JULY 2017 SOUTH AFRICA

20Q:
ALISON BRIE

BILL NYE
THE BRAINS
BEHIND THE TIE

NEW FICTION
BY A. M. HOMES

THE INTERVIEW:
CHRISTOPHER NOLAN

STOYA'S GUIDETO
EXPAND YOUR
SEXUAL FRONTIER

BILL NYE
THE BRAINS
BEHIND THE TIE

Elizabeth
Marie
WWW.PLAYBOY.CO.ZA R45.00

17007 Chevalier
MAXIMUM SEX APPEAL
9 772220 956009
New VINTAGE AéRONAVALE COLLeCtION
The VINTAGE AÉRON AVALE C HRONOGR APH • Montres du Monde • Official Distributor • Tel:+27(0) 11 7838813 • inf [email protected]
Availableat:Adara|BigFiveDutyFree|Bellagio|Bell&RossBoutique|CajeesTimeZone|Makgalas|Murdocks|Piajeh|RomaGioielli|Sedgars|TheWatchandJewelleryGallery|Vesuvio www.bellross.com
 MKI

AN Y R E SE M B L AN CE TO T H E DA SH BOAR D O F
THE E-T YPE JAGUAR IS PURELY INTENTIONAL.
Enzo Ferrari called it the most beautiful car in the world. Now three new watches pay
homage to Malcolm Sayer’s ground-breaking design. The Bremont MKI, MKII and MKIII
have been developed in partnership with Jaguar. The dials are inspired by the E-Type’s
tachometer and the winding weight is based on the car’s iconic steering wheel. You may
never own the car, but a Bremont Jaguar timepiece might just be the next best thing.

Montres du Monde · T: +27 (0) 11 783 8813 · info@montresdumonde·co.za

Bellagio Jewellers, Johannesburg · T: +27 (11) 784 0206
Bellagio Jewellers, Durban · T: +27 (31) 566 2527
 Editor-in-Chief Dirk Steenekamp
Associate Editor Jason Fleetwood
Graphic Designer Siphokazi Masele
Fashion Editor Lexie Robb
Grooming Editor Greg Forbes
Gaming Editor Andre Coetzer
Tech Editor Peter Wolff
Illustrations Toon53 Productions
Motoring Editor John Page
Motorcycle Editor Gavin Per r y
Senior Photo Editor Luba V Nel

ADVERTISING SALES [email protected]

for more information

PHONE: +27 10 006 0051

MAIL: PO Box 71450, Bryanston, Johannesburg, South Africa, 2021
ADDRESS: First Floor Block 6 Fourways Office Park, Cnr Roos Street & Fourways Boulevard, 2191
EMAIL: [email protected]
WEB: www.playboy.co.za
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/playboysouthafrica
TWITTER: @PlayboyMagSA
INSTAGRAM: playboymagsa

PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INTERNATIONAL

Hugh M. Hefner, Editor-in-Chief

U.S. PLAYBOY
Ben Kohn, Chief Executive Officer
Cooper Hefner, Chief Creative Officer
Michael Phillips, SVP, Product
James Rickman, Executive Editor

PLAYBOY INTERNATIONAL PUBLISHING

Reena Patel, Chief Commercial Officer & Head of Operations
Mary Nastos, Intl Publishing Operations Director
Gabriela Cifuentes, Digital Asset Manager

PLAYBOY South Africa is published by DHS Media House in South Africa for South Africa. Material in this publication, including text and images, is protected by copyright. It may not be copied,
reproduced, republished, posted, broadcast, or transmitted in any way without written consent of DHS Media House. The views and opinions expressed in PLAYBOY South Africa by the contributors
may not represent the views of the publishers. DHS Media House accepts no responsibility for any loss that may be suffered by any person who relies totally or partially upon any information, description, or
pictures contained herein. DHS Media House is not liable for any mistake, misprint, or typographic errors. All prices shown are in ZAR. Any submissions to PLAYBOY South Africa become the property of
DHS Media House. The name “PLAYBOY” and the PLAYBOY logo are registered trademarks of PLAYBOY USA, and used under license by (publisher). All rights reserved. The United States edition of
PLAYBOY is published monthly by PLAYBOY.
 PLAYBILL

Stoya Tom Toro

As a porn actress, entrepreneur and We couldn’t think of anyone better to
writer for Vice and The New York Times, map Trumplandia’s craggy topography
Stoya, who made her first PLAYBOY ap- than longtime New Yorker cartoon-
pearance as a star of our Renegades Is- ist Toro. In the illustrated Travels With
sue, is no stranger to exploration. She Toro, the artist — whose book of Trump-
draws on that same spirit of adventure themed cartoons, Tiny Hands, is out
for Expanding Your Sexual Frontiers, an now — probes the disconnect between
exclusive guide to pushing your limits voters on the coasts and those in the
both in and out of the bedroom. breadbasket.

Nicholas Gurewitch
The cartoonist and frequent PLAYBOY
contributor is also the brains behind the
widely successful (and laugh-out-loud
funny) Perry Bible Fellowship, a comic
web series that juxtaposes whimsical
sketches with subject matter ranging
from religion to sexuality to war. This is-
sue features an exclusive full-page car-
toon by Gurewitch — happy hunting!

Jack Morris
AM Homes Scroll through Morris’s social accounts
In She Got Away, a Minneapolis co-ed and you’ll soon be reaching for your
returns to LA to confront a family crisis. passport. The 26-year-old travel in-
This original story marks Homes’s PLAY- fluencer, who boasts more than 2.5
BOY debut, but her relationship with us million Instagram followers, quit his
began in 1987 when she was a runner-up carpet cleaning job five years ago to
in our College Fiction Contest. Homes travel the world. In Going Solo he of-
dedicated her first collection, The Safety fers a master class in adventuring
of Objects, to renowned PLAYBOY fic- alone via personal stories and breath-
tion editor Alice K. Turner. taking photos.
IMAGES: KC STUDIO.ORG, EDRANTS.COM.

