Emotional blackmail by susan forward pdf

Emotional blackmail definition and examples. Emotional blackmail examples. Emotional blackmail types.

Jump to ratings and reviewsEmotional blackmail is a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us for not doing what they want. Emotional blackmailers know how much we value our relationships with them. They know our vulnerabilities and our deepest secrets. They can be our parents or partners, bosses or coworkers, friends or lovers. And no matter how much they care about us, they use this intimate knowledge to win the pay-off they want: our compliance.In Emotional Blackmail, bestselling author Susan Forward
dissects the anatomy of a relationship damaged by manipulation to give blackmail targets the tools they need to fight back. In a clear, no-nonsense style, she outlines the specific steps readers can take, offering checklists, practice scenarios, and concrete communications techniques that will strengthen relationships and break the blackmail cycle for good. One of the nation’s leading therapists, as well as a best selling author, dynamic lecturer and frequent talk-show guest. In addition to her private practice, she has served as a therapist, instructor and
consultant for many Southern California psychiatric and medical facilities. She is the author of the #1 New York Times best sellers Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them and Toxic Parents. She also hosted her own nationally syndicated program on ABC Talk Radio for six years.from 1 - 30 of 351 reviewsJanuary 12, 2013This extremely straight forward book is an absolute MUST READ. My husband's mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and has been emotionally blackmailing him and his siblings for YEARS. I picked up on it
pretty quickly, but didn't know how to handle her attempts to control me, my relationship with her son, or my decisions in raising our daughters without getting extremely angry and lashing out. I knew that there was a better way to deal with this woman, without letting everything she said get under my skin, but I was at a loss as to how to go about handling her.

After several google searches I decided that if I couldn't fix HER, I could at least get some therapy for myself (his mother is THAT BAD). My therapist actually suggested this book and I have highlighted, underlined and written side notes throughout the entire book. I have recommended this to many of my friends, bought it for a few others, and happily loaned it out to friends. My original copy is dogeared and worn out, but it's such an awesome book that I currently own it in three forms: Kindle, Nook, and three physical copies (and I pick up more every time I
pass on one of the books to a friend, just to ensure that they have plenty of time to read through it and can keep it as long as they desire.)I strongly suggest this book to anyone and everyone with a pulse.
