The Awakening

Sonny Carroll

There comes a time in your life when you finally

get it ... When in the midst of all your fears and
insanity you stop dead in your tracks and
somewhere the voice inside your head cries out
"ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or
struggling to hold on." And, like a child quieting
down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to
subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink
back your tears and through a mantle of wet
lashes you begin to look at the world from a new
perspective.

..........This is your awakening.

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something
or someone to change, or for happiness safety and security to come
galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact
that there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that
matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin
with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
So you begin making your way through the "reality of today" rather
than holding out for the "promise of tomorrow." You realize that
much of who you are and the way you navigate through life is, in
great part, a result of all the social conditioning you've received over
the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the
nonsense you were taught about :

- how you should look and how much you should weigh,
- what you should wear and where you should shop,
- where you should live or what type of car you should drive,
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave,
- who you should marry and why you should stay,
- the importance of bearing children or what you owe your family,

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of

view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and
what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines
you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect ,and that not
everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are...
and that's OK... they are entitled to their own views and opinions.
And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5
or a "perfect 10".... Or a perfect human being for that matter... and
you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or
agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at
 yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the
same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others.
Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer"

hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks
of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers
who pass by. Then you discover that it is truly in "giving" that we
receive, and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the
giving. And you recognize the importance of "creating" and
"contributing" rather than "obtaining" and "accumulating."

And you give thanks for the simple things you've been blessed with,
things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about -
a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom
of choice and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.

And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging
in self-destructive behaviors, including participating in dysfunctional
relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water
and exercising. And because you've learned that fatigue drains the
spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to
rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the
spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.
 Then you learn about love and relationships - how to love, how
much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away.
And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and
respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people
don't always say what they mean or mean what they say,
intentionally or unintentionally, and that not everyone will always
come through... and interestingly enough, it's not always about you.
So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place
blame for the things that were done to you or weren't done for you.
And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and
redirect the destructive emotions it spawns - anger, jealousy and
resentment.

You learn how to say "I was wrong" and to forgive people for their
own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and
about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind
word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you
eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify
you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting
your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are
perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain
things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs
with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is
the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned
at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and
 responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and
learning to Say NO. You learn that you don't know all the
answers, it's not your job to save the world and that sometimes you
just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as
you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your
neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will
not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important
because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and
relationships, and that that not everyone can always love you the
way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by
the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that
it's wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their
dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet
"your" standards and expectations. You learn that the only love
worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without
conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So
you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You
learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to discover
the joy of spending time "with yourself" and "on yourself." Then
you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know
- Self Love. And so it comes to pass that, through understanding,
your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.
Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations.
And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation
with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn't change things
and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in
the past. So you stop lamenting over what could or should have
been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you
begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You
take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and
the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead, you set your
goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.

You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what
you think you deserve, and you stop personalizing every loss or
disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things
happen to good people and that these things are not an act of
God... but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees, because you've learned that
the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that
whatever happens, you'll learn to deal with it. And you learn that
the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all
time - FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through
your fears, because to give into fear is to give away the right to live
life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling
prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to
 squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of
impending doom.

Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal

power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And
you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself
and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to
never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And a sense of
power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity
because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals
of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation
upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to
keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful
opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime
outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in
Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you
take a stand, you TAKE a deep breath and you begin to design
the life you want to live as best as you can.

A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most

painful and frightening hours, I have prayed, not for the answers to
my prayers or for material things, but for my "God" to help me find
 the strength, confidence and courage to persevere; to face each
day and to do what I must do.

Remember this:- You are an expression of the almighty. The spirit

of God resides within you and moves through you. Open your
heart, speak to that spirit and it will heal and empower you.
My "God" has never failed me.