UNIT 1: CHRISTIAN WORK ETHICS

Work ethics can be defined as a set of values, which involves the right approach, attitude, precise
behaviour (actions), respect for others and lively communication that are deemed appropriate in
the work place.
In the realm of Christian Ethics, work itself is seen as an activity mandated by God and idleness
(laziness) is viewed as a vice. A Christian work ethic therefore requires a commitment to
excellence in the performance of the assigned task, to the honor and glory of God.
A. Work in the Old Testament
God ordained work and work ethics in the Garden of Eden – Adam was commissioned to till the
Garden and name the animals
The concept and origin of work is found in the book of Genesis. In the opening passages, we see
God as the primary worker, busy with the creation of the world (Genesis 1:1-15). We learn that
God worked for six days and rested on the seventh day. These passages reveal that God was the
first to do work on the earth. Therefore, legitimate work reflects the activity of God.
Furthermore, Genesis 1:31 declares that, when God viewed the fruit of His labor, He called it
“very good.” God examined and assessed the quality of His work, and determined that He had
done a good job.

God created man in His image, that is with characteristics like Him (Genesis 1:26-31). He
created man to work with Him in the world. He planted a garden and put Adam in it to:
a. cultivate and maintain it (Genesis 2:8, 15).
To cultivate means to foster growth and to improve.
To maintain means to preserve from failure or decline.
b. Adam and Eve were also to subdue and rule over the earth.
To subdue means to exercise control and discipline.
Rule over means to administer, take responsibility for, and make decisions.

This mandate applies to all vocations. The 15th-century Reformation leaders in the church saw
an occupation (work) as a ministry. We are also admonished to consider and see the work we do
as our ministries, and our workplaces as mission fields.

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The Fall of Man as recorded in Genesis 3 resulted in a change in the nature of work. In response
to Adam’s sin, God pronounced several judgments in Genesis 3:17-19, the most severe of which
is death. God also cursed the ground and as a result work became difficult. The word toil is used,
implying challenge, difficulty, exhaustion, and struggle. Work itself was still good, but man must
expect that it will be accomplished by “the sweat of his brow.” Also, the result will not always be
positive. Although man will eat the plants of the field, the field will also produce thorns and
thistles which must be cleared regularly in order to allow the good plants to thrive. It became
clear that hard work and effort will not always be rewarded in the way the laborer (worker)
expects or desires.

B. Work in the New Testament

2 Thessalonians 3:7 – 12. In Paul’s letter to the church in Thessalonica he gave this instruction
‘For you yourselves know how you ought to follow us, for we were not disorderly among you;
nor did we eat anyone’s bread free of charge, but worked with labor and toil night and day, that
we might not be a burden to any of you, not because we do not have authority, but to make
ourselves an example of how you should follow us. And he goes on to say, “For even when we
were with you, we commanded you this: ‘If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat.’" Instead,
Paul instructs those who had been idle, “Now those who are such we command and exhort
through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread”
Summary:
a. God Himself worked
b. God instructed Adam and Eve to work, so we are also instructed to work
c. Work is of no value except when we see God in it.
d. Work can be very difficult or easy but should be productive
e. We should periodically review the outcome (results) of the work that we do
f. We should also take pleasure in the work that we do.

Work should be conducted in a way that produces the highest quality outcome. The reward for
work is the honor, joy and satisfaction that comes from a job well done. Work becomes drudgery
if we do not find honor, pleasure and satisfaction in the work that we do.

1. Our attitude towards work reveals a lot about us

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 The way we work reveals a lot about who we are. It exposes underlying character,
motivations, skills, abilities, and personality traits. Jesus echoed this principle in Matthew
7:15-20 when He declared that bad trees produce only bad fruit and good trees only good
fruit. In 1 Corinthians 10:31 we read that whatever we do should be to His glory. The term
‘glorify’ means “to give an accurate representation.” Therefore, work done by Christians
should give the world an accurate picture of God in love, righteousness, faithfulness,
service and excellence.
2. Work is a means to an end – food, shelter, clothing and all the necessities of life
Work is done not only to benefit the worker, but others also
a. 1 Timothy 5:8 “but if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those
of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever
b. Exodus 23:10-11 “for six years plant your land and gather in what it produces. But
in the seventh year, let it rest and do not harvest anything that grows on it. The poor
may eat what grows there, and the wild animals can have what is left. Do the same
with your vineyards and your olive trees. Ephesians 4:28 Let him who stole, steal
no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he
may have something to give him who has need.
Summary: we work for our own benefit, that of our families and others who are in need

THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE CHRISTIAN EMPLOYER

What does the Bible say about employers?
The Bible does not give direct instructions to employers but its principles for human
relationships can be applied to the work setting.
Christian employers need to set Christ-like examples to live out the Gospel in their lives. The
main purpose which God allows a person to be in that position of command is to reflect the
beauty of the Lord Jesus Christ and to make Him known to people around him.
The Christian employer must be mindful of his responsibility towards the employees, customers,
community and government.

Christian Employer – Attitude toward staff

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The main difference between a Christian employer and others is that the former has Christian
values as guiding principles in everyday life. These values are to be based on the Bible and
guided by the love of God.

Be concerned, generous and value your workers

Luke 7:1-50 ESV Now a centurion had a servant who was sick and at the point of death, who
was highly valued by him. When the centurion heard about Jesus, he sent to him elders of the
Jews, asking him to come and heal his servant.
a. Create a conducive work atmosphere that promotes productivity – provide the workers
what they need to be maximally productive – infrastructure, finances and human
relationships
b. Make conditions of service very friendly
c. Pay fair wages to staff and pay on time
d. Ensure that working hours are flexible
e. Provide opportunities for upgrading of knowledge and skills
f. Make sure staff enjoy days of leave
g. Provide medical benefits to staff – health insurance policy
h. Subsidized meals (canteen services)
i. Provide allowances for work clothes
j. Pay annual end-of-year bonuses
k. Grant family-event leaves – maternal child-care leave
l. Provide retirement benefits)
m. Share vital information with staff