You may not have a narcissistic mother-in-law, but I promise, you probably know a few people who are emotional blackmailers. This book will help you recognize it, address it and if need be, learn how to cut off communication with that person. June 4, 2023‫ﻫﻞ ﻳﻤﻜﻦ إﻧﻬﺎء اﻟﻠﻌﺒﺔ ﻣﻦ ﻃﺮف اﻟﻤﺴﺘﻬﺪف ؟ أﺟﻞ‬...‫ وﺑﺎﻟﺮﻏﻢ ﻣﻦ اﻻدراك ﺑﺎﻟﺼﻮت اﻟﺪاﺧﻠﻲ اﻟﺬي ﻳﺮى اﻟﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ إﻻ إﻧﻪ ﻳﻐﻔﻞ اﻻﻧﺼﺎت ﻟﻪ‬، ‫ﺗﺘﺬﺑﺬب اﻟﺒﻮﺻﻠﺔ اﻟﺪاﺧﻠﻴﺔ ﻟﻠﻘﻴﻢ اﻷﺧﻼﻗﻴﺔ‬...‫ﻳ ُﺴﻠﺐ اﻻﺣﺴﺎس ﺑﺎﻟﻨﺰاﻫﺔ‬...‫ﻳﻔﺘﻘﺪ اﻻﺣﺴﺎس ﺑﺎﻟﺜﻘﺔ واﻻﻣﺎن‬..‫ﻣﺤﺒﻂ‬ ٌ ...‫ﻣﻜﺘﺌﺐ‬ ُ ..‫ﺧﺎﺋﻒ‬..‫ﻣﺬﻋﻦ‬ ُ ..‫ﺿﻌﻴﻒ‬..‫ ﻳﺸﻌﺮ اﻟﻤﺴﺘﻬﺪف ﺑﺄﻧﻪ ﻋﺎﺟﺰ‬،‫ﻓﻲ ﺧﻀﺎم ﺗﻠﻚ اﻟﻤﺄﺳﺎة وﻣﻊ ﺗﻜﺮارﻫﺎ‬....‫ﺗﻮﺟﻴﻪ اﻟﺘﻬﺪﻳﺪات واﻻﻧﺘﻘﺎدات اﻟﺴﻠﺒﻴﺔ وﻓﺮض اﻟﻌﻘﻮﺑﺎت‬
‫ﻟﻚ‬...September
‫ﻫﻰ ﺗﺴﺘﺤﻖ ذ‬...‫ﻚ‬ 11, ‫ﻲﻣﺤﺎ ً ﻣﻊ ﻧ‬
‫ﻔﺴ‬2019" ‫ﺴﺎ‬‫ﻃﻔ‬‫نﺰارزﻓﻴاﻟﻘﺎﻌًﺎﻣﺘ‬
‫فةﺗ اﻜﻻﻮﺑﺘ‬
‫ﻇﺎﺮﻫﺮ‬ ..ً ‫ﺮأةﺧﻴوﺮﻫا‬..‫ﻫ‬.‫ﻈﺎﺰ‬
‫ﺗﻌ‬.‫ﻲ‬ ‫ﻤﺒﺘ‬
ُ‫ﺬهاﻟاﻟ‬
‫ﺲ‬‫بﻟﻴوﻫ‬‫فو‬ ‫ﺴاﺘﻬاﻟﺪﻜﺘﺎ‬
‫ﻲﻴﺎاﻟﻛﻤﻬﺬ‬‫ﻋﺎﻓﻟﻤ‬
‫ﻖﺎﺑﺘوﻌﺎ‬
‫ﻋﻠﺮﺑﻴ‬
‫ﺤﻠﺰﻴاﻼتتﺗﺘﻌ‬
‫ﻤﻟﻌﺘﺠ‬ ‫تاﻟوا‬ ‫ﺿ ﺑﺮﺄان‬
‫تﻲواأﻟﺧﻤﺒﺤﺮﺎك‬ ‫ﺷﻴﺎﺪﺗ‬
‫ﻲﻟﻨﻳﺎﻘﺎﺳ‬
‫ﻦا‬‫ﻋﻴﻨ‬
‫ﺮدﻣ‬..‫ﻴ‬.‫تﺜ‬
‫ﻲ ﻓﻣﻠﻌﻜﺠﻪﺰاﻟﻜ‬
‫ى ﻛإﺘﻧﺎﻪﺑﺎﻗﺗﺪﺪ ﺗورﺤﺪﻓث‬
‫ﺟﺪ‬‫ﻢواﺗﺮ‬..‫ﻟ‬.‫ﻲ‬
‫ﻲﻟﻠاﺘﻟﻌﻮﺎاﻓﻗﻊ‬ .‫ﻻ ًاﻟوﺦ‬.‫ﺎ‬.‫ﻌ‬.‫ﻤﺎ ًﻞﻓ‬
ً ‫ﺳﺒوﻴﻓﻼ‬ ‫ز ﻳ ُﻣﻌﻼﺪء اﻋﻟﻼﻌﺟ‬،‫فو‬
‫ﺻﺘﺪﻬﻗﺪﺎء‬
‫ﺔ ﻟوﻠاﻤﻷﺴ‬
‫ﻃﺎﻔﺋﻠﻲ‬
‫ﺴﺎﺬرﻣاﺎﻟ ﻳﺴﺮﻠﻳﻮﺪﻛوﻲﺻوﻮاﻟﻻﻌﻟﺎﻠﻌ‬
‫ﻰﺎ ﺗﺑﺒﻐﻴﻜﻴﺎﺋﺮﻪا ﻟﻴﻤﺄﺧ‬
‫ﻞ ﻳﺒﻋﺘﻠﺰﻧ‬
‫ﻃﻴﻔﺮﻠﻨاﺎﻟﺪاﻟﻓﺎﺼﻋﻐﻴﻴﺔﺮﻟاﻠﻟﻌﺬﻤي‬
‫ﻞﻏ‬‫ﺻﻦ‬
‫تﺎ اﺑﻟﺘﺪءﻮا ﻣ‬
‫ﺿاﺪﻧ‬
‫سﻬﺎر‬
‫ﻦﻣ‬
‫ﻲدﺗﻤﻣﺎر‬
‫ﻃﻮﺮﻋﺣﺔﻬﺎا ﻟﺘﻌﺪ‬
‫ﺴاﻴزﺔ اﻟوﻤﺘﻨ‬
‫ﻜﺎﻌﺗﻨﺒﺎﺔوﻛﻣﻤﻈﻌﺎﻟﻫﺠﺮﺔا ﻧﻻﺑﻔﺘﺰ‬
‫ت اوﻟاﻗ‬
‫ﺼﻮﺣراﻮل‬
‫لﺪﺗﻳﻨﺎ‬
‫ﺮﻟ‬
‫رﻣةﻦاﻛﺧﺜﻼ‬.‫ﻮ‬.‫ﺼ‬
‫ﺢﻴاﺮﻟ ؟‬
‫ﻀﺘﻐ‬
‫نﻳ‬‫ﺮ أﻟﺘﺘ‬
‫ﻈى‬‫ﺧﺮ‬
‫ن أﺗﻨﺘ‬
‫ﻦﻻأت‬
‫ثﻒﻋﻳﻦﻤﻜﺣﺎ‬
‫ﺤ؟ﺪﻛﻴ‬..‫ﺗﺘ‬.‫ﺮ‬
‫ﺔﺧﻟﻪ‬
‫ﻤﻵ‬‫ﻋا‬
‫تﺮداف‬
‫ﺸﺎﺤرﺎﻛﺿﺔﺮااﻟﻄ‬
‫ﻣﻣ‬‫ﻀوﻮر‬
‫ﻃﺤﻒ‬
‫جﻟ‬
‫ﻞﻳ اﺤﻟﺘﺘﺎﻌﺎ‬
‫ﻢﻦﺟ أﺪاﺟ و‬
‫ أﻣوﻬ ﻣ‬،‫ﺸﺎﻮﻳﻋﺔﺮ اﻛﺎﻷﻟﻣﻜﺘﻮﺎرب‬
‫ﻣﺴ‬‫ب وﺗ‬
‫ض‬ ‫ﺴﺎ‬
‫ﺣﺎو‬
‫ﻰﻟﺘﻔ‬
‫نﺎﺑﻋﻞﻠ ا‬
‫ﺴﻌوﺪاﻟهﺘﺤوﻟﻜﻮﻢﻛﺎﻣﻘ‬
‫نﻘﺗﻮة‬
‫كﺰأ اﻟ‬
‫ﺴﻌﻣﺪﺮﻛ‬
‫ﻰ وﻋﻳﻦ‬
‫سﺘ إﺨﻟﻴﻠﻚ‬
‫ﻟاﻟﻤﻨﺎﺎذا ﻳ‬.‫ﺐ‬
..‫س اﻻﺑﻫﺘﺘﺰﻤاﺎزمﻣاﻟﻦﺪاأﺋﺣﻢ‬
‫ﺮﻜوﻮﺗﺒنﻘﻴﻣﻪﻦﻫ ﻳﻮﻤﺎﻣرﺮﻛﺰ‬
‫ﺧﻟ‬‫فﻌاﺎﻵدة‬
‫ﺸﻄﻪﺮﺑﺴ‬
‫ﺦﺎﻧرﺎوﺗاﺑﺸﻂﻌﺮﻗ ﺑﻮﻳﻪﺔوﺗﻣﻌﻊﺎﻳاﻟ‬
‫ﺳﺣﻴ‬
‫ﺬﻟﺗﻜﺮﻮأ‬
‫ﻣﻌﺜﺒﺮﻄﺑﺔ‬
ُ‫ﺸ‬
‫ﺳﺎﻠﺒﻴﻻﺔﺗ و‬
‫ﺸﺎﻚﻋﺮﻏﺎﻟﺒ‬
‫ﻣ أﻧ‬
‫نﻠﻐﻣﺮﻦاﺑﺔ‬
‫ﻃﻔﻛﻴﺎﻮﻟ‬
‫ضﻮﻟنﻼﺑﻟﺘﻠﺰﻐاﺎﻳزﺔاﻟوﻌإﺎن‬
‫ﺸﺤ‬
‫ﻣﺮ‬‫ﻖﺎرﻣﻨةﺎخﻣﺘﻌ‬
‫نﺒﺘﺧﺰﻠ وﺗ‬
‫ﺖﻣﺗﺎﻦر ﺑةﺄ ﻣ‬
‫ﻳﺆ‬.‫ﻧ‬.‫ﺧﺮﻓﺄ‬
‫لﻵﺑﻪ‬
‫فا‬
‫ﻄﻔﺮﻌﻮ‬
‫ﻲﻌﻼﻛﻗﻔﺎﺔﻋﻣﻞﻊ أاوﻟ ﻣ‬
‫ﺼ ﻳﺪﻮعﻣاﻟ‬
‫ﺐﺸوﻜﻳﻞ‬
‫ﺤﺑ‬‫ﻚﺎ ﺑنﻞﺷوﻴﺗﺌﺎﻤًﺎﻣرﺎﺳﻳﻪﺼأﺪﺣاﻴﻟﺎﻧﺎ‬
‫تﺑ‬
‫ﺶﺤﺎﻣﻌ‬
‫يﻳ ﺗﻌﻠﻴﻤﻴ‬
‫ﺐﻚأ و‬
‫ﺑ‬
2/8/2018‫ اﻟﻤﻘﺼﻮد ﺑﺠﻠﺴﺎت اﻟﺪﻋﻢ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺬه اﻟﻤﺮاﺟﻌﺔ ﻫﻮ ﻫﺬا اﻟﻜﺘﺎب‬:‫ﻣﻠﺤﻮﻇﺔ‬.‫ ﺗﻜﻮن ﺻﺎدﻗًﺎ‬،‫ت ﺣﻴﺎﺗﻲ‬ ِ ‫ﻓﻲ ﻫﺬه اﻟﻠﺤﻈﺎت ﺣﻴﻦ ﺗﻘﻮل؛ ﺷﻜًﺮا ﺳﻮزان ﻟﻘﺪ ﻏﻴﺮ‬.‫ اﻟﺤﻔﺎظ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻧﺰاﻫﺘﻨﺎ وﻛﺮاﻣﺘﻨﺎ ﺑﻤﺎ ﺗﻌﻠﻤﻨﺎه ﻓﻲ ﻃﺮﻳﻖ اﻟﻌﻼج‬-‫اﻟﻨﺘﻴﺠﺔ‬international-words ‫اﻟﺬات‬-‫ اﻟﻨﻔﻴﺲ ﺗﻄﻮﻳﺮ‬January 5, 20202.‫ اﻻﺣﺘﻴﺎج اﻟﻤﻔﺮط ﻟﻨﻴﻞ رﺿﺎ اﻵﺧﺮﻳﻦ‬.1 :‫ز‬. ‫* اﻟﺴﻤﺎت اﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﺠﻌﻠﻨﺎ ﻋﺮﺿﺔ ﻟﻼﺑﺘﺰا‬.‫ﺻﺎ أﻓﻀﻞ وﻳﻌﻠﻤﻮﻫﻢ دروس��ا ﻣﺴﺘﻔﺎدة‬ ً ‫* ﻳﻌﺘﻘﺪ اﻟﻤﺒﺘﺰون أن اﻟﻌﻘﺎب ﺳﻴﻘﻮّم ﺷﺨﺼﻴﺔ اﻟﺸﺮﻳﻚ ﻟﺬﻟﻚ ﻓﻬﻢ ﻻ ﻳﺸﻌﺮون ﺑﺎﻟﺬﻧﺐ أو ﺗﺄﻧﻴﺐ اﻟﻀﻤﻴﺮ وﻟﻜﻦ ﻳﺸﻌﺮون ﺑﺎﻟﻔﺨﺮ ﻷﻧﻬﻢ ﻳﺠﻌﻠﻮن ﻣﻦ ﺷﺮﻛﺎؤﻫﻢ أﺷﺨﺎ‬.‫* ﻳ ُﻌﺪ اﺳﺘﺨﺪام اﻷﻃﻔﺎل ﻛﺴﻼح ﺿﺪ أﺣﺪ اﻟﻮاﻟﺪﻳﻦ اﻟﺬي ﻟﻢ ﻳ ُﻤﻨﺢ ﺣﻖ اﻟﺤﻀﺎﻧﺔ ﻣﻦ أﻗﺪم وأﻗﺴﻰ أﺷﻜﺎل اﻻﺑﺘﺰاز اﻟﻌﺎﻃﻔﻲ‬.‫ﻬﻢ ﻣﻦ ﺗﻘﻠﻴﺺ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮ اﻟﺨﺴﺎرة ﻟﺪﻳﻬﻢ‬
‫ت‬6.
