against my pussy and his hard cock
under my stomach.
He began moving his fingers in circles around my clit and my mind
exploded with serotonin. Every time he touched me, it only ever got better.
My wetness dripped down to my sensitive bud, making Zach’s touch
feel even smoother while collecting in his palm.
“I don’t remember the last time a woman was this wet for me. Baby,
you’re drenched.”
I knew I was. I could feel my pants sticking to my thighs and lower
stomach. And yet, I couldn’t find a care in the world.
His hand moved back and forth once to get me wet everywhere, before
returning to my clit. As he continued to rub me in circles, I felt him press
his thumb to my entrance. He slowly entered me, stretching me with so
much pleasure, my mind went hazy. This was the first time I had anything
other than my own fingers inside me and it felt undeniably better.
He slid in and out of me, painfully slow, as his fingers continued
working me on the outside. His other hand gripped my ass so hard, the pain
was morphing into something better. And then he curled his thumb, hitting
the perfect spot and tipping me over the edge.
I cried out in pleasure and surprise, my lips brushing his shoulder and
my nails digging into his chest. Electricity ran from my core throughout my
body, lighting a fire in its wake. He drew out my orgasm for a long time,
until I was rocking back and forth, and rolling my hips into his hand,
wanting more – needing him deeper.
My mind was still in a blur when something began buzzing on the
coffee table. Before I could even register that it was my phone, Zach
answered it.
“What?”
“Umm… Is Maria there?” Natalia’s worried voice came through.
Alarm bells rang in my head. Nobody knew Zach and I even tolerated
each other, let alone kissed or did anything else. I’d enjoyed our little secret,
and I didn’t want our friends to find out. They were going to make a big
deal out of it when in reality, Zach and I were just messing around.
I gasped and reached for the phone, but Zach only fingered me harder
and rubbed me faster, making my head fall back on his chest. I had to bite
my lip to keep my whimpers in.
“She’s busy.” His voice was so calm; seemingly unaffected by how he
was knuckles deep inside me. I was a mess, on the verge of my second
orgasm, and he was taking a call he should have never even answered to
begin with since it was my phone.
The silence on Natalia’s end made my heart stop in anticipation. Zach’s
words and tone were – to say the least – suggestive. Did she suspect
anything?
“Zach?!” Natalia’s surprised voice finally came through.
“Yes?”
“Wait– Are you two…?”
“Yes.”
And then he hung up.
I was breathless and about to come, but still managed to hit his chest.
“You asshole!”
His hand came down hard on my ass, making me jump in surprise. I
scowled at him, but he only took my open mouth as an opportunity to wrap
his hand around my throat and pull me into him. My skin buzzed when I
felt his lips brush mine. But then he pulled back, making me groan.
“Go on. Say it again.” Zach’s dangerous and challenging voice warmed
my skin, but his eyes were so dark they made me swallow my next retort.
“What’s wrong, hermosa? Has spanking turned you mute?”
 My eyes became slits but it was too hard not to focus on his hand
working me. He never stopped rubbing or fingering me, and when I
remained silent, he kissed me again, harder, and my body hummed in
response.
Zach’s grip on my neck loosened, his hand moving down my spine.
When he reached my lower back, his touch disappeared before hitting my
ass again and grabbing me roughly. A shiver of pleasure rolled through me
and my lips parted with a moan, not being able to kiss him back anymore.
I was so wet, the room was filled with the sounds of him working me.
Gripping my ass even harder and rougher, I shattered on top of him. He
swallowed my moans, continuing to devour me, and I let him. My sharp
nails dug into his shoulders as he continued to rub me, dragging out my
climax as wetness filled his palm.
When I couldn’t take it anymore, I squeezed my thighs together and
tried to wiggle out of his grip.
“Zach…” I whimpered in his mouth. A silent plea to let me catch my
breath. But he didn’t stop – only let go when my legs began twitching
uncontrollably. As my head fell down on his chest and I took deep breaths
to calm down, his hands rested on my ass, holding me in place. His bulge,
still pressing against my stomach, made butterflies go crazy inside me.
He leaned down and I felt his lips on my cheek, covering my face in
kisses. When he pulled back, I brought my hand to his neck and watched
him with half-lidded eyes. Without looking away, he brought his hand up to
his mouth – the one he’d used inside me – and licked his finger clean.
Liquid fire ignited in my veins, pooling between my thighs. I pressed
my lips together, in an attempt to appear as if I’m holding my shit together.
But then his lazy gaze dropped to my lips, and he brushed his thumb against
them before giving me a soft kiss.
“I’m going to shower, okay?”
I was unusually tired, so I simply nodded. His strong arms wrapped
around me as he lifted me off the couch. My legs naturally wrapped around
him and he carried me to my bedroom, laying me gently on the mattress.
He gave me one more kiss before pulling away. I watched him pull his
sweatpants and boxers down before stepping into the bathroom. I smirked
and turned to lay on my back. He was too hot for his own good.
The room filled with steam along with the sound of the water running. I
suddenly felt more energized and in the mood to join Zach in the shower…
 I moved to get off the bed, when my eyes landed on my nightstand.
What I saw turned my blood to ice.
A golden bullet.
When I picked it up and twisted it between my fingers, I’d expected to
find my own old nickname. Instead, I saw the initial R. I squeezed the metal
in my palm.
She’d been in my fucking house. While I was asleep on the couch. With
Zach…
I hadn’t even considered her to be the one who’d pushed me into the
river.
Fuck. This was how idiots got killed, not me.
I needed to get my head out of the gutter. This was life and death. And
I’d just come too close to never opening my eyes again.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 21

Present
I WALKED OUT OF THE bathroom dripping wet, with a towel around
my waist and a thousand inappropriate thoughts of Maria in my head.
I had taken a shower to clear my head as much as my body, but I was
dying to get dirty with her again. Seeing her lips around my dick almost
made me come in record time, and I couldn’t wait to slide down her pretty
throat again. I knew she was new to this, but I was already planning out the
new positions I was going to put her in.
I unwrapped the towel from my body and used it to dry my hair. “Since
Natalia knows about us, I think we should just tell the others tonight.”
“Us?” Maria was still on the bed as I left her, only sitting up.
“You and I. Us.” I clarified without thinking much about her question. I
hadn’t asked her to officially be my girlfriend and I was hoping this would
be a nice transition into it.
“There is no us.” Her cold, mechanic voice froze me in place.
I’d just pulled up my sweatpants, and my back was still facing her. It
took a moment for her words to register.
There is no us.
“What?” The. Fuck.
I turned around to face her, only to be met with an icy gaze that made
my chest harden before cracking. She didn’t answer me, only watched me
with distant disinterest.
Everything had been fine just five minutes ago. Her arms were wrapped
around my neck and her legs around my waist. She had looked at me with a
warm softness that pumped through my veins, and my face had been
covered in her comforting kisses.
What wouldn’t I have given to take those five minutes back and never
leave her side.
Still, frustration and anger bubbled inside me, blurring my logic.
“Really?” My voice took a dangerous turn, but it was too late to hold
back. I advanced towards her. “Then what were we when you were choking
on my cock?”
Her nostrils flared, but apart from that there was no reaction. Her voice
held a slight anger in it. “Two single people hooking up.”
I waited for another slip of emotion, but it never came.
Am I forgiven? For everything?
It’s all in the past, hermosa.
Unfamiliar exhaustion took over me, feeling a lot like defeat –
something I was not familiar with. I shook my head as my mouth turned
into a disappointed smile. “You’re seriously gonna stand there and act like
you’re not mine?”
And there it was. An ounce of emotion behind those heartless, forest-
green eyes. A flicker of doubt. A spark of regret. A flash of pain.
It was enough to convince me this wasn’t the end. I would fight for us
again. Even if she didn’t understand what I was even fighting for, to begin
with.
Her voice was unemotional and robotic. “You are not my boyfriend. I
owe you nothing.”
Ignoring the sharp pain in my chest, I calmly walked out of her
bedroom and headed to the living room to get my shirt. Despite controlling
my movements that far, I couldn’t stop myself from slamming the door on
the way out.

The front door shut with a bang, yet the thumping in my chest blasted.
Bu-bum. Bu-bum. Bu-bum.
Blood roared in my ears and my chest contracted painfully. The
heaviness which had dissipated in the last few days returned, ten-times-fold.
 I forced myself to take deep breaths but it didn’t seem to help. I gasped
for air. A shiver rolled through me. My vision blurred.
Get it together already.
I powered through making my way into the bathroom, barely managing
to take my clothes off without falling. Out of habit, I was able to turn the
shower on, and the smallest comfort wrapped around me when the hot
water hit me. After a mere second, the feeling turned sour as my brain
compared it to Zach’s warmer, more comforting embrace.
Anxiety and stress wired all throughout me as memories of the past
infested my brain like venom.
I quickly grabbed my exfoliating loofa and covered it in soap before
beginning to rub my body. The longer I scrubbed, the more the bodywash
going down the drain looked like bright-red, fresh blood. I watched the
fabric burn my skin until it turned pink but I still didn’t feel clean; I never
did. I blinked when my vision blurred, and suddenly bruises covered my
body again. No matter how many hours I wasted in the shower, I could
never wash the pain off.
I couldn’t stop my legs from giving out as I leaned against the wall
defeated. Slowly, I slid down. When I hit the floor, I hugged my knees to
my chest. And then I did something I hadn’t done in over ten years.
I cried.
Until my lungs burned and my eyes were puffy.
Until the grief of a life I never had left my mind, and the pain washed
over my body, and all there was behind was calming numbness.
Until I finally let go.
Of everything.

It’d been sixteen hours, forty-seven minutes, and a shitload of seconds

since I’d stormed out of Maria’s apartment.
Sixteen fucking hours and forty-seven goddamned minutes of pure
torture.
 Trying to stay away from her was like trying not to breathe; it was
inevitable.
She was everywhere.
I could smell her perfume on my clothes. Could feel her soft skin on
mine and her pretty nails in my hair. I could still taste her on my tongue.
I rolled my shoulders to try push away the obsessive thoughts filling
my body.
Make her want you. Make her need you.
She thought I was insane for shooting that guy at Francesca’s party.
Wait till she learned what I did to the fucker who pushed her into the East
River.
She was driving me crazy, and the only thing bothering me was that I
couldn’t show her just how fucking crazy I was yet.
My palm itched to grab my car keys and drive to see her. To grab her
hair and kiss her until she was begging me to fuck her. If she didn’t want to
admit she was mine, I’d fucking make her.
But she was nowhere near as deep in this as I was.
Despite her armor and cold front, she was insanely delicate. But just
like a beautiful glass sculpture, I knew that if I broke her, I’d be the one to
end up bleeding.
I was going to take my time with her, knowing I’d enjoy every second.
There wouldn’t be anything more satisfying than watching Maria slowly
lose her self-control around me – well, maybe except for being inside her.
I wanted to see her – badly – yet I pushed the urge down. She needed
space. I couldn’t just storm into her life and demand she fall to her knees for
me.
I sat in my home office, rubbing the scrub on my jaw and watching the
seconds pass by on the clock. Waiting for time to pass by so I could see her.
She made me act like an addict who was anticipating a meet-up with his
drug dealer. I ran a Cartel and yet had never touched any of that shit, but
she was what I imagined the best goddamn hit in life felt like.
My phone binged with a text message from one of my soldiers,
updating me on Maria. Just because I wasn’t watching her myself, didn’t
mean I didn’t have somebody else making sure she was safe.
[ She’s still at Renato. ]
 I glanced at the time: almost four in the morning. What the hell was she
still doing there? She never worked that late.
Pushing my chair back, I stood, grabbed my keys and a bouquet of
flowers I bought earlier, and left my apartment.
Fuck letting her come to me. I was getting what was mine.
Ten minutes later, my car was parked on the curb in front of Renato, as
I leaned against it. The Manhattan streets were lit up and still buzzing with
people. New York was, after all, the city that never sleeps.
It wasn’t long before serene green eyes met mine. I straightened, and
she faltered for a moment before walking towards me.
I gave her a one-over. “You look pretty.”
She looked devastating.
Her long, brown hair was pinned back and out of her face, a few unruly
strands falling out. Her lips were red and plump, as if she’d been nervously
biting on them. Her tan skin glowed, but I didn’t miss the bags under her
eyes.
She didn’t respond, only smiled, barely meeting my eyes. Crimson
immediately coasted her cheeks and I thought I was hallucinating. She was
blushing so hard it was as if I’d just pulled my cock out and told her to blow
me.
“I got these for you,” I said raising my hand with the flowers.
She still wasn’t making eye contact – which was extremely unlike her.
Grabbing the bouquet, she licked her lips and bit her bottom lip, trying to
hide a smile. Fuck me, she was beautiful.
“Thank you, they’re really pretty.”
I took the bag off her shoulder and put it in the backseat, then opened
the car door for her. Without any complaint or hesitation, she got in.
I walked over to my side, started the car and drove slowly towards
Maria’s apartment. If I went a little under the speed limit and took some
streets with more traffic, I got around thirty minutes alone with her. I
stopped at a yellow light, wanting to take as long as possible.
“Zach…”
I turned to her. The red light was casting us in its color, painting the
shadows and highlights of our faces crimson. Her brows were knitted, her
eyes were almost sad. Shit. Did I do something?
“About what I said…” She took a deep breath, before continuing. “I
didn’t mean it.”
 I subtly released a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Relief flowed
through me when her words soaked in.
“I know.” I gave her a knowing look, not needing her to explain. I was
just glad she was in my car. I rested my hand on her thigh and brushed my
thumb over the material of her jeans. She visibly relaxed and angled her
legs more towards me.
Nothing could fucking measure to the way she looked at me now:
warm, intense and trusting. I never wanted to make her feel anything other
than happy ever again.
The rest of the ride was in silence but I didn’t even care. I just needed
to be in this girl’s presence.
When we got to her apartment building, we repeated our little routine;
she passed me her resident card to get into the underground parking – she
didn’t need to know I’d already had a copy made for myself. I opened the
car door for her and helped her out, keeping my hand on her lower back
while walking, and even inside the elevator.
Slight disappointment hit me in the chest when we arrived in front of
her door. Maria unlocked it, stepped inside her apartment and turned to face
me. Before she could stop me, I wrapped my hand around her neck, leaned
in and pressed a kiss to her cheek. My lips buzzed against her smooth skin.
“Sweet dreams, beautiful.”
Her pulse hammered against my fingers, matching the beat of my heart.
She slightly turned her head, and when I pulled back, her nose grazed my
cheek.
Fuck me, I wanted to devour her.
She looked up at me with the softest expression; non-harsh eyes, pouty
lips, tainted cheeks. It drove me crazy when she looked at me like that.
“Do you want to stay the night?” She sounded nervous, which confused
me since she never seemed to be nervous about anything. But I couldn’t
stop a slight smirk from upturning my lips; I was too satisfied by the fact
that she was letting me back in again.
But then she shrugged and her expression hardened. “Just know, I’m too
tired to have sex.”
My arrogance was replaced by a frown. I was equally irritated and
frustrated, but my determination for her was overpowering every other
feeling I was capable of.
 “That’s not all there is between us and you know it.” I spoke sternly to
make sure she understood me loud and clear this time. There wouldn’t be
any more misunderstandings.
Doubtful jade eyes met mine. Her voice came out so soft and low I
barely heard it. “It’s not?”
I hated that my intentions towards her hadn’t been obvious. However,
now that I was aware of my mistake, I wouldn’t stop until she knew how
badly I wanted her – mind, body and soul.
Maria was the only person I cared to listen to. I’d never even
considered other people’s opinions or feelings before her. She was the first
person I wanted to learn everything about. I wanted to know who and what
made her the way she was, so I could kill them. I wanted to know
everything she liked so I could give it to her. I wanted to know what she
thought about everything. I wanted to peel back every layer until I knew her
better than I knew my own self.
On top of that, she’d ruined nature for me. I couldn’t even look at a
plant anymore without thinking about how her eyes were the prettiest shade
of hazel I’d ever seen.
My hand went to the back of her neck and I lowered my lips to hers. I
kissed her softly. So gentle, the message was unmistakable. The blood in
my veins ignited; my skin was buzzing.
Pulling back, I rested my forehead against hers. My words, deep and
rough to my own ears, “Does this feel like nothing?”
She didn’t respond but I felt her silently give into me when her hands
came to rest on my chest. My other hand came up to cover hers and I
guided her palm over my racing heart. “Only you do this to me, hermosa.”
Her sharp nails dug into my chest, through the material of my suit,
before she raised her head to look me in the eyes. Light pink coasted her
cheeks, but then her brows narrowed with a frown, and something twisted
painfully in my chest when I saw the hesitation in her eyes.
I squeezed her hand against my chest as my eyes darkened with
longing. “Give us a shot, baby.”
She sawed her bottom lip between her teeth and her gaze hardened
slightly. “I’ve never… had a boyfriend before.”
Twisted possessiveness rumbled in my chest. It was wrong, but I didn’t
give a shit. I was filled with a different type of satisfaction at the fact that
I’d been the only one to figure out the maze in her mind. No one knew why
she was the way she was, but I eventually would. I would become the one
who she’d share the darkest, most spectacular parts of herself with. Me, and
me alone.
My hand went back to her waist and I dug my fingers into her skin,
pulling her closer. “Good. Then I’m your first and last.”
I closed the distance between our lips, kissing her more fiercely.
“Zach…”
Fuck.
Hearing my name pour from her lips like that, did things to me. I’d
desperately wanted to hear her say it, but now I wasn’t so sure it was the
best idea.
“We met like three months ago…” More like two years– “You’re going
too fast…” She was trying to pull away but I didn’t miss the subtle smile to
her tone.
“Yeah?” I nipped her bottom lip, then soothed it with a brush of my
tongue. “Says who?”
“Everybody.”
My hand left her waist, moving lower and grabbing her ass through her
jeans. “‘Everybody’ doesn’t get to take you to bed and fuck you to sleep.”
She smiled into the kiss and ran her nails down my chest to my
stomach. Her hand continued to move down my abs and over my belt,
before palming my dick through my pants.
I smirked against her lips. “Thought you were too tired.”
She licked my bottom lip before biting it. “I changed my mind.”
I didn’t need any more convincing. I went to push us inside the
apartment and kick the door shut behind us.
She stopped me. “Actually, can we go to your place instead?”
Something felt off. I frowned, trying to read her face. “Sure.”
“Great.” When she smiled, I forgot what I was thinking about. She
hurried inside her apartment. “I’ll just grab a few things and we can go!”

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 22

Present
THE NEXT TWO WEEKS FLEW by with secretive glances in public
and crazy sex in private.
We’d been avoiding everybody else – despite the fact they probably
knew what we were up to since the little phone call incident with Natalia.
Or the coincidence of both Zach and I simultaneously disappearing off the
face of the Earth.
We just wanted to stay in our perfect little bubble for a while longer
before having our friends bombard us with questions. And although I’d
never admit it, a dark part of me was enjoying having Zach all to myself.
Whenever I had shifts at Renato, he drove me there and made sure to
pick me back up in one of his fancy cars. Sometimes he even came in and
sat at a booth in the back or at the bar, watching me out of the corner of his
eye and making sure I was safe – pretending like he hadn’t just finger
fucked me in his blacked-out car until I was begging for him to stop, before
letting me go to work.
We spent most of the time at his place. We had dinner from expensive
restaurants on the fluffy carpet in his living room, made waffles at three in
the morning after making out all night, and shared our favorite movies in
his screening room. We looked each other in the eyes and talked for hours.
Although Ruiz remained in the back of my mind, there’d been no
progress in the situation. I was still taking care of it on the side, without
anyone knowing.
Zach finally got his way about taking me on a proper date. We went out
to dinner in Manhattan, an affluent rooftop restaurant with a reservation list
longer than the Constitution. People usually booked months in advance.
Zach, on the other hand, walked in with me holding onto his arm, shook
hands with the owner, and got us the best table – slightly secluded with a
view.
The summer wind softly brushed my skin under the night sky, the
golden lights of New York City glistening all around us.
Zach told me more about running the Cartel, making me realize it was
nothing like the movies; pretty boring and eventless in reality. I was
expecting something close to Pablo Escobar or the Cocaine Cowboys.
Instead, he moved weight right through the Pharmaceutical business – the
legal side of his endeavors which also served as cover for transporting
narcotics throughout the U.S. and the rest of the world. Politicians were in
on it, as well as feds and other renowned businessmen – they were, after all,
some of his biggest clients.
I told him about growing up in foster care and having to fight for
everything. His eyes swarmed with violence before asking who he had to
pay a visit to. I told him I always got away before anyone could ever hurt
me. He brushed the hair out of my face, saying, “My girl’s always been
smart.”
I wanted to tell him everything.
I almost did.
But the words about what happened in regards to my abduction, Cuba
or Ruiz, couldn’t make their way past my lips.
It all seemed so heavy and depressing. I knew I would have to tell Zach
eventually, but tonight just didn’t feel like the time.
Instead, I went around the truth and explained how after winning a
really bloody street fight – close enough – I got arrested and an important
person offered me accessibility to a program where I’d have the chance to
prove my skills. I practically forced the words ‘US Government’ and ‘off-
record CIA department’ past my lips.
Zach visibly tensed when I mentioned the feds but tried to play it off as
if it didn’t bother him that I was basically a retired government agent. There
were many important people on his side, but for each one, there were a
thousand more who wanted to take him down.
“I quit years ago,” I clarified.
He raised an eyebrow, unimpressed by my lack of concern. “They just
let agents quit like that?”
“No. I… went rogue and disappeared–”
 “How do you know they haven’t been tracking you?” He frowned in
concern, but there was something else in his eyes that made me take a
deeper inhale.
“They’re not.” They’re all dead. Except Ruiz, which I’m handling.
Zach’s frown deepened, about to add something, when the waiter came
over with our next course. By the time we were left alone again, we moved
on to making fun of the ant-sized food portions. Hours later, at one in the
morning, we were in line at a Mexican food truck in Brooklyn waiting for
fresh, authentic New York tacos.
Telling Zach about my past hadn’t been the smoothest conversation
we’d ever shared, but we got through it.
Later that night, we were in bed; my face in his chest with his arms
around me.
“Maria…”
I frowned, immediately turning to look at him. He never called me by
my name unless it was serious.
“I have to ask.” His eyes burned into mine. “Why did you pull away
from me?”
I took a deep breath. Here we go…
“I’m kind of in some trouble. It’s someone from my past.”
“Who do I need to hurt?”
“It’s not like that,” I gave him a sad smile before sobering. “That night
we slept on the couch at my place… They broke in. Neither of us realized.”
I straightened, running my hands down my face.
Apart from a distracted hum, there was no reaction from Zach.
“Do you not get how dangerous that is for people like us? Imagine they
watched us sleeping… Or pointed a gun at our heads… I just…” I
swallowed, my chest rising and falling frantically.
“Hey, hey.” He grabbed my shoulders. His face was unbothered, but I
could tell he was running through the what-ifs in his head, just like I had.
“That’s why you don’t want to go back to your place?”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to drag you into it. I’d never
forgive myself if anything–”
“Nothing happened.”
“But it could have…” My voice was a whisper.
Something allusive sparked through his eyes before he kissed my
forehead and held me tight in his strong arms. “I’ll handle it.”
 “Zach–”
“I said I’ll take care of it.”
I smiled against his chest. “You can’t…”
“Why not?”
Hugging him tighter, I pressed my face into the crook of his neck.
“Because you need me to do it.”

A light breeze brushed past my skin at several stories up in the sky. It

was a hot summer night, the day’s heat still lingering in the air.
The building around us was still in construction, meaning we were in
an open cement structure of pillars and floors. Since there were no
windows, clear plastic covers draped down the side of the building, softly
flowing with the direction of the wind.
Honks and sirens from the Times Square traffic bellow us climbed up
the skyscraper, along with its blinding lights. Locals, tourists, vendors, cars,
limousines – everyone bustled on the streets. I scanned through the crowd.
Zach readjusted his position behind me. His hard abs pressed into my
body while his muscular arms tightened around me. The heat radiating off
his body caused a small shiver to roll through me, leaving goosebumps
behind.
I pulled back from looking into the visor of the sniper rifle, giving him
his turn. When he moved to hold the gun, I brought my hands up and rested
them on his large biceps, slightly digging in my nails. God, I was crazy for
this man.
He pulled away, just for a moment, to kiss the top of my head before
going back to scanning the area. I stood there, feeling safe and protected,
shielded between his arms.
Zach was wearing a black T-shirt that matched the ink stretching across
tan muscle. His fingers tensed around the riffle, and the veins in his arms
became more obvious. I licked my lips.
“Is that him?”
He pulled back, allowing me to look through the visor to check.
Motherfucking Rooster. I thought I killed that dirty fucker years ago.
He was in one of the skyscrapers across from us, watching TV in what I
guessed was his apartment’s living room. Blue lights from the screen
flashed against his face, accentuating his features and confirming his
identity.
“No. But he’s involved.”
“You want to do the honors, baby?”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
“Don’t miss,” He teased, his lips brushing my ear as his arms wrapped
back around me.
I bit my cheek to stop my smile. “I never miss.”

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 23

Present
I STILL COULDN'T PROCESS THE fact that I never felt bored when
I was around him. Or the fact that I’d opened up more than I ever had. With
him, it felt easy… and natural.
We couldn’t seem to stay away from each other. When I wasn’t at
work, we were always together. He gave me free rein to wander his
penthouse and discover the different facilities it had to offer – such as a
private pool and jacuzzi where I rode him over his swimsuit trunks for
hours. Even if he was going over contracts at his desk, I was laying on his
office couch reading – waiting for him to get off a business call so I could
sit on his fancy desk and spread my legs for him.
Small bruises covered my hips and some light hickeys on my neck,
although my tits were filled with purple marks from his mouth. In
exchange, I left red slashes across his back, chest and shoulders with my
nails. I’d joked about how we’d marked each other, but Zach took it even
more seriously, making sure to kiss every inch of me while rasping ‘mine’
against my skin.
However, despite everything, we hadn’t had actual sex. I’d been too
scared, and Zach simply hadn’t brought it up. He didn’t try to pressure me
or even insinuate that it was time we did, which I was glad for since the last
thing I wanted to do was say ‘no’ to him. I just hadn’t been ready.
At least not until now.
I hadn’t actually told Zach that I was a virgin, but I guessed it was pretty
obvious. Something told me he already knew, which was why he hadn’t
brought it up and allowed me to decide when I wanted to take the next step.
 I wasn’t exactly fond of my virginity; I actually didn’t really care for it.
I simply hadn’t trusted a man enough to get intimate before.
There were quite a few times when my legs were wrapped around
Zach, and we were kissing, and his hard-on was pressing temptingly against
my core… I just wanted to say ‘fuck it’ and ask him to sink inside me, but I
pushed the need down. I needed to decide when I was in the right state of
mind, not a haze of mind-blowing orgasms – which was pretty hard since
we were always all over each other.
However, in the end, it was pretty simple and straightforward. I trusted
him, I was ready and I wanted him to be my first. Not everything had to be
that deep. Sometimes I just needed to listen to my therapist: let go and feel.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I’d showered, brushed my teeth, put on
deodorant and perfume. My hair was pin straight to my waist, and I wore a
lacy black bra and a matching G-string. I’d gotten a full wax the day before
as I did every month, and after lotioning my whole body, I was already wet
with anticipation.
I opened the cabinet behind the mirror and grabbed the whole box of
condoms. Judging by our relationship so far, we were going to use a lot
more than just one.
Holding the box behind my back, I opened the door of Zach’s en-suite
bathroom and leaned against the frame. I pressed my lips together to hide
my excitement.
Zach was lying in just his boxers on the bed like a king – which I guess
he kinda was, considering he was Kingpin. He had one arm behind his head
as he watched ESPN football highlights on the TV.
As soon as he glanced my way, he raised the remote in his hand and
shut it off without looking away from me. He ran his tongue over his teeth
as his eyes roamed over my body before fixing on my face.
I didn’t move, just kept standing there, leaning against the door frame
with a seductive smile and a box of condoms behind my back.
He frowned in that charming way of his, eyes full of curiosity. He
raised his chin in my direction. “What are you smiling about?”
I silently raised the box so he could see it. His gaze followed my hand
and I saw the exact moment his eyes darkened with want, need, desire and
lust.
I advanced towards the bed expecting him to jump me, but his eyes
remained on the box. His vision intensified on the package as his eyebrows
drew in a frown, but this time it was leaning towards actual concern.
My chest filled with anxiety. Why wasn’t he already ripping the
lingerie off me?
His ebony eyes met mine. “You sure you want this to be your first
time?”
So he knew. He wasn’t wrong, but the assurance with which he spoke
mixed with the confusion as to why he was thinking so much into this,
filled me with annoyance.
I practically felt my eyes spark with a challenge. “Who said this was
my first time?” My voice was so convincing, I even slightly shocked
myself.
Zach’s eyes set like the sun, taking over a completely new darkness.
Before I knew what was happening, I was thrown on my back on the bed
and he was on top of me. A hand closed around my throat while the other
came up to my face, his thumb brushing over my lips.
“When I’m done with you, the only word leaving these pretty lips will
be my name.”
Fuck yes.
He smashed his lips against mine and I moaned into the kiss. My nails
dug into his shoulders before scratching down his back and grabbing his
boxers. I pulled them down, freeing his erection and feeling its weight press
into my lower stomach.
He groaned at my neediness and lifted me in his arms. He flipped me
over before pulling me back towards him, so I was on my hands and knees.
Shit. I’d always imagined I was going to lose my virginity in
missionary. I wanted to say something but it felt like it was too late.
I could just not say anything. I mean how bad was it really going to
hurt? I’d endured torture before. This would be nothing compared to what
I’d already been through.
His hands grabbed my hips and he kissed down my spine, nipping at
the skin. His hands enveloped me as he cupped my breasts in his rough
palms. He fisted the material of my bra in the middle before speaking into
my ear, his rough voice making wetness pool between my legs.
“Did you put this on for me? Hm?” He bit my neck before sucking,
leaving another mark on my skin. “I fucking love it when you think about
me.”
 And then he ripped my bra apart, freeing my breasts and grabbing them
again. He massaged me until my head was falling back and my back was
arched, my ass grinding against his erection.
He pushed off me to properly take off his boxers and I turned my head
towards the box of contraceptives. “Zach, the–”
He grabbed my face and turned it over my shoulder so he could kiss me
deeper. “There’s no way I’m wearing a condom the first time I’m fucking
you.”
“Sometimes the pill doesn’t work,” I spoke breathlessly against his
mouth. “If you get me pregnant, I’ll slice your dick off with a machete.”
He nipped my bottom lip. “You’ll be swallowing my cum, not plan B.”
I guess he already had all of this planned out then. I was just here to
enjoy the ride.
I grinded against him again and his hands grabbed my waist. They slid
down to my ass, his thumbs brushing my opening and clit over my thong.
He pulled the underwear to the side and then the head of his cock was
sliding up and down my slit.
My body became frigid. I knew there wasn’t going to be more foreplay
since we had been fooling around for hours before I went into the bathroom
5 minutes ago. I was already wet and ready. Still, anxiety collected in my
chest, making me feel heavy, and not in a ‘butterflies in my stomach’ kind
of way.
“Don’t worry.” His hand brushed my back when he sensed my
nervousness. “I won’t be too rough.”
My opening and stomach began to ache painfully in anticipation and
when the head of his cock separated my folds, I panicked.
This wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. I was ready to lose my
virginity, but not like this. Not on all fours, filled with anxiety, with him not
knowing I’d never done this before, and without seeing his face.
His hands gripped my ass painfully and I knew he was about to push in.
“I’m a virgin!” The confession escaped me as I jumped away from him,
separating our bodies, and falling with my ass on the mattress.
As soon as my body left the warmth of his, the cold realization of what
I’d just done wrapped around me. I squeezed my eyes shut with
embarrassment. Zach was still behind me; silent and probably confused as
fuck.
 My attempt at the perfect way to lose my virginity had gone terribly
wrong. I’d lied for no reason and ended up putting myself in a needlessly
difficult situation. Without turning to look at him, I attempted to slide off
the bed and run towards the bathroom so I didn’t have to face him.
But – of course – Zach caught me. He flipped us so he was on top of
me again and I covered my face with my hands. He softly grabbed them and
pulled them down. Kissing my face, he asked, “Why did you lie?”
Understanding hit me when I saw his smug expression. He’d been
rough on purpose, to scare me into admitting it.
But his lips felt so good on my blushed cheeks, I closed my eyes and
wrapped my arms around his neck, savoring the feel of his warmth around
me again. “You sounded so sure, I didn’t think you’d actually believe me.”
“You should’ve told me. I could’ve hurt you.” Zach tried to lift himself
above me but I pulled him back down, not ready to let go yet. I’d caught the
slight undertone to his words and I knew he was pretending he wasn’t upset
at what had just happened. We’d both promised no more lies, and I’d just
broken it. All I wanted was to pull him close and apologize with more than
words.
“Sorry,” I whispered, hugging him close.
He pushed his hands between my body and the mattress, wrapping them
around me and holding me tight. I felt so safe and secure in his embrace, I
never wanted to let go. “Don’t be. It’s okay. You’re not ready.”
I pulled away and turned him to see how serious I was. “I want to. I
was just nervous.”
He frowned again, looking all handsome. “Yeah, I don’t know…”
I brushed my fingers over his light scruff. “Don’t you want to be inside
me?”
Zach’s eyes darkened dangerously and I knew I had him. He wanted
me; he just didn’t want to hurt me. “Maria–”
I pulled him down and brushed my lips against his. “Don’t you want to
be my first?”
His mouth parted against mine and he was about to kiss me. But then
he shook his head and pulled away, pushing off me and the bed. “I do. I just
don’t think tonight–”
Frustrated, I pushed myself up on my elbows. My bra was ripped in
two, hanging loosely from my shoulders and baring me open for him. “If
you won’t do it, I will.”
 His eyebrows raised in disbelief and he chuckled darkly, a cocky grin
upturning his lips. Suddenly, he didn’t feel so unsure. Instead, he got back
on the bed and leaned against the pillows, putting his hands behind his head
for support. He was still hard, his erection standing up straight.
I narrowed my eyes at him but he remained silent, watching me with a
smirk. He was calling my bluff.
I scoffed and pushed up to my knees, climbing on his lap. He didn’t
attempt to grab my hips or guide me or help in any way. He just kept
watching, knowing I couldn’t do it even if I tried.
But I wasn’t going to just give up. Regardless of Zach knowing my
profession, he still saw me as breakable; which I wasn’t. And I needed to
remind him that when I couldn’t find a way, I made one.
I hovered over his lap and just looked at it for a moment. It was big.
And it made me feel like it wasn’t going to fit, even if I knew my body
would stretch for him. I gulped my fear down and wrapped my hand around
his length, guiding it to my entrance. When it separated my folds, his abs
tensed.
Placing my hands on his chest, I took a deep breath, tried my best to
relax my muscles, and slowly lowered myself. As soon as I felt the pressure
against me, I hissed and tensed. My cheeks flushed, yet I was determined to
try again. But then Zach grabbed my hips and flipped us again.
“Hermosa… Let’s just sleep.” He caressed my face with his big hands.
“We’ll see how you feel in the morning.” He leaned down to kiss me but
after a quick peck, I pulled away.
“Zach…” My voice came out slightly whiny but I was too gone to care.
“I told you I want to. I mean, I’m twenty-one years old for God’s sake.”
Zach sighed and studied my face for a moment. “Are you sure?”
I held his face in my hands and pulled him down. “Please.” His nose
brushed mine and our foreheads touched. “Just keep it missionary and slow
this time, okay?”
He released an amused breath before closing the distance between us.
His lips met mine hungrily as one of his hands went under my knee,
pushing it up and folding it to my body. His other hand moved down my
stomach, underneath my thong and in between my legs. He spread the
wetness around before giving me a light slap which made me breathe in
through my teeth.
 He straightened to pull off my underwear, before towering over me.
“Spread your legs and relax.” Zach separated my knees and pushed them to
the mattress. He fell back on top of me, his hands next to my head, and his
chain hanging from his neck. “Hold onto me.”
I immediately did as told. My legs were open and my knees were bent,
the inside of my knees grazing my tits. I grabbed his shoulder from
underneath his arm, and wrapped my other arm around his back as much as
it would go. The head of his cock touched my entrance, but this time there
was no anxiety or fear. I pressed my lips together and dug my long nails a
little deeper into him.
A low groan rumbled in his chest when I met his eyes and he saw the
want in them. His were so intense it made my cheeks grow pink.
“It will hurt at first.” I knew he was only stalling, giving me a second
chance to change my mind.
Instead, my eyes warmed and a small smile curved on my lips. Zach
was a dangerous man, but I’d never felt safer. “I know.”

