Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be

outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made
from animal experiments.
Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge and experience.
Write at least 250 words.
There are a variety of reasons why scientists experiment with animals ranging from
cosmetic to behavioural and pharmaceutical. I believe that some of these are easier to
justify than others but there are also alternatives to animal testing that need to be
developed further.
One reason for testing on animals is for the development of new cosmetics. This sector
has generated a great deal more criticism than others as it is much more superficial.
Critics argue that these new products are largely unnecessary and that the suffering of
animals does not justify the end product. Furthermore, there are many cosmetics that
have been developed without the need for animal tests.
Another of the most common reasons for animal testing is the development of new drugs.
These drugs can then be used to treat both animals and humans. Indeed, many chronic
illnesses are now treatable because of animal testing and it is for this reason that
proponents of animal testing argue that it is so vital. However, this is a subjective
argument as it values the lives of humans above the suffering of animals.
These arguments relate solely to animal testing, however there are alternatives to this
currently being researched. Over the last few years there have been scientific
breakthroughs with regards to improvements in testing on cells and human tissue. If these
were to be extended there would be no need for any animals to suffer. Another possibility
is to use computer models to test new items.
In conclusion, for some people the testing of pharmaceutical drugs on animals is entirely
justified and appropriate. Although I would agree with this to an extent and would argue
that human lives are more important than animals, I also think that the alternatives to
animal testing need to be further developed.
1. Task Response (Band 9)
 Comprehensive addressing of the task: The essay provides a balanced response
to the question, exploring both the justification for animal experimentation and
alternatives.
 Clear and relevant examples: The essay includes real-world examples (e.g., the
development of new cosmetics and drugs, breakthroughs in alternatives like cell
and tissue testing) that strengthen the argument.
 Critical thinking: The essay presents arguments on both sides (pro and con),
acknowledging that some forms of animal testing may be more justifiable than
 others while advocating for alternatives. This nuanced response meets the "fully
developed position" requirement for a Band 9.
2. Coherence and Cohesion (Band 9)
 Logical organization: The essay is structured effectively with an introduction,
body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear purpose, making it
easy to follow the argument.
 Effective use of cohesive devices: Linking words and phrases such as "one
reason," "another," "however," "furthermore," "in conclusion," and "although"
guide the reader through the essay seamlessly without overuse.
 Paragraphing: Ideas are organized into clear, well-developed paragraphs. For
example, one paragraph focuses on the cosmetic industry, another on
pharmaceutical testing, and the final one on alternatives, ensuring clarity and flow.
3. Lexical Resource (Band 9)
The essay demonstrates an extensive range of vocabulary, which is varied, precise, and
contextually appropriate:
 Academic vocabulary: Words like "generated," "criticism," "superficial,"
"subjective," "alternatives," "breakthroughs," and "treatable" elevate the language.
 Topic-specific terminology: Terms like "animal testing," "pharmaceutical drugs,"
"cosmetic industry," "chronic illnesses," "scientific breakthroughs," and "human
tissue testing" showcase the writer's command of subject-specific language.
 Collocations and phrases: Phrases like "justify the end product," "largely
unnecessary," "value the lives of humans above the suffering of animals," and
"scientific breakthroughs" demonstrate a natural command of English.
The varied vocabulary and lack of repetition show the writer's ability to handle complex
topics fluently.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Band 9)
The essay showcases a wide range of grammatical structures with flawless accuracy:
 Complex sentences: Examples include:
o "Although I would agree with this to an extent and would argue that human
lives are more important than animals, I also think that the alternatives to
animal testing need to be further developed."
o "Critics argue that these new products are largely unnecessary and that the
suffering of animals does not justify the end product."
 Conditionals: "If these were to be extended, there would be no need for any
animals to suffer."
  Passive voice: "These drugs can then be used to treat both animals and humans."
 Balanced use of modality: "Need to be developed," "can be used," "is so vital,"
and "argue that" reflect the writer's ability to express certainty and possibility
appropriately.
The sentences are error-free, demonstrating complete control over grammar.
Why It Scored Band 9
 Sophisticated thought and balance: The essay handles a controversial topic with
maturity and balance, considering various perspectives while offering a clear
opinion.
 Precision and relevance: The ideas are concise and directly address the task.
There is no irrelevant information or redundancy.
 Natural flow of language: The essay reads smoothly due to its variety of sentence
structures, precise vocabulary, and logical progression.
 Wide linguistic range: The writer demonstrates a high degree of flexibility in
expressing ideas, effortlessly transitioning between examples and arguments.

Lexical Breakdown of the Essay

1. Academic Vocabulary
Justified: Can experimentation on animals be justified?
Appropriate: For some people, the testing of pharmaceutical drugs on animals is entirely
justified and appropriate.
Alternatives: There are also alternatives to animal testing that need to be developed
further.
Criticism: This sector has generated a great deal more criticism than others.
Superficial: As it is much more superficial.
Unnecessary: These new products are largely unnecessary.
Suffering: The suffering of animals does not justify the end product.
Treatable: Many chronic illnesses are now treatable because of animal testing.
Subjective: However, this is a subjective argument as it values the lives of humans above
the suffering of animals.
Breakthroughs: There have been scientific breakthroughs with regards to improvements
in testing on cells and human tissue.
Possibility: Another possibility is to use computer models to test new items.
Developed Further: Alternatives to animal testing need to be developed further.
2. Topic-Specific Vocabulary
Animal testing: Repeated throughout to discuss the core topic.
Cosmetic industry: One reason for testing on animals is for the development of new
cosmetics.
Pharmaceutical drugs: For some people, the testing of pharmaceutical drugs on animals is
entirely justified.
Chronic illnesses: Indeed, many chronic illnesses are now treatable because of animal
testing.
Scientific breakthroughs: There have been scientific breakthroughs with regards to
improvements in testing on cells.
Human tissue: Testing on cells and human tissue.
Computer models: Another possibility is to use computer models to test new items.
Cell testing: Improvements in testing on cells and human tissue.
3. Collocations
Generated criticism: This sector has generated a great deal more criticism than others.
Justify the end product: The suffering of animals does not justify the end product.
Scientific breakthroughs: Over the last few years, there have been scientific
breakthroughs.
Improvements in testing: Improvements in testing on cells and human tissue.
Chronic illnesses are treatable: Many chronic illnesses are now treatable because of
animal testing.
Alternatives to animal testing: There are alternatives to animal testing that need to be
developed further.
Values the lives of humans: This is a subjective argument as it values the lives of humans
above the suffering of animals.
4. Cohesive Devices
First of all: First of all, it is interesting to note... (Used in introductory ideas).
Furthermore: Furthermore, there are many cosmetics that have been developed without
the need for animal tests.
However: However, this is a subjective argument.
Another: Another of the most common reasons for animal testing is the development of
new drugs.
Over the last few years: Over the last few years, there have been scientific breakthroughs.
In conclusion: In conclusion, for some people...
Although: Although I would agree with this to an extent...
This relates solely to: These arguments relate solely to animal testing.
For this reason: It is for this reason that proponents of animal testing argue that it is so
vital.