‫ﻦﺬا‬
‫ﺮﻳاﻟ‬
‫صﻵﻣﺧﻦ‬
‫ﺴ ﻳﻬﻨﻮﺒﻟﻐﺔﻲإﻟﻋﻰﻦاﻧﺘﺣﻴﻘﺎة ا‬
‫ﺤﺜﻮﺮلﻣﺑﻤﺎ‬
‫تﻳﺘأﻛ‬
‫ﻦﻟﻴأﺎن‬ ‫ﺴﻜﺌﻮ‬ ‫ﻲ ﻳﻣﻤ‬‫ﺤﻞ‬ ‫ﺼﻤ‬
‫ﻞاﺗإﻟﻲﻰاﻟﺗﺤ‬ ‫ﻢﻤاﻴﻟﺬ‬‫ﻴﻴاﻟ‬.‫ﻘ‬5.‫ﻦﻟﺘ‬
‫ﻦا‬ ‫يﻜﺛﻤ‬‫ﺑﺄوﻟ‬.‫ﻄﻨﺎﺔء‬
‫ﻄﻷﻤﺧﺄﻧﻴ‬‫ﺐﻟ ا‬
‫ﻰا‬‫نجﻧ إﺮﻟﺗﻜ‬‫ﻻدﺣﺘأﻴﺎ‬
‫ﻮار‬.‫ﻟ‬4.
‫ﻦا‬‫ﻀﻣﺐ‬‫ﺴﻳﻨﺎﺪ ﻣﻣﺜﺎﻦﻟﻴاﻴﻟﻦﻐ و‬
‫ﺸﺪ‬ ‫فﻧﻨاﺎﻟ ﻟ‬
‫فأ‬
‫ﺨﻮ‬ ‫ﻧﻌاﺘﻟﺮ‬.3‫ن‬.‫أ‬..October
(‫ﻲ‬‫ﺤﻨﻲ‬
‫سﺼﻋ‬ ‫ﻦﺎ اﻟ‬
‫ﻣﻟﻨ‬‫ ا‬7,
‫ﻮ*ل‬.(2021It
‫ﺲﻘ‬
‫فﻳ‬ ‫ﺳﺎﻟﻮﻨﻔ‬
‫ﺔ ﺑ‬took
‫ﻣﺜﺎذﻘا‬
‫م) اﻟ‬me
‫سﺪ‬
‫ﻨﺎ)ﻋ‬a‫ت‬
‫ اﻟ‬while
‫ﻞ‬
‫ﻲﻓاﻟﻌﺬا‬‫دﻓة‬to
‫ﻦﻚر‬get‫ﺸ‬‫ﻦفاﻟﻣ‬ through
‫لﺨﻣﻮ‬ ‫ﻮى ﻋﺎ ا ًﻟ‬this
‫ ﻣﺴﺘ‬book. because I wanted to make sure to really absorb it (including using a highlighter and taking notes). I have a family member who is very manipulative and I know I have to change the way I deal with them rather than trying to change them. Now that I've finished the book, I feel better equipped to handle the ridiculous requests / demands that I've come to expect from this person. I know that it will be
uncomfortable and a bit scary to break the familiar cycle but I know I need to protect myself. I really hope the skills taught in this book will give me the strength I need in this resolve.read-again relationships review-wroteFebruary 12, 2021Prieš atsiversdama knygą, buvau tikra, kad mano aplinkoje emocinio šantažo nėra. Deja, iš čia pateiktų pavyzdžių, naujomis akimis pažvelgiau į kitų žmonių, taip pat ir savo elgesį, ir įsitikinau, koks subtilus ir užslėptas šantažas gali būti, ir kiek daug egzistuoja emocinio manipuliavimo formų. Garsi psichologė, mokslų daktarė
S.

Forward, šioje knygoje nuodugniai išaiškina kas yra emocinis šantažas ir kodėl žmonės jam pasiduoda. Ji gilinasi į šantažuotojo psichologiją, pateikia pavyzdžius, kaip jie pasitelkia baimės, pareigos ir kaltės jausmus ir nurodo priežastis, kas skatina juos taip elgtis. Taip pat atskleidžia, koks yra mūsų, šantažuojamųjų indėlis į tokius santykius. Tiesa yra ta, kad vyktų šantažas, reikia dviejų žmonių. Emocinio manipuliavimo kaina yra labai didelė: mažėja mūsų savivertė ir pasitikėjimas, pažeidžiamas vidinis integralumas. Todėl savo, bei kitų gerovės labui, privalome
jį sustabdyti. „Nelengva pripažinti, kad, nusileisdami šantažuotojų reikalavimams, juos mokome mus šantažuoti.”Daug paprasčiau kęsti šantažą, nei imtis pokyčių. Tačiau vien suvokti, kad esame šantažuojami, nepakanka ir reikia imtis veiksmų. Autorė ragina keistis mums patiems, o ne keisti kitą žmogų ir atsikratyti aukos vaidmens, bei prisiimti atsakomybę už savo gyvenimą ir elgesį. Ji pateikia įvairius klausimų sąrašus, pratimus, praktinius scenarijų aprašymus, konkrečius bendravimo būdus ir metodus, kuriuos tobulino per 25 savo darbo metus. Tai jau
antroji S. Forward knyga, kurią perskaičiau (pirmoji buvo „Mamos, nemokančios mylėti”). Knyga, iš tiesų smarkiai praplečianti akiratį ir padedanti išsilaisvinti iš emocinio manipuliavimo gniaužtų. Joje pateiktos įkvepiančios istorijos iš realių žmonių gyvenimų, kuriems pavyko įveikti emocinį šantažą ir pakeisti savo gyvenimą. Jeigu kremtatės, kad vis nusileidžiate kitų reikalavimams, nepakovojote už save, jaučiatės išnaudojami – nuoširdžiai rekomenduoju perskaityti. 13, 2013Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but ideally we will negotiate to a win-win
solution. Manipulators fight dirty. They make demands, and if you resist they respond with pressure, guilt trips, and threats.I was disappointed with part II of the book, where the author was supposed to show us how to deal with manipulators. She had some good points in there, but I don't think she really gives the reader much to go on with regard to strategies for change. She tries, but it seemed vague, nothing I could get a grip on.Anyone interested in this book should look at a less disappointing book on the same topic, titled "In Sheep's Clothing." "Who's
