SANTA-CISE

A Christmas Radio Drama

By Toby Erickson
 Before you begin...some ideas!

Reading out loud is really a different skill than reading silently to one’s self.
When we read out loud, especially a story, we have to bring feeling to the text
with our voice along with pronouncing things correctly, pausing to breathe
and pacing ourselves to get it right. A script should be enjoyed by all who
can hear it! Read it! Own it! Make it come alive!
This script I have used with various grade levels for well over 25 years. Here
are some fun ways to use it in your classroom:
Read Aloud:
Pass out scripts, choose parts, and read it outloud as a class. Pause to
discuss ideas from the themes, sound effects and character voices.
Readers Theater:
Consider having each scene performed by a small group, after they have
practiced a bit. Each group can come in front of the class and present their
scene. Perform for a group of parents or another (perhaps younger)
classroom.
Radio Drama:
If you are a bit more tech savvy, consider recording your play! Adding in
some live sound effects, like feet in gravel, clinking and clanking plates,
hammers and saws, pouring of water and the laughter (or screams) of
children bring amazing depth to your production. With three microphones, a
box of gravel from the playground, a saw with a block of wood, and a few old
pots and pans, the sound effects performers have often the most coveted
parts in the script!

I hope you and your class enjoy SANTA-CISE ! Since it is likely that it is that
time of year right now, let me wish you and yours a very happy Christmas
holiday!!

Toby Erickson
taerickson64@gmail
PS. Tell me how it went!

Copyright © 2021 Toby Erickson

All rights reserved by author.
Permission to copy for classroom use only.
Electronic distribution limited to classroom use only.
SANTA-CISE : Cast and Sound Effects

Cast: Sound Effects (SFX)

Narrator (performed live)

Sleigh sounds
Santa
Jingle Bells
911 Person
Toy Sack
Dr. Elf
Cell Phone sounds
Elf #1
Paper Crunch
Elf #2
Santa’s Workshop
Arnold (hammers and saws)

Billy Whistle

Suzy (Pre-recorded)

Cop #1 Christmas Music

Cop #2 “ROCKY” or workout music

Police Siren

Note: Consider using multiple narrators and different voices for Elf #1 and
Elf #2 to give more people parts in the story.

Some reluctant readers may prefer performing sound effects live as you
record. These folks should also have scripts to watch for their cues!
 Scene One
Narrator, Santa, 9-1-1 Person

Narrator
Christmas is a wonderful time of year. Each year Santa flies from home to home
bringing toys to all good girls and boys. But did you ever hear about the year Santa
nearly failed on his yearly mission? It all started one Christmas Eve. Santa was
nearly finished delivering all the toys when…

SFX: Sleigh sounds, jingle bells and wind

Santa
Ho! Ho! Ho! One house to go! What a wonderful bunch of goodies I’ve had this year.

SFX: Sleigh lands

Santa
Now I just unload these gifts and it’s back to the North Pole!

SFX: Toy sack and footsteps

Santa
OK now to get down the chimney HMMM. Let’s see. This one seems a bit small.
Oh well, I’m sure I can get down. Here we go! Ho! Ho! Hoooooo!

SFX: Inflated Balloon Rub and Squeak...as if Santa’s

body is too big for the chimney! Continue through scene

Santa
Oh boy! Maybe if I….No...let’s see...Maybe if...Nope..Oh no! Oh No! I’m stuck!
Help! HELP! Wait a minute. I better not wake up anybody in the house! I know! I’ll
just use my phone to call for help. Where is that thing?

SFX:More balloon as Santa squirms

Santa
Ah Ha! Here it is. Let’s see…

SFX: Phone beeping sounds

911 Operator (voice through a paper cone or through a speaker)

This is 9-1-1 ! What is the nature of your emergency?

1.
 Scene One
Continues

Santa
This is Santa Claus. I’m at 1-2-3 Cherry Tree Lane. I’m stuck in the chimney!

911 Operator
Sir, I do not find this to be funny. 9-1-1 is for emergency calls only!!

Santa
I’m not kidding!! HELP!!

SFX: Sirens

2.
 Scene Two
Narrator, Dr. Elf, Santa

Narrator:
Yes, ‘Ol Santa found himself in quite a jam. Don’t worry. He wasn’t hurt. But Santa
did have a problem. The next day Santa returned to the North Pole and visited the
Clinic where Doctor Elf gave him some advice.

Dr. Elf
O.K. have a seat right there Mr. Claus

SFX: Tissue paper CRUNCH

Dr. Elf
Open Wide….say Ahhh!

