LESSON 4 * Ju ly 17-23

Marriage Is Not
Out-of-Date

S ABBATH A FTERNOON
Read for This Week’s Study: Gen. 2:18-25, John 2:1-
11, Eph. 5:22-33, Heb. 13:4, 1 Pet. 3:1-7.

Memory Text: “Husbands,love your wives, just as Christ loved

the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25, NIV).

ll through the Bible, both Old and New Testaments, the image

A of marriage appears, in one form or another. Sometimes the

images are of good marriages; sometimes they are of bad
marriages; sometimes the images depict faithfulness; sometimes they
depict infidelity. Either way, and whether in the Old Testament or in
the New, marriage is often used as a metaphor for the relationship
between the Lord and His people.
Thus, it should be clear how seriously the Lord esteems marriage.
For Him to use it time and again as a metaphor for His relationship
with His people should tell us marriage should be something special.
Therefore, this week we take a look at some biblical principles
regarding this divinely inspired institution.

The Week at a Glance: What can we learn about mar-

riage from the Genesis account? How should a husband treat his
wife? How does Christ’s death reflect an important principle nec-
essary for creating a good marriage?

*Study this week’s lesson to prepare for Sabbath, July 24.

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 S U N D AY Ju ly 18

Marriage in Paradise
Read Genesis 2:18-25. What basic principles can we find in this
account of the first husband/wife relationship that can help us,
today, understand what God’s ideal for marriage should be? As
you read, ask yourself the following questions: (1) What signifi-
cance is in the fact Eve was created out of Adam’s physical body,
as opposed to her being created from something separate?
(2) What do Adam’s words in verse 23 mean? (3) Why, when they
saw each other naked, were they not ashamed?

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However unique the background to the story, it does show there was
to be an intimacy between a husband and his wife that wasn’t found
anywhere else. There showed a closeness, a bond, both physical and
spiritual, that no other person should be allowed to violate. The mar-
riage relationship is blessed of God; it’s something sacred, something
we have been able to take from Eden, from a perfect world. How cru-
cial, then, that we cherish it as we should.

Read Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-7. How do both Paul and
Peter stress the unique bond of a marriage relationship? Who,
ultimately, is deemed the head of the home? And yet, at the same
time, what principles should dictate how the husband should treat
the wife?

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_______________________________________________________

Though both Peter and Paul are clear about the role of husband and
wife in marriage, notice how many times they stress that the husband
should love the wife; in fact, Paul, in Ephesians, admonished hus-
bands to love their wives with the kind of self-sacrificial love that
compelled Christ to love the church. Imagine how much better our
marriages would be if both husband and wife, in the Lord, followed
these biblical principles.

Dwell more on the idea of Christ’s death as an example of the

kind of self-sacrificing love husbands should have for their
wives. What great changes could that attitude on the part of
husbands bring to homes and marriages?

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 M O N DAY Ju ly 19

Marriage—Till Death Do Us Part (Matt.

5:32, 19:9).

Some people who have been married for just a year or two decide
they made a mistake and go their separate ways. Others who have
been together for 30 or more years conclude that their relationship has
become empty and stale and get a divorce. Also, an increasing num-
ber of people live in common-law relationships and shy away from
marriage.
What is the underlying problem? Many of today’s younger genera-
tion have a problem in making long-term commitments, whether it
comes to church membership and/or to sealing a love relationship
with a marriage vow.

How do the words of Christ Himself indicate that marriage is a life-

long commitment? Matt. 5:32, 19:9.

Those are very strong words, leaving what seems like little room
for extenuating circumstances. Indeed, the principles stated in the
Church Manual continue to provide a solid basis for our thinking:
“Central to God’s holy plan for our world was the creation of beings
made in His image who would multiply and replenish the earth and
live together in purity, harmony, and happiness. He brought forth Eve
from the side of Adam and gave her to Adam as his wife. Thus was
marriage instituted—God the author of the institution, God the offi-
ciator at the first marriage. . . .
“The church adheres to this view of marriage and home without
reservation, believing that any lowering of this high view is to that
extent a lowering of the heavenly ideal. The belief that marriage is a
divine institution rests upon the Holy Scriptures. Accordingly, all think-
ing and reasoning in the perplexing field of divorce and remarriage
must constantly be harmonized with that holy ideal revealed in Eden.
“The church believes in the law of God; it also believes in the for-
giving mercy of God. It believes that victory and salvation can as
surely be found by those who have transgressed in the matter of
divorce and remarriage as by those who have failed in any other of
God’s holy standards.”—(Hagerstown, Md.: Review and Herald ® Pub.
Assoc., 2000), pp. 194, 195.

Focus on the last paragraph of the Church Manual. What hope

does that give you if you have, indeed, violated the biblical
standard of marriage? At the same time, what should Christ’s
words above tell us about how important it is that we do every-
thing possible to keep our marriages intact?