Pulling Your Strings?" was also worth a look.September 13, 2021‫ﺎب‬2021 ‫ﺮوا اﻟﻜﺘ‬2020
‫ﺳاﺘ اﻤﺒﻗ‬
‫ﻲﻣﻮ‬
‫عةﻻو ﺗﻓﻨﺪ‬
‫ﺿﺎﺮﻮاوء‬
‫ﻤﻮﻟﻴﻘﻌ‬
‫ﺟﻣ ا‬
‫ﻤﺪﻨﻴأﺎﺔت‬
‫ﻫﻤﺑﻴ‬.‫ﻷﺤ‬2019
‫لﻳ‬
‫رﺑﺑﺎﻨﺎ‬.‫ءﻲ‬.b-b
‫ﺳﻗﻨﺎﻓﺔ‬
‫ﻲ‬
‫ﺻﺪ‬‫بﻘ‬
‫ﺑ‬développement-personnel
‫ﻜﻨﺘاﺎﻪﻻ‬
‫ﺖ اءﻟ و‬
‫ﺷﻔﻴﺣﺒﺢﺎ‬
‫ﺮاﻗﻻ‬
‫ﻢﻮ‬
‫ﻋوﺗ‬
‫ﺗدﻢ‬.‫ﻲ‬
‫بﺆوﻛﺪأﻫﻓﻢﻜﺮﻣﺗﻨﻪ‬
‫ﻒﻳ‬‫ﻟﻗﻜﺘﺎ‬favoriteJanuary
‫ﻋﻘﺪﻧﻊﻲﻣ اﻮ‬
‫ﺳةﺎ ﻳ‬
‫ﻣﺮ‬
‫ﻞ؟‬‫ﻘﻮولﻛ ﻻ‬.‫ﻚ ﺗ‬
17,
‫ ﺑﻛﻴﺬﻟﻒ‬2021
‫ﺖ؟‬
ُ ‫ﻋﻨﺮ‬
‫ﺸآﺎﻣ‬
‫يﻟﻤﻟﻤﺎﻪ‬
‫ﻚﺪﻄاﺎﻟ‬
‫ﺼﻟ‬
.‫ﻂووواﻗﻟﺘﺗﺘﻪﻠ‬
‫ﺿﺰﻐﻪازو‬
‫ﺴﺑﺘﻘ‬
‫فﺟﻧاﻪﻻ‬
‫ض‬
‫ﺮﺗﺎﻮا‬
‫ﻒﻘ‬
‫بﻴﺔ ﻳإﻔﻳ‬
‫ﻔﻴﻛ‬.‫ﻜﻜﺎﺘﻴﺎ‬
‫صا ﻟﺑﻬ‬
‫ﺐ‬
.. ‫ﻪ‬
‫ﺳ‬
‫ﺨﺎ‬‫ﺰﺮءﺮأﻣاﻨﻟﺎﻓﻴ‬
‫ﺖﻏﺠﻳﻴُﻘ‬
‫ﻚناﻟ‬
‫بﻳﺬﻟﻜوﻮﻗ‬
‫ﺲﻛ‬‫ﻲﺎ‬
‫ﻞاﺮﺗﻳﻛﺘ‬
‫لﻟاﺑﻜﻟﻌﺬ‬
‫�ﻟﻻﻠﺑﻘﺘﺒﺰﻮاز‬
‫�ﻲ‬‫بﻃﻔ‬
‫صﻟﻌﺎ‬
‫ﺨاﺎز ا‬
‫ﻤﻴرﺔﺳﻛﺔﺎ انﻻاﺑﻟﺘﺰ‬
‫ أﻣﻫﻤﺎ‬.‫ﻞ اﻓﻷﺘﺎﻛﺜةﺮ‬
‫ﺠﻜﺰء‬
‫ﻞﻟ ﻟ‬
‫ﺼا‬‫ﺤﻲ‬
‫ﻞﺑﺎﻟﻟﻨﻲﺴوﺒﺔﻳ ﻟ‬.‫ﺼﺎ‬
‫ﻲﺳﺣﺎﺗﻨ‬
‫ﺨرﺼﻣﺄ‬
‫ﺷﺮ‬‫ﺿﻮﻻعﺗﺘﻜ‬
‫ﻣدﻊﻧﺎﻣﻛﻮﻲ‬
‫سوﻻ‬
‫ﺼﻻﻧﺪدﻪ ﺗﻳﺘﺮﺑﻤﻴﺎﺔ أ‬
.‫ﺿﻧﺎﻮﻋوﻧﻪﺤأﻳﻦﻀﺑﺎ‬
‫ﻲ واﻋﻣﺘﺒﻮﺎر‬
‫ﻀﻟﻌﻘﻪﺮاﻓءة‬
‫فا‬‫ﺐﻧﻘﻇﺮأﺮهو وﻧ‬
‫ﻦا ﻟﻫﻜﺬﻨاﻪاﻟﻣﻜﻬﺘﺎﻢبﺟ ﺑﺪاﺴأﺒن‬
ً ‫ﺮﺑﻳﺪ‬
‫ﺧا‬‫ﺴﻵﻰ‬
‫ﻦﻨﺎاﻧﺑﺎ‬
‫ﻟﻗﺎﺗ‬.‫ﺺة ﻟﻋﻪﻼ‬
‫ت ﻳﻋﺨﻮد‬
‫ﻲرﻣﺎ‬
‫ﻲ ﻓﻗﺮ‬
‫ﻃﻘﻔﻂ‬
‫ﺲﺎ ﻓ‬
‫ﺰا ﻟزﻴ اﻟﻌ‬
‫ضا اﻣﻻﺑﻔﺘﻴﺪ‬
‫ﻢﺮﺟﺪ‬
‫ﺎ ﺑبﻌﺪﻗﻴﺗﻌ‬،‫اﻟﻜﺘ‬. September 14, 2019I would like to thank my mother in law for giving me this book which helped me a lot to understand my emotional blackmail person.Before reading this book, I was devastated, confus
and respect our parents. But my mother took this as an advantage to her. She always demands from me to do things that I can't do, and if I say no she starts blackmailing me. and her famous statement "I thought you're my best daughter and the wisest one but my thought was wrong. You're so selfish, how could you do that to me. After all the things that I did for you and you repay me with this". Then she starts crying.I was in a loop. One day my mother in law saw me crying, she insisted that I tell her what happened so I told her. She listened to me carefully
then she gave me a piece of advice and this book to read it.A day after the incident I started reading it. this book helped me a lot to understand my mother, why she treated me like this and gave me methods which help how to communicate with my mother without letting her hurting me or blackmailing me. I highly recommend this book for all who are suffering from this emotional blackmail. July 13, 2021‫ﻫﻤﻪی ﻣﺎ ﮔﻬﮕﺎه اﺳﺘﺜﻤﺎر ﻣﯽﮐﻨﯿﻢ و اﺳﺘﺜﻤﺎر‬....‫ﭼﯿﺰی در زﻧﺪﮔﯽﻣﺎن ﻋﻮض ﻧﻤﯽﺷﻮد ﻣﮕﺮ آﻧﮑﻪ رﻓﺘﺎرﻣﺎن را ﻋﻮض ﮐﻨﯿﻢ‬....‫ اﻣﺎ ﻓﮑﺮ اﻧﺠﺎم دادن ﮐﺎری ﻣﺘﻔﺎوت ﺑﺮاﯾﻤﺎن ﻗﺎﺑﻞ ﻗﺒﻮل ﻧﯿﺴﺖ‬،‫اﻋﻤﺎل ﺧﻮدﻣﺎن رﻧﺞ ﺑﺒﺮﯾﻢ‬
‫ﺗﺮس از ﮐﻨﺎر ﮔﺬاﺷﺘﻪ ﺷﺪن ﻣﯽﺗﻮاﻧﺪ ﻣﺎدر ﻫﻤﻪ ﺗﺮسﻫﺎ ﺑﺎﺷﺪ‬....‫ﻫﻤﯿﺸﻪ ﺳﺎدهﺗﺮ اﺳﺖ ﮐﻪ روی رﻓﺘﺎرﻫﺎی دﯾﮕﺮان ﺗﻤﺮﮐﺰ ﮐﻨﯿﻢ و از آﻧﭽﻪ ﺧﻮدﻣﺎن وارد راﺑﻄﻪ ﻣﯽﮐﻨﯿﻢ ﻏﺎﻓﻞ ﺑﻤﺎﻧﯿﻢ‬....‫ در ﻣﺎ زﻧﺪه ﮐﻨﺪ‬،‫ﻣﺤﯿﻂ ﮐﺎر ﻣﯽﺗﻮاﻧﺪ ﺑﺴﯿﺎری از اﺣﺴﺎﺳﺎت و رواﺑﻄﯽ را ﮐﻪ در ﺧﺎﻧﻮادهﻣﺎن دارﯾﻢ‬....‫ ﺑﯽﺛﻤﺮ ﺑﻤﺎﻧﺪ‬،‫ و ﺗﺤﻘﯿﺮ ﺑﺎﻋﺚ ﻣﯽﺷﻮد اﻗﺪاﻣﺎت ﺷﻬﺎﻣﺖآﻣﯿﺰ ﻋﻀﻮی ﮐﻪ ﺑﻬﺒﻮد ﯾﺎﺑﺪ و ﺑﻪ او ﺑﺮﭼﺴﺐ ﺧﻮدﺧﻮاﻫﯽ زده ﺷﺪه اﺳﺖ‬،‫ ﻋﺪم ﺗﺄﯾﯿﺪ‬،‫ ﺗﻼﻓﯽ‬،‫ ﺗﻨﺒﯿﻪ‬،‫ﺗﻬﺪﯾﺪاﺗﯽ ﻣﺒﻨﯽ ﺑﺮ ﻃﺮد ﺧﺎﻧﻮادﮔﯽ‬....‫ ﻋﻘﺎﯾﺪ و اﻓﮑﺎر آنﻫﺎ را از ﻫﺮ ﻧﻮع اﺷﺘﺒﺎﻫﯽ ﻣﺒﺮا ﻣﯽﺳﺎزد‬،‫ اﻣﺎ ﻫﻤﻪ ﻣﺎ ﺑﺎ ﮐﺴﺎﻧﯽ از اﯾﻦ ﮔﺮوهﻫﺎ روﺑﻪرو ﺷﺪهاﯾﻢ ﮐﻪ ﺗﺼﻮر ﻣﯽﮐﻨﻨﺪ ﻣﺪرک ﺗﺤﺼﯿﻠﯽ و اﺟﺎزه ﮐﺎرﺷﺎن‬،‫ ﺗﺼﻮر ﻣﯽﮐﻨﯿﻢ ﮐﻪ آنﻫﺎ ﺑﺎ ﺻﺪاﻗﺖ و روﺷﻨﻔﮑﺮی ﺑﺎ ﻣﺎ روﺑﻪرو ﻣﯽﺷﻮﻧﺪ‬.‫ﺣﺎل آن ﮐﻪ ﮔﺎه ﺳﺰاوارش ﻧﯿﺴﺘﻨﺪ‬

‫ ﺧﻼﺻﻪ ﻛﻼم اﯾﻦ اﺳﺖ ﮐﻪ ﻫﻤﻪ ﻣﺎ دﭼﺎر اﯾﻦ ﺗﺮس ﻫﺴﺘﯿﻢ‬.‫ و ﯾﺎ ﺗﺮﮐﯿﺒﯽ از ﻫﺮ دو‬،‫ ﯾﺎ اﮐﺘﺴﺎﺑﯽ‬،‫ از ﻧﻈﺮ ﻣﻦ اﻫﻤﯿﺘﯽ ﻧﺪارد ﮐﻪ اﯾﻦ ﺗﺮس ﻏﺮﯾﺰی اﺳﺖ‬.‫ از ﺟﻤﻠﻪ ﺗﺮس از ﻋﺪم ﺗﺄﯾﯿﺪ و ﺗﺮس از ﺧﺸﻢ‬،‫ﺑﻌﻀﯽ از ﻣﺘﺨﺼﺼﺎن اﻋﺘﻘﺎد دارﻧﺪ اﯾﻦ ﺗﺮس در ژنﻫﺎﯾﻤﺎن ﺟﺎی ﮔﺮﻓﺘﻪ و ﻧﻘﻄﻪ ﻧﻬﺎﯾﯽ ﺗﻤﺎم ﺗﺮسﻫﺎی ﺣﺎﮐﻢ ﺑﺮ رواﺑﻄﻤﺎن اﺳﺖ‬.March 27, 2019Idealiame pasaulyje artimieji mūsų neskaudina, mumis nesinaudoja ir nemanipuliuoja. Deja idealus pasaulis neegzistuoja.