Quotations to support above

1. The apostle James warned people who did not pay their workers: James 5:1-6
“Now, you rich people, weep and cry aloud. There are terrible troubles that will soon be
coming to you. Your riches have lost their value. Your beautiful clothes are as if moths
had eaten them. Your gold and your silver have become dirty and stained. The dirt and
stains will be evidence against you in the judgement. They are like poison that will eat up
your bodies as with fire. That is because you have heaped up a lot of riches in these last
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 days. Listen! You have not paid the wages of those who worked in your fields. The
money you kept from them cries out to God against you. The Lord of all power has heard
the cries of the workers. You have lived on earth in luxury. And you have had all that you
wanted. You lived to please yourselves. You have made yourself fat, like animals ready
for men to kill. You have accused. And you have caused the death of those who were
innocent.”
2. Proverbs 11:1 - A false balance [is] abomination to the LORD: but a just weight [is] his
delight.
3. Romans 4:4 “Now to the one who works, his wages are not counted as a gift but as his
due.”
4. Proverbs 22:16 “Whoever oppresses the poor to increase his own wealth, or gives to the
rich, will only come to poverty.”
5. Deuteronomy 24:15 “You shall give him his wages on the same day, before the sun sets
(for he is poor and counts on it), lest he cry against you to the Lord, and you be guilty of
sin.”
6. Leviticus 19:13 “You shall not oppress your neighbour or rob him. The wages of a hired
servant shall not remain with you all night until the morning.”
7. Being generous – God expects Christian employers to be generous. “Thou shalt furnish
him liberally out of thy flock, and out of thy floor, and out of thy winepress: of that
wherewith the LORD thy God hath blessed thee thou shalt give unto him”
8. How many domestic helpers have been denied sufficient food and even beaten or tortured
when they eat food found in the kitchen? Do take careful note that it is the responsibility
of masters in households to provide sufficient food for their helpers as these verses imply:
“And thou shalt have goats' milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and
for the maintenance for thy maidens” In the story of the prodigal son, he recalled how his
father nourished his servants sufficiently. “And when he came to himself, he said, How
many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with
hunger!” (Luke 15:17).
9. Forbearing threatening – “And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing
threatening” (Ephesians 6:9a). Forbearing threatening has the meaning of giving up or
avoiding issuing threats. It is a disposition to govern by love rather than terror. Christian
employers should not be tyrants to their subordinates.
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 10. Deuteronomy 24:14 ESV “You shall not oppress a hired servant who is poor and needy,
whether he is one of your brothers or one of the sojourners who are in your land within
your towns.
Responsibility to customers
1. build a strong relationship with your customers for them not only to remain your loyal
clients but also bring more people along with them.
2. Treat customers with dignity and respect
3. Avoid lying, making fake promises and commitments which you yourself know are
difficult to fulfil.
4. If you can’t deliver something, please mention it clearly. They might not invest in that
particular product but, would definitely come back to you in near future just because
you were honest and guided them correctly. It is pointless to badmouth your
competitors.
5. Employers and employees must realize that they exist to provide service to
customers. They must therefore treat customers with all the dignity and respect they
deserve.
6. Give customers high quality products
7. Businesses dealing with customer’s money need to be extra careful with clients.
Make sure their money is invested in a right way and also multiples at a rate promised
to them. Do not run away with their money. It is one of the worst things you can do to
your customers. It is your responsibility to take care of their hard-earned money.
8. Respect your customer’s time. Do not decide the time and venue as per your
availability and comfort. If the customer wants to meet you at 5 in the evening, make
sure you are there on time.
9. Organizations tend to forget their customers once the deal is done. After sales service
is essential and ensures long term growth and profits for the organization. Make sure
you are in touch with your customers after the deal. Do not ignore their calls once you
have sold your product. If the customer is not satisfied with your product, it is your
responsibility to replace it or provide a solution.
10. Customer feedbacks are important and help you understand the satisfaction level of
your esteemed customers and how you can make your product better in due course of
time.
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Responsibility to Society, Community and Government –
1. Corporate Social Responsibilities – The business outfit must be relevant and responsive
to the needs of the community in which it operates. Some communities need schools,
health facilities, roads, scholarships for indigenes etc
2. Payment of taxes to whom it is due – Matthew 22:17 – 22 Tell us, then, what you think.
Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, or not? ………show me the coin for the tax. And they
brought him a denarius. And Jesus said to them, “whose likeness and inscription is this?”
They said, “Caesar’s” Then he said to them, “Therefore render to Caesar the things that
are Caesar’s and to God the things that are God’s.

Eschew Laziness
The Bible is harsh in its condemnation of laziness:
1. Proverbs 18:9 ‘He who is slothful in his work is a brother to him who is a great
destroyer’.
2. Proverbs 6:6-11 ‘Go to the ant, you sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise
3. 2 Thessalonians 3:7 – 12 In Paul’s letter to the church in Thessalonica …….for we were
not disorderly among you; nor did we eat anyone’s bread free of charge, but
worked…..that we might not be a burden to any of you…..we commanded you this: ‘If
anyone will not work, neither shall he eat.’" work in quietness and eat your own bread”
4. Paul makes the Christian work ethic abundantly clear: “If anyone does not provide for his
own, and especially those of his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than
an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8).
5. Proverbs 21:25 “The desire of the slothful (sluggard) kills him, for his hands refuse to
labor.”
6. Psalm 128:2 “When you eat the labor (fruit) of your hands; you shall be happy (blessed),
and it shall be well with you.”
7. Proverbs 13:4 “The soul of the sluggard desires (craves) and has nothing, but the soul of
the diligent shall be made rich.”
8. Proverbs 20:4 “The sluggard will not plow because of winter, therefore he will beg
during the harvest and have nothing.”
9. Proverbs 20:13 “Do not love sleep, lest you come to poverty; open your eyes, and you
will be satisfied with bread.”
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Positive Work Ethics for the Christian worker
Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart (willingly), as working for the
Lord, not for human masters.” This must be the guiding principle for both the Christian employer
and employee.

Christian Values
a. Honesty: The old adage, "honesty is the best policy" is true today more than ever. Any
job assigned to a person should be done with utmost honesty, without double-dealing,
untruthful or thievery.
b. Integrity at Work: Integrity implies strength and stability. It means taking the high road
by practicing the highest business ethical standards. Representing integrity in the
workplace shows wholeness and reliability in a person's character and in an organization.
c. Dependability: Those who are dependable are considered reliable as well. Hence, it is
necessary to develop the quality of being a responsible person. This will, in turn, nurture
brilliant results and set you as a good example for those around you.
d. Punctuality: going to work on time and regularly
e. Responsibility: Accusing others, claiming victimhood, or passing the buck may solve
short-term crises, but refusal to take responsibility corrodes respect and unity in an
organization. Ethical people take responsibility for their actions. Workplace stress issues
are no excuse. Likewise, actions show the ability to be responsible both in the little and
big things. Good work ethics show a deeper promise to personal responsibility.
f. Trust: Trust is hard to earn and even harder to get back after you've lost it. Everyone who
comes in contact with you or your company must have trust and confidence in how you
do business.
g. Respect: Respect is more than a feeling, but a demonstration of honor, value, and
admiration for something or someone. We respect the laws, the people we work with, the
company and its assets, and ourselves.
h. Teamwork: Always remember that you are a part of the team, no matter what role you
play in it. Do what is not only good for you, but also, beneficial for the team as a whole.
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 It is a business necessity to work openly and supportively in teams whether formal or
informal. You need each other for effective problem solving in the work place.
i. Efficiency: Efficiency is vital for a person's own growth as well as the improvement of
the company he is working with. It is very easy to spot inefficient employees, who waste
a lot of time and resources. Efficiency is still a hallmark of good workers.
j. Effective – get the job done
k. Quality: Quality should be more than making the best product, but should extend to every
aspect of one’s life and work. A person who recognizes quality and strives for it daily has
a profound sense of self-respect, pride in accomplishment, and attentiveness that affects
everything. From your memos to your presentations, everything you touch should
communicate professionalism and quality. Don't let workplace stress issues rob you of
striving for quality in everything you do.
l. Modesty: Humbleness and modesty are amongst the essential elements of good work
ethics. Only a dupe is arrogant, while a wise person always shows behaviors of humility.
m. Leadership: A leader is out front providing an example that others will follow. Problem
solving in the work place must be your first response. The real test of these values comes
from the resulting action. It takes a concerted, company-wide effort, to make it happen.
n. Positive Work Habits: Inculcate good working habits that will impress the people you are
working with and your superiors as well. Coming to work late, dressing inappropriately
and shuffling jobs are considered as signs of not following good work ethics.
o. Initiative: To be successful in whatever you do, it is vital to take initiatives on your part.
Don't wait to be told what to do. If you are doing the right thing in an acceptable manner,
do not hesitate to take initiatives.
p. Positive Attitude: Maintaining a positive attitude at work is very important to complete
your tasks successfully. This is because your co-workers get affected by your trait and
respond accordingly.

