Visual: Writing

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org
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visual writing
visual
writing
Anne Hanson
N EW YOR K
Copyright © 2002 LearningExpress, LLC.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright

Conventions. Published in the United States by LearningExpress, LLC, New
York.
Printed in the United States of America
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Hanson, Anne, 1950-
Visual writing / by Anne Hanson—1st ed.
p.cm
ISBN 1-57685-405-1
1. English language—Rhetoric. 2. Visual communications.
3. Visual perception. 4. Report writing. I. Title.
PE1408 .H3295 2002
808’.042—dc21
2001038798
987654321
First Edition
ISBN 1-57685-405-1
For more information or to place an order, contact LearningExpress at:

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contents
➧ one
Organization: It’s Everywhere! 1
➧ two
Graphic Organizers: The Writer’s Widgets 9
➧ three
Visual Writing and Cereal 19
➧ four
1-2-3 Maps: Using Visual Maps to Write Essays 41
➧ five
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Winning and Losing Essays 67
➧ six
Reading and Writing Practice Challenges 85
visual writing
chapter
one
Organization:
It’s Everywhere!
take a look around you. Organiza-
tion is everywhere. The world is
organized as continents, oceans, and
atmosphere. Forests are ordered as
trees, plants, and animals. Countries
take shape as states, cities, counties,
and towns. Even your room, whether
it’s a specific room or merely some
space earmarked as yours, has organi-
zation, too. In spite of how messy it
may be on any given day, your room is
organized into the place where you
sleep, where you store your CDs, your
clothes, and your personal stuff. If you
can think of a subject—boys, girls,
organization 1
music, sports, you name it—you can organize it. Why? Because our brains
routinely seek out patterns of organization.
the brain’s quest to organize

saves three astronauts
ONE OF our brain’s prime directives,

apart from keeping us alive, is to
seek meaning out of chaos. This
instinctive desire and ability to
put things into order is one of
humanity’s greatest skills. A
scene from the movie Apollo
13 drives the point home.
A flip of a switch yields
a spark that triggers a
small explosion aboard
the Apollo 13 capsule,
aborting a trip to the
moon for three astro-
nauts. But that’s not
their only problem. They
will soon suffocate from the carbon dioxide their bodies are exhaling. Three
astronauts will perish in space unless a solution to their problem is found, fast.
It is at this point that organization saves the day.
A NASA engineer throws ordinary gadgets
and widgets onto a conference table around
which his NASA colleagues stand. The engi-
. . . the pile of what looks neer announces that the pile of what looks like
like random pieces of junk random pieces of junk represents all that the
represents all that the Apollo Apollo 13 astronauts have at their disposal on
13 astronauts have at their
their spacecraft.
disposal on their spacecraft.
Will they be able to build a carbon dioxide
Will they survive?
filter from this junk? Will they survive? This is
the dialogue in the conference room.
2 visual writing
NASA CHIEF ENGINEER:
Okay, people, listen up.The people upstairs handed us this one and we gotta come
through.We gotta find a way to make this [a box] fit into the hole for this (a
cylinder) using nothing but that, [the gadgets and widgets he’s thrown onto
the table.]
ENGINEER1: Let’s get it organized.
ENGINEER2: Okay, okay: let’s build a filter.
Immediately realizing they must get it organized, they work against the
clock to save the three astronauts trapped in a soon-to-be metal gas chamber.
After examining and organizing the pile of gadgets and widgets, these skilled
engineers ultimately craft a breathing apparatus—a filter, as brilliant as it is
crude. The rest of the story is literally history and one of the twentieth cen-
tury’s greatest examples of successful problem solving. How did these engi-
neers do it?
“how to construct a makeshift filter for stranded astronauts”

Do any of us believe that any NASA engineers, who accomplished this for-
midable task, studied such a topic in any engineering textbook? Of course
not! They succeeded because they brainstormed. They successfully analyzed
their:
■ subject—saving astronauts
■ topic or objective—building a filter that functions as a breathing mechanism
■ supporting details—using available gadgets and widgets to get the job
done
They successfully searched for order and pattern amid clutter and chaos and
ultimately synthesized a unique filter that served as the breathing apparatus
that saved three lives.
organization 3
objective
(filterbox)
1
supporting details
(tubing)
2
3
conclusion
(cylinder)
1. The box begins the objective.

2. The middle—the hose—connects the beginning to the end of the
objective with supporting details that you organize with graphic
organizers.
3. The cylinder, once connected, completes the objective.
4 visual writing
how to write an essay
for just about anyone who asks
C ONSIDER YOURSELF an astronaut. Not just any astronaut—but an astronaut

lost in space—much like the Apollo 13 astronauts. You will potentially suffo-
cate in the capsule chamber of high stakes—timed essay tests—that are alien to
a writing process that should allow the luxury of time. If it seems like your
chamber is getting crammed with
more and more demands to write
essays, you are not imagining Visual Writing helps weak writers become bet-
things. Today’s teachers not only ter writers and strong writers become even
test the writing skills they teach, stronger, because it teaches them to harness
but they prepare you for the chal- the power of visual maps, the graphic organ-
lenge you are sure to face, if not izers that lead to effective communication.
now, then soon. The state and Building stronger communication skills now
national standardized essay tests will set you apart from your peers when you
that are part of every student’s enter the job market.
career assure state and national

officials that their education tax
dollars are producing competent young writers.
Though it may sound gloomy, there is an upside to all this testing. No
matter the origin of essay tests, their topics, or audiences, the more you write
did you know?

Whoever first coined the term brainstorm was a genius who knew what he or she was
talking about. Scientific brain imaging processes such as MRIs reveal the brain’s elec-
tronic and chemical thinking processes as different colors. They show that writers who
analyze and organize subjects and topics, using word lists and other graphic organiz-
ers before writing paragraphs, connect more neural pathways and access more
knowledge. During brain-image testing, their writing processes register as energetic
bursts of color. There really is a storm brewing in our brains. Let the fireworks begin!
organization 5
and learn how to write, the better
you become at writing.
6 visual writing
make the connection
to your writing
TEACHER: Okay, people, listen up. The people upstairs (that would be the
state assessment office) handed us this one and we gotta come through.
You gotta find a way to make your essay’s introduction fit into the hole for
your essay’s conclusion, using nothing but the details you compile by graphically
organizing your word gadgets and widgets, which you will learn how to do in
Chapter Two.
STUDENT1: Let’s get it organized!
STUDENT2: Okay, okay: let’s write an essay!
➠ Try it out!
“Organization is everywhere.” The beginning of this chapter illustrated

that the world can be organized as continents, oceans, atmosphere, etc. If you
think about it, atoms are organized into molecules. Proteins are organized
into cells that are organized into body organs. People are organized into fam-
ilies that are organized into communities that are organized into towns that
are organized into counties. Counties are organized into cities that are organ-
ized into states that are organized into countries. Now that you have a clear-
er picture of the many facets of organization, apply your understanding to a
warm up exercise.
On the next page, identify organizational components for each of the fol-
lowing: your room, pizza, and zoos. Use the paper on the next page for your
response. (You will find a student example for this on page 8.)
organization 7
ORGANIZATIONAL COMPONENTS OF:

My Room, Pizza, and Zoos.
my room:
pizza:
zoos:
8 visual writing
chapter
two
Graphic
Organizers:
The Writer’s Widgets
okay, we’ve learned that the essay
test is not going away any time soon
and that essay tests are not a bad thing
because they help us become more
effective writers and communicators.
But since anxiety is the detour that
blocks the road to proficient writing,
how will knowing that more writing
means better writing help conquer
anxiety and writer’s block when you
face the dreaded essay test? And the
higher the test-taking stakes—passing,
promotion, graduation—the greater
the writing roadblock. Even compe-
tent writers in the throes of test anxi-
ety flounder and write essays devoid of
graphic organizers 9
organization, and consequently lose out on organizational points. If you
haven’t already learned how your essays are scored, you need a quick lesson
in rubrics.
Anxiety is the detour that blocks the get the point! know how
road to proficient writing. And the you’ll be scored
higher the test-taking stakes, the
greater the writing roadblock. RUBRIC IS THE fancy word for rule.
Rubrics, then, are the rules by which
you are scored. There are many varia-
tions of rubrics, and largely the form
they take depends on the state in which you live. You will learn more about
the rules of writing in later chapters. For now, here’s a brief look at them:
■ Idea and Content

■ Organization
■ Voice
■ Word Choice
■ Sentence Fluency
■ Conventions/Mechanics
10 visual writing
The critical minutes you spend organizing your topic through visual writ-
ing ensures you an essay with organizational integrity. That organization will
help you earn most or all of the points for the Organization rubric. But the
benefits of visual writing don’t stop there. The logical flow established by
your essay’s visual map helps you see and communicate your central idea
more clearly. As a result, you will write a more focused essay that helps you
earn more Content and Idea points. Visual maps free you from “Where do I
begin?” and “How do I end?” jitters, giving you the freedom and the power
to devote more time to your word choice and your sentence structure, earn-
ing you the points earmarked for Writing Style.
(While visual maps help you with what you write, and how you mechanical-
ly write—your spelling, capitalization, punctuation, etc.—determines the num-
ber of Mechanics/Conventions points you earn.
the art of visual writing
The word essay is derived from the Latin and

French words that mean “to attempt” or
“trial.” How appropriate. An essay is very
much like a trial. And you are the defendant!
Your writing skills are the defense that deter-
mines the verdict. How will you defend your-
self? It’s up to you.
When you are taking an essay test, you are
your sole defense. You are not going to have
your teacher or this book around to help you.
So you must practice visual writing to learn the
art of organization. And it is an art.
Visual Writing is designed to help you prac-
An essay is very much like a tice. By reading each chapter and completing
trial. And you are the defen- each writing activity, you will learn how to
dant! Your writing skills are write better essays. You will also become a
the defense that determines better writer and communicator who knows
the verdict. Will you be found how to create order out of the seeming clut-
guilty or innocent? ter and chaos surrounding your ideas, opin-
ions, and knowledge.
12 visual writing
the nature of the beast called the essay test
They’re out there. Essay Tests. Waiting to get

you if you’re not prepared for them. But
knowledge is power. The more you know
about essay tests, the more you’ll be ready for
essay tests
them. There are basically four kinds of writing
that spawn those monstrous essay tests. Here’s
a quick review:
the simple truth about the

four kinds of writing
■ Descriptive writing tests ask you to describe something. Depending on

the essay’s topic—often called a prompt—you might be asked to describe
something or someone real, like a planet or a person. You might have to
describe something or someone imaginary, a UFO, or an extraterrestrial.
The focus of descriptive writing: Effective usage of imagery and
sensory details.
■ Narrative writing tests ask you to tell a story. You might be asked to
write the story behind a personal experience, or construct a fictional
story using your own imagination with guidance from the prompt.
The focus of narrative writing: Effective storytelling with atten-
tion to characterization, setting, and plot development.
■ Expository writing tests ask you to inform your reader about a specif-
ic topic. Expository essays challenge you to use knowledge you have ac-
quired—via school or life lessons—or there could be certain information
included in the test question that you must use as support in your essay.
The focus of expository writing: Skillful presentation of infor-
mation on a specific subject or topic.
■ Persuasive writing tests ask you to persuade your reader to agree with
your opinion on a particular subject or topic. Formats required vary
from paragraphs to letters, both informal and formal.
The focus of persuasive writing: Clear, effective argument using
logic and reasoning.
writing on demand and braintalks
You might be thinking right about now that writing an essay, no matter what
kind, isn’t going to be difficult, and you’ll be set as long as you read this book
and learn how to map your ideas. Unfortunately it’s not that simple, because
there’s one more problem: TIME!
Essay tests, especially those high-stakes essay tests that hold everything from
passing to promotion in the balance, require that you complete the test in a spe-
cific amount of time. That’s why you need to
braintalk. Journals and diaries are good examples
When connecting learning of braintalks. A braintalk is simply a talk with your
styles, you connect neural brain on paper. It’s like a freewrite directly
pathways that activate in addressed to one audience: your brain. During an
your brain. You literally elec- essay test, write a short, fast note to your brain.
trify your brain to wake up Explain to it what you have to do and how much
and get to work! time you have. In your braintalk, order your brain
to do these things: choose the most effective kind
of visual map, construct a visual map that lays out
relevant details, and be ready to interpret it so that you can write a great essay.
You might be thinking right about now: “Hey wait a minute! My brain
knows what I have to do. It’s what helped me read the essay prompt in the
first place.” True, but brain research supports the wisdom behind using a
minute or two to dialogue with yourself, on paper, rather than just thinking.
writing: a whole brain experience
Holding a pen or pencil to paper to write a virtual letter to yourself connects

your kinesthetic learning style to the intrapersonal and visual learning styles you’ve
already set in motion by reading and thinking about the essay prompt. The
more learning styles* you connect, the more neural pathways you activate in
your brain. You literally electrify your brain to wake up and get to work!
*The brain has many learning styles. To learn more about your brain and how it works, surf
the web—keyword: brain. You’ll be amazed. Or, go to brain connections at www.susd.org/
schools/middle/Ingleside/Brain%20Connection%20WebPage/index.htm
14 visual writing
Without going into too much detail, the brain has two hemispheres, left
and right. While organizing is a predominantly left-brain skill, seeing the
big picture behind anything is the job of the right hemisphere. For exam-
ple, the right side of your brain sees the forest, while the left identifies its
components: the trees, leaves, squirrels, acorns, etc. Trust me: A braintalk
is the right brain’s written request to the left brain for organizational help.
Sometimes a few sentences are all you need to ignite the left-brain sparks
that help create detailed graphic maps. (See next page for a visual map that
explains the concept of the perceptual thinking habits of left and right
brains.)
So, are you brain-ready? If you are, Visual Writing will show you how to
organize your ideas, opinions, and facts so that you can successfully tackle any
of today’s essays, not to mention tomorrow’s far more challenging real life
essays—resumes, applications, employee memos, and reports. You get the
idea. So let’s get started!
part of the brain really can’t see the forest for the trees . . .
The right hemisphere of the brain identifies whole pictures. In the case of a
forest, it sees the entire forest.
The left hemisphere of the brain identifies the specific components that
make up a whole. In the case of a forest: the trees, leaves, squirrels, acorns,
etc. The left brain really can’t see the forest for the trees!
visual writing challenge #1

create a word web that identifies your room’s contents
Think about your room or the space you call home. The examples on the
next page will help you get started. Notice how Example 2 is similar to
Example 1. Example 2, however, has boxes around groups of words in which
titles or headings have been added, “Entertainment Center” and “Magazine
Stand.” The example illustrates how your left and right brain work together:
as the left brainstorms specific details like magazines and books, your right
brain helps you define their broader conceptual headings, i.e., “Magazine
Stand.”
visual writing challenge #1: my room
example 1
example 2
16 visual writing
VISUAL WRITING CHALLENGE #1: WORD WEB ON MY ROOM
A word web is the perfect graphic organizer for an essay that asks you to describe
something. After brainstorming all the details you can, search for patterns or groupings
to help you organize further so that you can write a sequentially logical essay.
chapter
three
Visual Writing
and Cereal
cereal is a popular food whose
packaging distinguishes it from all
other breakfast foods. Think about it.
Have you ever placed an egg carton on
the table, so that you could read its
information while eating scrambled
eggs? Of course not! But cereal boxes,
that’s another subject. At one time or
another, all of us have scanned or read
the panels on a cereal box while
munching on a crunchy bowl of flakes
or puffs. As if browsing through a
magazine, we noticed the colorful pic-
tures on the front and back panels,
read interesting facts on the informa-
tive side panels, enjoyed . . . hey wait!
visual writing and cereal 19