Patys artimiausi žmonės apie mus žino daug. Pavyzdžiui tai, kaip išnaudojant mūsų silpnąsias puses pasiekti naudos.

Galbūt negalite atsilaikyti prieš nepatenkinto asmens kankinatį tylėjimą? Gal lengvai pasiduodate kitai emocinio šantažo formai - kaltės sukėlimui? O gal tiesiog turite įtarimą, kad santykiai su artimu žmogumi nėra win - win situacija? Tuomet ši knyga kaip tik jums.Jokia paslaptis, kad knyga “Emocinis šantažas” atstovauja populiariosios psichologijos žanrą. Ką tai reiškia? Net ir laaabai mažai skaitantys ją tiesiog praris ir pasisems krūvą praktinių patarimų:-kas yra emocinis šantažas?-kodėl leidžiamės į šantažavimo spąstus?-kaip atpažinti, kad jumis
manipuliuoja?-kaip išeiti iš nepageidajamų emocinio šantažo situacijų ir t.tSusan Forward yra žodžio ir psichologijos meistrė. Atrodytų sudėtingiausias problemas dekonstruoja ir parodo išėjimą iš jų. Sprendimai išties pateikiami labai suprantama forma. Tiesiai šviesiai! Trys pagrindiniai emocinio šantažo egzistavimo ramačiai yra: baimė, pareiga ir kaltė. Būtent šiais “mygtukais” žaidžia manipuliuotojai. Autorė pateikia gyvenimiškų pavyzdžių kaip žmonės gyveno emocinio šantažo apsupty savo šeimoje, darbovietėje, draugystėse ir kaip tas situacijas išsprendė.
Neišsigąskite, kad knygos pavadinimas toks griežtas ir negalvokite, jog būsite priversti nutraukti visus disfunkcinius santykius. Susan Forward pateikia labai paprastus receptus kaip bandyti išspręsti emocinio šantažo klausimą neprarandant santykių ir tik kraštutiniu atveju, jei tikrai nieko padaryti nebegalima, siūlo tuos santykius užbaigti. Knyga labiausiai patiks žmonėms, kurie išties kenčia nuo emocinio šantažo ir nori iššeiti iš šio užburto rato. Aš tikėjausi labiau edukacinio požiūrio ir akiračio praplėtimo, daugiau sauso mokslo, faktų, bet ši knyga yra daugiau
praktinis vadovas, kuri draugišku tonu ir tarsi paėmus už rankos jums padės. Gero skaitymo ir nepamirškite savęs!February 23, 2013July 23, 2022‫ ﻣﻌﻘﻮل ﻓﻲ اﺑﺘﺰاز ﻫﺎي اﻻﻳﺎم ﻋﻨﺠﺪ اﻹﻧﺴﺎن ﺳﻲء‬October 30, 2012I read this book as research for a short story I'm writing, but was struck by how common many of the emotional blackmail techniques described in this book actually are. Family members, friends, and employers often use these strategies without anyone thinking about what's going on. If you're a generous person, you could be taken advantage of easily. As the author
emotional abuse mimics normal behaviour and can be difficult to identify for that reason. What makes emotional blackmail different from normal anger or unhappiness is its consistent, one-sided nature.This is an intriguing read and a thought-provoking book. July 27, 2011Similar to the other books of this genre, it sheds light on the dark places of our relationships. Forward's key phrase for recognizing when we're being manipulated is FOG: fear, obligation, guilt. What you do with that requires practice. Forward offers concrete and logical advice. What you do
with it is your responsibility.May 12, 2019‫ﻤﻨﺎﺳﺒﻴﻦ !اﻟﺨﻼﺻﺔ ﻣﻬﻤﺎ ﻛ ُﻨﺖ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﻴﺎ ً وﻃﻴﺒﺎ ً ﻻﺗﺪع أﺣﺪا ً ﻳﺒﺘﺰ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮك وﻳﻤﺘﺺ ﻃﺎﻗﺘﻚ و وﻫﺠﻚ‬ ُ ‫ﻣﻠﻬﻤﺎ ً ﺑﺤﻖ وﺳﺎﻋﺪﻧﻲ ﻛﺜﻴﺮا ًﻛﻠﻤﺔ اﻟﺮﻓﺾ " ﻻ " ﺗﻠﻚ اﻟﻜﻠﻤﺔ اﻟﻤﻈﻠﻮﻣﺔ ﺑﻮﺻﻔﻬﺎ ﻏ ُﺮاﺑﺎ ً أﺳﻮدا ً ﻣﺸﺆوم ﻻﻳﻤﻜﻨﻚ اﻟﺘﺼﺪﻳﻖ ﻛﻴﻒ ﺳﺘﺘﺤﻮل ﻟﺤﻤﺎﻣﺔ ﺑﻴﻀﺎء ﺳﺘ ُﻐﻴﺮ ﻣﺴﺎر ﺣﻴﺎﺗﻚ وﺧﻴﺎراﺗﻚ ﻋﻨﺪﻣﺎ ﺗﻀﻌﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻣﻜﺎﻧﻬﺎ وزﻣﺎﻧﻬﺎ اﻟ‬ ُ ً ‫ﻪ ﻛﺎن ﻧﺎﻓﻌﺎ‬ ُ ‫ ﻟﻜﻨ‬.. ‫ ﻻ ﻟﺸﻲء ﺳﻮى اﻧﺸﻐﺎل وﻗﻠﺔ اﺳﺘﻌﺪاد ذﻫﻨﻲ ﻟﻠﻘﺮاءة‬، ‫ ﻳﺎﻟﻬﺎ ﻣﻦ رﺣﻠﺔ ﻃﻮﻳﻠﺔ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺬا اﻟﻜﺘﺎب‬..