Negative work attitudes

a) Many could work, but some just don’t want to.
b) More and more people want to do less and less for higher pay – employers and those in
management are having to deal with personnel who do not want to do a reasonable day’s
work for fair wages.
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 c) They take sick leave when they’re not sick – They feign sickness and injuries to get
“down” time.
d) Chronic absenteeism
e) Late to work, early to leave
f) Carrying out activities at work that are unrelated to one’s official duties – time spent on
phones and social media
g) Lack of respect for work rules
h) Lack of professionalism
i) Lack of respect for authorities
j) Lack of team spirit
k) Stealing employer properties
l) Carelessness in handling employer properties

Work - Summary
1. The Bible views productive work itself as a good thing and part of God’s original
purpose for human beings.
2. Work can take various forms, including several kinds of unpaid work that do good
for others.
3. Work provides opportunities for the joy that comes from “earned success,” it gives
us the privilege of creating something of value for other people, and enables us to
support ourselves and others. Work also helps us to express our individual identities.
4. Work became more difficult and included painful toil after the fall, yet we can still
find pride and joy in work. Christians can work to please the Lord in almost any
occupation.
5. It is pleasing to God when we take regular times of rest from work and occasional
longer vacations.

UNIT 2: POVERTY, WEALTH & FINANCIAL STEWARDSHIP

Poverty & Wealth
1. God created human beings with an innate desire to create more and better economic
goods. We must take the biblical warnings about the temptations of materialism

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 seriously, but they should not cause us to abandon the blessings of increased
prosperity.
2. In this world people have different abilities and interests and receive appropriate
payment for their work and so some inequality of possessions will necessarily result.
3. Inequality in itself is not necessarily wrong. However, Scripture encourages us to help
those who are poor and to seek to overcome poverty.
4. Poverty can only be solved by increased prosperity in nations, not by attempting to
compel equality.
5. Christians should seek to alleviate poverty both through helping individual people and
through bringing about biblically-oriented changes in the laws, governmental policies,
and cultural values in a society.
6. Immediate short-term efforts to alleviate poverty through work by individuals,
Christian organizations, and government welfare programs are all important and must
be continued, but short-term help is not enough.
7. For individuals, the permanent solution to poverty is providing opportunities and
skills for productive jobs, and these primarily come through private businesses.
8. For entire nations, the only permanent solution to poverty is increasing the nation’s
gross domestic product, and this must be brought about through changes in multiple
factors in a nation’s economic system, governmental laws, and cultural beliefs and
values.
9. Scripture contains numerous warnings about the dangers of wealth but does not
contain an outright condemnation of having much wealth. Governments must punish
those who have gained wealth by illegal and immoral activities, but must also allow
freedom for anyone to become wealthy by legal means.
Personal Financial Stewardship
1. Stewardship is commonly defined as: The office, duties, and obligations of steward. The
conducting, supervising, or managing of something. The careful and responsible
management of something entrusted to one’s care. Simply stated, stewardship is what we
do to manage something that has been placed under our responsibility. The Bible teaches
that a steward must be someone that can be trusted to care for things that are important or
dear to their master.

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2. Stewardship includes wise management of our treasure, time, and talents so that we can
use these things in service of the Lord for the benefit of others. Exercising faithful
stewardship demonstrates our love for God and our neighbor.
3. We see from these references that stewards were trusted by their masters to oversee and
manage everything the masters had, including their own families in some cases. This
teaches us that a steward must be someone that can be trusted to care for things that were
important or dear to their masters. Given the magnitude of this responsibility, stewards
were often treated like members of the master’s family as they performed a great service,
or ministry, in the master’s household.
4. As Christians, what is included in stewardship? – Most of the time when we think of
stewardship we think of overseeing money or other things we own. Jesus described an
unfaithful steward that wasted his master’s money in Luke 16:1-3. In this passage, the
master wanted to audit how the money was being managed. When the steward realized
what was going to happen, he called the people who owed his master money. He asked
each one how much they owed then told them to write down a number that was smaller
than the full amount. In doing so, he wasted his master’s treasure. These verses
demonstrate that God wants us to be faithful stewards over the treasure that He has given
us.
5. Stewardship of our personal property in accordance with biblical teachings will
include (1) wise giving, (2) wise saving, and (3) wise spending. Both the Old and
New Testaments teach that God’s people should give away some of what they earn.
The Old Testament standard was to give a tithe (ten percent) plus other offerings and
sacrifices.
6. The New Testament does not specify a percentage but encourages generous giving,
motivated by trust in God, and promises several blessings for those who give. Giving
an inheritance to one’s children is appropriate, but requires wisdom.
7. It is right to save for a time when we cannot support ourselves, for unforeseen
emergencies, and for other purposes, but saving money also carries temptations. It is
possible to save too much, or to save too little. There are advantages and
disadvantages in different types of saving and investing.
8. We must spend something to provide ourselves with food, clothing, shelter, and other
things. Spending turns money into goods and services that we should use and enjoy
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 with thanksgiving to God. It is possible to spend too much, and it is possible to spend
too little.

UNIT 3: CITIZENSHIP
The concept of citizenship was born in the city-states of Ancient Greece; specifically, in Athens.
Greek education at the time was designed to instruct citizens in the values, intellectual
frameworks, and habits-of-mind required to be free men. That is, to actively participate in the
political system that shaped their lives and guaranteed their freedoms.

Today, being a citizen means that you are part of a group, and that you have legal and political
rights within that group. It brings with it both privileges and obligations.

The questions we must ask are: “

1. What does it mean to be a good citizen?”, and,
2. “How do you become a good citizen?”

A citizen is an individual with certain rights and duties under a nation and who, by birth or by
choice (naturalization), owes allegiance (loyalty) to that nation. A citizen of a nation has the right
to live there, work, vote, and pay taxes.

Good citizenship means to conduct oneself in accordance with the rights, duties and privileges of
being an inhabitant of a geographical location (nation, region, municipality/district, community)
by means of birth or naturalization.

What the Bible says about duties of citizens

1. Matthew 22:21 They said, “Caesar's.” Then he said to them, “Therefore render to Caesar
the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's.”
2. Romans 13:1- 2 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no
authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore
whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will
incur judgment.

