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East African Scholars Journal of Psychology and Behavioural Sciences

Abbreviated Key Title:EAS J PsycholBehavSci


ISSN 2663-1865 (Print) | ISSN 2663-6751 (Online)
Published By East African Scholars Publisher, Kenya
Volume-5 | Issue-4 | Jul-Aug-2023 | DOI:10.36349/easjpbs.2023.v05i04.001

Original Research Article

The Current Situation of Conflict between Parents and Teenage Children


Nguyen Thi Hong Hanh1*
1
Institute for family and gender studies, Tran Xuan Soan Street, Hai Ba Trung District, Hanoi, Vietnam

Abstract: The prevalence of conflicts between parents and children is a


Article History common issue in families and needs to be addressed properly to ensure the
Received: 29.05.2023
Accepted: 04.07.2023 development and happiness of every family member. This is a sensitive and
Published: 06.07.2023 complex problem that requires knowledge, empathy, and love to resolve. The
article surveyed and evaluated 706 adolescents in the age group of high school
Journal homepage: students (15-17 years old). The research surveyed the common content of
https://www.easpublisher.com
conflicts within families, such as education, social relationships with friends,
Quick Response Code finances, and the use of the internet/technology. The frequency of conflicts was
measured on different levels: no conflict, infrequent (a few months), frequent
(daily/weekly), and severe. Additionally, the study analyzed factors influencing
the frequency of conflicts between parents and children. The survey results and
analysis serve as a basis for building solutions to foster better relationships
among family members.
Keywords: Family, parents, children, conflicts, reality.
Copyright © 2023 The Author(s): This is an open-access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International
License (CC BY-NC 4.0) which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium for non-commercial use provided the original
author and source are credited.

without fear of criticism or restriction, is crucial.


INTRODUCTION Empathy, willingness to listen, and seeking common
In family life, conflicts between parents and solutions are essential factors in resolving conflicts and
teenage children are a common and frequent issue. It ensuring the development and happiness of the family.
involves clashes in perspectives, values, and desires
between two generations, creating significant tensions
and difficulties. Conflicts can stem from various LITERATURE REVIEW
reasons, including differences in lifestyles, beliefs about Steiberg (1989) and Montemayor (1983)
education, demands, and individual freedom. Parents approached parent-adolescent conflict from a biological
often aim to create a safe and stable environment for and developmental perspective, considering it an
their children, which can lead to control and limitations inevitable discord during the process of adolescence.
on their freedom. However, teenagers often have their According to these authors, parent-adolescent conflict
own opinions, seeking to express their independence arises from the biological demands of adolescents - the
and explore the world around them. This is a stage urge for peer interaction and a greater involvement with
where children begin to develop their personalities and the social world outside the family than with their
individual awareness, and conflicts with parents are parents. From the authors' viewpoint, conflicts do not
inevitable. have severe consequences on the development of
teenagers since a deep bond is established between
Family conflicts can arise from lack of children and their parents during early childhood. Maja
understanding, communication, and misjudgment. Dekovic (1999) suggests that conflict has an inverse
Parents and children often have different expectations relationship with the quality of the parent-child
regarding behavior, achievements, and personal relationship. Although some studies argue that the
development. Without understanding and flexibility, closer parents and children are, the more likely conflicts
conflicts can escalate into arguments, quarrels, and arise due to increased frequency of interaction and
more, affecting the relationships and harmony within freedom to express emotions and viewpoints during
the family. To resolve family conflicts, listening, conversations, Maja Dekovic believes that frequent
respect, and understanding from both sides are conflicts tend to occur more often in parent-child pairs
necessary. Most importantly, building an open and with poor relationship quality.
sincere communication environment, where both
parents and children can express their viewpoints
*Corresponding Author: Nguyen Thi Hong Hanh 70
Institute for family and gender studies, Tran Xuan Soan Street, Hai Ba Trung District, Hanoi, Vietnam
Nguyen Thi Hong Hanh., EAS J PsycholBehavSci; Vol-5, Iss-4 (Jul-Aug, 2023): 70-76

