JOE PRIVATE EYE

By
Zane Buckley

Period:1
FADE IN:

INT. DETECTIVES OFFICE - NIGHT

The office is a bit empty and there is a desk in the

middle. There is a window, pitch black with only the
moonlight peaking in. Joe is sitting at his desk looking at
some newspapers and examining them. His eyes darted across
the pages. Joe is wearing civilian clothes, almost looking
relaxed. He is a middle aged man, has short black hair and
brown eyes. His demeanor is that of a humorous and care
free nature.

JOE(VO)
It was 7:15 on a Friday night late
Autumn 1924. I was working
downtown, mostly small jobs, and
this time I was onto something
real big. It was all laid out nice
and pretty in front of me. Among
all of the reports of odd mafia
activity preparing for some sort
of job. I reckoned it was a big
one. I was getting ready to hit
the hay, until. She came in. She
even wore the sweaters, the ones
that used to drive me crazy.

A girl bursts into his office, Darla. She does so in a

manner of worry, like she was needing immediate attention.
She is very broad shouldered and has facial hair. She is
wearing glasses and a shocked expression is painted across
her face. She looks to be very young.

DARLA(IN DISTRESS)
Oh Joe, Joe!! Oh great heavens!!

JOE
Cool it sissy, what’s your
problem?

DARLA
Oh it's terrible Joe, my husband… he, he-
He went missing!!

JOE(INTERRUPTING)
-And why should I care? I have
some serious work on my hands and
bigger problems than some missing
factory worker…

1
 DARLA
My husband is the Mayor!! He has
been doing some shady stuff with
the Mafia recently! I bet it was
Big Manny!!

JOE
Woah, woah! Let's not throw around
accusations just yet, I will
investigate this thoroughly ma’am.
Thank you for informing me.

This is followed by an awkward silence and stare. They both

seem to want to exit the room and can feel the tension.

DARLA
So uhh what are you planning on
doing tonight?

JOE
Cut to the chase when did you last
see him.

DARLA
I last spoke to him before he was
making a speech at the town club.
Please can you find him Joe?

JOE
I’ll do my job.

FADE OUT:

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE OF OFFICE - NIGHT

The hallway outside of the office is kind of narrow. There

is a door on the wall. The door is made of brown wood and
has a heavily tinted window.

JOE(VO)
Sometimes when you follow a case,
it follows you back. I always know
that I can protect the public, but
who will protect me… FROM MYSELF!!

He then dramatically throws himself against a wall in

anger. Placing his hands on the wall and dragging them
across the wall.

CUT TO:
2
EXT. THE CLUB ENTRANCE - NIGHT

Joe was in the club and is now outside of the entrance

questioning a girl. He went in and picked her out seemingly
at random, but conveniently she happened to know a thing or
two about the case. The girl seems very confused, but also
is happy to be involved in something. She is the type to be
excited by adventure. She is wearing general clubbing
attire. She looks very young. Her name is Elenor

JOE(THREATENING)
So, what do you know? Spill it
princess! Where is the mayor and
why is he missing?

ELENORE
Well I--

JOE(INTERRUPTING)
Oh yeah also who is behind it.

An awkward silence is exchanged between them, again the

tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. Joe tends
to do this thing a lot, as despite his confidence, he is an
awkward person.

ELENOR
As I was--

JOE(INTERRUPTING)
Also, do you know any good smoke
shops around here?

Another Awkward silence is exchanged. They are staring at

each other, and if looks could kill, Joe would be dead.

ELENOR:
If you are done interrupting I
will be glad to give my testimony.

JOE
Let me tell you again. You should
feel honored to be even within my
presence, I’ll have you know I
graduated top of my class in the--

Joe sees someone moving into the alleyway out of the corner
of his eye and runs off to follow him. The man is wearing
nearly all black, and seems suspicious. Elenor follows him.
They dart out of frame into the alleyway.

3
 CUT TO:

EXT. ALLEYWAY - NIGHT

Joe is chasing the suspect as Elenor is following him. They

are running down an alleyway that seems so long it could go
on forever. It is wet and damp. There is a smell coming
from a semi-open dumpster.

JOE(CHASING THE SUSPECT)

Get back here!!

Joe trips and falls, and the suspect drops some

evidence.Joe notices this and begins examining it. Joe, now
kneeling, starts to monologue, with Elenor beside him. The
evidence appears to be a stack of cards and a green poker
chip.

JOE(VO)
When they said this job gets
easier, it was just another lie.

ELENOR
What.

JOE(VO)
Forensics found Big Manny’s
fingerprints all over the
evidence. In a perfect world,
there would be no crime… But I
guess, this isn’t that kind of
story.

ELENOR
Uhhh what are you saying?
JOE
What do you mean?