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 3. 1 Peter 2:13-17 Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to
the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and
to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should
put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your
freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the
brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.
4. 1 Timothy 2:1- 4 First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and
thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we
may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it
is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come
to the knowledge of the truth.
5. Paul wrote to Titus (3:1-2), “Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be
obedient, to be ready for every good deed, to malign no one, to be uncontentious, gentle,
showing every consideration for all men.”
Summary -
1. Government should promote justice and peace by upholding law and order and by
maintaining reasonable national defense.
2. Government Should punish evildoers and reward/praise those who do right.
3. Christians should bear those in government in prayer
4. It is essential that we all understand our civic duties and responsibilities as our Christian
duty to God and country.
“I have a responsibility as a citizen to my community. It is both a responsibility and a
privilege because as I work to make my community a better place, I receive intrinsic benefit
as well” Anna Morton
Levels of responsibility
1. Global Responsibility
2. National Responsibility
3. Local Responsibility
4. Family Responsibility

Lessons – National Anthem & Pledge

National Anthem:
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God bless our homeland Ghana,
And make our nation great and strong,
Bold to defend forever,
The cause of Freedom and of Right.
Fill our hearts with true humility
Make us cherish fearless honesty,
And help us to resist oppressor’s rule
With all our will and might for evermore.

Hail to thy name, O Ghana,

To thee we make our solemn vow:
Steadfast to build together
A nation strong in Unity;
With our gifts of mind and strength of arm,
Whether night or day, in mist or storm,
In every need whatever the call may be,
To serve thee, Ghana, now and evermore.

Raise high the flag of Ghana

And one with Africa advance;
Black star of hope and honour,
To all who thirst for liberty;
Where the banner of Ghana freely flies,
May the way of freedom truly lie
Arise, arise, O sons of Ghanaland,
And under God march on for evermore.

Raise high the flag of Ghana

And one with Africa advance;
Black star of hope and honour,
To all who thirst for liberty;
Where the banner of Ghana freely flies,
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May the way of freedom truly lie
Arise, arise, O sons of Ghanaland,
And under God march on for evermore.

National Pledge:
I promise on my honour
to be faithful and loyal to Ghana my Motherland.
I pledge myself to the service of Ghana,
with all my strength and with all my heart.
I promise to hold in high esteem our heritage,
won for us through the blood and toil of our fathers;
and I pledge myself in all things
to uphold and defend the good name of Ghana.
So help me God.

Duties of a Good Citizen:

1. Shows respect for justice, democracy and the rule of law, openness, tolerance
2. Defends the good name of the country.
3. Contributes to Society and Community/Performs Civic Duty
4. Performs his/her civic duty by doing more than his/her fair share to make society work,
now and in the future.
5. Performs his/her civic duty by staying informed on issues concerning privileges and
obligations as a member of the community and of a democratic society.
6. It is the duty of a good citizen to pay taxes – It is government's job to provide us basic
amenities like health facilities, electricity, gas, water supply and telephone e.t.c and in
return we have to pay the tax in order to help our government. Taxes pay for services like
fire-fighters and police, they build roads, and also public schools. Tax money also pays for
national defense and military.

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 7. A good citizen is involved in his/her community. They could make the town a better place
by cleaning it up. Also, a good citizen could also organize the town events, carry out
public education on matters relevant to the development of the community
8. A good citizen respects other people's rights and property.
9. A good citizen cares about the common good
10. A good citizen must respect the cultural heritage of his country i.e. he will have to respect
the heroes, the prophets, the sages and saints of his country.
11. He must respect the race which has given him birth. He must always keep in mind the
future of his country. He must raise the standard of living of his country by working hard
and honestly.

Patriotism – Active participation in the local community and country – be citizens not spectators.
The important quality asked of a good citizen is patriotism.
a. He should have a genuine love for his country and should have a sense of involvement in
its day-to-day affairs, in its economic policies and its international relationships.
b. A good citizen must be ready to sacrifice his everything for the sake of his motherland.
He is also required to be a patriot and nationalist.
c. He should have firm and deep faith in the welfare of his motherland.
d. He has also to keep in his heart the betterment of the country, the welfare of the state, the
good of society and the interest of the nation and possess a good moral conduct.
e. He keeps away from such activities that may harm the interests of his fellow.
f. A good citizen is aware of the fact that he is indebted to his society in many ways.
g. He knows that the labour and work of countless persons have enriched his life. His life to
a very great extent depends of others. He has received much in material and spiritual
benefits from others.
h. Citizens should give for the common good and serve in the military to defend the
common good.
i. Voting: The most important duty and as well as right citizens have is the right to vote. By
voting, the people have a voice in the government
j. Respect the rights of others
k. Love of justice – be fair

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Civil Government
1. God established civil government as a blessing to human beings, to protect us against
the great evil of anarchy. Governments should punish evil and encourage good,
executing justice on wrongdoers and defending the weak and defenceless. Citizens
should obey the laws of the government except in certain circumstances.
2. It is important for governments to safeguard human liberty, which is essential to
human flourishing on the earth. However, government cannot save people or
fundamentally change human hearts.
3. Regarding the relationship between church and state, the church should not govern
“the things that are Caesar’s” and the civil government should not govern “the things
that are God’s.”
4. Civil governments should never try to compel religion but should protect freedom of
religion.
5. Governments should establish a strong and clear separation of powers, and even rulers
must be subject to the rule of law.
6. Governments should be chosen by the consent of the people. Christians should seek to
influence governments for good.

UNIT 4: FRIENDSHIP, DATING & COURTSHIP

Discussion of the subject of dating and courtship will be based on two theological doctrines:
1. Inerrancy of Scripture
2. Sufficiency of Scripture.
The doctrine of the inerrancy of Scripture states that the Bible is the authoritative Word of God,
it is true, and it contains no falsity or error. The doctrine of the sufficiency of Scripture simply
holds that the Bible is sufficient to guide and instruct us authoritatively in all areas of our faith
and life, and that there is no area of life about which the Bible has no guidance for us. The
sufficiency of Scripture is taught explicitly and implicitly in many passages, but perhaps the
most obvious is 2 Timothy 3:16-17: All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching,
rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly
equipped for every good work.

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The Bible speaks to every area of our faith and life at some level. Some things it talks about
explicitly, like salvation or sanctification or marriage or elders. The Bible guides us in some
areas by broader, more general principles and ideas we can build on as we strive to live the
Christian life in practical ways. In either case, no area of life falls totally outside of the guidance
and authority of God's Word.

We cannot simply state that the Bible "doesn't mention dating or courtship," and then think we
are off the hook to pursue this area of our lives either on the world's terms or however seems best
to us without diligent, submissive reference to God's Word. If the doctrine of the sufficiency of
Scripture is true, then God's Word does have authoritative guidance for us about how we might
best glorify God in this area of our lives.

Definition: Dating/Courtship
We may define biblical dating as a method of introduction and carrying out of a pre-marital
relationship between a single man and a single woman (two people of opposite sex). It begins
most often with the man approaching and going through the woman's father or family (i.e. it is
conducted under the authority of the woman's father or family or church; and that always has
marriage as its direct goal.