5
JULY 2017
 CONTENTS

BILL NYE His scientific fervour and supreme goofinesh have made the Science Guy more relevant than ever 10

GIRL FEATURE Tia Hurley the model and yoga instructor with a technique for looking sexy 14

TRAVEL Tips on where to go solo from Jack Morris, Instagram's professional wanderer 22
PLAYBOY ADVISOR What to do when man's best friend becomes a third wheel 26

HIGH-SPEED AMERICAN DREAMS Chasing Elon Musk's Hyperloop: a story of innovation and immigration 28
INTERVIEW Era-defining filmmaker Christopher Nolan discusses the perilous leap from The Dark Knight to Dunkirk 36

COVER FEATURE Elizabeth Marie Chevalier all eyes on the youthful beauty with the perfect ten physique 44

20Q Alison Brie prepares to clothesline Netflix viewers everywhere with her star turn in GLOW 54

FICTION Disaster strikes closest to home in She Got Away, a tale of domestic apocalypse by A.M. Homes 58

DRAWN DATA The popular page formerly known as Raw Data returns with this dazzling reboot 67

SEX Ready to go on a sexual adventure? Let alt-porn icon Stoya be your guide 68

GIRL FEATURE Ashlyn Singh the charismatic jet-setter shows us what she's made of 70

TRAVELS WITH TORO A West Coast cartoonist new to the Midwest takes the temperature of Trump's America 78

GIRL FEATURE Tia McDonald Breathtakingly gorgeous and all about adventure 82
ARE YOU EXPERIENCED Getting weird in Detorit's resurgent nightlife scene with the help of Airbnb 90

ON THE COVER Elizabeth Marie Chevalier, Photography by Brian B Hayes

No 60 July 2017

7
JULY 2017
Bigfoot Car Detailing Centre
Bigfoot Car Detailing Centre South
Africa is an official partner of Rupes
S.P.A Milan Italy.
We are a vehicle surface appearance
specialists who supply and utilize the
innovative range of the Rupes and
Bigfoot polishing system to eliminate
paint defects, drastically enhancing the
vehicle’s appearance and protecting
the new defect-free surfaces.
Our services also extend to Yachts,
Private Jets, Bikes and certain
residential and commercial
applications.
Equipped with optical instruments in
our state of the art centre, we offer the
best technical precision and excellent
after care services.
 Why Bigfoot Car Detailing Centre?
I have been involved in the detailing industry for over seven years now. My days as a professional detailer
began with Swissvax a good few years ago. The day I decided to make it into a business, my main aim
was to differentiate myself from the rest of the companies out there and I did this by associating myself
back then with a premium brand like Swissvax, which was my stepping stone. Ever since then I have been
lucky to establish a loyal client base including corporates such as Porsche SA, Daytona Group, Audi etc.
However, servicing my clientele was purely as a mobile business.
I’ve always had the dream of establishing a centre but not just any detailing centre, something that would
stand head and shoulders above the rest. My moto was from the beginning “When you do something, do
it the right way or don’t even do it at all.”
Along came the launch of the Rupes Bigfoot Car Detailing Centres, with the first one being set up in
Qatar. What they did with that centre resonated with me and what I wanted to achieve with setting up
my own centre here in South Africa. From polishing systems, to the revolutionary machinery, to the science
behind the centre design, to the technical specifications around the lighting systems to the entire corporate
image. Everything was just unbelievable to witness and I saw my vision of developing a world class
detailing centre in the Rupes Bigfoot brand.
The opportunity to create a centre like no other in South Africa presented itself and I grabbed it with
both hands.

The rest as they say is history.

The detailing industry in South Africa is still immature in comparison to the United States or Europe,
however it has come a long way over the years with people starting to understand what the industry or
rather what the profession is about. It’s not just about cleaning cars. One of my main goals is hoping to
create a greater awareness about the industry and profession as well and share the knowledge I have
gained over the years. One of these ways will be via the Bigfoot Detailing Academy.
A first for South African detailing. I have been invited to the Bigfoot European Seminar in March to present
the SA detailing centre as well as to facilitate training sessions to over 400 attendees. I will be sharing the
stage with some of the world’s most renowned detailers, Gideon King, Larry Kosilla and Jason Rose to
name a few.

Bigfoot Detailing Academy

The centre in JHB will also become the first formalised detailing academy in South Africa with a formalised
training curriculum developed by Rupes Global Training Director Jason Rose.
Jason has been involved in surface treatment for 35 years and many may know him from his involvement
with Meguiars and he is one of the most respected technicians in the detailing industry.

Bigfoot Product Range

Opening of the centre has also presented the opportunity to distribute the spectacular range of
Rupes Bigfoot Polishers and accessories as well as the new range of Rupes Car Care Products. The
innovative range of Bigfoot polishers flipped the industry on its head and has revolutionised the
industry worldwide. It has become the detailer’s tool of choice due to its ease of use, being very safe on
paintwork and extremely efficient.

Bigfoot Car Detailing Service Offering

We have various service offerings from our basic paint protection detail which takes about eight hours.
Complete interior detailing to our most comprehensive treatment - The Bigfoot Signature Detail, which will
take anything from about five days to complete.
Paintwork protection includes premium Swissvax Waxes and Gtechniq Coatings which come with a 7-year
manufacture’s guarantee.
Our value-added services include the fitment of self-healing paint protection as well as vehicle wrapping
utilising the best quality vinyl available in the market.

Contact details: Address: Riversands incubation hub

Office number: (010)597 7758 Shop 129, block 4
Mobile: 0823319095 12-8 incubation drive Facebook: Bigfoot Car Detailing Centre
Email: [email protected] Riverside view ext 15 Instagram: pristinedetailing_sa
Fourways, Midrand 2021
 BILL NYE
His career in entertainment may have started with a Steve Martin look-alike contest, but this Science
Guy has become one of the bravest soldiers in the fight for rationalism. Meet the brains behind
the bow tie