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 24

Present
HE LEANED DOWN, HIS LIPS meeting mine. I melted into him and
relaxed completely. The pressure of him against me still felt intimidating,
but this time there was a need to have him.
He pushed until the head of his cock was inside me and I gasped in his
mouth. I felt weirdly full already and stretched like never before. My
entrance burned, but not so much it was unbearable.
Zach continued to kiss me, forcing me to keep up with him as he didn’t
move his hips again. When the uncomfortable sensation was gone and I was
kissing him back with equal force, he pushed in deeper. I groaned against
his lips as I started burning again. My channel felt imposed, and it was as if
the more he slid in, the narrower I was.
My thighs began to tense and my body was unwillingly pushing him
out. Zach’s hand brushed my cheek as small pants escaped me. “Relax,
hermosa.” His mouth swallowed mine like before to get my mind off
everything, but this time I couldn’t melt into him.
He noticed, and began murmuring obscene words in my ear while
moving one of his hands between our bodies. “You’re so fucking tight,
baby,” He rasped, gently biting my neck. “But you’re going to stretch for
me. I promise.”
Small moans left my lips as his fingers softly rubbed me in circles,
turning any pain into pleasure and getting me even more drenched around
his cock. My body relaxed into his again and he pushed in slightly deeper.
I hissed before his words touched the corner of my mouth, helping me
stretch. “It’s so hard to not sink into you right now.”
 My eyes were closed, trying to keep composed. I knew it would only
hurt this one time, but that didn’t seem to help with the sensation that I was
ripped open.
I didn’t notice his head lowered until he covered my nipple with his
mouth. I groaned and threw my head back, moaning his name. “Zach…”
I moved my hands to his arms, digging my nails into his large biceps.
He held himself up on one forearm and used his other hand to hold the
breast he was kissing. His warm mouth sucked on the tight, firm skin,
before going in for more and licking all over.
I shuddered and my back arched slightly. He quickly switched to my
other diamond peek, leaving his hand where it was to keep me warm. A
surprised moan escaped me when his teeth grazed my sensitive skin.
“You’ve got the prettiest tits I’ve ever seen.” Zach softly bit me and I
groaned, pushing my head in the pillows. “They’re so perfect in my hands
and mouth…”
“Zach–” My gasp turned into a moan when he twisted my nipple
between his rough fingers.
“Your body was fucking made for me, hermosa.” His hand slid down
my body, over the dip of my waist and curve of my hips. He harshly
grabbed my thigh and pushed it further into the mattress, spreading me
wider for him.
He pushed in deeper with more ease, my body welcoming him this time.
I squeezed tightly like a vice around his length, which felt glorious inside
me. The fullness was delicious and there was something perfect about the
way he stretched me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his mouth met
mine.
“It’s a perfect fit.” He rasped against my lips, thrusting all the way in
and bottoming me out.
He hit me so deep, my eyes rolled back. “Oh, fuck…”
My back arched and I instinctively rolled my hips once, the insides of
my thighs pressing into his hard body.
He kissed me passionately, not moving his hips and remaining buried
deep inside me. “I love the way you feel.”
I dug my nails into his shoulders as he kissed my jaw and neck, until
nothing was uncomfortable anymore.
“Wrap around me,” He ordered, pushing himself back up to look at me.
“I want you to feel me move.”
 I did as told, wrapping my arms around his muscular back and my legs
around his body, my ankles locking behind his lower back and holding him
close. He lowered himself so our lips met, holding himself up on his
forearms. My tits pressed against his hard chest and my nipples ached from
the friction.
Slowly, he pulled out and I briefly registered something wet. But then,
he rolled his hips, sinking back inside me.
“Oh my God…” I groaned, my whole body shaking with unfamiliar
sensations.
He covered my lips with his, filling the room with our pants and
groans, along with the soft, wet sound of him moving in and out of me. I
moaned in his mouth as every inch of me ignited with blinding pleasure.
He began grinding slightly faster and my whole body buzzed with want
and need. I was so overfilled with how good everything felt, it was like I
wasn’t myself.
Everything I touched was him. His dark eyes were all I could see. The
cologne on his neck was everywhere in my chest and mind. His taste was
on my tongue and all I could hear were his masculine groans in my ear.
All I could think about in this moment was him.
“Zach…” I whimpered against his lips.
“What do I feel like?” His husky voice made me open my eyes again
and look at him.
“Like–” He thrust a little harder, interrupting me. I bit my lip at his
teasing and tried again. “Like my body was made for you.”
He smirked at my twist on his earlier words and kissed me again.
“And?” He groaned against my lips.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and tightened my legs around his
hips, grinding into him to match his movements. His lips hovered above
mine.
“Smooth and hard…” I breathed out. “You’re so big, but I wanna take
more of you…” He continued rolling his hips; his pelvis gliding against my
clit every single time. “You’re stretching me just right, and the way you’re
fucking me… It feels so good…”
A deep, masculine groan rumbled in his chest, and his hand gripped my
thigh roughly. His movements grew faster and harder, and I met them, both
of us craving more and more. My breasts bounced against his muscular
chest as I moved up and down the mattress with each of his thrusts.
 His face lowered to my neck; kissing, licking, biting. My hand moved
into his hair as the other grabbed his bicep again. Goosebumps flowed all
over my body as a shiver rocked through me. It filled me with a primal need
that made me throw my head back.
“Harder,” I moaned in his ear.
Zach untangled my hands from his body and pined them far above my
head. The muscles in his shoulders and biceps flexed as his arms
straightened over me. My lips parted at the sight. His body and presence
were so huge, he felt larger than life in that moment. So dominant and
assertive, arousal pooled between my legs and around his cock, dripping
down to the sheets.
“Fuck, hermosa, you’re so fucking wet.”
Without taking his eyes off me, he pulled out slowly, until only the head
of his cock was still inside me. In one smooth move, he intertwined our
fingers, pushing my hands into the mattress, and slammed into me.
My back arched as a loud moan escaped me. His hips rolled into me
with another merciless thrust and my eyes rolled to the back of my head.
He fucked me like I asked. Hard. Fast. And rough.
And I was loving every second of it.
Zach did strange things to my heart when he was gentle and sweet to
me only, but there was something about seeing him like this. Something that
was dark and twisted, and only existed in the furthest corners of my
fantasies.
“Zach… Yeah, right there…” My moans had turned into whimpers, and
my lips remained parted as more unholy sounds escaped me.
“You like that? Hmm?” His eyes were still locked on mine and neither
dared to look away. I bit my lip and nodded, unable to speak.
But then my thighs tensed around his body as my orgasm got closer and
closer, and my eyes fluttered lazily. My gaze lowered to his lips, chest, abs,
and then finally to where he disappeared inside me.
My whole body buzzed with arousal at the sight of his lower abs
clapping against me. I bit my lip, about to come, when Zach grabbed my
face in his hand and forced my eyes back to his.
“Eyes on me when I fuck you.”
He crashed his mouth against mine as my orgasm ripped through me.
Unimaginable pleasure rolled through me in waves over and over again,
and I cried out into his mouth.
 He never slowed down. He continued to kiss me just as deep and kept
fucking me just as hard, riding out my orgasm for what felt like forever. I
whimpered against his lips when I couldn’t take it anymore, but he ignored
me. His hand went in my hair, tugging my head back so he could kiss me
more.
Finally, after my thighs began to shake and my body twitched
underneath the weight of his, he pulled out without breaking the kiss,
spilling his cum all over my stomach and tits.
I slumped down to the mattress and dropped my legs from his body in
exhaustion. Zach freed my hands from above my head but didn’t allow the
kiss to break. His big arms pushed between my body and the mattress to
wrap around me, and I brought my hands to his hard chest, attempting to
push him away so I could breathe.
He groaned in disapproval and kissed me even deeper; his lips pushing
mine apart, his tongue sliding against mine. I brushed my fingers through
his hair, my acrylics scratching the nape of his neck. Twisting my face to
the side, I slipped away from the kiss.
My chest rose and fell, and he breathed deeply into my neck as we both
tried to calm down from our highs.
After several moments, he pushed off me and straightened between my
legs, admiring how he’d painted my body with his cum. My own gaze
dropped to my breasts and stomach, and I couldn’t stop from bringing my
hand up to touch it, slightly spreading it with one manicured finger.
A deep groan of satisfaction rumbled in his chest and I felt my pulse
between my legs. When my eyes lowered even more, they landed on his v-
line – and the light smear of blood on his cock. I bit my lip, suddenly
feeling vulnerable and exposed, despite the post-pleasure of the orgasm still
sizzling under my skin.
Zach’s rough hand stroked my thigh. “Wait here.”
When he disappeared into the bathroom, I laid back down on the silky
pillows, closing my eyes for just a second. I needed to regroup for a
moment.
I didn’t notice Zach was back until something wet and hot pressed
against my sore opening.
I jumped, startled by the sensation, but relaxed when I saw his hand
pressing a warm cloth between my legs.
 Zach straddled me, softly kissing me and caressing my body with his
free hand. His deep voice broke through the haze in my mind. “How do you
feel?”
I opened my eyes, giving him a sincere and open view into my mind.
My face was painted with sexual satisfaction and pure exhaustion.
“You’re good at this,” I confessed.
I suddenly realized it was because of practice and a weird feeling
brushed my chest. Of course, I knew he’d been with plenty of girls before,
but I’d never actually thought about it until now. What if I hadn’t been as
good as others? It had been my first time, but these things had to come
naturally to a person. Zach had made me feel like I was on cloud nine, and I
hoped he felt it too.
I’d forgotten to close my thoughts back up, accidentally allowing Zach
to see a little too much into my head.
He brought his hand up to my face, holding me sternly. “That first night
we kissed… was the best I’d ever had. And I hadn’t even been inside you
then.” He leaned in, kissing me passionately. “We’re good together,
hermosa.”
A soft sigh of satisfaction left me as his lips touched mine. My whole
body buzzed at the contact and a new wave of desire washed over me. I
wanted more.
He pulled away from the kiss to look me in the eyes. “Seriously, how
sore are you?” His brows dipped into a handsome frown and my heartbeat
moved between my legs.
I used all of my power to push him away so he fell on his back at the
end of the bed. The muscles in his arms flexed when he caught himself on
his forearms. His eyes followed me as I threw away the cloth and moved to
my knees between his legs. The confused expression on his face went away
when I took him into my mouth.
Zach groaned deeply and his hands fisted my hair, encouraging me to
take him deeper. I wrapped my hand tight around the base, where my blood
had been only minutes ago but had now been washed off. His abs tensed
when I lightly grazed my teeth along his length, and I couldn’t resist
running my hands over his chiseled abs.
I went faster and didn’t stop until he was rock-hard again. Pulling
away, I released him with a pop, and wiped my mouth. “I didn’t wait this
long for you to only fuck me once.”
 His erection twitched in response and I flashed a devilish grin. He
returned it. “You sure you can go again? I won’t hold back this time.”
My smile turned into a frown. “You’ve been holding out on me?”
His face told me he thought it was obvious. “It was your first time.”
“Yeah? What about the past few weeks?”
He didn’t reply.
“I can take you,” I continued, crossing my arms.
“Trust me, hermosa, I know…” Zach straightened, reaching over to
grab me, but I placed my foot on his chest to stop him. He scoffed in
amusement at my attempt and grabbed my ankle. With his eyes still on me,
he lowered his head and kissed my instep before lightly biting it. I gasped in
surprise but he pulled me down the mattress by the ankles and straddled me
again. His dark, sinful voice touched my ear, “The images are forever
engraved in my mind.”
He leaned down to kiss me but I placed my hands on his face and
pushed him back up. My voice was laced with sarcasm, “Careful, Zach.
Don’t break me.”
I had no issue when he was protective in any other area of the
relationship. I knew he had the money, power and influence to keep me safe
and comfortable in the version of the world he and I lived in. I appreciated
not having to fight every day of my life anymore; because I was with
Diablo.
But holding back in the bedroom? I didn’t need protection from his dick.
A deep chuckle left him as he moved my hands away. His hand went in
my hair and he leaned down again, brushing his lips against mine. “Baby…
I wasn’t even all the way in. I’m still getting you ready.” He swallowed my
whimper before pulling back, a cruel smirk on his lips. “Don’t worry. You
will take all of me.”
My hands went to his jaw and I pulled him down, moaning in his
mouth in agreement. Zach groaned, his hand coming down hard on my
thigh before rubbing the sting away. He roughly grabbed my thighs,
directing me to wrap around his body. He picked me up and began walking
to the bathroom.
“But first, let’s get you cleaned up.”
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 25

Present
RUIZ'S ALLEGED FUNERAL CAME LATER than anticipated. For
the first time during summer, the sun hid behind grey clouds, and rain fell
from the turbulent sky. Fitting.
I decided to attend alone and in secrecy. I couldn’t risk anyone
accompanying me or knowing my location since my intuition was telling
me Ruiz would make an appearance, and not in a closed casket.
Throughout the afternoon, I kept my distance from the others. I
remained on a far-away hill, as everyone paid their respects during the
ceremony.
Time passed and it was almost dark out when I made my way out of the
cemetery. Maybe my gut had been wrong for the first time because Ruiz
never showed up.
The funeral had taken place in a cemetery park in the Bronx. I pulled
on the hood of my jacket as I made my way towards a main street. Zach
was working the night so we weren’t going to see each other until the
morning, so I wasn’t in a rush to get home.
When I turned the corner on a dodgy street, I almost expected to see
Ruiz waiting for me, but… Still nothing. My footsteps thudded softly in the
silent night.
An obnoxious ring broke through the air, echoing off the red-brick
walls, causing me to stop short. I slowly turned around to see an empty
phone booth.
A sardonic breath escaped me. I fucking knew it.
I picked up the near-broken payphone.
 “Ángel.” The voice made my blood boil. “So nice to hear from you
again.”
“There is nothing on this Earth that can save you.” I spoke calmly, yet
my words only came out more chilling than if I’d screamed them. “I will
find you. And I will cut your fucking head off like the parasite you are.”
“Yes, of course. But before you go ahead and do that, you might want
to look at the folder on your kitchen island first.” She hung up. Fucking bi–
I hit the payphone on the pay-box repeatedly, before throwing it and
letting it hang from the cord.
I ran down the street before whistling down a taxi. Half an hour later I
was rushing out of my building elevator and into my apartment. With my
gun out, I scanned the premises. Nothing.
My eyes landed on the thin folder sitting on the kitchen island.
I opened it carefully, looking inside, and my heart dropped.
Several information on Diablo, from locations to bank statements,
including a blurry picture of him with me.
My cellphone rang with an unknown number. I picked up.
“Did you think I wouldn’t notice your new little kingpin boyfriend?
You two go way back, huh?”
“What do you want?” I cut straight to the chase. I didn’t have time for
her stupid mind games.
“It’s quite simple actually. You do something for me, and I won’t kill
you.”
I scoffed. “You’re deranged.”
Ruiz’s snarky words came through the phone. “Please. It’s not like you
actually love him. That would require a heart. And we both know you don’t
have that.”
I should’ve been scared about Ruiz being in my home. Instead, I was
ten times more terrified of the ache in my chest. Her comment left behind
more blood than I would ever admit.
“He’s quite a catch… Capo of the Mexican Cartel with control of all
North and South America. Not even talking about imports and exports
worldwide…”
“Get to the fucking point.”
“You have twenty-four hours to kill the world’s biggest narcotics
trafficker and clear all of your charges. If you fail, a new file will be sent
out. On both of you.”
 I gasped, waking up and sitting up on the couch. I’d fallen asleep after
scheming a plan to find and take out Ruiz before she could attack first.
Still, in my sleep haze, blood iced in my veins as a large form brushed
past me. But then I looked up to see familiar dark hair and tattoos, and my
heart dropped.
Surprised and confused, I sat up properly, trying to make my ruffled
hair look presentable. “Zach… Hi. What are you doing here?”
I watched him set takeout boxes on the coffee table before turning to
me with a smile. “I grabbed dinner on the way here.”
I glanced towards the entry hallway. It was still dark out. I must’ve
only been asleep for a few hours. “How did you get in?”
“Front door was unlocked. You should be more careful. Lot of bad
people out there.” His smile didn’t falter, though it didn’t reach his eyes like
I thought I remembered.
He took a seat next to me on the couch, and out of habit, I leaned in.
When my lips were inches away from his, I closed my eyes, only to feel the
ghost of a kiss on my forehead. I blinked, surprised he didn’t pull me in for
more like he always did.
Instead, he opened the food and began eating. I forced myself to shrug
it off; maybe he’d had a bad day, like me.
I poked around my plate, having no appetite. I didn’t know how I was
going to tell Zach about Ruiz. He’d been right about the possibility of
someone from my past following me. What was he going to say about me
putting his life at risk because two years ago I got distracted and didn’t
handle my business?
“Something wrong?”
I cleared my throat. “Of course not.”
I knew I had to tell him. I was going to. After we ate and he was in a
better mood.
His hand rested on my thigh, stopping my leg from bouncing with
nerves. His voice was softer than before, wrapping around me with warmth.
“Anything you want to tell me?”
Say it.
 “No.” I took a bite from the food, though it was flavorless on my
tongue. Maybe I could handle Ruiz by myself and not have to tell Zach
about–
“Nothing?”
There is your chance. Say something.
I shook my head. Out of the corner of my eyes, I glanced at Ruiz’s
folder poking from under the sofa. I must’ve dropped it when I fell asleep.
“Are you sure?” He pushed, his words sharper this time. “You seem
tense.”
I turned my head to face him, my words sharper. “Everything’s fine.”
Guilt flowed through me, so I forced myself to focus on the food I was
chewing. But then, it went down the wrong way and I couldn’t stop
coughing.
“Here.” Zach reached for a glass of water at the far end of the table,
and handed it to me.
I drank the whole thing, hoping it would also calm down my anxiety.
Not even a moment passed before my head swarmed. My vision slowly
blurred as I carefully placed down the empty glass. I rose from the sofa to
get some painkillers for the headache I thought I was getting, but my legs
gave out.
“What the hell…” I slowly sat down on the carpet. “I don’t feel
good…” I looked over my shoulder to see him staring intensely at his plate.
“Zach?”
He closed his eyes when I said his name; jaw locked in place.
My arms gave out next and I fully fell to the floor, my whole body
going numb. Though, the ache in my chest persisted, getting deeper by the
second and I didn’t even know why.
The last thing I saw was fragments of his footsteps approaching me in
slow motion. Then, just darkness.

I groaned, raising my head slowly and squinting my eyes due to the

pain in my temples. Did I fall asleep sitting?
I didn’t comprehend how dark it was until Zach stepped out from the
shadows.
 Relief washed over me. I was confused, tired and hungry.
But he was here.
I tried to stand up and get to him, only to realize I couldn’t move. I
glanced down, seeing ropes tying me to a wooden chair. I twisted my
wrists, the cotton burning my skin.
“You’re such a pretty little thing tied up like that, baby.”
I looked up again, only for my head to pound with pressure. “I– Ah…
What happened?”
He stepped forward, the sheer moonlight coming from a window to my
side casting him in a blueish accent. Stopping in front of me, he motioned
around the room with his hands. “I soundproofed the walls and everything.
Isn’t that romantic?”
My head slowly tilted as I tried to make sense of his words. The frown
on my face only seemed to worsen the headache throbbing in my temples.
He stepped closer, leaning down to my level and meeting my eyes; his,
a night storm at sea. My chest raised as I followed his hand movement
when he touched my neck. His fingers brushed past my collarbone like a
rough feather, lighting my skin on fire in its wake.
When he reached the hem of my shirt, he pulled the material to the
side, exposing the faint purple of a mark on my breast. My pulse
accelerated, the memory of how I’d gotten it, resurfacing… His teeth
pulling, lips kissing and sucking, until my skin bruised, leaving behind a
hickey in the shape of an unmistakable ‘Z’.
“When you agreed to be mine, you gave me the right to do whatever I
wanted to you.” His deep voice wrapped around me, though unlike before,
the warmth was missing, replaced by suffocation.
Despite my fast heartbeat and the blush intensifying on my face, I
couldn’t shake off the bad energy between us. “Okay… I’m not into
whatever kink this is. Untie me already–”
I didn’t get to finish my sentence.
He grabbed my face, squeezing my cheeks and studying me with harsh
eyes – scanning my features; searching for something I didn’t know. My
brows furrowed and my stomach turned, a sick feeling spreading through
me when his gaze didn’t melt into mine.
“Zach–”
“Don’t…” He turned his head away from me; like he was in some sort
of pain. “Don’t say my fucking name.”
 I locked my jaw and spoke again, firmer than before. “Zach, this isn’t
funny anymore.”
“I shouldn’t have to repeat myself,” He muttered as he stood back to
his full height.
Speechless, I watched him walk away before finding my voice. “I don’t
understand what’s happening.”
He didn’t bother to look at me. “It’s just business.”
I short-circuited. The words too ruinous to sink in immediately.
Nothing, but the sound of his footsteps as he walked away.
“Zach.”
“Alright,” He finally spoke when he reached the wall, though he didn’t
turn around. “You just sit there quietly and keep looking pretty. I’ll be back
in a few days.” He opened a door I hadn’t even been able to make out in the
dark, allowing light to flow in from the hallway. I remained cast in his
shadow.
“Zach! What the fuck?”
He finally turned around and we looked at each other for a long
moment, though I didn’t recognize the man in front of me. His eyes were
completely emotionless, lacking any of the warmth I was used to. Black,
empty pools of ink; pure oblivion.
Too late to stop myself, my eyes stung, my vision blurring at the edges.
“Zach…?” My voice came out a whisper, barely audible over the
thundering of my pulse.
A sardonic smile. “Que sueñes con los angelitos, querida.”
Realization washed over my face.
Their name, another tick on my list. My message, a parting dagger,
“Que sueñes con los angelitos.”
My lips parted, though nothing came out.
He left, and the door closed, leaving me to be swallowed by the
darkness.
Nothing could save me from myself.

OceanofPDF.com
 PA R T 2

3 MONTHS AGO
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 26

Present
24 years old
Manhattan, New York City
CLOUDS OF SMOKE FLOATED AROUND me before slowly
twirling higher and disappearing. Rap music pumped through the speakers,
the bass vibrating in the marrow of my bones. Purple and red lights flashed
in the dark, providing some clarity through the darkness of the nightclub.
Before I could stop myself, my hand went into my trousers pocket,
immediately finding the small, metal object. Anger consumed me the more I
twisted it between my fingers.
Throwing my other arm around the back of the booth couch, I leaned
my head back and took a deep breath. The empty ammo burned in my palm.
Another night of memories muddling my mind.
Whispered promises.
Cold metal against my temple.
Those fucking eyes looking into my goddamn soul.
Pop.
Frustration washed over me, the reminiscent of unfinished business
seeping underneath my skin. Two years later and still nothing; vanished into
thin air. My trigger finger itched for revenge, but tracking down someone
who technically didn’t exist seemed almost impossible.
Almost. It was only a matter of time until I settled the debt. My chest
lightened at the promise and I squeezed the gold bullet in my palm.
Vengeance.
 I turned my attention back to the business discussion happening in front
of me.
Tony sat across from me; bags under his eyes and looking bored as
fuck. Despite being at the newest hotspot in New York, he seemed
underwhelmed. He was only here to support his family’s most recent
establishment – more specifically, Francesca’s important nightclub opening.
Meaning, no illegal gambling or snorting cocaine off girls’ tits.
While he spent his time partying in Vegas and Miami, his sister handled
the more legal side of DeMone’s business. Although she would never
become Don of one of the five New York mafia families – the role being
reserved for their older brother, Gìovanni – she was determined to make a
name for herself in the criminal underworld; something I could respect. I
had a feeling she had her eyes on the Underboss position once Gìo took
over.
At least with Antonio or Francesca, you knew what you were getting.
Gìo, who was sat to my left, on the other hand… You had no fucking
clue what mood you’d catch him in. One second, he cracked a joke, the
next, put a bullet between someone’s eyes.
Even so, everything he did was thought out. I’d known the man for
almost a decade and yet had to see him do anything illogical or impulsive.
His focus on likeability was no different.
He was a cold ass motherfucker, but also Cosa Nostra’s favorite Made-
guy all around. He scared the shit out of everybody yet still managed to be
considered every mafia parent’s dream son-in-law – probably because he
was suspected to become the next and youngest Capo di tutti i capi. Boss of
all bosses.
To my right, Trevor was leaning over to hear better over the loud
music, his elbows resting on his knees.
From a very well-off family of Japanese and Cuban descent. Columbia
graduate. Ex-college-basketball star-athlete. IT genius and future CEO of
the Su Dynasty. Judging from the outside, he was just another Fortune 500
billionaire heir.
In reality, his family’s multi-billion company had been built on the
shoulders of an underground hacking empire and the tight connections to
the biggest criminal organizations around the world due to being their main
weapons dealer – hence, how we met all those years ago.
 Trevor kept looking over his shoulder, stealing glances at another table,
so frequently it pissed me off.
“Fuck you keep looking at?” I turned my head to the side and focused
in on the booth across the room, only to see Trevor’s sister, Kali, and her
friends.
I scoffed. Big fucking deal.
I turned back to Trevor only to realize he was in some sort of fucking
trance. I understood when I checked again. A specific friend of Kali’s was at
the table.
I chuckled and turned back to the table. The weight of the air changed,
but I seemed to be the only one who’d noticed.
Whispered promises.
Cold metal against my temple.
Those fucking eyes looking into my goddamn soul.
Pop.
I slightly shook my head, brought a clear tumbler to my lips, and tipped
my head back. The smooth burn settled in my chest, making the heaviness
inside disappear.
My gaze lifted distractedly as someone walked past our booth, drawing
a curt nod from Trevor. My eyes followed as the woman headed towards the
girls’ table.
I didn’t remember seeing her before – but then again, when had I ever
remembered a girl I wasn’t fucking before? Yet the fact that she knew
Trevor meant she was in my immediate circle.
As she walked away, my gaze unwillingly traveled from her sleek,
black heels with red bottoms, up her legs. I swallowed when it reached her
thighs, the tight trousers accentuating every seductive curve. Long, brown
hair obstructed my view of her waist, but as if she could hear my thoughts,
her hand came up to brush it over her shoulder. I internally groaned as she
sat down, her body replicating an hourglass. Damn.
I must’ve not been as low-key as I thought, because Natalia – friend of
Francesca and Kali, and long-lost daughter of mafioso Salvatore Moretti –
told the girl I was looking at her. She turned her head but not enough for me
to see her face, so Natalia subtly pointed in my direction. My blood warmed
with anticipation as the mystery girl searched for me in the busy nightclub.
After a moment, her eyes met mine.
The breath was knocked out of my chest.
 Death.

The Mexican Cartel was the most dangerous Cartel in the world.
Violent and ruthless. I was raised in it; trained to live and die by its
commandments.
No outsiders. No mercy. No loose ends.
I never had an issue following those rules. At least not until she came
along.
I’d spent over two years thinking about the specific moment I’d find
her, but when it actually happened, I didn’t know what to fucking do.
Though, it turned out it didn’t really matter because she simply turned
back to her friends and continued having fun for the rest of the night. She
never attempted to run or gave any hint that she knew who I was.
She dismissed me like I was worth less than the dust under her shoes,
when in reality I was worth more money than numbers could display.
A fresh, newer wave of anger washed over me; a type I’d never felt
before. It frustrated me more than made me mad, and filled me with a
confusion I’d never had about the situation. I’d always believed that when
our eyes would meet again, we’d have a ‘shoot on sight’ type of interaction.
If it hadn’t been for her eyes haunting me the past two years, I
would’ve thought I went crazy and was seeking her in random people.
Eyes of such an emerald green; they pierced through my soul, and
entangled so deep in my chest, I still saw them every time I closed my eyes.
Those goddamned eyes.
The first thing I thought about when I woke up. The last thing I saw
before sleep took over me at night. And the only thing that randomly
entered my mind in every situation in between.
Oh, but she didn’t remember ME. Yeah, right.
I would’ve laughed if, for some unknown reason, it didn’t fucking piss
me off.
I watched her throughout the night… dancing, sipping her drink,
laughing with my friends… I hid my anger when I asked Trevor for her
name.
Maria.
 If that was even her real name.
He’d answered distractedly, as if she was just anybody. I burned to ask
for more information, but I pushed the need down, knowing Trevor had no
idea who she actually was.
I knew I was going to go after Maria when she left for the night. What I
was going to do once I got her? Not a fucking clue.
So, when Francesca asked me to return a favor and make sure her little
friend got home safely, how could I refuse?
I scoffed at the irony.
Safely.
She was danger encapsulated in an objectively beautiful woman. But I
was too caught up on her eyes and the scar that cut from her brow to her
cheek to bother noticing. Her beauty was just part of the deceiving act she
put on.
I was proven right, when after following her outside, she almost killed
some random guy. He’d been arguing with a girl further down the back
alley of the club, and when he got violent, I had no choice but to intervene.
I’d barely even pushed the guy off the girl before Maria was all over him;
pummeling him into the cold concrete and showing her true colors.
Cool relief had washed over me when I watched my memories come
back to life.
At least I wasn’t insane – Yet. If this cat-and-mouse game wasn’t going
to drive me over the edge, she sure was.
No one seemed to have any idea who she really was, and I couldn’t
help but wonder who her current target was.
Maybe it was me. That’d explain what she was doing here. Maybe this
was just a long game to finally get me; befriend those in my close circle, act
like she doesn’t remember me, then boom! I’m dead.
When she finally gave up on that pathetic excuse of a man, she
straightened and faced me, unaware of the splatter of crimson on her face.
I advanced towards her but stopped short.
All over again, her eyes bewitched me. It felt like I’d never be able to
look this woman in the face without falling into a fucking trance. The green
pierced me in the chest, the specks of gold around her pupils muting
everything else around us.
I had no idea what was happening to my brain. All I knew, was that we
weren’t in the alley anymore. It wasn’t night or day; it just was. And we
were alone. No sirens, no traffic or tire noise. Nobody else. Just us.
My body moved by itself, and before I knew it, we were standing
inches away from each other. Close enough to touch. Close enough to stab
me in the ribs.
And just like that, the soundtrack of the city returned, and we were
back in the alley behind Francesca’s nightclub. An unfamiliar sense of
disappointment took over me before I forced it down.
It was good; necessary. It reminded me of who she really was. It pulled
my head out of the gutter. It was a cold water bucket that knocked the
common sense back into me.
I narrowed my eyes at the edges, determined to not allow her to distract
me again.
But then she licked her lips and my gaze unwillingly followed.
Just like that, she pulled me back in.
I stepped closer; couldn’t have stopped even if I tried. Her head tilted
up, refusing to break eye contact. Her expression was blank and I would’ve
thought I really had no effect on her if it hadn’t been for the defiance in her
eyes.
We were too close for two people who wanted to kill each other.
And yet… she wasn’t pulling away.
Maybe she wasn’t stepping back because that would mean I’d won this
little face-off game we’d just started playing. What other games would she
play with me?
She must have been a devil instead of an angel, because my body
burned at the proximity. The sky must’ve cleared just for her, because the
tiniest fragment shone right on the side of her face, the scarlet glistening in
the moonlight.
I’d been right.
She had driven me over the edge.
Because as fucked up as it sounded, the blood only brought out her
eyes.
The realization that it was another man’s anything on her, immediately
pissed me off. With the back of my hand, I wiped it off. Much better.
Her eyes sparked. Was she thinking about shooting me in the head?
At first glance, she seemed unbothered. She appeared like a siren with
her cold front, but I knew there was a sea of red, boiling rage beneath.
Her eyes held mine.
 Was she pretending she didn’t know me? No. She was direct. She
would’ve told me how nice it was to see me again, then tried to strangle me
with the chain of her handbag in front of the whole club. There was no
explanation as to why she of all people would forget me…
But then her eyes sparked and I somehow immediately understood, the
realization hitting me with the force of a moving train.
The woman thought I was fucking dead.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 27

Present
TWO YEARS AGO, SHE'D TRIED to take my life. What I should’ve
done last night, was take hers first. But what did I do instead? Got her a cab
and paid for it.
I should’ve gotten a fucking Oscar.
I’d never been good at lying – not because I couldn’t have if I really
wanted to, but because I never needed to. If I had to slit someone’s throat, I
did it. No hesitation or dragging it along. This might’ve been the first time I
didn’t kill someone within a thirty-minute window.
“So what do you know about her?”
Trevor leaned back against his couch, probably confused as to why I
wanted to know so much about Maria. “Maria Pérez. Twenty. Puerto Rican
immigrant. From the Bronx. Foster care. Didn’t go to college. Good friends
with Kali, Natalia and Francesca. Works at Renato.”
Anger blossomed in my chest like wildfire. Kali was Trevor’s goddamn
sister. Francesca was Gìo and Tony’s. We were all members at Renato, yet I
never went. Never really been my scene. She was right under my nose this
whole time…
Was this some sick fucking game to her?
“Look into her.” I sat on the couch opposite to him, elbows resting on
my knees. Dark locks fell over my forehead, from running my hand through
my hair, slightly obstructing my view.
He gave me a weird look but opened his laptop nonetheless. We were
good friends. He’d always help me; even when I was being a dick.
 After about twenty minutes of typing, he looked up, a deep frown on
his face.
“What?”
Trevor looked at the laptop again and ran a hand over his mouth.
“Spit it the fuck out already,” I snarled.
Trevor looked back at me, an undecipherable look on his face. “There’s
nothing.”
“Fuck you mean there’s nothing? There’s always something.”
“She doesn’t exist.” He spoke as if he was somewhat impressed, and
smirked like a dumbass.
“Care to share what’s so fucking funny?” I was sure there was fume
coming out of my ears.
“She’s the one that tried to kill you, right?”
I hadn’t said it out loud yet, but Trevor always seemed to fucking know
everything. I should have never fucking told him about what happened in
Mexico. My face signaled I was thinking about crushing his skull if he kept
laughing.
“This could be bad.” He got more serious, but the smile was still on his
face. “She’s been around for some time–”
“I thought that too, but it’s not it. She doesn’t remember me.” The last
words tasted like acid on my tongue. I remembered everything I could
about her from that night – her scent, height, voice, eyes. I’d spent two
fucking years obsessing over her and she couldn’t have given less of a shit
about me. I was just another target to her – nothing special.
Trevor looked at my face for a moment before his head fell back with
laughter.
I stared at him blankly.
“She thinks you’re dead?”
My jaw flexed. “Yes.”
Deep laughter filled the room again. This fucking guy.
“Dig deeper. There's gotta be something.”
He gave me another weird look. I was the type to shoot first, and never
ask questions. This was, to say the least, bizarre behavior on my part.
Trevor indulged me. After five minutes, his brows dipped in a frown
before he turned the laptop to me. “Guess you’re right. There’s always
something…”
 No hospital bills. No police charges. No internet footprint. No
license…
When I finally saw it, my face twisted with confusion. The blurry,
black-and-white words from the photocopied official government records
didn’t make sense.
DECEASED.
I leaned closer to the screen, skimming for more details. I needed a
specific date.
Sixteen-year-old girl. Five years ago.
I was starting to lose my patience. I needed to know who she really was
and what the fuck she was doing in New York. Was she here for me?
I was still staring at the laptop’s screen when Trevor shut it closed. In
one swift move, he picked it up and began making his way out. I threw my
hands up in frustration before following him.
“She’s faking it. I know it.”
She had to remember me. How could she not?
Trevor entered the private elevator of my penthouse. “I don’t think she
wants anything to do with you, brother.”
I remained in the entryway and crossed my arms. “Oh trust me, she
does.” My words lingered with insinuation. If she really couldn’t remember
me, then I simply just had to jog her memory. Using any methods necessary.
“If you’ll excuse me, I have more important things to do than discuss
your next conquest,” He drawled, pressing the button for the lobby.
“What if she tries to kill me again?”
He shrugged, as the elevator doors closed in. “Then you better not let
her.”

I had walked into Renato with a clear plan in my head: corner Maria.
All of that went out the window when my eyes found her.
She was working at the bar, keeping busy behind the counter. Her back
was facing the room, and I told myself I was simply analyzing my opponent
when my eyes scanned over her body. She wore the same black uniform as
every other employee, though the clothes seemed to fit her better, hugging
her in just the right places. Her hair was up, the pin-straight ponytail almost
grazing her lower back, and I couldn’t help but wonder how many times I
could wrap it around my fist.
I had walked into Renato with a plan. Fifteen minutes later, I had some
guy in the trunk of one of the Cartel’s SUVs.
He’d been bothering her at the bar – making her clean the drink he’d
intentionally spilled on the floor – and I’d reached them just in time to catch
a chair he had kicked, from hitting Maria. Her arm had also come up to stop
the chair, but instead latched onto my forearm. I could still feel her fingers
digging into me through the material of my suit like a black jaguar’s fangs.
Electricity had spread in my veins, causing my heart to miss a beat, and
when she looked up at me… It stopped altogether.
I had appeared falsely disinterested. My gaze was so deep and intense,
it had burned to black soot, masking the fire within.
The wrath in her eyes bled dark red, fusing with the brown edge of her
forest-green irises.
A familiar, dangerous urge had seeped through my veins right there. No
matter what I would have said or done, my mind was set; the decision was
made and the man’s fate was sealed.
Before I knew what I was doing, I put my hand out, only for her to
ignore me. My eyes dipped, following the sway of her hips, before
disappearing behind the bar again. I could still see her walking on repeat in
my mind.
Warmth spread through me before the reminder of what happened next
resurfaced.
“Go serve some tables.”
I felt the energy change before I heard the frustration in her voice. “I’m
not–”
“Now.”
The look she gave me before she left for the back, stabbed me in the
chest like a rusted dagger. I knew she wasn’t taking orders from me; she
just didn’t care about what happened next.
My hand tightened around the steering wheel. Good to know she didn’t
give a fuck I was about to murder someone because of her.
Why did I want to kill him so bad, again? I didn’t care if he
disrespected her.
I was going to disrespect her way worse… When I killed her, of course.
 If anyone was fucking hurting her, it was me. I had stared down her
muzzle two years ago; now it was time to switch roles. In this life, she was
mine in pain, suffering and death.
Tension lined my shoulders. I’d come to Renato to kill Maria, but I was
leaving with somebody else in the fucking trunk. Though, my muscles
relaxed when I blinked and envisioned the man’s body floating in the
Hudson.
I drove one of the Cartel’s SUVs through Renato’s underground
parking, heading towards the abandoned riverside downtown to dump the
body. I had enough time to get back and catch Maria before she ended her
shift.
My hand circled the steering wheel as I took a right out of the garage. It
was about ten at night, but Midtown Manhattan was still bustling with
tourists and nightlife, clueless to what really went on in New York.
“You catch the Yankees game yesterday, Boss?” Joaquín asked from the
back.
“No,” I replied distractedly. I’d been too busy thinking about a green-
eyed brunette to be able to do anything else. “What was the score?”
“Don’t know, Boss. Didn’t see it.”
“Piensa antes de hablar, cabrón.” Sebastián fired the warning from the
passenger seat. “Yankees won 31 to 27, Boss.”
I hummed in response, not bothering to intervene as they kept going
back and forth. Guess that was what happened when you had brothers
working together. Joaquín was eighteen, two years younger than his brother.
Sebastián had already been working for me for a while, but I was still
making them tag along with me for certain things.
They were waiting for me at Renato before I even arrived. I’d made
them aware someone was getting clipped tonight. Guess that someone was
no longer Maria, but some pathetic drunk.
“The girl you just fucked with…” Smacking his shoulder, I shook him
slightly before squeezing a weak spot in his trapezium muscle. He winced,
twisting into his side. “Wrong girl, man.”
I looked over my shoulder and signaled for my personnel to come over.
Two large men rose from their different booths in the club, standing to their
full height. I began making my way to the exit, letting them handle the labor.
The man was too drunk to fight off the six-foot-two hulks carrying him out
behind me.
 They wouldn’t ask questions; wouldn’t dare to. My soldiers were loyal,
but no one questioned me; ever.
I reached into my suit pocket for my phone, but instead touched metal.
Glancing down, I found what I knew I would: the gold bracelet Maria was
wearing earlier.
The clasp was broken, hence how it ended up on the floor and now, in
my pocket. I’d seen it before leaving the bar, and I couldn’t stop myself.
Maybe I really was a psychopath, if I was now collecting souvenirs from
my victims. Instead, I told myself it was a good excuse to talk to her again.
“But did you see the ass on that bartender?” Joaquín’s words pulled me
back in.
Sebastián shook his head slightly, wiping his hand over his mouth to
erase a smirk. “She’s too uptight for me.”
“I know just how to loosen her up…”
“Keep talking like that and it’ll be you in the trunk.” My voice silenced
the car as I shot a look at him through the rear-view mirror, my jaw locked
with tension.
Joaquín put his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, Boss. Didn’t know she
was yours.”
“She’s not–” I shook my head. “Shut the fuck up.”
Sebastián looked over his shoulder, at his younger brother, his words
low. “Piensa antes de hablar.”
“Same goes for you, tonto. I saw your lip twitching.”
He cleared his throat. “Won’t happen again, Boss.”
The slow traffic came to a full stop. I looked out the window to pass the
time; nothing but headlights, streets busy with nightlife, gleam reflecting off
tall buildings and traffic stops. The sun went down, but the city never slept.
I turned my head as the guys started talking about the Yankees again,
but my eyes caught across the street. A familiar figure walked by before
disappearing behind some cars. I leaned forward, catching one more
glimpse before the figure disappeared again. We were in the fifth lane, other
cars all around us, taking out my view of the sidewalk.
I checked the side mirror for cyclists and opened my door. “There’s
something I need to take care of. Sebastián, you’re driving.”
“What about the shipment?”
The question stopped me with one foot out the car. Shit. I’d forgotten
about the import coming in from Brazil. I’d been on edge because of her,
and it was starting to fuck with my business.
“Call Matteo. Get it done.”
He’d give me shit for putting this on him last minute, but he was the
only one who could handle a job this big.
Their words muffled as I shut the car door.
Walking between the unmoving traffic, I stepped onto the busy
sidewalk. Heading in the same direction as Maria, I caught sight of her just
as she turned a corner. She was supposed to stay at Renato so I could see
her later, not end her shift early. She just had to overcomplicate everything;
had to throw my plans in my face.
I’d recognized her within the spilt of a second, despite the oversized
jacket she wore and the hood covering her hair. The thought of calling her
name crossed my mind, but I chose against it. How long would it take for
her to realize I was following her?
As I followed behind her at a significant distance, we left behind Main
Street and entered lonelier, emptier neighborhoods. Frustration bubbled in
my veins. Why did she insist on walking through bad neighborhoods at
night? I knew she was a goddamn assassin, but it was like she was looking
for trouble.
Maria’s apartment was in a nice part of downtown Manhattan, but
instead of taking twenty extra minutes and using the main, busier streets,
she was using a shortcut.
The temperature lowered the longer I followed her through the dark.
She picked up the pace, I picked up the pace. She crossed the street, I
crossed the street. Did she know she was being followed? Was she scared?
Anticipation flowed through me in waves when she changed course,
away from the right direction towards her apartment. On purpose, I
quickened my pace, allowing my footsteps to land heavier. The thuds
against the pavement clicked like the arrows of a watch, letting her know
she was running out of time. I would catch up with her.
I turned the corner of an abandoned building, into a dark alley, slowing
down in the center as I realized the tight space was empty. Far off ahead of
me, vapor flowed up from vents in the ground.
A small smile curved my lips, twisted excitement making my fingers
itch for something completely different from a trigger.
Where was she hiding?
 “Why are you following me?” Her smooth voice came from the
shadows behind.
I ran my tongue over my teeth before a deep chuckle escaped me,
echoing between the graffitied brick walls. I shook my head softly. She
always stayed one step ahead… What else was she good at?
A slice sound cut through the air before something slit the edge of my
ear. My eyes cut to the dagger as it impaled a dumpster to my side. I felt the
single drop of crimson as it slipped over my skin; down my ear, to the tattoo
on my neck, before dissolving into my black shirt.
My hand coming up to the small cut, I turned around, analyzing the
blood on my fingers. “You missed.”
“That was a warning. I don’t miss.”