Using a regression model in the analysis, the Areas of frequent parent-child conflict can be
author includes two variables: the impact of conflict and examined from the following perspectives: Firstly,
the quality of the parent-child relationship, with conflicts between parents and children can arise from
negative outcomes such as low self-confidence and differences in thinking, behavior, and lifestyle between
depression resulting from the quality of the parent-child parents and children. Secondly, within the scope of the
relationship rather than the frequency of conflicts research topic, conflicts can be measured through the
between parents and children. On the contrary, the evaluation of students regarding this issue. Thirdly,
author suggests that parent-child conflicts have a more conflicts between parents and children can be viewed
negative impact on parents than on teenagers. Onongha from various dimensions, such as the frequency of
(2015) considers conflict to occur when the values and conflicts, the severity of conflicts, conflict resolution
beliefs of two individuals differ. From this perspective, strategies, and the consequences of conflicts. Fourthly,
both parents and children face numerous conflicts. based on the findings from the literature review, parent-
From the perspective of adolescents, conflicts arise child conflicts can be categorized into 10 indicators:
when parents do not respond emotionally as expected,
when parents believe that the child cannot meet their Use of free time, including time spent using
expectations, or due to a lack of agreement within the technology devices, the internet, and socializing with
family. Thus, the causes of conflicts are diverse, friends. Academic matters: grades, studying at home,
including differences in values, behavior patterns, and tutoring, school selection. Financial matters: part-time
communication quality between parents and children. jobs, ownership of money, spending money. (Note: The
translation of the remaining indicators is cut off. Please
Methods for studying and measuring parent-child provide the complete text, and I'll be happy to translate
conflict it for you.)
One of the important indicators to describe
conflicts is measuring the content and frequency of
conflicts. Based on accessible literature, it can be said
RESEARCH METHODS
that the common method is to list a catalog of behaviors Direct interviews with family members can be
and topics that may cause conflicts. Respondents can used to gather information about conflicts. The
then self-identify whether they have conflicts in these questions can focus on aspects such as the level of
areas and, if so, at what frequency. However, in each conflict, the causes of conflicts, the impact on the child,
study, this catalog may vary, and the frequency scale and how the family resolves conflicts. Surveys can be
may also differ depending on the research objectives conducted to collect data from a larger number of
and scope. Farzana Ashraf's study (2017) used the participants in the study. The questions can be related to
measurement scale by Prinz, Foster, Kent, and O'Leary the level of conflict, changes over time, emotions, and
(1979), which included 44 potential conflict areas (such perspectives of family members. The study focuses on
as doing homework, tidying up clothes, etc.). In each analyzing 10 indicators related to the use of free time,
area, adolescents and parents were asked to indicate the academics, and finances. To understand the frequency
topics of conflicts that occurred in the past month. This of parent-child conflicts, each conflict indicator will be
is a measurement scale that many researchers use to measured on a 4-point Likert scale ranging from 0:
understand and analyze the state of parent-child Almost no conflict, 1: A few times a month, 2: A few
conflict, such as the study by Brett Laursen (2005). times a week, 3: Almost daily.

Another example is the research by Susan J.T. Observing family behavior to track
Branje and colleagues (2009), which measured the interactions between parents and children in a natural
frequency of conflicts based on Laursen's Interpersonal environment. Researchers observe and record
Conflict Inventory (1993), consisting of 35 topics behaviors, body language, and emotions of family
measured on a 5-point frequency scale. In Brian K. members to assess the level of conflict and social
Barber's study (1994), conflicts were described based interaction. Using self-report data, external assessments
on 10 topics using a 6-point scale ranging from "never" to reference external sources of information such as
to "daily" over a one-year period. Another example is teachers, social workers, or other concerned individuals
the study by Atya Mohammed Hasan and colleagues to gather information about conflicts within the family.
(2016), which used the Parent-Adolescent Issues
checklist by Robin and Foster (1989). In this study, THE FREQUENCY OF CONFLICTS BETWEEN
adolescents were asked to select how many conflict PARENTS AND ADOLESCENTS (15-17 YEARS
topics they had with their parents from a list of 44 OLD)
topics. However, unlike some other studies, in this Frequency of conflicts between parents and
method, adolescents only needed to choose between adolescents regarding academic-related topics
"Conflict" or "No conflict." Cases with 13 or more Regarding the content of conflicts, the most
conflicts were defined as "frequent conflicts." common cause between adolescents and parents is
related to studying at home. The percentage of
adolescents having conflicts with their mothers
regarding studying at home is 63.3%, while the
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Nguyen Thi Hong Hanh., EAS J PsycholBehavSci; Vol-5, Iss-4 (Jul-Aug, 2023): 70-76