By AMANDA PETRUSICH

Bill Nye does not abide casual misuse of Radical Curiosity and Solve Any Problem, admit, Palin wasn’t wrong: Nye never went
the word incredible. If you refer to some is out July 11. In April, Nye debuted a new to graduate school, nor has he ever held
sophisticated scientific process in this Netflix series, Bill Nye Saves the World, a job in a lab. In other areas, this sort of
way — the creation of more-durable crops which features a rotating cast of celebrity institutional validation wouldn’t matter —
through genetic modification, say — he will accomplices — including, in its very first nobody cares whether Jimi Hendrix had a
correct you, firmly. “No, it’s credible. It’s segment, supermodel Karlie Kloss and master’s degree in composition — but in an
science.” rapper Desiigner — and is aimed more academic discipline, it’s significant.
Anyone who came of age in the United States toward edifying adults than toward educating “Mechanical engineering is nothing but
in the early 1990s through the early 2000s can kids, though this does not preclude moments science”, Nye tells me. “That’s all it is. I took
likely credit Nye with their understanding of of supreme goofiness. Nye cites both Steve six semesters of calculus. Is that enough? I
one natural phenomenon or another: He has Martin and Carl Sagan as early influences. studied fluid mechanics, heat transfer, the
been dutifully demonstrating the scientific “Science came first, without question”, design of mechanical components. So, deal.”
method to television viewers for more than he says. We’re drinking coffee in a hotel Nye will tersely defend his scientific
30 years, either as the host of one of several suite in midtown Manhattan while the city qualifications, but in some ways his
shows or as a bow-tied talking head debating is in the midst of a colossal downpour. “But background as a comedian is his greatest
a cable-news pundit. His television career ever since I was a kid, I’ve wanted to be asset. These days, intellectualism of any sort
started when he joined the staff of Almost funny. It was valued.” is often read as snobbery, a luxury of the so-
Live!, a Seattle sketch comedy show, in Nye was born in Bethesda, Maryland, in called coastal elite. It makes sense that the
1986, and took off with Bill Nye the Science 1955. His mother was a code breaker for the country would turn to a beloved celebrity for
Guy, an educational children’s show that Navy during World War II, and his father help with a complex public issue like climate
aired from 1993 to 1998 on KCTS-TV, worked in advertising. After graduating change. And our greatest scientific thinkers,
Seattle’s public broadcasting station, and from Sidwell Friends — a prestigious though overloaded with degrees, are likely
was syndicated nationally via PBS. On the private school popular with presidential not as quick with a quip or as willing to use
show, Nye would scramble about the set in offspring from Archibald Roosevelt to Sasha physical comedy to illustrate the laws of
a baby-blue lab coat, meticulously breaking and Malia Obama — he enrolled at Cornell, nature.
down topics including biodiversity, space where he earned a bachelor’s degree in Given all that, Nye may seem an unlikely
travel, gravity, animal locomotion and mechanical engineering. It wasn’t until later, lightning rod for controversy. He advocates
pollution, usually through such antics as after friends had cajoled him into entering only for established scientific beliefs, not
hurling a desktop computer off the roof of a Steve Martin look-alike contest (he won), fringe theories. But he has detractors,
his studio or pretending to be buried by an that he became interested in comedy. some of them vocal, many of them online:
avalanche of trash. He still gets defensive about his academic “Everywhere I go, people will say, ‘Wow,
Bill Nye the Science Guy won 19 Emmy bona fides. In 2016 Sarah Palin disparaged thank you for your work. You’re doing a
awards and was followed by another PBS Nye at a screening of Climate Hustle, a great job.’ But when I look on the electric
series, The Eyes of Nye, and several books. film that questions the accuracy of climate internet, there are a few people who just hate
The latest, Everything All at Once: How science. “He’s a kids’ show actor; he’s not me”, Nye says. “I mean, I get involved in
to Unleash Your Inner Nerd, Tap Into a scientist”, she said. As chilling as it is to debates on purpose.”

11
JULY 2017
"THERE ARE
PEOPLE RUN-
NING AROUND
WHO THINK
THE EARTH
IS FLAT. NO,
IT'S NOT FLAT.
LOOK AT THE
PICTURES
DUDE."
 A popular video on YouTube called censorious “Dude”. If you provoke a “Dude! thread winding its way through our political
“Those 7 Times Bill Nye Went Beast Mode” Dude” you will immediately regret your and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion
contains, despite its title, mostly footage entire approach. that democracy means that ‘my ignorance
of Nye responding calmly and carefully to Montclair’s Wellmont Theater has a seating is just as good as your knowledge’.” The
increasingly hysterical accusations. Trying capacity of about 1800, and I’ve been told crowd applauds. “If the majority is always
to understand popular scepticism in the face the event is “wildly sold out”. Colbert and right”, Colbert asks, “even if the majority
of objectively provable facts could drive Nye meet up before the screening, in the believes something that isn’t true, how does
a less durable man insane. In this, though, make-up room. The previous day, Nye taped science approach that?”
Nye is indefatigable. American culture a segment for The Late Show, to air the “We just try to show the facts as often as
has arguably never been more resistant to following Monday. “You’re just nailing it, we can”, Nye says.
empiricism or more confused about what man”, Nye tells Colbert as a make-up artist •••
objective truth looks like. “There are people applies powder. “And of course, you have so In Bill Nye: Science Guy, interviews with
running around who think the Earth is flat”, much to work with.” some of Nye’s early colleagues suggest that
he says. “I thought it was a joke at first. No, “Almost too much”, Colbert replies. Nye has always wanted to be famous —
it’s not flat. No, you can see — look at the Colbert is a devout Catholic, and Nye that he courts attention. Because he was a
pictures, dude.” He appears worried. “In my is agnostic, but the two seem to have an fixture of so many American childhoods (in
life, science has never before been set aside instinctive rapport. the 1990s, nearly every exhausted science
like this.” Nye watches the film seated near teacher in the US wheeled in a VCR and
••• Colbert. It’s a revealing portrait: Nye has played an episode of Bill Nye the Science
The next time I see Nye is in Montclair, never legally married or had children (he Guy on at least one occasion), he has an
New Jersey, USA, a moneyed suburb about joked to me about his inability to commit uncommon bipartisan appeal. He possibly
25 kilometres west of Manhattan. Bill Nye: to a woman), and he frets about staving off endangers that appeal every time he appears
Science Guy, a recent documentary about his ataxia, a movement disorder characterised by on another conservative talk show and is
life and work, is screening at the Montclair a lack of muscle control. Both of his siblings forced to position himself as part of the
Film Festival, and Nye is there to participate have been diagnosed with the condition, resistance rather than as an apolitical public
in a post-screening Q&A with Stephen which can be caused by a defective gene. thinker. Still, Nye repeats the virtues of
Colbert, Montclair’s most famous resident. Midway through, when footage of Ark science so tirelessly, it’s hard to question his
Before the screening, I chat with the Encounter — the controversial creationist intentions.
security guard manning the backstage theme park in northern Kentucky run by the After the event, I come upon him in the
entrance. He has a wispy postadolescent apologetics ministry Answers in Genesis and green room, lecturing a clump of grinning
mustache and is waving around one of those infamously subsidised by the state — appears acolytes about the efficacy of solar panels.
metal-detection wands. “I want to get a onscreen, a little boy of around six seated I’m struck, again, by the consistency of
picture”, he says. “I’ve been watching Bill directly behind me yells, “That looks fun!” Nye’s vision. He appears to care chiefly,
since pre-K.” Outside the theatre, lined up The boy’s parents frantically shush him. if not exclusively, about just two things:
on the sidewalk, I see a teenager wearing a No doubt they’ve seen Nye’s 2014 debate leaving the world better than he found it (an
T-shirt with the periodic table on the front, with Answers in Genesis president Ken aphorism he learned from his father) and
several children in lab coats and what Ham at the Creation Museum in Petersburg, responsibly educating as many people as
appears to be a formidable collection of high Kentucky. At one point in the debate, the he can. He seems to believe that if he talks
school science teachers. People are waiting moderator, Tom Foreman, asked both men, frequently enough, and loudly enough, about
outside in the rain. “What, if anything, would ever change what’s at stake for the world, his message
Nye arrives at the theatre on time, your mind?” The moment immediately felt will eventually change some minds. This
scurrying from the backseat of a dark SUV demonstrative of something larger, more is how he justifies all those cable-news
toward the venue. When I greet him by the fundamental. Ham was flummoxed by the appearances.
door, right away he asks me how his bow tie question: “I’m a Christian”, he said. “As far Colbert walks a young friend in a bow tie
looks. Nye inquires after his bow tie a lot. as the word of God is concerned, no, no one over for an introduction, and Nye launches into
“It’s very important”, he says. is ever going to convince me that the word a quick lesson on how to properly stage a selfie.
Nye also remembers the name of every of God is not true.” Nye allowed that his He has an educator’s instinct and a claw-like
single person he meets, even if he’s being mind could easily be changed. “We would grip on an iPhone. (He makes a little “Blagh!”
introduced to a whole roomful of new faces just need one piece of evidence”, he said. sound right before snapping the shutter, “to get
at once. He is gently irritated by bullshit Back in Montclair, during the talk-back, people laughing”.) The young man regards Nye
— when I dopily tell him his tie looks Colbert recites an Isaac Asimov passage with a kind of pie-eyed wonder. When fans
“amazing!” he gives me a look like, Come from “A Cult of Ignorance”, an essay come upon him in the flesh, they often look as
IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK.