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 T U E S DAY Ju ly 20

The Joy of Sex

Read Genesis 1:27, 28; 2:24, 25. What do they tell us about sexual-
ity? Who originated it? Who encouraged it? Was there anything
“dirty” about it in the context in which it is presented here?

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_______________________________________________________

Through the centuries there have been Christians who have rejected
sex as dirty, unspiritual, and sinful, even to the point that many
believed that those who wanted to dedicate themselves to the Lord in
a special way ought to remain celibate. Throughout church history, in
many religious communities, sex was, at least officially, outlawed,
even among married people.
On the other hand, immorality has, at times, been hailed as true
freedom, with all inhibitions set aside in the name of advanced reli-
gious truth.
The Christian view of sex is a balanced view. There is more to life
than sex. But the enjoyment of our sexuality is definitely a precious
part of life—a gift of our Creator, who made us “male and female,”
and within the right context it can be a beautiful expression of both
human and divine love.
Like all God’s gifts, however, it can be abused, and few gifts have
been more greatly abused than this one. The key for the Christian is
to understand under what circumstances the Lord wants him or her
to benefit from and enjoy this blessing. When is sexual activity
appropriate, and when is it not? These are important questions,
because our world is filled with sad results of those who have mis-
used one of God’s greatest manifestations of His love for humanity.
How like the devil to take something so wonderful and turn it into
something that will lead to the ruin of many souls.

All of the following texts talk, in one context or another, about

human sexuality: Genesis 2:24; Proverbs 5:15-23; Ecclessiates
9:9; Song of Solomon; Romans 1:26, 27; 1 Corinthians 7:5.
From these texts and any others you find,write a paragraph for
someone who isn’t a Christian, explaining the biblical view of
sexuality.
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 W E D N E S DAY Ju ly 21

When There Are Problems (Matt. 5:27, 28;

Heb. 13:4).

We live in a world full of temptations. Never should we under-

estimate the determination of the devil to divert the followers of
Christ from their life of discipleship; and one of the most effective
ways of doing so is to lead them into sexual immorality. The apostle
Paul was specifically addressing instances of immorality among
church members when he stated: “So, if you think you are standing
firm, be careful that you don’t fall” (1 Cor. 10:12, NIV).

What principle ought to be kept in mind and to be pursued with firm

determination by all who are married and claim to be followers of
Christ? 1 Cor. 10:13, Heb. 13:4.

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_______________________________________________________

Ellen G. White makes an important point when stressing the role of

our will in remaining faithful to a marriage vow. A determination to
focus our mind on spiritual matters will help us when we face sexual
temptations: “Christ presented before His disciples the far-reaching
principles of the law of God. He taught His hearers that the law was
transgressed by the thoughts before the evil desire was carried out in
actual commission. We are under obligation to control our thoughts,
and to bring them into subjection to the law of God. The noble pow-
ers of the mind have been given to us by the Lord, that we may employ
them in contemplating heavenly things. God has made abundant
provision that the soul may make continual progression in the divine
life. . . . We give our time and thought to the trivial and commonplace
things of the world, and neglect the great interests that pertain to eter-
nal life.”—The SDA Bible Commentary, vol. 3, p. 1145.
But not all is necessarily lost when we do succumb to temptation.
Although sin may result in consequences that can not be undone, God
is always willing to forgive. And to forgive impure thoughts, sexual
indiscretions, or even blatantly immoral conduct is no more difficult
for God than to forgive a lie or an act of pride or selfishness.

What practical steps can both men and women take in the area
of alleviating sexual temptation, not only for themselves but to
make sure they aren’t a stumbling block to others? How do
what we read, watch, or wear, and where we go all play a role in
how well we deal with this problem?

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 T H U R S DAY Ju ly 22

Christ Endorsed Marriage (John 2:1-11).

Some of the advice given by the apostle Paul would suggest he was
not overenthusiastic about marriage. Statements to that effect (such as
in 1 Corinthians 7:8) should, however, be read in their context. They
were written in response to a specific question (vs. 1), under circum-
stances we do not know in detail. Just two chapters later, Paul claims
the right to marry and refers to the “other apostles and the Lord’s
brothers and Cephas,” who traveled together with “a believing wife”
(1 Cor. 9:5, NIV). The overall message of the Bible is undeniable:
Marriage not only is permitted but it is a great gift, in particular, for
believers who know the One who instituted it.

What does the prominent place given in John’s Gospel to the story of
Christ’s attendance at the wedding in Cana suggest? John 2:1-11.

It is quite significant that John includes the story of the wedding in

Cana among the very few miracle stories he recounts. The account
makes abundantly clear that Jesus was happy to be associated with
this wedding feast and that, by His very presence, He underlined not
only how good it is to have a party but that it is good when people get
married.

How does the use of the imagery of the wedding feast further under-
line the value and importance of marriage? Matt. 22:1-14, Rev.
19:7-9.