percentage of conflicts with their fathers on this topic is rate is nearly 2.5 times higher, reaching 51.7%. These
54.6%. Among these, the percentage of adolescents numbers suggest that in urban areas, where specialized
having conflicts with their fathers ranging from a few schools and tutoring centers flourish, along with
times a week to daily is 19%, compared to 25.5% with intensive exam preparation courses, the academic
their mothers. After regular school hours, additional pressure on adolescents is higher compared to rural
tutoring, and extracurricular activities, studying at home areas. Exploring the rates of parents pressuring their
is when they complete assignments, do homework, children to study even when exhausted and the rates of
review old knowledge, and learn new concepts. adolescents facing pressure regarding grades, survey
Therefore, whether they study during their time at home data clearly indicate a distinct difference between rural
and how they utilize that time can often lead to conflicts and urban areas. Adolescents in urban areas face more
between adolescents and their parents. The second most pressure than their counterparts in rural areas. The
common field of conflicts is grades. The percentage of percentage of urban adolescents being pressured by
adolescents having conflicts with their fathers about their parents to study even when tired is approximately
grades, occurring a few times a month, is 41.1%, while 50%, with occasional to frequent pressure accounting
on a weekly to daily basis, it is 11.4%. The for 27.6%. Meanwhile, in rural areas, only about 35%
corresponding percentages for conflicts with mothers report experiencing such pressure. Similarly,
are 46.2% and 16.9%. Tutoring and choosing schools concerning grade-related pressure, if in rural areas the
are two areas with fewer conflicts compared to studying occasional/frequent rates of parental pressure are
at home and grades. Approximately 35% of respondents 24.6%, in urban areas, this number rises to 37%. This
have conflicts with their fathers regarding tutoring, and statistically significant difference demonstrates that the
the percentage of conflicts with their mothers is about urban learning environment is more competitive,
42%. achievement-oriented, and a contributing factor to
increased conflicts between parents and children.
To explain the conflicts between parents and
adolescents regarding academics, quantitative and The gender of the adolescent is also a factor
qualitative data suggest two main reasons. Firstly, it is that contributes to the differences in conflicts with
due to the academic pressure created by parents on their parents regarding education. Male adolescents
children. Secondly, it is because adolescents cannot experience more conflicts with their parents than
effectively communicate their difficulties in studying females. The percentage of male adolescents
with their parents. Data analysis shows that 42.8% of experiencing conflicts with their parents regarding
adolescents have been pressured by their parents to grades is 59.2% with fathers, and 67.6% with mothers,
study even when they are tired. Approximately 57% of whereas these percentages for female adolescents are
them share that their parents put pressure on them to 48% and 59.9% respectively. In addition to grades, the
achieve high grades, although at a regular frequency, it proportion of male adolescents experiencing conflicts
is only about 10%, while occasionally it accounts for with their fathers regarding studying at home is 60.6%,
47%. Supporting the quantitative data, during whereas only 50.3% of female adolescents experience
qualitative interviews, some adolescents also expressed such conflicts with their fathers. The grade level also
reasons for conflicts in studying with their parents. For has a statistically significant relationship with conflicts
example, some mentioned that their mothers are very between parents and children regarding additional
strict and have high expectations regarding academic studying and class selection. 12th-grade students
performance. experience higher conflicts with their parents regarding
additional studying and class selection compared to
Factors influencing the frequency of conflicts 11th-grade students, and the lowest conflict rates are
between adolescents and parents regarding found among 10th-grade students. This can be
education can be identified. explained by the fact that 12th grade is a crucial period
Firstly, the living area is a statistically for preparing for university entrance exams, which
significant factor related to conflicts with both parents leads to increased worries and academic pressure,
on all four educational topics. The proportion of resulting in more conflicts with parents.
adolescents in urban areas experiencing conflicts with
their parents regarding education is significantly higher Furthermore, among the four educational
than in rural areas. While the percentage of rural topics, whether adolescents hold class officer positions
adolescents experiencing conflicts with their parents or not is also related to conflicts with parents regarding
about grades is 41.6% and 49.7% respectively, this additional studying. Adolescents who hold class officer
percentage is 61.8% and 74.5% in urban areas, positions have higher rates of conflicts with their
representing a 1.5-fold increase. Similarly, only 22.7% parents compared to those who don't hold such
of rural adolescents experience conflicts with their positions. Additionally, academic performance of
parents about additional schooling, whereas this figure adolescents shows a statistically significant relationship
rises to 45.1% in urban areas. In rural areas, conflicts with conflicts with parents. The percentage of high-
between adolescents and mothers regarding school achieving students experiencing conflicts with their
selection account for 21%, while in urban areas, this parents in all four educational areas is significantly