‫! ﻻ أﺣﺪ‬May 3, 2020‫ ﺗﻔﺎﺻﻴﻞ اﻟﻜﺘﺎب ﻫﺘﺴﺒﺒﻠﻪ أﻟﻢ س ﻫﻴﺴﺘﻔﺎد ﺟﺪا‬،‫وﺑﺮﺷﺤﻪ ﻻي ﺷﺨﺺ ﻋﻨﺪه ﻣﺸﻜﻠﺔ ﻓﻲ وﺿﻊ ﺣﺪود ﺑﻴﻨﻪ وﺑﻴﻦ اﻟﻨﺎس وﺑﻴﻌﺎﻧﻲ ﻣﻦ وﺟﻮد ﺳﺎﻳﻜﻮﺑﺎﺗﻴﻴﻦ أو ﻧﺮﺟﺴﻴﻴﻦ ﻓﻲ ﺣﻴﺎﺗﻪ‬.‫اﻟﻜﺘﺎب ده ﻛﺎن ﻣﺮﻫﻖ ﺟﺪا ﻧﻔﺴﻴﺎ وﺧﻼﻧﻲ اﺧﺪ ﻓﺘﺮة ﻃﻮﻳﻠﺔ ﻋﺸﺎن اﺧﻠﺼﻪ‬.Sincerely, Angel (mastermind girlie)July 27, 2022this was ok but there is something missing she didn't mention other personalities like narcissistic that connects to being a manipulator, i think this will only work if the kind of manipulation they're using to you is not extreme but if are being manipulated in an extreme level then find another book.June 4, 2023This b
habits actually have a significant impact on the people around me, both positively and negatively. By reading this book, both of my eyes were wide open to the importance of deeply understanding ourselves (such as the unnoticed bad habits like emotional blackmail) and how crucial it is to recognize the bad habits that others unknowingly or knowingly impose on us.June 5, 2022‫راﻫﮑﺎرﻫﺎ ﻫﻢ ﮐﺎﻣﻼ ﮔﻮﯾﺎ ﻫﻤﺮاه ﺑﺎ ﻣﺜﺎل ﻫﺴﺘﻦ ﮐﻪ‬.‫ﺑﺠﺎش ﻣﺜﺎل ﻫﺎی زﯾﺎدی از ﮐﯿﺲ ﻫﺎی واﻗﻌﯽ زده و ﺳﻌﯽ ﮐﺮده ﻗﺪم ﺑﻪ ﻗﺪم از روی ﻧﻤﻮﻧﻪ ﻫﺎی ﻣﺨﺘﻠﻒ ﺑﺮرﺳﯽ و ﺗﺤﻠﯿﻞ ﮐﻨﻪ‬.‫ﯿﻠﯽ ﺑﺤﺚ ﻫﺎی ﻋﻤﯿﻖ و ﻏﯿﺮﻣﻔﯿﺪ رو ﭘﯿﺶ ﺑﮑﺸﻪ و ﺧﻮاﻧﻨﺪه رو ﺧﺴﺘﻪ ﮐﻨﻪ‬
‫ﻪ‬۲‫ﮑﻨ‬۲
‫ن‬
‫ﺪﻣﯿ‬July
‫ﮏﻧﺑﺎ‬
‫ﯽﻮ‬
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‫ﺎﮐ‬29,
‫ﻦنﮐﯾ‬
‫ﺮﻫاﺮ‬
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‫ﺶﺑﮐﻬﻣﻨ‬
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‫ﺴرﻪﻓواﭘﺑﯿ‬
‫ﺟﺑﻠدﻪر‬
across
‫ﻦ‬‫ﻤﯾﺎﻻ‬
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‫شﺣ‬‫و ا‬a‫ﺮها‬reference
‫ﯽﺎدﻣهﯿ ﺑﺪ‬
‫ﺧﻮاﺑﻓﺘ‬
‫کﺎق‬
‫رﺗﻔ‬to
‫ﺶند ا‬
this
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‫ﭼﻮ‬
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‫وﯿﮑﻋﻨﻪ‬while
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‫ﻮ‬for
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‫ﺢﺎﺛاﯿﺣﺮﺘﻤﮔﺎﺬا‬
‫ﻄﺗ‬‫ ﺗﺎ‬insight
‫ﺳ‬‫ﯽﻪ دﺑرﺸﻪ‬
‫ﺣﮔﺘﻔﺘ‬as
‫رﺗوﺮ‬to
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‫ﮕﻪ‬‫ﻧ‬what
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‫ﺖﮑ ﯾﺮدﮑ‬
do
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a‫ﺷﯾ‬
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‫ا‬.‫یهﺗ‬
‫ﺎوادرد‬family
‫ﻪﺗﻌﮐﺪﺘاﺎدبزﯾ‬،situation.
‫م ﺑدﺮوﺗﺎرا اﻫﻧﺘﮑﺎﻘﺎردﻫﺎﺑ‬
I‫ﺮه‬
‫و‬ordered
‫ﻼ‬
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‫ﺼﮕﻞﯿﺮآﯾ‬
‫ﺑ‬book
‫ﮏ‬
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online
‫ﺼﺪه‬
‫ﺷﻣﺘﺘﻪﺨﺷ‬
and
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‫ﺘﯿﻮﺮﻧ‬arrived
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‫ﺨﺘﻪ‬
‫ﺳن‬‫ﺑﺪو‬from
‫ﻈﯿﺮﻖﻣﻮون‬
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‫ﯽ ﻧد‬
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‫ﯽ‬
‫ﻫﻪﺎﯾﺧﯿ‬about
‫ﺶﮐ‬‫ﺨﻮد‬
‫ﺖﺑ‬
‫ﻪ ﺑ‬a‫ﺴ‬
‫ ﯾ‬week
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‫س‬‫ﯿﻧﻪﺸﮐﻨﺎﺮده‬Have
‫ﺻا‬
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‫ﺳﻢ ﺗ‬
‫ﻫ‬
read
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it‫ﮕﻣﯿ‬cover
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cover
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‫ﺖروﮐآﺘﺎ‬
last
‫ن‬‫تﺷﻣﻮﺜﺒ‬
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‫ﯽﺘ اﻔﺎز‬
‫ﯾ( اﮑﺳ‬.‫ﻢ‬
it‫ﮐﻨ‬felt
‫ﺷﻮن‬ like
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‫م ﺑﺘﻮﻧﻢ‬in
‫وار‬the
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‫م ﭘﯿﺪا‬found
‫ﻧﺐ ﺧﻮد‬so
‫ﻣﻦ در رواﺑﻂ ﺧﻮدم ﺗﻘﺼﯿﺮﻫﺎﯾﯽ از ﺟﺎ‬.‫ﮐﻤﮏ ﮐﻨﻪ ﮐﻪ ﺑﻪ دﯾﮕﺮان ﻫﻢ ﮐﻤﺘﺮ آﺳﯿﺐ ﺑﺰﻧﯿﻢ‬،‫ﻧﮕﺎه دروﻧﯽ داﺷﺘﻪ ﺑﺎﺷﻪ و ﺑﺠﺎی اﯾﻨﮑﻪ ﻣﺎرو ﺗﺒﺪﯾﻞ ﺑﻪ آدم ﻏﺮﻏﺮو و اﯾﺮاد ﮔﯿﺮ و ﺑﺮﭼﺴﺐزﻧﻨﺪه ﺑﻪ دﯾﮕﺮان ﺑﮑﻨﻪ‬،‫ﺑﻪ ﻧﻈﺮم ﮐﺘﺎب ﺧﻮدﯾﺎری ﺧﻮب ﮐﺘﺎﺑﯿﻪ ﮐﻪ ﻋﻼوه ﺑﺮ ﻧﮕﺎه ﺑﯿﺮوﻧﯽ‬.‫ﯽ دارﯾﻢ ﺣﺎﻻ ﺑﺮای ﺑﻬﺘﺮ ﺷﺪن‬
much wisdom and practical advice packed inside I could just kiss the author! I went straight out this morning and bought a notebook to use start to rethinking things through and following the exercises suggested as Susan Forward advises. Wow feel immensely stronger and more positive. Susan uses the notion of someone targeted by an emotional abuser being in a FOG an acronym for Fear, Obligation and Guilt. This is an excellent analogy.