After going back and forth about why I had followed her – for way
longer than we should have – and me refusing to provide her with an
answer, I decided it was time to put an end to both our suffering and leave
that godforsaken alley.
But she was already walking away.
I closed the few steps between us and grabbed her arm, pulling her
back. Maria looked ready to clock me in the jaw, so I didn’t waste any time
placing the bracelet she’d lost earlier, in her palm.
I didn’t wait for her reaction. Did she even notice it was missing? Did
she care? I pushed past her while she stared at the object in her hand.
“Come on, I’ll get you a cab.”
After a moment, she caught up with me, walking by my side. “Where
did you get it?”
“You dropped it.”
“Where?”
“Sidewalk.”
“I didn’t have it when I left Renato.”
Fuck.
“You’re lying.” As we got back on Main Street, she stepped in front of
me and I almost tripped over her. Some passers-by cussed us out for
stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. “Quit trying to mess with me.”
 “Can’t help it, hermosa. You’re fun to mess with.”
“Yeah? Let me know if it’s still fun when I’m stabbing you in the
spleen.”
“Go ‘head and try that. I’ll have you begging for life in less than thirty
seconds.”
“You motherfu–”
Maria was cut off by a passer-by pushing past, who threw her directly
into my chest. My hands instinctively went out to catch her as I looked over
my shoulder at the new person I now wanted to stab. And I would’ve gone
through with it if it hadn’t been a middle-aged woman struggling with some
packages.
It wasn’t until I turned back to Maria that I realized how close we’d
been pushed together. Her hands had come up to my stomach for support,
under the small opening below my suit jacket button. A one-in-a-million
space to reach my torso covered by a mere shirt – and she had found it. Her
palms burned throw the thin material, branding my abdomen with the
memory of her touch. Heat coiled in my stomach before seeping even lower
to my groin.
My eyes focused from her hands on me to her eyes, but she was already
watching me; waiting for a reaction. My own hands were still squeezing her
shoulders, insulating us from the busy streets of the city.
The sparkling lights accentuated the faint scar over her left eye. I
suddenly decided I liked it. Because it matched mine.
She held my eyes and I wondered what she saw in them.
I usually wore a harsher stare but I couldn’t have altered the look I gave
Maria even if I’d tried. All I knew was, a flame burned steady in my gaze
whenever it was on her.
Her lips parted and I wondered what she tasted like. Her chest slowly
expanded as she took a deep breath; was she breathless too?
I leaned in, and her eyes lowered to my lips as a smirk twisted them.
“Begging.”
Her eyes snapped back to mine, remembering my earlier threat. “Fuck
you,” She cussed, trying to get out of my hold while rolling her eyes. If she
only knew all the ways I could make her eyes roll like that.
One of my hands went higher, to the back of her neck, as I pulled her
back into me; her arms, the only barrier between us. “Would you?”
 That’s when she smiled, though her voice came out slightly breathless.
“I’d rather gouge my own eyes out, chew them down, and then shoot
myself in the head.”
Liar.
A smirk tugged the corner of my lips up as my hold on her loosened.
My face hardened along with something else when she stepped back
and dropped her hands from my abdomen, accidentally grazing my bulge.
She must have realized too because her cheeks warmed with a soft pink,
though neither led on that we did.
Clearing my throat, I took a step towards the road and raised my hand
to stop a taxi. When it did, I opened the backseat door and Maria stepped in
without another word or glance my way. I shut the door before knocking on
the passenger window. When the man rolled the window down, I handed
him a couple hundred bills from my wallet. The fare wouldn’t be more than
$30.
“Get her home safe,” I added after giving him the address. If only she
had any idea how much I knew.
We shared an understanding look before he nodded and took the
money. “Yes, sir.” He’d probably never seen or heard of me before, but
there would be an obvious price to pay if he didn’t do as told.
I stepped back on the sidewalk and watched the cab drive off. It was
getting closer to midnight now, so traffic had died down.
My clothes felt heavier.
My skin was hot.
I needed to get laid.
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 28

Present
I TOOK IN A DEEP breath, sitting up straight as ice-cold water dripped
down my naked torso. I blinked through the water coming down from my
hair, seeing the bed now soaked.
“What the fuck?!” I yelled, throwing the black, silk sheets off me and
getting out of bed in nothing but my boxers.
My brother, already dressed in a suit, pointed a finger at me from the
other side. “That’s what you get for the shit you pulled last night.”
I stared at him like he was insane. He was thirty-four – ten years older
than me – and still acting like a man-child.
“You’re fucking serious?”
“Shouldn’t be giving me last-minute jobs that big.” He shrugged,
heading out of my bedroom with a large pot in his hand. “I’m supposed to
be on vacation, remember?”
He had been on vacation. For the past four years.
Matteo became the head of the Mexican Cartel at sixteen after our
father was killed in the drug war against the Colombians. I’d only just
started the first grade at the time, so my brother sent me to New York, away
from South America.
He ran the Cartel for fourteen years, managing to stay alive by avoiding
every stupid mistake made before him; he remained faceless, instilled
respect and loyalty into his army, and filled his enemies with fear by killing
anyone who even remotely resembled a cucaracha. Rats and snitches were
punished with worse than death.
 While he controlled South America and Europe, traveling constantly to
take care of business, I ran the US for him.
Or at least I did, until one day four years ago, he showed up at my
penthouse in New York and announced he was retiring.
Fucking retiring.
From being a goddamn drug lord. And dumping it all on me.
That day, I became Diablo.
That day, Matteo also became a pain in my ass.
Running the family business wasn’t the problem; him breathing down
my fucking neck was. To my brother, retiring meant putting all the shitty
workload on me while he just accompanied me to every meeting, left for
Miami or Vegas with no notice, and broke into my penthouse like it was his
house.
Before leaving my room, Matteo threw over his shoulder, “We got the
DeMone meeting. Be downstairs in ten minutes, fool.”
I groaned in frustration as I made my way to the bathroom. Of course, I
hadn’t forgotten about the meeting because I was thinking about a green-
eyed brunette.
He was lucky he was my goddamn brother.

Low Sicilian classics came from the record player in the corner, the air
was thick with tension and cigar smoke, and it felt like anyone would start
shooting at any minute.
Matteo threw a look from across the table. Glad I came along now, ese?
He puffed on a Montecristo Cuban, letting out a grey cloud. I would never
admit it to his face, but I was glad I had backup with me. This meeting was
going to shit, and there would be bodies to clean up.
The head of the Chicago Outfit smashed his hands on the marble table
and raised from his seat, his chair scraping on the fancy stone tiles. “You
goddamn guineas.”
As soon as the insult left his mouth, Tony moved to get up.
A single look from Gìo made him sit back down.
If you would’ve asked me, he looked rather disappointed he wouldn’t
be the one to kill the man himself. They didn’t call him ‘K.O.’ Tony for
nothing.
The Outfit head let out a laugh. “You really busting my balls with this.
He’s still twenty and not even married.”
“I’ll be thirty by the end of the year.” Gìo’s voice was calm. Too calm.
“And married.”
I exchanged a quick look with Matteo. Gìo had refused every woman
his parents suggested he marry. They were either too pretty, not pretty
enough, too smart, not smart enough, too skinny, too tall, too short – and the
list went on. His mother almost fainted after he refused girl #40. There were
only so many girls in the Italian-American Mafia.
The man walked around the table, approaching the other end, where
Enzo DeMone was sitting with his two sons. “First, you stop my business
with the Triad. Now, you’re making this shithead Don?” He pointed a finger
– something you never did to a mobster. I mentally cringed thinking how
many pieces they would cut him into. “So what? You can break the rules
but we can’t?”
Instead of answering, Enzo turned to his oldest son. Gìovanni took one
last drag out of his cigar before putting it out. In the split moment I blinked,
Gìo pushed his chair back and stood to his full height; his hands went
around the man’s throat like a vice as he lifted him in the air. The Chicago
Boss’ feet dangled in the air as Gìo strangled him in front of the whole
room of criminals. The tiny crushes of bones were the only sounds to break
the silence.
I smirked, rubbing my thumb over my mouth. There wasn’t a better
way of establishing yourself as a Don in the underworld than killing
another.
Moments later, Gìo dropped the man to the floor and sat back down in
his chair. The body twitched once more on the floor before stilling
completely.
Gìo took another puff from his Cuban. “Anyone else got any
complaints?”
There was a moment of silence.
“Congratulations on becoming Don, Gìovanni.” The ex-Underboss,
now Boss, of the Chicago Mob raised and walked over to shake his hand,
followed by the Camorra leaders. After the room cleared, Matteo and I went
to congratulate Gìo.
 “Drinks at Renato?” Tony asked after nudging the dead body with his
shoe.
“Where’s Trevor? Shouldn’t he have been here?” Matteo asked as we
stepped over the corpse and headed towards the exit of the restaurant’s
basement.
“Busy.”
“With what?”
Tony paused before answering. “No idea.”
I bet I could guess exactly whose apartment he’d rather be at on a
Saturday morning.
“Thanks for the show, by the way.” I rested a hand on Gìo’s shoulder.
He let out a sardonic laugh. “Anytime.”
“Should we be worried for whoever you picked to be your lucky
bride?”
Gìo’s smile darkened. “Definitely.”

There might have been an ulterior reason as to why I agreed to go for

celebratory drinks at Renato. After the last run-in, I had Trevor break into
the club’s system and find the work schedule.
I continued to look at Maria, who was still unaware she was being
watched. Or, if she was aware, she didn't let it be known.
Her eyes were the first thing you noticed about her. I immediately
recognized them. How could I fucking forget them? They were the last
thing I saw when I closed my eyes at night. The first thing I thought of in
the morning. And once, they were the last thing I saw before I nearly died.
All these years, she haunted me – consumed me. I couldn’t move on.
And now here she was, across the room, serving drinks at Renato. Part
of me was delighted; it was like she was dropped into my lap. The other
was furious she’d been working here this whole time; the elite club I’d been
a member of since birth.
I searched for her for years… And she was here all along. Right under
my nose, knowing people I spoke to almost every day. Anger intoxicated
my veins at the fact it took me this long to find her, to realize she was right
here.
 She carried a soft expression. She was so calm… yet alert. I wondered
what crossed her thoughts. She hid her feelings so well, someone had to
observe her for a long time before even being able to guess what she was
thinking. Her body language didn’t give anything away either.
This girl was fucking unreadable.
I didn't like that.
But there was one thing I could tell from the start: something always
seemed to be on her mind. Was it guilt? Yeah, right.
I continued to observe her from an armchair at the back of the club for
far longer than I should have. The guys had left about an hour ago – we’d
ended up spending the whole day talking business at the club. I stayed
behind. And now, I couldn’t leave. It was like she had me in a trance. I just
couldn’t look away.
I watched as she gave the same greeting nod to everyone – every man.
I was six-foot-five, but she didn't notice me for another ten minutes.
When her eyes finally found mine, her eyebrows dropped and narrowed,
before she returned to her job, making more drinks ordered by more men
who only wanted an excuse to talk to her.
Maria was by no means a 'people person'. She disliked small talk, ass-
kissing and pretending to care. But she still remained professional and
respectful.
She gave basic respect to everyone. Except me.
Although she kept an ice-cold expression on her face, every man in the
room was salivating over her. Was that what she wanted me to do? Drop to
my knees and beg for her attentiveness? No woman with that much male
attention was anything but conceited and one-dimensional.
I had a reason for hating her.
But what was her excuse?
She disliked me the second our eyes met across the club. I chuckled –
maybe it was her intuition.
I could see she liked to spend money by her black Jimmy Choo heels
and Cartier watch. Guess that made sense since she worked here. I also
made a note of the fact that the gold Bvlgari bracelet I’d returned to her the
other night was not back on her wrist like it’d been every time before.
I would’ve been turned on if I wasn’t so pissed off. I liked a woman
who knew what she wanted and wasn’t scared to take or ask for it.
 I also liked a woman who wasn’t scared to spend my money. Every girl
I’d ever talked to in the past made it a point to let me know she was
‘humble’. She wouldn’t spend any of my money because she wasn’t ‘that
type of girl’ – whatever the fuck that meant. Five minutes later, they were
blushing over the fact I’d paid for dinner before I fucked them in the
bathroom.
Maria didn’t even blink or say ‘thanks’ when I paid for her drink or cab
the other night.
I hated the fact that a part of me wouldn’t have minded getting on my
knees for her, begging just like the rest of her admirers. It was a hard pill to
swallow considering I’d never even had to ask for anything in my life
before. Money, power, sex – they were all handed to me on a silver platter,
without any effort on my part.
After a while, it got pretty fucking boring.
“What can I get for you tonight, sir?”
I looked up to see one of the waitresses. My eyes fell back on Maria
who laughed loudly at something her co-worker said at the bar. Her voice
flowed over the smooth jazz music, ran through my veins and settled in my
groin. “Let Maria know I’m waiting for her.”
“I apologize, but she’s only bartending tonight.” The girl smiled
apologetically. I nodded and she left without another word.
As I left my table and walked towards the bar, Maria’s eyes found
mine. She froze for a fraction of a moment but looked away before her eyes
had the chance to bore into mine. She whispered something to her co-
worker, dropped her hand towel and walked away.
She just ended her shift.
This girl…

I smoothly pulled out of Renato’s underground parking garage. Rain

splattered against my black G-wagon as I got onto Main Street and lowered
the passenger window. Maria’s eyes flickered to the side, but she pretended
not to notice my car slowing down.
"Get in the car." My tone was firmer than usual.
She threw me a sarcastic look. "Yeah… No."
 "Get in the car, Maria." My voice carried her name with insinuation.
I had spent the past two years obsessing over how she almost took my
life. But didn’t. Why did she let me live? I needed to know.
I had spent the past two years planning my revenge against the one
person who almost succeeded in killing me.
And she couldn’t give less of a shit.
I saw it on her face, she didn’t remember me.
She thought I was just another guy who wanted to fuck her. She wasn’t
necessarily wrong – I just wanted to fuck her over.
She suddenly stopped in her tracks and I mentally slapped myself. She
never told me her name. Fuck. I didn’t need her getting suspicious now.
She turned to me with a mischievously sweet smile. "Say please,
Zachary."
I didn’t try to stop the smirk upturning my lips. Turns out my little
assassin was asking about me as well… What else did she think about me?
"Get in the car or I'll spank you until I brand my handprint on your
ass.”
I chuckled when her smile fell – she actually looked terrified; nothing
like the apathetic reaction to the death threats from last night. My face
sobered when I added, “Please.” I needed her to get in, not run for the hills.
When she didn’t move, I tried again. “Francesca told me you were
working late. She strongly suggested I give you a ride home ‘cause of the
storm.” That was… partly true.
The conflict in her head, as she tried picking between me and the
storm, was somewhat amusing. The wind whipped against her jacket, and I
couldn’t believe my eyes when she actually got in.
Pretending I wasn’t surprised, I nonchalantly drove off, rolled the
window up, and turned the heat on high when a small shiver rolled through
her. I tried to shake it off, but the tension thickened as the only sound
between us was the heater.
Clenching my jaw, I sneaked a peek at her. Of course. No reaction.
What was wrong with me? I gritted my teeth. “Seatbelt.”
To my surprise, she complied without hesitation before making herself
more comfortable. A weird feeling burned in my chest at the sight of her –
so relaxed – in my car. Around me.
The heavy drops of rain smashed against the windshield, blurring the
blinding lights of Manhattan. As I focused back on the road, a smirk on my
lips, I felt the heat of her gaze on my face.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“What?”
I didn’t take her for a sex-shy girl but I guess I didn’t know her at all.
She short-circuited when I made the spanking comment earlier, but she
didn’t blush. I’d never seen this woman react before, but if talking about
fucking got more of a reaction than talking about murder…
Then I had no other option but to do what needed to be done to get the
reaction I needed in order to understand her mind.
That was all.
“You’re just…” I licked my lips, searching for the right words. “A lot
more submissive than I thought you’d be.”
Silence.
I glanced at her. She looked like she wanted to violently kill me.
But.
A soft pink coasted her cheeks. She was blushing. I took that as a win.
Her lips parted but nothing came out. Was she speechless? But then she
faced the front again and nonchalantly commanded, “Cállate.”
My deep, dark chuckle filled the car.
The rest of the ride was in a weirdly comfortable silence. I tensed my
jaw when my gaze flickered to the side and I caught her thighs rubbing. The
act was innocent; she was probably just readjusting in her seat. But for
some reason, it resulted in me having to readjust the situation in my pants.
When I parked in front of her apartment building, we both froze. She
never told me where she lived. Shit.
She turned to me. “How–”
I stalked you.
“I heard you give the address to the taxi driver.”
A moment of silence. A flicker of doubt.
My fingers itched on the steering while. The thought of taking her
somewhere else had crossed my mind multiple times throughout the last
twenty minutes. But was I ready to end whatever this game was we were
playing?
There were other ways to understand the mess in her head. Other ways
to get the information I wanted. Maybe getting close to her was exactly
what I needed to do.
 Before ruining her from the inside, out…
“Well, thanks for the ride, asshole.” She chirped, undoing her seatbelt.
So we were onto teasing now?
“No problem, hermosa.” My own smirk grew as I unlocked her door.
She got out, but before she could shut the door, I tried one more time. I
gave her one last chance to remember and balance the playing field; one last
chance to save herself from what I was about to do. “Que sueñes con los
angelitos.”
She froze.
Come on… Remember me.
Her eyes focused on mine, searching. But then the ice around the edges
melted just a little. When her cheeks turned slightly pink again, my body
warmed.
With a small frown on her face, she mumbled, “You too,” before
shutting the door.
Fuck.
I rubbed a hand over my jaw as I watched her walk away. The way
long, chocolate-colored hair bounced above her lower back… The way her
hips swayed… I readjusted my pants again.
Why did the hottest woman from here to the West Coast, have to be this
one?
I needed to stop thinking with my dick and take care of the problem.
Anyone else in my position would’ve already done so. Why was I taking
my time with this kill?
I continued to watch her through the glass walls of the building as she
entered the lobby. After pressing the elevator button, she stole a look at me
over her shoulder, before quickly looking away. This girl…
In all honesty, I’d taken my time until now. What was waiting a little
way longer?
I smirked and reached for my phone, pulling up the live security
camera footage of the building. When she unlocked her door on the fifth
floor and closed it behind, I quickly drove off before she could see me
through the window.
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 29

Present
“I’LL GIVE YOU ONE LAST chance to tell me what I want to know.”
“Just kill him already.”
“Will you shut the fuck up so I can get this over with?”
Matteo raised his hands in defense from the worn-out couch. He was
sprawled across it like he was at home, watching football highlights on the
flatscreen. In reality, he was in a safe house basement, interrupting me
torturing a rat.
I turned back to the man, digging my knife into his neck. His face was
mutilated; inflamed and purple, dirty with blood – the guys had already
gotten to him before I did. He’d apparently been caught stealing drugs from
our pharmaceutical businesses and writing fake prescriptions. I knew his
cockroach-sized brain wasn’t running a drug organization, I just needed to
know who he was working for.
His mouth opened when my blade pushed into his neck, finally ready to
snitch on his people.
The basement’s metal door slammed open.
“You’re still not done?”
“For fuck sake, Trevor.” I rose from my hunches and turned around to
face him. “Can’t you see I’m fucking busy?”
“We’re late. Just tie him up and deal with it tomorrow.”
“I can’t. He’ll bleed out by then,” I scolded before turning back around
to the man who was now passed out, his blood pooling on the cement.
“Great. He bled out.”
“Well, that was anticlimactic.”
 “Thank fuck, we can finally leave.” Matteo pushed off the couch,
heading for the stairs with Trevor.
Dropping the knife to the floor, I ran my hands down my face. It was
like dealing with toddlers.
I turned to the two big guards standing by the door. “Clean this shit up.
Dissolve the body in acid.”
“Yes, Boss.”
Grabbing my suit jacket off the back of a chair, I left the room and
headed for the stairs. A single bulb lighted the cement underground
structure. Before I knew it, I was pushing the fire exit door open and back
above ground.
The guys waited for me across the parking lot, smoking in front of my
car and Trevor’s. I glanced to the side as I walked towards them; we were in
an industrial area in Brooklyn, the river on the other side of the fence wire
along with the skyline of Manhattan. Being around nine p.m. in May, it
hadn’t gone fully dark outside yet; it was still dusk.
“So, you coming or not?”
“Thanks, but there’s a million other things I’d rather do than have you
drag me to a tea party,” Matteo drawled, throwing his cigarette on the
ground and stomping on it with his expensive shoe.
“You interrupted my torturing session for a tea party?” I asked, turning
to Trevor.
“No.”
“Yes,” Matteo corrected, walking away. “So, I’m taking your car.”
I paid a good million for an exclusive Brabus G-Class AMG 63.
“Scratch it and you’re a dead man walking.”
My brother only smirked before getting in the blacked-out, bulletproof
SUV. The engine roared to life and gravel popped under the wheels as he
took off.
I turned to Trevor, the lack of excitement conveyed on my face.
He snorted, walking around his black Ferrari and getting in. “You’ll
thank me.”
“For what?”
“You’ll see.”
“Since when are you so fucking mysterious?” I asked, getting in the
luxurious F8 Spider model. The powerful rumble of the engine shook
through the leather seats.
 Forty minutes later, we were on the Upper East Side, parking in the
underground garage of Natalia’s building. I raised a brow at Trevor as we
headed to the lobby, but he pretended not to see. When the back door closed
behind us and the soft, amber lighting of the reception chandeliers glowed
from above, Kali and Francesca entered through the revolving glass front
doors.
We stopped in front of the elevators and the girls waved when they saw
us, hurrying over.
“Tony went to buy a pack of cigarettes,” Francesca explained, a fancy
bottle of red wine in her hands that matched the color of her dress. “He’ll
meet us upstairs.”
“Gìo couldn’t make it?” Trevor asked, hitting the button for the
elevator with more force than necessary. “What a shame,” He drawled as
the metal doors opened, his sarcasm bleeding through. No one knew why
they didn’t like each other.
As we stepped inside, Kali elbowed her brother in the ribs hard enough
to get a hiss out of him – which never happened. “Be nice.”
“Don’t bother. Gìovanni’s been a real goddamn stronzo lately,”
Francesca snapped about her own brother.
“What’s new?”
Francesca ran her tongue over her teeth as she looked between us. “He
wants to remove me from the family business.”
“No!”
“The fuck?” Even I couldn’t hide my shock. Francesca had been the
brain behind multiple operations of the Cosa Nostra; she’d even handled the
war with the Russians. If Gìo replaced her, there’d be a decline in his bank
account, and since I did business with the DeMones, that also meant a
decline in my accounts.
“Why?”
“He thinks I should do other things. Like, get a hobby. Or worse:
married.” I could tell the word tasted sour on her tongue by the way her lip
curled in disgust. Francesca wanted more than money and popularity; she
wanted respect and power – something I could understand.
We were who we were.
And we wanted what we wanted.
There was nothing her older brother could do to keep her out of the
mob. Her mind was already dead-set on becoming Underboss.
 Once we arrived on the fifty-second floor, Trevor knocked on door
number 111. Moments later, it swung open, revealing Natalia in a pink
glittery dress.
They all stopped to chat in the entryway, but I nodded a short greeting
at Natalia and made my way in.
I walked into the lion’s den, clueless as to what was awaiting me inside.
Or for the rest of the night.

The gold bullet burned in my pocket along with a gold piece of jewelry.
I tried to stop myself when I passed the shop window earlier tonight,
but before I knew it, I was walking backward to get another look at the
bracelet through the glass. A twenty-four-karat gold, delicate chain with two
charms: an abstract design of an angel and a devil holding each other, their
eyes diamonds.
I shouldn’t be buying her shit.
And I had somewhere else to be.
But I still pushed the store’s door open and half an hour later, walked
out with a ten-thousand-dollar box in my hands. Hence why I’d been late to
get to Brooklyn in the first place.
I didn’t know why I did it. Maybe because I was aware she hadn’t been
wearing a bracelet anymore, since her Bvlgari one broke. Maybe because I
wanted to gain her trust in order to break her down so much more painfully.
My jaw flexed and tension coursed through my muscles as I watched
her from across the goddamn room. She’d insisted on sitting on the far end
of the dinner table to avoid shit from hitting the fan, but the distance she
constantly put between us only seemed to make my hands itch more.
Maria’s eyes pierced me from across the table as she lifted a spoon with
tiramisu. Her lips parted before closing around the silverware. She twisted
the cutlery before dragging her lips off seductively, leaving a drop of white
cream on her bottom lip. When a manicured finger came up to wipe the
desert off before she slowly licked it – warmth flooded my veins, settling in
my stomach and drifting lower.
Fuck me. I stifled a groan and readjusted my position in the dining
chair.
 She’d started doing that in retaliation after I almost burned the clothes
off her with my own staring. She avoided meeting my eyes at first, shifting
uncomfortably under my attention, but after a while, she came back to her
senses and remembered she couldn’t possibly let me win this little game
between us.
She wasn’t wearing anything crazy; baggy jeans and an even baggier
crewneck. But fuck, I guess they were right about leaving it all to the
imagination. Every time I saw her form move under those goddamn clothes,
it was like a reward. Every curve and dip... I needed to know what she
looked like.
We both remained quiet, silently fighting with our eyes from across the
dining table while the others talked or at least attempted to have a normal
conversation. I could tell something was off about Trevor, like he had
something on his mind. I thought he’d bring it up at one point, but he never
did.
When the dinner party ended, everyone got up to help with cleaning up,
except for Maria who’d been the one to cook the food. She made a pretty
mean pasta. Even Tony, who was Tony, said it was better than the ones their
Sicilian private cooks made. Guess someone was getting fired at the Cosa
Nostra.
I caught Maria slipping away from everyone, heading into a separate
hallway. Obviously, I followed behind, only to catch the sight of the guest
bathroom door closing behind her.
Standing alone in the dark hallway, I waited. Dim light came from the
open living-kitchen space behind me, and the thinnest thread of light spilled
underneath the bathroom door.
How easy it would be to follow her inside and put a bullet in her head.

I didn’t bother to turn the lights on when I got back to my place, the
city lights coming through the floor-to-ceiling windows providing sufficient
clarity.
When I stepped into my bedroom, I halted; hands in pockets, and stared
at the painting hanging above my bed.
 A black-and-white, abstract painting of a girl’s face, almost fully
blurred. Her long, dark hair, messy and wild, cascaded down her shoulders.
Only her siren eyes remained intact – extremely detailed and vibrantly
green.
I had it made two years ago to never forget my objective – a problem
I’d anticipated and was proven to be right. I needed to get this over with
soon.
It was settled.
The next time I saw her, it would be the last.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 30

Present
SHOCKER. I DIDN'T STICK TO the fucking plan.
There’d been plenty of opportunities. I could’ve slit her throat in the
library and left her to bleed out between the bookshelves. I almost went
through with it on the abandoned outskirts of town; my blade had been
against her neck, but again so had hers against mine.
I was… to say the least, impressed by her skills. I was bigger and
stronger but her technique always exceeded mine.
Sure, I could’ve still taken her out right there, but it all seemed…
anticlimactic. Boring. Meh.
I’d been hung up about this assassin for the past two years of my life
and all I was getting was a mere stab wound?
No. I was capable of worse.
Similarly, there’d been a window tonight, when I cornered her in the
staff kitchen at Francesca’s apartment. We were all alone, away from the
party. No one would’ve heard her scream.
However, after spending more time with Maria than intended, I quickly
came to learn from her that the best way to destroy someone was by
breaking through their walls. I wanted to fuck with her head the same way
she had fucked with mine for those two years. And what better way to rip
someone apart than right from the inside?
Hence why I’d switched my strategy from homicide to romanticize.
But of course, she had to make this complicated. Had to make me lose
my fucking mind trying to keep up with her. Despite everything, it still felt
like she was the one in control.
 And to clarify everything, there was no guy.
I’d pushed her too far and now had to deal with the consequences. I
knew I was risking it when I insinuated she was scared of me, but continued
regardless. Now, I was competing with some imaginary guy. I wouldn’t tell
Maria I knew he didn’t exist – that Kali had lied for her – she’d only find
some stranger to not lose face.
This girl was not making it easy for me.
Maybe she didn’t believe what I’d said in her ear earlier, but that didn’t
matter. She’d see for herself soon enough.
I returned my attention to the party. Everyone was drinking and
enjoying themselves – except for me.
If only I could focus on anything instead of the woman in front of me.
From the couch, I watched Maria dancing and laughing with her friends.
Latin-American music was now playing, and I had to watch her
move torturously slow to the exotic beat in those jeans of hers.
Although I was sure it wasn’t her intention, she always showed just
enough to leave my mind wondering. For a moment, I imagined what I
knew I’d find underneath her baggy clothes. A rush of heat ran to my groin.
While others wore dresses, suits or party outfits, she wore jeans and a
T-shirt, both too large for her. It was still objectively appropriate for the
occasion – a different style, leaning towards streetwear – but to me, she
might as well have worn nothing but lingerie. Anything she wore became
obscene in my mind.
And those goddamn jeans... I couldn’t wait for her to beg me to rip
them off.
She was continuously disrespecting me, yet all I could think of was
wanting to bend her over my lap and spank her for the inconvenience she
caused me by looking so insanely good.
I was still not over the fact that she was genuinely clueless about this
situation, and all I wanted was to fuck her into remembering me.
I tried to back off.
I tried to give her space.
But when she walked past where I was sitting on the couch – way
closer than she needed to – I couldn’t resist. She was teasing me; had been
since the very beginning. And she enjoyed the hunt just as much as I did,
even though she wouldn’t admit it to me or herself. We had been in a game
of cat-and-mouse for some time now, and I was growing bored of playing
with my prey.
Because I wanted to teach her a lesson – and because I’m an asshole – I
moved my leg in front of hers. As expected, she lost her balance and began
falling.
But I wouldn’t let her hit the ground.
I caught her.
Then pulled her on my lap.
Her long brown hair drooped over her shoulders like silk, slightly
covering her face as she looked down at my chest. Her hands clang to my
biceps and her long, sharp nails dug into my skin through the fabric of my
suit. The stings morphed into dark pleasure, flooding through my veins and
down my body.
Despite her baggy top, I could feel her soft tits pressed against my
chest, and her hard nipples as they poked through her bra and shirt. My
hands had settled on her waist as she straddled my hips, her thighs on each
side of me on the couch. Her center was flush against my groin, and her
body fit so perfectly against mine, it made my mind buzz with electricity.
Slowly, Maria lifted her gaze to mine. Glossy lips parted and
hypnotizing green eyes narrowed on me.
“Did you just…trip me?”
“Catching you makes up for it.”
Fire ignited in her eyes – the fire I desperately waited to see every time
she looked at me.
I was a hypocrite. I liked how she never gave anybody her attention.
But when she looked at me like I was just anybody… My own fire erupted
into flames and I suddenly hated her indifference.
I would be the first to break her heart of ice, just so I could seep
through the cracks and sink so deep inside her she would never feel
anything but me ever again.
Maybe then she’ll feel an ounce of what I’d felt all these years –
obsessing over a pair of emerald eyes that belonged to a girl whose face I
didn’t even know.
One way or another I would make her feel something.
She looked at me like she genuinely wanted to kill me; I stared back.
She squinted her eyes, challenging me; I raised an eyebrow in return. Dark
satisfaction expanded in my chest when she didn’t move off me. She could
say whatever she wanted, but her body told me everything I needed to
know.
We were so close I could count every lash fanning her bewitching eyes.
Then our breathing synced.
And I swear the harshness in her eyes softened for just a moment.
Blood spread down my body. My dick pressed against my zipper and
that was finally enough to scare her.
When she felt me, her eyes went wide and she jumped off me. Falling
backward, she landed on her ass, between my legs. Her gaze slid up to the
erection pressing against my pants, and I couldn’t stop myself from
spreading my legs further and readjusting my position.
Her gaze shot up to my face. Then she tsked at me again and kicked my
leg before getting up. Still, I didn’t miss the soft pink that coated her
cheeks.
I watched her walk away again.
Annoyance grew inside me. Both at her and my body’s reaction.
Fuck, she was hot.
Even I couldn’t deny it anymore.
I had fucking eyes. I could see how every guy turned to get a double
look at her when she walked past. How she was so effortlessly beautiful, it
hurt to look.
I had a fucking functioning dick. I was aware I got hard at the mere
mention of her name.
I had fucking common sense. I knew she was the hottest piece of ass in
New York. And I’d bet anything, she gave head just as good as she fired
headshots with a Glock.
I wanted to fuck her brains out and have her take me down her throat. I
wanted to kill every man who even glanced at her.
There was the goddamn reason. Why I’d been dragging my feet to kill
her.
A distant part of me was telling me I would definitely not kill her after I
fucked her. Because I knew after I had her once, I wouldn’t want to stop.
Shit. What was wrong with me?
I hadn’t been with a woman since Maria walked into that nightclub two
months ago. I needed to get laid, but every time I looked at another girl, I
compared them to her.
I was more than fucked. I was completely fucking–
 My thoughts were interrupted when Tony threw himself on the couch
next to me, along with some girls who were with him. One sat on his lap,
another on his far side, and the third between me and him.
“You look like you got a lot on your mind. Thought I’d bring the party
to you.” Tony leaned back into the cushions, bringing a cigarette up to his
mouth and inhaling deeply. As he breathed out a cloud of smoke, a hand
rested on my leg, near my dick. I turned around to see two girls settling on
the couch to my other side.
I was too pissed off for this.
As I went to get up, one of the girls pushed my shoulders back, leaning
into me and pushing her tits in my face.
I turned my face away, back to Tony who watched me with an amused
face as I absently pushed the girl off.
“Fuck’s up your ass? Acting like you got a wife at home or some shit.”
My mouth tipped up. “You’re acting like you’ve been in prison for the
past twenty years.” There was no doubt in my mind that he would leave
tonight with all five girls now that I wasn’t interested.
His head tipped back with laughter. “Motherfucker.”
I chuckled, turning my head away, when my eyes found her across the
room.
Maria dancing with one of my soldiers.
My smirk instantly dropped, my face filling with tension when I
clenched my jaw. Following the sway of her hips, I realized she was
grinding her ass back into him.
I snapped my eyes back to her face only to find that she was already
looking at me, trouble written all over her face. Smirking, she looked away,
turned around, and hooked her arms around his neck.
Anger bubbled in my veins, filling me with a poisonous amount of
rage. The muscles in my arms flexed as venom seeped throughout my body.
I was so much hotter than that piece of shit. Taller and built better. Had
a better face. Sharper jawline. Better hair. Better clothes. Better shit to say
than anything he could ever tell her.
She glanced over her shoulder one more time, looking directly at me.
My breathing turned heavy with fury. This was her payback for the
insignificant prank I pulled? Of course, she always had to take it further,
past the fucking line; every goddamn time.
 When she took the guy’s hand and walked off towards the empty guest
rooms, I completely lost my shit.
I shot off the couch, not even caring or noticing the girl falling off me. I
stalked after Maria, pushing through the crowd like an asshole.
If she wasn’t letting me in, then no one was fucking getting her. I swear
she brought out the worse in me – since when the fuck was I possessive? I
didn’t give a shit about shit.
Shit. Was I jealous over Maria?
Before I could think it over, I opened the door she closed behind her.
He immediately came into my view. Lifting my arm, I pointed my Glock
with the silencer towards the man.
“We’re busy–”
Pop.
Oops. Guess you’re not so fucking busy anymore.
I had now killed two men because of Maria. And both because men
seemed to lose their fucking minds around her. Judging from the current
situation, I seemed to be no different.
I was still too angry to be around her; I could feel it itching in my
palms. If I didn’t leave now, I knew I’d touch her and I had to stop putting
my hands on this girl because it fucked with my head. I turned around to
walk out.
But then, her hand grabbed my bicep, her nails digging through the suit
and into my skin. “You can’t just leave me with this!”
I gave her a sardonic smile. “Should’ve been more careful, hermosa.”
I moved to walk away again, but she didn’t let go, only pulled on my
arm harder.
“Zachary!”
She just had to push my goddamn buttons.
Before I even knew what I was doing, I was walking into her, forcing
her to step back until her back hit the wall. My hands went under her T-
shirt, squeezing her waist between my palms.
Her breathing was so shallow, it made liquid fire flow through my
veins before collecting low in my stomach.
We were so close our noses were touching, yet while I watched all of
her, she was focused on my lips.
“What’s my name?” I rasped.
 Her brows knitted, before she breathlessly responded, her eyes never
leaving my mouth. “Zachary. Zachary Rafael Di’Ablo.”
Fucking Zachary– No one fucking called me by my full goddamn
government name. Except for her, of course.
I squeezed her waist harder; not enough to hurt, but enough to assert
control. Growling, my lips brushed the corner of her mouth, “What’s. My.
Name.”
Maria slowly raised her gaze, realizing what I wanted from her.
Say it. Zach.
She never had said it before, and there was a primal urge inside me that
needed to hear her say it.
When she remained silent, I let out a sardonic breath.
We were dangerously close.
Our lips were only one bad decision away.
I didn’t know what possessed me to say the following words but they
escaped me nonetheless. “Why would you pick some complete nobody,
when you could have me?”
The energy in the air changed. The sensations of our skin touching
intensified. Her eyes warmed. My blood warmed.
“You want me to kiss you.”
When she parted her lips to interrupt, I covered her mouth with my
palm, silencing her. It was possessive and restrictive, yet her pupils dilated.
“You won’t admit it. And if I kissed you right now, you’d push me
away.” Uncovering her mouth, I brushed my thumb over her plump, full
lips. “But you want it, don’t you?”
The room was dimly lit, any source of light behind me, not touching
Maria. My shadows adored her, bringing out her chocolate-colored hair and
gold-tan skin. I could feel her tits, underneath the T-shirt and bra, brushing
against my dress-shirt, every time her chest rose and fell with shallow
breaths.
I watched the blush grow on her cheeks, her eyes dropping back to my
lips. We were so close I only needed to tip my head to swallow her bottom
lip.
Instead, I pushed off her. Let’s see how she liked being denied.
“Don’t flirt with my men again. I won’t hesitate to kill them.” I threw
one more glance at the corpse. I chuckled, shaking my head and rubbing a
thumb over my lip. I couldn’t wait to see how she was going to handle this
one. Francesca would go crazy for ruining her decor pillows. “Have fun.”
I walked out, but I barely made it into the hallway when she stepped in
front of me. Before I could understand what she was doing, her hands were
on my chest, my muscles immediately tensing under her touch.
My pulse hammered when she slid her palms down my body, digging
her sharp nails into me through my shirt; so slow. A low rumble of
satisfaction escaped my chest. This was the first time she was touching me,
not the opposite.
I glanced at her hands on my chest, before refocusing on her face,
meeting her gaze.
When one of her hands went to the back of my neck, running her
fingers through my short hair and scratching my nape with her long
stilettos… Fuck.
It was so intense it knocked the fucking logic out of me. I could feel my
eyes burning her skin with every look.
Stepping closer, she wrapped her other hand around my neck too.
Warmth enveloped my body, and I honestly couldn’t tell which one of us
was burning more.
“Zach…”
Damn.
“Don’t leave me to deal with your mess.”
I scoffed, looking over her head, and attempting to push her away. I
honestly didn’t know what I was expecting, yet it bothered me nonetheless.
But she pulled me right back, pressing herself against my abs and
regaining my full attention.
Shit… She was addictive.
Dark eyes locked on mine again and I ran my tongue over my teeth,
refusing to touch her. Her hands were all over me, yet mine hung by my
side.
“If you help me,” She negotiated, “I will go on that date with you.”
“How can I trust anything you say?”
She opened her mouth confidently, yet nothing came out. Slowly, she
closed it. “You can’t…”
We stared at each other for several moments, her eyes melting into my
own.
With a small shake of my head, a low breath escaped me. “A’ight.”
 Throwing my arm around Maria, I slumped down on the couch,
ignoring the daggers she shot at me with her eyes. Instead, I joined Trevor
and some other guys’ conversation.
Couple minutes later, Trevor threw a glance at Maria, speaking low
enough only for me to hear. “Losing focus, I see.”
He’d been right from the beginning about why I’d been so obsessed
with finding her. The fucker was always right.
I shrugged. “At least I went for it.”
His eyes darkened.
We both knew there was something in this very room that he wanted,
yet for some unknown reason, refused to take.
I turned my head, watching Maria talk with her friends while she
leaned comfortably into my side.
God, what am I going to do with you?