on — and prefers that hangers-on keep up Asimov wrote for Newsweek in 1980. if they’re meeting Santa Claus. Nye, of course,
with his hyperkinetic pace. He says the word “There is a cult of ignorance in the United would find this comparison absurd. He is, as
dude a lot — more specifically, “Dude!” States, and there has always been. The strain he’ll be the first to tell you, very real. Very
immediately followed by a quieter and more of anti- intellectualism has been a constant human. It’s science. n

13
JULY 2017
Tia
Hurley
Photography by RYAN DWYER Booked by MAINSTREET PRODUCTIONS
Text by JASON FLEETWOOD

14
JULY 2017
 15
JULY 2017
About me
I am a model and yoga instructor in Long Beach
USA. I was born in Fort Carson in Colorado, USA,
but I’ve spent most of my life in California. Modelling
and teaching yoga are both full-time jobs I'm in love
with, I love what I do.

My hobbies and interests

In my spare time, I enjoy riding my beach cruiser
around the city and indoor rock climbing/bouldering
at my favourite gym.

My goals and career ambitions

As for my career goals with yoga, I am currently
in school to become a yoga therapist. My goal is
to one day open my own private clinic or studio
specialising in yoga therapy for the visually impaired
and individuals who have recently come out of
comas. As for modelling, my goal is to continue
getting published, to venture into acting, and to see
where the road takes me. I like surprises.

Who inspires me
Cher. She's the greatest.

My favourite quote
"Music is the emotional life of most people." Leonard
Cohen

Turn on
The rustic outdoorsy look has always been my
favourite. I've never been able to resist it. I also love a
man with a positive easy-going energy. Also, being
an animal lover is a plus.

Turn off
I find cookie cutter men quite boring, it's difficult
to go alongside a person if everything is bland and
plane. Spontaneity is the key.

The perfect date

A day of hiking along the coast when the weather
is overcast.
Complete with homemade lunches and wine.

My favourite food
Red curry with tofu.

My biggest fear
Moths!

One destination I would love to visit

London, England.

I'm not embarrassed to say

When I'm alone, I eat almond butter right out of the
jar with my hands. Even when there's a perfectly
good spoon within reach.

For more awesome updates you can follow Tia on

Instagram @tia_hurley_

16
JULY 2017
 18
JULY 2017
 Bra: 28GG

Waist: 24

Hips: 38

Weight: 128lb

Eye color : Brown

21
JULY 2017
Among adventure-craving millennials, solo travel is becoming the new way
to break free. Unaccompanied excursions are up almost 10 percent since
2013, according to recent data from Millward Brown, and a Topdeck Travel
survey reveals that nearly 30 percent of millennials travelled alone in 2016.
Chalk it up to Instagram’s college-age travel bloggers stoking our impulse
to seek out new horizons — and to platforms like Airbnb allowing us to act
on that impulse without waiting for a friend to sign on. We asked 26-year-
old professional wanderer Jack Morris, who quit his day job at 21 so he could
focus on exploring the farthest corners of the world, to recommend some
destinations that offer both breathtaking sights and other attractions uniquely
suited to the solo traveller — from meditative hikes to private beaches. (With
2.4 million Instagram followers and brands including Disney and Belkin
sliding into his DMs, Morris can be our travel guide any day.) Read on to find
your solo summer adventure, be it a beach hang in Bali, a romp in the Rockies
or something in between. — Nicole Theodore
 Kenya
GREEK ISLANDS
Happy hopping

For the best island-hopping, I recommend

Greece. Santorini has iconic white buildings
and a town called Oia that’s a popular sunset
spot. Everyone thinks Ios is a party island —
and it is — but it’s also a big place to explore;
you can go cliff-jumping into crystal clear
waters or take a scenic drive around the whole
island. Mykonos is famous for its white-and-
blue houses; you’ll feel like you’re on a movie
set. If you want to check out a Greek island off
the beaten path, try Zakynthos (pictured on
opposite page). It’s an easy flight from Athens
and should definitely be at the top of your list.
In the north of Zakynthos you’ll find Navagio,
otherwise known as Shipwreck Beach. Drive
to the top of the cliff and walk around — it has
one of the best views I’ve ever seen. But Milos,
about 100 kilometres north-west of Santorini,
is hands-down my favourite Greek island. It’s
quiet and peaceful, and you can tour aimlessly
on a motorbike, discovering cool shit.