One should therefore enter into dating or courtship within the acronym CARE:
 Commitment to marriage
 Accountability
 Rejection of the secular/worldly dating philosophy
 Establishing physical boundaries

Even though the Bible does not specifically mention dating or courtship, there are a number of
passages that support various aspects of biblical dating.
1. 1 Corinthians 6:9-7:19 (command to be pure, seriousness of sexual sin and instructions
regarding marriage)
2. 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 (do not wrong or defraud one another in relationships — by
implying a relationship or commitment by your words or conduct that does not actually
exist)
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 3. Song of Solomon 2:7 "do not awaken love before it pleases" — i.e. before the proper
time, meaning marriage)
4. Proverbs 6:20-7:27 (warning to avoid sexual sin and foolish relationships)
5. James 1:13-15 (temptation is to be taken very seriously)
6. Romans 13:8-14 (love others, work for their soul's good; don't look to please self)
7. Romans 14:1-15:7 (favor others, not self ... value what's good to their souls)
8. 1 Timothy 5:1-2 (treat single women as sisters in Christ, with absolute purity)
9. Titus 2:1-8 (young men and women should focus on self-control/godliness)
10. John 14:15 (if you love Christ, you will obey His commands, above your own desires –
and live biblically)

World-View of (Modern) Dating

We may basically define modern dating as a method of introduction and carrying out of a pre-
marital relationship between a single man and a single woman, a single man and several women
and vice versa, a man and man or woman and a woman: that begins with either the man or the
woman initiating with the other. The word-view allows dating multiple partners at a time and
most often, it is conducted outside the formal oversight or authority of either person's family or
church; and it may or may not have marriage as its goal and is often purely "recreational" or
"educational."

Modern dating assumes that ‘what I do and who I date as an adult is entirely up to me and is my
private affair’ (my family or the church has no formal or practical authority) and often knows no
boundaries. Biblical dating assumes a context of spiritual accountability, as is true in every other
area of the Christian life.

In the modern dating scene one usually hides his/her faults to give a false impression about
oneself, in order to keep the partner liking him/her. Casual/Recreational dating is about self-
gratification – that is satisfying own pleasure and needs.

Modern dating philosophy assumes that there will be several intimate romantic relationships in a
person's life before marriage. In fact, it advocates "playing the field" in order to determine "what

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one wants" in a mate. Biblical dating has as its goal to be emotionally and physically intimate
with only one member of the opposite sex ... your-to-be spouse.

Modern dating tends to be egalitarian (no differences between men and women in spiritual or
emotional God-given roles). Biblical dating tends to be complementarian meaning that God has
created men and women differently and has ordained each of these spiritual equals to play
different and valuable roles in the church and in the family.

Modern dating tends to assume that you will spend a great deal of time together (most of it
alone). Biblical dating tends to encourage time spent in group activities or with other people the
two people know very well.

Modern dating tends to assume that you need to get to know a person more deeply than anyone
else in the world to figure out whether you should be with him or her (intimacy before
commitment). The biblical approach suggests that real commitment to the other person should
precede such a high level of intimacy.

Modern dating tends to assume that a good relationship will "meet all my needs and desires, (it's
essentially self-centered). Biblical dating approaches relationships from a completely different
perspective – one of ministry and service and bringing glory to God.

Modern dating tends to assume that there will be a high level of emotional involvement in a
dating relationship, and some level of physical involvement as well. Biblical dating assumes no
physical intimacy and more limited emotional intimacy outside of marriage.

In summary:
Modern dating seems to be about "finding" the right person for me (Test-Driving Your
Girl/Boyfriend); biblical dating is more about "being" the right person to serve my future
spouse's needs and be a God-glorifying husband or wife.

In modern dating, intimacy precedes commitment. In biblical dating, commitment precedes

intimacy.
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The modern dating approach tells us that the way to figure out whether I want to marry someone
is to act like we are married. If we like it, we make it official. If we don't, then we go through
something emotionally – and probably physically – like a divorce. In biblical dating, Scripture
guides us as to how to find a mate and marry, and the Bible teaches, among other things, that we
should act in such a way so as not to imply a marriage-level commitment until that commitment
exists before the Lord.

Modern dating often ends in confusion, hurt, tears and sexual sin. In the world’s view, dating is
for fun, for the moment, for a good time, for sex, a way of dealing with loneliness and to impress
people everyone does it so why not me? Why not us?

Challenges to Dating
1. Knowing who the God-chosen partner is
2. Maintenance of sexual purity and avoidance of complications of sexual sins
Most of the time, young men and women are so quick to say ‘I believe the Lord has given me
this person’. Are you sure? Have you consulted the Lord? Do you listen to His conviction or do
you do what you want to do? If the person is not Christian, then the Lord didn’t give you that
person. If you seek to enter into a relationship with an unbeliever not only is it wrong, you will
regret it, and you will be hurt. If the person claims to be Christian, but lives like an unbeliever
God didn’t send you that person. No type of ungodly person can do God’s will in marriage. “But
he’s nice.” So!
1. 2 Corinthians 6:14–15 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership
has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What
accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?
2. 1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone
who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or
slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

Is the person for me? If you haven’t consulted God about it that means that you haven’t asked
Him if the person you have met is the person He wants you to marry. Biblical/Christian dating
does not consist of casual dating. This type of dating will leave you broken and all over the
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place. Un-Christian dating has caused the most havoc, destroyed countless lives, resulted in
unwanted pregnancies and abortions, and even split churches apart.

If you don’t think that you are going to marry this person and if you don’t feel like God has
possibly brought this person into your life for marriage, then stop wasting each other’s time. A
relationship is not something to take lightly. Casual dating is a form of lust. It doesn’t always
have to be sexual. Lust is always selfish. It is always about I. Lust never seeks the Lord for His
will.

Many people think they are in love for reasons such as the person’s looks, communication skills,
status in life, wealth, etc. A Christian has to ask if God has called him/her to commit his/her life
to this person in marriage?

Many people get into relationships and when they break up they find out that they were not
really in love. There are so many things in this world that help you deceive yourself: for
example, sex, physical attraction, looking at other couples, constantly listening to love music,
fear, constantly watching love movies, pornography etc.

3. 1 John 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and
the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
4. Galatians 5:16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the
flesh.
5. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is
not conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a
record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears
all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

One has to make the effort to avoid sex when dating or courting. Worse still, the double-
mindedness that results from numerous sexual encounters with various people carries into future
relationships and even marriage. This is because of unhealthy soul ties that have been developed,
increasing the chances one's marriage will end in adultery and divorce, which drags down
children and creates generational curses due to family fragmentation.
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Don’ts and Dos
1. Dating should not be encouraged for anyone under a certain age. I would say at least 18
although others would say 16.
2. A person should not even begin to look for a mate unless they are adequately prepared for
the responsibilities of marriage and family, and are themselves emotionally healthy and
spiritually mature (When two emotionally needy people get together in marriage it is
usually a disaster).
3. Never be alone in a room with your boyfriend/girlfriend for a long period of time or you
will fall. In some type of way you will fall. It is not unusual to hear guys say, “I can
handle it I’m strong enough.” Please remember that the desires for the opposite sex are so
strong that we are told to run. We are not given power to endure it. God doesn’t want us
to endure the temptation. Don’t try to fight through it, just run. You are not strong
enough. Stay away! Don’t put yourself in a position to compromise and sin.
4. Dating should only take place in the context of having an accompanying chaperone with
young couples. Or, only group dating should be encouraged. Groups can go to a movie or
have an outing, or go for dinner so that two people can sit together and get to know one
another in the safety of other trusted believers.