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 31

Present
A LOT HAD CHANGED SINCE Maria walked into that nightclub two
months ago.
Lines had blurred. And I didn’t know what I wanted anymore.
First, I drove her home after Francesca’s birthday party. And what the
fuck did she do before she closed her apartment door in my face? She
kissed me on the goddamn cheek.
Just like that.
Mwah.
Out of habit, I brought my palm up to my face, touching my skin which
now felt somehow different.
But then, of course, she fucking disappeared for a whole week.
Despite not wanting to admit it, I went nuts wondering why she wasn’t
picking up my calls or accepting the flowers I was sending.
Until she showed up earlier tonight at a bodega I owned, on a corner in
the Bronx – a cover for entry to underground tunnels all over the city used
for all kinds of illegal activities. And of course, she killed Juan or whatever
the fuck the rat’s name was.
The silent drive to the diner, and the argument afterward…
Maria running away and falling into the East River…
Me jumping after her…
I ran a hand down my face, taking a deep breath. Tonight could’ve
ended bad; really fucking bad. At least, now we were safe at my penthouse.
Images from the shower with Maria flashed back in my mind. Naked.
So naked…
 My dick got hard just thinking about it. I’d walked out before I did
anything stupid, but now I couldn’t help but regret leaving. Maybe I
should’ve stayed. She sure as fuck hadn’t wanted me to leave. Why was I
acting like some kind of gentleman? I was the furthest thing from that. But
after tonight… It felt wrong. She would kill me if she heard me saying this,
but she looked vulnerable. Cold. Wet. Tired.
I was an asshole but I’d never take advantage of a woman.
While she was still finishing up, I ordered takeout from the couch in
my grand living room. Soft blues played on the speakers and only a few
lamps were turned on, enough light already coming from the gold, sparkling
city on the other side of the floor-to-ceiling windows.
I could’ve let her drown tonight. But I didn’t.
Everything had changed. Everything was different. I even cared about
what she had to say and shit. ME. I mean, what the fuck?
When I heard her footsteps enter the room, I stood and turned to her. “I
ordered Chinese food– What are you doing?”
My eyes scanned her body, taking in the plastic bag she was holding in
her hand. She was wearing one of my T-shirts and pair of sweatpants, and
they looked way baggier than her usual baggy clothes.
I’d changed out of my usual suit, into black sweatpants and shirt. While
the same size T-shirt hugged my muscular frame, accentuating my large
biceps and shoulders, it looked five times too big for Maria. I was guessing
the sweatpants she’d burrowed were rolled multiple times underneath her
shirt in order to stay on.
“Thank you for everything but I need to get home.”
I watched her without saying anything, as she refused to look at me.
After everything… She was leaving me?
“Thank you for… Saving my life tonight, but–”
“But you’re leaving.”
She was leaving me.
“Yes.” She finally met my eyes.
I scoffed, running a hand down my face and chuckling. Walking
towards her, I closed the distance between us. She swallowed, tilting her
head up to meet my eyes.
Leaning down until I was on her level, I felt the dark smirk on my lips.
“You’re not leaving like this.”
 “I’ll wash these and give them back to you.” She gritted her teeth.
Guess we were back to the cat-and-mouse game.
Frustration replaced my amusement. “You think this is about the
clothes?”
She cocked her head. “What else would it be about?” When she tried to
push past me, I stepped in front of her. “Get out of my way.”
I stepped even closer. “Not until you get out of my head.”
Anger oozed off both of us. We stared each other straight in the eye as
the tension built, our breathing growing heavier. I could see the flames in
her eyes and feel the fire in mine.
I snapped.
Grabbing the back of her neck, I kissed her so deep and so rough I was
drowning in her.

My world had tilted on its axis.

The air felt thicker and my clothes heavier. The room was spinning and
all I could smell was her.
Despite the force with which I had smashed my lips against hers, they
tingled. My chest felt lighter. And I thought I was going crazy.
She was driving me crazy.
At first, she didn’t kiss me back – just tensed and stilled completely,
probably too confused or surprised to reciprocate. Yet she didn’t push me
away.
My irritation came back. She wasn’t letting her guard down. She wasn’t
letting me in.
But then my grip on the back of her neck tightened as I grazed my teeth
on her bottom lip and her lips parted with a gasp. I used the opportunity to
dip my tongue into her mouth and savor every feel of her. She tasted
fucking amazing.
I grazed her tongue with mine once.
Twice.
After the third, she melted into me. Her hands shot up and went into my
hair, fisting and tugging.
 I groaned against her lips and she moaned into the kiss, vibrations
surrounding my tongue. A dark hunger took over and I lost myself in her as
fire ignited throughout me.
I roamed over her body, trying to remember every curve. My hand went
messily into her hair and I tugged her head back to kiss her deeper. While
her hands dropped to the sides of my neck, mine lowered to her ass. I
gripped her over the sweatpants material, digging my fingers in harshly and
pulling her into my body.
My hands flowed around her waist and to the front of the sweatpants,
ready to untie them. My dick was painfully hard and I couldn’t wait to fuck
her brains out.
I had no idea who she’d been with before me, but I was determined to
make her forget them forever. To fuck her so good until she was a mess and
all she could do was chant my name; over and over again.
Maria’s hands let go of my neck and forcefully gripped my hands,
keeping them in place. Slowly, I stopped the kiss and pulled away slightly,
to look at her.
"Do you want me to stop?" My voice came out raspy as we both
breathed hard. I wanted her to want me. In my fantasies, she was only
screaming my name in pleasure.
She didn’t answer, only bit her lip and looked down at my hands on her
body. She wasn’t scared or uncomfortable. She was… nervous.
I gripped her waist in my palms, my fingers almost connecting over my
T-shirt which she was wearing. Red desire flooded me at the sight of my
clothes on her.
"Let me make you feel good.”
Finally, she looked up, meeting my eyes. A dark, twisted satisfaction
spread through me when I saw the fire in her gaze – more than I’d ever seen
before. And it was all because of me.
I leaned down and kissed her again.
Her hands relaxed and went back to my neck as she kissed me back
equally hungry. I waited for another moment before I allowed my hands to
wander back to her lower back and underneath the sweatpants, to her ass.
I groaned into the kiss when I found her bare ass cheeks, before
grabbing her roughly and biting her lip, slightly pissed off at how hot she
was.
 Maria pulled away, bringing her hand up to her lip, and gave me an
angry look.
I ignored her and instead pulled her sweatpants down. Hard. But only
halfway down her hips.
I glanced down, glad to see what I’d be dying to: the band of a tiny red
thong. This time there were no restrictions and I could look at her as much
as I wanted. A deep noise of approval escaped my chest and my hand
traveled back up, leaving goosebumps on her arms.
Slowly, my hand wrapped around her neck. Gently. I squeezed softly.
"So that's what you've been hiding under there this whole time?” I
drawled, masking the excitement expanding in my pants.
I raised an eyebrow but Maria remained silent. I gave her a chance and
she’d wasted it.
At her lack of expressiveness, I fisted the collar of her T-shirt, and
ripped it down the middle and off her body.
She gasped – music to my ears – and immediately raised her hands to
cover up from me. But my eyes never left hers.
I kissed her again. Softer this time, wanting to indulge in her taste and
feel.
My kissing became sloppier as I began leaving butterfly kisses on the
corner of her mouth, down her neck and the middle of her chest.
However, she wouldn’t drop her hands. I didn’t want to force them
down, so I returned to kissing her mouth and I gently placed my hands over
hers. Slowly, I pulled them down and settled them on my biceps.
Pulling back, I saw her cheeks a deep shade of pink. She was bare in
front of me. More vulnerable than she’d ever been before. I was aware, and
I wasn’t being inconsiderate.
I slowly lowered my gaze to take her in for the very first time, and my
mouth went dry. I swallowed, unsure how to deal with my desire which was
so strong it was fucking with my head.
Perfect, round tits with small, tan nipples. They looked painfully hard
and I gently brought my hands up to try lessen the tension. I held her firm in
my rough hands before rubbing my thumbs over her diamond peeks. She
immediately jolted back from the friction.
I lowered my hands to her waist and gave her one more kiss before
dropping my head to her chest. I left a trail of butterfly kisses on her
collarbone and the top of her tits, before going down her cleavage to her
stomach. Soft pants left Maria’s lips and I had to fight the urge to go faster
and rougher. But I was intentionally avoiding her most sensitive parts. I
wasn’t going to give her what she wanted just yet.
I was going to take my time and drive her just as crazy as she had me.
I wanted to take my time the first time. Enjoy every single moment.
Lowering one knee, I continued kissing down her stomach, below her
stomach and over the band of her panties.
Without warning, I pulled down her sweatpants the rest of the way and
kissed her center over the damp thong material. I couldn’t stop a smirk from
upturning my lips at the sight of how wet she was – for me.
Maria twitched at the contact and immediately grabbed onto my
shoulders for support. How sensitive was she?
I glanced up at her to see her breathing hard, blushing and watching me
with so much desire it was burning my skin. Her hair was in her face and
she looked down at me, waiting for my next move.
Without breaking eye contact, I darted my tongue out and did a long
lick from her entrance to her clit, over the thong material. A shudder ripped
through her, yet neither dared to look away or close their eyes.
I turned my head slightly to the side and dug my teeth into the inside of
her thigh before kissing down her leg as I pulled her out of the sweatpants,
fully undressing her.
I stood up straight, back to my full height, and looked down at Maria.
She looked up at me, this time not attempting to cover herself anymore. But
I could still tell she was nervous by the strong blush on her cheeks. My dick
twitched in response and I couldn’t shake off the satisfaction of getting a
physical reaction out of her.
I watched her for another moment as our breathing synced, before
dipping my head to her neck and grabbing her ass. As I pulled her into me, I
bit her pulse point and sucked, making sure to leave a mark. She rubbed my
large shoulders and biceps in response, and I couldn’t resist: my hand
landed on her ass with a slap before grabbing the back of her thighs and
lifting her up.
Her legs wrapped around me, and for the first time, she kissed me
freely, exploring my jawline and neck as I carried her to my bedroom.
 Our breathing began to calm, my chest rising and falling slower under
her body. Her soft hands laid on my chest as she rested her cheek on my
shoulder. My arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her close, and
our skin glistened with sweat in the early morning. I turned my head to the
alarm clock: almost five in the morning. We’d been at it for hours now and
I’d lost count of how many times we’d done it.
Maria pushed up, her long nails slightly digging into my pecks.
Without realizing what I was doing, my hand came up to brush a strand of
hair out of her face. She slowly looked up, meeting my eyes, her gaze
softening into mine. We simply looked at each other for a moment and
something pierced my chest, almost as if it was cracking me open.
But then, she looked away and rolled off me. I faltered for a second,
then reached after her and grabbed her wrist. She looked at me over her
shoulder. I had her attention again, but something had changed. The air had
shifted.
I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I didn’t want to scare her, and
talking about what had just happened would surely trigger the alarm bells in
her head. I had figured her out to this point, I could figure her out the rest of
the way…
When she didn’t say anything, I simply raised an eyebrow, allowing her
to direct the conversation.
"I need to clean myself up."
And I didn't?
I didn’t press further, just nodded. Maybe she really just needed some
space before coming back to bed so we could talk.
I watched her walk away and out into the hallway. I should’ve known it
right then, when she didn’t use my ensuite bathroom.
Yet, I hoped she’d come back to me.
Falling back down on the bed, I chuckled at the fucking irony. The best
sex of my life had been with a virgin who didn't even let me touch her
pussy underneath her panties.
Fuck, I was hot for this girl.
If any other hook-up would've told me I couldn't put my dick inside
her, I would've dropped her on her ass and found another who would. But
with her, it didn't bother me the slightest because it was so much more.
With her, it was different. I couldn’t explain it. In fact, I was already hard
again and all I could think about was what part of her body I wanted to
come onto next.
But then a soft ding went off and I closed my eyes in defeat – the
fucking elevator.
None of it mattered. She didn't come back.
Running a hand down my face, I reached for my phone and sat up on
the edge of the bed, making a call.
“Follow her home. Make sure she’s safe.”

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 32

Present
“I TOLD YOU TO SCARE her. Not kill her.”
The man hanging by chains in front of me from the ceiling grunted,
blood spilling down his body and dripping steadily into a pool on the
cement floor.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
After Maria ran away from the diner, I had one of my soldiers tag after
her on foot while I took the car. Somehow, the idiot thought throwing her
over the edge was a great fucking idea.
I had another great fucking idea. Slicing his cock off with a machete
and shoving it down his throat, before cutting his stomach open and feeding
him the rest of his intestines.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I only pulled it out halfway before
seeing who it was and replying.
Hermosa: Are you on the way?
Me: Yes baby
Me: See you in half an hour
Hermosa: *kissing emoji*
I smiled, closing my phone and putting it back in my pocket.
If I wasn’t about to be late to see her, I would’ve slit this guy open and
fed him to the dogs still alive. Instead, I shot him in the head and washed
my hands.
 I’d now killed three men because of Maria, and all I could do was
smirk at my handiwork in the dirty, basement mirror.
Using a wet cloth, I washed off any blood that had splattered onto my
body, then put on a fresh, black shirt and threw my suit jacket over. I
headed out, fixing my collar and watch.
Pushing the basement metal door open, I turned to the two men waiting
outside. “Clean it up.”
“Yes, Boss.”
I jogged up the stairs, the only light provided by a single lightbulb in
the whole cement underground structure. Pushing the fire exit door open, I
rushed to my G-wagon, glancing at the sparkling city skyline on the other
far side of the river.
Maria finished her shift at Renato at two in the morning, and I was
supposed to pick her up. I checked the time: twenty past one in the morning
– still had time.
Speeding out of the rundown parking lot, I made my way out of the
industrial side of Brooklyn and rushed to Manhattan. That early in the
morning, the roads were clear.
A week had passed since the bridge incident.
I didn’t think twice before jumping after her into complete darkness.
But it took way longer to find her than I would’ve liked to admit. I
couldn’t see shit. My chest was spasming as I ran out of oxygen and tension
built behind my eyes. I was frantically moving my hands through the water,
blindly searching in the dark silence for any sign of her. Nothing. I started
panicking. It wasn’t meant to end like that. I needed air, but I wasn’t going
back up without Maria. I started seeing weird shapes and for a moment I
thought that was it; we would both die down there, searching for each other.
But then something brushed my hand and I felt her. I gripped her wrist in
the dark, feeling her watch and nails, and I fought my way to the surface.
The way she clung to me as I swam both of us to the shore… Fuck. I
felt my chest rip in half. I thought I’d wanted to see her weak, but I
regretted it all. I wanted her strong. I wanted her fearless. I wanted her to be
a force.
Are you hurt?
Holding her face in my hands once we made it onto land, and seeing
how glad she was to see me… It altered the chemicals in my brain and I
somehow only wanted to see her look at me like that.
 Almost losing her in that dark abyss…
I feared nothing. I begged for nothing and no one.
But for the first time in my life, I’d been terrified. And I would’ve
begged any God or supreme being if it meant they’d bring her back.
Just the idea of her in pain, let alone dead, brought an overwhelming
amount of fear to my chest and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
I pulled into Renato’s underground parking ten minutes early. Once I
got to the bar, I looked around but couldn’t find Maria. She was probably
getting her stuff from the back, so I ordered a drink and sat at one of the
booths to wait for her.
I circled my glass, thinking of the past three months. The past two
years.
I wasn’t sure the exact moment it happened, but I’d fallen for her. Hard.
Four days had passed since I’d finally won her over and earned the
boyfriend title. The corner of my mouth tipped up slightly just thinking
about it.
That’s not all there is between us and you know it.
Does this feel like nothing?
Only you do this to me, hermosa.
Give us a shot, baby.
I’m your first and last.
Maybe it was the way she understood me to a point that nobody else
did, how the mere mention of her name brought a smile to my face, or just
the way she looked at me.
Those goddamn eyes would be the death of me.
She was always meant to be with me. Nothing else could explain the
raging need inside me to never let her leave me; even if she hated me for it.
But the most fucked up part about all of this? I actually understood her.
She was an assassin. It was her job – well, used to be – to get paid for
killing, no questions asked. What happened years ago wasn’t personal. She
didn’t actually want me dead; she was just doing her job.
Anyway, she didn’t remember me. So what was the harm?
She liked me… I more than liked her… What was the worst that could
happen?
Plus, it’d been over two years; almost three. Maybe I should take
Trevor’s advice and move on; get over it.
 “Hi, excuse me, I’m looking for my boyfriend.” A hand touched my
shoulder, bringing me out of my thoughts. “Have you seen him anywhere?”
“Depends.” I smirked, placing the glass down. “What does this
boyfriend of yours look like?”
Maria’s silky hair flowed over my suit as she leaned down, her lips
brushing my ear. “Tall. Strong. Dark hair. Looks like he could kill you;
could kill you.” She kissed my jaw, her hand holding onto my bicep. “But
he’s just sooooo handsome.”
Grabbing her waist, I pulled her onto my lap. Her hands wrapped
around my neck and I tightened my arms around her. She sighed into the
kiss, running her nails through my hair, massaging my scalp–
Fuck, I loved when she did that.
I groaned against her lips and she pulled back, leaning her forehead
against mine and laughing softly. My hand came up, cupping her face as I
stared into her beautiful eyes.
A pain shot through my chest as I remembered what I thought I’d
wanted to do to her for the past two years. I couldn’t even think about it
anymore or I’d have a heart attack.
I nodded towards the exit. “Let’s go.”
She hopped off my lap and I took her hand as we made our way out.
“How was your shift?” I asked once we were alone in the elevator.
“Ugh.” She groaned, leaning against me in a hug.
That usually meant someone had pissed her off. Probably her manager.
Louise was always stirring shit up.
“I’m a girls’ girl, but Louise can be a real dick,” She mumbled into my
chest.
“You know you don’t have to keep working–”
“Zachary Rafael Di’Ablo.”
Oh oh.
She slapped my suit jacket before pointing a finger at me. “If you tell
me that one more time–”
I raised my hands in defense. “Okay, okay. I understand. I’ll let it go.”
The elevator dinged and I took her hand again as we walked to the car.
We’ll discuss it down the line.
Half an hour later, we were taking the lift up to her apartment. It was
almost three in the morning, so I wasn’t staying over. I’d let her get some
rest and see her when the sun was back up.
 We made it to her door, and I waited as she unlocked it and walked
inside, but before I could say anything, she stepped back out into the hall.
“About that date…”
I couldn’t stop a smile from upturning my lips. She still owed me a
date. How could I forget?
“I’ll pick you up at five. Wear something nice,” I added with a wink,
and she rolled her eyes.
Looking up at me, she gave me a soft smile. “Good night, Zach…”
Fuck.
Hearing my name pour from her lips like that, did things to me. I’d
desperately wanted her to say my name. But now that she was, I wasn’t sure
it was the best idea.
Before I did something stupid, I leaned down, kissed the top of her
head and backed away. I received one more shy smile before she
disappeared into her apartment, locking the door behind.
I used to think that I had to break Maria in order to get through to the
real her. I was wrong. I had to make her trust me.

I adjusted my tie as I made my way down the hall to Maria’s door;

bouquet of glittered pink roses in hand. I’d learned those were her favorites
after hacking into her Pinterest account.
I glanced at my Rolex: four-thirty. I’d never been early for anything in
my life before. The first and second time I knocked, no one answered. After
the third, the door flew open, revealing a pissed-off Maria.
She had a white fluffy robe wrapped around her and a towel in her hair.
Her makeup was done; slightly more intense than usual but heavenly
nonetheless.
Her brows furrowed as she continued to death-stare me. “You’re early.”
“You gon’ let me in, hermosa?”
We looked at each other for a few moments. If she said ‘no’, I was
going to pick her up and force my way in. She sighed and moved to the
side. I walked into the living room and looked around, like I hadn’t already
seen her floor plans.
 Maria rushed past me. “Wait here!” She disappeared into her bedroom.
“And don’t touch anything!”
I followed behind her and leaned against the doorframe. She sat down
at her vanity, applying something on her cheeks. Knowing I was going to
make her blush throughout the night, I wasn’t sure why she was putting
pink powder on her face.
Her eyes met mine in the mirror.
“I thought I asked you to wait in the living room?”
I stepped in and sat on the edge of her bed, resting my forearms on my
knees. Her eyes followed me but she didn’t tell me to leave. I more than
liked tearing down her walls one at a time.
She ignored me as I continued to watch her do her hair and put on
jewelry. I more than liked that she was getting ready for me. And I couldn’t
wait to see what she was going to wear. I knew it would be baggy because
that was her style, but it still threatened to give me a hard-on.
“Are you seriously going to make me change in the bathroom?” Maria
asked, bringing me out of my thoughts. My eyes unintentionally ran over
her body and I couldn’t help but wonder what she was hiding under that
robe. Was she naked or wearing lingerie?
“I’ll be on the couch,” I said, getting up.
“That’s so nice of you.” Her voice was laced with sarcasm.
When she walked past me, I couldn’t help myself; I pulled her into me.
She didn’t react, trying to look unbothered. But when I pulled her robe
down one shoulder and dipped my head in the crook of her neck, she
gasped. I inhaled deeply, savoring the scent of her perfume and shampoo, as
my lips grazed her smooth skin. A tortured, restrained groan left my chest.
“You smell so fucking good…” My voice came out raspy; darker than
usual.
The softest sigh left her. So soft, I almost missed it.
When I pulled back, Maria didn’t remove her hands from where they’d
been resting on my chest. I glanced down to see her long sharp nails a
medium nude instead of the crimson she had on earlier.
I grabbed her hands, running my thumbs over her manicured fingers.
“Did you go to the salon today?”
“Yeah.”
“All of this for me?” I smirked, raising a brow at her.
She scoffed. “Arrogant much?”
 She’d been to the salon just last week; she didn’t need to go again.
She’d done it for me.
She bit her bottom lip when I brought her hands up to my face and
placed a kiss on her knuckles.
“Tell me the next time you go. I take care of it from now on.”
I’d never had a girlfriend, so I never cared about this shit before. But if
Maria was going to be my girl, and she thought she would pay for herself,
she was crazy. Her money was her money, and my money was her money.
She gave me a doubtful look, as if she thought I was kidding.
I stepped closer and cupped her chin. I didn’t say anything because I
didn’t need to. We looked at each other, battling with our eyes. Hers usually
made me give in, but it wasn’t going to happen this time. I was firm on it.
When she saw I wouldn’t budge on the subject, she sighed but still
didn’t look away. “Let’s see how tonight goes first.”
I only smirked.
“Can I change now?” She asked after a moment of silence, crossing her
arms. I more than liked her little attitude.
In response, before walking out, I leaned down and kissed the top of
her head. The door closed behind me and I chuckled, thinking of what her
reaction must have looked like.
Ten minutes later, I was on the couch when I heard the quiet click of a
door shut somewhere behind me. I stood, buttoning my suit jacket as I
turned around.
The smug look I had on my face disappeared when I saw her.
It was like time froze me in place while she slowly descended towards
me.
Her heels echoed in the silence as my lips parted in awe. When she
stopped a few inches in front of me, she raised one manicured hand and
pushed my jaw up with one finger, closing my mouth.
Her glossy lips turned into a playful smile. She knew exactly what she
was doing to me. I’m not sure what I expected her to come out wearing –
maybe something fancy and slightly loose – but it wasn’t this.
Maria was wearing a skin-tight nude dress that went all the way to her
ankles. The color of her dress matched her nails, heels and bag – a light
brown, slightly darker than her tan skin. Her jewelry was gold, matching
her outfit. I allowed my eyes to roam over her body. The dress hugged her
in all the right places, accentuating every curve; she looked like she’d been
sawn into it. Her waist imitated an hourglass and her cleavage was perfectly
proportionate to her body.
Well, fuck me sideways.
I’d seen her naked. I knew she had an amazing body. I could tell even
before, by the way it moved underneath her baggy clothes. But holy shit,
this was better than I’d ever imagined. Better than any fucking centerfold
I’d ever seen. I could already feel myself getting hard.
Her chocolate hair was pin straight, all the way down to her waist. I
couldn’t wait to wrap my fist around it. Run my fingers through it. Pull and
tag at it.
I refocused on her face, paying attention to every detail. Her skin was
flawless, her cheeks slightly peachy, her brows perfectly shaped and her lips
round and glossy. The most attention was on her eyes: black softly outlined
them, and there was a mix of browns and gold on the lids. Long, dark lashes
fanned over her emerald eyes. She looked like a goddess.
Rubbing my hand over my jaw, I took a step back to take a better look
at her.
“Fuck,” I breathed out, not able to look away.
It was then I knew I never wanted to fuck another woman. After seeing
her like this, I’d never get hard again without thinking of her.
I was fucked.
Maria raised an eyebrow at me and tilted her head, but didn’t step
forward. I closed the distance between us and looked at my hands as I
gripped her waist. Our eyes met when I drew my gaze back to her face, and
it was like a sledgehammer hit me in the chest. Her gaze melted in mine,
and warm liquid spread in my chest.
When the intensity got too much, Maria cleared her throat. “So?”
I smiled. “There’s a reason I call you hermosa.” I leaned in and placed
a soft kiss on her lips, before pulling back. “You look beautiful, baby.”
She bit her lip to stop from smiling as she wiped her lipstick off my lips
with her thumb. “Should we go?”
“One more thing.” I dug into my pocket, pulling out a fancy black box,
tied with a white bow. “For you.”
She slowly took it from me, opening it to see the twenty-four-karat gold
bracelet I’d bought months ago. It was about fucking time I gave it to her.
Her finger brushed over the charm of the devil and angel embracing.
“It’s like you and me,” I murmured, suddenly feeling nervous. “Us.”
 Her eyes met mine. “Zach… It’s beautiful.”
“May I?” When she nodded, I took her wrist and clipped the bracelet
on. I ran my thumb over it, admiring the gold against her tan skin. The
confession escaped me. “I bought it after your other one broke. Not sure
why I didn’t give it to you sooner.”
Her arms wrapped around my neck, my hands settling on her hips.
“Thank you.” Her lips brushed mine before falling into a deeper kiss.
I squeezed her waist tighter. Now that I finally had her in the palms of
my hands, I was never letting her go.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 33

Present
STEAM FILLED THE LUXURIOUS BATHROOM, fogging up the
mirrors and glass walls of the shower. I closed the clear door behind me,
stepping under the hot water. As I ran a hand through my wet hair, I allowed
my eyes to wander over Maria’s body.
She leaned against the black-marble wall in front of me – wet, naked,
hot – her hands behind her back, allowing me full view of her hourglass
body. Her chocolate hair, matted to the sides of her face, cascaded down her
shoulders to her waist. She’d already showered while waiting for me to join
her. I’d been replacing the bedsheets, counting down the seconds till I could
be with her again.
I knew I shouldn’t have done it. A good man wouldn’t have.
The same way, I shouldn’t have joined her in the shower after the
bridge incident, or kissed her for the first time on the same night. She didn’t
know the truth, and because I was falling deeper and deeper for her, guilt
began to eat away at my chest.
I wanted to tell her. It was why I didn’t jump at the opportunity to sleep
with her, despite dying to have her in every sense of the word. I tried to
convince her it was too late; that she’d feel different in the morning. But
when the word ‘please’ left her lips…
The sharp comebacks. The strong personality. The soft, loving glances.
I wanted her. All of her.
And fuck if I’d let some stupid mistake come between us.
The red-blooded, primal part resurfaced, telling me I was the one she
gave her first everything to. The memory of it and how tight she was
flooded heat into my chest, sending my blood boiling to the surface of my
skin.
“Come here,” I rasped, stepping out from underneath the water and
towards her. Maria pushed off the wall and my hand went to the back of her
neck, sliding up into her hair, as I pulled her into me. The kiss muffled both
of our groans.
My lips met hers with the type of desperation only someone who’d
finally gotten a taste of Heaven after years of misery would understand.
The girl whose siren-green eyes were my envision of death, had now
become my paradise. My own personal sanctuary from this fucked-up
world.
Regardless of her profession, she brought me an unsettling amount of
peace and tranquility which I felt all the way into my fucking bones. Just
thinking about her clouded my thoughts with comfort. And God help me, I
never wanted to fucking leave…
I kept walking until her back hit the marble again, before propping my
hands on the wall, caging her in between my large arms. Water dripped
from my hair as I leaned down to meet her bewitching eyes. I was close,
only leaving a few inches between us.
“You’re mine,” I gave a slow nod of my head to make sure my promise
was coming across crystal clear. I’d seen it in her eyes that she was trying to
hide feeling vulnerable.
Although ultimately inevitable, what we’d just done was irreversible.
There was no going back now, and I couldn’t have been gladder for the
fact.
I was her first – had been her first everything. And now she was mine
in almost every sense of the word. I wanted nothing more than to show her
just that by putting her in every intimate position imaginable.
The twisted part was that I knew she’d take all of me with a smile on
her face and thank me when I was done.
We were both in so fucking deep, neither knew nor wanted to know the
way up.
She watched me with equal intensity as her hands absently grabbed
onto the sides of my body for support. When she licked her lips, my eyes
dropped to follow the innocent yet sensual move.
Perfection lined every single aspect and characteristic of her, and I
suddenly felt slightly guilty for disturbing her aura with my dark presence.
But then her gaze warmed me again, from the depths of my soul, and any
barely existing morals left my body.
I would make this girl want me. So bad it became a fucking need. Until
she ached when I wasn’t sinking deep inside her, worshipping every inch of
her beautiful body. Maybe then, I’d have a chance at convincing her to stay.
Either way, leaving wasn’t a choice for her anymore.
You’re mine.
My vow still echoed around us, the eye contact only dragging it out
longer.
“Does that scare you?” My voice came out steady, masking the
untamable psychotic urges beneath my inked skin.
Her nails dug into the side of my ribs a little deeper. “No.”
“Good.” Leaning in, I bit her neck possessively. “You’re mine whether
you like it or not, hermosa.”
She reached up on her toes, her words a whisper in my ear. “Prove it.”
I smiled against her skin, my brows furrowing as I dipped my face
deeper into her neck, taking in her heavenly scent.
I kneeled for no one.
Not for my family. Not for forgiveness. Not for mercy.
But the one reason that could’ve gotten me on my knees, was her.
It was a dangerous concept; knowing a man like me, who wasn’t a
stranger to the wrong side of the law, would do anything for her.
My hands flowed down her waist as I lowered to one knee.
“Zach–”
Before she could say anything, my arms went under her legs, lifting her
up and settling her thighs on my shoulders. She gasped, her hands shooting
out to me for support.
I kissed her lower stomach then bit the inside of her thigh, and her nails
went into my hair. I inhaled deeply, running my nose along her slit, and a
dark rumble of satisfaction formed in my chest.
Finally, I dived into the best meal of my life; licking and sucking at her
clit with sloppy kisses. Fast, heavy breathing filled the bathroom before she
threw her head back against the shower wall, moaning and biting her
bottom lip.
I couldn’t hold back; she cried out when I switched from her clit to her
tight entrance and started fucking her with my tongue. My fingers dug into
her thighs as she squeezed them around my head.
 When it got too much, she pulled at my hair. “Zach…”
I pulled back slightly, dropping one of her legs from my shoulders and
allowing her to relax just for a moment. I pushed one finger inside her,
curling it up and hitting her G-spot. Her walls tightened around me like a
vice.
“Fuck,” She groaned, dropping her head back, and rolling her eyes
along with her hips.
“Even your pussy is perfect, hermosa.” I lowered my head and closed
my lips around her clit, sucking, as I pumped in and out of her. She moaned
louder, rolling her hips into me, her thighs tensing.
A cry escaped her when my hand moved from her thigh to her ass,
digging my fingers roughly into her. She came so hard, her wetness dripped
down my hand as I kept fingering her, dragging out her orgasm.
When her legs started twitching, I pulled back, biting her thigh before
lowering it. “So pink and wet for me…” I slapped her ass hard, growling
when I felt it bounce so much, her thighs shook from the movement too.
Maria held onto me for support as I raised to my full height, hovering
over her as the hot water hit us from above. My hand went into her hair, the
other gripping her waist, pulling her into me.
“But your face, baby… That’s my favorite.”
She moaned into the kiss when I pressed my mouth to hers, swallowing
her whimpers. Slowly, I walked forward, pushing her back into the shower
marble wall. I moved one hand under her knee, her other leg circling my
waist as I held her up with one hand.
Her hands held onto my neck, our gazes never leaving the other while I
positioned myself to her entrance. She gasped when the head of my cock
touched her heat.
“I love watching your eyes when I fuck you. It’s like I’m hypnotized or
some shit.”
With one long, slow stroke, I pushed all the way inside, filling her up to
her limit. She groaned, her nails digging into my shoulders. She couldn’t
take all of me yet, but I’d work at it until no inch of my cock was left out.
Slowly, I pulled out until only the head of my cock was still inside her,
and then rolled my hips, grinding back deep inside her.
“Oh, fuck,” She moaned, her eyes rolling.
I did it again. And again and again.
“Zach… I’m so full…”
 I leaned in, brushing my lips over hers, as my hands stroked her thighs.
“I know, baby.”
“But you feel so good.”
Goddamn…
Rolling my hips over and over, I lowered my head and nipped her neck.
“Ah–”
“You’re so hot it pisses me off.”
Her soft tits pressed against my hard chest, her breath hot on my cheek.
“You fuck me so good.” Her nails cut slashes across my back. “I want
more.”
I took a step closer to the wall, pressing her back against it, closed the
distance between our bodies, and fastened the pace. “I fucking love the way
you feel, hermosa.”
My front clapped against hers, my pelvis grinding against her clit as I
smashed in and out of her. Her arms tightened around me, holding on like I
was her only source of air.
“Shit, your pussy is squeezing me so tight.”
“You’re so big…”
I fucked her deeper.
“Zach… Oh, my God…”
Wrapping my arms around her body, I stepped away from the wall. I
held her up against me and bounced her on my erection. Hard.
She whimpered in my ear, her nails digging into my back. I fucked her
senseless, her tight heat around my cock like a vice. So wet, and I still felt
like I had to force my way every time I stroked inside her.
When she came, I swallowed her moans in a messy kiss as the shower
sprayed hot water above us. I didn’t stop bouncing her on my dick, forcing
her to ride out the orgasm until she was whimpering against my lips and her
legs were trembling.
My own pleasure curled at the base of my spine, and when I couldn’t
hold out any longer, I pulled out with a groan and came on her thigh. We
just stood there, her head in the crook of my neck, catching our breath.
Moments later, her hands were in my hair and her lips on my jaw, leaving
kisses everywhere.
I leaned in for one kiss, slapping her ass hard and making her moan in
my mouth before I set her back down on her feet. She swayed into me,
tightening her arms around my neck.
 Pushing up on her toes, she pulled us back together, catching my
bottom lip between hers. I tried to pull back but she wouldn’t let me.
“Zach… I want you.”
My hand went in her hair, tipping her head back. “God, hermosa,
you’re killing me.” My dick was already hard again, which only made her
smirk. I shook my head. “Aren’t you tired? Sore?”
Holding my face in her hands, she pulled me in and whispered against
my lips, “Never for you.”
I needed to end our shower and take her to bed. She might’ve been on a
sex high right now, but she’d feel the aftermath in the morning. I’d fucked
her hard – harder than I should’ve – and I already felt guilty enough. But,
God, she was addicting. If she kept being all over me like that, I wouldn’t
be able to control myself and end up fucking her again, even harder.
Her soft lips were on my cheek, and then I felt her teeth grazing along
my jaw. “I want you, Zach.” Her pretty nails went in my hair; she knew that
always drove me crazy. “Stop being a gentleman. It doesn’t suit you.”
I shut the water with one hand and wrapped the other around her throat.
Her palms settled on my abs when I leaned down to speak in her ear.
“You’ll be begging me to stop. But I won’t. I’ll keep going, fucking
that sweet pussy all I want, because it’s mine. You’ll feel me with every
move you make tomorrow and every day after. Walking around with an
ache between your legs because there’s not a night when I’m not deep
inside you, fucking your brains out.”
Her nails dug into my skin and I growled, opening the glass door. When
I slapped her ass, she quickly tiptoed out into the bathroom and I mentally
groaned at the sight of her from the back.
I followed behind, grabbing a towel and wiping the steam off the grand
mirror above the marble sink counter. I glanced to the side where she was
standing in the doorway to the bedroom, holding a towel to her chest. I had
other plans in mind; ones that didn’t involve a bed.
“Come here,” I rasped. She didn’t hesitate; biting her lip, she set the
towel down and stopped in front of me. “Turn around and spread your
legs.”
She did as told; hands grabbing the edge of the counter in anticipation.
Her eyes met mine in the mirror, watching me as I stepped behind her, my
body so much bigger than hers. One of my hands snaked around her body,
sliding up and closing around her throat, as my other grabbed her hip.
 Without warning, I slammed inside her, earning a surprised gasp. My
rough hands flowed over her silky skin, palming her breasts and pulling her
back flush to my chest. She was soaked, her wetness already dripping down
my dick. I kept my eyes on hers in the mirror as I massaged her tits, leaning
down to speak in her ear, “Tell me how bad you want me.”
She turned her face to me, her nose grazing my cheek. “So fucking
bad.”
I turned my face to hers too, our lips almost touching. But I pulled
away, straightening back to my full height and dropping my hands to my
side. “Then grind your ass back into me and show me.”
Maria glanced up at me over her shoulder, looking somewhat unsure.
I always dominated her in bed. Always had my hands on her. My lips
always kissing her, my teeth pulling and biting. My mouth always saying
some dirty words in her ear. I’d been so obsessed with her, I hadn’t even
given her a chance to touch me without losing control and taking over.
Her gaze dropped to where my pelvis pushed against her ass cheeks. I
slowly pulled out about halfway, giving her room to move. She licked her
lips and I wanted to bite them for her. But then, rolling her hips back, she
took my cock back inside her, before pulling away.
She sucked in a harsh breath, probably feeling my length even more
than usual in this position. Still, she rolled her hips back again, her pussy
squeezing me so hard, my palms itched to grab her hips and have my way
with her. After a few more tentative strokes, she gained momentum,
pushing up on her toes to take me deeper.
“Yeah, that’s it. Just like that, baby.” I groaned, fisting her long, wet
hair and moving it out of the way so I could watch my cock disappear in
and out of her.
She rolled her hips faster and I couldn’t hold back from slapping her
ass. I did it again and again until my cock was drenched and the bathroom
was filled with her moans.
“You’re such a good girl for me, hermosa,” I drawled, wrapping my
arms around her body and thrusting inside her. Her gasp morphed into a
moan, her head falling back on my chest.
Our eyes met in the mirror as one of my hands wrapped around her
throat, the other sliding down over her flat stomach and cupping her
between the legs. Holding her close to me, I fastened the pace, my hand
closing tighter around her throat. When my fingers circled her clit, she
turned to look at me over her shoulder.
My eyes dropped to her pouty lips, parted with silent cries as she
moved with each of my thrusts; I lowered my head, covering her mouth
with mine, as she came undone around me, her nails digging into the black-
marble counter.
Two hours later she was sitting on the same counter, with me between
her legs and my cock still deep inside her.
“I can’t again…” She leaned back on her hands, almost as if trying to
get space from me.
“Yeah, you can.” My hands gripped her slightly bruised hips as I
stroked inside her slowly. “One more, hermosa. I know you can for me.”
“Zach, please…” She moaned, throwing her head back, and I didn’t
think even she knew what she was begging me for. I’d made her finish so
many times even my own head was spinning.
My cum covered her thighs and ass, and a dark, twisted thought crossed
my mind. Don’t pull out. Desire washed over me, thinking of how one day
in the future she’ll be begging me to come inside her. Everything in good
time. Not yet.
I smirked darkly, changing the angle and making her jump with
overstimulation.
“You asked for it, baby.”