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Nguyen Thi Hong Hanh., EAS J PsycholBehavSci; Vol-5, Iss-4 (Jul-Aug, 2023): 70-76

higher than the percentage in the non-high-achieving Internet/technology devices in the past month. The
group. Nearly 40% of high-achieving adolescents percentage of conflicts with fathers on a weekly/daily
experience conflicts with their fathers regarding basis is 36.6%, while the percentage of conflicts with
additional studying, and regarding this topic, the rate of mothers is 44.1%. At the level of conflicts occurring
conflicts with mothers is approximately 48%. However, several times a month, the percentage of conflicts with
these percentages in the non-high-achieving group are fathers regarding Internet/technology usage is 38.3%,
24% and 30% respectively. Similarly, the percentage of and with mothers, it is 37.8%.
conflicts between high-achieving students and parents
regarding class selection is 30% higher than the Factors influencing conflicts between parents and
percentage in the non-high-achieving group. children in Internet usage and technology device
usage
Among the two factors related to adolescents' Considering the living areas, if there is no
family life, birth order does not have a statistically difference in conflicts regarding the time spent on
significant relationship with conflicts between parents technology devices/Internet between rural and urban
and children. However, the variable of birth order areas, there is a difference in the content of websites
shows that adolescents with fewer than two siblings accessed by adolescents, resulting in varying rates of
experience more conflicts with their parents compared conflicts between parents and children based on the
to those with two or more siblings. In families with living areas. Specifically, in urban areas, the percentage
three or more siblings, the percentage of conflicts with of conflicts between parents and children regarding the
fathers regarding grades, additional studying, class content of websites accessed by adolescents is
selection, and studying at home are 47.6%, 27.7%, significantly higher compared to rural areas. 49.1% of
22.8%, and 49.4% respectively, while these percentages adolescents in urban areas experience conflicts with
are significantly higher in families with fewer than two their fathers regarding the content of websites accessed,
siblings, reaching 55.6%, 39.1%, 37.5%, and 57.9% and the conflict rate with mothers in urban areas is
respectively. Similarly, in families with more siblings, 40.1%. However, in rural areas, these rates are only
adolescents experience more conflicts with their 24.5% and 25.6% respectively.
mothers regarding education compared to families with
fewer siblings. Among the factors related to the school
environment of adolescents, such as taking on class
Frequency of conflicts between parents and children officer roles and academic performance, the factor of
regarding Internet/technology usage being a class officer does not have a statistically
In order to describe the ownership of significant relationship with conflicts between parents
technology devices among adolescents today, the study and children regarding technology device/Internet
identified seven devices that can connect to the Internet, usage. However, the academic variable shows that
enabling convenient communication, social connections academically high-achieving students tend to have more
with friends, online information retrieval, and other conflicts with their parents regarding the content of
recreational activities. These devices include Internet websites they frequently access compared to
smartphones, laptops, desktop computers, tablets, e- non-high-achieving students. Furthermore, although the
readers, and smartwatches. According to the findings, education level of parents does not affect the occurrence
the highest ownership rate is for smartphones, reaching of conflicts between parents and children regarding the
90.4%, followed by laptops (47%), desktop computers time spent on Internet/technology devices, it strongly
(23.8%), tablets (17.7%), smartwatches (5.7%), and influences the content of websites adolescents
finally e-readers (3.7%). Approximately 70% of the frequently access. Parents with higher education levels
adolescents own two or more technological devices, tend to have more conflicts regarding this topic
indicating the increasing prevalence of technology compared to parents with lower education levels.
device ownership among adolescents. However, the
data also reveals that the ownership rate of technology Conflicts between parents and children regarding
devices is primarily concentrated in urban areas, where socializing activities with friends
living standards are higher and it is assumed that Socializing activities with friends were
adolescents receive better material care compared to measured over the past year and included activities such
rural areas. This can be explained by the contrast in the as visiting each other's homes, going for walks, having
two scenarios shared by adolescents in rural and urban coffee or tea, playing games, etc. (excluding activities
areas, where owning technological devices becomes within the school premises or extracurricular activities).
easier in urban areas. The scale used in this question was a 5-level scale: 1-
Every day; 2-A few times a week; 3-A few times a
The percentage of conflicts between month; 4-A few times a year; 5-Almost never. With the
adolescents and parents regarding Internet usage is three options: 1-Interacting and socializing with friends;
quite high. The majority of interviewed adolescents 2-Engaging in personal activities alone; 3-Participating
reported experiencing conflicts with both their fathers in recreational activities with parents, survey data
and mothers regarding the time spent using the shows that regardless of whether it is a school day or a

