chirine.nouali@gmail.

com 12 Sep 2024

[email protected] 12 Sep 2024

Foreword

If you want to date well, you MUST also learn how to text well, by understanding how men
operate and having your texting boundaries in place.

To start with, as discussed in my second book: The Insanely Thorough Guide to Beating the
Online Dating Algorithm, one of the most common issues that women face with dating
nowadays is that a lot of time was wasted on texting that does not convert into a real date.

Men would literally text you for months with ZERO intention to ask you out on a real date. AKA
wasting your time, just because they are bored.

So how do you deal with that?

Shocking answer: STOP TEXTING!

In life, whenever we encounter a situation that doesn’t serve us - the best thing we can do is to
disengage.

Knowing this, you should feel empowered because we can’t change people, but we are 100% in
control of our own behaviours, which means we are actually in FULL control of our
reactions to even the trickiest situations, at all times.

I am excited because you are going to get a ton of value from this book.

Final thing before we get to the fun bit, I want to be transparent with you: there are always
exceptions to every single rule.

If you’ve done statistics in school, you’d have heard about standard deviations:

In layman’s terms, it just simply means that there are always outliners (or what we call unicorns).

The majority of the population (95.6% to be exact) falls inside the bell shape (aka the norm);
while around 4.4% of people will be living in a different reality: they are the exceptions.

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Source: https://images.app.goo.gl/XvvF2XUc3Nkm35A2A

Example:
It is a fact that most men would drag on a relationship and waste a girl’s time for years or even
decades without marrying her because she’s not his dream girl, he needed someone there while
he works on his personal goal; once he got to where he wanted to be in life, he will ditch her,
upgrade his house, his car, and get a new girlfriend.

Are there exceptions?

Absolutely!

Statistically in 4 out of 100 cases like this, the man will stick around and provide for the girl that’s
stuck with them through thick and thin.

What about the other 96 girls?

Oh, they’ve wasted 5, 10 years going 50/50 with the guy being his free live-in maid and then they
got dumped in their 30s.

So scary, but this is the reality.

Now, I am not a feminist or am I a men hater - I adore men.

I think men are great - they are very helpful and protective.

But only to the girls that know exactly how to handle them.

What I teach is going to apply to 95.6% of people and situations, so if you follow my rules - your
love life is guaranteed to be a smooth sailing.

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Could you be the exception?

Yes there is a chance! But it’s like before you board onto a plane, the flight attendant told you that
there’s only a 4.4% chance that this plane is going to survive, would you get onboard?

No, you absolutely will NOT.

Because you are a smart woman, and you understand that you only have one life, and you don’t
want to play against the odds to waste your precious time.

Well, so let’s play smart by making sure we have the perfect strategy in place when dealing with
men.

Now, let the fun begin!

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Table of Contents

Part 1 Texting during early stages of dating 6

Part 2 Texting when things are progressing well 9

Part 3 Real life conversation examples that you can apply right the way 14

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Part One
Texting during early stages of dating

Rule #1 - Texting at an early stage of dating (within the first 4-6 weeks) should be about logistics
of dates ONLY. Nothing else.

Men are born to be hunters, they like to chase, and they are intrigued by novelty.

If you have extensive text exchanges with a man between dates, and that he knows about
everything that’s happening in your life on a daily basis, tell me, what’s the fun? Where’s the
mystery?

Note: if a man on a dating app asked for your WhatsApp or phone number before you two had
arranged a date (p.s. The definition of a date = time + venue, if you don’t have a time, date and
location, you DO NOT have a date), he’s looking for a penpal.

So what do you reply?

Remember I’ve mentioned in my first book: How to Talk to Men, what do men respond to?

“Men respond best to no response.”

So you should give no response - ignore him.

He will either just leave it as it is because honestly the only reason why he’s texting you is because
he’s bored at work.

OR

He will double text and follow up to ask if you would like to go on a date with him if he’s really
into you.

Men are simple, not stupid, they get it when you don’t reply.

Also note: men that ask for your social media (e.g. instagram or snapchat or whatever) so you can
get off the app to chat because “it’s easier” (or insert whatever excuses)

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He’s literally telling you to make his life “easier” for him.

And it’s not your job to make things easy for him, because men don’t value things that come
easy! (I don’t make the rules, but I always tell the truth!)

So what do you do when men ask for your social media on dating apps?

You don’t give it to him.

How do you explain yourself, you ask?

Scroll back up to the previous page to re-read where I just asked you “what do men respond to?”

When a man texts you on a social media platform, you become a form of entertainment.

He’s not just texting you, he’s also scrolling through other stuff, and other women’s profiles.

You are not his free entertainment.

Don’t be his clown.