Santa
AHHHHH….

Dr. Elf
Well Mr. Claus, I don’t seem to find anything wrong with you.

Santa
Ho! Ho! Ho!

Dr. Elf
Except...I think you have eaten way too many Christmas goodies!!

Santa
Oh. Oh. Oh. What are you saying Doc?

Dr Elf
Santa! You have got to lose some weight. There is no way you can go out there year
after year, eating Christmas ham, cake and cookies, drinking milk and hot chocolate
and expect to stay healthy. How old are you, Santa?

3.
 Scene Two
Continues

Santa
Oh...about 17 or 18 hundred years old.

Dr. Elf
Well if you want to live to be 19 hundred, you are going to have to lose some weight!

Santa
But Doc! This is my look! I’m Santa Claus! I’m supposed to be jolly and rolly-polly.
It just wouldn’t be right if Santa was all skinny and trim and…

Dr. Elf
Healthy?

Santa
Oh, C’mon Doc!

Dr. Elf
Look Santa, I’m your Doctor! And I say, lose the weight or you can count on getting
stuck in every chimney from here to Tim-Buck-Too!

Santa
Alright, OK...you’re the Doc..Doc...SAY, what that some left-over Christmas fudge I
saw in your waiting room?

Dr. Elf
SANTA! That’s no way to start your diet. From now on, only healthy foods, small
portions and exercise everyday! I’m also going to give you a number for an excellent
personal fitness trainer!

Santa

OH!...Oh....oh………..

4.
 Scene Three
Narrator, Elf #1, Elf #2, Santa, Arnold

Narrator
Well it took some time, but soon Santa began to see how important it is to be healthy.
What would the world do without him? How could Christmas be Christmas without
Santa Claus? Yes, he knew he had to do something about his health. Santa decided
to make the call only a few months before the next Christmas.

SFX: Santa’s Workshop. Elves talking, hammers, saws

Elf #1
Hey over there...are you guys finished with those dolls? Get them down to gift
wrapping! And you Elves need to clean up that saw dust...I mean it! The Big Guy is
going to be here any minute!

Elf #2
No! He’s here now!

Elf #1
Look alive everyone!

SFX: Jingle Bells

Santa
HO! HO! HO! How are my little friends!

All Elves in unison

HELLO SANTA!!

Elf #1
Would you like to try a sample of our new Christmas fudge Santa? It’s our latest
formula!

Santa
Well...maybe just a small piece with a little bit of that.…….

SFX:Whistle
Elf #2
Who is that?

Santa
Oh! That is my new personal trainer, Arnold.

5.
 Scene Three
Continued

Arnold (in best Austrian-Terminator accent)

You! with the fudge! Step back from Santa!

Santa
Arnold, he was only trying to…

Arnold
Santa, you hired me to help you. Loose lips make hips! NO FUDGE!

Elf #1
SO Santa, It’s really true? You are going to lose weight?

Santa
I’m afraid so. In fact, I thought we could all stand to lose a few pounds. That’s why I
have invited Arnold here to help us start each day with a rigorous exercise program.

Arnold
No more sweets! Daily exercise! A sensible diet! This is the road to personal
fitness!!

All Elves (whining randomly)

Waaahh! Why? We don’t want to! Santa! Do we have to???

SFX:Whistle
Arnold
That’s enough! O.K. you wimpy Elves, line up in alphabetical order. It is time we
begin!

Elves
(whine! Whine! WHINE! Whine Randomly)

SFX:Whistle
Arnold
AND NO WHINING!!!

Santa
Arnold...aren’t you being a little hard on the guys?

Arnold
How about I won’t tell you how to deliver presents and you don’t tell me how to run a
fitness program! No get in line, Round Boy!

Santa
OH! Oh...ohhh…..
6.
 Scene Four
Narrator, Elf #1, Elf #2, Santa, Arnold

SFX:Whistle

SFX:(Theme from “Rocky” or “Rudy” or any good,

upbeat, work-out montage music plays under Narrator)

Narrator
Arnold really whipped those guys into shape. Each day, Santa and the Elves ran, did
aerobics, lifted weights and ate sensible diets. The Elves learned to enjoy their new
healthy lifestyle. And they had more energy than ever. Arnold’s program did more for
the North Pole than anyone had expected. In fact, this year, the Elves were ready for
Christmas a whole week early. And Santa? It was hard to tell. He did everything he
should, but with his big baggy clothes, it was hard to tell if he was really losing any
weight. But then, on Christmas Eve….