SOUTHEAST ASIA
Alone together

Many people head to Southeast Asia on their

own, so it’s a great place to meet like-minded
travellers. Visitors often take in Thailand,
Cambodia (below), Malaysia, Bali, Vietnam,
Laos and Indonesia on a single adventure, but if
you have to pick just one of those locations, make
it Bali. I’m probably biased — I live there — but
it really does have it all: amazing cafés, beaches,
landscapes, culture and a carefree vibe to match.

Montana Lakes for days

This destination will be closer to home for most of you but no less amazing. When I worked with the Montana
Office of Tourism, most nights I would drive into the Rockies to find the perfect spot to watch the sun go down.
During the day, Glacier National Park’s Lake McDonald (above), with its coloured-stone lake bed and mountain
views, is a must-see. The highlight of my time in Montana was a trek to Cracker Lake — a huge, extremely blue
(and beautiful) lake in the northern part of the state.

23
JULY 2017
MOROCCO
Casablanca style

I once drove through Morocco, which is mostly

desert, in a battered old car that shook when I
got it up to 80 kilometres per hour. I’d be driving
through sandstorms or rain, and the windshield
wipers would stop working. It was actually a
lot of fun. I recommend starting in Marrakech
and renting a car. Camping in the desert was the
highlight of my Morocco trip — I bedded down
outside my tent and fell asleep under a clear
sky with seemingly infinite stars. About 560
kilometres north of Marrakech is Chefchaouen,
also known as the Blue City, where you
can check out blue-washed 15th-century
buildings. Along the way don’t forget to stop in
Casablanca for some Humphrey Bogart vibes.
(Right: Aït Benhaddou, a Moroccan village and
UNESCO World Heritage site.)

JORDAN
A wonder of the world

A lot of people have misconceptions about Jordan

because it’s so close to Syria, but the country is
safe and Jordanians are unbelievably friendly.
You’ll meet a ton of people, but it’s best to make
your own adventure. Visit Petra, Jordan’s famous
archaeological site in the southwestern desert, at
night. Its Siq (entrance) and Treasury are lit by
hundreds of candles. Relax and listen to Bedouin
music while enjoying the view of one of the seven
wonders of the world. (Below: the desert valley of
Wadi Rum.

Sri Lanka Swings and stairs

I’m not a big hiker, but Adam’s Peak in Sri Lanka is incredible. It takes about four hours — up thousands
of stone steps — to reach, but once there you’ll experience incredible mountain views. When I visited
I watched 75-year-old women climbing all the way to the top to perform rituals. Sri Pada (“sacred
footprint”), a six-foot rock formation at the summit, is believed by many to be the footprint of Buddha. If
you’re looking for something closer to sea level, check out the rope swing over the ocean in Unawatuna
(above), on the southern tip of the island.

24
JULY 2017
 THE GEAR
EVERY TRAVEL
NERD NEEDS

Sri Lanka
No shoes, no stress
This island off the northern coast of
Madagascar is paradise. Getting there from
the States is expensive, but if you have a bit
of money and want to clear your mind, it’s
the place for you. It’s also a barefoot island:
The minute you get off the boat, you put your
shoes in your bag. Constance Tsarabanjina,
the small resort there, has a few luxuries but
is kept very natural. The 25 villas are well
spaced, so it’s private. You can walk around
the entire island in about an hour. Definitely
on the to-do list: snorkelling and diving.
The water is the clearest blue and home to
astounding wildlife and reefs.
 Playboy Advisor
Columnist Bridget Phetasy on what to do when man’s best friend turns you into a third
wheel. Plus, advice for a guy whose girlfriend desires a different kind of threesome

Q: I hate dating dog owners. I love animals, but getting close to a

woman with a dog seems impossible. Hear me out: The animal
always comes first. Where and for how long we go on a date de-
pends on when her pet needs to be walked, played with or fed. She can’t
sleep at my place because she has to “take care of the dog.” I’ve recently
been hooking up with a woman I really like, and she’s hinted at getting
serious. I would… but she has a dog. Do I tell her the truth and risk sound-
ing like an asshole by demanding to be number one in her life? — CD

26
JULY 2017
A: Let’s start by agreeing that this isn’t
a “female-dog-owner” issue. All pet
in a state of panic to the point that they’re much
more inclined to settle for someone less than
different times. You shouldn’t feel anything other
than what you’re feeling. You can’t force something
owners, male or female, are bonkers. Have you they deserve. Thirsty is the last thing you want to as important as being ready to take on the massive
ever seen a man whose dog has just died? I’ve seen present yourself as when you match with a woman financial and emotional responsibilities that come
one cry harder over the loss of his dog than over you like. So be honest about what you want, and with marriage and children. By the way, this path
his own mother’s death. Not just cry — weep. Men no matter how much rejection, flakiness or vanity isn’t for everyone. And how can you truly prepare
are just as conscientious as women about tending you face, remain confident that the right woman is for eternal monogamy and kids? You can’t. Most
to their canines. Now, back to your question: Yes, out there looking for something meaningful too. people in successful long-term relationships tell
pets always come first, and they should. They’re Theoretically, all it takes is once. My tip? Behave me they recommit to the relationship one day at
helpless creatures that depend on their owners to exactly the way you behaved when you didn’t a time. Also, life hands us curveballs. Sometimes,
stay alive. I would know. I have a boxer. Does want a relationship. It’s a law of nature that the being ready isn’t about what you can live with; it’s
it suck sometimes? Yes. My dog has interrupted minute you let go, that thing you’ve wanted so what — or whom — you can’t live without. And
me three times since I started writing this. Does badly will come to you. I guarantee that once you upon realising that, voila! — ready or not, you’re
it impinge on my freedom? Absolutely. But that’s embrace single life again, “the one” will show up ready.
what I signed up for when I got a dog, and that’s where you least expect her to.
what you sign up for when you date a woman who
has one. Asking a pet owner to care less about his
Q: I can’t come when I have a condom Q: My girlfriend and I have had many
threesomes with other women, but now
or her dog is like asking a single parent to pay less on, which obviously makes safe sex she wants to have a threesome with another man
attention to his or her kid. So no, I wouldn’t risk awkward with women I don’t know well. Any tips and me. Should I participate even though the idea
“sounding like an asshole by demanding to be on how I should explain this? I assume asking her of her with another man — and the idea of another
number one”, because that’s the moment she’ll to go bareback isn’t an option, right? — PS penis so close to mine — turns me off? — SS
realise… you’re an asshole. If you truly care about
her, start bonding with the dog ASAP. Invite her A: The first sign of an amateur in bed
is someone who resists safe sex. A: There’s often a disconnect between
what turns you on in a fantasy and
and the dog to spend a night at your place. Buy I’m a stickler about it; I make zero exceptions what turns you on in real life, and your brain and
a dog bed. It’s her best friend, and getting on that when it comes to using condoms. Honestly, it your dick aren’t always in agreement. In fact,
animal’s good side will be the key to her heart. trips a warning signal when a man can’t come research has found that in response to watching
Honestly, I don’t trust guys who don’t like dogs. with a condom on, because either (a) he’s not MMF pornography (for the newbies, that’s one
Being a pet owner is a huge responsibility, and an experienced lover, (b) he’s married or (c) woman with two or more guys), men ejaculate
you should respect her for taking it on while still he never practices safe sex. I know I’m with more sperm, ejaculate with more force and get
making time for you. Otherwise, start looking for an accomplished lover when he rolls up with a second erection sooner. Chalk it up to what
a cat lover. his own rubbers. There are no protests and no evolutionary biologists term “sperm competition.”
questions asked. Maybe you’ve been in a long- So don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. I also think it’s