And I am sure you have experienced this, most of the time you just end up texting loads on
social media and those texts…never convert to an actual date.

That’s hours of your precious time wasted.

One more point, men of quality are hardly on social media (unless they run an online business)
because they don’t have time, and they are not interested in other people’s lives because they are
living a great life themselves.

Rule #2 - Men that text you often throughout the day = GIANT RED FLAG

Well, tell me, a man that’s got a fulfilling career, or a business to run - would he have time to text
you and chit chat all day long?

Or would his diary be filled with tons of meetings and deadlines arranged by his PA?

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Men that text you often are two things, he’s either:

A narcissist because that’s how they lovebomb you: by giving you plenty of affection and
attention to create a false sense of emotional connection.

Before you realise what’s going on, you are already attached to him, and that’s exactly when he
starts to pull back…and then you chase, and then that’s the beginning of a sob story…

Or he’s stuck at a job that he hates, or a job that’s unfulfilling and unimportant, the only reason
why he’s there is because he’s getting paid…that’s why he’s so bored sitting at his desk texting you
all day. How icky is that…

Men of quality much prefer meeting up and connecting in person, they find texting mundane
and boring. Also, they really don’t have time and mental capacity to do that because their days
are really busy.

Rule #3 - Pay attention to the pace of your conversation: like everything else in life, if you start
something at the highest point, it’ll only be downhill from there…

Many women feel really good about getting lots of text messagings, BUT If you started off a
relationship by texting a lot, updating each other all the time, it will only go quieter as time goes
by.

It will eventually come to a day where you realise that he’s texting less, replying slower… it’s a
one-way street, then you start to be paranoid, you start to chase, and that’s the beginning of your
worst nightmare…

Good things take time.

Start slow and build up the intensity from there.

During the early stage, a few short texts per day would be optimal. Less is more here.

Remember, dating is like playing poker - don’t show all your cards at once. Men love mystery.

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Part Two
Texting when things are progressing well

Once you have passed the early stages where you’ve been on a few dates, and you liked each
other, and he’s actively pursuing you and making plans to meet up every week or fortnightly...

This is where you can start texting a bit more frequently, and have a few phone calls here and
there.

Bear in mind that until he’s officially asked you to be exclusive with him, he’s not yet your
boyfriend, so he’s not obligated to text you daily, just yet.

Emotional discipline is KEY here. I urge you to keep yourself busy with your fabulous life, and
remain emotionally independent (please don’t be clingy, clinginess repel men) - as in your
happiness should not depend on him, as it should never be, ever!

Rule #4 - Only give what you receive.

The divine feminine energy is reciprocal in nature, meaning that the feminine reflects the same
energy they’ve received.

If a man is giving you one word answer, don’t send back a big paragraph trying to strike up a
conversation.

If he’s not even texting back, but only liking your message, you should just do the same next time
he texts you.

If you want to play this game at an advanced level, when he takes one step back, you take two.

If it’s taking him one day to get back to you? Okay, reply in two business days.

If it’s taking him 3 days to reply, text him back next week.

Or feel free to ghost him if he’s being hot and cold.

You are a lady, you don’t complain, you don’t explain, you also DO NOT owe anyone any
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Rule #5: If he’s not asking you questions, he is not interested in you.

Men are judgmental by nature, they LOVE judging - because back in cavemen era, men need to
gather information to make quick and accurate judgement during hunting to secure a prey to
feed his family.

Men that are interested in you, will ask you lots of questions to get to know (or well, to judge)
you.

They aim to collect as much information as possible, so they can keep reviewing the dynamic
and make sound judgement as to if he wants to keep investing in you or not.

This is how their brains are wired.

If a man is not asking you questions to get to know you, don’t make excuses for him like “oh he’s
just shy” or “he’s just socially awkward”.

NO.

All men are judgemental.

And when they are interested in something or someone, they will do everything in their power
to try to figure them out and to understand how they operate.

Men like to figure things (and people) out. It’s like boys can literally spend all day figuring out
how to build a bumble bee using hundreds of pieces of legos; and grown men are obsessed about
sports and cars systems.

So what do you do when he’s not asking you questions?

Leave it.

If he’s not asking, you have nothing to say to him. I know this is going to feel uncomfortable for
a lot of you, and you might feel guilty, but remember, you are a lady, you don’t chase, and you
don’t owe anyone any explanation.

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Rule #6 dealing with men that say “I suck at texting” or “I don’t text much”

Here’s the truth - it is impossible to have a relationship with someone like this.

If a man doesn’t text you, you can’t build a relationship with him.

Also, no one is really that busy.