I’ve been braintalking! This last sentence is like the braintalk introduced in
Chapter Two. It sparked my left brain’s desire to graphically organize a word
map that depicts the subject of cereal boxes and their characteristics:
the various kinds of visual writing
In Chapter Two you completed a word web. To get a clearer picture of what
visual writing is all about, you need to understand that visual writing comes
in many shapes and sizes, and the shapes and sizes you should use depend on
what is required by essay topics, also known as essay prompts. They are called
prompts because they prompt you to think about a topic.
The next section in this chapter presents and explains the variety of visu-
al maps. It includes essay prompts with examples of visual maps constructed
for the prompts. Take time to understand each visual map presented, because
you’ll need them to complete the activities that follow. While the sample
visual maps are very different from one another, they all relate to the same
subject: cereal.
The samples and activities in this chapter will prepare you for the more
complex activities that follow, which ultimately prepare you for the real essay
tests that will be thrown onto your desk, much like the gadgets and widgets
discussed in Chapter One. Remember: NASA engineers faced their problem
by working with random miscellany to which they added thought, logic, pat-
tern, discovery, and solution. Consider yourself a writing engineer who uses
visual maps to graphically organize solutions for every essay challenge
20 visual writing
whether descriptive, narrative, informative, or persuasive. The types you’ll
use most often are:
■ Venn Diagrams
NASA engineers faced their challenge by
■ Hierarchical Maps
working with random miscellany to which
■ Sequential Charts
they added thought, logic, pattern, discov-
■ Cyclical Maps
ery, and solution. Consider yourself a writ-
■ Word Webs
ing engineer . . .
■ Plot Diagrams
the Venn diagram
The Venn diagram is a conceptual map consisting of two overlapping cir-
cles that create three sections.

By writing words and phrases into the appropriate section, writers see the
similarities and differences between an essay’s stated topics.
The Venn diagram is very useful when you are asked to compare and con-
trast two concepts, two people, or different customs.
Essay prompts signal the usefulness of Venn diagrams when they include
phrases like:
■ compare and contrast

■ choose between
■ distinguish between
■ decide between

Venn diagram
Cereal Essay Prompt #1: You are asked to decide the menu for your
club’s end-of-year breakfast meeting: cereal or bacon and eggs?
Convince your fellow members that your choice of breakfast is the
best choice. (Persuasion)
A Venn diagram becomes very useful when asked to distinguish between two
of anything! Its overlapping circles help you to see similarities and differences.
Depending on your knowledge base, you might add specific vitamins and
minerals to the Venn diagram shown. Whatever you add, it is pretty clear that
there is very little similarity. The choice is now up to you. Do you argue in
favor of the healthy and easily prepared cereal breakfast? Or do you persuade
your reader that the aromatic, delicious bacon and egg breakfast is worth the
added difficulty of its preparation? Whatever you decide, the Venn diagram
22 visual writing
organized your ideas. It has also set a stage to showcase your writer’s voice, when
you write your essay. (More about the rubric called Voice in Chapter Five.)
Breakfast cereal will keep us all heart healthy and help us win the
battle of the bulge!
Who wants to settle for a soggy bowl of cereal when you can enjoy
delectably fried eggs served with delicious-tasting, crisply fried
bacon? Come on. You only live once.
The Venn diagram has set a stage to showcase your writer’s voice
when you write your essay.
hierarchical map
A hierarchical map is a conceptual map that deals with main concepts and
subconcepts.
A hierarchical map starts with a shape—for example, a rectangle—in
which a main concept or category is written. Analysis of the concepts pro-
duces subconcepts, subcategories, sublevels, etc. The word widgets for these
subconcepts are written within shapes comparable to and beneath the main
concept, establishing the hierarchy or pecking order.
Essay prompts signal the usefulness of hierarchical maps when they include
words like:
■ analyze
■ classify
■ divide
■ categorize
hierarchical map
Cereal Essay Prompt #2: You are given random cereal boxes. Using

information gathered from the boxes, identify the nutritional bene-
fits derived from eating cereal for breakfast. (Informative)
A hierarchical map suits this essay. You start with a main concept, like “Cereal
Breakfast Nutrition,” and chart subconcepts beneath it as they are identified,
i.e., milk and corn flakes, vitamins, protein, etc.
sequential chart
A sequential chart is a conceptual map that charts the sequence of specific

events using a linear (resembling a straight line) pattern of organization.
Charting events on a timeline is the perfect example of a sequential chart.
Essays will sometimes ask you to write about the cause and effect of a par-
ticular event, a battle for example. When they do, sequential charts are the
maps to use.
Essay prompts signal the usefulness of sequential charts when they include
words like:
■ show, describe, or explain the . . .
24 visual writing
■ cause and effect
■ chronological order
■ sequence
■ events
sequential chart
Cereal Essay Prompt #3: Describe what happens to a bowl of cereal that
sits too long. (Description)
A sequential chart is perfect for this essay because it clearly asks the
writer to describe a sequence of events. Here are two versions of a sequen-
tial chart to show you that you can add your brain’s artistic personality to
your sequential charts.

cyclical map
A cyclical map is constructed using a circle or cyclical shape. It is most use-

ful to represent events that are part of a continuous cycle, for example, day
turns to night, which turns into day, etc.
Any time an essay directs you to write about a topic that involves a con-
tinuous process or sequence, you should create a cyclical map, which illus-
trates the continuous or cyclical nature of that process.
Circular or clock-like by design, cyclical maps help you recall the details,
whether sequentially, hourly, seasonally, etc.
Essay prompts signal the usefulness of cyclical maps when they include
words like:
■ continuous
■ cyclical
■ process of
■ life of
26 visual writing
make the connection to your writing
TRY IT OUT!
Cereal Essay Prompt #4: Use prose or poetry to describe a typical day
in the life of a teenager. Just account for your routine.
(Description/Informative)*
*This essay prompt provides you the freedom to choose between two kinds of writing: inform-
ative paragraphs or descriptive writing, i.e., poetry which will produce the (sensory) images
found in your typical day, rather than describe or explain them more formally.

The cyclical map and its characteristic circle help you recall more details in
your typical twenty-four hour day.
word web
A word web is a group of words or word phrases that graphically connect

back to and branch out from a central concept. The words in a word web are
often encircled and then connected with lines back to the main concept.
Word webs lend themselves to the freest kind of brainstorming. Creating
them is like playing a game of word association on paper. Each word or
phrase written on a paper can trigger another. The topic requirements of
each essay prompt determine your web’s words and phrases. And sometimes
your words and phrases become mini-concepts or subconcepts, which gen-
erate words and phrases that connect back to and branch out from them.
Interpreting word webs is essential when essays require more than a mere
description. Studying a completed word web helps you grasp the significance
of each section, helping you make the big connection back to your essay’s
demands.
Essay prompts signal the usefulness of word webs when they include words
like:
■ create
■ connect
■ solve
■ interpret why
Cereal Essay Prompt #5: Why do you believe cereal manufacturers

spend so much time and money on packaging design? (Informative)
A word web helps you recall details—in this case, from all those cereal boxes
you’ve stared at over the years. But notice that this essay asks you to analyze
your gathered information. Here’s where the value of a quick braintalk enters.
A fast note to yourself before organizing fires up your neural pathways to find
clues to the answer. A follow-up braintalk that asks the brain to interpret data
produces the answer; more about follow-up braintalks on page 30.
28 visual writing
By the way, if you’re wondering why a word web is used here, when a similar task done
in Chapter Two used a hierarchical chart, repeat after me: There is usually more than one
way to solve a problem!

follow-up braintalk:
here’s what it might sound like in your head . . .
Essay #5
WORD WEB
Okay. My left brain

did a great word web, separating
all the parts of a cereal box. Now, Brain, let’s make the connections!
What’s my word web telling me? Hmmm. Let’s take a serious look: The colors
are attractive . . . the games are cool . . . so are the people they put on the boxes.
But some of these words just don’t have anything to do with cereal. I’ll underline
them: famous people, ads selling cars and soup—nothing to do with eating cereal.
Hey, that’s it! They’re using the boxes for advertising. The colors, games, and
people . . . that’s how they grab my attention. But selling me something
else . . . that’s what they’re really trying to do! . . . Hey, follow-up
braintalking really works! And Chapter Four’s 1-2-3 Maps will show me
how to put it all together!
30 visual writing
plot diagram
A plot diagram is a graphic rendering of the main events of a factual or fic-

tional story. One diagonal line represents the rising action of a story. A short-
er line to the right represents the falling action, resolution, or to put it sim-
ply: what happens at the end. A dot connects the two lines, representing the
high point of a story, or climax, after which everything falls into place.
Plot diagrams help writers write about a personal experience or create a fic-
tional story that is based on specific directions. With important minutes tick-
ing away from the finite amount of time essay tests allow, a plot diagram helps
you quickly map out a sequence of events that suits your essay’s directive and
helps maintain the focus of your story. Because stories—whether real or
imaginary—include settings and characters, plot diagrams should really be
one part of a story map, which includes two important word webs: one for
setting and one (at least) for the main character.
Essay prompts signal the usefulness of plot diagrams and story maps when
they include the phrases (no surprise here):
■ Write a story . . .
■ Share an experience, real or imaginary . . .

plot diagram
Cereal Essay Prompt #6: Write a story about a

girl who breaks her tooth on the prize
inside a cereal box. (Narration)
Braintalk: Okay, Brain, you have
A plot diagram is important to the writer asked 30 minutes. Figure out where,
to write a story, because it allows you to map who, and how. She breaks a
out a sequence of events that suits the essay’s tooth . . . so what? Make it funny
directive and helps maintain your story’s focus. . . . How? Make her a brat!
Don’t forget quick word webs to establish your
setting and characters. Of course, a braintalk like
the one to the right will help too!
*The name of the main character, Samantha, came to mind only after writing on the plot dia-
gram that mom yells for quiet. Don’t waste time thinking of names for characters. Their
names emerge as you develop your story and your characters come alive.
32 visual writing
practice with pizza!
The visual maps based on prompts regarding cereal (including the cyclical map
you created for your typical day), have prepared you for the next set of activ-
ities. Suggestions will be offered, but you decide which visual map best suits
each prompt. Remember: Your visual maps are graphic organizers
that lead to bigger and better things to follow: 1-2-3 maps and
essays!
You are on your way to discovering how visual maps are the graphic
organizers that fit into 1-2-3 maps that produce effective essays.
Right now—practice with pizza!
TRY IT OUT:
■ Descriptive: Describe the condition of a pepperoni pizza that has been
delivered—one hour late!
■ Narrative: Write a story about a teenage boy who ate a whole pizza.
■ Informative: Use any resources available to you (including Web or textual
searches) to write a speech that explains why pizza provides a nutritionally
sound meal.
■ Persuasive: Your science teacher has asked the class to determine which meal
contains more nutritional value: two slices of pizza OR turkey on whole wheat.
Using what you know about these foods, convince your teacher that your answer
is correct.

PIZZA ACTIVITY #1 DESCRIPTIVE:
Describe the condition of a pepperoni pizza that has
been delivered—one hour late!
34 visual writing
PIZZA ACTIVITY #2 NARRATIVE:

Write a story about a teenage boy who ate a whole pizza.