Q: I live in a small city and have been

single for years. Whenever I go on
term relationship for most of your sexual history
and are just now single again. If so, allow me:
only fair. Unless you expressly said “I will never
entertain the idea of another dick in this equation”
dating apps, I come across the same people — Condoms are an irritating but mandatory aspect of at the start of your threesome journey, you owe it
some of whom I’ve already dated — over and over single life, and the sooner you get used to them, to her to open your mind and give it a shot at least
again. Swiping through pictures and having inane the better. Some tricks: Use the thinnest ones you once. If you hate every minute, you never have
text interactions with strangers always leaves me can find and put a couple drops of water-safe lube to do it again. But you may find your dick loves
feeling empty. I know I’m ready for a relationship, on both the inside and the outside of the condom. watching her get fucked, you naughty cuck, you.
but I worry that the willingness and excitement in A lot of this is psychological. Men tell themselves,
my messages rub women the wrong way. What can
I do to make sure I don’t come off as too eager?
“I can’t stay hard when I put a condom on.” Get
over it. Practice putting one on and keeping it on Q: I don’t like my girlfriend’s friends.
I’d rather do my taxes than go to her
— CA while you masturbate at home. Sure, safe sex can friend’s barbeque, where I’ll be forced to engage

A: Trust me, I live in a big city and even

I feel this way. When you’re single
be “awkward”, but once you get past that amateur
view, you’ll realise not only is it for the best, it
in basic small talk. Is our relationship doomed, or
is there a way I can do my own thing? — JE
long enough, every city becomes small. I get it.
But remember, you spent a lot of years enjoying
can also be part of foreplay. And no, asking her
to “go bareback” is not an option. Also, not an A: It’s important to carve out personal
time, but relationships are about
your bachelor life, and there was a time when option: asking her to suck your dick instead. If she compromise, which, from the sound of it, you
those “inane text interactions” made you feel offers, well, that’s on her, but you’re not entitled to suck at. If that’s the case, all your relationships
alive instead of dead inside. Just because you’re an orgasm, and she isn’t required to give you one. are doomed — not just this one. Everyone must
ready to settle down with an adorable wife and engage in small talk on some level. But that’s a
get your breed on doesn’t mean it’s going to
happen immediately. Don’t get jaded. Don’t get Q: I’m 31 years old. Should I feel ready to
settle down and have children? I don’t.
separate issue. More important, your girlfriend’s
friends are a strong indicator of the kind of person
anxious. Desperation is never a good look, and — LB she is. You need to ask yourself if the company
humans can smell needy pheromones a million
miles away. People tend to make bad decisions A: Haven’t you heard? Forty-one is the
new 31. Look, everyone comes of age at
she keeps is a deal breaker for you. If so, get out,
because it’s only gonna get worse.