Let me give you an example, let’s say president Biden of America, if he’s wife texted him
something important, but he was busy in a meeting or i don’t know, busy with whatever national
security concerns,

Do you think it’s going to take him 48 hours to get back to her?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Because that’s his wife - and he cares about her.

Now tell me, do you know any man that’s busier than the president of the United States of
America?

If not then why can’t he text you back in a timely manner? Why does it take him 24 hours to
reply to a simple message?

Because?

He’s not that interested. No one is really that busy.

Give you a personal example, I’ve dated a millionaire that owns two companies in the city of
London.

He’s so busy that he has to constantly switch between two of his offices (they are about 7 minutes
away by walking) daily.

But he always replies to my text in a timely manner, and when I needed something important or
asked an urgent question, he will reply almost instantly even if he’s in a meeting. Or he’d
FaceTime me on his 7 minute walk between offices to catch up.

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If a man that owns two finance companies with dozens of employees can find time to do this,
how busy could a normal working class person be?

And also, let’s be honest, men are almost ALWAYS on their phone nowadays.

99% of men are watching YouTube or catching up with sports scores when they are in bed or
doing business in the bathroom.

They literally have their phones in their hand, ALL THE TIME.

Read this again: They literally have their phones in their hands 24/7.

So now tell me, sending a text takes 5 seconds, if he’s not texting you back - what does that mean?

You have your answer!

Now, perhaps some men are really genuinely terrible at texting, but if you are a girl that loves
receiving a few texts from your man throughout the day or else you might feel disconnected,

You two are fundamentally INCOMPATIBLE because you have very different communication
styles.

It won’t work.

And don’t expect him to change because people don’t change. If he’s not been texting for the past
30 years, he will always be like this.

Rule #7: Quality > quantity

Lot of women feel good about those “good morning” or “good night” texts, but let me tell you
this: when it comes to texting, like most things in life, it’s about quality, not quantity.

Men told me this, you should treat good morning texts like spam.

Like you get a promotional email from Sephora. All the girls on the mailing list get it - it’s
nothing special.

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These texts are so low effort that they don’t mean anything, it doesn’t mean he’s thinking of you,
because often, guys send out 3-5 of these spam messages to different girls daily LOL (again, their
words, not mine)

So don’t put too much thought into it. You can either say it back or just simply like his message.

Texting could be very intoxicating because everytime you receive a text from someone you like,
your brain receives a dopamine hit, and you feel good.

If you are an anxious girl (or have an anxious attachment style), and it doesn’t sit well with you
when he’s not texting much or replying slowly…

Let me tell you this: You want a man that doesn’t text throughout the day, you want a man that’s
busy working to make money instead of sitting around with their phones doing nothing.

To attract a high value man and get into a relationship with him, you first need to become a high
value woman that has a fabulous life that she absolutely loves,

If you are currently in a situation where you don’t have much going on with your life, and that
you get attached easily when you meet a new guy…

And that getting a few text messages from men is the highlight of your day,

You need to stop dating, and work on building a life you love.

I am saying this coming from a place of love - I am not here to tell you what you want to hear, I
am here to tell you what you NEED to hear,

Take ownership of your life and behaviours - this is the first step to building a life that you
absolutely love, and be courted and spoiled by high quality men.

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Part Three
How to text men, literally

What to reply when he texts this:

1. When a guy from the past texted you out of the blue, or commented on your post or slid
into your DM

He’s thinking:

I am so bored, let me send out a bunch of texts to see which chick replies -
maybe I can even get some action if they are desperate, if not at least I get
an ego boost because I know I still have influence over them.

Wrong response: text him back because you don’t want to be rude, or you feel bad
when you ignore him.

Correct response: BLOCK + DELETE

2. When a guy you’ve been on a few dates with started pulling back and texting less

He’s thinking:

1) I like this girl, but things are progressing too fast, it’s a bit overwhelming,
I need space to figure out where my head is at

2) This is my usual pattern, I like to lovebomb women as usual, then pull

back and let them chase, this is fun and feeds into my ego

Wrong response: Chase, text him more, ask him what’s wrong

Correct response: When he takes one step back, you take two. He’s taking a day to text
you back? You take two to reply. And if things carry on the way it is, be prepared to
walk away.
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KEYNOTE: This is NOT a texting tactic, this is about having a high self-esteem, and knowing
that there is an abundance of men out there. When he’s pulling back, you pull back MORE,
and you are prepared to walk away at any moment. This is your identity, this is NOT playing
games.

Conversation example:

Hey I miss you

(after not being in touch for two weeks)

Wrong response:

I miss you too!

Correct response:

Hey, hope you are doing well. I have to be honest,

I feel like we haven’t been that close for a while,
and when you suddenly text me something like
this, it comes across (rightly or wrongly) as a bid
of attention.