PIZZA ACTIVITY #3 INFORMATIVE:
Use any resources available to you
(including the Web or books) to write a speech that
explains why pizza provides a nutritionally sound meal.
36 visual writing
PIZZA ACTIVITY #4 PERSUASIVE:
Your science teacher has asked the class to determine
which meal contains more nutritional value—two slices of
pizza, or turkey on whole wheat. Using what you know
about these foods, convince your teacher that your
answer is correct.

make the connection to
your writing
sharpening your organizational skills
Before continuing your exploration of

Visual Writing, complete the activities
below to reinforce your understanding of
the value of visual writing. The more you
practice graphic organizing in a non-threat-
ening environment—wherever you are right
now—the more you will be able to com-
fortably and confidently call upon your skills
when your environment is a little more
threatening: the essay testing room!
1. Create a visual map that graphically organizes all aspects of a zoo.
2. Think about the following essay topics, each of them concerning zoos:
a. Describe the day in the life of a particular animal living at the zoo.
b. Share your fondest or worst experience related to a visit to the zoo.
c. Prepare a speech for your school’s foreign exchange students who
will be touring your local zoo. Use what you know about your
local zoo or zoos in general to explain to them what they can
expect from their visit.
d.Many people believe that zoos provide a wonderful opportunity
to see and experience animals they would otherwise never see.
Animal rights activists contend that zoos are inhumane. Write an
essay that expresses your viewpoint.
3. Now that you have read each of the topics above, consider the following:
a. Is my map about zoos thorough enough to answer one or more of
the prompts above or are there more details I must add so that I
might respond to, or address, these essay questions?
38 visual writing
b. Are some details relevant to one essay prompt but not the others?
c. What other graphic organizers might I construct that would be
more useful to addressing particular prompts? (Example: a plot dia-
gram for Essay B.)
4. Define or explain each of the graphic organizers listed below and the
types of essays for which they are best suited. (You may want to con-
struct a visual map to answer this question . . . Hint, hint.) You can
write your answers on page 40.
■ Hierarchical map
■ Venn Diagram
■ Sequential Chart
■ Cyclical Map
■ Word Web
■ Plot Diagram
5. What is the purpose of a follow-up braintalk? You can write your

answers on page 40.
When you finish this section, you’ll be ready to learn about 1-2-3
maps! www.elsolucionario.org

40 visual writing
chapter
four
1-2-3 Maps:
Using Visual Maps
toWrite Essays
by now you understand visual maps,
the many varieties you can create, and
their usefulness during those nail-biting,
heart-stopping moments when you
must face essay tests.
But how does a visual map translate
into prose on the essay, the fancy word
for ordinary writing otherwise known
as sentences and paragraphs? How do
you transform Venn or plot diagrams,
word maps, etc., into the introductory,
body, and concluding paragraphs
required of essays? It’s as easy as one,
two, three.
1-2-3 maps 41
putting it all together
In Chapter Three you constructed a variety of visual maps based on essay

prompts all related to cereal, so you should have proven to yourself that you
and your brain really know how to pick things apart. If so, you are ready to
learn how your already-prepared visual maps become the middle sections of
1-2-3 maps.
1-2-3 maps organize your 1) introductory, 2) body, and 3) concluding
paragraphs. Whether you write one or one
hundred paragraphs, an essay must have an
Remember: Whether you write introduction, a body of supporting details,
one or one hundred paragraphs, and a conclusion.
an essay must have an introduc- The 1-2-3 map graphically separates each
tion, a body of supporting de- of these important sections, reminding you
tails, and a conclusion. of their order.
Let’s consider the filtering system that
saved the Apollo 13 astronauts again, only
now we will relate it to the 1-2-3 map. The objective of the Apollo 13 engi-
neers was to build a filtering system that would ensure safe air
for the endangered astronauts. The engineers meeting
their objective depended on three sections: a box, a
cylinder, and a hose in the middle that would ulti-
mately connect them. Though the parts were
very distinct, their connection was critical to the
success of that objective. Each essay you write has
an objective, too. Determined by your essay
prompt, that objective relies on three sections: an
introduction, a conclusion, and a body of support in
the middle that ultimately connects them. Like the air fil-
ter parts, the connection of the three sections is very critical to the quality,
and therefore success, of your essay.
The first and last shapes of your 1-2-3 map compare to the Apollo 13 box and cylinder,
and the middle part, your graphic organizer, is word widgets and gadgets that connect
those parts!
42 visual writing
1-2-3 maps—breathing life into your essays
Let’s use the Venn diagram constructed in Chapter Three, which contrasted
the differences between cereal and bacon and eggs for breakfast. Sure, the
Venn diagram clearly separated the information necessary to respond to the
essay prompt that asked the writer to choose between breakfasts, but now
what? Where do you begin? And begin is what you must do to write an essay!
the 1-2-3 plan
N O MATTER HOW many pages you take to write an essay, each page and
each paragraph is connected to the other. The connecting sections can be
summed up in several different sets of three words: beginning, middle, end;
start, middle, finish; introduction, body, conclusion: 1-2-3.
So, where do you find the first part of your essay in Venn or plot diagrams,
or cyclical maps? You don’t—not unless you construct and complete the
graphic organizer appropriate for each essay, as part of a 1-2-3 map. The
1-2-3 map borrows shapes used by the Apollo 13 engineers for their air fil-
ter solution. The box and cylinder fit our 1-2-3 map objective perfectly.
constructing a 1-2-3 map for an essay
1. At the top of your paper, draw a small box and write key words that
identify the essay’s objective, topic, purpose, etc.
2. At the bottom, draw a small cylinder in which you write the same words
that were written in the box.
3. In the middle, construct and complete the graphic organizer appropri-
ate to the essay objective, then draw a circle (the hose!) around it, con-
necting your middle to the top and bottom.
There you have it! The organization for your opening, middle, and clos-
ing paragraphs. Let’s take a look at how a 1-2-3 Map connects all the parts
of a well-constructed essay.
1-2-3 maps 43
a visual on the 1-2-3 map
1
w r i t e your essay’s objective
here in your opening.
2 c o n s t r u c t the graphic
organizer that best suits your essay
prompt in this space. The connecting
hose encircles the supporting details
that your visual map generates. The
hose encircling these details reminds
you to connect your graphic organizer
with opening and closing paragraphs,
which identify your essay’s
objective.
3 w r i t e your objective here

too, so you remember to
restate it in your conclusion.
44 visual writing
follow-up braintalks
After setting up your 1-2-3 map, you will want to conduct a follow-up
braintalk, mentioned in Chapter Three. Whether mental or written, the fol-
low-up directs your brain to sequence or reorganize your middle map’s words
and phrases so that you can effectively apply your 1-2-3 map’s contents to
well-written paragraphs.
Follow-Up Braintalk: I need to work on my middle map so my essay runs smoothly—from

start to finish!
the 1-2-3 map and follow-up braintalk
cereal essay # 1
YOU WILL NOTICE a few additions to the original map in Chapter Three,
which compared cereal to bacon and egg breakfasts: the box and cylinder.
You see the objective of the essay
twice, once in the box and once again
in the cylinder shape, reminding the The hose is drawn to remind you that
writer that effective essays always state the middle part, which becomes the
and restate an essay’s purpose in both body paragraphs, must connect your
the introductory and concluding para- beginning to your ending. The more
graphs. you practice the 1-2-3 Map, the sub-
The shapes, borrowed from the tler your connectors can be.
Apollo 13 shapes, are connected to one
another by, in this case, a Venn diagram.
The diagram contains the details that
distinguish the two breakfasts. The hose
is drawn to remind you that the middle part, which becomes the body para-
graphs, must connect your beginning to your ending. The more you prac-
tice the 1-2-3 map, the less need you have to actually draw the connectors.
As you examine this 1-2-3 map, read the follow-up braintalk carefully and
pay attention to the additions that were made to the original Venn diagram.
You will read the essay generated by the map shortly.
1-2-3 maps 45
making connections to your writing
How is the box like an introductory paragraph?

How is the visual map encircled by a hose like body paragraphs?
How is the cylinder like a concluding paragraph?
You will find the answers to the questions in this chapter. Now let’s have a
look at the essays about cereal. When you notice that the 1-2-3 map designs
and shapes differ, remember: artistic creativity is permissible!
venn diagram 1-2-3 map
Recall: Cereal Essay #1: You are asked to choose your club’s end-of-
year breakfast meeting menu: cereal or bacon and eggs? Convince
your fellow members that your choice of breakfast is the best
choice.
46 visual writing
1-2-3 maps 47
Follow-up Braintalk: Okay, I think cereal is the best choice, so I put that in my open-
ing and closing. I wrote a lot of facts in my Venn diagram. Now what? My opening should
grab attention. I’ll open with the “fat” and “bad” stuff. I’ll put all the good stuff about cere-
al in the middle and I’ll end with how bacon and eggs might smell and taste good, but
they’re bad for you. Being breakfast foods is the only thing they have in common. I’ll use
that in my opening and closing.
from 1-2-3 maps to essays
Cereal Essay Prompt #1: You are asked to decide the menu for your
club’s end-of-year breakfast meeting: cereal or bacon and eggs?
Convince your fellow members that your choice of breakfast is the
best choice. (Persuasion)
venn diagram student sample

(Notice how the concepts in the Venn diagram on the previous page appear in the essay.)
Cholesterol. Fat. Two bad, bad, words in our health-conscious

society. How can anyone think that a bacon and eggs breakfast
would be the choice to make for our club’s last meeting? Sure,
everyone needs the energy they get from breakfast, and bacon and
eggs is a breakfast meal. But is it a good one? NO! Cereal, on the
other hand, is a good meal and my choice for our end-of-year
breakfast meeting.
First of all, you always pour milk on cereal so that means calci-
um. And calcium means strong bones. And if you’re wondering,
2% fat milk has just as much calcium as whole milk with hardly any
fat so we should use 2%. If strong bones are important to you then
so are muscles, especially if you want to look buff. Since milk is a
protein food it will be good for your muscles.
As for the cereal part of a cereal and milk breakfast, it is usual-
ly no fat or low fat. Sure, cereal will keep you thin, but that’s not
the reason we should serve it at our breakfast. The real reason is
carbohydrates, which give us energy—energy to keep up with
school, sports, and more.
48 visual writing
I agree with my fellow club members who may say that bacon
and eggs smell so good and taste so good, but eat enough of them
and they will make you fat and clog your arteries. And did anyone
here think of who’s going to cook them? And where? Our club
members have worked hard this year. We shouldn’t do more work
now! Cereal is so easy: milk, box, and bowl. Eat.
I think I proved my point. The only thing these breakfast foods
have in common is the fact that they are breakfast foods. Though
bacon and eggs wins the taste contest for some, I say let’s go with
the healthier cereal breakfast. Now . . . when do we eat?
hierarchical 1-2-3
Map Recall: Cereal Essay #2: Using information gathered from ran-
dom cereal boxes given to you, identify the nutritional benefits
derived from eating a cereal breakfast. (Informative)
Braintalk: Just follow the flow. It’s

very clear. Summarize the three
benefits in the end.
1-2-3 maps 49
50 visual writing
Follow-Up Braintalk: Start with questions to grab audience.
hierarchical student sample 1:
So how many paragraphs will this essay have? From the looks of the 1-2-3
map, there will be three. If the writer plans to develop each subconcept, it
may contain five. Let’s see how one student did it.
the breakfast of champions

How do you choose your breakfast foods? Do you like conven-
ience—do you choose a Pop-Tart® kind of food? Or do you want
nutrition and therefore choose a breakfast cereal? That’s what I do,
and I do it for three reasons: carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals,
and protein.
Cereal is a major source of carbohydrates. By the time you reach
junior high school, you know that carbohydrates provide the body
with the energy it needs to function. Our bodies do not do any-
thing without carbohydrates. Thinking, running, writing, and
everything else the body does needs energy, and cereal provides it.
If you take a look at the side of any cereal box, you will see a
breakdown of its vitamins and minerals. There are a lot of them
too, and they are all good for your body. But the best thing a cere-
al breakfast contains is calcium. That’s because of the milk you add
to your cereal. You don’t eat it dry, do you? How often have you
been reminded by your parents to drink your milk? It’s good for
your bones. Well, they’re right. As teenagers we need to remember
our bones; they’re still growing. If we don’t supply them with foods
like milk, then we risk breaking our bones and not developing
them properly. Most teenagers drink Coke, Pepsi, or Gatorade dur-
ing the day, so it just makes sense to eat a breakfast cereal, and add
milk to that cereal so we get our calcium.
Besides calcium, milk is also a good protein source. The cereal has
a little protein too, but the milk has more. Protein is an essential
1-2-3 maps 51
nutrient that maintains, repairs, and builds our muscles. It’s even
good for our blood somehow.
By now you know about the nutritional benefits that a cereal
breakfast supplies. It will start your day off right with a blast of
energy. Cereal gives you strong bones because when you eat it with
milk you get calcium, in addition to all the vitamins and minerals
that the cereal and milk have for your body. And finally, a cereal
breakfast helps your muscles stay fit because of its protein. There
you have it. Cereal really is the “breakfast of champions.”
Sample 1 did have five paragraphs. Did you know that she added that great
title “Breakfast of Champions,” after she wrote her last sentence? That’s how
she got the idea for it. Now let’s have a look at Sample 2, a shorter essay using
the same visual map. It won’t be as developed as the five-paragraph essay
above, but maybe it will still be good.
hierarchical student sample 2:
cereal
Cereal is a very nutritious food. When you add milk, it’s an excel-
lent source of many nutrients. I will discuss the nutrients in a corn
flakes and milk breakfast. They are carbohydrates, vitamins and
minerals, and protein.
Milk provides protein, which builds our muscles. Cereal has some
protein but not as much as milk. Carbohydrates are important
because they give our bodies energy. Vitamins and minerals are
important because they maintain all our bodies’ functions. Calcium,
which is a mineral found in milk, is very important for strong bones.
This essay doesn’t make sense and it’s boring. The information may be
right but it’s all mixed up. And it’s flat.
This writer needs to remember to use the 1-2-3 map and voice, the writer’s
tool that prevents flat writing. Chapter Five describes strategies that add voice
to writing; it’s like pulling the audience in with questions as in Sample 1.
52 visual writing
word web’s 1-2-3 map
Recall: Cereal Essay #5: Why do you believe cereal manufacturers

spend so much time and money on packaging design? (Informative)
1-2-3 maps 53
Follow-up Braintalk: Okay. My left brain did a great job separating the parts of a cere-
al box. Now, Brain, make the connections! What’s my word web telling me? The col-
ors are attractive . . . the games are cool . . . so are the people they put on the boxes.
But some of these words just don’t have anything to do with cereal. I’ll underline them:
famous people, ads selling cars and soup—nothing to do with eating cereal. . . . Hey,
that’s it! They’re using the boxes for advertising. The bright colors, games, and people
. . . that’s how they grab attention. But selling something else . . . that’s what they’re
really trying to do!
word web student sample
This student wrote: “Important words—people—games—ads” on top of her

paper to remind herself of the main ideas she had identified in her word map.
Notice how each of those words guide her body paragraphs.
Important words—people—games—ads
catching the consumer