ELENOR
All that stuff about the job, the
evidence and crime. Who are you
talking to?

JOE
No one. Shut up.

4
 ELENOR(SPEAKING TO HERSELF)
Seriously, I gotta ditch this
freakshow.

JOE
What was that??

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

INT. JOE’S CAR - NIGHT

Joe sees something through the window of the car. He starts

curiously staring and confirming something to himself. The
setting is dark and cold. He is near some boxes bigger than
him stacked up against a wall.

JOE(VO)
I took the brakes off my car. Men
like me never really knew how to
stop… I let the road decide where
I go.

Joe reassures something to himself. Almost working up the

courage to do something.

JOE
This must be the place…

Joe exits his car.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT

Joe is questioning Elenor. Very needlessly violent. He is

trying to do good cop bad cop, but it comes off as
hilarious because of how non-threatening he is. There was a
table in between them, and for some reason Elenor was
handcuffed to the table. There were no windows in the room,
only a solitary door. The room seemed empty and lonely
despite the people in it.

JOE
TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!!

Joe slams on the table demanding to know. His face

flustered. His voice seeming to shake the whole room before
being followed by a quiet silence.

5
 ELENOR
I was gonna tell you whether you
yelled at me or not!

JOE
Well… I mean guys like me never
know when to stop…

Joe looks profoundly off into the distance somewhere.

Elenor doesn’t know where as the room has no windows. He
then continues his spiel.

ELENOR
Listen I’ll give it to ya
straight. I wanna get out of here
as far away from you, but I also
happen to like the mayor. So if
you wouldn’t mind not being such a
child.

JOE
Oh, but work is just as important
as play.

ELENOR
How did you get hired for this?

JOE
They had an opening, and like I
said I graduated top of my class
in first grade.

Elenor gives a blank stare in disbelief. She is blinking

rapidly and looking at Joe like he is an escapee from a
psych ward.

ELENOR
Are you real…??

JOE
Quite.

ELENOR
Okay whatever.

CUT TO:

6
EXT. THE DOCKS - NIGHT

It cuts to where Joe originally was in the last shot, by

the boxes next to the wall. There is a little opening where
he can see a little bit of a port. There are docks and one
ship nearby.

ELENOR(VO)
The Mafia Base is as you know near
the docks. Go there, from what I
heard from my inside spy. They are
planning to ransom the mayor;
However, the word ‘round the
grapevine is they hired amateurs
to do it. I’m pretty certain they
just have him locked in a closet
somewhere.

INT. MAFIA ROOM - NIGHT

Joe walks in to 2 others playing poker with the Mayor and

Big Manny. They are all very happy and clearly enjoying
themselve, despite this Joe decides to interject. They all
stop to stare at each other, then look back at him. The
room looks very blank and expressionless, only a
refrigerator and a microwave stacked on it are in there.
Besides the table in the middle of the room.

JOE
Mr. Mayor, get down!!! That’s the
crime syndicate leader that
captured you!! He could drug you
any second now!!

Everyone looks at him confused. Big Manny gives him a nasty

look followed by a sinister smile. Big Manny, as his name
suggests, is very intimidating. He seems to be a middle
aged man. He is accompanied by two of his goons who
seemingly look like they could be twins, they are wearing
the same outfit. The mayor looks like a middle aged man
too. He seems to only wear relaxed clothing.

BIG MANNY
You seem to be mistaken, I never
kidnapped him. He came over by his
free will. I would let you go, but
since you made such an impression
and seek to soil my good
reputation.
7
Big Manny snaps his fingers and looks at one of his men, a
dastardly look on his face. His men put a cloth over Joe’s
mouth.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

INT. DETECTIVE’S OFFICE - NIGHT

JOE(VO)
And that is the story that brings
me here. The Mafia were never
incriminated, and the crime didn’t
even need me to intervene. That is
a good thing as they do not want
to incur my wrath, less i bring
forth from the very pits of the
underworld--

Darla enters. She is very calm and collected. She seems a

little guilty, or put off by something.

DARLA
Oh hey Joe how are you doing?

JOE
Darla? I found your husband.

DARLA
My…husband?

JOE
Yes, although I fared against
mighty trials, I pressed on with
courage to release him from the
clutches of--

DARLA
I don’t have a husband.

JOE
What? But a week ago you said--

DARLA
Ohhhh, a week ago I had a horrible
pain in my arm and got prescribed
some pretty hefty painkillers from
my doctor. I’m sorry if I caused
you any trouble.

8
 JOE(FLABBERGASTED)
I uhh don’t hold it against you.

While slowly fading to black.

JOE(VO)
“Now that was the story all about how my life got twisted
and turned upside down”
Will Smith said that. Sure it may have been a script but I
still live by this statement to this day

FADE TO BLACK