The Person and Others

THE PERSON AND OTHERS
Humans have the natural and universal tendency to relate, to establish attachments, and seek close relationships with other
people. Various philosophers have discussed the nature of human relationships and have provided several perspectives on how we
relate with others.
How does an individual relate with other persons?
Interpersonal relations are influenced by the concepts of self-awareness, individuality, and authenticity. Self-awareness refers
to the understanding of oneself as an existing human being that recognizes human existence as distinct from other living beings and
other humans as well. Individuality refers to the person's awareness that he or she should live his or her life on his or her own terms
and to live a life that is distinct from other people. Authenticity is then achieved once the individual's thoughts, ideas, and actions express
and upholds his or her individuality.
For interpersonal relations to exist there must first be recognition of the self and the other. The awareness of one's individuality
is called the "self. "The "other" generally refers to objects outside of personal experience, while it is often used by most philosophers
to refer to other individuals apart from the self. In simple terms, an individual is naturally aware of himself or herself as a distinct being
(self), and yet he or she is also aware that there are other beings apart from him or her (the other).
The interaction between the self and the other is related to the philosophical concept of intersubjectivity, which is the shared
awareness and understanding among persons. It is evident in everyday social interactions, the ability of humans to agree and cooperate,
the existence of shared or "common" knowledge and consensus, and in shared emotions such as grief, joy, and love.
A closer look at everyday interactions reveal instances where the self interacts with the other. Philosophers identify various
levels of self-other interaction. The first is the simple awareness of the existence of the other. When we see other people walking along
the street, we are aware that they are other beings unique from us, and that they exist outside of our own awareness or perception.
A deeper level of interaction between the self and the other, on the other hand, is the awareness of the self as being seen by
others. Imagine, for instance, that one of the people you are watching suddenly stops and looks straight at you. You are immediately
aware of this person's action as an other - this stranger is looking at your direction. Also, you are aware of another significant fact - you
know that the stranger staring at you is aware of you as a person. This self-consciousness is considered by philosophers as a defining
characteristic of the self-other relationship. Now imagine that the person is not a stranger but someone familiar: a family member, a
friend, even your crush. This awareness of the person staring at you will initially result in feelings of self-consciousness, even shame. In
fact, several questions will begin running in your head such as "What is he or she thinking when he or she looks at me?", "Am I doing
something wrong?", "Is there something wrong with the way I look?", "Is he or she about to say something to me?", etc. This awareness
of the "self in the other" by one's self-consciousness is an important aspect in the self-other interaction.
The unique phenomenon of the human gaze is considered a defining characteristic that sets apart human interaction from the
interaction of other species. The way we act with other people is often influenced by our ideas of how these people see us. Therefore, if
we have the idea that our parents think of us as quiet and obedient, we often act that way with them. When we are with our friends,
however, and we think that they see us as outgoing and boisterous, we also adjust our behavior to conform with how we think they expect
us to act. This is also true when considering social contexts: how we behave in church is different from our behavior in a lively party.
These actions are referred to by Martin Buber as "seeming" - where an individual presents himself or herself in a certain way
when dealing with others. Buber describes persons as taking on "roles" or characters when dealing with certain people or when in certain
situations. This is considered as an unconscious, natural act on the part of humans. However, there may be instances when people
behave a certain way in order to intentionally deceive or manipulate other people.
Buber, in his studies of the self-other relationship, identifies a much deeper level of interaction which is the dialogue. This refers
to a genuine relationship established among individuals. A dialogue is made possible when the self realizes that the other is a genuine
and unique individual. When two individuals begin to view each other as an other - that is, truly acknowledging each other's presence -
then that is the beginning of an authentic relationship and a dialogue. Buber's concept of dialogue presents the idea that in any interaction,
there are always two entities involved. The self always exists along with the other. This is in contrast to the idea of monologue, the
distancing of the self from the other.
DISCUSS (one whole sheet of paper, copy first the question) DAY 1
1. How does philosophy define human relations? What philosophical concepts are related to human relationships?
2. Explain the concepts of self and the other. How are these concepts related to human relations?
3. What is the difference between "seeming" and "dialogue"? What scenarios in everyday life correspond to these types of
interactions?
How do relationships define the human person?