“Mother approved.” Anyone would eat a cereal that had “mother
approved” stamped on the front of the box. “Kid tested.” Kids
would eat that cereal, wouldn’t they? These are two phrases I saw
while I was examining cereal boxes. But the question is why do
cereal manufacturers spend so much money on packaging their
product? After a closer look at many cereal boxes, I have come up
with the answer. And it has nothing to do with kids testing or
mothers approving anything. It has to do with advertising.
If you think about it, it makes sense. They spend loads of
money—probably millions—to get famous athletes like Michael
Jordan to pose for the front of cereal boxes. Why would they spend
so much money unless they were going to make more money? To
understand how they make more money, you need to look at all
the panels of a cereal box carefully.
On the back you will usually see fun games like crossword puz-
zles and mazes. But you will also see advertisements. I had one box
of cereal that was advertising pickup trucks and another that was
54 visual writing
advertising soup. Soup! After I saw that, I looked to the side panels
and saw ingredients and nutrition charts, but I also saw coupons too.
Cereal boxes have all kinds of coupons. Some coupons let you buy
products, while others allow you to get information about different
products. One box had a coupon for a Sesame Street coloring book.
What little kid wouldn’t ask for that? Of course, their parents will
probably buy it, and they don’t even have to go to the store to buy it.
So why do cereal manufacturers spend so much time and money
on packaging? Because those bright boxes give them a chance
for advertising. General Mills, Post, and Kellogg’s spend a lot of
time learning about consumers, and they learned that the cereal
box packaging will help them catch the consumers who read those
boxes and buy the products they advertise.
sequential chart 1-2-3 map
Recall: Cereal Essay #3: Describe what happens to a bowl of cereal

that sits too long. (Description)
Some 1-2-3 maps are really easy! The box and cylinder will remind this
writer to open and close his essay properly. He wrote the same thing in both
shapes and added “Terrible!” to the closing. That proves he probably under-
stands the rules for “organization.” He knows that the ending must be like
the opening but a little different, so that readers will finish reading the essay
feeling satisfied. Let’s see if he succeeds.
sequential chart student sample
time: cereal’s enemy

Cereal is usually a delicious, crunchy treat. But when you leave it
in your bowl too long, a few things will happen and none of them
are good. Let’s say you pour milk on your cereal and then leave the
table to get something. Even if it’s just for a few minutes the cere-
al will lose its crunch. It will look a little paler too, but your milk
1-2-3 maps 55
will probably have new color. If it’s a cereal like Fruit Loops, then
the milk will be light pink. A little longer and really bad things start
happening. Take a bite. The cereal is limp. There’s nothing to
chew. Your tongue can just mash it! The more time cereal lays in
the bowl, the worse it gets—then it’s totally soggy and bland. You’ll
probably grab a frozen waffle and eat that before you would want
to eat an old bowl of mushy cereal. Terrible! There’s a saying that
time waits for no man. It doesn’t wait for cereal either.
That’s a great title and a pretty clever ending that suits it. But . . . they’re
not in the 1-2-3 Map. Where did they come from?
The organization derived from 1-2-3 maps provides writers with more
time to work on their word choice and sentence structure!
plot diagram 1-2-3
Map Recall: Cereal Essay #6: Write a story about a girl who breaks her
tooth on the prize inside a cereal box. (Narration: refer back to
Chapter Three to review the need for setting and character word
webs.)
Braintalk: Okay, Brain, you have

50 minutes. Figure out where,
who, and how. She breaks a tooth
. . . so what? Make it funny . . .
How? Make her a brat!
56 visual writing
1-2-3 maps 57
Follow-up Braintalk: 30 minutes left . . . get to work and make it good!
plot diagram student sample
the stupid magic ring

“Breakfast’s on the table!” their mother shouted. Michael and Katie
ran to the table, giggling and poking each other as they went.
“Will you two brats keep quiet,” Samantha yelled. Their older sis-
ter was always bossing them around. Although the twins wanted to
yell back, they didn’t dare. Samantha could get really nasty at times.
Samantha sat in her seat and watched impatiently as Michael
poured milk on his Cocoa Puffs and Katie poured the cereal into
her bowl. Bright orange letters “FREE INSIDE” caught
Samantha’s attention. She immediately grabbed the box from Katie
who cried, “Hey, give that back!”
“No way, brat. Not until I get the magic ring. It’s mine!”
“Mom,” Michael yelled, “Samantha won’t give Katie the Cocoa
Puffs!”
“MOM!” Katie screamed, “I was pouring my cereal and . . . ”
“Both of you . . . quiet!” their mother yelled.
Samantha smirked since she knew her mother wasn’t yelling at
her. Her brother and sister frowned and pushed away from the
table. They ran to get their mother who was walking towards the
kitchen.
Meanwhile, Samantha was forcing her hand deep into the box.
Nothing. She found nothing. Disgusted, she reached for her broth-
er’s bowl and shoved a huge spoonful into her mouth. “OW!” she
howled.
“What’s the matter, honey?” her mother asked.
“My tooth, agh . . . it’s broken!”
Samantha’s mother rushed to her side. Samantha was right. She
was holding a part of her tooth in her hand along with the free
magic ring she had been searching for.
Samantha’s mother tried to comfort her but it was no use.
58 visual writing
Samantha was bawling. Her mother picked up the phone and told
her daughter she would get her into the dentist’s office immedi-
ately. Now the twins giggled and made faces at their big sister, but
Samantha was too upset to mind them. She was now thinking
about the field trip to the city that she would miss, all because of
that stupid prize in the cereal box.
student sample essay “my room”
Reconsider the word web from Chapter Two entitled “My Room.” You will
notice that for this sample the introductory and concluding shapes have been
added by the writer to complete his 1-2-3 map. Examine his essay’s prompt
and essay, which follow.
essay prompt
Your cousin is visiting from out of town and will be staying with you for a week.
Write an essay that describes your room so that your cousin will know what to
expect. www.elsolucionario.org
1-2-3 map and braintalk: my room
Braintalk: My cousin needs to know

about my room before he comes. No
problem. Entertainment first. The fact
that it’s a cool room last.
1-2-3 maps 59
This student did not conduct a follow-up braintalk. He felt he was clear as to what he had to
do for this essay. His braintalk was a mental rather than written conversation and is recreated to
represent its content.
60 visual writing
sample essay using 1-2-3 map: “my room”
Hey Jeff,
How’s it going? Before you come over I thought I’d let you
know about where you’ll be staying. You haven’t been here in a
while. I finally have my own room. It’s small, but it’s pretty cool.
Bring any CDs you like because I have my own TV and stereo.
They’re built into my entertainment center. There’s room for a
computer on it, but so far that space is empty. I’m still trying to talk
my parents into getting me one for my room. In the meantime
we’ll have to use library computers.
Even though I don’t have a computer in my room, you’ll still be
able to communicate with the real world with pretty good privacy.
I have my own phone! That means you won’t need to worry about
my parents eavesdropping.
Since you will be here for the whole summer, bring some books
along. I have a few books and plenty of magazines that I keep in a
magazine stand by my window. There’s room enough in it for any
books you bring as long as you don’t bring too many.
I guess that’s all I have to tell except my room only has one bed
that we’ll have to fight for, unless you bring a sleeping bag. I don’t
mind taking turns sleeping in it if you want.
That’s it. It’s a pretty comfortable room. Even though it doesn’t
have a computer, you can chat with me. Get it? That’s a joke. Chat.
Chat room. Oh well.
See you soon.
1-2-3 maps 61
make the connection
to your writing
Before you try a few 1-2-3 maps

and essays of your own, revisit each
sample and look for the writing
strategies used by some of the writ-
ers:
■ questions that grab audience

attention
■ sentence variety
■ effective transitions from one
paragraph to the next
■ effective word choice
■ titles reflective of the entire essay
Good writers are always thinking about ways to make their writing inter-
esting. They know that 1-2-3 maps are an organized set of words that
become quality essays because of writing strategies purposefully and effec-
tively selected and executed. In the next chapter you will read about writing
strategies like those mentioned above. For now, it’s your turn to try it out.
Write on!
62 visual writing
activity 1: cyclical 1-2-3 map
Cereal Essay #4:

Describe a typical day in the life of a teenager. (Description)
1-2-3 maps 63
activity 2: “my room”
Use the word web you prepared in Chapter Two for your room, complete a
1-2-3 map, and use it to write your essay for the prompt:
Your cousin is visiting from out of town and will be staying

with you for a week. Write an essay that describes your room
so that your cousin will know what to expect.
64 visual writing
activities 3, 4, 5, 6: pizza!
Prepare 1-2-3 maps and write essays for each of the prompts in Chapter
Three concerning the subject pizza, for which you have already prepared
visual maps. Be sure to add the necessary shapes to complete each of your 1-
2-3 maps, and conduct mental or written braintalks before writing your essays.
■ There should be space for you to add a box and cylinder above and
below the visual maps you have already completed. If there isn’t, attach
Post-its™ or paper shapes, which you can tape to your original maps as
needed.
■ Write words and phrases in the shapes you draw to reflect the essay’s
main objective, e.g., describe room for cousin.
■ Examine your visual maps carefully, looking for organizational patterns
you might be able to use to identify like subtopics with numbers, check
marks, circling, whatever makes sense to you.
alternative assignment lesson

I F YOU FAIL to complete all of the above writing assignments, you will need
to write the following statement one hundred times: The more essays I write,
the better at essay writing I become.
1-2-3 maps 65
chapter
five
The Good,
the Bad,
and the Ugly:
Winning and
Losingwww.elsolucionario.org
Essays
in Chapter Four, you completed a
variety of 1-2-3 Maps and essays for
each kind of writing. But the question
is: Do the essays demonstrate writing
proficiency and to what extent? Another
way of putting it is: Are they good, bad, or
ugly?
You need some constructive feed-
back that starts with a self-assessment of
your own writing skills. Understanding
the rubrics introduced in Chapter Two
will help you. They are Idea and
Content; Organization;Voice;Word Choice;
Sentence Fluency; Conventions/Mechanics.
In this chapter you will learn about
rubrics—the rules and essential princi-
the good, the bad, and the ugly 67

ples of good writing. You will learn to work with rubrics, so that they can
work for you when you write; you will understand each rubric in general and
how they relate to your writing in particular. And you will understand how
and why visual writing helps you with all the aspects of good writing, not just
organization.
In other words this chapter makes you ready: essay test ready!
organization: the name of the writing game
W HETHER YOU LIVE in Bangor, Maine, or Honolulu, Hawaii, rubrics are

the rules that are used to determine or assess your grade in writing. While
the terminology of rubrics may vary slightly depending on where you live,
organization, the first of six rubrics we will explore, is the most important.
Read the following objective for writing assessment from the National
Assessment of Educational Progress, NAEP, the people who oversee the most
notable writing assessment tests in our country, as well as publish The Nation’s
Report Card:
Students should display effective choices in the organization of

their writing. They should include details to illustrate and elaborate
their ideas, and use appropriate conventions of written English.*
With its emphasis on organization, this quote clearly illustrates how your
writing success is almost guaranteed when you rely on the principles of visu-
al writing that guide your essay’s organization.
organization rules!
YOU WILL LEARN and understand rubrics by using them. Let’s examine the
two essay samples from the previous chapter whose topic was the nutrition-
al value of a cereal breakfast. Remember: Each student worked from the
same hierarchical map.
*Writing Framework and Specifications for the 1998 National Assessment of Educational
Progress, p. 27.
68 visual writing
1-2-3 maps and organization
Here are essential characteristics or traits that define the term organization on
most rubrics:
■ inviting introduction
■ thoughtful transitions
■ logical, effective sequencing
■ controlled pacing
■ smooth flow throughout text
■ satisfying conclusion
student sample 1
“the breakfast of champions”

How do you choose your breakfast foods? Do you want convenience,
and so you choose a Pop-Tart® kind of food? Or do you want nutri-
tion and therefore choose a cereal breakfast? That’s what I do, and I do
it for three reasons: Carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, and protein.
Cereal is a major source of carbohydrates. By the time you reach
junior high school, you know that carbohydrates provide the body
with the energy it needs to function. Our bodies do not do any-
thing without carbohydrates. Thinking, running, writing, and
everything else the body does requires energy, and cereal provides it.
If you take a look at the side of any cereal box, you will see a
breakdown of its vitamins and minerals. There are a lot of them too,
and they are all good for your body. But the best mineral a cereal
breakfast contains is calcium. That’s because of the milk you add to
your cereal. You don’t eat it dry, do you? How often have you been
reminded by your parents to drink your milk? It’s good for your
bones. Well they’re right. As teenagers, we need to remember our
bones; they’re still growing. If we don’t supply them with foods like
milk, then we risk breaking our bones or not developing them
properly. Most of us drink Coke or Pepsi during the day, so it just
makes sense to add milk to your cereal so you get your calcium.