1. 2 Timothy 2:22 Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and
peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
2. 1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are
outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

Mentor couples should be secured both during the courtship stage and after the marriage takes
place. Mentor couples are experienced married couples who take younger couples under their
wings, coaching them through personal issues that will eventually come up.

Is kissing and touching sin?

Is there kissing in the Bible that applies to dating? No. Can Christians kiss? Maybe, but be
careful of passionate/romantic kisses and touches that lead you to indulge in sexual thoughts.

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If you feel the temptation just stop don’t lie to yourself. It is a good idea when Christians don’t
kiss before marriage because when you kiss there is no going back you can only go a step
farther. Some Christians choose not to start kissing before marriage and some Christians choose
to hug and kiss lightly. What is going on in your heart? What is your mind saying? What is your
purpose?

Kissing for a long period of time with someone who you are not married to is wrong, it is a form
of foreplay, and it may cause you to fall. Remember that waiting and disciplining yourself in
many areas will make your sexual relationship in marriage more unique, special, godly, and
intimate. Never compromise!

Sometimes the woman is Christian, but she is un-submissive and contentious. Sometimes the guy
is Christian, but he is not a hard worker, he can’t manage his money, he is too immature, etc.
1. Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the
LORD is to be praised.
2. Proverbs 11:22 A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s
snout.

What to look for in a godly man? Take this into consideration.

1. Is he a man? Is he growing into a man? Does he want to be a leader? Look for godliness
because a husband is to one day be your spiritual leader. Look for his love for the Lord
and the advancement of His kingdom. Is he seeking to bring you towards Christ? Does he
work hard?
2. Does he have godly and respectable goals? Can he handle money well? Is he generous? Is
he living in godliness and seeking to obey the Word? Is God working in his life and
making him more like Christ?

The person one is dating must be perfect person. By no means, there might be some areas where
you have to talk to them or God has to change about them, but once again the person should be
godly. Don’t be unrealistic and be careful with expectations when it comes to marriage. Things
might not always be how you expect them to be.

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Your spouse might have as many problems as you, but remember God will give you the spouse
that you desire of course, but also the spouse that you need to conform you into the image of
Christ.
1. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding.

The reason for Christian breakups.

Some of Christians may be in a relationship with the person that God wants then to marry and
they will eventually marry. Sometimes Christians get into relationships with Christians and it just
doesn’t work out. The experience may hurt, but God uses this situation to work in a believer’s
life to conform them into the image of His Son and build their faith. God will replace the person
He has taken away with someone better. Trust in Him.
1. Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the
LORD that will stand.
2. 28. Isaiah 43:18-19 “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make
a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
3. When will God give me a spouse? God has someone already created for you. God will
provide that person.
4. Prepare yourself to get married. Pray that God helps you prepare. There is too much
temptation today. Trust in God and He will help you meet the person who is meant for
you.
5. Make sure that you start your search with prayer. Don’t be afraid because even if you are
a really shy person the Lord will open a door for you. While you are praying for
someone, someone is always praying for you.
6. What you must not do is become bitter and say, “everyone around me is in a relationship
why am I not?” Sometimes we are not ready financially and spiritually, or not mature
enough, or it’s just not God’s will yet. You must keep your eyes on Christ and pray for
His peace and comfort when you are single because you will kill yourself if you are
constantly thinking about it.

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 7. You will start saying, “maybe I’m too this, maybe I’m too that, maybe I need to start
looking like this, maybe I need to buy that.” That is idolatry and of the devil. You are
perfectly made. Trust in the Lord that He will provide.
8. Sometimes God uses singleness to drive you in prayer. He wants you to keep on
knocking and one day He is going to say, “enough, you want it? Here! There she is, there
he is. I have sovereignly given you this person. I made her/him for you. Now take care of
him and lay down your life for her.”
a) 29. Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper who is right for him.“
b) Proverbs 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife
is from the LORD.

UNIT 5: MARRIAGE, FAMILY AND DIVORCE

In Biblical times, marriages were commonly arranged by the parents of the bride and groom. The
parents sometimes allowed their children to have a say in the choice, but frequently they did not
(Genesis 21:21, 24:1-4, 38:6, Judges 14:1-2). Dating and courtship did not precede marriage. The
negotiations by the parents resulted in a betrothal, a binding agreement pledging the bride and
groom to marriage. Girls and boys were typically betrothed shortly after puberty, and the
betrothal lasted for one year. Then the groom took the bride into his home, and the marriage was
consummated with sexual intercourse.

Various ceremonies and feasts accompanied the wedding day at different times in history, but the
wedding was not performed, sanctioned or blessed by religious officials. As far as is known,
there was no exchange of marriage vows, and our commonly used marriage vows do not come
from the Bible. The marriage was neither a civil nor a religious matter, but numerous religious
obligations came as a result.

THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE

Marriage was instituted by God as a lifelong commitment (Genesis 2:18-24, Matthew 19:3-9, 1
Timothy 4:1-5). In Old Testament times, everyone was expected to be married and have children
(Proverbs 18:22, Jeremiah 29:6). However, Jesus was unmarried and said remaining unmarried
(celibacy) was a good choice for those who could accept that life and devote themselves to God
27
(Matthew 19:10-12). The apostle Paul was also unmarried. He said remaining unmarried was a
good and holy alternative, but it is better to marry than to be tempted into immorality by passion
(1 Corinthians 7:8-9). Peter and many of the other apostles were married (Matthew 8:14, 1
Corinthians 9:5), so marriage is compatible with committed service to God.

In Genesis chapter 2, God declares it is not good for Adam (the first man) to live alone. All the
animals are there, but none of them are a suitable partner for Adam. God, therefore, in a special
act of creation, makes a woman. Just a few verses later, the woman is called “his wife” (Genesis
2:25). Eden was the scene of the first marriage, ordained by God Himself. The author of Genesis
then records the standard by which all future marriages are defined: “A man leaves his father and
mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

This passage of Scripture gives several points for understanding God’s design for marriage.
1. First, marriage involves a man and a woman. The Hebrew word for “wife” is gender-
specific; it cannot mean anything other than “a woman.” There is no passage in Scripture
that mentions a marriage involving anything other than a man and a woman. It is
impossible for a family to form or human reproduction to take place asexually. Since God
ordained sex to only take place between a married couple, it follows that God’s design is
for the family unit to be formed when a man and woman come together in a sexual
relationship and have children.

2. The second principle from Genesis 2 about God’s design for marriage is that marriage is
intended to last for a lifetime. Verse 24 says the two become “one flesh.” Eve was taken
from Adam’s side, and so she was literally one flesh with Adam. Her very substance was
formed from Adam instead of from the ground. Every marriage thereafter is intended to
reflect the unity shared by Adam and Eve. Because their bond was “in the flesh,” they
were together forever. There was no escape clause written into the first marriage that
allowed for the two to separate. That is to say that God designed marriage for life. When
a man and a woman make a commitment to marry, they “become one flesh,” and that is
why they say, “Till death do us part.”