Different philosophical thoughts have different views on human relationships. Existentialists consider human relationships as a
defining influence on human life. Human relations, according to the constructivist theory of knowledge, shape knowledge and truth within
a certain society. Phenomenologists argue that shared experience between persons can shape the perception of reality. People often
remember events more vividly when they are shared with other people, and in many cases, the views of a person regarding an event
can be shaped by the views of people he or she is with. Within society, individuals are expected to coordinate their actions and maintain
harmonious relationships to ensure order and the general welfare.
Philosophers agree that it is important for humans to pursue and achieve genuine relationships. There are conflicting views,
however, regarding how individuals relate to each other in actual situations. One view considers genuine relationships as difficult and
almost impossible to attain. The existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre considers human relationships as frustrating and are often
inauthentic and ambiguous. According to him, humans tend to view others as a means to achieve certain desires. This view gives rise to
feelings of alienation - where the individual ceases to view the other as a distinct and authentic person. Karl Marx, on the other hand,
states that alienation happens when a human being is treated as an object instead of a human being. Marx further attributed alienation
as that which gives rise to the exploitation of people.
There are philosophers who have a more positive view of human interaction and believe that humans naturally seek and are
able to achieve and maintain genuine, meaningful relations with each other. Edith Stein defines the self-other relationship as being
driven by empathy - the awareness and recognition that the other is a human person with thoughts and feelings. Edmund Husserl
believes that intersubjectivity is more than just shared understanding, but is the capability to put oneself "in the place where the other is."
Gabriel Marcel defines genuine relationship based on availability or the willingness of a person to be present and be at the disposal of
another. Buber considers human existence as a continuous dialogue with the other, and that the self becomes whole through interaction
with nature, with other people, and with God. The ethics of care, meanwhile, emphasizes the moral dimension of relationships and
interactions. This moral perspective encourages individuals to see to the needs of other people, most especially the vulnerable.
Philosophers may vary in their views and perspectives on human relationships but all agree on the general notion of the human
person as a "being-with-others"; a human person who continually seeks and maintains harmonious relationships. This includes
perceiving the underprivileged sectors of society, persons with disabilities, and minorities as persons capable of forming and maintaining
human relationships.
1. Is it possible for persons to achieve meaningful relationships with others? What are the thoughts of philosophers on this?
2. What gives rise to alienation among individuals? How does it affect human relations?
3. What characterizes a genuine relationship? How will this bring about the development of the person?
4. How can you be a "being-with-others" in your school or community?
How does Christianity define interpersonal relations?

The Christian perspective considers human relations in the context of community. Humans naturally seek to establish fellowship
with each other, to love one another, to support each other, and to minister to one another. Among the strongest bonds are those that
involve parents and their children, friends, and the bond between man and wife.
Even greater still is the relationship between God and man which is defined as a fellowship and covenant. In the Old Testament,
God's relationship with mankind began with the Creation, when God established man's ideal relationship-the union between man and
woman. This initial relationship, however, was frustrated with Adam and Eve's disobedience and the killing of Abel by Cain-acts which
violated the covenant of fellowship. But despite mankind's tendency to sin and defy God's commandments, God has at numerous times
reiterated His original covenant. Noah's salvation from the Great Flood, Abraham's journey to the Promised Land, the deliverance of the
Israelites from Egypt, the Ten Commandments, and God's promise to David are among the great covenants established between God
and His chosen people.
In the New Testament, Jesus Christ has redefined God's covenant through His death and resurrection. Christ's teachings also
emphasize the importance of fellowship among men. This is embodied in His preaching’s where He encourages His followers to "love
your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31) and "do unto others what you would have them do unto you" (Matthew 7:12).
The Christian perspective on relations compels us to be sympathetic most especially to the least of our brethren. The
marginalized in society, particularly the poor and the disabled, are among those who should be considered as deserving of assistance,
kindness, and care.
1. According to the Christian perspective, what are the most important bonds between human persons?
2. How is God's relationship with man like a covenant?
3. How is God's covenant with man defined in the Old Testament and the New Testament?
4. How can the Christian perspective guide us in relating with others?

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THE PERSON AND OTHERS

How do relationships define the human person?

How does Christianity define interpersonal relations?

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