Besides calcium, the milk you pour on your cereal is also a good
protein source. The cereal has a little protein too, but the milk has
more. Protein is an essential nutrient that maintains, repairs, and
builds our muscles. It’s even good for our blood.
By now you know about the nutritional benefits a cereal break-
fast supplies. It will start your day off right with a blast of energy.
Cereal gives you strong bones. When you eat it with milk you get
calcium in addition to all the vitamins and minerals that the cereal
and milk have for your body. And finally, a cereal breakfast helps
your muscles stay fit because of its protein. There you have it.
Cereal really is the “breakfast of champions.”
the verdict for sample 1
1. Inviting Introduction
The writer invited the reader into her essay

with questions before she identified her topic:
“How do you choose your breakfast foods? Do you
want convenience and so you choose a Pop-Tart ®
kind of food? Or do you want nutrition and therefore
choose a cereal breakfast?” The writer skillfully
answered her own questions, using the subconcepts laid
out in her hierarchical chart: “Carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals, and protein.”
Using topic cues from the box section of her 1-2-3 map as her guide, she
introduces her objective, her thesis statement about the nutrition found in
cereal, and invites the reader into her essay.
2. Thoughtful Transition/Logical/Effective
Sequencing/Controlled Pacing/Smooth
Flow Throughout Text
You can readily see how this writer used the

details from her hierarchical chart, the middle
section of her 1-2-3 map. As a result, her essay
measures up to the rubric traits that expect sequenc-
70 visual writing
ing to be logical and effective. She carries the logic of her chart into her writ-
ing and connects the details with style, helping her sentences and paragraphs
flow effectively, from one to another.
3. Satisfying Conclusion
The ending is satisfying. “There

you have it. Cereal really is the
breakfast of champions.” The
writer used the last section of her 1-
2-3 map to remind herself that an essay
restates the purpose. Rather than a blunt restatement, the writer uses what
she knows about good writing, crafting a satisfying conclusion by quoting a
popular cereal slogan.
student sample 2:
“cereal”
Cereal is a very nutritious food. When you add milk to it, it’s an
excellent source of many nutrients. I will discuss the nutrients in a
corn flakes and milk breakfast. They are carbohydrates, vitamins,
minerals, and protein. Milk provides protein, which builds our
muscles. Cereal has some protein but not as much as milk.
Crabohydrates are important because they give our bodies energy.
Vitamins and minerals are important because they maintain all our
bodies’ functions. Calcium, which is a mineral found in milk, is
very important for strong bones.
1. Inviting Introduction—NO!
If this essay were on trial, its defense would not be strong enough to win
the case! In a most boring fashion, this writer merely tells the reader that
cereal is nutritious. Rather than apply the words in the box of the 1-2-3
map as a guide, he merely recopied them: “I will discuss the nutrients in a corn
flakes and milk breakfast.They are carbohydrates, . . . ”

2. Thoughtful Transition/Sequencing-Logical/Effective Pacing
Controlled/Flows Smoothly
Not one of these four traits for organization is evident. This essay begs the
question: Why construct a graphic organizer and a 1-2-3 map if you don’t
intend to follow it? The student’s statements, especially those made about
milk, are written in a very arbitrary way; information about the calcium in
milk is in the last sentence when several sentences earlier, the student
informed the reader about the protein in milk. Didn’t he remember that his
1-2-3 map was constructed to remind him that he needed to restate his
objective? It wasn’t about milk and calcium.
3. Satisfying Conclusion
Satisfying? There isn’t even a conclusion to evaluate! The writer did not
follow his 1-2-3 map and leaves his readers and his essay hanging.
use it or lose it!
I F YOU PREPARE graphic organizers for the topics laid out by essay prompts,
if you construct 1-2-3 maps because you understand how they remind you
of essential beginning, middle, and ending statements or paragraphs, please
use them! Visual maps are not the end; they are the means to the end. Here’s
how The Nation’s Report Card experts say it:
Students may express their ideas and organize their response in an

outline, list, word web or other means. With the time constraints
in mind, students should then move to the stage of compo-
sition, during which they draft the material in sentence and para-
graph form.*
Progress, p. 27.
72 visual writing
plan the play and play your plan
YOU HAVE A large reading audience: parents, teachers, state officials, and
national organizations like NAEP. With visual writing, you will be ready for
them all, no matter what the reason for their interest in your work.
Plan your essay’s strategy through visual writing; then, please play your
plan. Now that you’ve familiarized yourself with the rubric for organization,
you are ready to continue.
organization: the springboard of effective writing
L ET ’ S TAKE A different, graphic, look at the six rubrics as well as NAEP’s

writing assessment objective, whose hierarchy began with organization:
Students should display effective choices in the organization of their writing. They
should include details to illustrate and elaborate their ideas, and use appropriate con-
ventions of written English:

The more you understand the characteristics for each rubric, the more you
appreciate the importance of organization!
tools of style:
voice, word choice, sentence fluency
Word Choice
➧ specific and accurate
➧ creates specific pictures
➧ effective verbs, nouns, etc.
➧ precise use of words
Voice
➧ strong, engaging interaction between reader and writer
➧ appropriate for purpose and audience
➧ reflects strong, honest commitment to topic
Sentence Structure
➧ strong, varied, purposeful
➧ well-constructed sentences
➧ natural dialogue (if used)
➧ fragments, if used, add style
Word choice, voice, and sentence structure are the tools writers use. Like
teenagers on skateboards, some ride them with the hope of not falling off.
And others ride them with style. They add twists, turns, ollies. They make
their tricks seem so easy. And they don’t execute all their tricks at once. They
add style. They know friends are watching; they have an audience and they
want to connect to that audience. They organize in their mind the sequence
of the tricks they will perform. They connect them smoothly with transi-
tional moves, all to the delight of both performer and audience.
74 visual writing
writing style—the details that score
Like the masters of skateboards, good writers pay attention to their reading
audiences. They organize the ideas and details their visual maps present.
They refrain from presenting them all at once. Like the skateboard artist, they
link their ideas together, connecting them smoothly with purposeful transi-
tional words and sentences, indeed, to the delight of writer and audience.
Looking back to Sample 1, you should be able to recognize how the writer
used her natural teenage voice to connect with her peers and how the words and
sentences she chose contributed to her overall skillful completion of this essay.
Sample 2 displays little if any sense of voice, word choice or sentence flu-
ency: “I will discuss the nutrients in a corn flakes and milk breakfast.They are car-
bohydrates, vitamins, minerals, and protein.”
How might this student have written his thesis statement with attention to
these three important rubrics? The writer of Sample 1 did it this way: “How do
you choose your breakfast foods? Do you want convenience and so you choose a Pop-Tart ®
kind of food? Or do you want nutrition and therefore choose a cereal breakfast? That’s
what I do and I do it for three reasons: Carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, and protein.”

As you can see, working with rubrics isn’t that difficult!
idea and content
➧ narrow topic
➧ fresh, original ideas
➧ relevant quality details
➧ accurate, supportive details
T HE CHARACTERISTICS FOR Idea and Content, especially fresh and original

ideas really do reflect the writer’s goal to illustrate and elaborate ideas. But how
do good writers elaborate their ideas? Here’s what The Nation’s Report Card
experts look for:
One important aspect of the writing process is the student’s ability

to incorporate effective supportive material into a given piece of
writing. The selection of quotations, examples, anecdotes, and
other forms of detail show the writer’s expertise in choosing mate-
rial that enriches a given writing task. The choices a writer makes
and the explanations attached to those choices, provide insight into
the writer’s ability to synthesize ideas.*
If you reread Sample 1, you will see that the writer understands the impor-
tance of including effective supportive material. Besides quoting “breakfast of
champions,” she uses an anecdote about the importance of drinking milk:
“How often have you been reminded by your parents to drink your milk? It’s good for
your bones.” She uses several examples that address her defined audience, her
peers, for example, “By the time you reach junior high school, you know that carbo-
hydrates provide the body with the energy . . . ”
76 visual writing
Progress, p. 27.

conventions/mechanics
➧ spelling
➧ grammar
➧ usage
➧ paragraphing
➧ capitalization
T HERE IS ONE rubric that is easier to explain than the others:

Conventions/Mechanics. Translated, this means spelling, grammar, and
correct usage of troublesome words like too, to, and two. These are the
things that this rubric pays attention to. The NAEP quote states that writ-
ers should “use appropriate conventions of written English.” Of course we
should. The harder we work on what we write, the more we should care
about how we present it.
If you look back at Samples 1 and 2, you will see a big difference in the
quality of the mechanical skills of the two students. While Sample 1 displays
few if any errors, Sample 2 has several errors: “carbohydrates” is misspelled
in one place while correctly in another; “its” is misused; and there is a frag-
ment in the last statement. Considering the nature of the errors, this writer
should have spotted and corrected at least two of them during a careful
proofreading. Still, a few errors aren’t too bad, which leads us to another
aspect of scoring with rubrics. How do rubrics generate scores?
i don’t care about rubrics . . . what’s my grade?
G OOD TEACHERS TRY to help young writers master the craft of writing by
training them to understand and use rubrics. But their young writers are stu-
dents, after all. And students want to know their grades.
Scoring with rubrics is different from percentages or letter grades. Some
schools give numerical grades based on 1 to 4, with 4 the equivalent of
proficiency or passing. Many schools, however, model their scoring systems
78 visual writing
79
questions that are meant to help you evaluate your essays. USE THEM! You
When climbing the score ladder to success, first impressions very definitely
after NAEP’s suggested six-point scale, with six meaning excellent or
rubric score sheet
the good, the bad, and the ugly

Very often essay test directions include a Writer’s Checklist made up of guiding
will increase your writing skills as well as your insight into what scorers are
count. School districts often prohibit teachers from scoring their own stu-
look like, what rubrics and grades look like together, and then you’ll read
dents’ writings. They believe that anonymity helps teachers grade more
organization: Scorers hate being confused by essays they’re forced to read. So

objectively. Actually, it’s true. There’s not a teacher out there who hasn’t
deciphered meaning from confusing text, because they knew the child who
wrote it and used that knowledge in a kind of, “This was confusing, but
I know what they meant” kind of way. That’s another reason to harness
On the next pages you will see examples of what writing levels or grades
RUBRIC Idea
advanced, five skilled or strong, and four still signifying proficiency.
SCORE SHEET* and Content Organization Voice Word Choice Sentence Fluency Conventions/Mechanics
examples of the kind of questions appearing on Writer’s Checklists.
6-Advanced Exceptionally Effective and Exceptionally Exceptionally Consistently Very few errors.
clear. strong engaging and precise and strong, expressive, Barely noticeable.
Focused. sequencing. expressive. and interesting. and varied.
Interesting.
5-Skilled Consistently Strong. Expressive and Precise and Strong Few errors.
strong. Effective engaging. interesting. and varied.
Effective sequencing.
sequencing.
organize! Stay away from your scorer’s bad side!

4-Sufficient Clear, focused. Sequencing clear, Occasionally Functional and Somewhat varied. Readable in spite of minor
but may be expressive and appropriate to errors.
formulaic. engaging. task.
3-Uneven Overly general Inconsistent. Inappropriately Ordinary. Occasionally Limited control.
and predictable. Undeveloped. personal or Lacking precision. awkward. Errors begin to
Occasionally off-topic. Obvious. impersonal prevent readability.
with reading audience.
2-Insufficient Somewhat unclear. Lacking Mostly flat, or overly Monotonous and/or Awkward and Little control. Frequent and
Minimal consistency and personal or misused. rambling. significant errors prevent
first impressions count!

development. coherence. impersonal. readability.
1-Unsatisfactory Lacks central idea. Lacking Flat. No sense of Extremely limited. Incomplete. Numerous errors seriously
writer’s checklists
Minimal or no coherence. audience awareness. Vague. Rambling or prevent readability.

development. Disjointed. Imprecise. awkward. Need for extensive editing.
Unclear ideas. Obscured
meaning.
scoring!
a sequential climb up the score point ladder of success
*This chart was developed using Arizona’s Official Scoring Guide for AIMS, a six-point, six-trait
analytic rubric.
80 visual writing
rubrics
D EFINITIONS OF THE rubric categories are listed below.
idea and content
Narrow topic/fresh original ideas/relevant quality details/accurate suppor-

tive details
organization
Inviting introduction/thoughtful transitions/logical, effective sequencing/

pacing controlled/smooth flow/satisfying conclusion
voice
Strong interaction between reader and writer/appropriate for purpose and

audience/reflects strong commitment to topic
word choice
Specific and accurate/creates pictures/effective verbs, nouns, etc./precise use

of words
sentence fluency
Well-constructed sentences/strong, varied, purposeful structure/natural dia-

logue if applicable/fragments, if any, add style

conventions/mechanics
Spelling/grammar/usage/paragraphing/capitalization/punctuation/
penmanship
W HAT CAN WRITERS do to improve their writing skills and scores?