Probably due to the heat radiating off our bodies, my bedroom was
unusually hot for a summer night. A window was cracked open, the curtains
flowing lightly, letting in the warm breeze at seventy stories up. Distant
noise of traffic and sirens was carried in the dark room, yet the moon
provided enough light.
My hand was caressing Maria’s face, while the other arm supported my
head as I watched her. She was on her stomach, her forearms on my
abdomen, and we were both naked underneath the luxurious sheets. Moans
still echoed off the walls and the smell of sex lingered in the air, especially
after what we’d done in the ensuite bathroom.
 Now, we were talking about anything and everything just to drag the
night out longer. She’d just finished telling me about Louise from Renato –
who she’d thought was harmless – was actually stealing her tips. Anger
washed over me but I knew better than to suggest she quit her job altogether
and just let me take care of her. Of course, I wanted to financially provide
for her so she never had to worry about going to work or lifting another
finger again; unless she wanted to. Instead, I was going to compromise and
simply add her as an authorized user on my Black Amex.
“You can’t trust people, baby. They’re all two-faced, manipulative
pendejos who just want something from you.”
She laughed at my Spanglish. “Not everybody is like that.”
I smiled at her newfound optimism. “Oh yeah? And how would you
know that?”
She pressed her lips together before answering, her voice smooth and
soft. “You’re not like that…”
I looked at her for a moment before giving a small smile and kissing
her forehead. She returned the smile, laying her head on my chest and
snuggling closer to me. We didn’t talk anymore after that, and moments
later, she fell asleep in my arms, her body rising and falling softly with
every breath.
The golden bullet encrypted with the name ‘Angel’ burned in the pocket
of a suit inside my closet. She had no idea how long I’d been searching for
her. My chest grew tighter as light pain began spreading throughout my
body. My jaw clicked with tension, my mind working through every
possibility this could now go wrong. Though, one thing was clear: she could
never find out the truth.
My body was exhausted but my mind was wide awake. A multi-
million-dollar view of New York awaited on the other side of the floor-to-
ceiling windows if I had just turned my head to the side, but I couldn’t bring
myself to look away from Maria. The view of her sleeping peacefully on
my chest was priceless, and I quickly came to understand that she was the
most valuable thing in my life.
The worst had happened.
I loved the woman.
I was crazy in love with her.
Hugging her tighter to my chest, I kissed the top of her head. I’d known
the feeling for some time now, but it was in that exact moment I knew I’d
never let her go.
Not even if she tried to claw her way out of my arms.
I whispered into the dark, “I love you.”

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 34

Present
I PULLED ON MY TIE, loosening it, as I walked into the dark
apartment, heading straight for the master bedroom.
“You’re still awake?”
Maria glanced up at me from her book. She was lounging on my bed,
wearing the tiniest, tightest, white pajama set I’d ever seen. The cropped
tank top hugged her waist, her cleavage near popping out of the thin fabric.
The shorts molded around her hips, contrasting against her smooth, tan
skin. My chest warmed just at the sight of her still in my bed.
She smiled, shutting her book and shuffling to the edge of the bed.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
I stopped in front of her, my hand cupping the side of her face. “Missed
me?”
“Yeah.” She breathed softly, leaning into my touch.
My hand went into her hair as I leaned down, capturing her top lip
between mine, kissing her with a sweet pull. Her tits pressed against my abs
as her hands held onto my belt for support.
“What’s wrong?”
“Tired.”
Exhausted. Three shipments had come in tonight from South America.
Matteo was supposed to handle two for me while I took the third and made
sure other things went smoothly. Of course, in classic Matteo-style, he
randomly flew to Vegas with Tony to gamble. I appreciated my brother for
sacrificing everything when we were kids, but whenever he flaked on me
like this – it fucked with my whole day.
 I brushed my lips against hers one more time, before pulling away and
heading for the bathroom. “Gon’ take a shower.”
Once I came back, I pulled on a pair of grey sweatpants and threw
myself on the bed next to Maria. Relaxing into the pillows, my eyes closed,
I threw an arm around her waist only for it to fall flat against the mattress.
But then, I felt her sit on my lower back. I didn’t tweak until she pulled
the band of my sweatpants lower.
I raised a brow over my shoulder. “What are you doing?”
“Relax. I’m not going to peg you,” She muttered, spreading lotion over
my back.
I chuckled; the sound muffling into the pillows. Hooking my arms
around her thighs, I relaxed, enjoying the feel of her hands on me.
“Yet.”
A beat passed before my whole body shook with laughter. “MARIA
ANGELA PÉREZ. You menace.”
She burst out laughing, and the harmonious sound filled the dim room,
making my heart ache with how full it felt.
My hand landed on her thigh with a hard smack before gripping
roughly. “You gon’ pay for that later, hermosa,” I murmured, already
feeling myself melting into the mattress, and I heard her soft laugh again.
Her palms massaged my back, rolling out knots and loosening my
muscles. I tried to stay awake by focusing on moving my hand up and down
her thigh in lazy strokes.
I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell asleep. I must’ve been
dreaming because I thought I felt the softest kiss on my cheekbone,
followed by a whisper.
“I love you, too.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about last night. Had it been real? Did I
imagine it?
After waking up with her in my arms, it took me a lot longer than usual
to get out of bed. I wanted to stay there forever, just to hold her.
I’d never done any of this before her – share a bed, talk for hours, kiss
and hug every few minutes like it was a necessity – and now I knew why.
I’d been waiting for her all along. I just didn’t know it.
I thought about what had happened almost three years ago. What it was
exactly that got me hooked on her. The eyes? The personality? The skills?
The voice?
The elevator doors opened, interrupting my thoughts. I walked in but
stopped short; Trevor was already waiting in the entryway for me.
“What was so urgent you dragged me all the way here?” It was an
inside joke, since we always met at a gym or nightclub; never each other’s
homes unless we were having a proper dinner.
However, he didn’t respond; not even a ghost of a smile. His brows
were furrowed, causing my own to do the same.
“What?”
“Thought you’d want to see this.”
He held out a folder, but I refused to take it.
“I told you I didn’t want information on her anymore.”
“Trust me, you want to see this.”
I sighed, snatching the documents out of his hands and flipping
through the information. The first thing to catch my eye was a picture of
Maria at some fed’s funeral. Not the best thing, but irrelevant.
“So?”
“Alleged dead agent was Isabella Ruiz.” He nudged his head, signaling
for me to look at the next page. I did. “Thought it matched the description
you gave me of that fed from two years ago.”
My blood ran cold. Fucking Ruiz.
Before I knew what I was doing, my fist punched a hole through the
wall. Dust floated around us. I’d have to pay him back for that. “Fuck!”
“Jesus. Calm down, Zach.”
“Fuck you.”
“I’m sure there’s an explanation.”
“Yeah? What?”
When he didn’t respond, I walked away.
“Don’t do anything you’ll regret–” Trevor grabbed my shoulder to stop
me, but I shook him off, turning around and standing eye-to-eye.
“What would you do if you found out Natalia was trying to kill you?”
Trevor froze, probably shocked I knew about his secret relationship
with Natalia. I’d known for years. They’d been fucking around since
college and it was getting pretty fucking boring pretending like I didn’t
know shit.
This time, when I walked away, he didn’t stop me.

I didn’t want to believe it.

I was going to talk it out with her.
There had to be an explanation. Maybe she… Fuck. I couldn’t even
think of anything. She’d said she left that life behind. Had she been lying to
me the whole time?
I was a hypocrite. I’d been doing the same.
Did that mean she remembered me?
Or did none of it have anything to do with me?
After I left Trevor’s place, I didn’t look for Maria. Instead, I went to the
gym and took my frustrations out on a punching bag. I thought it’d clear my
head, but I was even more confused than before.
After one of my soldiers told me they’d seen her go up to her
apartment, I drove there. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on her front door.
When there was no answer, I tried the handle, surprised to see the door had
been unlocked. She never left the front door unlocked.
Darkness consumed the apartment, and as I walked in, I hovered my
hand over the Glock in my waistband. Maybe it was a trap; a surprise
attack.
Still, I locked the door behind me. Neither of us was leaving until we
figured this shit out. There had to be an explanation.
I scanned the open living-kitchen space – nothing. Slowly advancing
through the apartment, I knew I wasn’t alone. When I passed the couch, I
saw her.
My whole body relaxed. She was sleeping.
I wanted to laugh, I was so glad Trevor had been wrong.
Crouching down, I scanned her face. I watched her sleep for a while,
fighting the urge to bite her lip, and wake her up and have my way with her.
God, I was so mad and I still wanted her.
I almost did.
 But then something else caught my attention. Glancing down, I saw a
folder of papers barely sticking out from underneath the couch. I picked it
up, my jaw already tense before I even looked inside.
A disappointment so bitter invaded my whole body, I registered the
exact moment my heart ripped from my body. Claws of defeat slashed
through me.
I waited for the anger to kick in; it didn’t.
Earlier, I’d been pissed.
But now, I felt my whole chest being pulled apart.
My hand shook as I brushed a strand of hair out of her face. God, she
was beautiful.
I understood why they called her angel. Though no one ever mentioned
she was el ángel de la muerte.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 35

20 years old
Mexico
SWEAT GLISTENED ON MY SKIN and the wind blew through my
hair, the afternoon sun shining in my eyes. The gold cross on my chain
bounced on my chest as I ran up the hill, finishing the five-mile course.
After a while, the villa came into view, and I stopped in the driveway to
shoot some hoops in the basket above the garage.
Once I was inside, I kicked off my sneakers and rushed to the stairs. I
only made it to one hand on the stairwell.
“Come back here!”
I groaned, walking backward and looking inside the dark office. Matteo
sat behind a black-glass desk, sorting through paperwork. “Are you set for
tonight? My jet leaves in an hour.”
“Everything’s ready to go. The guys are ready.”
“Good. I need you to concentrate tonight. It’s a big shipment–” When
he looked up at me, his face fell. “Did you get a fucking tattoo?” He pointed
a pen at my body. I was shirtless, only wearing basketball shorts.
I glanced down at the Bible verse tatted over my ribs. “Yes.”
“I told you; you can’t be in the family business and have your body
marked. Tattoos are identifiable–”
“Good thing I don’t want to be in the family business.”
Matteo’s jaw flexed. I wanted to keep playing ball. I was already
playing at college level; in a few years I’d go pro. He wanted me to be a
drug lord so he could retire. We’d had this argument a million times before.
I didn’t want to have it again.
 I walked away and headed up the stairs. “I need a shower.”
“You’re getting that shit lasered off!”
“I get to keep that tat on?” I yelled mockingly from upstairs.
“Zachary!”
I slammed the bathroom door shut behind me.

I jumped out of the doorless Jeep, heading inside the warehouse to take
a final look at the product. Thousands of bricks of cocaine, all sat stacked
on top of each other. Several men were moving them into different sets of
boxes for transportation, which was happening in less than an hour.
The Cartel had been working for some time with a group of dirty feds,
whose job was to safely escort the narcotics across the border – for a nice
little share of the rewards, of course.
I stepped back outside and leaned against the warehouse wall to look at
the stars. The jungle surrounding was pitch black; only the sounds of the
waves, swings of palm trees, and crickets identifiable in the darkness.
I stared at the starlit sky. Back in New York, my basketball team had a
new captain leading them in tonight’s game. It should’ve been me. But
Matteo made it clear it wasn’t an option anymore. My place was with the
Family; in the Cartel.
The silence got too much. I waited for a noise – anything. The sound of
boxes moving, the rumble of a car engine, struggled breathing from the
soldiers working inside… Nothing.
A sick feeling coiled in my stomach, and I wasted no time taking out
my Glock. As I was about to turn the corner, one of the workers stepped
outside, and I quickly stashed away the gun. Jesus. This business was
turning me paranoid.
“They’re here, Boss.”
I nodded, and he followed me back inside the warehouse. Some men
were still finishing up the boxes, though a lot less than before. I forced
myself to ignore it and deal with the business meeting first, before lecturing
my own team.
I focused on the group of dirty feds – fucking rats – we’d done business
with a hundred times before. The one thing I hated more than the police,
were dirty cops – bothersome flies; weak and disgusting. But regardless of
my aversion, they were useful momentarily. Once they no longer served a
purpose, the Cartel would get rid of them.
“Young Di’Ablo…” Ruiz, the leader, stepped forward. She was the
only one not wearing a balaclava to cover her face. “Good to see you
again.”
I hid my hate for the nickname. “Should we get started?”
“About that… I wanted to talk numbers.”
I nodded even though I knew exactly what she was going to suggest,
and how I would decline.
“Our payout isn’t making sense in regards to the whole operation.” She
waited for me to say something; I didn’t. “We want a bigger share.”
“No.”
The Cartel’s soldiers which had been finishing up with the boxes,
stopped what they were doing and stepped behind me to back me up as an
intimidating force.
Ruiz chuckled. “I knew you’d say that. But you see, for every hundred
million you and the Cartel make, my team makes one million. Divided
between ten of us… You can understand how that just simply is
underpaying for what we do for you.” When I didn’t respond, she
continued. “We want ten million.”
“Find another Cartel.”
“Careful, Zachary. You’re talking to a federal agent after all. I’d hate
for the U.S. government to find all of your stash houses.”
This cucaracha knew a couple secrets out of the millions the Cartel
kept, and thought she could blackmail me. She could tell the U.S.
government everything she knew about the Di’Ablo crime organization and
it wouldn’t even make a dent in our business.
“A dirty fed that slaves for me,” I corrected, gritting my teeth. “I’d hate
to send your decapitated body back to D.C. in a box. Take the mil and get
the fuck out of my face.”
She nodded. “Shame. I hoped it wouldn’t have to get this far. Boys?”
An arm wrapped around my neck, pulling me back, while someone else
grabbed my hands and pulled me to the ground. Five men pushed my face
into the cement ground, holding me down and tying my hands behind my
back.
My own soldiers had turned against me.
 A black bag was wrapped around my head. Pain shot through my ribs
and back as they began kicking me to force me to stay down. I bit down on
my back teeth, refusing to let out any sound of hurt or struggle. I pulled at
my hands, but instead harsh rope cut into my wrists.
The material of the bag was slightly transparent, allowing me to see
through the black fabric.
One man pulled me back up so another one could hit me freely. Instead,
I headbutted him and knocked him out cold. Someone jumped on my back,
attempting to throw me on the ground; with my hands tied behind my back,
I walked back into a wall, slamming the man between the cement and my
body.
Before I could attempt to take the bag off my head, another man ran
into me to tackle me down. I threw him off my back. When he fell, he
grabbed onto the black material covering my face and took it off with him.
During the struggle, the rope tying my hands loosened, allowing me to
break my hands free. Still, the bind cut into my skin; blood dripping from
my wrists.
More soldiers stepped forward, circling me, and I rolled my shoulders
ready to fight.
As soon as one stepped forward, I landed a punch on his jaw – he
dropped to the floor like a fly. Blood began pooling on the cement under his
head.
Another one advanced towards me, machete in hand. When he swung
the blade in my direction, I dipped and took out his legs. A gurgle sounded
behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see he’d fallen on the razor,
cutting his own neck.
My head turned to the side as a punch attempt landed on my cheek. I
glanced to the side to see an agent. I grabbed his jaw and snapped his neck.
Something hit my foot. I looked down to see a small compact. Beep.
Beep.
It exploded; gas surrounded the space around me within a split second.
My eyes burned and my head swarmed.
My body fell, but I was out before I hit the ground.
 I groaned, struggling to open my eyes, or remember where I was and
why. Something dug into my wrists and I glanced down to see I was tied to
a chair. My muscles felt like jelly and despite my best efforts, I couldn’t
break loose.
There was a buzzing in my ear that wouldn’t stop, and it felt like I had
smoke in my head clouding my thinking.
“What the fuck… What the fuck is this?!”
I looked up towards the shrieks.
Ruiz had opened multiple of the wood boxes which had been prepared
for the shipment. She spun around, glancing in my direction and lifting one
of the products in the boxes. “Feel-good Gummies? Are you fucking
kidding me?”
I knew she’d be too ignorant and stupid to understand it was in plain
sight.
“Where’s the fucking cocaine?”
That’s the cocaine, dumbass.
“What cocaine?”
“Don’t play fucking dumb with me! Where is it?!”
“Where’s what?”
“The cocaine!”
“What cocaine?”
Ruiz’s chest heaved up and down as she walked towards me. She
leaned down in front of me, raising a knife in her hand. “Listen up, Zachary,
and listen well. For every minute you waste of my time, I will inflict pain.
Understood?”
I spit in her face.
Ruiz closed her eyes and I watched the blood spill down her mouth and
chin. That must’ve been worth around ten cuts. Worth it.

“I’m going to ask you one more time. Where. Is. It.”
Ruiz punched me again. The pain was really starting to wear off. It
seemed like she was more exhausted than me.
“Let’s get moving! I want all of the narcotics gone by the time the feds
get here!” Her words faded as she left the warehouse, taking the others with
her to search outside. They’d already searched the rest of the island, and
found nothing.
The shipment was already late by hours. The clients must’ve notified
Matteo, who was probably on his way and not far. I just had to hold off a
little longer.
The black bag had made a reappearance. Ruiz had put it over my head
to stop me from spitting in her face again. Not sure why she didn’t like it;
girls back in New York asked me to do it all the time.
“Angel? What are you doing here?”
I turned my head towards the man speaking, though his face was
covered by a balaclava to hide his identity.
“I just got appointed.”
I turned to the other soldier; a woman. I hadn’t noticed her before.
Maybe she’d been guarding from outside.
“Ruiz didn’t mention you were finally joining us.”
“Since when does she tell you everything?” The girl replied with
nonchalance.
The guy cleared his throat and lowered his head like a bitch. “Right.”
A muffled chuckle escaped me. Fuck, these guys were pathetic.
Couldn’t even keep track of their own operations.
“He’s your kill now, Angel.” The man chirped like a fucking idiot.
They couldn’t kill me. Not until they found the drugs.
The girl’s hand flexed around her machine gun. I didn’t miss her long,
blood-red nails contrasting against the black carbon.
She made her way towards me, scanning me from head to toe, before
coming back up. She towered over me, and I stared into her emotionless
eyes through the black fabric over my head. Her balaclava covered her face,
but I could see her green eyes clearly; dark lashes fanned over them.
Angel.
I understood. I knew she was beautiful and I couldn’t even see her.
Her eyes held mine, staring into my fucking soul, and freezing me in
place. Everything around us blurred and I was left searching for my fate in
her siren green eyes. What was she going to do? Put a bullet in my head?
She pointed the machine gun at my forehead. “Que sueñes con los
angelitos.”
I never thought death would be this beautiful.
 I woke up to…
Matteo?
“Get up!” He shook me to get me back to reality. “We gotta go!”
Groaning, I pushed off the chair, the rope falling to the ground. I
watched the material turn red as it absorbed blood from the cement. I
followed the trail of crimson to find a dump of bodies.
Lights shone through the sky in the distance while the chopper of a
helicopter became louder.
Matteo and the rest of the guys moved towards the exit, but I went in
the opposite direction. Head still pounding, I hurried through the
warehouse, checking the corpses.
Green eyes.
Dark lashes.
Come on…
Nothing. A weight came off my chest.
“Fuck!” I groaned in frustration. “She got away!”
“Yeah, Ruiz left. We’ll get her later. Let’s go!”
Not her.
Angel.
Something sparkled in my peripheral view. I almost pulled something
when I rushed over. I picked up the ammo. A gold bullet encrypted with
none other but the owner’s code name: ANGEL.
One she almost put between my eyes. Why hadn’t she?
“ZACH.” Matteo’s voice boomed through the warehouse. “Let’s go.
Now.”
“One got away.” I jogged over, picking a Glock off one of the guys.
“Yeah. Ruiz. We know.”
“No. Someone else.”
“What?”
I pushed past them, stepping outside of the warehouse. As soon as I
saw it, my chest filled with adrenaline. Footsteps. “I’ll meet you at the boat.
Ten minutes.”
I took off, running through the jungle. The lights from the helicopters
in the distance provided enough light to speed comfortably. Footsteps
thudded behind me. I could always recognize Matteo.
“What are you doing?” I shouted over my shoulder, not slowing down.
He caught up to my fast pace. “You think I’ll let you deal with this
alone?”
We didn’t speak again; only sprinted through the island’s jungle. We
ran for five kilometers until we reached a road made for easy transport.
Crossing it, we hurried onto the beach.
My chest heaved with adrenaline as I glared into the footsteps left in
the sand, leading into the ocean. A wave crashed into my feet, wiping them
out.
Frustration crawled through me.
She was gone.
Matteo breathed heavily to my side, understanding the situation without
me needing to say anything. “You should be proud of yourself, Zach. You
handled tonight like a man.”
“Right.”
“You fought them. You fucked with their heads and slowed them down.
And you’re still alive.” My brother’s hand grounded me. “That’s
something.”
I stared into the horizon, watching closely as the moon shone into the
waves.
Nothing.
“Fuck it. Let’s get out of here.”
“Finally.” Matteo slapped my shoulder, then began jogging towards the
yacht waiting for us behind one of the island’s cliffs, down the beach,
hidden from the helicopters.
Squeezing the gold bullet in my fist, I took one last look at the black
ocean. I could swear I almost made out her green eyes staring back at me
from the waves like a siren. Deadly, cold and beautiful.
I knew she was out there.
Mi ángel de la muerte.

OceanofPDF.com
 PA R T 3

BACK TO PRESENT
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 36

Present
I USED TO BELIEVE THE devil was a red man with horns, hooves
and a tail. A deformed monster, hiding in the shadows.
But I was wrong.
He was beautiful.
After all, the devil was the first fallen angel.
The worst part was I didn’t hate him. I understood why he did what he
did. I knew I would’ve done worse.
I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling my face crunchy with dried tears.
Blinking rapidly, I took in my surroundings. Now, with the daylight shining
in through the windows, I could see where I was.
I expected some type of dark, cement-walled dungeon with chains.
Not a bedroom that looked straight out of the Architectural Digest
Magazine. I turned my head, left and right, confused as fuck. Glancing over
my shoulder, I caught the Manhattan skyline through the peak in the
curtains.
What the hell?
I couldn’t understand why he’d bring me here if he was done with me.
Leaning forward, I stood firmly on my feet, the wooden chair on my
back, tied to me. Jumping up, I leaned backward as I fell to the ground. The
chair broke apart underneath my weight and I quickly wiggled out of the
rope.
The first thing I did was rush to the bathroom. When I washed my
hands, my stomach growled painfully. I was tired; hungry.
Stepping back into the bedroom, I tried the door. Locked – obviously. I
circled the room once, unsure what to do. Stay? Go?
 For the first time in my life, I was so nervous my legs were shaking;
not because I was scared, but because I didn’t know where Zach’s head
was.
I could’ve escaped earlier, but a stupid, foolish part of me hoped he’d
come back. If he came back, I could explain everything to him. If I
understood him, he’d surely understand me.
But he hadn’t come back. He just left me tied to some chair. My chest
ached with a more than familiar sentiment; disappointment. Betrayal.
There was a good reason why I didn’t trust people.
My mind was made.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped up to the door; and with all my power,
kicked it. Once. Twice. The third time, it flew off the handles. I walked out
into the hallway, looking left and right. I picked a random direction and ran.
My feet lost contact with the floor as I was lifted into the air and
thrown onto the floor.
“Is that really all you got?”
I groaned, pushing up to my knees. As I looked over my shoulder and
spotted Zach in a pair of grey sweatpants and shirtless – tan muscle and
black ink exposed – all the pent-up anger inside me made my blood boil.
Did he seriously just throw me onto the ground? It didn’t hurt but it
sure as fuck pissed me off.
He wanted to play? Fine. We could play.
When I stood straight, his eyes scanned me from top to bottom, making
my skin sizzle as he took in my skimpy clothes. I was wearing the same
thing I was last night, before he decided to switch personalities and kidnap
me – the usual loungewear I wore around the house: tight shorts and
bralette set.
His jaw clicked with tension before he met my eyes again and I felt the
pulse between my legs.
I didn’t want to hurt him. But maybe he needed a reminder of who I
was and what exactly I was capable of.
“I’ll give you a head start.”
“No thanks,” I replied, rolling my shoulders and stepping forward.
“You sure you want to do this, Ángel?”
I faltered.
A single word put such a distance between us, there was now an ocean
separating us. It felt like I was standing in front of a complete stranger.
 “I can take you, Diablo.” It was only fair since he’d used my code
name.
“I know, hermosa.” His words were full of insinuation. “I remember.”
“Yeah, like the time I almost slit your throat.” My eyes dropped to the
faint red scar under his neck, as I walked towards him, ready to fight.
He shrugged, stepping closer; the muscles in his large, tatted chest
flexing. “I was thinking more of when you were choking on my cock.”
An infuriated groan escaped my throat as I threw punch after punch,
attacking him. Zach evaded every hit like the professional he was, and I
snaked out of his arms every time he tried to catch me in a death hold.
“Come on… You can do better than that–”
My fist connected with his jaw, causing him to shut up and take a step
back.
Chest heaving with anger and something else that had no place being
there, I kept attacking. A single hit wouldn’t take him down.
But this time, he used my own momentum to twist me around and pin
my back flush to his large body, immobilizing me. He gripped my wrists,
his muscular arms crossing my chest. I couldn’t move.
His breath fanned over my neck, and his embrace – although cynical –
still warmed me from the inside. The fight in me unwillingly died, my body
almost relaxing against his out of habit. My mind went back to the first time
we fought on the outskirts of the city, by the abandoned train tracks, and
ended up just like this; in this exact position.
But then his harsh words brought me back.
“I expected more from a fucking federal assassin.”
Placing a foot on the hallway wall to my side, I pushed in the opposite
direction, throwing my other foot even higher on the other wall. I repeated
the move and in a split second, my feet were on the ceiling. I forced my feet
to advance, causing Zach to fall backward on the ground… But he took me
with him.
We wrestled on the ground. I almost broke free, but he dragged me
back by the ankle. My nails dug into his skin, leaving red marks like the
ones I left down his back when I didn’t mind him overpowering me.
Through it all, I managed to glance through one of the open doors, only
to see another bedroom. The shades were drawn and the bedsheets messy,
as if they’d been slept in. Had he…? My throat closed with the realization.
He never left.
 Somewhere, somehow, he ended up straddling me and pinning my
wrists to the floor, above my head. His face was so close to mine, our noses
were brushing. “Do you really think you can get away from me?”
I don’t want to.
The words almost escaped my lips. Regardless, I was sure my eyes said
it all.
There was a time when I could hide myself from Zach. That was no
longer the case.
When he saw my expression, his brows lowered with a frown, his eyes
dipping to my mouth. His lips parted and so did mine as if on command.
We breathed each other in. Our breaths synced and all I could focus on was
his body rubbing against the inside of my thighs.
We both shifted and I sucked in a breath when I felt him between my
legs.
Our eyes met again. We looked at each other for what felt like hours,
until my mind was hazy. I must’ve gone clinically insane because I raised
my hips and pressed my core into his hard length. His hands immediately
went to my hips, forcing me to stop. But his fingers dug into me, just like he
used to do when he was about to push inside me.
If I could only get through to him… He’d understand.
I used my free hands to wrap them around his neck; going up into his
hair, my nails scratching his nape. He closed his eyes, turning his head
away as if he was in pain.
I pulled his face back to me. “Are you seriously going to kill me?” It
was a rhetorical question. I could see it in his eyes he wouldn’t.
I felt his jaw ticking under my palms. “Don’t be stupid. You won’t be
any fun if you’re dead.” Without moving away, his hands slid lower,
squeezing my knees. “Try to run again, I’ll break them.”
“The last guy who spoke to me like that lost more than his tongue.”
“That malparido ended up at the bottom of the Hudson. Because of
me.” He accentuated his point by pointing at his chest. “So tell me,
hermosa. Who cares more here?” His chest moved with each heavy, angry
breath.
The little-to-no air between us sizzled like static. My eyes dropped to a
cut on his lips, I didn’t even know when it happened. Something wild
possessed me to reach up and lick the blood away. No thought went into my
decision.
 He tensed, refusing to move as I licked the corner of his mouth in small
strokes, tasting metal on my tongue. My nails went deeper into his hair
when I swiped my tongue over his bottom lip. I could feel his muscles
curling with resistance, but the sloppier I kissed him, the closer he got to
losing control. Somewhere during this, I forgot the logistics – or that he
wasn’t even kissing me back – and a moan left my parted lips.
Growling, his hand fisted my hair, pulling my head back. Before I even
felt him kiss me, he bit me roughly; hard enough both our lips were now
bleeding. I forced myself to not back away. But then he swallowed my next
breath. He kissed me like he was drowning and I was his only source of air.
I panted, getting wetter the deeper Zach kissed me. My arms tightened
around his neck and he leaned into me, forcing my back to the floor. I rolled
my hips into him, receiving a deep groan. His hand traveled down my
stomach and lower, cupping me between the legs. A soft hum left me as I
arched into him, pulling him closer.
“These goddamn panties…” He growled against my lips.
I scoffed. “It’s not underwear. It’s loungewear–”
In one smooth move, he pulled my thin shorts to the side and pushed
two big fingers inside me. He swallowed my gasp, my pussy clenching, and
drenching his hand as he pumped in and out. He was merciless, moving fast
and rough. My thighs tensed around his body and I was about to–
His movements slowed torturously and I lost my high. A groan of
disapproval escaped me before he wrapped his other hand around my neck.
“Reach down and play with yourself.” His voice, deep and ragged,
dropped between my thighs like a weight.
I looked up, my cheeks flushed when I met his dark gaze. Slowly, I
untangled one arm from his neck and dragged it down his chest, and
between our bodies. Both of us watched the movement as if in a trance.
Once my hand was between my legs, I began circling my clit at the same
slow pace his fingers fucked me; my long, stiletto nails stabbing his palm
with every stroke.
When he moved faster, I moved faster to match his pace. When he
slowed it down again, so did I, even though I wanted nothing more than for
him to make me come.
“Good girl.” His hand around my neck squeezed. “Now rub your clit as
hard as you can for me.”
 Dopamine sparked inside me and I nodded frantically, rubbing myself
faster – both of us watching our hands move in sync.
He raised his head, catching my bottom lip between his teeth and
kissing me softly – complete opposite from the savage way he was finger
fucking me.
“Does it feel good, baby?”
“Yeah,” I whimpered, and he fingered me faster. I was so, so close…
My hand held onto the back of his neck for support. “But I bet you’d feel
better.”
His movements slowed altogether. I thought it was because he was
about to pull his sweatpants down and fuck my brains out. But when I
glanced at him, he was frowning, eyes shut.
Shaking him slightly, I rolled my hips shamelessly into his hand.
“Don’t stop now…”
“Fuck… What the fuck am I doing?!”
I faltered. “Zach–”
He straightened, pulling away from me and taking all heat with him. “I
told you to stop saying my name.”
“Just–” I scrambled to my knees, reaching for him. My hand grabbed
his bicep, and he glanced at me. Our eyes melted together like they always
did. “There’s an explanation for everything, I swear.”
“I asked you multiple times if anything was wrong last night. If there
was anything you had to tell me. You said no.”
“I know this looks bad…” I wanted to tell him everything but I had no
idea where to begin. “Just let me explain…”
“The folder under your couch already did.”
My face dropped and I slightly recoiled back.
He saw that?
My reaction came out completely wrong.
He scoffed at my response. That was enough for him to make his mind
up. Pulling me up with him, he took me back into the bedroom I escaped
from.
“It’s not what you think–”
He wasn’t listening anymore. I missed my chance. He threw me on the
bed and began tying my hands to one of the poles. “Zach, please, you don’t
understand–”
 He grabbed me by the back of the neck and pulled me in. “Say my
name one more time and I’ll make sure you never speak again.”
“You won’t hurt me.” My voice was almost a whisper.
Something flashed across his eyes. “Don’t test me.”
“It’s not what you think, Zach…”
I watched him walk to the desk across the room and take something out
of a drawer. As he walked back, my eyes dropped to the duct tape in his
hand.
“No, no, no. Zach, please, don’t.” I pulled my hands but they wouldn’t
budge. Glancing up, I saw handcuffs.
A hiss rippled through the air as he pulled a band of adhesive out of the
role. “You’re so cute, begging like anything could get you out of this.”
“Zach, stop! You can’t–”
He grabbed my face in his hand, squeezing my cheeks. “I’ll do
whatever the fuck I want to you.”
I registered the exact moment my heart shattered. I could feel my face
visibly twist with pain. Tears fell down my face, and consequently all over
his fingers.
It was too much: the sex, the fighting, the misunderstanding – I
couldn’t breathe.
Compared to other missions I’d been on… this was nothing. But it hurt
me so deep in my chest, because it was him doing it.
He was the first man I’d ever trusted with my body. My mind. My
heart.
And he broke every promise he’d ever made to me.
I can’t fucking breathe when I’m not around you.
No one will ever hurt you. If they try, I will make them die a thousand
deaths.
I’ll always be your protector.
“Do you think I like hurting you? Because I fucking love it.”
We both knew he didn’t mean physically, which was worse.
Through blurry vision, I heard something hit the wall. I blinked, seeing
the tape on the floor across the room.
He leaned in closer but I couldn’t meet his eyes; not when I was crying.
I hated that he was seeing me like this. “Your life is completely in my
hands, so don’t try to test my boundaries.”
“You won’t hurt me,” I whispered again, more to myself.
 He squeezed my cheeks harder. “Stop. Crying.”
That only made me cry harder. More tears fell down his hand.
Letting go of my face like I was on fire, he walked away.
I closed my eyes shut; the tears I refused to shed for the past decade,
falling uncontrollably. It felt like I had barbwire around my throat. I
couldn’t breathe. More tears burned down my cheeks and an inaudible sob
escaped me, though my chest obviously spasmed.
A crash made me open my eyes again, seeing that he’d pushed
everything off a table. Now, a vase was broken on the floor, along with
many other objects I couldn’t make out.
Hands on the edge of the desk, he leaned against it, head hanging low.
His back rose and fell with heavy breaths like he was the one who couldn’t
breathe. Through the blood roaring in my ears, I could hear him struggling
for air. He hadn’t breathed that hard when we were fighting.
Pushing off, he fisted his hands before relaxing and tensing again, as if
he couldn’t make his mind up.
After a moment, he carried a chair over to where I was on the bed, and
sat opposite me. Leaning forward, he covered his mouth with one hand. I
didn’t meet his eyes, but I knew he was studying my face.
I forced myself to stop crying, but the silence remained filled with my
sniffs as I tried to calm down and regulate my breathing.
We didn’t speak for a long time. He just sat there, watching me, as the
sun set and any light withdrew from the apartment.
“You have no idea how long I dreamed of this moment.” Zach’s deep
voice broke the silence. He held a small metal up in the moonlight, and my
stomach turned when I saw the familiar golden bullet encrypted with the
word Ángel. “When I’d finally avenge myself… My family’s business…
My family’s honor…” He closed his fist around the empty ammo.
“When did you realize it was me?”
“I always knew.”
My eyes burned. “You tricked me.”
“Kind of hypocritical.”
“I didn’t know who you were! I tried to tell you about my past… You
said you didn’t care!”
“You gave me your heart, you know?” His eyes were dark underneath
his brows as he glanced at me. “Now, you want me to hand it back; whole
again. But I won't.”
 My chest moved frantically with heavy breaths while he remained still.
But then something snapped inside him too.
“Was that your plan?”
I looked at him, bottom lip still trembling – and I hated myself for it.
“Hm? To fuck it out of me?”
I closed my eyes, silent tears so hot I thought they’d burn my skin, fell
down again. “I didn’t try to kill you. I was the one that saved you.”
He scoffed. “You’re such a fucking liar.”
“Zach… I swear.”
He shook his head, an emotion I couldn’t place in his eyes. “I don’t
believe you, Maria.”
Manipulating to get out of unwanted situations, cheating to get ahead,
lying to avoid expressing my feelings… It all worked out just fine for me,
my whole life.
But the thing about being a liar and a cheat… No one believed you
when you were actually telling the truth.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 37