*Credit: I learnt this line from Audrey Hussey - dating coach Matthrew Hussey’s wife.

This is such a warm yet savvy reply: you sounded very polite, but you are also pointing out the
elephant in the room by calling out his poor behaviour.

He will either be impressed and respect you massively; or he will be ashamed/angry and run
off with his tails between his legs…

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3. When a guy you’ve been on a few dates with invited you to go to his house to cook dinner
together but you are not ready to be intimate

Hey, would you like to come over

this weekend? I’d love to cook
for you.

He’s thinking:

Let me try to push her boundaries to see if how much I can get away with things

Btw I just want to say that when a man initiates sex - it doesn’t make him a bad man. It merely
makes him A MAN!

Can’t blame a man for trying *wink*

BUT - it’s up to you to deal with his premature request gracefully.

Wrong response:

(make up some excuses to explain why you can’t go over when

the truth is you liked him but you wanted him to wait.)

Correct response:

Hey I really enjoy spending time with you, but this is a bit too soon for
me, if you’d like to take me out sometime next week, I’d love that. ️☺
What you are trying to say is:

I really enjoy spending time with you >> I like you

But this is a bit too soon for me >> I am a lady with standards (you shut the door in his face,
politely)

If you’d like to take me out sometime next week, I’d love that ️ ☺ >> I am still interested in
you, so this is not a rejection, it’s a redirection (You reopened the door for him)

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4. When a guy kept texting you to ask when you are free but when you gave him dates, he
never followed up

Next time when he does the same,

Ghost him.

If you think ghosting him is rude and you feel guilty, let me point out the truth here:

Who is the RUDE person here?

Is it the one that kept lurking around, stirring the pot to disturb women’s life without creating
any sort of real value, with the sole purpose of getting an ego boost that benefits himself but no
one else;

Or is it the smart woman that’s prioritising her mental health by disengaging with poor
behaviours?

I believe you have the right answer at heart.

If he double texted and kept playing the same game by asking for your availability even when
you don’t reply, and yet never suggested a concrete time and venue, BLOCK HIM.

Let’s be real here, he has no intention to take you out and spend money on you - nor will he
ever spend a dime on you, he is just bored.

This is where most of my students would say “Gosh, Abi you are so savage…”

Yes I am - I cut people off ruthlessly when they repeatedly step over my boundary, because I
am the VIP of my life, and I do what’s best for me, and I truly believe the world will be a much
better place if all women do that:

If more women are valuing themselves and making better dating choices, there won’t be kids
born into poverty, there won’t be kids being traumatised struggling to survive in a single-
parent household, and there won’t be women being forced to go to work with swollen legs
while 8-month pregnant because they can’t afford to take days off.

I believe in you, and I think with some practice, you can be like me too.

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5. When a guy on a dating app kept asking you questions and you can’t be bothered to answer,
you want to be taken out on a date instead of being a penpal:

(Questions after questions x 100)

Your responses (two options):

Haha I’d love to tell you the whole story but it’s gonna
take me 203845 pages to type it out

I am keen to tell you more but my thumbs are getting

tired… 😭
And then just leave it there.

There are three possible outcomes:

1) He will step up his game and ask you out
2) He will stop replying
3) He will ignore your nudge and continue to talk about something else

If 1) happens > GREAT

For 2) and 3) > you block and delete him. Don’t be scared and think you might have lost a po-
tential date, 95.6% of chance he’ll never take you out on a date and the only reason he’s texting
you is that he’s bored. So you have nothing to lose, and you’ve saved yourself tons of time.

One key point to remember: You don’t owe anyone any explanation. You are entitled to not
reply for the sake of your mental health.

Adult men are fully capable of handling ghosting and rejection. They are big boys with big
egos.

Be kind, but not nice. Being a nice girl will get you NOWHERE in life.

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Closing thought

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this - please study this guide repeatedly and extensively, and
keep it somewhere easy for you to reach so you can reference this whenever you are dealing
with a tricky texting situation.

If you are committed to follow the steps in this guide, I would expect your dating life to flour-
ish.

You will shield yourself from headaches and heartbreaks, and you will gradually see a dramatic
improvement in the quality men that you date.

And I am excited for you!

My mission is to empower women and protect children. The more women are exposed to my
teaching, the brighter our future generations’ lives will be.

While I ask you to respect my work and not share this ebook with others, please do feel free to
share any of your learning points to help your friends’ dating situations, or send them a link so
they can grab a copy for themselves too!

I also have two other books for those that are seriously about upgrading their love life:

How to Talk to Men

The Insanely Thorough Guide to Beating the Online Dating Algorithm

You can use code: EBOOK15 for a 15% discount at check out.

Always looking out for you,

Abigail xoxo

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