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weekend, the majority of adolescents still spend their Frequency of conflicts between parents and
free time engaging in personal activities such as being adolescents regarding financial management.
online, playing games, reading Survey data shows that approximately 80% of
books/newspapers/stories, etc. The second most adolescents express the viewpoint that, at their age, they
common activity is meeting and socializing with have the right to own and decide how to spend their
friends, with a rate of 36.9% on school days and 36% money. In reality, 74.3% of adolescents reported having
on weekends. their own discretionary money, while only 25.7% did
not. This money could be provided by
The data indicates that the majority of parents/grandparents, scholarship funds, or money
adolescents have conflicts with their parents regarding earned by the adolescents themselves. When
the time spent socializing with friends rather than the considering the living area, the percentage of
choice of friends. 43.1% of adolescents reported adolescents with their own discretionary money is
conflicts with their fathers regarding the time spent higher in urban areas compared to rural areas,
socializing with friends, and the conflict rate with specifically 83.6% versus 56.6%. Furthermore, among
mothers on this topic is approximately 50%. On the different grade levels, 10th-grade students have the
other hand, when it comes to choosing friends, the lowest percentage of adolescents with discretionary
percentage of adolescents experiencing conflicts with money compared to 11th and 12th-grade students.
their fathers and mothers is significantly lower, at
28.2% and 33.6% respectively. The survey data also While 67.4% of adolescents believe that the
shows that nearly 45% of adolescents reported that their amount of discretionary money they have is sufficient
parents do not intervene at all in their choice of friends, or more than enough, 32.6% feel that they are in a state
while a small intervention rate accounts for of insufficient/very insufficient discretionary funds. The
approximately 40%, and a high intervention rate percentage of adolescents in rural areas who feel they
fluctuates around 15%. This indicates the level of have insufficient discretionary funds is 42.2%, while
autonomy of adolescents aged 15-17 in establishing this figure is 29.1% in urban areas. This statistically
their own social relationships. significant difference also indicates that in rural areas,
the percentage of adolescents with low discretionary
Factors influencing the frequency of conflicts funds is higher compared to urban areas, and these
between adolescents and parents in relation to adolescents also perceive that the amount of money
friendships they have is insufficient for their needs. However,
Considering the correlation with the living 42.4% of adolescents feel uncomfortable or very
area, the rate of rural adolescents occasionally or uncomfortable asking their parents for more money if
frequently being prevented by their parents from going needed.
out to play is 40.1%, while this rate in urban areas
accounts for only 21.5%. Nearly 50% of urban In addition, taking on part-time jobs is quite
adolescents reported never being hindered by their common among high school students. Survey data
parents when going out to play, while in rural areas, shows that 30.1% of respondents engage in part-time
only around 26% of adolescents do not face parental jobs (paid or unpaid, such as volunteer work). The
obstacles. This also raises a suggestion: perhaps parents choice to take on part-time jobs can stem from various
in urban areas tend to have a more open-minded view reasons. To understand the motivations behind
towards friendships? Furthermore, when considering adolescents at this age choosing to take on part-time
the academic performance of adolescents, nearly 40% jobs, the survey posed multiple choices, including
of those who do not achieve good academic results are reasons such as: to have more spending money, to have
occasionally or frequently hindered by their parents more opportunities for social interaction, to enhance life
from going out to play, while this rate is only about skills and communication skills, to work for fun, to
26% among the high-achieving group. Could it be that avoid staying at home or because parents require it.
high-achieving students gain more trust from their According to the survey results, the highest percentage,
parents in managing their leisure time with friends 64.3%, chose to work in order to have more spending
compared to the low-performing group? Additionally, money, followed by the purpose of enhancing life skills
parents with low academic performance may prioritize (66.3%), and 46.2% chose to work for more social
their children's study time over leisure activities, interaction opportunities. The percentage of those
leading to stricter control over socializing time with working due to parental requirements is very low, only
friends, and this could be a contributing factor to 1.6%, equivalent to three cases in the entire sample.
conflicts. On the other hand, variables such as gender or
class level do not show any statistically significant Factors influencing the frequency of conflicts
relationship with parents preventing children from between adolescents and parents regarding financial
going out to play with friends. activities.
Investigating the factors that contribute to
conflicts between adolescents and parents regarding
financial activities, survey data shows no gender