ILLUSTRATION BY ZOHAR LAZAR

27
JULY 2017
HIGH-SPEED
AMERICAN
DREAMS
A futuristic transport system envisioned by Elon Musk.
A wave of international students striving to make it
real. And a violent encounter in the Silicon Prairie
By ADAM SKOLNICK
January 29, 2017 was a warm winter day in more incredible than we ever realised”. The crowd were hot at Los Angeles International Airport as
southern California, USA. The sky was hazy, and buzzed, high on the possibilities of yet another protesters there demanded the release of travellers
white light bounced off the road running between Elon Musk dream-wave. After the speeches, detained under the ban. And here I was, a stone’s
SpaceX headquarters and the ass-end of a Costco. observers finally got a chance to see in action a throw from America’s neo-industrial darling Elon
Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti, standing at a few of the 27 prototypes. Cameras mounted inside Musk, South African immigrant and one-time
lectern next to SpaceX founder Elon Musk, called the tube recorded the pods’ runs, with the feeds international student turned unapologetic advisor
this paved slice of post-industrial heaven “the projected on nearby flatscreens. It took each pod to the new president.
cradle of aerospace”. I had come for a glimpse more than 30 minutes to load and depressurise; as As I chatted with the UC students, an
of the future — not in the hangars housing the I waited, I walked down the road where the teams approaching scrum behind me captured their
company’s beautiful minds and rocket ships, but had their booths. Here was Keio Alpha, a cash- attention. In a bubble created by SpaceX PR cadets
in the pipeline-like tube directly behind the mayor strapped team that had smuggled its miniature pod and a towering bodyguard, Musk floated from
and Musk. Six feet in diameter, it ran on a 1.6km from Tokyo in a carry-on bag. There was Delft booth to booth, talking shop with the star-struck
track adjacent to the SpaceX complex. University of Technology, a Dutch team awash in contestants. I drifted away, more fascinated by the
“Today”, Garcetti said, “we are looking at the corporate sponsorship. I spotted Carnegie Mellon students and their stories than by the technology.
very first Hyperloop pods. This is the future of and MIT but was quickly drawn to the University I thought of them again a few weeks later, after
transportation”. of Cincinnati booth, where the 30 students on the I learned that a gunman in suburban Kansas City
I was among 2000 sweaty technophiles Hyperloop UC team couldn’t stop smiling. Most had shot two 32-year-old Indian engineers in a
packed onto two sets of metallic grandstands at of them were from India, though others hailed bar. Srinivas Kuchibhotla and Alok Madasani had
the finals of the first-ever SpaceX Hyperloop Pod from Jordan and Vietnam. both attended grad school in the US before landing
Competition. Also on site were 800 members “We were the first to achieve static levitation”, jobs at Garmin, the world leader in commercial
of 27 competing teams, mainly from academic said a 26-year-old structural-engineering student navigation technology, which snagged them
institutions. The finalists had been distilled from from Pune. No wonder they were giddy. They’d coveted H-1B visas. Kuchibhotla and Madasani
more than 1200 applicants around the world. That made a vehicle float on air! Still, my mind were, in a sense, the Hyperloop UC students seven
day, only three of the teams would successfully drifted toward another phenomenon: being an years from now: brilliant engineers who left home
run their pods on the SpaceX Hyperloop test track. international student from, say, India or Jordan, seeking the American dream, hungry to innovate
Like many Californians, I’d been thrilled and living in red state Ohio in 2017. and change the world.
when the high-speed rail project, Proposition 1A, Hyperloop UC was no anomaly; 20 of the As the gunman approached them that evening,
passed in 2008. It meant we would finally have 27 teams represented US schools, several of he yelled, “Get out of my country!” Then he pulled
a bullet train connecting LA to San Francisco in them in states that had tilted Trump. Many teams the trigger.
under three hours — normally at least a seven- were stocked with international talent, mostly •••
hour car trip. Musk hated the idea, so he outlined from India — which makes sense. During the Hyperloop sounds futuristic, but the concept
an alternative scheme, called Hyperloop, that 2015–2016 school year, more than 1 million isn’t new. It’s based on a simple law of physics:
he presented as an open-source white paper in international students attended US universities, Momentum creates resistance, or drag. Most
2013. In Musk’s vision, passengers would pay most coming from China or India to study science of the fuel consumed by any vehicle is burned
$20 to board levitating, capsule-like vehicles, or engineering. I wasn’t surprised to see that to overcome this drag, which is why aeroplanes
called “pods”, that would zip through tubes on reflected at the competition, but the timing made travel at high altitudes, where the air is thinner.
a bed of air at a cruising speed of 1200km/h, it poignant. Just two days earlier, after a campaign However, air can be thinned in an enclosed space,
just shy of the speed of sound. Total travel time brimming with anti-immigrant rhetoric, President which increases speed and energy efficiency on
between the two cities would be 35 minutes, and Donald Trump had signed a travel ban on citizens the ground.
the environmentally sustainable system would from six Muslim-majority countries. Futurists have been evolving and patenting
supposedly cost less than 10 percent of Prop 1A’s Granted, the executive order didn’t directly versions of the transportation system since
$64 billion budget. affect the UC students. None came from the 1915, but thanks to his company Tesla and its
In the four years that followed, several banned countries, and only one is Muslim, but commitment to solar, Musk is America’s leading
companies assembled around the idea. Yet none Trump has repeatedly criticised the 26-year-old innovator in alternative energy and transportation.
had managed to build pods, which raised the H-1B visa program, which has become a popular So, when he described a netzero-energy
question: Will we ever get to enjoy this magical way for companies to hire skilled high-tech transportation system that zooms through solar-
ride? foreign employees and for international students panel-lined tubes — dialled to the atmospheric-
Enter the international student body. to work in the US after graduation. Plus, Indians pressure equivalent of flying at an altitude above
“What this [competition] is intended to do is are often viewed as Middle Eastern terrorists 150 000 feet, connecting two of the nation’s great
to encourage innovation in transport technology”, by America’s racist immigration foes — who, cities in less time than it takes to fly — it had a
Musk said that afternoon, “to get people to think as Aziz Ansari said on Saturday Night Live the profound ripple effect.
about doing things in a way that’s not just a repeat day after Trump’s inauguration, are “not usually Musk’s 2013 white paper, “Hyperloop Alpha”,
of the past but to explore the boundaries of physics geography buffs”. reached Dhaval Shiyani, Hyperloop UC’s eventual
and see what’s really possible. I think we’ll find it’s The afternoon of January 29, the streets captain, two years after its release. A 26-year-old

ILLUSTRATION BY MATTHEW LYONS

29
JULY 2017
 1

fluid-dynamics researcher in the University of competition, but if they were to be selected to made the finals but didn’t finish in the top five,
Cincinnati Aerospace lab, he was working the present their concept to the 80-judge panel at which would have provided seed money to start
graveyard shift in dorm security when he stumbled Texas A&M in January 2016, they needed cash building a pod. So Hyperloop UC had to raise its
upon the document online. This is something that and more brainpower. Shiyani knew whom to call. six-figure budget from scratch.
could and should happen, he thought, so why Sid Thatham, 26, landed at the University Thatham knew from his experience in student
hadn’t it? Shortly after Musk announced the of Cincinnati from Chennai in 2012 to study government that money was often buried in
inaugural Hyperloop competition on Twitter in engineering, only to discover he was a born department budgets, so he went mining for it. He
June 2015, Shiyani began to pitch it to friends connector. Thatham was everywhere on campus. tweeted Ono from Texas and met with him as soon
in the engineering department. Eventually he He tapped into nearly every student group, as he returned. As a result, the team scored $50 000.
gathered a group of five classmates, all of them became student body president and befriended The engineering school also kicked in five figures,
from India, around a conference table. “All of us university vice president Santa Ono. All this in as did the provost. Meanwhile, Shiyani filled out
knew in the back of our minds that if there is any addition to working toward a Master’s degree in the technical team, and two local family-owned
place in the world where we can get this done, it is chemical engineering while pursuing an MBA. manufacturers signed on to provide materials and
America”, he says. Still, Thatham found room in his schedule for guidance: Tri-State Fabricators built the pod’s
Born and raised in Mumbai, Shiyani always Hyperloop. It was the kind of opportunity that frame at no cost, and Cincinnati Incorporated
wanted to be an astronaut; growing up in one of the had inspired him to study here. “The US is still sourced materials and provided guidance.
world’s most densely populated cities could make the land of opportunity”, says Thatham, who All of which set the stage for an epic all-nighter
anyone want to rocket through thin air and float became the team’s business lead. “You can work leading up to the pod’s unveiling at UC’s alumni
above the mayhem. He read up on Neil Armstrong on futuristic, life-changing things. That’s how lots centre on October 17, 2016. The team knew that
and the early Apollo missions. As the years passed, of international students see it.” no pod had yet achieved levitation. This was an
Shiyani’s life swirled with Americana. First came Instead of mimicking Musk’s LA-to-SF opportunity to snag an engineering first. For much
classic pop culture: Friends and Seinfeld. Then blueprint, Shiyani, Thatham and friends detailed of the pizza and caffeine-fuelled session, there
Steve Jobs released the iPod, Shiyani’s first true a Hyperloop Midwest that would connect were no errors, yet no joy.
love, and his GPS was locked on the US. “It was Cincinnati to Chicago in 30 minutes. Competition Finally, just after nine AM, the pod rose. It
the fairy-tale story”, he says. “It’s where all the was stiff, but Hyperloop UC survived two cuts and floated only a few millimetres, but levitation had
great inventions seem to come from. It’s the land was invited to Texas as one of 124 teams selected. been achieved. The team went wild.
where your dreams come true.” The teammates perfected their presentation on the At two PM, Shiyani and Thatham unveiled
Hyperloop UC’s initial 2015 meetings were 30-hour road trip to College Station, stopping in a their pod in front of their teammates, university
all high-concept. Nobody had built a tube or a Starbucks for a vital wi-fi infusion. Their proposal trustees, manufacturing partners and state-wide
pod. Shiyani was confident his team could scratch impressed the judging panel, which included media. Everyone was floored. What began as a
out a workable system for their first filing in the faculty members and SpaceX engineers. They Shiyani thought bubble had encompassed dozens
of students from all backgrounds, the school
administration and private industry, and become
Foreign students contribut- a point of pride for the entire city. Somewhere
ed more than $30 billion outside that bubble, a bitter presidential
campaign rumbled, but inside the alumni centre,
and 400 000 jobs to the Democrats, Republicans, native-born Americans
and immigrants had come together to achieve
US economy last year. something unprecedented, and they left the