Present
I TRIED TO FOCUS ON the fight, but there was only one thing on my
mind. I was in love with her and she was hired to kill me – twice. And I fell
for it – twice.
The glove connected with my jaw. Pain exploded in my face, forcing
me to take a few steps back. I shook my head and turned back to Tony, as
we circled each other on the mat.
He pulled up in the gym parking lot on his motorcycle at the same time
I did, and challenged me to a kickboxing match.
Antonio DeMone.
Gìovanni and Francesca’s younger brother. Reckless. Immature. And
the official pain in the ass of the Cosa Nostra.
How could I refuse?
Tension and suppressed anger had oozed off him earlier and I could tell
he needed to fight someone just as much as I did.
A fist turned my face to the side with force. I tasted metal.
From the West Coast to the East, he was known as ‘K.O. Tony’ on the
streets. Apart from the fact that nothing and no one could knock him out,
the nickname also came from him being one of the most skilled fighters in
the underworld. I’d never even heard a rumor about someone beating him. I
was one of the only few people who could take one of his punches.
I tasted metal from the punch he threw, and my whole face throbbed
with tension. But the pain was good; I needed it.
Don’t be stupid. You won’t be any fun if you’re dead.
 Another punch landed on my jaw like a sledgehammer. I welcomed the
ache.
Do you think I like hurting you? Because I fucking love it.
A kick connected to the side of my stomach. My lip twitched with a
snarl as the throb in my ribs intensified.
Still, the pain in my chest muted everything else.
I’ll do whatever the fuck I want to you.
Sweat fell down my temple just like the tears on her face.
The memory of her, crying like that, wouldn’t leave my mind.
I could see Tony’s glove coming towards me. Instead of ducking, I
lowered my guard. I was so lost in my own head, I didn’t realize when his
hand stopped an inch from my nose.
He scoffed and shook his head before stepping away from me. “The
fuck’s wrong with you?”
I sighed and ran a hand down my face. “Wish I knew.”
“Don’t tell me pussy got you fucked up.”
My eyes turned blacker than the goddamn pits of hell before I could
stop myself. My blood burned and the twisted part of me – which still
believed Maria was my girl – wanted to cut his tongue out, regardless of
him not knowing who he was talking about. My fucking assassin.
“No shit.” He chuckled darkly when he saw my face. Sitting down on
the wood bench near the wall, he took out a cigarette from his gym bag and
placed it between his lips. “Never thought I’d see the day…” He frowned
down as he brought the flame of a lighter to the blunt. After inhaling, he
took it between his fingers and exhaled a large cloud of smoke. “Diablo
whipped.”
I shook my head. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
“Really? Cause you practically got hearts and sparkles falling out your
ass.” He took another deep breath out of the cigarette, looking thoughtful.
“What’s the problem? She won’t put out?”
My face told him to shut the fuck up.
Tony found it amusing.
Shrugging, he put out the barely started blunt and threw on a black
sweatshirt. “In my experience, they tend to loosen up after you stick in the
second finger–”
I gripped him by the collar and hoisted him up, gritting my teeth.
“Watch your fucking mouth, malparido.”
 His lips upturned with a smirk. “Not whipped, huh?”
I growled in annoyance before pushing him away. How did I fall for
that shit so easily?
Chuckling, he stepped back and caught his footing. “Love; I can’t help
you with. Now, sex… That’s a whole different discussion,” He said,
pointing a finger at me, making me roll my eyes. “Maybe you just need
some new tricks to make her fall for you. I mean, things have changed since
you were twenty.”
I was four years older than this motherfucker.
“Lucky for you, I have the experience necessary–”
I kissed my teeth, interrupting him. “Ain’t nobody after your spaghetti
dick, fool.”
He laughed, flashing a shark grin. “What can I say? Bitches like
Italians.” Shrugging, he picked up his gym bag and made his way to the
exit. “I don’t know about your beans-and-rice ass, though.”
I took off a glove and threw it after him. He turned the corner just in
time to flip me off and still avoid the hit.
I snorted.
Antonio DeMone. World-class man whore.
Taking my other glove off, I turned around and caught myself in the
wall mirror. My smile slowly fell.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t like what I saw.
I didn’t recognize the man staring back at me. Even though my chest
shattered with every word I’d said to her – even though I didn’t mean any
of it – I could never take any of it back. I’d crossed the line, and there was
no going back to how we used to be.
My stomach churned at the realization.
There was no going back to how we used to be.
No more late nights together. No more talking and laughing. No more
dates. No more waking up in the morning with her in my arms.
No future.
I was doing the right thing. It still tore me apart.
 A shiver rolled through me in the darkness, and I wrapped my arms
around my body in an attempt to warm my goose-bumped skin. My head
was still pounding with the aftermath of my panic attack and I groaned my
frustration into the pillow. I wanted to sleep; to remove myself from this
reality.
I was the type to stay awake in order to fix my problems, not sleep to
get away from them – but I was just so exhausted, I needed to regain my
strength before I could figure out my next move.
With my face still in the pillow, I took a deep breath to calm down.
Comfort invaded my head and lungs, making my heart race with awareness.
Him.
My eyes shot open and I jumped up in bed, looking around the dark
room. The curtains were drawn back, allowing the moonlight to spill in
through the floor-to-ceiling windows. The room was clearly illuminated and
I could clearly see I was alone.
But he was everywhere.
His cologne. His soap. His goddamn fucking scent.
Taking a deep breath, I ran a hand down my face, freezing halfway.
Slowly, I opened my eyes and stared down at my unchained wrists. My
heart raced with confusion as I glanced around again.
I was in a different room – the one I’d seen when wrestling Zach in the
hallway earlier. One with a fancy, modern steel door that I wouldn’t be able
to kick down.
My eyes fell back to the king-sized bed I’d been in. A blanket covered
me from the waist down but the sheets to my side were ruffled as if they’d
been slept in.
I reached out and placed my hand on the mattress, only to find it warm.
Before I found the power to stop myself, I leaned back down, resting my
face against the still warm covers and taking in his scent. My chest ached
and I felt a single tear slide out of my eye and down the bridge of my nose
before falling and soaking into the sheets.
He got rid of the handcuffs… Carried me here and stayed with me…?
The thought came before I could stop it, warming my body with
nostalgia.
I shook my head. He was probably holding a gun to my temple,
debating whether to pull the trigger or not.
 Noticing a couple of bags on the table across the room, I walked over
and snooped around. My chest tensed when I found some painkillers, a
water bottle, and boxes of takeout – still hot. He’d been here not long ago.
My stomach growled painfully and even though I didn’t want anything
from him anymore, I knew I needed the power if I was going to get out of
here. I took the pills and ate until I couldn’t anymore, and there was still
food left I was sure I would have later.
In the meantime, I made my way into the ensuite bathroom and turned
the light on. I was immediately met with my reflection in a grand mirror.
Stepping closer, I examined my features. The skin around my eyes was still
red, although I’d stopped crying a long time ago. My hair was messy and
my skin felt sweaty from the events of the past two days.
I must’ve stayed in the shower for an hour, scrubbing my skin raw until
I felt clean. Despite everything, the hot water had managed to relax me and
all I could think about was finishing the takeout.
I searched through the drawers under the sink for anything I could use,
only to end up finding still packaged hygienic products; toothbrushes,
toothpaste, floss, moisturizers, perfume. I even lit a couple of vanilla
candles.
Wiping the steam off the mirror, I used everything I could to recreate
my usual routine. Maybe once I looked like myself again, I’d feel better.
However, as I distractedly closed the bathroom light behind me once I
was done and stepped back into the dark bedroom, I’d never been gladder
for a towel than the one around my body.

I blinked up at the ceiling. My body ached, my head was foggy, my

brain wanted to sleep. But I couldn’t. Not when she was everywhere.
Everything smelled like her. Everything reminded me of her.
Yet nothing could fill the emptiness in my chest.
I missed her voice. I missed her comforting silence. I missed her pretty
nails massaging my head.
 Laying down next to her had been a big mistake; a stupid impulsive
decision. But that’s all I seemed to be able to make when she was involved.
When I got back from the gym earlier tonight, I was determined to stop
in her room only to leave her food, and then head straight to the room that I
was sleeping in. However, as I walked past the kicked-down door, my eyes
immediately found her, and before I knew what I was doing, I was standing
next to the bed, towering over her.
Maria was sleeping profoundly; exhausted from our tousle or the
crying. My eyes roamed over her body, noticing the awkward position of
her suspended hands and the way her knees were tucked into her chest as if
she was cold. Out of habit, I reached out, my knuckles grazing her shoulder.
Fuck, she was freezing.
I muttered curse over curse in Spanish as my hands took hold of the
handcuffs. With one strong pull, I broke the metal apart; her hands fell
absently on the pillows above her head. Sighing deeply, I ran a hand down
my face before I picked her up in my arms.
Her head lulled to the side, her cheek pressing into my chest. I felt the
organ beneath thumping against my ribcage for her, seeking a deeper
closeness.
I carried her to my supposed room, dropping the takeout bags on the
table before laying her carefully on the bed and tucking her in. I stood there
for a moment, watching her chest rising and falling with soft breaths.
I forced myself to walk around the bed and to the door, only to stop
halfway and glance back at the empty space next to her. My feet carried my
body back to her as if I couldn’t object.
The mattress dipped with my weight when I laid down on the edge,
leaving space between us. My hands supported my head as I looked at
Maria, whose back was facing me. Her long, brown hair was wild and
messy, and I thought the urge to wrap my fist around it.
An uncomfortable noise suddenly escaped her and she turned on her
back. My heart leaped into my neck; how would she react when she woke
up and found me next to her, staring like a creep.
She twisted and turned again, small grunts of struggle leaving her
throat. She was having a nightmare and there was nothing I could do. I
wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her close until all her demons
were gone; I wanted to kiss the top of her head and nuzzle my face in the
crook of her neck. I was about to get up when she threw an arm over the
empty space between us. Her fingers landed somewhere on my ribs, over
my shirt, and I froze as she unconsciously shifted closer to me. Her hand
wrapped around my body, settling on my chest – above my heart again –
and she nestled her face into my chest.
My eyes zoned in on the gold bracelet I’d given her, still on her wrist.
Something twisted in my chest, making me sigh.
Within seconds, her heavy breathing calmed and she was back to
sleeping deeply. I slowly untangled my hands from behind my head and
wrapped an arm around her back. She groaned softly, pressing her body into
me, one of her legs slightly over mine. Fuck, I missed this.
I’m not sure how long we stayed like that, but somewhere somehow, I
ended up counting her eyelashes. I was already looking at her sleeping
peacefully when I started counting to stay awake. I didn’t want to fall
asleep, especially with her no longer tied to the bed or me, and the door
wide open. I lost count at around three hundred lashes.
My eyes fluttered lazily and I would’ve fallen asleep, but then she
pressed her core harder into me, a soft groan escaping when her hips rolled
into me.
My blood ignited, shooting straight to my dick.
It wasn’t the first time she had grinded into me when sleeping. I used to
wake her up with my mouth and bring her fantasies to life.
But not tonight. Or ever again.
I rolled her off me and got the fuck out of there, making sure to lock the
steel door behind me.
Now here I was, wide awake, staring at the ceiling of the room she’d
been in previously. The ghost of her perfume was everywhere on the sheets,
which didn’t seem to help lessen the hard-on in my pants. Knowing my
head was just a couple of inches apart from hers, only divided by a brick
wall, accelerated my pulse to a steady rhythm.
Bu-bum. Bu-bum. My heart still beat for her.
In theory, I could’ve walked out. Slept on the couch. Left and gone to
my penthouse.
But I fucking couldn’t.
I couldn’t leave this godforsaken bed because the faint reminder of her
was enough to calm the storm in my mind. I couldn’t leave her alone;
something bad could happen. I couldn’t sleep at the penthouse – hadn’t
slept there since we last did together. It didn’t feel right anymore.
 I heard the muffled sound of the shower start through the wall, and my
heart rate picked up knowing she was awake.
I stared at the ceiling, allowing the sound of the water to wash over me
in calm waves, while checking the electric clock from time to time.
But ten minutes turned into fifteen. Then twenty. Half an hour later, the
water was still running.
The red digits stared back into my soul.
My jaw tensed with unease. Surely, she wouldn’t… hurt herself, right?
For fuck sake.
I jumped out of bed and rushed down the hall. Barging in, my eyes
scanned the dark, empty room. Slowly advancing, I saw the bathroom door,
slightly cracked open. Through the steam escaping the tiny space, I caught a
fractured glimpse of Maria washing herself.
The reminder of what we used to do in steam-filled bathrooms hit me
like a sledgehammer.
I kept walking until her back hit the marble again, before propping my
hands on the shower wall, caging her in between my large arms. Water
dripped from my hair as I leaned down to meet her bewitching eyes. I was
close, only leaving a few inches between us.
“You’re mine,” I gave a slow nod of my head to make sure my promise
was coming across crystal clear.
Slowly, I pulled out until only the head of my cock was still inside her,
and then rolled my hips, grinding back deep inside her.
“Oh, fuck,” She moaned, her eyes rolling. I did it again. And again and
again. “Zach… I’m so full…”
I leaned in, brushing my lips over hers, as my hands stroked her thighs.
“I know, baby.”
“But you feel so good.”
Goddamn…
Rolling my hips over and over, I lowered my head and nipped her neck.
“Ah–”
“You’re so hot it pisses me off.”
Her soft tits pressed against my hard chest, her breath hot on my cheek.
“You fuck me so good.” Her nails cut slashes across my back. “I want
more.”
The perfect memory shattered with the knowledge she was pretending.
None. Of. It. Was. Real.
 My eyes dropped to where she was scrubbing her arm so hard her skin
was nearly raw-red, and my chest ached.
Not. My. Problem.
I tore my eyes away and walked across the dark bedroom, stopping in
front of the wall-sized windows. The two-bedroom apartment was in
Queens, high enough to give a full view of the East River and Manhattan
skyline. If I squinted my eyes, I could probably make out the building of
my penthouse.
Gold lights shone in the distance, sirens echoed up the walls, and
suddenly I was back over the river in our home.
My body was exhausted but my mind was wide awake. A multi-million-
dollar view of New York awaited on the other side of the floor-to-ceiling
windows if I had just turned my head to the side, but I couldn’t bring myself
to look away from Maria. The view of her sleeping peacefully on my chest
was priceless, and I quickly came to understand that she was the most
valuable thing in my life.
The worst had happened.
I loved the woman.
I was crazy in love with her.
Hugging her tighter to my chest, I kissed the top of her head. I’d known
the feeling for some time now, but it was in that exact moment I knew I’d
never let her go.
Not even if she tried to claw her way out of my arms.
I whispered into the dark, “I love you.”
“I know you laid in bed next to me.”
My teeth grinded together at the sound of her voice. I’d been so caught
up in my thoughts I didn’t hear her step out of the bathroom.
I loved the woman. I was crazy in–
None. Of. It. Was. Real.
“A little pervy even for you, don’t you think?” Her tone was teasing;
too comfortable and familiar for our current circumstances.
I watched our reflection in the glass as she approached me, stopping a
few inches from my back. I could make out the white towel wrapped
around her body.
“I guess,” I drawled, rubbing a hand over my jaw before glancing over
my shoulder.
 Her hair was wet, wavy, messy; lips plump; face fresh, smooth and
glowy. The gold city lights reflected in her eyes.
She looked like herself again. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it.
My eyes unwillingly gave her a one-over, pausing where the towel
ended scandalously just under her ass. Droplets of water coasted her tan
skin, some flowing down between her legs.
“Kind of how you rubbed your wet cunt against my thigh. You always
dream about fucking me?”
Her cheeks flushed, the soft look in her eyes disappearing. “You’re
sick.”
“Not sicker than you.” I turned and leaned my back against the glass,
gesturing down at the small, damp patch she left on my grey sweatpants.
“Getting all worked up for your kidnapper… Don’t tell me I already gave
you Stockholm Syndrome.”
Her lips parted with shock when she saw the evidence of her dirty
dream. “You’re lying. I didn’t do that.”
“Then why were your panties soaked?” I nodded to where her
underwear was abandoned by the foot of the bed, along with her matching
bra. Of course, I couldn’t know for sure, but I was willing to bet all the
hundreds in my wallet they were in fact drenched.
The blush on her cheekbones intensified.
Knew it.
“I thought you had a praise kink. Does being held against your will and
degraded turn you on?”
Something elusive passed through her eyes. “No.”
I smirked. “So, I’m a sex god, then?”
“Ugh, why are you even here?” She growled, walking away to the
dresser and searching frantically through the drawers. “Finally going to kill
me?”
My smirk vanished when she dropped the towel.
Holy fuck.
Blood rushed to my dick at the sight of her perfect, round ass.
I gulped when she bent over to pull on a pair of my white CK boxers,
and I caught a glimpse of her slick pussy, practically begging me to fuck her
raw. Running a hand over my jaw, I suppressed an agonized groan.
Next, she took a pair of my black sweatpants, way too large for her. I
watched her hands, with stiletto acrylic nails, tie a tight bow around her
waist out of the string. It was extremely impressive the way she’d never
broken a nail; not even in combat.
Before she could catch me staring, I looked out the window. “I told you
I’m not after the messenger.”
“Killing the messenger sends a message.” When she stepped in front of
me, one of my old college ball jerseys covered her tits.
“Unless no one gives a shit about the messenger.”
She smirked, stepping closer. “If you’re not gonna kill me, why am I
here? Why can’t I leave?”
My eyes dropped to her chest, her nipples poking through the fabric.
“You can leave once the rest are dead.”
“So, I can just go to Milan once this is over?”
My jaw clenched. That’s an eight-hour flight away.
“Or maybe Tokyo.”
The blood vessel in my forehead threatened to pop. Fourteen hours
away–
“I haven’t been to Brazil in a while…”
I pushed past her. “I don’t give a fuck where you go as long as it’s out
of New York.” Liar.
“Zach, come on…” Her nails dug into my bicep, stopping me in my
tracks. “It’s us.” Her eyes were so pure, I almost believed her. “Let’s just
talk about it. I’ll explain everything. You’ll see it all makes sense–”
“You still don’t get it, do you?” I faced her again, my chest heaving
with heartbreak I disguised as anger. “I used you to get to Ruiz.” I leaned
down to whisper the rest of the lie, “The good pussy was just a bonus.”
She swallowed. “You’re lying.”
“Who do you think threw you in the river in the first place? None of it
was real.”

This time, I didn’t react. This time, my face remained like stone as he
waited for a sign of hurt. This time, I didn’t give it to him. This time, I
watched uninterested, as he pulled away, walked off and locked the door
behind him.
 This time, I let him go. For good.
It was over.
They called me the Angel of Death. I didn’t beg; I annihilated.
I was better than this. I was smarter than this. I would’ve seen it
coming from a mile away if I hadn’t fallen for him and given my trust away
so easily.
The stupid heart which had gotten me in this mess, was now frozen
again; the way it should’ve always stayed.
I used you.
Used.
Dirty.
As darkness enveloped me, a terrifying realization screamed over the
silence and cruel reality crushed me into pieces.
All the times that Zach comforted me… Protected me… Pretended to
be there for me… All the times I thought I was happy…
None of it was real.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 38

18 years old
“THEY'RE TRYING TO STEAL DRUGS that belong to our supplier.
They took control of the warehouse used for importing. Hidden, little island
in Mexico,” Francesca explained over the phone, the reason they needed me
this time.
To no one’s surprise – not even my own – I ended up working with the
Italians. Whenever they needed an outsider to handle some of their dirty
work and make somebody disappear, I was #1 on their list.
“Why didn’t the Connect handle it themselves?” I was already packing
my bag. I’d just finished another job for Ruiz, taking out an oil-tycoon-
turned-trafficker in Austin. I could be there in less than two hours.
“They’re not currently in the continent. Motherfuckers took advantage
of the lack of soldiers… Can you get there and take them out? The
Connect’s been notified but won’t get there for another several hours.”
I zipped my bag shut and threw it over my shoulder, careful to step
over the corpse of the oil-tycoon I’d just shot in the temple in the hotel
room. “Got it. Send me the coordinates.”
An hour later, the wind zoomed past me as I pushed the lever to
accelerate. The speedboat occasionally flew over waves in the complete
darkness. No lights were on as I was trying to avoid being noticed, and
instead trusted the GPS blindly.
When I reached the isolated island, I hid the boat in a coral reef and
silently found the warehouse, situated five kilometers away from shore.
Hiding in the bushes, I peeked through the cracks of the rundown building.
Soldiers with black masks and machine guns filled the rooms; one tying
somebody to a chair, the others turning the warehouse upside down;
searching. The narcotics must’ve been hidden.
My eyes zoomed in on the captive; a black bag over the head and cuts
all over the visible areas of the body. He must’ve been with the Italians.
“And to think you’re going to lose all these drugs…” A soldier leaned
down to the captive’s eye level. “Must hurt, huh?” He laughed before
walking away to help the others find the imported white powder.
Pulling my own balaclava over my face, and leaving only my eyes
visible, I grabbed the machine gun from my bag. I was about to step away
from the shadows, when a familiar silhouette did it first, entering my field
of vision and turning my blood to ice.
“I’m going to ask you one more time. Where. Is. It.”
Nothing.
Ruiz pulled her arm back before smashing it into the captive’s face.
Despite the force of the punch, there was no response. “Let’s get moving! I
want all of the narcotics gone by the time the feds get here!” Her words
faded as she left the warehouse, taking the others with her to search outside.
The weird itch which had been bothering me my whole life in regards
to Ruiz, suddenly evaporated. I’d always known there was something about
her that I couldn’t put my finger on. Even after she confessed ‘everything’
in the Cuban Embassy three years ago, I still had a feeling there were many
things I didn’t know.
Hidden truths, bold lies and lingering betrayal. Maybe that’d been why
I felt little to no guilt when I decided to work with Francesca as her
contractor and to double the government.
Ruiz had been doing the same thing all along.
Maybe in some twisted, fucked-up way we were the same. She had
been the one to raise and train me all these years after all.
But now, I was going to kill her. With the same moves she once taught
me.
And unlike Cuba three years ago, I wasn’t going to be nice enough to
deliver a mere shot to the head.
With my face covered by the mask, I stepped into the eerily lit
warehouse. I must’ve made it five steps before I got stopped.
“Angel? What are you doing here?”
My stomach churned as I turned around, only to see Rooster; another
fellow federal agent. Well, fuck me sideways. Never thought this one had it
in him to two-way the U.S. government.
However, when my eyes met the eyes of another soldier, and another, I
realized they were all agents. Dirty federal agents. It wasn’t just Ruiz
who’d been lying to me, but my whole team. And they were all part of it.
What had I gotten myself into? I should’ve never signed that goddamn
contract in Cuba.
“I just got appointed.” My voice came out unbothered; maybe even
bored.
“Ruiz didn’t mention you were finally joining us.”
I’d been right all those years ago. I was dealing with a goddamn
sociopath.
“Since when does she tell you everything?” I was always the favorite
agent on the team and they all knew it. If fucking Rooster was in on it, then
no doubt Ruiz would’ve turned me too. Why hadn’t she already? Would I
have accepted?
He cleared his throat. “Right.”
A deep, muffled chuckle came from my side. I turned to the captive.
Rooster smirked and signaled for me since I was standing next to the
tied-up collateral. “He’s your kill now, Angel.”
I internally groaned. Couldn’t he have just kept his fucking mouth
shut? Now, I had to hurt someone on Francesca’s team.
Out of reflex, I lifted the machine gun. “Que sueñes con los angelitos,”
I said to the Italian captive, who’d have no idea what I was saying, before
hitting them in the face with the back of the gun, knocking them out cold.
Rooster’s voice filled the large warehouse again. “You know… I still
think Ruiz would’ve mentioned it.”
I faced him, not saying a word. It wouldn’t have mattered if I did,
because within a split second, he exchanged a knowing look with the others
and reached for his gun.
On instinct, I raised my gun and shot him first, then three others before
hiding behind a cement pillar and taking the rest out one by one. Less than
ten seconds for federal agents? Pathetic. I could now understand how Ruiz
had been able to rob such a large criminal organization – she stabbed them
in the back. It was her specialty after all.
However, when I stepped in the clear and took in the massacre, the
reality of the situation kicked in. For the first time in my life, my hand
shook while holding a firearm. Slowly, I lowered the weapon, analyzing the
irreversible damage in front of me.
Six federal agents lay dead on the dirty floor in front of me while the
criminal was merely knocked out. Forty-two confirmed kills.
What the fuck had I done?
The lightest thud echoed behind me. I twisted in the speck of a second
and pointed my gun to find what I had expected; Ruiz at the end of my
muzzle. Despite her best efforts, I recognized the faintest alarm in her eyes.
She hadn't expected me to hear her.
The bitch was trying to stab me in the back. Again.
My hands tightened on the machine gun, the image of Ruiz flying
backward with bullets invading my mind.
Ruiz’s eyes turned to slits. “Put the toy down and fight me. I know you
want to kill me with your bare hands.”
I took the bait.
In a matter of seconds, I threw the gun on the ground and launched
forwards. She did the same, raising her fist, but before in the last moment, I
dipped and went for stomach instead. I could swear I heard a rib crack from
the force of my attack. As my fist barely disconnected from her body, my
other hand landed a punch on the other side of her abdomen.
Ruiz sneaked a step back, whacking me across the jaw with her elbow.
I turned my face to the side, spitting a mouthful of blood before facing her
again. I stepped forward, she stepped back. Something flashed in her eyes,
encouraging me to place the next foot in front of the other.
Reaching for the ground, she grabbed a broken pipe to use against me. I
blocked every hit, yet my arms ached from the clash against the metal. At
the right moment, I used her momentum against her and pushed the pipe to
her throat. She pushed back; I pushed harder down. Sounds of frustration
and struggle filled the warehouse as we battled with the metal.
A helicopter began sounding in the distance, faint red and blue lights
getting closer. Relief eased into my blood, giving me more force. I
overpowered Ruiz, smashing the metal pipe against her throat.
“Have fun in prison, you fucking maniac.”
She forced the words past her lips, her voice strained, “Who are they
going to believe?” Her eyes brightened. “Whose bullets are inside them?”
The thread inside that kept the last of me together snapped, allowing
just enough distraction for Ruiz to push me off and get away. I reached for
my gun and shot after her, but she had already disappeared into the dark, in
the direction of the police helicopter.
My chest began to raise frantically, realization settling in.
I had nowhere to go. I had nobody; nothing. The organization had been
my only reality; false, yet stable.
It was only a matter of time before I went completely rogue, but I’d
always pictured a more uneventful outcome. My head was spinning with
how this could play out, my slim chances of making it out alive, and the
severe consequences of my actions.
I drew my eyes back to the captive, still passed out and tied up to a
chair. Probably a DeMone soldier. I began making my way over but stopped
abruptly when multiple SUVs pulled up outside the rundown building, the
headlights cutting through the night. The engine roared as car doors
slammed and men entered through the far end of the warehouse.
I quickly stepped back and hid behind a cement wall.
“Hermano!” One of the men yelled. Francesca’s backup and probably
the Connect. Thank fuck.
The man began cutting the ropes holding the captive. I didn’t hesitate to
grab my bag and sneak out through the back of the rundown warehouse.
My job was done. I’d protected the narcotics the best I could. Now I
had to get the fuck out and figure out how I was going to get away with this
shit without Ruiz covering my ass.
I ran until the lights of the SUVs faded behind me and the darkness of
the night enveloped me.
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 39

Present
HER HEELS ECHOED IN THE silence as my lips parted in awe. When
she stopped a few inches in front of me, she raised one manicured hand and
pushed my jaw up with one finger, closing my mouth. Her glossy lips turned
into a playful smile. She knew exactly what she was doing to me.
Rubbing my hand over my jaw, I took a step back to take a better look
at her.
“Fuck,” I breathed out, not able to look away.
Maria raised an eyebrow at me and tilted her head, but didn’t step
forward. I closed the distance between us and looked at my hands as I
gripped her waist. Our eyes met when I drew my gaze back to her face, and
it was like a sledgehammer hit me in the chest. Her gaze melted in mine,
and warm liquid spread in my chest.
When the intensity got too much, Maria cleared her throat. “So?”
I smiled. “There’s a reason I call you hermosa.” I leaned in and placed
a soft kiss on her lips, before pulling back. “You look beautiful, baby.”
She bit her lip to stop from smiling as she wiped her lipstick off my lips
with her thumb. “Should we go?”
“One more thing.” I dug into my pocket, pulling out a fancy black box,
tied with a white bow. “For you.”
She slowly took it from me, opening it to see the twenty-four-karat gold
bracelet I’d bought months ago. It was about fucking time I gave it to her.
Her finger brushed over the charm of the devil and angel embracing.
“It’s like you and me,” I murmured, suddenly feeling nervous. “Us.”
Her eyes met mine. “Zach… It’s beautiful.”
 “May I?” When she nodded, I took her wrist and clipped the bracelet
on. I ran my thumb over it, admiring the gold against her tan skin. The
confession escaped me. “I bought it after your other one broke. Not sure
why I didn’t give it to you sooner.”
Her arms wrapped around my neck, my hands settling on her hips.
“Thank you.” Her lips brushed mine before falling into a deeper kiss.
“ZACH!”
The sweet, comforting memory turned to smoke before my eyes,
leaving a sour feeling behind.
Graffitied brick walls, starless night sky, steam from the vents, sirens
echoing off the main streets, light summer breeze, distant Spanish music
coming from an open window.
I glanced over my shoulder, pissed off for no reason.
Trevor was holding a metal backdoor open. We were on some side-
alley Midtown. “What the hell, man? I’ve been blowing up your phone for
twenty minutes.”
I glanced down at the phone in my hand. Nine missed calls. Multiple
text messages. Shit. I needed to get out of my head.
Pushing off my car, I made my way over, and we entered the dark
building.
“What happened with Maria? You two work it out?”
‘Does it feel good, baby?’
‘Yeah,’ She whimpered, her pillowy lips pressing against mine.
I ran my tongue over my teeth, pushing down the rage boiling in my
veins. “Yeah, we worked out alright.”
“Good,” He replied, somewhat distracted, and I didn’t correct him. He
opened another door, and we entered a large back-room, filled with
weapons and ammunition. “This guy I know, ex-assassin, wanted to meet
with you.”
“You sure he won’t try to kill me? Would hate to decapitate your new
best friend.”
“I am loyal to the Su family and their associates.” A powerful, dark
voice silenced the room. “Have been since we were kids.”
I turned to face the man who we didn’t even hear walk in.
Black hair, black clothes, black eyes. Tall – maybe slightly taller than
me and I was six-five – built, and with a shit-load of black Japanese-style
tattoos ending right at his jawline. Both ears pierced and a nose ring.
 I was no longer the most tattooed person in every room I walked into. I
mentally snickered thinking about how Matteo would have a heart attack.
His voice echoed in my head, Don’t make your body identifiable.
“An honor to finally meet the second Diablo Junior. ”
Only very few people who were involved in our business knew I wasn’t
the original leader of our Cartel, because they’d met Matteo before me. The
original Diablo was our father, who Matteo took after, then me. However,
no one on the outside knew who Diablo was, or that the name had been
passed down.
My eyes turned to slits. “Zach is fine.”
He smirked. “Zane Takashi.”
Trevor shook his head at both of us before starting some conversation
with Zane. I turned back to the steel walls, admiring the machinery and
weapons while they caught up before our meeting.
Machine guns, sniper rifles, automatics, pistols, machetes, katanas…
Who the fuck was this guy? The only things missing were explosives.
My eyes zeroed in on some type of box-shaped machine. There was
one band that went in, already filled with ammunition. “Yo, what’s this?” I
asked over my shoulder.
“Personalizes bullets,” Zane nodded towards sets of cartridge boxes
next to the machine. “Some clients are… specific.”
“You mind?”
“Go ahead,” He replied before turning back to his conversation with
Trevor.
Each box was labeled. I picked up the first – Python – sliding it open to
see black bullets encrypted with the name. Placing it back, I looked through
the others: Venom, Lilith, Ace, others in foreign calligraphy I couldn’t read,
Angel, Phantom–
My blood froze when I turned back to the box and picked it up again.
Sliding it open, I picked up one of the gold ammunitions. The name was
spelled so clearly – ANGEL – it turned my vision red.
Some clients are specific.
Client.
Reaching into my suit pocket, I pulled out the similar ammo I’d been
carrying around for the past two or so years. I placed the two bullets side by
side… Identical.
Gold. Bold. Angel.
 I turned around and pointed my Glock at Zane’s head. Probably out of
instinct, he reached for a gun too, but stopped halfway and faced me
instead.
“Woah,” Trevor stepped in between us. “The fuck are y’all doing?”
“You work with Maria? She’s your fucking client?!”
“What the fuck…” Trevor turned back to Zane. “You know Maria?”
“It’s why I asked you to come here today.”
“Bullshit.” I pulled off the safety.
Zane’s jaw clicked with tension. “Last night, a new client called my
burner phone. They wanted me to take out two people: an assassin and a
drug lord.”
“Zach and Maria?” Trevor crossed his arms, but remained between us.
Zane nodded before looking back at me. “Said you were fucking with
their business, owed them money, ratted them out… So on.” He stepped
away and flipped open a laptop on the center desk. “I lied and said I agreed.
When they wired half the money in advance, I tracked them down. Call
came from a dirty fed, supposedly dead.”
My pulse hammered in my veins because I knew the name he was
about to say.
“Ruiz. No one knows of my involvement with the Su family, and
therefore you. Or my long-time relationship with Maria.”
Long-time relationship. The fuck did that even mean? How did this
fucker even know her?
My blood boiled in my veins and my trigger finger itched so bad, I
almost pulled it. “Thanks for the shocking news but I was already aware of
the situation.”
“I don’t really give a shit about you, but I can’t get a hold of Maria,”
Zane spoke through gritted teeth.
He can’t get a hold of her… Meaning he used to be able to get a hold of
her… He has her fucking phone number?!
“And you won’t ever again.” Not true since I wasn’t going to kill her,
but he was starting to piss me off, so I thought I’d return the sentiment.
LoNg-TiMe ReLaTioNsHip. Blah, blah. Fucking dickhead.
Zane took a deliberate step towards me. “Fuck is that supposed to
mean?”
I tilted my head to the side, hoping he tried to kill me just so I could kill
him first. “It means she’s no longer a liability.”
 Zane growled, about to attack me but Trevor grabbed his shoulder,
steading him. “Zach… You said you two were good.”
I ran my tongue over my teeth, ignoring Trevor. “How do you know
her?”
Know, now knew.
Zane relaxed at the use of present tense. “We’re both assassins.”
“Is there some fucking contract killer club I don’t know about?” I
waved the gun in my hand before pointing it back at his head. “I know she’s
been working with Ruiz to get me, so quit the theatrics.”
He gave me a weird look. “Maria and Ruiz have been at war for years.”
“They seemed pretty fucking close and cozy to me in México.”
Zane’s frown deepened. “What?”
“She knocked his ass out with the back of a machine gun, but didn’t get
to kill him cause the FBI showed up,” Trevor clarified for me.
“You were there?” When my face remained stone, Zane pressed. “Two
years ago?”
I glanced at Trevor. “I swear to fucking God I’ll blow his brains out.”
“Alright. Both of you calm down.”
“Wait…” I swear Zane’s face almost paled. “You’re the one who was
the only hostage still alive?”
My blood iced. She fucking told him about how she tried to kill me?
What else did she do with him?
My jaw flexed. “After Ruiz hijacked the island and had her punks chain
me down, Maria came to finish the job.”
Zane huffed, running a hand through his hair. “When shit went south
with your shipment two years ago, your brother – A.K.A Diablo at the time
– saw it on one of the hidden security cameras. Except he couldn’t do
anything about it because he was on a jet. He notified his clients that there
would be no import coming into New York, because there was a hijacking
in México.”
“You seriously telling me my own life story?” I was losing my fucking
patience.
Zane shook his head. “Who are the New York clients?”
“The Italians.” Trevor replied in a ‘duh’ tone.
“And what did they do when they heard about the hijacking?”
“They sent backup that never arrived in time.” Matteo had been the one
to save my life yet again that night. It was why I owed it to him to continue
running the family business, or why I couldn’t complain when he chose to
fly out to Vegas or Miami without notice.
Zane tilted his head. “Or did she?”
My heart pounded at the insinuation.
“What…” Trevor’s face dropped. “You’re not saying–”
“Maria worked with the Familia even more than me. She was in Texas
at the time, so when they asked her to backup the situation in México and
help with their shipment, she didn’t hesitate. When she got there, there was
one captive still alive.”
“No.”
“Think about it.” Zane advanced towards me. “Who is Maria best
friends with?”
“Francesca…” Trevor answered again.
I shook my head. “No.”
“Why did she just knock you out then?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why didn’t she just kill you on the spot?”
“I. Don’t. Know.”
“Why did she let you live?”
“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW.” Emotion bled through my booming
voice. The same questions I’d been asking myself for years. Why?
Suddenly, the silence brought clarity. Zane scoffed, “She wasn’t there
to kill you. She was there to save you.”
No…
“She had the same uniform on as Ruiz’s soldiers,” I explained.
“She had to infiltrate herself.”
No…
I moved to turn away. “She knew them. They called her Angel.”
“At sixteen, Maria was abducted and trafficked. She killed her way out.
She didn’t tell you about that did she?”
I stared at Zane, my face blank and unemotional, masking the inferno
raging inside. No. She hadn’t told me. Black wrath seeped through my chest
and I’d never wanted to avenge someone else before. Though, pride muted
the rage. She killed her way out. That was my girl.
“Since she saved all those other women’s lives too, the C.I.A. got her
on their radar,” Zane continued. “Long story short, she became an agent in
training under Ruiz, who was dirty. Except Maria had no idea, and was
doubling them too on her own. When she got to México, she found out Ruiz
was dirty. She hit you because she had to play along. But then they realized
what she was there for and she had to take them all out. Only Ruiz
disappeared. Maria’s been after her since.”
No…
“Zach…” This time it was Trevor who appeared in front of me. “Think.
Did she even take the cover off your face?”
“She was busy fighting Ruiz,” Zane answered for me. “She said she
saw a group of men arrive and free the ‘captive’ before she had the chance.
By then, the feds were already there so she just got the fuck out as fast as
she could.”
No…
Her red eyes. Her wet cheeks. Her tears.
‘I didn’t try to kill you. I was the one that saved you.’
‘You’re such a fucking liar.’
‘Zach… I swear.’
‘I don’t believe you, Maria.’
I shook my head frantically. “What about the folder in her apartment,
then?”
Zane’s eyes dropped with sad understanding, as he leaned over the desk
and reopened the laptop. I leaned in, seeing the black screen with green
writing showing the recorded phone conversation he had with Ruiz.
[ What about the assassin? ]
[ I told the Angel I’d spare her life if she took out Diablo. ]
[ And? ]
[ Would we be here if she listened? ]
I registered the exact moment my chest ripped apart. I pushed off the
desk, but all of a sudden, the room was spinning.
Her arms wrapped around my neck, my hands settling on her hips.
“Thank you.”
My vision blurred. My head swarmed. I fell to my knees.
Her lips brushed mine before falling into a deeper kiss.
My eyes burned. My whole body ached. I could feel my heart bleed
with regret.
I’ll do whatever the fuck I want to you.
Do you think I like hurting you? Because I fucking love it.
 Bile rose in my throat.
‘You won’t hurt me,’ Her voice was a whisper.
‘Stop. Crying.’
I hunched over, vomiting everything in my stomach on the concrete
floor.
‘Zach, come on… It’s us. Let’s just talk about it. I’ll explain everything.
You’ll see it all makes sense–’
I retched again. Disgust washed over me violently at what I’d done.
“What did I do…” I mumbled to myself, grabbing the counter to pull
myself up. I moved to the sink, washing my mouth and face with cold
water, hoping for clarity. “What the fuck did I do…”
The room was still spinning when Zane gripped me by the collar. “You
didn’t fucking touch her. What the fuck did you do to Maria?”
Trevor pulled Zane back. “Did you kill her?!”
I recoiled. “Of course not.”
“Then what did you do, Zach?”
What did you do, Zach?
“I– She’s–”
“Spit it the fuck out!” Zane yelled. “She’s like my little sister. I swear
to God, if you touched her–”
“She’s at my apartment in Queens.” My eyes dropped. “She’s fine, but
there against her will.”
Zane turned around, running his hands down his face. “For fuck
sakes…”
It was Trevor who grabbed me by the shoulders, steadying me. “You
need to go right now and let her go.”
I saw double. Squeezing my eyes shut, I shook my head. If I let her go
now, she’d leave. I’d lose her forever…
“You need to.”
“She fucking hates me. I need to explain–”
“Like you let her explain?”
My mouth closed, and I clenched my jaw.
An agonizing pain spread through my chest and up, like there was
barbwire wrapped around my neck. “I need to fucking apologize…”
“You think ‘sorry’ is gonna do it?”
I wanted to punch Trevor – nothing new under the sun – but I knew he
was right about this. I stared at him, completely sick and lost.
 As his hand squeezed my shoulder again, his voice sounded far away.
“You need to let her go, man. She needs space from you.”
Space.
Away from me.
“Go to Maria. I’ll handle Ruiz.” Zane spoke for the first time in
minutes. He’d gone back to his tranquil nature; holding a rifle, loading it,
and checking the telescopic sight. “Don’t worry about watching your backs.
I got it covered.”
Everything was a blur until I pushed through the front doors of Zane’s
building and stepped onto First Avenue. The rain that fell on my face
cleared my head and as I glanced at the five lanes packed with traffic from
rush hour, I knew it’d take me at least half an hour to make it from
Midtown to the apartment in Long Island City, Queens.
Instead of heading to my car parked on the side alley, I turned the
opposite way and ran. Over the Queensborough Bridge and through
Roosevelt Island. Less than ten minutes later, I was in the elevator, chest
heaving, on the way up to the sixtieth floor.
Lo lamento.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 40