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differences in conflicts in all three areas. The lead to distance between parents and children when the
percentage of male and female adolescents in conflict nature of the conflicts remains unresolved, making it
with their parents is nearly equivalent. For example, difficult for children to grasp their parents' desires and
24.1% of male adolescents are in conflict with their perceive those desires as "illogical."
fathers regarding part-time work, while the percentage
for female adolescents is 23.5%. In terms of conflicts
related to spending money, 48.2% of male adolescents
CONCLUSION
are in conflict with their mothers, while the percentage By gaining a better understanding of conflicts
for female adolescents is 51.1%. and their impact on parent-child relationships, we can
comprehend the effects of family conflicts on children's
When considering the living area, there are development and well-being. It provides detailed
differences between rural and urban areas in the insights into how conflicts affect the emotions,
percentage of conflicts with parents regarding part-time behaviors, psychology, and social relationships of
work and ownership of money. In urban areas, the children. Additionally, identifying the influencing
percentage of conflicts with parents is higher compared factors and causes of conflicts serves as a basis for
to rural areas. Nearly 30% of adolescents in urban areas finding effective ways to resolve conflicts between
are in conflict with their fathers regarding earning parents and children. This research helps us develop
money, while the percentage for adolescents in rural programs and solutions to support families in reducing
areas is only around 20%. Regarding the reasons for conflicts and fostering a healthy family environment.
ownership of money, 37.9% of urban adolescents are in These programs may include family counseling,
conflict with their fathers, while in rural areas, this parental skills training, and activities to strengthen
percentage is only 24.5%. The same pattern applies to family relationships.
conflicts with mothers. However, the living area factor
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Cite This Article: Nguyen Thi Hong Hanh (2023). The Current Situation of Conflict Between Parents and Teenage Children. EAS J
PsycholBehavSci, 5(4), 70-76.

© East African Scholars Publisher, Kenya 76

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