“In Biblical times a marriage involved two major events, the

betrothal and the wedding. These were normally separated by a period
of time during which the two individuals were considered husband
and wife and as such were under the obligations of faithfulness. The
wedding began with a procession to the bride’s house, which was fol-
lowed by a return to the house of the groom for the marriage feast. By
analogy, the church, espoused to Christ by faith, now awaits the
parousia when the heavenly groom will come for his bride and return
to heaven for the marriage feast which lasts throughout eternity.”
—Robert H. Mounce, The Book of Revelation (Grand Rapids, Mich.:
W. B. Eerdmans Pub. Co., 1977), p. 340.

Christ gave Himself totally and unselfishly for His people; we,
as a people, are to give ourselves totally and unselfishly to the
Lord. How does that model of giving one’s self to another reveal
essential principles of a strong Christian marriage?

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 F R I D AY Ju ly 23

Further Study: Comments on marriage and related topics by Ellen

G. White are found in a number of different compilations. Her book
The Adventist Home contains much relevant material. See, for exam-
ple, Section III: “Choosing a Life Partner,” pp. 43–75, and Section V:
“From the Marriage Altar,” pp. 99–127.
“Like every other one of God’s good gifts entrusted to the keeping
of humanity, marriage has been perverted by sin; but it is the purpose
of the gospel to restore its purity and beauty. In both the Old and the
New Testament the marriage relation is employed to represent the ten-
der and sacred union that exists between Christ and his people, the
redeemed ones whom he has purchased at the cost of Calvary. ‘Fear
not,’ he says; ‘thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his
name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel.’ ‘Turn, O backslid-
ing children, saith the Lord; for I am married unto you.’ ”—Ellen G.
White, Review and Herald, December 10, 1908.
“It should henceforth be the life study of both husband and wife
how to avoid everything that creates contention and to keep unbroken
the marriage vows.”—Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 85.

Discussion Questions:
●1 If sex is to be enjoyed only within the context of marriage, how
do those who do not have a partner, or those who have lost their
partner, experience their sexuality? Should they simply forget
they are sexual beings? Can one be fully male or female without
having any sexual relationship? What does Christ’s example
offer them?

●
2 Look at the second Ellen White quote above. What practical
things can both the husband and wife do in order to protect the
sanctity of their marriage vows?

Summary: Many marriages fail. As Christians we can never go along

with a situation in which unfaithfulness, in word or thought, is con-
doned. At the same time, a forgiving spirit can save and restore many
a relationship that would otherwise be doomed. The Lord deems mar-
riage as something sacred; we, as humans, should do no less.

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 I N S I D E
Stor
Flee Into His Arms:
Part 1 by C I HARLOTTE SHKANIAN
Maryam’s eyes burned from crying. Her body ached from the beating
she had received. A failure, she thought. I can’t even kill myself. If life isn’t
worth living, why is death so hard?
Maryam was born into a Muslim family in a Middle Eastern country.
When Maryam was born her father shouted at her mother, “Why did you
have to have a girl? Can’t you do anything right?”
Maryam feared her father and hated the abuse that she and her mother
faced. She was not permitted to invite any of the neighborhood children to
her home, for they were “filthy infidel Christians.” If she even talked to a
Christian child, her father would beat her. And when she cried, her mother
simply told her to pray, pray. Maryam prayed, but her prayers were never
answered. She became convinced that no one heard her prayers. Maryam
hated her life, hated what her father was doing to the family, but she saw
no way out.
When Maryam’s father made some bad business deals and was sent to
prison for f ive years, Maryam found work to help her mother support the
family.
After several years Maryam’s father convinced a friend to pay for his
release from prison. He returned home and announced that Maryam would
be married to the son of his friend. When Maryam learned that her father
had agreed to give her in exchange for his freedom, she was devastated.
Once more she realized that she was only an object to her father, never a
cherished child.
Maryam did not know the man she would marry, but she knew that he
had a terrible temper. He was powerful and rich and had great influence in
the government. Maryam did not consider this a marriage. She felt like a
slave, sold to a man for her father’s freedom.
From the beginning Maryam’s husband oppressed and abused her. He
beat her for almost any reason. Maryam lived in fear. When she learned that
she was pregnant, she was secretly pleased, for she thought at last she would
have someone who would love her back. But her husband’s constant beat-
ings killed the child and left Maryam badly bruised. Heartbroken, she tried
to commit suicide. But she failed. I can’t even kill myself, she thought.
Maryam desperately wanted out, but Islamic law forbade her to get a
divorce. And her husband would never allow her to have a passport, so she
could not run away. Her own family would not listen to her when she tried
to tell them her troubles. She had to get out, but how?
(continued next week)
CHARLOTTE ISHKANIAN is editor of Mission.

Produced by the General Conference Sabbath School and Personal Ministries Dept.
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