Use this 1-2-3 map and descriptions from the rubric score sheet on the
previous page to write an essay that describes a writer’s progression from
unsatisfactory to advanced.
82 visual writing
Tips Before You Start

➧ Reread the essays and analyses of Samples 1 and 2.
➧ Use the following guiding questions to assist you.

try it out
USE THE RUBRIC SCORE SHEET TO HELP YOU COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING ACTIVITIES.
■ Evaluate the essays you have written so far.
■ Evaluate the remaining cereal essays as well as the one entitled “My
Room” located in Chapter Three.
■ Examine each of the 1-2-3 maps for these essays and assess whether they
were used properly.
Guiding Questions
1. Can you underline examples, anecdotes, and quotations the writer used
to support his topic? If not, what might the writer have used?
2. Does the writer have a clear beginning, middle, and end?
3. Does the writer use a variety of sentences or are they all statements? If
not, what sentences might be improved upon by revising them to inter-
rogatory, exclamatory, or imperative sentences?
4. Does the writer use exact language or words that seem unclear? Are
there any mechanical errors that should be corrected?
writing the good essay
THE MORE YOU experience reading, drafting, and evaluating essays, the bet-
ter you are at writing them. Also, you can better understand what scorers
look for in good writing and, as a result, what good writing is all about. In
fact, you will come to appreciate the value of visual writing. Organization,
the kind you achieve using graphic organizers and 1-2-3 maps, allows writ-
ers the freedom to render visual writing into effectively-written prose: bet-
ter known as quality essays!
84 visual writing
chapter
six
Reading and
Writing Practice
Challenges
there is no better way to finish your
journey through Visual Writing than by
seeing how it works beyond the activi-
ties you have created in this book.
Chapter Six includes five sections,
which invite you to experience authen-
tic essay prompts in a variety of ways.
■ Section 1. Prompts and 1-2-3

Maps
■ Section 2. Prompts and Essay
Responses
■ Section 3. Prompts, Essay
Responses, plus their 1-2-3
Maps
reading and writing practice challenges 85

■ Section 4. NAEP 8th grade Prompts, Student Responses from the

1998 Writing Assessment Tests, plus Scorers’ Commentaries
■ Section 5. Essay Prompts
Are you up for the challenge? If you’ve gotten this far, it will be as easy as
. . . well, you know.
section 1: prompts and 1-2-3 maps
I N THIS SECTION you will read prompts that were presented to students in
grades seven through nine. You will also see the 1-2-3 maps that students
constructed based on these prompts.
Your challenge: Write essays for each of the prompts using information
provided by the 1-2-3 maps shown.
TIME YOURSELF! For each essay, give yourself no more than 25 minutes.
section 2: prompts and essay responses
T HIS SECTION PROVIDES you with a different look. You will read authen-
tic essay prompts and a variety of sample essays.
Your challenge: Analyze each prompt and essay sufficiently enough to
recreate the 1-2-3 maps from which each essay might have evolved.
By doing so you will have concrete evidence of how well each student
accomplished what all good essays must: a satisfying beginning, middle, and
end.
TIME YOURSELF! Once again, we will use the time limit that NAEP
assessment tests give students to prepare outlines as well as rough drafts: 25
minutes.
section 3: prompts, essay responses,

plus 1-2-3 maps
T HIS SECTION PROVIDES you with a complete look at authentic essay

prompts, visual maps, and essays they generated. Examine the prompts and
86 visual writing
evaluate the effectiveness of the maps and their essays. Use the guidelines and
rubric chart from Chapter Five to assist you.
Several samples include brief evaluations to help you get started. But the
more you use your own analytical style, the more productive this section will
be. Preparing multiple copies of the guidelines, rubric chart, and whatever
else you find useful, will help you get the most out of this section.
section 4: the nation’s report card prompts and

essays
national assessment of educational progress

(NAEP)
I F YOU ’ VE EVER wondered how your teacher’s essay topics and prompts dif-
fer from nationally prepared standardized essay tests, this section is for you.
You will notice that the official Scorer’s Commentary appears after each essay
presented in this section. These essays represent work that is completed in 25
minutes, and the scorers are therefore advised to consider the works as drafts
rather than final copies.
NAEP scorers use focused holistic scoring, which means they rate the overall
quality of the writing, focusing their attention on specific characteristics—
organization, development, syntax, mechanics*—of student writing that
should look very familiar to you by now. Remember that scores range from
one (unsatisfactory) to six (advanced). Whether you examine the rubric traits
as a whole or individually, good writing begins with a clear game plan—the
kind you get from visual writing using 1-2-3 maps with graphic organizers.
*NAEP FACTS, November 2000. U.S. Department of Education, p. 1.

section 5: essay prompts
T HIS SECTION PROVIDES what all good writers want and need: practice.
There is no better way to improve your writing skills than through practice.
The challenge suggested is that you try to complete your visual writing and
an essay draft within 25 minutes. Unless you are taking a real NAEP test, you
will probably have more time to work
on your draft so that it becomes final
copy quality. By timing yourself, how-
The pace is often frantic for students
ever, you force your critical thinking
rushing to organize and write essays.
skills into high gear. If you are forced
It is no surprise then that their graph-
to think quickly, you can train yourself
ic organizers and 1-2-3 maps are
to capitalize on the stress your body
often messy, since writing is often a
feels when dealing with time con-
wonderfully messy process.
straints. Your brain’s left and right
hemispheres function more produc-
tively under moderate amounts of
stress. And, as you’ll remember from
Chapter Two, left and right brain cooperation and collaboration is exactly
what you need to craft visual maps and quality essays.
section 1: prompts and 1-2-3 maps
W RITE ESSAYS FOR each of the prompts using information provided by the
1-2-3 maps completed by each student. If you are familiar with the subject,
you may add details to the maps before starting. For each essay, give yourself
no more than 25 minutes.
NOTE1—Each prompt and 1-2-3 map came from a unit entitled

“Nature’s Fury.” Besides being an interesting writing subject, these examples
were selected because the theme of nature and its impact on man is an objec-
tive in most, if not all, state social studies standards.
NOTE2—When a different font appears in a 1-2-3 map, it represents words
or phrases, usually insightful, which were added by students after reflecting on
their graphic organizers during braintalks or follow-up braintalks.
88 visual writing
descriptive
ESSAY PROMPT 1: Sometimes nature is destructive. But at other times as when

leaves, rain, or snow fall, it can be beautiful, and peaceful. Using prose or poet-
ry, describe one of nature’s wonders.
narrative
ESSAY PROMPT 2: Have you ever experienced nature’s fury? People describe
their ordeals during earthquakes, hurricanes, and storms with the word “unfor-
gettable.” Write a story, real or imagined, in which you or a character you create,
experience one form of nature’s fury.
informative
ESSAY PROMPT 3: Most of the time, man works in harmony with nature.
Sometimes that harmony is disturbed by nature’s fury, which can result in vio-
lent natural disasters. Select at least two natural disasters and explain how
nature’s fury impacts man’s relationship with nature.
ESSAY PROMPT 4: Nature’s fury comes in many different forms. Choose two
natural disasters and describe their differences and similarities.
ESSAY PROMPT 5: When man encounters nature without the interference from
its destructive side, both nature and man benefit. Choose and explain one of
these harmonious cycles.
persuasive
ESSAY PROMPT 6: The great French writer and philosopher Voltaire stated:
“Men can argue but nature acts.” Write a persuasive essay that reflects your
agreement or disagreement with this statement.

ESSAY PROMPT 1: Sometimes nature is destructive. But at other times as when
leaves, rain, or snow fall, it can be wondrous, beautiful, and peaceful. Using
prose or poetry, describe one of nature’s wonders.
90 visual writing 90
ESSAY PROMPT 2: Have you ever experienced nature’s fury? People describe
their ordeals during earthquakes, hurricanes, and storms as unforgettable.
Write a story, real or imagined, in which you or a character you create experi-
ence one form of nature’s fury.

ESSAY PROMPT 3: Most of the time, man works in harmony with nature. Sometimes
that harmony is disturbed by nature’s fury, which can result in sudden and often vio-
lent natural disasters. Select at least two natural disasters and explain how nature’s
fury impacts man’s relationship with nature.
92 visual writing
ESSAY PROMPT 4: Nature’s fury comes in many different forms. Choose two
natural disasters and describe their differences and similarities.

ESSAY PROMPT 5: When man encounters nature without the interference from
its destructive side, both nature and man benefit. Choose and explain one of
these harmonious cycles.
94 visual writing
ESSAY PROMPT 6: The great French writer and philosopher Voltaire stated:
“Men can argue but nature acts.” Write a persuasive essay that reflects your
agreement or disagreement with this statement.

Follow-up braintalk: All of nature’s fury comes
suddenly and without warning. It’s costly in so
many ways. When nature acts, it’s unstoppable,
deadly, and victorious. Use in opening and closing.
section 2: prompts and essay responses
S UFFICIENTLY ANALYZE EACH essay prompt and essay enough to recreate

the 1-2-3 maps from which each essay evolved.
NOTE: Your 1-2-3 maps will match each essay’s content, so for each essay
you must ask yourself: Does this essay have a satisfying beginning, middle, and end?
If not, add sections to the map that would have completed it, thereby
improving the map and, more importantly, the essay.
TIME YOURSELF! For each essay, spend no more than 25 minutes.
96 visual writing
ESSAY PROMPT 1: Think about a place you would rather be, whether outdoors
or indoors, quiet or noisy. Using prose or poetry, describe your chosen place.
soccer
Listen to what happens! The ball glides swiftly through the air. A
player slides across the ground to steal the speeding ball. Players run
quickly and quietly toward the goal while hearing screams of, “Go!
Go! Go!” The ball hits the tightly woven blanket of
string. A player dives feet first along the wet ground
and trips another player. The referee blows his loud,
ear-piercing whistle. A free kick is announced; the
player takes three giant steps back and smashes the
ball past the goalie into the bright orange net. The
muddy shoe slaps the multicolored ball, sending
it into the air. The ball hits the goal post and
bounces off of it like a spring. The player
throws the ball in, and it bounces along the
ground. The ball skids into the chalky white lines
and is devoured in the powdery white sediment.
The goalie’s gentle hands catch the fast moving ball.
The referee blows his whistle three times, which
signals the end of the game.

horses
Watch as they glide across the high green grass. Runner’s blood
flows through their swaying manes, like wolves running to capture
their prey. Mares, stallions, and even colts all run to the same des-
tination as one big cloud scuttles across the sky on a steamy, sum-
mery day. Once they reach their destina-
tion, it is as if there is a sudden jerk as they
all surround the fresh, blue watering hole
and start drinking. There isn’t an ounce
of weariness within
them.
98 visual writing
ESSAY PROMPT 2: Martin Luther King, Jr. is often held up as an example of a
servant-leader. Choose a person or group of people you have known and write
about a time when they proved themselves to be servant-leaders.
operation sleep sac

Look around on the streets and what do you see? Lights? Backed
up traffic? Pollution? Besides all of these terrible things you’ll see
homeless children—children who have to beg for money just so
they can live. These children are very unhappy, and need help. And
the organization called Operation Sleep Sac is just the way to help
these unhappy children.
Operation Sleep Sac is an association designed to accept dona-
tions for special people. Operation Sleep Sac gives these wonderful
donations to children in need. These donations not only make
these children very happy, but they also help the children live.
Without this remarkable organization, some children’s lives
would turn from bad to absolutely terrible. That’s what makes this
organization essential—it provides essential materials for poor and
poverty-stricken children. If not for Operation Sleep Sac, more
children would be begging, and world hunger would be increased
instead of decreased. More children would suffer and possibly even
die. That’s why we need and should support this organization—it
does so many good things for so many underprivileged children.
Have you been thinking about the kind of writing exemplified by each of
these essays?
➧ Descriptive
➧ Informative
➧ Narrative
➧ Persuasive

section 3: prompts, essay responses, plus their
1-2-3 maps
E XAMINE THE PROMPTS and evaluate the effectiveness of the visual maps
and essays. Use the guiding questions and rubric chart (Chapter Five) to assist
you.
BE CAREFUL! NOT ALL THE STUDENTS IN THIS SECTION USED VISUAL WRITING
EFFECTIVELY.
100 visual writing

ESSAY PROMPT 1: Nature’s fury comes in many shapes and sizes, often leaving
a path of destruction. How do tornadoes exemplify nature’s fury?

ESSAY 1A
tornadoes
Have you ever experienced danger? Like a dangerous thunder-
storm? Well, multiply that by ten and you have a tornado.
No one can predict or stop tornadoes. They come in the spring-
time, afternoons, or when it’s dark. They usually travel counter-
clockwise and to the North. They can either travel on or off the
ground, and sometimes on water. Tornadoes on water are called
waterspouts. Both have strong winds. A tornado’s winds can reach
from 30–200 mph!
Tornadoes can begin during a hurricane because of miniswirls,
small tornado winds. Super cells are the most dangerous and
destructive storms of all.
Doppler radar can predict the speed of the winds and warn peo-
ple to find shelter. During a dangerous storm, a storm cellar is the
best place to be. Being forewarned is the best protection against
dangerous storms and tornadoes . . . the outcome can be deadly.
102 visual writing

ESSAY 1B
nature’s fury
Tornadoes, or in other words, death and destruction, are the fastest
winds on earth. Tornadoes are the rotating funnel clouds that
extend high above clouds. Once these violent winds touch down
almost nothing can stop them. They uproot trees, overturn railroad
cars, and send automobiles flying like matchbox cars. Side effects
from tornadoes are heavy rain, hail, lightning storms, and power
outages. There have been hundreds of tornadoes reported annual-
ly since 1950, and they have killed over 10,000 people in the
United States alone since 1900. Tornadoes, cyclones, and twisters
are the most violent and unpredictable natural phenomenon the
world has ever seen.
HAVE A LOOK AT THE FOLLOWING 1-2-3 MAP FOR ESSAY 1B

■ The 1-2-3 map and outline is created using a word web.
■ www.elsolucionario.org
The map was examined carefully.
■ Now use the rubric chart to help you score the essay.

104 visual writing

ESSAY 2: 1-2-3 Map
Look closely at this 1-2-3 Map for Essay 2 because you’ll want to avoid
problems like these.
No braintalk. No 1-2-3 Map. No follow-up braintalk. Pretty dangerous.
There’s one more problem. You will notice that the outline sometimes uses
sentences. Avoid this practice! The tendency, especially when nervous, is to
transfer sentences from outline to essay, producing essays devoid of ade-
quate voice, word choice, spelling errors, and sentence fluency.

ESSAY 2
The strongest winds on earth come from tornadoes at speeds of

more then 200 miles per hour. Tornadoes affect every continent
except Antarctica. They usually last less then an hour traveling
around twenty miles at ten to twenty miles per hour. Tornadoes
destroy everything they travel over including civilization and
nature. They kill many people and animals with their powerful
force. Tornadoes are formed by warm, twisting masses, which form
a funnel that reaches downward and usually touches the ground.
Tornadoes occur mostly in the Untied States in spring and early
summer. They usually strike in the afternoon and early evening.
Protection for tornadoes is usually provided by storm cellar, base-
ment, or if you don’t have this, a level ground in a home under a
bed. Warnings for tornadoes come from the National Weather
Service. The force of a tornado is unmatched.
106 visual writing

Okay, you’re on your own! Analyze this 1-2-3 map and the essay.
Hint: Be careful!