Present
I UNINTENTIONALLY FLINCHED WHEN THE bedroom door
slammed open. Sitting up in bed, I glanced over my shoulder, only to see
Zach rushing towards me. Before I could stop myself, I backed away,
further into the pillows – not knowing why he was coming at me with such
speed.
He immediately halted when he saw my reaction, and his eyes filled
with what almost looked like pain. I didn’t think he’d really harm me, but I
didn’t know what he would do.
After last night, I understood none of it had been real; and that I didn’t
actually know the man standing in front of me. I knew the version of him he
chose to show me in order to catch me. I only knew what he allowed me to
see.
I frowned, taking in his heaving chest, messy hair and ruffled clothes.
The defeat spread across his face was so raw and open, I couldn’t believe it
was Zach. He always looked like he had everything under control.
My heart pounded in my chest, eyes following him carefully, as he
walked around the bed – slowly. But when he crouched down by my side of
the bed, I closed the book I was reading and moved to get off on the other
side of the mattress. There was no way I was doing whatever this was.
I could play nemeses. I could act like none of it meant anything
because it was just a big game of pretend. But I couldn’t play this sick game
of going back and forth.
I froze when his hand cupped my face. Turning me back to look at him,
he held me so gently, I thought he was getting ready to kill me. His eyes
roamed over my face, while his thumb stroked my cheek; the touch was so
innocent I almost leaned into it. My head was spinning; I couldn’t
understand what was happening, and my chest tightened with anxiety.
I looked away to hide my burning eyes. It was all getting too much
again.
I didn’t know how or why… But the energy from last night was gone.
There was no frustration, hatred or ill will in the air.
“Baby…” I felt the endearment pierce me through the chest. Zach held
my face in his hands, brushing the hair out of my face. “Baby, look at me.
Please.”
I shook my head, attempting to pull away. Why was he doing this?
He took in a deeper breath and his hands held me firmer. “Lo lamento.”
Raw emotion scraped through his words and…
I understood. I raised my eyes to meet his; when they did, they
connected with the force of a sledgehammer.
“Baby, I’m so fucking sorry.” His hands trembled as they held my face,
almost as if he was scared to hurt me. His eyes were red at the edges, the
pain and regret in them bleeding straight through.
Mine remained deceivingly cold and unforgiving. I fought to keep
myself together. I knew he’d understand–
I hated that his words slowly began sewing my heart back together.
But it was too late. Nothing could fix it because I wouldn’t allow it.
The pain served as a reminder of why I didn’t trust others to begin with.
The one time I broke my rule, I was taught just why I had it in the first
place. And I never made the same mistake twice.
I used you.
I felt a coolness extinguish the fire inside my chest, freezing it back
into place.
“I didn’t know, I swear. You told me… I should’ve believed you.”
I shook my head. It didn’t matter. None of it was real.
“Please, baby, you have to believe me. I didn’t know–”
“I want to leave.” My reply came emotionless, as I pushed his hands off
me.
I watched him crack at my indifference.
The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.
I didn’t know what I was, but it sure as fuck was not indifferent.
However, he didn’t have to know that. I was a great manipulator. An Oscar-
worthy liar. The only reason why he could read me like a book was because
I had allowed him to.
He was going to experience just how easily I could take everything
away. No more smiles. No more crying. No more soft kisses. No more
fighting. No more tight embraces. No more trying.
Just icy-cold, motherfucking indifference. Because all he needed to
know was that I didn’t care anymore.
I was done.
Despite everything, his eyes remained focused. “I’m going to fix this,”
He spoke with assurance – so honest and determined, it made me want to
wrap my arms around his neck and let him hold me; let him put me back
together. Because it sounded like a promise.
But he broke his promises.
“I want to leave.”
He remained silent as several moments passed. Then his eyes dropped,
and I watched shock cut him deep.
The bracelet he had given me, which I’d previously refused to ever take
off once he put it on me, was no longer on my wrist. His jaw twitched with
tension; silent, twisted thoughts filled the air. I thought it would even the
playing field, but even after everything, nothing about hurting him felt
good.
Zach glanced to his side, finding the bracelet abandoned on the
nightstand.
Before I could react, he forcefully placed it back in my palm. “It’s
yours.”
“For you.”
I slowly took the small, black box from Zach, opening it to find a
beautiful gold bracelet inside. So delicate and detailed my lips parted. I
brushed my finger over the attached, little charm of a devil and angel
embracing.
“It’s like you and me,” He murmured. "Us."
“Zach… It’s beautiful.”
“May I?” When I nodded, he took my wrist and clipped the bracelet
on, before running his thumb over it and my skin. “I bought it after your
other one broke. Not sure why I didn’t give it to you sooner.”
My heart tripped on itself, and I felt it get too big for my chest. I
wrapped my arms around his neck, and his hands settled on my hips.
 “Thank you.” My lips brushed his before falling into a deeper kiss.
“I don’t want it.” I threw the gold on the bed like it was worthless junk,
when in reality, I wanted to keep it forever because it reminded me of us.
Pushing past him, I got up and made my way out of the bedroom
without another word, heading straight for the front door.
His footsteps thudded behind me. “Let me drive you.”
“No.”
“How are you going to get home?”
“The same way I escaped Moscow and Shanghai. I didn’t need you
then, and I sure as fuck don’t need you now.”
“Fine. Then I’ll just walk behind you the whole way.”
The audacity.
“So you can throw me in the East River again?” I threw a mocking
glance over my shoulder. “No, thanks.”
His jaw tensed. “It wasn’t like that.”
“It was exactly like that last night.”
“Look… I did have one of my soldiers follow you. And he did push
you–”
I scoffed. Turning around, I pulled the front door open.
Zach’s palm slammed into the steel above my head, pushing it back
shut. His other hand came up too, resting on my other side and caging me
in. I tensed when he stepped closer, brushing my back as his body heat
enveloped me.
He leaned down, his breath warming my neck. “But I never told him to.
Which is why I tortured him for days before I put a bullet in his head.”
My heart thumped in my chest and liquid warmth pooled in my tummy.
It was sick. He had to stop killing every guy that even looked at me wrong.
“Because he didn’t follow your orders.”
“Because he hurt my girl.”
My eyes burned. I wanted to believe him.
“Like you give a shit about me,” I snarled.
When I tried to force my way out, he turned me around and locked his
palms on my waist, pinning me against the door. He leaned down, still
managing to hover over me, leaving only a few inches between us. Both of
our chests expanded with each heavy breath. The bulge in his pants pressed
into my lower stomach, and I felt my pulse drop like a weight between my
legs.
 “Do you have any idea how scared I was when I couldn’t find you in
the water? All I knew was, I wasn’t going back up without you.”
“So you could kill me yourself. Almost three years, was it? That you
fantasized about slitting my throat and letting me bleed out–”
“Maria.”
“Maybe you’ll put a bullet in my head too when I step out of line–”
His hand wrapped around my throat, pulling me close, as he spoke
through gritted teeth. “Don’t fucking talk about that.”
“Am I wrong?”
“Yes. Things have changed. I would cut my hand off before you were
ever in pain again. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. But you didn’t exactly make
it easy on me, baby. I mean, come on, the fucking folder? Don’t even get
me started on México. I had a black eye for a month.”
I stifled a laugh when he pointed at his eye. I had hit him hard.
He turned the finger back at me, accusingly. “And you fucking
abandoned me on that island.”
I didn’t abandon him – technically. Though, I kept that thought to
myself.
“You had me thrown in a river, so we’re even.”
His hold on my throat tightened. “I jumped after you. Risked my own
life. For you.”
He was so close, I wasn’t sure whose air I was breathing anymore.
My soft voice was filled with sarcasm, as I stared into his eyes. “I
should thank you then.”
Smirking, he lowered his head. “You already did that night…” I felt his
lips brush my ear before leaving a kiss on my neck. “Remember, hermosa?”
He didn’t let me get up again; only continued to lick me over the
material of my panties, filling the room with my moans and his groans of
pleasure. Every single one of his growls vibrated against me, making me
roll my eyes to the back of my head and dig my nails into his forearms
resting on my stomach. Before I knew it, I was shaking underneath him in
the aftermath of my orgasm. Zach didn’t stop, forcing me to ride it out until
I was twitching and squirming away from him.
“I know you’re mad. You have the right to be.” My chest tightened at
his words. “You can scream at me. You can hit me. And you can hate me.
Because I hate myself too for hurting you.”
“Zach…”
 “But you can’t leave me.” His lips brushed over my jaw.
“Zach.”
“What I did was unforgivable. So, I’m going to spend the rest of my
life apologizing. I’ll do anything. You know I will.”
“Stop.”
He did immediately; pulling back to look me in the eyes. Whatever he
saw, sparked panic deep inside him. “I won’t lose you, Maria.”
The silence was deafening.
I delivered my words with an angelic vengeance.
“You already did, Zach.”

I was numb walking the busy streets of Midtown. I was numb on the
Line Six subway. I was even numb taking the elevator up to the fifty-second
floor. But when door 111 opened and Natalia’s worried eyes met mine,
silent tears began falling down my face.
Her arms were around me within seconds, holding me close as I cried
in her doorway. I allowed myself to feel my emotions for once.
“What happened?” Her soft voice comforted me. We hadn’t grown up
with families; all we had was each other. Natalia wasn’t just my older sister,
sometimes she felt like the mother I never had.
I thought of an answer for a moment. All she knew was that I was
seeing Zach. How could I possibly summarize what had happened in the
last weeks?
“We broke up.”

The burn only seemed to warm me up for a moment before being

muted by the icy loneliness in my chest. I barely ever drank, but tonight it
seemed like a great idea.
 I sat at the bar, admiring how similar the dark wood furniture was to
Maria’s chocolate hair, though not quite the same. To my left and right, sat
Trevor, Zane and Matteo. I couldn’t tell if they were talking to me or just
above my head – but in all honesty, I couldn’t really care.
You already did, Zach.
I tipped my head back, draining another tumbler.
Although I forced myself to not follow her, I still had someone tail
behind her to make sure she was okay. I didn’t give a shit if it was wrong, I
needed to know she was safe. She could get all the fucking space she
wanted from me; I was always going to be ready to protect her.
I was glad she hadn’t gone back to her apartment, but instead Natalia’s.
I was glad she wasn’t alone.
Since no one except me knew about Trevor and Natalia’s weird
relationship, he had to sneak out through the fire exit and climb down fifty
flights of stairs when Maria showed up at Natalia’s unexpectedly.
“So that’s why you got that blurry painting hanging above your bed?”
Guess Matteo was finally all caught up. “I don’t know if I should be
impressed or weirded out, bro.”
Usually, I would’ve said something back; but not tonight. I felt them all
exchange looks at my silence.
“No comment from Zach? That’s bad,” Trevor spoke as if I couldn’t
hear him.
Matteo stood and slapped my shoulder, causing tequila to spill over the
rim of my glass. Fucking idiot. “You’ll get over her, man.”
I pushed him off me harder than necessary; he took a few steps back in
order to catch his footing.
“I am never getting over her.”
All I wanted was to drink alone and think about Maria. But these idiots
just had to tag along and ruin my free time.
Was that such a big fucking ask?
I forced the anger back down and downed another drink.
“That serious between you two, huh?”
I stared into my empty glass. “I love her.”
Silence.
No one said anything, and eventually, the bar’s jazz music took over. I
ran my hands through my hair; pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration.
Anything to try work out how to solve this.
 After a while, the alcohol stopped burning. “I couldn’t move on…
Couldn’t get over it…”
Trevor shrugged. “Maybe you didn’t want to move on.”
“What?”
“Yeah, he’s right,” Matteo chimed in. “Maybe you fell for her right then
and there, and couldn’t comprehend it cause she didn’t feel the same.”
I stared at my hands. I missed when Maria used to hold them. “Yeah.
Maybe.”
The ache in my chest was constant. I wondered what Maria was doing
and if she was as twisted up over this as I was. An ache shot in my chest
when I thought of her scrubbing her skin raw off me.
“If I ever get this twisted up over a woman, shoot me in the head,”
Zane drawled, before downing his whiskey. A moment passed before he
spoke again, “I’ll help you.”
I turned to him, frowning. I didn’t think I heard right.
“But if you ever hurt her again…” Zane stood, throwing his black
leather jacket on. “I will kill you. She’s like my little sister.”
My jaw clenched as I stared at him. The idea of any man caring about
Maria – being willing to kill for her – pissed me off. Though, the fact that I
knew their relationship was that of siblings, and that he would protect her
like a brother, seemed to calm me down. It was something I respected.
I was thankful there was somebody else who was looking out for her.
Even if it meant protecting her from me.
“I understand.”

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 41

Present
I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE WORKING. I felt like staying inside, watching
rom-coms and eating ice cream. But Zane needed my help on something,
and getting my mind off of my personal life seemed like a good idea. I
could use a distraction. I’d been feeling my feelings all week. I was tired of
crying and feeling sorry for myself.
Taking my hand out of my pocket, I lifted it to check my watch. I was
half an hour early simply because Zane was always there before me, and I
wanted to handle this as fast as possible.
He hadn’t been specific on the phone, which was unlike him, just like
not being at the location early.
I glanced around the industrial outskirts of Brooklyn; the Manhattan
skyline on the other side of the river, behind a chain-link fence to my side.
The sun was setting behind the skyscrapers, burning hot red. Gravel
crunched under my sneakers as I made my way to the one-story building
Zane had described.
Without a second thought, I pulled the metal door open. The light
sensors activated as I advanced inside, illuminating the dark warehouse.
Glancing around, I noticed another door cracked open. Behind it, a cement
staircase lit up by a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling.
I couldn’t stop myself from wandering downstairs. Several floors
underground, I found more hallways, going in all directions. They must
have stretched under the whole city. I wondered if these were the tunnels
Zach told me about; the ones used by the Cartel to move weight.
One of the doors was wide open, allowing me to see inside a small
room. As I stepped inside, my pulse hitched with adrenaline. Handcuffs
chained to the walls, a blood-stained sink, a metal chair in the center along
with a mirror right in front of it. Knives, chainsaws, drills, rope, duct tape.
I was confused. Zane didn’t care for torture; he delivered one-shot kills.
He believed in karma and the way of the universe; not playing with his
prey.
Anxiety and dread spread through my chest. This wasn’t one of Zane’s
safehouses.
It was…
“You were supposed to wait upstairs.”
My heart stopped.
Blood iced in my veins. Then my pulse skyrocketed as fire spread
through my body.
A bitter taste filled my mouth as I understood Zane had helped him
corner me.
I hesitated for a moment before turning around.
Dark hair. Black suit. Tattoos.
The view hit me right in the chest like a punch. Every emotion I
thought I’d cried out of my system in the last week rushed back to the
surface. I forced my face to remain stone-cold; pushed my feelings down;
controlled my chest to move with even breaths.
Zach didn’t look like himself. His hair was messier than usual and I’d
never seen him in a creased suit before. His eyes searched mine, but it was
no use; I was looking through him.
I moved to push past him, and of course, he stepped in front of me.
“Get out of my way.”
“Just let me–”
“No.”
“I lo–”
“Don’t you dare say it.” My vision blurred when I looked back up.
Blinking the emotion away, I caught his jaw clicking with tension.
The pain in his eyes matched mine.
A moment of silence.
“I love you.” His voice came out strained and raspy. As if it was said
with everything in him.
My eyes burned again, and I had to look away to regain myself.
I felt my chest contract. I’d heard him that night. He thought I was
asleep, but I heard him whisper it into the dark after kissing the top of my
head. I foolishly believed him. And the following night, I stupidly said it
back once he fell asleep.
“It doesn’t matter,” I gulped. “Love can’t fix this.”
“You love me too. I heard you that night.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as if I was in physical pain. Weirdly, the one in
my chest hurt worse than being stabbed.
He… He heard me too?
I shook my head. “None of it was real. You said so yourself.”
“I was just talking shit. I didn’t mean it.” He paused, regaining his calm
and trying again. “Maria, please. I can’t lose you. I can’t.” His voice bled
out with so much regret, I almost believed him.
It was getting too much. All over again. My head was thumping. My
body was shaking. Everything inside me boiled to its limit, finally
exploding.
“You never fucking had me, Zach. God! Get it in your fucking head and
leave me alone!” I screamed, physically forcing my way past him with
every single ounce of power inside me.
When I snaked past him, he grabbed my upper arm in a steel grip and
pulled me back. Out of pure instinct and body memory, I managed to sneak
my way out of his hold and step away with his gun.
There was no hesitation as I pointed the Glock at his head. “Don’t.
Ever. Touch. Me. Again.”
He gestured at his chest with his hands. “You could’ve talked to me.
You could’ve come to me. I would’ve helped you.”
“Oh, so all of this is my fault?”
“That’s not–” He shook his head, running a hand through his messy
hair. “What was I supposed to do when I found out the woman I love was
hired to kill me? Meeting up with dirty FBI agents behind my back and
keeping a folder full of information no one except her knows about me… I
thought you played me. You’re a goddamned assassin, Maria. Do you know
how many people want me dead? What was I supposed to think?”
“But you didn’t torture and kill me. No, you manipulated me into a
relationship and played house. It’s fucking psychotic! You had no right!”
“Do you think I wanted to love you? Knowing who you were and what
I thought you came for? Don’t you think every minute we spent together I
was thinking in the back of my head, is she pretending?”
“I wasn’t–”
 “And I love you so much I let you pretend.”
“No.” Tears gathered in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. “You
pretended you didn’t know me, made me fall for you…” My voice shook
with the following words, “Took things from me I’ll never get back.”
His brows dipped and his jaw clenched, because he knew I was right.
“You intentionally hurt me even after I told you what I’ve been
through. You betrayed me. And now…” I inhaled deeply, fixing the gun in
my hand. Pure, red rage flowed through me at the memory of the pain in my
heart. “I’m going to kill you.”
I expected him to attack me. I anticipated every move he could possibly
make to try take the firearm away from me.
The more silence stretched between us, the more unsureness began
filtering through me. Why wasn’t he fighting me?
Nothing.
But then…
Zach swallowed; jaw clenched as he nodded. “I understand.”
What?
I frowned. “Did you hear what I said?”
His ebony eyes pierced mine, devouring darkness in their intensity. He
was so relaxed as he slightly shook his head. “You won’t do it.”
I scoffed, pulling off the safety. My heart pounded in my chest.
“You won’t pull the trigger.”
Do it.
“You can’t do it.”
Do. It.
“Because I know you love me.” He took a step closer and I readjusted
the gun in my hand. “Feel your heart. Feel it beating.”
My breath shook as I exhaled slowly. “Come closer, I’ll shoot you.”
“It takes a very cold person to do that. And that’s not you.”
That’s not you.
But it’s all I’ve ever known.
Hot tears ran down my face. I took a hand off the gun to quickly wipe
them away.
“You’re not what you pretend to be. You’re not heartless. You’re not
evil.”
“Zach… Stop.”
 He stepped closer. “You care about the people you love and you love
them the hardest. You’re beautiful, and smart, and strong; so much stronger
than I could ever be.”
I pressed my lips together as silent tears burned streaks down my
cheeks.
“But you’re not cold. You have the biggest, purest heart out of all of
us.” When Zach closed the distance between us, the gun in my hand tipped
up, pointing under his chin.
His breath fanned my face and for a moment, I felt my wet cheeks dry.
His hands came up, cupping my face, and the feeling was so comforting, I
fought to not close my eyes. Pushing the hair out of my face, he wiped
away my tears, which only made more fall down.
“You’re the most sensitive person I know, and I love that about you.”
I felt my lip tremble. His thumbs wiped away tear after tear.
“It’s not a weakness, baby. None of this is your fault; it’s all mine. And
I’m so sorry.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, but the tears didn’t stop.
“I’m so fucking sorry that I was the one to hurt you out of everyone;
that I’m the reason you’re crying. But I’m going to spend the rest of my life
apologizing, and making it up to you. I’m ready to accept any punishment
you think I deserve. So go ahead.”
His hand engulfed mine as he lowered the gun from under his chin;
pointing the muzzle right against his heart.
“Zach…” My whisper was so low I didn’t think he heard it.
“It’s always been yours.”
Always.
“You’ve only really known me for three months.”
The corner of his mouth tipped with the smallest smile. “I’ve known
you my whole life.”
I tried to look away; he pulled me right back, leaning in close. I stared
into his eyes. He was right; I couldn’t do it – because in all honesty, I didn’t
want to. My hand holding the gun dropped to my side.
“Why didn’t you keep me here?” I whispered.
“You know why.”
He wanted to be with me, even not knowing if I’d try to kill him one
day?
“Why not get somebody else to do it?”
 His eyes set like the sun. “I’d kill them before they touched a hair on
your head.”
Another moment passed and Zach took a deep breath, his eyes turning
glossy for a moment. “I wish I had known you when we were younger. I’m
aware I don’t know half of what you’ve been through, but I would’ve
protected you. No one would’ve hurt you.”
The girl inside me – the one still stuck in that beige room without a
family; the one lost, wandering the streets alone at night with no home or
purpose; the one who had to fight everything and everyone. I felt her heal
inside me.
I wish I had known you when we were younger. I would’ve protected
you.
The image of Zach as a kid, giving little me a hug, floated into my
mind.
The confession hit me in the deepest part of my soul, and I dropped my
head, feeling years of suppressed pain and trauma flood out of my eyes.
Zach pulled me in, wrapping his arms around me so tightly I cried into
his chest. He held me and I’d never felt safer – not even when I was the one
holding the gun.
“I would hunt them down and kill… Every. Last. One.” His hand
cupped the back of my head, stroking down in soothing ways. He kissed the
top of my head, murmuring into my hair, “But my girl already took care of
that.”
The smallest laugh choked out of me through the sobs.
“Always so strong,” He murmured. “Never weak. Always a force.”
He held me for a long time. Even after I ran out of tears, I didn’t let go.
I needed to stay like that just for a moment longer.
“Por favor, mi amor. Perdóname.”
The raw honesty of his words pierced me right in the chest. God, I
wanted to forgive him. I wanted to forget everything. I wanted to pretend
the past two weeks hadn’t happened; that we never left his penthouse that
night I whispered I love you into the dark. That everything was okay
because he knew how wrong he’d been. That him being in as much
heartbreak as I made this any better.
But it didn’t.
And I couldn’t move on.
 He was sorry. I knew he was. But that didn’t change the fact that
everything had already happened. He couldn’t change the past. He couldn’t
take the words he’d said to me back. He couldn’t make me forget.
I wasn’t sure there was anything that could convince me to be with
Zach again. I still loved him despite trying not to – and even though I knew
I’d done nothing wrong by falling for him, I still felt weak and stupid.
Turned out love wasn’t as easy to get rid of as physical scars.
And I still missed him all the time. I missed him at night when he
wasn’t there to hold me. I missed him in the morning when he wasn’t the
first one I saw when I woke up. I missed him all the times in between
because he always made me feel better; safer – more comfortable.
But I had too much pride and self-respect to go back to the same man
who’d hurt me. If I forgave him, he’d just hurt me again – and the second
time it would be my fault.
I took a deep breath and stepped away. Without making eye contact, I
held out his gun.
“Baby, don’t leave…”
So much of me didn’t want to leave. But I had to. For myself.
When he made no effort to reach for the Glock, I bent down and laid it
on the floor. Then, I walked away.
Zach didn’t stop me again, but I felt his eyes burn into my back,
begging me to stay – which was exactly why I refused to look him in the
face.
Once I was out of his view, I ran up the cement staircase and pushed
the fire exit door open, making it above ground. Gravel crunched under my
sneakers as I came to a halt, my chest heaving. It was dark now, and
Manhattan’s blinding lights reflected into the river.
A single tear burned down my cheek.
I was doing the right thing. So why was it tearing me in half?
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 42

Present
“I HEARD YOU ARE NO longer seeing Zachary Di’Ablo. What
happened?”
I slightly flinched, coming back to reality from sitting in my thoughts.
Francesca’s mother, Silvia DeMone, took a seat on the fancy white couch
across from me. Once every few months, I was invited over for tea and
gossip. Silvia was everyone’s favorite mom, and I always had fun with her
and Francesca.
“We… had different intentions.”
Francesca raised an eyebrow from one of the armchairs to my side, her
look saying we had one very similar intention: killing each other.
Since finding out Zach had been the captive in Mexico, I had to ask
Francesca if she knew and kept it from me. Turned out, Francesca didn’t
even personally know Zach back then – she’d heard her dad complaining
about the missing shipment on the phone and decided to take care of it first.
By taking initiative, she was able to impress her dad which then finally
allowed her to enter the family business.
Up until a few days ago, she had no idea there’d even been a captive on
the island. I couldn’t blame Zach for keeping the whole situation a secret.
A maid entered the room with a tray of fine china and Tres Leches,
placing it on the glass coffee table. When she was done pouring Sicilian
herbal tea for everyone, I picked up my plate with the sweet treat and dived
in.
“Couldn’t have been the sex.”
The cake went the wrong way, making me cough.
“Mom!”
 “I must say I never thought of Zachary as someone lacking in that
category.”
“Well… It’s not why we broke up.” I answered truthfully.
“Oh, my God…” Francesca covered her face with her hands, making us
laugh.
Silvia nonchalantly took a sip from her fancy cup. “There’s still this
glow about you.”
I exhaled another laugh. “If by ‘glow’ you mean pissed off, then sure.”
“In all these years I haven’t even heard of you looking at a man twice.
Even Francesca confirmed there was something special between you and
Zachary.”
I gasped, turning to Francesca who was applying red lipstick. “That’s
not–”
“I only speak the truth,” She clarified, flipping her platinum-blonde
hair – inherited from her mother, just like their shared beauty.
“Say whatever you want, but something’s changed since the last time I
saw you.” Silvia shook her head, like she understood my situation perfectly,
despite not knowing any of the details. “And I have a strong feeling it has
something to do with him.”
I sighed, too tired to think of an answer that didn’t reveal the semantics
of my ex-relationship – if you could even call it that.
“You should be careful with this one, cara. He might just be the one to
finally sweep you off your feet.”
He already has.
Despite my disapproval, I couldn’t help but admire Silvia’s knowing
motherly smile. I wished she’d been right about Zach and me. For a
moment, I let myself live in the fantasy – what would our future have even
looked like?
Falling in love was supposed to be beautiful.
But of course, like with everything else in my life, I crashed and
burned.

Locking the front door behind me, I stepped into the dark apartment.
Tea at the DeMone’s was always fancy and tonight had been no exception.
 Since I was still staying at Natalia’s, she let me borrow a small, black
dress along with a pair of red bottoms. We happened to be the same size in
everything, so sharing had always been a no-brainer.
As I stepped into the open living room space and flipped the light
switch of a lamp on, a shadow came into my peripheral view.
Natalia was busy tonight and wouldn’t come home, so my mind
immediately went to Ruiz.
I turned around with lightning speed, only for my heart to skyrocket in
my chest when I saw who it actually was.
“Oh, my God…” I rushed over and lowered in front of the couch. Zach
was lying down, eyes closed and clothes covered in blood. “What the hell
happened?!”
He groaned, opening his eyes slowly and scowling at the dim lightning.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he pushed up slightly to look around – like
he couldn’t remember how he’d gotten here.
So much for staying away from each other.
When he saw me, he froze. His midnight eyes melted into mine and it
was just like before. Liquid fire flooded through my bloodstream, burning
deep inside me.
I forced myself to look away. Grabbing the hem of his blood-stained
white T-shirt, I pulled it up to inspect the wound below. A gauze pad was
stuck to the side of his body.
Finally, I exhaled in relief. He’d only been grazed by a bullet – nothing
fatal.
My finger brushed over the medical fabric, unintentionally sending
goosebumps over Zach’s golden skin. My gaze slid to his six-pack. Blood
splattered over inked, tan muscle. My mouth went dry and I became
embarrassingly aware of our skin-to-skin contact. I resisted the nostalgic
urge to dig my sharp nails into his muscles.
I quickly pulled his shirt back down before standing up.
“Why are you here?” I was uncharacteristically out of breath.
He stood up too, towering over me and stealing a glance down my
body. “Nice dress.”
“Get to the point.”
Rubbing the back of his neck, he stepped forward – into me – so, I was
forced to take a step back because I was trying to avoid as much contact
with this man as possible. I didn’t care if it was excessive – I was protecting
my peace.
Except my body seemed to want the opposite…
Zach was the first man to make me burn.
Everything about him screamed secure masculinity and sexual appeal;
the way he pinned me with those black eyes, when he bought me flowers
just because, how he never raised his voice – not even when he thought I
tried to kill him. The way he always put my needs, pleasure and happiness
before his. The fact that he understood me to a level my friends could never
get to know. He’d seen the deepest, darkest corners of my soul and only
wanted me more.
Just being in this man’s presence – with his messy hair, ripped shirt,
and blood splattered everywhere – was enough to drive my hormones crazy.
“I thought it was you at first,” Zach replied, motioning to his wound.
So he’d been taken by surprise.
“What makes you think it wasn’t?” I questioned, crossing my arms
over my chest. I hadn’t wasted any time in the past two weeks keeping track
of Zach, but he didn’t know that. After the shit he pulled, I had every right
to finish what he thought I started three years ago.
Zach gave a knowing look. “They missed.”
‘Don’t miss,’ He teased, his lips brushing my ear as his arms wrapped
back around me.
I bit my cheek to stop my smile. ‘I never miss.’
“You should go.” I glanced at the floor, clearing my throat. “Natalia’s
going to be home soon.”
“No, she’s not.”
My eyes snapped back to his, only to see he’d been glancing down too.
I looked down to realize my crossed arms had been pushing my chest up the
entire time. The dress’ neckline was lace – so dainty, my boobs were close
to popping out.
I immediately dropped my arms.
“Asshole,” I muttered, walking away. If I left, I didn’t know where I
would go. All I knew was I couldn’t stay here, with him, because I was
already burning up.
“It was Ruiz who tried to kill me.”
His words stopped me. “How do you know?”
“Because the shooter confirmed to Zane. Post-torture.”
 I still hadn’t spoken to Zane since he lied to me about meeting in
Brooklyn. I took it as him taking Zach’s side in this. “You two friends now,
or something?”
“Or something.”
Placing a hand on the wall, I lazily pulled my Louboutin heels off. With
my back still facing him, I felt his eyes burn the trail of my movements.
“Still doesn’t explain why you’re here.”
“We have to work together on this.”
That made me laugh. I turned to face him again, only to catch him
checking me out – again. “Seriously?”
His eyes snapped back to mine, not a hint of shame or regret.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to get rid of you. Not spend
more time with you.”
Zach smiled as he rubbed his jaw, closing the distance between us
again. “If you want to get rid of me that bad…”
I almost smirked at the venom in his words. I’d hit a nerve. Mention
anything about putting distance between us and tension rolled off him in
tsunamis.
“Then we have to get rid of Ruiz.” He stopped in front of me, forcing
me to tip my chin up. “I mean… It’s what’s pulling us back together.”
I knew what he was doing. He knew I knew.
“If you really wanted us to be over…” His hand came up, trailing my
collarbone, and my body hummed with intensity. Despite everything, I
loved this man’s hands on me. It made me feel alive. My blood roared when
he pushed my hair back, exposing my naked shoulder. “You’d tie our loose
ends.”
Bing.
Zach didn’t look away from me as he dug his phone out of his pocket.
Soon as he glanced at it, he smirked, showing me the screen.
A text from Zane with Ruiz’s live location.
“What’s it going to be, Pérez?”
My eyes burned into his. “Let’s get this over with.”
OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 43