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 3. A third principle from this passage about God’s design for marriage is monogamy. The
Hebrew words for “man” and “wife” are singular and do not allow for multiple wives.
Even though some people in Scripture did have multiple wives, it is clear from the
creation account that God’s design for marriage was one man and one woman. Jesus
emphasized this principle when He appealed to the Genesis account to counter the idea of
easy divorce (Matthew 19:4—6).

Early in Genesis we find God’s design for marriage (Gen. 2:18-25). This text describing
the original marriage is the basis for almost everything else the Bible says about
marriage. It explains God’s reason for designing marriage and also gives us many
principles which, if applied, will enable us to build marriages which honor God and bring
lasting joy to us.

4. The text teaches us that: God designed marriage to meet our need for companionship and
to provide an illustration of our relationship with Him.
The name used for God, translated “LORD [Yahweh] God” (2:18, 19, 21, 22) emphasizes
His covenant relationship with His people. Genesis 1 refers to God as “Elohim,”
emphasizing His power as the Creator. Genesis 2 refers to Him as the LORD God,
showing that the powerful Creator is also the personal God who cares for His creatures.
This caring, personal God knew that the man He created had a need, and so He took
action to meet that need.

God designed marriage to meet the human need for companionship.

When you read Genesis 1 & 2, the words of 2:18 comes out loud and clear: “It is not
good for the man to be alone.” Throughout chapter one, God surveys His work and
pronounces it good (1:10, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31). This is the first time God says that
something in His creation is not good: “It is not good for the man to be alone.”

5. Companionship requires that marriage be a permanent and exclusive relationship. This

follows from it being the primary relationship. Your children are with you in the home
a few years; your partner is with you for life. “Cleave” means to cling to, to hold to, as
bone to skin. It means to be glued to something--so when you get married, you’re stuck!
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 After Jesus quoted this verse, He added, “What therefore God has joined together, let no
man separate” (Matt. 19:6).

6. God is not opposed to our enjoyment of sex within marriage. He designed it and gave it
to Adam and Eve. One can therefore safely say that this account of the first marriage also
plainly teaches that God designed marriage to include sex. Many Christians have ungodly
notions about sex and some wrongly think that it was the original sin.

In summary, God acknowledges our need not only for fellowship with Him, but also with a
life partner. This is not to say that every person needs to be married. Everyone spends many
years of life as a single person. God has called some to remain single (1 Cor. 7:7-9). Nor is it
to say that marriage will meet all our needs for companionship. Married people need friends
of the same sex. But it is to say that a main reason God designed marriage was to meet the
human need for companionship.

GOD DESIGNED MARRIAGE TO MEET OUR NEED FOR COMPANIONSHIP.

Verse 24 is Moses’ commentary (Adam didn’t have a father and mother to leave). “For this
reason” means, “Because of the way God designed marriage from the start, because the woman
is bone of man’s bone and flesh of his flesh, these things hold true.” He shows that to fulfill our
need for companionship, marriage must be a primary, permanent, exclusive, and intimate
relationship.

Companionship requires that marriage be a primary relationship. God did not create a father and
mother for Adam, nor a child, but a wife. A man must leave father and mother in order to cleave
to his wife to establish a one flesh relationship. This means that the marriage relationship is
primary, not the parent-child relationship. The parent child relationship must be altered before
the marriage relationship can be established. The cord must be cut. This doesn’t mean
abandoning parents or cutting off contact with them. But it does mean that a person needs
enough emotional maturity to break away from dependence upon his parents to enter marriage.
And parents need to raise their children with a view to releasing them.

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It also means that if a couple builds their marriage around their children, or as more frequently
happens, the husband builds his life around his job while the wife builds her life around the
children, they are heading for serious problems when it’s time for the nest to empty. It is not
helping the children, either. The best way to be a good parent to your children is to be a good
husband to their mother or a good wife to their father. Marriage must be primary.

Companionship requires that marriage be a permanent relationship. This follows from it being
the primary relationship. Your children are with you in the home a few years; your partner is
with you for life. “Cleave” means to cling to, to hold to, as bone to skin. It means to be glued to
something--so when you get married, you’re stuck! After Jesus quoted this verse, He added,
“What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matt. 19:6).

This means that the marriage relationship must be built primarily on commitment, not on
feelings of romantic love. Romantic love is important, but the foundation of marriage is a
commitment of the will. It is a covenant before God (Mal. 2:14; Prov. 2:17). Commitment is
what holds a couple together through the difficulties that invariably come. A Christian couple
should never use the threat of divorce as leverage in a conflict.

Companionship requires that marriage be an exclusive relationship. The text says, “To his wife,”
not “wives” Monogamy is God’s design: One man, one woman for life. Although God tolerated
polygamy in Old Testament times, it was not His original intention. God easily could have
created many wives for Adam, but He did not. One man, one woman, for life--that’s God’s
design.

This means that when you get married, you give up close friendships with women other than
your wife. You give up your freedom to go out with the guys whenever you choose. You have a
new relationship with your wife; she is now your first priority in terms of human relationships. If
you can’t handle that, you aren’t mature enough for the demands of marriage.

Companionship requires that marriage be an intimate relationship. “And they shall become one
flesh.” One flesh emphasizes the sexual union (1 Cor. 6:16). But the sexual union is always more
than just physical. There is relational and emotional oneness as well. Most sexual problems in
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marriage stem from a failure of total person intimacy. Sexual harmony must be built on the
foundation of a primary, permanent, exclusive relationship that is growing in trust, openness, and
oneness. God made us that way.

GOD DESIGNED MARRIAGE TO PROVIDE AN ILLUSTRATION OF OUR

RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
The Bible says that God created marriage for a purpose bigger than itself: Marriage is a picture
of the believer’s relationship with God. After discussing marriage and quoting Genesis 2:24,
Paul writes, “This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church”
(Eph. 5:32). Marriage is an earthly picture of the spiritual relationship that exists between Christ,
the bridegroom, and the church, His bride. The consummation of a marriage is referred to in the
Bible as a man knowing his wife; even so, we can know Christ our bridegroom. A husband and
wife are one flesh; we are one spirit with the Lord (1 Cor. 6:17). Just as the church is to be
subject to Christ, so the wife is to be subject to her husband. Just as Christ loves the church, so a
husband is to love his wife. Just as the marital union results in children, so the union of the Lord
and His church is to result in many offspring, to God’s glory.

Family
The family of Biblical times had the husband as "lord" of the household and the wife as his
helper. The husband worked diligently to provide material needs and protection while the wife
worked diligently at domestic chores. In this New Testament passage, the need for a strong,
healthy marriage is expressed in terms of the idealized family of the ancient world: Wives, in the
same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they
may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and
reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided
hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self,
the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. Husbands,
in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the
weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your
prayers. (NIV, 1 Peter 3:1-4, 7)

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Contemporary marriages may follow the Biblical model or may be quite different. Regardless of
how we divide the roles and responsibilities in our marriages, though, we must be sure the
marriage fulfils its essential family functions and provides a loving environment for children to
grow into responsible adults.