ESSAY 3
twisters: nature’s fury

Tornadoes are massive, twisting, destructive beasts of nature, caus-
ing great destruction. Tornadoes can toss anything as if it were a
small child’s toy. They can flatten objects in their path. With hard
rains, they can flood a whole town. And like the deadly tornado of
1925 that ran through Missouri, Illinois, and Indiana with winds up
to 280 mph, they can kill hundreds of people. 689 people died in
the tornado of 1925.
These beasts of nature form when warm, humid air collides with
cold, dry air. The warm air rises and more warm air comes to
replace it. In some cases the air starts to rotate causing a tornado.
These twisting masses of air usually form in middle areas of the U.S.
known as Tornado Alley. They are most common in the late after-
noon and early evening of spring and summer.
When a tornado forms, large thunderclouds can be seen in the
sky. They are either cumulonimbus clouds or a super cell. The
cloud becomes hard and dense. Masses of clouds at the bottom
begin to twist and turn, and a tornado is formed.
108 visual writing

ESSAY PROMPT 2: Think about the rules you must follow to succeed at your
school. Explain to a new student what those rules are and why they are impor-
tant to a student’s success.
NOTE: In addition to the above prompt, you can look at the already prepared 1-2-3 map
seen below. Use it as the organizational tool. Remember: The 1-2-3 map guides your
essay’s organization, but you must attend to the five remaining categories in the rubric.

ESSAY PROMPT 2: Think about the rules you must follow to succeed at your
school. Explain to a new student what those rules are and why they are impor-
tant to a student’s success.
rules, rules, rules

Why does the average middle school classroom need rules? The
answer is simple. To keep order of course! Because without rules or
regulations, there would be chaos, and children wouldn’t be given
the chance to learn. Now let me share these rules with you.
First of all, respect and care for all individuals and their proper-
ty. That way, you’ll be treated the same way. Next, you must attend
school on time and remain seated until dismissed. If you are late
once, there is a warning for you. If you are late another time, you
will get an afternoon school detention.
Before entering the classroom, discard all food and beverage
items unless you feel like spilling grape juice on your new sweater
or shorts. Upon entering the classroom, take off your hat, especial-
ly all of you young gentlemen. Also bring appropriate materials and
supplies. The school cannot always provide them, so it is nice to
have your own. Then listen to and follow all directions that your
teacher or peers give you, so you won’t mess up on a homework
assignment or group project. You must use class time wisely. Learn
speaking and writing to bring you success. If you have a question,
raise your hand and wait for permission to speak, so as not to dis-
turb the learning environment. Last but not least, and most impor-
tantly, do your very best.
section 4: the nation’s report card

prompts and essays
R EAD THE PROMPTS, eighth grade student responses, and scorers’ com-
mentaries, all from NAEP’s writing assessment tests. The commentaries
should help you understand the language of rubrics as interpreted by very
important people: national scorekeepers!
EXTRA CHALLENGE: Review NAEP essays identified as Excellent and
Skillful and produce 1-2-3 maps for each of them.
110 visual writing

NAEP 1998 eighth grade informative writing assessment prompt*
DESIGNING A TV SHOW
A public television network is seeking ideas for a new series of shows that
would be educational for teenagers. The series will include ten one-hour
episodes and will be shown once a week. Some of the titles under consider-
ation are:
■ “Great Cities of the World”

■ “Women in History”
■ “Nature Walks”
■ “American Legends”
Choose one of these titles. Write a letter to the network president describ-
ing your ideas for a new educational series. In your letter, describe what one
episode might be like. Use specific examples of what information you would
include in the episode so the network president will be able to imagine what
the series would be like.
1. Sample “Unsatisfactory” Response
Dear President,
I would like to do a brochure, on “Great Cities of
the World” I need your opinion should I do it on New
York, Tokyo, Tiawan, Los Angelos, or should I do all
of them?
Always
Student
SCORER’S COMMENTARY
The “Unsatisfactory” rating was given to 3% of the responses to this topic. As
the scoring guide indicates, such responses were undeveloped or very poorly
written. In the “Unsatisfactory” response shown above, the student chooses one
of the series titles provided in the topic and asks what to include, without pre-
senting his or her ideas about what to show on the television series.
*Eighth graders were given a number of topics in 1998. The informative scoring guide was
used for all of the topics.

2. Sample “Insufficient” Response
Dear President
I think you should do the series on “Great City’s
of the World.” If you did the series off of that
title it would be best. You would get to learn about
all the cities instead of just one city. Because
teenagers could learn about other cities in other
countries. That’s why I think you should do the
series on “Great City’s of the World.”
The “Insufficient” rating was given to 13% of the responses to this topic.
Such responses supplied only minimal information about the student’s choice
of an educational television series. In the example shown above, the student
provides a justification for the series: “You would get to learn about all the
cities instead of just one city.” However, the student does not develop that
justification by describing the substance of the show.
3. Sample “Uneven” Response

Dear Network President,
I think you should do a show on American legends.
You can tell about real people like George Washington
or Abraham Lincoln. You might want to consider using
fictional characters such as Paul Bunyan or Johnny
Appleseed. You might want to do shorter section on
all of the less popular Presidents like Teddy
Roosevelt or Woodrow Wilson. I would put in how
George Washington helped win the Revolutionary War
or how he made a good President You could also tell
how John F. Kennedy was assasianated or how Abraham
Lincon helped in the Cival War.
The “Uneven” rating was given to 40% of the responses to this topic. In
many of these responses, students mentioned a few specific elements to be
presented on the television series, but listed rather than developed them. In
the “Uneven” paper shown above, the student enumerates various
112 visual writing

“American Legends” to be presented, along with an identifying detail or two

about George Washington, John F. Kennedy, and Abraham Lincoln, for
example: “You could also tell how John F. Kennedy was assasianated or how
Abraham Lincon helped in the Cival War.” The student, however, does not
develop points, and his or her command of the mechanics of writing is
uneven.
4. Sample “Sufficient” Response

Dear Mr. President, I think you should have a show
about “Women in history.” A lot of people want to
know about women and what they’ve done to help our
country. There have been many women heroes, and they
should be recognized. You could do the show like
Wishbone, except all the shows be about women in his-
tory instead of characters from a book. An idea for
a show is Anne Frank. You could go to the place where
they hid for so long and do the show right there.
Everyone will get the chance to see how Anne lived.
A lot of people haven’t heard or seen her story.
Well, it’s time they do! So, please take into con-
sideration my ideas and respond when you make your
decision.
Students at the upper score levels (“Sufficient” or better) provided organized
responses with illustrative details. Some students provided descriptions of an
entire episode, down to the dialogue and camera angles. The “Sufficient” rat-
ing was given to 34% of the responses to this topic. Such responses were
organized and provided some details. In the response shown above, the stu-
dent’s writing is clear, accurate, and organized.
5. Sample “Skillful” Response

Dear Network President,
I think that I have a new show for your network.
It’s called Great Cities of the World. The show is
about four teenagers, around the ages of fourteen to
seventeen who travel around the world. In each show

they travel to two cities. When they arrive in the
city they will first talk about the city’s history
and what it is like now in the present. They talk
about some of the tradions of the city. For example
if the students went to Paris, France, they would
talk about France’s past and some of the things they
do in there daily lives. They could talk about the
people, what they look like and their styles. To keep
the show interesting you can show things such as we
learn how to say a word from their language or meet
many different people from their city. Also to keep
the show interesting they can have problems.
The “Skillful” rating was given to 8% of the responses to this topic. In such
responses, students used detail and elaboration in parts of the response, with
transitions to connect ideas. In the response shown above, the student spec-
ifies who will be the narrators of the show and the order in which informa-
tion will be presented: “The show is about four teenagers, around the ages
of fourteen to seventeen who travel around the world. In each show they
travel to two cities. When they arrive in the city they will first talk about the
city’s history and what it is like now in the present.” The student also uses the
example of Paris as the subject for one show. The student uses complex sen-
tences and transitions (such as “When they arrive in the city . . . ”, “For
example . . . .”) to tie points together and lead the reader through the essay.
6. Sample “Excellent” Response

Dear Network president,
Hello! I am a young teenager and I think that
teenagers these days would like to see something edu-
cational. I think a good idea for a TV show would be
“Great Cities of the World.” ¶For example, one
episode could be about Chicago and tell famous places
you could visit. One place could be the Sears Tower
in which a camera could show people going up in an
elevator and then seeing the view of downtown
Chicago. ¶Another place the TV show could go to is
114 visual writing

the Shed Aquarium. In it are many types of ocean life
that interesting to see up close. They could also go
to the art museum and look at famous paintings. ¶Just
for fun, the show could go to F.A.O. Schwartz, a
large toy store with many toys you can play with. As
a matter of fact, you could just go shopping peri-
od. Chicago is known for its many stores. ¶Then you
could take a trip to a restaurant such as Ed
Debivic’s or Planet Hollywood, just to spice up the
show a bit. ¶Now that I’ve explained where to go in
Chicago, I’ll tell you a little more about the set-
up of the show. I think that you should have a host
who is young, around fiftheen, energetic, and a
spunky personality. He or she could act as the tour
guide and show the viewers around each city. She
could also explain the city’s trademark’s, such as
the Sears Tower. I think that if you use a young per-
son, it would attract young viewers.
¶ And last of all, I think the camera should look at
the city as if it was viewer’s eyes. For example,
when you look around, you see things as you would
see them, as if you were really there in Chicago,
sight-seeing.
¶ Well, I hope you enjoy my input and put it into
consideration. I’ll be looking forward to seeing a
new TV show about “Great Cities of the World.”
The “Excellent” rating was given to 2% of the responses to this topic, in
which students used detail and development across the response. The
“Excellent” response shown above describes an entire episode of a television
series in detail. The student includes such details as how the camera would
move: “One place could be the Sears Tower in which a camera could show
people going up in an elevator and then seeing the view of downtown
Chicago.” He or she describes a wide variety of sights in Chicago with sug-
gestions for how to present them. Points such as “I think the camera should
look at the city as if it was the viewer’s eyes” enable the reader to visualize

the show. This student shows good control of language; occasional minor
errors do not interfere with meaning. (Note: The “¶” symbols in the sample
are paragraph signs and reflect symbols placed in the text by the student.)
NAEP 1998 eighth grade narrative writing assessment
PROMPT
Imagine this situation!
A noise outside awakens you one night. You look out the window and see
a spaceship. The door of the spaceship opens, and out walks a space creature.
What does the creature look like? What do you do?
Write a story about what happens next.
2. Sample “Insufficient” Response

Well the the creature is big and grean with a big
head and big huge eyes in the front and back of this
heard he/she has short arms And has big long legs
with no toes then he shot laser beams into my eyes
I guess so he could read my mind and that is why he
did that Then I invited him into my house so we could
play games.
This “Insufficient” response has some vivid description of the creature, with
“big huge eyes in the front and back of his head.” It also includes some dra-
matic action: “he shot laser beams into my eyes I guess so he could read my
mind.” The entire lack of punctuation makes it hard to know where sentences
begin and end, and so make the story somewhat hard to read throughout. The
vocabulary is also rather simple.

I was ounce awakened by a loud noise outside I got
out of the bed grabbed a flashlight went to the win-
dow lifted the blindes There was a spaceship in my
front yard! I didn’t know what to do! Then all of
sudden the door of the spaceship’s opened up and out
116 visual writing

walked a little space creature. He had big eyes, an
oval head, and two holes for nostrils. He had a small
which was used for eating. He look kind of freind-
ly. He go of the spaceship walked my window, Then he
held up two fingers and I knew he was peaceful. Then
he took a picture of me. I went to get my camera,
but by the time I got back he was gone, So I just
went back to sleep.
This “Uneven” response combines some characterization of the space visitor
(“He had big eyes, an oval head, and two holes for nostrils”) with some very
general, imprecise development. The reader is introduced to the “little space
creature,” but this creature leaves before the tale unfolds much further.
Statements such as “He looked kind of friendly” are not followed up in a way
that would add to the story’s development. Sentence boundaries are uneven-
ly observed; correct sentences such as “I didn’t know what to do!” are inter-
spersed with sentences such as “I got out of the bed grabbed a flashlight went
to the window lifted the blinds” that have errors in both punctuation and
syntax. Overall, the level of sentence control and development make this an
“uneven” response to the topic.

The space ship it was about as big as a school. When
the door opened an alien stepped out. He had on egg
shaped head with black misty eyes, white short body
with long arms and three long fingers. He took his
helmet off and started talking in some different lan-
guage. Then he pressed a button and started speaking
in english. He said, Greetings earthling, my name is
Recabae what is Your Name? My name is Frank, nice to
meet you. He asked me if I wanted to go on a jour-
ney with him. I said sure. We got in his space craft
and shot up through the clouds at 2,000 knots pluse.
He asked what I would like to do. I said lets go
exploring other Galaxies. We went where no man has
gon before. We went to the Condego galaxie. It ha

seven suns 12 moons and 54 planets in it’s system.
We started decending and that’s when he said it’s
time to go home. He dropped me off and then all of
a sudden I awoke from my great dream.
This “Sufficient” response has a clear beginning, middle, and end, and does
apply the general conventions of storytelling. Though the conventions of
dialogue are not followed precisely, this writer attempts to add speaking parts
to the story to heighten interest. Some nice detail (“We went to the
Condegua galaxie. It ha seven suns 12 moons and 54 planets in its system.”)
is hampered by subtle yet pervasive errors in punctuation and rather thin
development of plot. The sentences, for the most part, are simple and unvar-
ied. This response is a good example of a “Sufficient” paper that, though
hampered by lack of development and some writing flaws, still tells a story
that is clear and relatively detailed.