Already I feel my personal FOG has lifted somewhat. The thing I really like about this book is that it does not label the "emotional abuser" as a bad, evil, or irredeemable person but explains how and why things can turn out this way in relationships that had started out as loving relationships and provides new ways of thinking and acting enabling the person targeted by an emotional abuser to begin to change something which may in turn enable the abuser to change. In other words to regain some power and integrity. In my case it was good to see in print that
many of the things we are already doing are on the right track but the book really helped me think about why do I keep doing things that don't help change things and provides lots of strategies to try. Near the end of the book is a letter someone who had become an "emotional abuser" wrote to his inner self and then shared with his partner. He had managed to identify that part of his personality that had needed to act in this way and in doing so begin remove its power to harm or keep it in check as now he recognises it for what it is.
Of course as Forward explains not every relationship can be healed or renewed but following her advice at least one of the parties will end up stronger and feeling in control of their own life again. 2016-books-read counselling gr-review March 9, 2021Досить поверхневе, але наочне керівництво щодо того, як справлятися із людьми, які не поважають наші межі і є токсичними до нас. Мені не дуже подобається, що Форвард використовувала фразу "емоційний шантаж" на позначення навіть тих ситуацій, які я зчитувала як абьюз чи газлайтинг, і
тим самим ніби пом’якшувала його. Але наскільки я розумію це частина американської психотерапевтичної традиції, яка дуже сильно орієнтована на когнітивні механізми зцілення та селф-хелп. Ну таке, мені особисто це не сильно помагає, але що було цікаво і корисно, так це ознайомитися із реальними кейсами і різними прикладами шантажу. Хоча катарсису очікувати не варто. June 20, 2017‫واﻟﻨﺼﻒ اﻟﺜﺎﻧﻲ اﻟﻤﺘﻌﻠﻖ ب ﻛﻴﻔﻴﺔ اﻟﺘﻌﺎﻣﻞ ﻣﻊ اﻟﻤﺒﺘﺰ اﺿﻄﺮرت أن أﻗﺮأ ﺑﻌﺾ اﻟﻌﻨﺎوﻳﻦ و اﻟﻔﻘﺮات ﻓﻘﻂ‬.. ‫ ودﻗﻴﻖ وﻣﻔﺼﻠﻠﻜﻦ ﻣﺴﻬﺐ ﺟﺪا ﺟﺪا ﺟﺪا وﻛﺜﻴﺮ اﻟﻘﺼﺺ واﻟﺤﻜﺎﻳﺎﺗﻘﺮأت ﻧﺼﻔﻪ ﺑﻌﻨﺎﻳﺔ‬.. ‫ﺪ ﺟﺪا‬
assumptions about the motivations of people she's never met and states her assumptions as fact, and I think that's a bad precedent to set. Like, don't do that, and don't encourage your readers to do it. Don't assume you know where this behavior comes from when you really have no way of knowing, just focus on learning how to deal with it.Also, I wish she was more clear about what's emotional blackmail and what isn't.

Because I think sometimes it's legit to do the things she vaguely describes as blackmail, and sometimes it's a blatant manipulation tactic.Like, I give people "the silent treatment" when I'm exhausted and I don't know how to deal with a problem so I'm like yeah, I'm going to deal with this later when my brain is working better. I once dated a guy who gave me the silent treatment because he knew withholding would make me cave in to whatever unreasonable thing he wanted as long as he could hold out longer than I could.
That's emotional blackmail.There was one point near the end of the book where a husband was ignoring his wife because she was gaining weight, and Susan's advice was that she should agree to go on a diet if he would agree to stop being such a douche. (She called it "bartering.")I was like uhh, how is that not emotional blackmail? Her advice should have been that the woman confront her husband and be like, hey how about I leave unless you become less of a dick and learn to value me as a person?Anyway, this book is kind of terrible. I read it for the first
time in the early 2000's after leaving a really abusive relationship with someone who definitely used a lot of these tricks to control me, and it worked because I didn't have any boundaries. This is a definite "boundaries for beginners" book. So it was helpful because I was someone who had a lot of trouble saying no.
So despite my complaints, I would recommend this book for anyone who continually finds themselves being mistreated by romantic partners.But rereading it now a decade later, I see how it could be misused to label non-abusive behavior as abuse...which is an abuse tactic! You know, as someone who's spent a decade building up boundaries and learning to say no to people I'm now super sensitive to advice that isn't extremely clear about how boundary setting isn't abuse. Because the stronger my boundaries get, the more I have to deal with people who are
like, "I don't like that so it's wrong and you're a bad person!" And sometimes it's the "victim" who's actually the controlling asshole. They let people walk all over them, and then constantly try to manage other people's behavior to protect their feelings. Which the book does address! But some of the examples (and the book is like 90% examples) are suspect. Like yeeeeeah, I'm not at all confident that the victim of this story isn't the one being abusive.But! I think this book might be good for someone who knows they tend to push people's boundaries and wants to
get better about recognizing their unacceptable behavior because it's kind of impossible to misuse this advice if that's your goal.Displaying 1 - 30 of 351 reviewsGet help and learn more about the design. When you’re in love with someone, you often turn a blind eye to how your partner acts, and sometimes you might not even realize they are acting in an unhealthy, harmful way. At the same time, when you’re getting to know someone new and are in the stages of dating, it’s difficult to know if someone is toxic, or if they just go around getting to know you in a
different way to others. However, if someone you are in a relationship with is emotionally blackmailing you, it’s vital that you realize it sooner rather than later so that you can protect yourself from it by nipping it in the bud or leaving. Unfortunately, the signs of emotional blackmail can be very well hidden, and that’s exactly why this article is here. We’re going to take a look at the top 8 signs of emotional blackmail, so you can see if it’s occurring in your relationship, and also how to deal with an emotional blackmailer. One of the biggest signs that someone
will give you that shows they are an emotional blackmailer is that they will always act like the victim. Even if you’re the one being reasonable and right in an argument or disagreement, they will always act like they are being hard done by. They love to play the victim role because it makes you feel sorry for them, and you feel obliged to apologize and make it better. Even if they have said something nasty to you, or they’re the reason you’re upset, you’ll always find yourself apologizing, and they never will. People that use emotional blackmail in a relationship
will always try to intimidate their partner.
This may sound contrary to the previous point, but it’s actually disturbingly impressive how an emotional blackmailer can both play the victim and terrify someone at the same time with intimidation. Intimidation techniques differ depending on the individual. These techniques can vary from showing superior knowledge to getting physically aggressive. Regardless of the severity of the intimidation, it’s not acceptable. Intimidation doesn’t exist in a healthy relationship. Although gaslighting is technically seen as a more specific type of emotional abuse, it can be
used to emotionally blackmail. Gaslighting is where an individual makes another person feel like they’re going crazy and therefore they can’t trust themselves. Gaslighting can be used in emotional blackmail because it benefits the blackmailer to break down their victim because they won’t believe themselves or trust themselves. This makes it easier for the blackmailer to get what they want, as the victim will listen to them and trust them. There are many signs of gaslighting, but some of the most obvious being: Your partner telling you you’re going crazy.