SFX: Santa’s Workshop. Elves talking, hammers, saws

Elf #1
Well, the sleigh is loaded, the weather is clear, and we’ve packed Santa some
veggies to munch on during the trip.

Elf #2
Good! But where is Santa?

Elf #1
Arnold says he’s going to make a big entrance. Mrs. Claus made him a new suit!

SFX: Big Booming FANFARE Music

Elf #1
Here he comes now!

ELVES (in Unison, with AWE)

Ooooooooh! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwe!

7.
 Scene Four
Continued

Santa
Let’s ROCK and ROll Boys!

Elves (cheer in unison)

YEAH!

Santa
Arnold! Thank you. I’ve never felt or looked better!

Arnold
My work (vork) is through here. Now, everyone better continue to exercise and eat
right...or, I’ll BE BACK!

Elves (in Unison)

YES SIR !!!

8.
 Scene Five
Narrator, Billy, Suzy, Cop #1, Cop #2, Santa

Narrator
Well, everything started out great! Santa zipped from house to house, slipping
through chimney after chimney in record town. But, once again, as Santa came to
the last house of the evening....

Billy (full but whisper voice)

Are you sure Mom and Dad are asleep?

Suzy (full but whisper voice)

Yeah! I just checked. Santa must be coming any minute.

SFX: Jingle bells

Billy
Here he comes now!

Suzy
I can’t believe it. I thought he’d never get here!

Billy
Wow! Santa Clause! Right here in my own...wait a minute.(now full voice) That
doesn’t look like Santa! It’s some skinny guy in red tights!

Suzy:(full voice)
I’ll bet he’s stealing our presents! I’m calling the police!

SFX: Phone Dialing followed by Sirens

9.
 Scene Five
Continues

Cop #1
Alright, what’s going on here. Looks like a 10-62 to me!

Cop #2
Freeze Buddy! And drop the bag!

SFX: Toy Bag drops

Santa
Boys! Boys! It’s me! Santa! SANTA CLAUS...you know...Christmas
Eve?...Presents?

Cop #1
Yeah, don’t remind me! This is the third Christmas I’ve had to work in a row!

SFX: Rummaging through bag

Cop #2
Let’s see what we have here. Jump rope, resistance bands, Abdominizer, Jane
Fonda workout video….no toys!

Cop #1
And look here...He’s got a lunch box full of veggies!

Cop #2
No Christmas goodies this year, eh Santa? Dropped a few pounds as well?

Santa
(begins proudly) Well, as a matter of fact…

Cop #1
Yeah! You’re Santa alright! And I’m Mickey Mouse!

Cop #2
C’mon Mr. Skinny Claus! We’re going downtown!

10.
 Scene Six
Narrator, Elf #1, Elf #2, Elves, Arnold

Narrator
Well, it did take some fast talking, but Santa finally convinced those officers that he
was the real Santa Claus. However, the problem remained: Santa just didn’t look like
Santa without his rolly-polly bowl of jelly. By the next Christmas, Santa was looking a
bit more like himself again.

SFX: Santa’s Workshop. Elves talking, hammers, saws

Elf #1
Well Santa, I hate to say it, but you never looked better!

Elf #2
Yeah! I could never get used to you looking like a stick.

Santa
Thanks Guys! I guess we’ve all learned a lesson. We don’t have to overdo it. Just
eat right, get a little exercise...and remember to enjoy ourselves too.

Elf #1
How about some fudge, Santa?

Santa
Don’t mind if I do! Ho! Ho! Ho!

Elves (in unison)

YEEEEEEAAAAH!

SFX: Whistle

11.
 Scene Six
Continues

Elf #2
Oh No!

Elf #1
It can’t be!

Elves (in unison)

It’s ARNOLD! RUN!!!! (Then randomly) Ahhhh! Look out! Let’s get out of here! Get
away! Get Away!

Arnold (over fleeing elves)

You had better run you vimpy elves! Look at you! You have destroyed everything I
did for you!

SFX: Jingle Bells

Santa
See ‘Ya Arnold! On Dancer! On Donner! On Dasher! On Blixson……

Arnold
You can’t run forever, Round Boy! You’ll be back!

12.
 Conclusion
Credits

Christmas Music

Narrator (over Christmas music)

This radio drama was brought to you by______ (school name and grade)
This production was recorded on_______________ ( date) in __________ location.

Santa-Cise was written by Toby Erickson, and featured the following voice talents and
sound effects artists: (students file up to Microphone and state their first name.

And I’m __________________ (narrator’s first name) wishing you and yours and
wonderful holiday season. Also, please know, no elves were hurt in the recording of
this production!

Whole Class:

13.