It is 3:30 in the morning and I am sudden awoke by
a spaceship that just landed in my backyard. I am
very scared, nervous, and excited. The door on the
spaceship opens and a dark cloud of smoke pours out
of the ship along with a little green space crea-
ture. I am not sure what to do, I don’t want to
screem and wake up everyone in the house and scare
off the creature that just landed in my backyard. I
sit down on my bed for a minute and think what to do
and then I look out my window again. The creature is
now going through the garbage cans; I wonder maybe
he is hungry:
I run down stairs and make a peanut-butter and jelly
sandwhich and go outside. At first the creature is
startled by my sudden presence, but then he sees what
I have in my hand. He comes running towards my hand,
but then I realize he wants the sandwhich. I give it
to him and he throws it about twenty feet in the air,
and catches it in his mouth and swallows.
118 visual writing

The little creature looks at me and smiles, he then

says something in some type of foreign language, gets
in his ship circles the house and disappears. I never
saw the creature again, but some times, really late
at night, I could swear I hear someone making a sand-
which in the kitchen!
In this “Skillful” response, the writer wittily portrays the space creature,
whose primary interest seems to be in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
There are some errors such as comma splices, and the response does not pro-
vide details about the space creature or about the writer’s own reactions as
consistently or fully as the “Excellent” responses.

Crash! A noise awakened my midnight slumber. I looked
about frantically, wondering where the noise had
come from. Another sound like gas escaping from a
soda can. I leap out of the bed and dash to the win-
dow. Slowly I part the curtains to what I see almost
makes me scream.
Standing about 20 ft. from my window is an alien
bathed in purple-blue light. It reminded me of an X-
Files alien. At first glance I noticed its prominent
black eyes, large, flat nose, well-proportioned
lips, high cheekbones, and small, slightly protuding
ears. It was also bald. When I looked at it more
thoroughly other details come to mind. It looked to
be about 5’7” with greenish-white skin, and a strong
and limber body. I can only guess as to what its real
body was like under it’s peach colored space suit.
Slowly it raised its hand and waved to me. I won-
dered if I should wave back or not and decided to,
even though I was scared enough to turn and run
screaming down the hallway, but I waved instead.
As I stood there, waving like a fool I began to
think really weird things. Things like “Help me save

your planet” and “You must help me.” On some sub-
conscious level I realized it was communicating
telepathically. I tried as hard as I could to reply
to but found I could.
Through our telepathic communication I found out I
was supposed to help him save Earth. I noticed he
was now suited in full Armani attire.
I deliberated with myself & decided to help it.
Now as I look back it seems so weird to me. But then
I remember all the fun we had and I reflect upon how
we saved Earth. It was one of the best times of my
life.
This “Excellent” response has a dramatic opening: “Crash! A noise awakened
my midnight slumber.” The student sustains dramatic action throughout the
story, and provides precise detail that makes it easy to visualize the space crea-
ture: “Standing about 20 ft. from my window is an alien bathed in purple-
blue light.” The student describes his or her own reaction to heighten sus-
pense: “ . . . I was scared enough to turn and run screaming down the hall-
way, but I waved instead.” Although the action in the second part of the story
is somewhat telescoped, the response is complete and well developed overall.
NAEP 1998 eighth grade persuasive writing assessment
PROMPT
Many people think that students are not learning enough in school. They
want to shorten most school vacations and make students spend more of the
year in school. Other people think that lengthening the school year and
shortening vacations is a bad idea because students use their vacations to learn
important things outside of school.
What is your opinion?
Write a letter to your school board either in favor of or against lengthen-
ing the school year. Give specific reasons to support your opinion that will
convince the school board to agree with you.
120 visual writing

Dear School board,
My name is “John Doe” and I think that you should
let us keep our vacation as they are. We are doing
fine as we are. If you think we’re not doing as we
are supposed to do then that’s your opinion. Besides
even if not if you don’t do good your vacation is
shortened any way because you will have to go to sum-
mer school and make your grades up. Even if you don’t
have to go you can go any way.and you say not all
people go to summer school well that’s true but most-
ly who ever doesn’t already has good grades or they
don’t care about it so lengthing it will still be
even worse because that gives them more time to make
mistakes and lower their grade. In my opinion I would
like to have school every other day so that when you
go to school one day you might do your homework that
night but don’t finish it the next day if you don’t
have school you can finish it and then go play even
longer so you will get your A and your play. Also if
you want to get us smarter you could just teach us
all this stuff at an early age and as we begin to
grow we will know high school stuff in the 4th or
5th grade
This “Uneven” response presents many reasons for preserving vacations “as
they are.” The student makes some good points, although he or she does not
always express them clearly. He or she notes that, for unmotivated students,
“lengthing it will still be even worse because that gives them more time to
make mistakes . . . ” and points out that it might be more effective to intro-
duce high-school level material in earlier grades. However, the essay is
rather rambling, as the student has not structured his or her ideas into a clear
or ordered format.


I am a student at [school name]. I belive that the
idea for a longer school year and a shorter summer
vacation is a wonderful suggestion.
Why you may ask? I feel this way because I person-
ally want to learn more. Like for instance China has
a program that their students go to school for six-
weeks. Then they are out for two weeks. They do this
all through out the year. So it’s like they never
get a three month break.
Most students, when they get out of school for the
summer they forget what they learned the following
year. So then their teachers have to go over what
they learned.
If we had a shorter summer then we probably would
not forget what we learned. And I also feel that when
students get out for summer vacation, they do not use
their time for thinking about school. All that their
interested in is having fun.
In this “Sufficient” response, the student provides a clear position in favor of
a longer school year. The student cites several examples to support that posi-
tion, such as the lack of long vacation breaks in China, but the examples are
not linked to each other. The control of language is not as strong as in the
“Skillful” and “Excellent” responses: “Most students, when they get out of
school for the summer they forget what they learned the following year.”
The student’s control of sentence boundaries and paragraph structure, as well
as the generally appropriate use of language, make the paper clear overall.

Dear School Board,
I think that we should stay in shc school for a
longer part of the year. I believe this would help
us to remember more of what we learned the year
before and we would have more time to have classes
that begin to teach a trade (for example) in younger
years.
122 visual writing

Even though I treasure having time off during the
summer I don’t think that I accomplish anything or
need that time. It puts me out of the habit of study-
ing and I lose a lot of knowledge.
If we did stay in school year round we would have
some of that extra time to spend on learning a trade
as an exploratory. This would give us experience and
an idea of some things we might enjoy doing as a
proffession later on in life.
These are my thoughts on the year round schooling and
many of my peers would argue with it and complain if
the year round school idea was used but I feel it
would be best.
This “Skillful” response develops a clear position for lengthening the school
year. This response shows sound development and (with minor exceptions)
control over grammar and syntax. The logic and syntactic variety of this
response, however, are not as good as in the “Excellent” responses. The
writer explains what he or she might accomplish in an extended school year,
such as learning a trade. The writer’s arguments, however, are slightly less
developed and slightly less eloquent than those of the “Excellent” responses.

To Whom it May Concern,
I’ve heard about the debate of whether or not to
lengthen the school year. I decided to voice my opin-
ion. I believe that the school year should not be
lengthened. Kids are stressed out enough with home-
work and school without adding more. Some might say
that kids aren’t learning enough, and since the
future of the nation rests on their shoulders they
need to go to school longer and learn more. I say
those who are adults now went to school the same
amount, if not shorter, of time that we do and they
haven’t completely ruined the country.

To make the country better you don’t just need to
know math, English, and history; you need to know
social skills like getting along with others. You
learn social skills like getting along with others.
You learn social skills at school but you can learn
them just as easily while on vacation. If you go to
another country for vacation you learn to accept and
respect other cultures. This can help extinguish
prejudices.
If you add more schoolwork and homework kids will
get more stressed out. When you’re stressed out you
aren’t as agreeable and sometimes just give up try-
ing and don’t care a difference in the world.
I once heard someone say that you are only a kid
for a short time. When you’re an adult you have
enough stress agre lotof and hardly any time. for
fun, so why put stress on kids and make them lose
their time for fun. Why turn them into adults before
their time?
I completely agree with the person who said this.
Let kids have fun and not be stuck in a hot school
listening to a lecture, or at home doing homework
when they used to be swimming or hanging out with
their friends.
Thank you for considering my letter.
This student sustains an argument around the idea that lengthening the
school year will subject students to additional stress and will result in their
losing some opportunities: “You learn social skills at school but you can learn
them just as easily while on vacation. If you go to another country for vaca-
tion you learn to accept and respect other cultures.” The student provides a
clear, connected series of reasons to argue persuasively against lengthening
the school year. While there are occasional spelling errors, overall the stu-
dent is adept in varying sentence length and structure, providing evidence to
back up his or her point of view. This response was rated “Excellent.”
124 visual writing

section 5: essay prompts
R EAD THROUGH THE variety of prompts that follow. Write at least one essay
for each kind of writing, or write essays for the prompts you find particular-
ly challenging.
Practice writing, especially visual writing. Remember: Writing great

essays is as easy as 1-2-3!
descriptive essay prompts
■ Just as artists use brushes to paint pictures, writers use words. Choose
something you value—a pet, a vacation spot, an object, etc. Using vivid
sensory details, describe it for a friend who has never seen it.
■ Describe a place where people go to have a good time. Using prose or
poetry, describe the place so clearly that someone who has never been
there understands what it is like.
Think of a teacher who you will remember for a long, long time. Using
prose or poetry, describe that teacher so clearly that your reader will
know just what makes him or her so hard to forget.
■ It is often said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Think of a scene
from nature that fits the quote perfectly, and describe that scene for
someone who might never have seen it.
narrative essay prompts
■ Young children spend a lot of time waiting for special events. Write a
story to your parents describing an event you could hardly wait to begin
or end.
■ Suppose you woke up one morning to find that there was no electricity.
Write a story for future generations of what life is like with this sudden
change.

■ It is thirty years from now. Your name has just been called, and you are
about to receive an award. Write a story to your future children describ-
ing your accomplishment.
■ “Failure is often a better teacher than success.” As someone who has
experienced both, write a letter to a younger student either agreeing or
disagreeing with this statement.
■ You sit down at the lunch table with three interesting friends who have
a running bet concerning the person with the most embarrassing
moment. You drop your backpack, stand up and declare yourself the
winner. Write the narrative that you told your friends that day to win
the contest.
■ Write about a moment in your life when choosing to be honest was a
difficult choice. Describe the dilemma and how you made your decision
to do the right thing.
■ Imagine that the time is late at night. You or a character in your story
is at home or in a familiar place when the telephone rings. Create a
story that includes this scene.
■ Imagine that you are caring for younger children for an evening. Make
up a story to tell them to entertain them. Create a new story rather than
using one that you have heard before.
■ Sometimes things turn out in a way you do not think will happen. Tell
about a time or event that turned out differently than you expected.
■ Think about a time when you, another person, or some situation chal-
lenged you in some way. Tell what happened.
informative essay prompts
■ Think of the most valuable thing you own that was not purchased at a
store. Write to a friend explaining why the item is so important to you
and how your life would be changed without this item.
■ Imagine you have been asked during middle school registration at your
elementary school to write an entertaining speech entitled, “How to
Survive a Day in the Life of a Middle School Student.” What would you
say?
■ Your class has a substitute teacher, and you have been chosen to be the
substitute’s “Teacher Aide” for the day. Your first job is to clearly explain
126 visual writing

the daily routine and assignments for the class as well as behavioral
expectations.
■ Inventions are all around us. Choose one invention and report to your
teacher explaining the positive and or negative impact of this invention
on teenagers.
■ You have been asked to write an introductory essay for the upcoming
freshman survival guide advising incoming ninth grade students in areas
of school and social life.
■ Choose a person in your life whom you admire. Write a story about
that person, explaining why you admire them.
■ You have been asked to choose one item that will show what life is like
in our present day society. The item will be placed in a time capsule to
be opened in two hundred years. Explain what item you choose and
why.
■ Children have a special position in their family. Explain the advantages
and disadvantages of the position you hold in your family—youngest
child, only child, middle child, oldest child, etc.
■ Choose a character from a story or book you have read this year.
Describe one of his or her qualities and use evidence from the story to
support the quality you choose.
How does city life differ from rural? Use your experience as well as
insights gained in class to write your essay.
persuasive essay prompts
■ Chewing gum in school is against the rules. Write a letter to your prin-
cipal explaining why this rule should be eliminated.
■ To ensure the safety of park users, city officials are considering a bill that
would ban skateboarding and in-line skating in public parks areas not
designated for such use. Write a letter to your city councilman stating
whether you agree or disagree with this proposal.
■ Write an essay that demonstrates whether you agree or disagree with the
following statement:
The use of affirmative action as a means of setting quotas for employment,
admission to educational institutions, and the awarding of government contracts is
in and of itself discriminatory and should therefore be revoked as a public program.

■ In order to help maintain discipline and avoid “fashion competition,”

your school administrators intend to revise your school’s dress code to
include school uniforms as part of the dress code. Write a letter to your
school principal, persuading him against his plan.
■ Write an essay that clearly presents your response to the following: The
death penalty is both “cruel” and “unusual” and a violation of the eighth
amendment to the Constitution of the United States.
■ The management of your favorite shopping mall plans to institute a pol-
icy whereby juveniles under the age of sixteen (16) years of age must be
accompanied by a parent, guardian, or responsible adult after the hour
of six P.M. They have requested public reaction to their plan. Write a let-
ter telling the mall’s management whether you agree or disagree.
■ Your parents have decided you may only watch one hour of TV on
school nights. In a well-organized composition decide whether or not
you agree with their decision and why. Persuade your parents as to how
long you feel you should be allowed to watch TV. Be sure to state and
support at least two premises (reasons) for your opinion.
■ Your parents promised you that you could have a friend spend the night
on the weekend. Now they have changed their minds because they must
leave town, and they do not want to leave you unsupervised. Persuade
them to change their minds again and let your friend stay the night.
■ The recent legislature passed a law that banned all tobacco products
from school buildings and grounds. Take a stand about this new law and
try to persuade your reader to see the situation from your point of view.
■ Pretend that a friend of yours has decided not to eat milk, cheese, or
vegetables of any kind. Write an essay to your friend explaining the
dietary harm of her plan. Use good reasons to convince your friend.
■ You will be dissecting frogs in your science class. Some of your friends are
opposed, considering it cruelty to animals. Are you for or against them?
Take a stand. Write a letter for or against the planned frog dissection.
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ONE OF our brain’s prime directives,

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