Present
SOMETHING FELT WRONG.
It couldn’t be this easy.
Not after everything.
“Hey.” I glanced up at Zach; the frown on his face mirroring my own
ironically making me feel worse about the situation. He could feel it too.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” I rolled my shoulders, ignoring the blasting rhythm of my
pulse, and walked with more determination into the darkness of the
abandoned subway. City Hall station, in lower Manhattan, had been closed
off to the public since the forties; the New York Transit Museum offered
tours a few times a year, but tonight was not one of them.
As we descended the stairs to the platform, the sick feeling in my
stomach intensified. I’d never even had adrenaline on a previous mission;
but tonight my chest was tightening with anxiety.
Holding my riffle up, I looked through the night-vision visor and
scanned the area. Dead silent. I lowered my arms and turned to Zach. “You
sure you got the right coordinates?”
I gasped when he jumped onto the tracks.
“They’re in the tunnels,” He clarified, extending his hand out to me.
This was nothing compared to jumping rooftops in Shanghai; crossing
forests in Russian winters; exploring the huts in Rio in search of my target.
Yet, my heart pounded in my chest with unease. Goosebumps rose on my
skin as I glanced into the pitch-black abyss of the tunnel. At least here, the
moon and city lights somewhat illuminated through some of the ceiling
windows. There… was nothing.
 I refused to think as I grabbed Zach’s hand in mine and used his
support to jump down.
“Careful,” He rasped into the dark, guiding me over the metal rails as
my eyes adjusted. His big palm squeezed my hand protectively, sending
heat in shock waves through my body.
Clearing my throat, I pulled my hand away and grabbed my rifle. Zach
gave me a side glance before grabbing his gun too. Take away the three
weeks we’d been broken up, I couldn’t remember the last time he didn’t
hold my hand. It was easy to forget and fall back into a comfortable routine.
My shoe caught onto a piece of the railing. I lost my balance and fell
forward, extending my arms and expecting a nasty fall. It was pitch black;
there could be anything on the ground, from used needles to broken glass
bottles.
A strong, protective arm wrapped around my waist, holding me up.
Zach grabbed me under the arms and helped me back on my feet.
“Thanks,” I whispered and tried to step away.
But he didn’t let me go. His hands ran down the sides of my body,
stopping just under my breasts and squeezing my rib cage. The pressure
dropped between my legs like a weight, making me dizzy.
“Where’s your vest?”
“Huh?”
“Where. Is. Your. Vest.” His voice sent goosebumps over my skin.
My heart spasmed in my chest. Fuck. The bulletproof vest he handed
me before we sneaked underground.
“I– I umm… ” I tried to focus and answer. But his body was so close to
mine, rising and falling with ragged breaths, and brushing my chest, that it
took longer than usual to respond. “I left it in the car.”
Through all the chaos and rushing to get to the location… I forgot.
Not even a second went by before I heard him move in front of me,
faintly making out his silhouette. Then, he was putting something over my
head and wrapping it around my waist.
It took another second for it to click: his bulletproof vest.
“Zach. Stop.”
He didn’t; only tightened the material around my body. He never
listened.
Frustration ignited inside me and I grabbed his hands to undo the vest.
“I’ll be fine without–”
 “I know.” His hand on my chin stilled me. He leaned in close in the
dark, his breath fanning over my lips. “But there’s not a chance in hell I’m
risking it.”
I gulped, ignoring the goosebumps forming on my skin from the
warmth of his hand. “What about you?”
I practically heard him smirk. “Worried about me, baby?”
Pushing past him, I continued making my way through the tunnel. “Just
thought it’d be a chance to steal that G-wagon from you.”
His dark chuckle followed behind me, though no protest was made.
Something sparked in my chest. He’d buy me a million and a half car if it
meant I might forgive him.
We both stopped at the same time when a light flickered far ahead. It
was barely visible but it was there; right around the corner as the tunnel
swerved to the side.
Zach lowered his head to mine, brushing my ear. “Ready?”
I answered by pulling back the bolt on my rifle.
Keeping close to the wall, we advanced. The closer we got, the bigger
the light and the clearer the moving shadows became. They were on a
platform; not on the tracks.
Zach looked back at me and we both nodded. Turning the corner, we
pointed our guns at the targets.
Except no one was there.
A projector worked in the corner.
Then we saw the small device on the platform.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Down!”
My hands latched onto Zach as he football-tackled into me, taking us
both to the ground and back around the corner we came from. I stifled a
groan because his big hands protected my fall; one cupping the back of my
head, the other on my lower back.
There was dust and smoke everywhere. A ringing in my ears I couldn’t
escape. Everything felt lagged.
“You good?” Zach’s breath warmed my cheek, pulling me back to
normal.
I nodded. “Good.”
He pushed off me, keeping to the ground, and as I raised my head, I
noticed a big cement piece from the platform floor had crashed into the
ground, just meters away from our feet. The air was still dense and grey
when bullets started flying above our heads.
Zach and I crawled behind the cement rock at the same time, using it as
a shield.
“It’s an ambush.”
“What now?”
My eyes met his. “We finish this once and for all.”
We looked at each other for another moment before nodding. Taking
our own side, we peered behind the cement plate and began shooting. The
air had somewhat cleared and I watched masked soldiers, dressed in all
black, fall to the ground like flies.
“Stop!” A familiar voice boomed through the tunnel and all opposing
fire stopped. “Come out, Ángel,” She sang like a lunatic.
Zach threw me a glance but I shook my head, and he read my mind. We
hid back behind the cement and waited for the right moment.
“Come kill me with your hands, Ángel.” Ruiz’s voice grew disturbed.
Not falling for that again. I didn’t care about making her suffer. I just
wanted her dead. A bullet to the head would suffice.
“Nah, you’ve always been a disappointing fight,” I shouted from
behind the barrier.
“And you’ve always been a disappointing daughter.”
I faltered. What?
“So much potential... Such a failure.”
The cold cement against my back sent a chill down my spine.
“I mean look at your life. You’re nothing. A nobody.” Ruiz’s words
bounced off the tunnel walls. “I knew it right there in the delivery room
when you smiled like your father.”
Zach’s hand grounded me. “Don’t listen. It’s a distraction.”
“I remember,” I whispered, my eyes locked on the brick wall ahead of
me.
It wasn’t clear. I was too young; at most three years old. But faint
memories came back to me.
Ruiz. Crying. Screaming. A man crawling on the floor in a pool of
blood. Police. Beige room. Ruiz.
“Guess the cat’s out of the bag.” A hysterical laugh. “You know…
You’re just like your father: weak and pathetic. Nothing like me. I don’t
even regret slitting his throat in the kitchen.”
 “Maria…” I felt Zach’s hand grip my wrist. I didn’t even realize I’d
stood up, out from behind the barrier.
“You might look like me...”
Ruiz stood dead in the center of the tunnel. I stared at her. At her hazel
eyes. And dark, brown hair. Same tan skin. Same straight nose. Same
height.
“Holy shit…” Zach muttered standing up by my side. Guess he saw it
too.
“But you’re just like him…” Disgust coasted my mother’s voice.
“Selfish. Ungrateful. A fucking leech.”
Zach’s hand tightened on my wrist, his other on his rifle hanging by his
side.
My chest heaved in a frenzy. “You fucking ruined my life.”
“I. Haven’t. Even. Started.”
I didn’t know how it all happened.
Somehow, I was pushed down, hitting the ground; hard.
Gunshots rippled through the air.
I lifted my head just in time to see them pierce through Zach’s chest.
Bullet after bullet drilled through skin and muscle. I watched the life drain
out of him when he fell back with the force of the shots.
“Zach!” My cry shattered through the air.
With the cement boulder protecting me, I pulled him behind the barrier
too. I struggled to drag his heavy body, but there was no other option.
There were four holes in his chest; too close to a vital organ breaking
inside my own ribcage.
That should’ve been me.
But he pushed me out of the way.
‘Do you have any idea how scared I was when I couldn’t find you in the
water? All I knew was, I wasn’t going back up without you. I jumped after
you. Risked my own life. FOR YOU.’
This wasn’t the first time he’d chosen my life over his own.
He couldn’t die for me.
Not like this. Not now. Not ever.
My eyes lowered to the bulletproof vest wrapped around me. His
bulletproof vest.
Fresh blood leaked out of the wounds, soaking his white T-shirt red.
 If I wouldn’t have forgotten my vest… He’d be wearing his right now.
And there’d be no blood.
“Zach. Open your eyes.” I spoke sternly, holding his face in my hands.
It wasn’t a suggestion – it was a command. He had to. “Open your eyes,” I
repeated, though this time it sounded more like a plead.
I checked the pulse in his neck.
Bu-bum.
Bu-bum.
Bu-bum.
But his eyes were closed. And I knew, even I wouldn’t be able to force
them open without urgent medical care.
My vision blurred, making me squeeze my eyes shut. I felt a tear leak
out, only to fall on his cold cheek.
A rage so venomous exploded in my chest…
I blacked out.
I’d only ever experienced that type of darkness once before in my life:
five years ago in Cuba. The way this all started. But back then I fought to
save my own life. This time, I fought to save someone else’s.
When I came back to myself, my chest was heaving with adrenaline
and I was standing in a pool of blood.
For a second, I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of a
bullseye mirror in the ceiling corner. Scarlet was splattered across my face
and I looked nothing less than insane.
A whimper of pain made me look to the side, over the dead bodies of
the dirty agents and masked soldiers.
My mother was on the floor, clutching her stomach – blood leaking out
of two gunshots. Her arm was reaching desperately – pathetically – for a
gun.
She didn’t hear me approach her – not until my shoe crunched the
bones in her hand. Her scream vibrated in my own bones, feeding relief into
my veins.
Ruiz coughed out blood as I reached for the gun.
“I made you who you are! You’re nothing without–”
The bullet I put between her eyes shut her up for good.
Sirens echoed down the walls of the Brooklyn Bridge subway station.
I glanced back at Zach laying unmoving on the ground.
 I’d abandoned him three years ago in México. Two weeks ago in
Queens.
What was once more?

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 44

Present
IMMENSE PAIN SHOT THROUGH MY body. I tried to move but my
muscles ached and blood roared in my head. Forcing my eyes open, it took
several blinks before I was able to see clearly in front of me.
Groaning in suppressed pain, I glanced around what looked like an
empty hospital room. There were IV’s injected into me and monitors
beeping and shit. I didn’t know how I’d gotten there.
Did the wound from the bullet that grazed me end up getting infected?
Checking the screen on the wall, with the date and time, I saw it was only
the morning after.
Looking down, I pulled my hospital gown apart to see four gauze pads
along with a tube draining blood out of my chest.
What the…
My face fell, remembering everything.
City Hall station. Ruiz. Getting shot.
Alarm bells rang through my head before I remembered seeing Ruiz
fall back as I also caught her with two bullets in the stomach. There was no
way Maria couldn’t have handled that.
Maria.
Like a dumbass, I looked around the room again as if I didn’t already
know I was alone. Of course, she wasn’t here. She probably already left the
country.
Defeat washed over me, making me close my eyes. An ache spread
through my chest, muting the pain of my gunshot wounds.
 I wondered how she was doing; how she was feeling. We’d just found
out Ruiz was her… biological mom. Who’d also lied about it her whole life
and tried to kill her. It was to say the least… extremely fucked up. I wished
I could console her.
If there was something I was grateful for, it was giving Maria my
bulletproof vest. My blood iced just thinking of the wrong ways last night
could’ve gone.
I wasn’t ready to go back to life without her just yet. At least, when my
eyes were closed, I could see her. Her soft smile, her serene eyes, her
chocolate hair…
I kept my eyes closed, in hope I might fall asleep and dream of her.
Moments later, the door to the room opened, but I kept pretending I
was still out – ignoring whatever nurse had come in to check my vitals and
shit.
But then I heard sniffles, and a familiar scent invaded me.
I froze. Was I still dreaming?
She climbed into the bed, next to me, and snuggled her face into the
side of my body. I didn’t dare move, as if she’d disappear if I even breathed
the wrong way.
“I hate you.” Her whisper cut into me – the cracks fixing inside me,
breaking again – but her soft cries slashed me open. “I hate you for taking
those bullets for me.”
Opening my eyes, I marveled at the way she clutched onto me, as if I
was her only source of life. I watched her push her face into the side of my
body – while still avoiding touching my wounds.
I couldn’t have moved even if I tried to.
She spoke again, after catching her breath, “I’m so sorry… I should’ve
told you I loved you too. Now you might never know and it’s all my fault.”
Her hand took hold of mine. “I think I hate myself more than you hated me
or I, you. I wish you could forgive me.” Her body shook as her tears soaked
into my side. “I miss you. Please don’t leave me.”
“You love me?” I rasped, wrapping my arms around her.
Maria jumped, looking at me like she’d just seen a ghost. Her eyes
were red and her cheeks stained with mascara. Hair ruffled and lips raw
from her biting them.
She was so beautiful it hurt.
 I’d missed looking at her and having her look back at me without
stone-cold eyes.
But then she was scrambling off the bed. “I need to get the doctor!”
I grabbed her and pulled her back, a lot closer than before.
“Zach, I need to–”
“You love me?” I interrupted her, palming the back of her neck.
Nothing about me was gentle.
I’d waited too fucking long.
Fucked up too much.
Lost her too many fucking times.
I needed to know.
I needed to know I’d never have to watch her walk away from me
again.
Switching between her eyes, I sternly scanned her face, almost
expecting a sign of doubt.
But there wasn’t. Her eyes softened; so much I thought she couldn’t
possibly be looking at me like that.
“Yeah…” Her hand went to my neck as she leaned in, kissing my
forehead. “I need to get the doctor–”
“They can wait. I fucking did for three years.” And with that I pulled
her in, smashing my lips on hers. I kissed her like a man starved, forcing
my tongue through her parted lips and devouring her. “I love you,” I
groaned against her lips, breathing her in.
“I love you.” Her lips brushed mine. “Always have.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
A dark sound of satisfaction rumbled in my chest and I kissed her
harder. When she moaned in my mouth, I knew I was about to make her
ride my cock in this hospital bed.
“Doctor,” she mumbled. I kept going, making it clear I wasn’t stopping.
But then she whispered against my lips, “Please… For me…”
I pulled back, pleased to see her cheeks flushed and lips swollen.
 I stood by Zach’s side as the doctor checked him. Matteo, Zach’s
brother stood on the other side of the room, talking to another doctor and
handling paperwork. Zach had mentioned him before, but we’d never met –
until a few hours ago when the hospital called him.
Trevor, Zane, Natalia, and the DeMone siblings had all showed up too;
Kali was still on her way, on a flight from Tokyo. They waited outside with
me the whole night while Zach was in surgery and I cried in Natalia’s arms.
After Zach woke up and saw them for a few minutes, they went home to
sleep – at seven in the morning.
There’d been no issue with the police since the scene at the Brooklyn
Bridge subway station was crossed off as a terrorist attack. It hadn’t been
Kingpin Diablo present at the crime scene, but billionaire businessman
Zachary Di’Ablo. At first, I was worried there’d be issues with the fact I
took him to a hospital with four bullets in his chest, but Zach and Matteo
were so high up, nothing could touch them.
Zach’s strong arm was wrapped tightly around my waist as if I might
disappear if he let go. With my own arms crossed over my chest, I brushed
my fingers over his. He wasted no time before interconnecting them.
“Waking up only 5 hours after being close to fatally shot. You are
strong as a horse, Mr Di’Ablo. I’ve never seen anything like it…” The
doctor went on about Zach’s impressive bounce-back.
Zach flashed me a smirk. He was back to himself, as if nothing had
happened – while I still had mascara on my cheeks and an ache in my own
chest. There hadn’t been a moment in those five hours that I wasn’t balling
my eyes out.
“Big like one too…” Zach drawled, only for me to hear. I smacked his
hand lightly, making him chuckle, pressing his face into the side of my
body. My hand went to the back of his neck, holding him close.
I slept in his arms for two nights in that hospital bed until he was
dispatched. I didn’t leave his side once, not even to get food; Matteo
brought it to us. I kept Zach company; we talked for hours like we always
did.
This time, I told him the whole truth about my childhood, Cuba, how I
became an agent, meeting Francesca, what happened that night in México,
the time before we met in that club and the time we spent together, Ruiz
showing up in my life again, and what really that folder was about. When
he asked me how I felt knowing Ruiz was my mother… I told him I didn’t
feel anything; she might have been my biological parent, but she’d never
been my family. I was glad that part of my life was over.
Zach told me about his childhood, growing up in New York while his
brother ran the Cartel in South America, playing college basketball and
wanting to go pro, how he didn’t want to take over the family business at
first but had no choice, what happened that night in México, the time before
he found me in that club and the time we spent together, how he hated
himself for what happened in Queens, and how he’d take a thousand more
bullets for me.
I held him tightly and thanked God; Zach was so strong he’d have a
quick recovery. I cried seeing the wounds on his chest, when the doctors
had to change his bandages; Zach wiped the tears away and kissed my
forehead. I paid attention to everything the doctors said, because I was
going to be taking care of him until he was healed. I ran my nails through
his hair and massaged his head until he fell asleep.
I didn’t tell him his heart flatlined on the way to the hospital.

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER 45
ONE MONTH LATER

Present
I WAS PULLED OUT OF my sleep by a warm heavy weight settling
on my waist. My eyes fluttered open to black silky sheets and the lights of
New York City blurring through the floor-to-ceiling windows.
I slightly moved my head, blinking again, to see a familiar dark wood
nightstand. On it: my phone, watch, hoop earrings, and an electronic clock
reading one in the morning. Above the bed, an abstract painting I hadn't
paid much attention to before: a girl's face in black and white, all blurred
apart from her eyes, which remained intact. Her long, dark hair, messy and
wild, cascaded down her shoulders.
The familiar smell of smoke, sage and wood filled my senses as the
weight on my waist intensified. I glanced down to see Zach's strong arm
around me. My mouth went dry: black ink spread across smooth tan
muscle, over expensive black sheets.
His hold on me tightened, pulling me closer. A weird feeling came over
me: my skin warmed and buzzed at his touch, yet a knot grew in my throat
and my eyes began to sting. A distant thought crossed my mind; I don't
want to be apart from him ever again.
His palm slid down, settling on my lower tummy; his fingers slightly
underneath the band on my thong. A rush of heat exploded in my chest
before dropping between my legs.
My back was flush against his strong chest, and even though he wasn't
hard, his cock still pressed against my ass intimidatingly. A hot shiver ran
through my veins, making my body burn with comfort.
If I looked closely, I could trail the faint outline of my body, his arm
around me, and his head above mine on the pillow.
I laid there for a while, staring out at the city beneath Zach's penthouse,
thinking. I still had my apartment, but had only been there to get my clothes
and things. Since I’d been taking care of Zach – apart from when a doctor
came to check on him once a day – I hadn’t left his side; we’d lived
together for the past month.
My favorite time was when he let me wash his hair in the shower
because he wasn’t allowed to lift his arms. Wrapping his arms around me,
he closed his eyes and held me close while I massaged his head.
One night, over dinner, he asked me to move in. I laughed and told him
I hadn’t left his place for weeks. His face remained still, telling me he was
serious. He was so nervous, I had to hide my smile by wrapping my arms
around his neck and whispering yes in his ear.
I didn't realize Zach woke up until he kissed my neck, his mouth hot
and wet on my skin. A shiver took over my body and I raised my shoulder
to close his access, attempting to pull away.
The doctors clearly said ‘absolutely no exercise or anything that would
accelerate the heart rate’ for at least a month. I had barely even kissed Zach,
because he couldn’t just kiss; no, he did it like everything else – with his all.
Safe to say, sex and blowjobs had also been a no, though he hadn’t
mentioned them at all. What he tried to get me to do every night was sit on
his face. The temptation had been there, but I was strictly following
doctors’ orders.
I never wanted to hurt him again, and he was still healing. The risk was
too big and not worth losing him.
But what both of us missed was that deeper connection – that feeling
when we were so lost in each other that the world stopped for a moment and
it was just us. And nothing else mattered; not his past or mine.
I only made it an inch away from him before his hand moved over my
skin, his fingers gripping my hip and pulling me back.
“Zach...” My words came out a breathless whisper, as I moved my hand
down, grabbing his wrist.
“It’s been a month,” He murmured back, laying kiss after kiss on my
shoulder and arm. I didn't reply but my response was clear when his teeth
lightly bit my shoulder and my back arched back into him as a soft groan
escaped my lips.
My grip on his wrist loosened and I pulled my hand back up, resting it
next to my face on the pillow. My body relaxed into him, allowing Zach to
continue kissing around my neck and back. Soft pants brushed past my lips.
The hand he was holding my waist with loosened, gliding over my ass;
fingers brushed over my skin, before going back and grabbing me roughly. I
turned my face into the pillow, muffling a small moan.
He laid a kiss on the top of my head before going back to my shoulder.
He released the grip on my ass, before sliding his fingers between my
thighs and over the damp material of my panties.
“Zach, wait...” I gasped, moving to stop him.
This was wrong. The doctors said ‘at least a month,’ so–
Before my hand even made it off the pillow, he pinned it above my
head. I tried moving my other hand but it was trapped between my body
and his.
His fingers slid over my thong, teasing my throbbing clit. Excitement
exploded in my belly, but I forced through it. Instead, I swung my hips to
try get away from his touch. I craved it and I wanted to let him touch me
everywhere, but I controlled myself.
His hand left my body for a moment before crashing down on my ass,
pushing me down into the mattress. I couldn't move anything anymore.
“You're gonna be a good girl and take me,” He growled in my ear, his
voice like dark velvet in my head.
At the same time, his hand moved over my waist, between my body
and the mattress, underneath my thong and between my legs. I quickly
pressed my thighs together, closing his access again and stopping him from
feeling how wet I was for him. I squeezed them so tight, I crossed my legs
so he couldn't move his hand any lower.
Before I could understand what he was doing, he pulled his hand away,
using it to push my legs apart. Then, he swung a leg over the back of my
thighs, pressing them down to keep them open. The duvet fell on the floor
and cold air hit between my legs.
Zach's hand trailed up the inside of my thigh, leaving goosebumps
behind, before pulling my thong to the side and dipping between my legs. I
moaned into the pillow.
 “So wet for me,” He groaned in my ear and I just knew he had the
biggest smirk on his face.
He wasn’t wrong. I wanted him; bad.
We hadn’t had sex since before Queens, meaning almost two months. If
it wouldn’t have been for the worry grounding me, I would’ve gone crazy.
He spread my wetness before starting to rub me in circles. Other, more
powerful moans escaped me. He kept teasing me before pushing a finger
inside. I was able to control my voice but couldn't stop my back from
arching.
He pulled out, continuing to play with my clit. After a few moments, he
pushed two fingers inside of me. I groaned into the pillow, refusing to let
him know how much I liked what he was doing to me.
The filthy sounds of his fingers pumping in and out of me filled the
room, accompanied by his low breaths, my muffled whimpers and the
sound of rain against the windows.
“You're making a mess in my palm,” Zach murmured in my ear and I
groaned in desperation – both because I was about to come and because he
was winning. I tensed my abdomen and thighs, trying to prevent my
orgasm.
“I want you to come for me, hermosa,” His silky voice wrapped around
me, stopping all thoughts going through my brain.
I want to.
I want to let him take me over and over again. But I've never been one
to give up a good chase.
I quickly, almost violently, shook my head in denial, not trusting myself
to speak with enough convincing confidence. His movements slowed before
stopping altogether, along with my near orgasm. His fingers slipped out of
me, leaving me feeling cold and empty. Trailing the wetness up my ass, he
settled his palm over my lower back dimples.
“No?” Zach’s voice was undetectable.
Is he mad? Turned on? Both?
The room filled with silence, only broken by my harsh deep breaths.
Anticipation increased my heartbeat.
What was he going to do?
Before another thought had the chance to cross my mind, my body
jerked as the sound of fabric tearing filled the room. I felt a slight burn
between my legs and on my chest; he ripped off my thong and bra.
 He lifted me up in the air, before falling down on his chest. The
moment my body connected with his, his fingers plunged inside of me
again. Wrapping his other hand around the back of my neck, he held my
face up so I looked straight at him. Surprise electrocuted through my body
at the feel of his fingers inside me, and my arms shot out, grabbing onto his
biceps for dear life.
He fingered me so deep and so right, I moved up and down his chest
with each thrust, my clit rubbing against his rock-hard abs. My eyes rolled
to the back of my head and I closed them so he didn't see. His hand moved
from the back of my head to my throat and up, squeezing my cheeks.
“Open.” As the harsh command left his mouth, I opened my eyes. My
orgasm coiled in my stomach, ready to explode any second. “Now be a
good little slut and come.”
I bit my bottom lip at his dirty words.
His face was only inches away from mine, and I felt his warm minty
breath against my lips.
I was so close...
I tensed my body, not ready to give up yet. Pressure built up inside of
me, and tears fell from my eyes. I’d never cried during sex before, but after
a month of no sex and tonight’s intensity, I couldn’t help it.
A cruel smirk spread over his face, “Or are you gonna keep being a bad
girl tonight?”
He pulled his fingers out, before reaching up and using both of his
thumbs to wipe away the tears on my cheeks. Relief flooded my veins as
my orgasm disappeared, and when his hands let go of my face, I dropped
my forehead to his chest in exhaustion; breathing heavy against it, as if I ran
a marathon.
The aftermath of the struggle began to settle and I was so tired, I
couldn't move my body. I didn't think I'd ever held anything for that long.
Zach slowly flipped me over so I was lying on my back. He brushed
the hair from my face, so gently, before kissing me softly.
A moment later he pulled back and climbed between my legs. His
boxers are gone, revealing his long, thick cock; hard and pointing straight
out. There was an obvious vein on its underside that I loved to trail with my
tongue, and he was already leaking with pre-cum.
 Before Maria could react, I grabbed her waist with both hands and
pulled her down the mattress, towards me. She gasped but didn't protest. As
her eyes dropped to my cock again, I fisted my hand around it, stroking up
and down its length to empty my load. Maria pushed up on her elbows, her
mouth parting before her tongue darted out, licking her lips.
I didn't take my eyes off her face. I wanted to see every emotion, every
thought passing her mind right now. However, annoyance built inside me
when her gaze remained on my cock, without the slightest interest
in my face. It turned me on while at the same time pissing me off.
We had barely kissed for over a month because I wasn’t allowed to
increase my heart rate. And now that we were finally being intimate, she
wasn’t going to look into my eyes while I pushed inside her?
Loosening the grip on my shaft, I repeatedly slapped it against her clit.
Surprise coated her features, a soft gasp leaving her lips before her head fell
back in moans and her back arched off the mattress.
I smirked. I loved it when my girl was needy.
When she looked back at me, I used my hands to stretch her apart and
slightly dipped my head...
Her cheeks turned red. “Wh- what are you doing...?”
Opening my mouth, I let my spit drip down her pussy and inside of her,
even though she was already soaked. I slid my cock over her clit, before
dropping it to her entrance and moving it between her sleek folds.
“What does it look like I'm doing?” I teased her back. It was only fair
after the number she just pulled, refusing to orgasm just to spite me. I was
going to make her come so hard she'd fucking see starts. “I'm rubbing my
cock on your wet pussy.”
She tried to speak but her moans kept interrupting her.
I straddled her, pinning her body to the bed. We locked eyes and I
waited for our breaths to sync.
“Come for me, baby." With one quick, hard thrust, I pushed inside of
her.
 Maria gasped and her nails dug into my biceps. I didn't move again,
just stayed there, buried deep inside her.
3... 2... 1...
And she was coming all over my cock.
One stroke was enough to finally tip her over the edge.
Her back arched off the bed, taking me even deeper, and her head fell
back in pleasure as I came inside her. She rocked her hips, shaking
underneath me, and the bedroom filled with her screams. She clenched
around me so tightly, taking every last drop of my cum.
I wanted to lean down and kiss her, but instead, I forced myself to
watch her come undone underneath me. Fuck, I’d missed being this close to
her.
After riding out her orgasm, she slumped against the mattress,
breathing hard. I slid my arms underneath her body, pulling her off the bed
and into me. Her soft tits pressed against my tatted chest.
Maria lazily wrapped her arms around my neck and I slowly grinded
inside her. Her head fell back in pleasure, but she came back up when I
didn't move again.
“Zach...” She whined, grinding her hips against me, but I was holding
her so tight, she didn't gain any movement.
“You want me to make you come again?”
“Yes.” She replied, almost desperately.
Grabbing the back of her neck, I pulled her close to me. “You gonna
keep your body away from me again?”
She immediately shook her head no, looking up at me with big eyes.
When I still didn't move, she whimpered, “Zach… Please...”
I lowered my hand to her throat, squeezing softly, and looked down,
deep in her eyes. “From now on, you only wear my T-shirts around the
house. Nothing else. Nothing underneath.”
Before she could complain, I slowly stroked inside her; just once.
“Mhm...” She nodded, biting her bottom lip.
“You'll strip whenever I want.” I stroked inside her again, deeper than
before.
A moan escaped her lips as her head fell back. “Yes.”
I smirked. “And you're gonna keep giving me those back massages
you're so good at.” This time I stroked so deep, she slummed against my
chest, her hands holding onto my neck.
 “Anything you want.” She smiled, kissing the corner of my mouth.
A groan of approval climbed up my throat. I was the only one who'd
ever been able to get her like this.
Pushing her back down on the bed, I kept my arms around her, holding
my own weight in my forearms. Maria wrapped her legs around me,
keeping her hands around my neck. I pulled out until only the head of my
cock was still in, before I smashed inside her, over and over again.
Instead of the previous long moans, her breaths turned into short, high-
pitched whimpers. The room filled with its erotic music, along with my
groans and the slapping of flesh.
“Who do you belong with?” My voice came out calm, nothing like the
way I was savagely fucking her, so hard and rough she wouldn't walk
straight in the morning.
After nothing but sweet-talk, dinner dates and cuddling for the past
month, I wanted to remind her what only I knew how to do to her.
“You,” She managed to say through whimpers. "I'll always belong with
you."
I hummed in approval, wrapping one of my arms in her hair and pulling
so she looked up at me with dazed eyes and an open mouth.
“And who's pussy is this?” I asked, my other hand coming down hard
on her upper thigh, my fingers digging into her soft skin.
“Yours...” She moaned, trailing off and looking away.
I heard what she said but it wasn't clear enough to my liking. I pulled
her hair again, making her open her eyes, “Who's?”
“Yours!”
“That's my good girl.” I stroked my thumb over the curve of her ass in
soothing sweeps.
Finally, I leaned down, closing the few inches left between us, and
kissed her. She was so exhausted, I dominated the kiss, nipping and biting
on her bottom lip.
“I’m yours, baby,” I mumbled against her lips, before swallowing her
moans. “You're gonna feel me for days.”
I continued smashing in and out of her; one hand around her throat, the
other gripping her ass. My orgasm built at the base of my spine as her
thighs squeezed around me. I didn't pull out, and we kept making out for a
long time after we finished together.
 I tried to keep her busy so she wouldn’t look at my chest, since it made
her sad when she saw the reminders of that night. But then she ran her
hands over my chest, freezing when she felt the scars underneath.
The kiss came to a slow stop as she lowered her eyes. Her manicured
fingers brushed over my chest and the sensitive skin of the four bullet
wounds, sending goosebumps over my body. Even in the dark, she knew
where they were; she’d cleaned them and patched me up every day for the
past month.
Planting her hands on the sides of my body, she leaned in, and placed a
soft kiss on each scar. Her appreciation was a whisper against my heart.
“Thank you.”

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 EPILOGUE

Present
I SIGHED, STRETCHING IN BED, as Zach’s grip tightened on my
waist.
“Good morning…” Rolling onto my side, I wrapped my arms around
his neck and basked in his scent; sage and wood, and man.
“¿Dormiste bien?”
I giggled, when he flipped us over, his hard body pushing me into the
mattress. I loved how big he was; how he was the only man I’d ever been
able to feel safe around; how relaxed and sensual I felt around him.
I had a dark and deadly aura, but Zach’s dominated mine by so far, I
actually felt incorrupt. All I knew, was my dark colors shone for the first
time – around him.
I tended to avoid even thinking about intimacy or sex because of my
past, but these days that seemed to be the only thing on my mind. When I
was with Zach, all I wanted to do was ride him on the couch. When I wasn’t
with him, all I could think about was when he’d come home so he could
fuck me up against the wall in the entry hallway.
Grabbing my hand, his eyes met mine as he kissed the inside of my
wrist, right above the gold bracelet. I was wearing it again; had been since
the shootout. Now, Zach took every chance to show his appreciation for me
never taking it off. No one except us knew how intimate and personal it
was; what the two charms represented.
His hand went into my hair, his lips pressed against mine, and we both
groaned with need into the kiss. “Mi novia.”
“¿Novia?” I smiled, running my nails through his hair. It was a slightly
old-fashioned, but romantic way of saying girlfriend. “A little formal, don’t
you think?”
“Mi chica, then.” My girl.
His mouth covered mine again, kissing me until I was all worked up
and exhausted. I could’ve said the male version of the same endearments
back, but something told me he’d like the following more.
I ran my sharp nails down his chest and chiseled abs. “Mi hombre.” My
man.
A masculine groan of approval rumbled in his chest, and before I knew
it, he was stealing my breath again and ripping off my skimpy night clothes.
In a matter of seconds, we were all over each other. I couldn’t remember the
last time I wasn’t drowning in him. These days, I lived and breathed
everything Zachary Di’Ablo.
He talked me through it, as always. Right against my ear in a deep rasp
– against my lips, neck, stomach, lower.
“Me vuelves loco.”
“No puedo tener suficiente de ti.”
“Tan mojada para mí.”
“Te necesito todo el tiempo.”
“¿No más? Aún no he terminado contigo.”
“¿Cuándo podré atarte y darte esas uvas?”
“Siempre supe que eras mía.”
He’d never talked so much or so dirty in Spanish before. Somehow, it
seemed more raw, more honest, more… real.
“Mi amor… Mi todo…” Buried deep inside me, with my legs wrapped
around him, he said each phrase with a kiss on my cheek, before pulling
away slightly to look me in the eyes. “Te amo.”
I felt my heart expand in my chest. Saying it in English was one thing.
Saying it in our native language…
“Zach…”
“Te amo tanto, hermosa.” His hands went into my hair, holding my face
in the pads of his palms.
My eyes teared up at the gentleness in his movements, and the honesty
in his words. A confession of my own escaped my lips, “I love you so
much, sometimes it hurts my chest.”
Zach’s eyes set like the sun. He pulled me closer, brushing his lips over
mine. “I know, baby. I feel it too.” He guided my hand over his chest and I
felt my palm pass a bullet-wound scar, before settling over his racing heart.
“I love you forever.”
My whole body shut off, before a rush of life hit me like a drug high,
running through my veins and making my heart beat with reason. “Para
siempre?”
“Y siempre.”
All I could do was hold onto him, and feel.

A hard slap landed on my ass, making me gasp under the spray of the
shower. I glanced over my shoulder to shoot Zach a death glare but he was
already walking out. With his back to me, he started drying his hair with a
towel. I took the opportunity to look at him in all his glory: tall, strong and
muscular, with black ink stretching over tan skin.
I allowed my eyes to wander over the tattoos on his back – something I
rarely got to do since he was always facing me; looking at me, watching
me, observing me, admiring me, carrying me, pulling me onto his lap,
pinning me down.
My breath hitched as another gasp escaped me, this one leaving my lips
on its own accord.
I stared into his back but it was like looking in a black-and-white
mirror.
My own pair of eyes stared back at me, needled into the muscles of his
back, right under his shoulder blade.
Soft, angled brows. Long, thick lashes. Siren, sparkling irises. A lazy,
cat-like gaze.
My eyes. Tatted on his skin.
When I glanced up, Zach was already looking at me.
Watching.
Observing.
Over his shoulder, his stare was unbothered, but the weight and burn of
his ebony eyes was so intense, I didn’t dare move.
When I remained frozen in place, Zach closed the distance between us,
wrapping the towel around his hips. His palms burned my waist; holding
me in his hands.
 “When…”
His throat bobbed with a swallow. “After Queens.” He averted his eyes
before meeting mine again. “I was lost. I missed you like crazy. It was the
only thing I knew to do.” As the silence stretched on, my heart stopped
beating. “I couldn’t be with you, but I needed you with me.”
He always made it seem as though my universe was captured in his
black eyes; that when our souls met, I finally knew what it meant to
stargaze.
“Why?”
“So I’ll always have you with me; watching my back. Watching over
me.” His hand went into my hair, pulling me close until his lips brushed
mine. “You’re my guardian angel, baby.” His lips softly brushed over the
scar cutting down my brow and over my eye, and my chest contracted.
“Always have been.”
For the first time in my life, I liked being someone’s angel.

The sun was setting behind the skyscrapers into the calm evening,
basking the city in a smooth mix of reds and yellows. A late-summer breeze
brushed over my tan skin at fifty stories up. The DeMones’ rooftop ‘End of
Summer White-Party’ was thriving with Manhattan nightlife, and the
Empire State Building glowed white in the distance, matching the
ambiance.
One of the Cosa Nostra men, dressed in a sharp white suit to match the
dress code, was discussing business with Matteo at my side; something
about a new drug on the market. Despite my brother being back in charge of
the Cartel while I took some time off, he was doing a shit job at bringing in
new profit.
Matteo wasn’t listening – he was too busy glancing at a certain
platinum-blonde Italian girl with daggers for eyes, who seemed like she
wanted nothing to do with him.
Scanning the crowd, my indifferent gaze turned hot.
 Maria was on the far side of the rooftop bar, leaning against the glass
barrister and talking with her girlfriends.
Damn. I ran a hand over my mouth.
Her hair was long and wavy, reaching her waist; and my hand itched
instinctively, remembering the feel of it wrapped around my fist.
She wore a flowy, white sundress that slightly hugged her figure, along
with six-inch sandals and gold jewelry.
Fuck, she really looked like an angel. My angel.
When she caught me looking, she immediately smiled and excused
herself. As Maria made her way over to me – I imagined what she’d look
like in a different white dress, walking down an aisle towards me.
I would’ve gotten on one knee right there, but I knew it was too soon
for her. She was only twenty-one, and had other life plans before marriage
could even be a topic – let alone babies.
During the past month, she’d gotten on the pill. I wasn’t on board at
first because she’d told me before how there were multiple serious side
effects to birth control. I told her she didn’t need to put her body through
any of that; that I’d just start using condoms if she was nervous. I’d only
been pulling out until then, but after a few close calls, she said she didn’t
want to risk it.
If you get me pregnant, I’ll slice your dick off with a machete. My girl
had a way with words.
We both wanted kids in the future, but we were nowhere close; her
more than me. There were several things she wanted to do before that and I
respected it. We had nothing but time. When we had kids, it would be on
her terms.
Still, the gold ammo I’d carried religiously for the past three years, had
now been replaced by a diamond ring.
I squeezed the black box in my pocket. Soon.
“Hey, handsome.” My back was leaning against the bar when Maria
stepped between my legs and ran her hands down my white, slightly
unbuttoned shirt, before fisting the open collar. It was the same material as
her dress – which I chose on purpose. “Are we really gonna be that couple
that matches outfits?”
A deep chuckle rumbled in my chest as I snaked a hand around the
back of her neck, pulling her into me until my lips brushed hers. “And the
couple that can’t take their hands off each other.”
 My hand went into her hair and I captured her top lip between mine,
kissing her with a sweet pull. Her tits pressed against my chest, her hands
held onto my abs for support, and that breathy mmm noise escaped her,
wrapping around my heart and tugging.
Pulling back, I wiped my thumb over her bottom lip. “I got you
something.”
When I pushed off the bar, she stepped back as I retrieved the gift from
my back pocket. Grabbing it from my hands, she gave me a mischievous
smile which I matched.
Using her sharp nail as a knife, she sliced open the envelope and began
going through the acceptance letters.
She had mentioned wanting to go back to school, but the process was
too overwhelming; she didn’t know where to start. So I did it for her. A
couple of phone calls and Maria could start at any college in the city next
week – a bachelor’s degree with a foundation year since she never got to
finish high school.
When she looked up at me, her eyes were glossy. “You did this for
me?”
“I’d do anything for you.”
She stepped forward, wrapped her arms around my body and pressed
her face into my chest. “Me too. You know that, right?”
I did.
Pulling her in closer, I nuzzled my face into her neck as her arms
wrapped around my own. I kissed her exposed shoulder when her nails
scratched my nape. “Te amo.”
“Te amo, Zach. Para siempre.”
I stared into her siren, green eyes and felt the utmost peace. “Y
siempre.”
Nothing else mattered; not her past or mine.
The world stopped for a moment.
And it was just us.

THE END

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 Look out for the next book in the series…

Continue your GodHood journey with

Natalia & Trevor’s story.

A best-friend’s older brother, dark mafia romance.

Coming soon.
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 ***
Thank you so much for taking the time to read Angelic Vengeance. If you
enjoyed this book, I would be immensely grateful if you could leave a
review on the platform(s) of your choice.
Xoxo,
Cristina

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BOOKS BY CRISTINA
RUSSO
All books/series happen in the same universe.
Every book can be read as a standalone.
Characters and couples appear throughout.

GODHOOD SERIES
Angelic Vengeance
(GodHood #2)
(GodHood #3)
(GodHood #4)
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 KEEP IN TOUCH <3
Follow me on social media for constants updates, teasers and blogs!
Instagram: @author.cristinarusso
TikTok: @authorcristinarusso

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 AKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Angelic Vengeance, my first book, took a year to complete, with a lot of ups
and downs, and sudden periods of love and hate. Maria and Zach's story
will always have a special place in my heart. And now that it's over, I
already miss writing it.
Thank you E, my best friend, for supporting me through the whole process,
brainstorming with me, motivating me, and always believing in me. I love
you.
Thank you to the bloggers and reviewers who've shown this book so much
love, and who helped spread the word about it. I appreciate every one of
your emails, reviews, and comments. I am forever grateful :)
Last but not least, a book is not a book without a reader, so thank you for
making Angelic Vengeance tangible. It means the world.
Much love,
Cristina

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