Sex
Sex is a wholesome and normal part of a marriage relationship, and it is for pleasure as well as
for reproduction (Genesis 2:24, 18:9-12, Proverbs 5:15-19, Song of Songs 4:1-16). The apostle
Paul said neither husband nor wife should deny sexual pleasure to the other:

The husband should fulfil his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfil her husband's needs.
The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his
body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain
from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer.
Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of
your lack of self-control. (NLT, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

The Bible does not give any rules for how sex should be practiced between husband and wife
except for a prohibition against sex during menstruation – a woman's period of "uncleanness."
(Leviticus 18:19). Old Testament rules about unclean foods and practices are not binding on
Christians (Mark 7:1-5, 7:14-23, Romans 14:13-14). Of course, that does not imply that an
abusive, exploitative or non-consensual act would be acceptable. Those things are prohibited by
other Bible teachings.

Remarriage After Death of a Spouse

After a husband or wife dies, the Bible permits remarriage to another, and it is even encouraged
in some cases (Romans 7:1-3, 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, 7:39, 1 Timothy 5:14).

Divorce and Remarriage

Biblical Grounds for Divorce
In the Old Testament Law, a man was allowed to divorce his wife if he found something
indecent about her (Deuteronomy 24:1-4), but wives did not have the same privilege. Jesus saw
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the injustice and pain of divorce, though, and said that neither husband nor wife should separate
from the other (Matthew 5:31-32, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18). Jesus also said that remarriage
after divorce constitutes adultery:

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife
for any and every reason?" "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator
'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother
and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one.
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." "Why then," they asked, "did
Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus
replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was
not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual
immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." (Matthew 19:3-9)

The word translated in the passage above as "sexual immorality" was porneia in the original
Greek Bible text. It means illicit sexual intercourse, including adultery, incest, etc. As quoted in
Matthew, sexual immorality by one partner is sufficient reason for divorce, but it does not
require divorce. In many cases the husband and wife can be reconciled even after adultery. As
quoted in Mark and Luke (Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18), Jesus did not mention sexual immorality
as grounds for divorce.

No other grounds for divorce are mentioned in the New Testament. The New Testament teaches
strongly that marriage should be a lifelong commitment. Things such as lack of commitment,
different values/beliefs, in-law problems, stress, incompatibility, lack of concern/consideration,
sexual problems, growing apart, illness, incapacity, boredom, sexual desires, desire for happiness
or other reasons are not Biblical grounds for divorce.

Lasting Damage of Divorce

Divorce is a genuine tragedy.
1. It often leaves the marriage partners embittered, disillusioned and financially poorer.
2. It robs the children of the love and security of a healthy family and denies them a good
role model for their own future marriages.
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 3. Young children may react to divorce by becoming more aggressive and uncooperative or
by withdrawing. Older children may feel deep sadness and loss
4. Children from families where there is conflict and/or divorce are more prone to anxiety,
poor school performance, drug abuse and delinquent behavior. These problems can
persist into adulthood.
5. Adult children of divorced parents tend to have lower educational attainment, lower
income, more children out of wedlock, higher rates of divorce themselves, and a lower
sense of well-being.

Other Reasons for Divorce

Unfortunately, some marriages cannot be saved. A viable marriage is a contract of mutual
support, love and respect: However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,
and the wife must respect her husband. (NIV, Ephesians 5:33)
1. If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he
has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (NIV, 1 Timothy 5:8)
2. If an unbeliever abandons the marriage, the other partner is freed from the marriage bond
(1 Corinthians 7:15).

3. The Bible does not have a specific teaching about other intolerable situations. But if one
partner seriously violates the marriage contract, as by physical/emotional/sexual abuse,
illegal activity, financial irresponsibility, etc., the marriage contract has been unilaterally
broken. The other partner must take whatever actions are necessary to escape from the
situation and to protect self and children.
In all situations, reconciliation is preferable, but if that is not possible, different church
denominations have different procedures for formally ending the marriage.

Facts the Bible Tells Us about Marriage:

a) Marriage is an indissoluble relationship except on the highest grounds (Matthew 19:9).
b) Monogamous relationship between husband and wife as stated in the original law
(Matthew 19:5, 1 Corinthians 6:16).
c) Husband and wife are equal before God (Ephesians 5:29-31, 1 Peter 3:7).
d) The relationship is to reflect the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27).
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 e) Husband is the loving head of relationship and wife is subordinate (1 Corinthians 11:8-9,
1 Timothy 2:13, Ephesians 5:21-33, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:1-6).
f) The relationship is fruitful (Genesis 1:28a).

In summary, we can see that marriage is an intimate and complementing union between a man
and a woman in which the two become one physically, in the whole of life. The purpose of
marriage is to reflect the relationship of the Godhead and to be a source of comfort to the
couples. Although the fall has marred the divine purpose and function of marriage, this definition
reflects the God-ordained ideal for marriage from the beginning.

Worldview versus Biblical View of Marriage – How is the Bible’s view of marriage different
than what the world says?
1. Lie 1: “If you’re not compatible, you may have married the wrong person.”
God’s truth says that marriage is a covenant relationship. Once you choose to marry, it’s
no longer up for debate as to whether your spouse is the “right one.” Marriage makes
them the right one, for it’s a commitment before God. It’s never to be based on shifting
feelings, but a choice every day to love the spouse you’ve chosen to marry. In a world
that often prefers to “trade in for an updated version,” this truth doesn’t make sense. But
according to God’s Word it’s very clear.
"Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." (Mark 10:9)
2. Lie 2: “If you’re not happy, don’t stay in an unhappy situation. You deserve more.”
For many of us, marriage can tend to bring our selfishness out like nothing else. We want
our way. We insist on our rights. We want our spouse to make us happy, and right now!
In the midst of demands, we’ll never be free to truly love and serve one another. Our
focus will tend to be one-sided – our side – and what we want. Yet God’s goal for
marriage was not just to “make us happy.” The truest picture of marriage is that it
symbolizes the love of Christ for us. And His desire for us all is that we be made more
into the image of Himself.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does
not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of
wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)
3. Lie 3: Marriage is a 50/50 relationship
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 Marriage takes two people, fully committed, choosing every day, to love and cherish.
50/50 will never be enough to see you through the toughest times. It’s only half effort and
it seeks to compare what we’re doing with the other, always needing to check to see if
they’re keeping up with expectations. This isn’t what God intends. His plan is covenant
relationship, centered in Christ, loving through Christ; that is what will carry us through
both good times and bad. It will take full effort of 100/100 to have a strong relationship
which will thrive over time.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never
fails…” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8)

What does the Bible say about sex in marriage?

In this over-sexed and under-loved world, people are looking for the real deal, the secret to
lasting love with a vibrant sex life. Because of this pursuit for a purer passion, the most asked
question is, “What is okay with God?”

First and foremost, sex is for marriage. Ephesians 5:31-32 (quoting Genesis) "For this reason a
man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh." 1 Thessalonians 4:3–8 reinforces this with the reminder, “It is God’s will that you keep
away from sexual sin as a mark of your devotion to him” (1 Thessalonians 4:3, GW).

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