Your partner telling you that you’re a bad person and others are speaking negatively of you. Your partner moving your things but denying it and make it out like you’re losing your mind. Your partner making you question every move you make. Although a lot of couples share their secrets with one another, they normally do so in trust. However, when someone is trying to emotionally blackmail their partner, they will want to find out all of their secrets, pretty much as soon as they can. Emotional blackmail often starts as early as the dating stage in a
relationship, with the victim being lured to share all of their secrets and open up fully. If you think this has happened to you, one thing you will notice is that the person doing the emotional blackmail will never share their secrets, or they will share things unimportant, whereas you have probably shared your darkest depths. The secrets that are shared are the perfect leverage for emotional extortion. For example, if you ever try to do something that the blackmailer isn’t happy about, they might threaten to expose you. This instills a huge sense of fear into the
victim. Someone that uses emotional blackmail in relationships is most likely going to be a person that is not only extremely calculated behind the scenes, but also actually knows how to put on a scene and use some drama skills. If you’re in public and your partner wants you to do something, whether that be to give them in a kiss in front of someone else, complain to a waiter, or agree with everything they’re saying, you might not think anything of it. However, if, as soon as you disagree to do what they want you to they threaten to cause a scene in front of
everyone around you, you could be in a relationship where emotional blackmail is present. You will most likely oblige to their demands because you don’t want to cause any drama in a public place In a healthy relationship, there’s obviously an abundance of love and joy, but one of the most important things is support. A good partner is someone that supports your individual aspirations, believes in you, helps you to achieve your goal, and, most of all, someone that makes you see the good that perhaps you don’t see in yourself.
Romantic relationships are one of the strongest support systems available to you. However, in the type of toxic relationships that emotional blackmail occurs in, your partner will not support you. In fact, they will drag you down. They will mention your flaws, tell you when you’re wrong, and they will most importantly not support any independent aspirations or goals you have. Before you do anything you will feel fear, obligation to ask your partner for their help and opinions, and generally quite downtrodden. This is just another way that even the strongest
person can get turned into a victim of emotional blackmail - they are worn down over and over, and have very little self-worth, so it’s easy to be pushed around and walked over. If your partner is using emotional blackmail on you, they will make you feel guilty whenever you are not with them. Your partner will want your undivided attention at all times because they want to have you wrapped around their little finger, and quite obviously they can’t do that if you’re not with them. If you are afraid you’re experiencing emotional blackmail, you’ll be able to notice
that your partner is always by your side when you leave the house, they will always come with you to meet your friend and if they aren’t present, they’ll always want to know who you’re with and what you’re doing. However, most of the time, if you go out without them, they will make you feel guilty and they will blackmail you into either apologizing or doing something they want you to. This, therefore means that every time you think about seeing a friend you will feel fear, obligation to invite them everywhere, and guilt if you do go without them. Obviously, if
your partner always wants to be your side and doesn’t like you seeing other people without them, it could just be jealousy that your partner is suffering from.
If it’s emotional blackmail though, your partner will make you feel fear and guilt. One of the most well-known and most extreme signs of emotional blackmail is someone threatening to harm themselves if you do something they don’t want you to. For example, if you want to break up with someone that’s emotionally blackmailing you, they might threaten to harm themself or even kill themself. This is obviously incredibly scary, and it will really instill fear into the heart of the victim. However, the person that’s emotionally blackmailing wants the victim to feel
fear, and they want them to come back and adhere to their demands and fulfill needs. Most of the time in situations where this happens, the victim will go back to the blackmailer, out of fear they will hurt themselves otherwise. Use this tool to check whether he actually is who he says he isWhether you're married or have just started seeing someone, infidelity rates are on the rise and have increased over 40% in the last 20 years, so you have all the right to be worried. Perhaps you want to know if he's texting other women behind your back? Or whether he has
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Now we’ve taken a look at the signs of emotional blackmail in a relationship, you should hopefully have a good idea about whether this is what’s happening in your relationship or not. Although it can be really painful coming to the realization that your partner has been using emotional blackmail against you, it’s vital that you act and deal with it. No one deserves to be treated like this. As we have seen with the signs above, there are many ways a person can emotionally blackmail someone. It’s really important to acknowledge and recognize what ways your
partner blackmails you so that you can then look deeper into the issue and understand it further. Also, while you’re trying to figure out the ways in which your partner is blackmailing you, it is vital that you do not let on to your partner that you know they are blackmailing you. Firstly because you want to be able to monitor the behavior they normally exhibit, but also because you could put yourself in danger. Once you have identified the ways in which your partner blackmails you, you will need to think very seriously about whether you think your partner is
capable of change, or not. You do not deserve to live in fear of blackmail, so the only two options you have are either your partner changing their behavior and realizing it’s wrong, or, you leave. The majority of the time, the best option is to leave. However, if you truly believe (with unclouded judgment) that your partner can change and needs help to change, you might be able to stay and have a successful relationship in the future.
One of the most important things you need to consider when you realize that you’re in a relationship with an emotional blackmailer is if you are safe, or in danger.
You will probably be able to grasp whether you are in danger or not by thinking about your partner’s behavior when they blackmail you. Is your partner really aggressive with you normally? Has your partner ever physically abused you? Does your partner have a quickly changing, fiery temper? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then you might be in danger. If you are in danger, it’s important that you leave the relationship as safely as possible. Don’t let your partner know that you have realized what they’re doing to you, and definitely don’t let
them see that you’re attempting to leave. It can be extremely helpful to gain support from loved ones and even professionals. You can find support in sharing details of your situation with loved ones and trusted friends.
They will be able to offer you advice, check up on you, and support you emotionally. You might also find it useful to speak to a professional about your situation, such as a therapist or relationship counselor. They will be able to help you further understand what emotional blackmail is, and assist you in dealing with it. As well as these people you can confide in, you could also connect with others in the same position.
Although no one deserves to live with constant fear, obligation, and guilt, you’ll be surprised by how many people do. There’s an array of online blog sites and forums for people dealing with this situation and it can be comforting to have a support network like this. Once you fully understand the situation you are in and have a game plan of how you are going to deal with it, it’s time to take action. Leaving someone that’s emotionally blackmailing you might be hard, but it’s the best thing to do in most situations. Make sure you’re not in danger, have a good
support network, and leave him! However, if you are going to try and work through the issue with your partner, now’s the time to safely confront them and see if they’re willing to work at it together and see a professional to help them.
Emotional blackmail is when someone manipulates another, using the emotions that person has towards them. The emotional blackmailer will make the victim feel guilty and might use fear to get what they want in the relationship. A lot of the time, emotional blackmail is present with other types of abuse. As mentioned above at more length in point 6, an example of emotional blackmail is when someone threatens to harm themselves if you want to end the relationship with them. Due to the fact you don’t any harm to come to them, you will stay in the
relationship. It’s not healthy to try and become an emotional blackmailer, and therefore I’m not going to share details on how to blackmail someone. If you feel like you have a tendency to control or manipulate those that you care about, you may want to consider seeking professional help, in order to move forward into more fulfilling relationships. Someone that’s emotionally manipulative will always, always put the blame on you when bad things happen.
They will also twist your words, guilt trip you, undermine you in front of others, gaslight you, and overall, make you feel lesser than they are, so they can rise above you. The first thing you need to do is recognize a manipulator. Then, you need to make sure you are strong enough to ignore the manipulation tactics and rise above it. Once you are strong enough, leave the manipulator and never go back to being in a relationship with them, in any way, shape, or form. You don’t need to play games to outsmart a manipulative person, just need to stay strong and
overcome their attempts to control you. I really hope this article helps you to not only understand more about the signs that will be showing if emotional blackmail is occurring in your relationship, but also helps you realize how you can deal with this situation. No one should live in fear, or feel obligation and guilt. Did you find this article useful?
Let us know in the comments, and feel free to share this article with anyone you think would benefit from reading. Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to beWhether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified. Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?
This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.