30
JULY 2017
 2

unveiling believing their team had a chance at had originally met at Rockwell Collins, an Iowa came out to give them hugs. “It was their way
winning the whole damn thing. engineering firm, in 2008, and when Kuchibhotla of saying ‘We have your back’”, Adams says.
••• landed a coveted job at Garmin in 2014, he The men were touched, and since they weren’t
Flash forward four months to the suburbs of recruited Madasani to join him. “He was more carrying any cash, they ordered another round
north-east Kansas. Olathe, a city of 133 000 than a friend”, he says. “He was my family.” on a credit card so they could tip the staff. What
and the seat of Johnson County, is set roughly Moments after they arrived at Austins, Adam was ugly had turned beautiful, and they wanted to
30 kilometres south-west of Kansas City and Purinton, 51, a Navy vet turned air traffic controller show their gratitude.
is pure Rockwell 2.0. The air is fresh, the shady turned out-of-work IT specialist, bellied up to the They were still at their table 30 minutes later
streets are dotted with affordable single-family bar. He nursed a beer before wandering out to when Purinton returned. This time he walked
homes sporting basketball hoops and American the patio, where he approached the engineers. straight toward the patio, wearing a white scarf
flags, and thanks to a two-decade infusion of He asked if they were in the country legally and over his mouth and holding a gun. Before he
tech capital, it’s now the centre of the Silicon reportedly shouted a racial slur loud enough to could turn around Madasani heard someone yell,
Prairie, an area that spreads like golden grain attract attention. The guys ignored Purinton, “He’s back with a gun, man!” Then Purinton said
across Kansas, Missouri, Iowa and Nebraska. and Madasani went inside to alert management. what he said and started blasting. Kuchibhotla
Families from Africa, Asia, Latin America and Another patron, Ian Grillot, 24, intervened and was hit three times. Madasani tried to escape and
the Middle East have moved in, and Olathe’s helped escort Purinton out. was shot once, through the thigh. Both men fell to
school district teaches students who collectively Kuchibhotla, a graduate of the University the ground, and Purinton took off running. Grillot
speak 84 different languages. Indians make up of Texas at El Paso with a master’s in electrical had been hiding under a table, counting gunshots.
the largest immigrant group in the county, which engineering, and Madasani, who studied Assuming Purinton was out of bullets, Grillot
explains the spice shops and restaurants, the Sikh engineering at the University of Missouri – chased him as he headed around the corner.
and Hindu temples, and the Bollywood hits at the Kansas City, were among the 100 or so Garmin After about 30 feet, Purinton turned and fired
local AMC theatre. Most international residents employees in the US on valid H-1B visas. In recent again. Grillot was shot through the hand, forearm
work at major corporations such as Sprint, Cerner, years that program has been tainted by loopholes and chest but would survive. Patrons and staff
Honeywell and of course Garmin, Olathe’s that enabled Indian outsourcing agencies to attended to the wounded men, who were rushed
homegrown navigation-technology firm and the bring over foreign-educated workers to replace to KU Medical Center in Kansas City.
city’s second-largest employer in 2015. Its steel- American staffers at reduced salaries. That has Purinton resurfaced at an Applebee’s in
and-glass headquarters are filled with industrial- led to midlife layoffs for many Americans, who Clinton, Missouri, where he confessed to the
design studios, engineering labs and flight have occasionally been asked to help train their bartender that he had just killed “two Middle
simulators — and it’s just down the road from replacements. Instead of closing that loophole Eastern men” and was on the run. The bartender
Austins, Olathe’s most popular sports bar. That’s or refining an otherwise productive program kept him calm while she secretly dialled the
where Srinivas Kuchibhotla and Alok Madasani, that has enabled US-educated engineers such as authorities. Around the same time, police drove to
friends who worked in Garmin’s aviation group, Kuchibhotla and Madasani to establish residency Kuchibhotla’s home. They rang the doorbell and
landed around six PM on February 22. and contribute to the American economy, Trump informed his wife, Sunayana Dumala, that her
The two well-known regulars, nicknamed vowed time and again during the campaign to husband was dead.
by staff “the Jameson guys” after their preferred dismantle the H-1B program. Like gunshots in the suburban night, word
sipping whisky, sat at a table on a small, sheltered With the energy spoiled, the guys asked for of the shooting echoed through the social media
A-frame patio strung with white Christmas their check, but according to one of the bar’s feeds of the local Indian community and in the
lights to enjoy a smoke. “That was our place to owners, Kirk Adams, another patron had already halls of tech firms and temples. A candlelight vigil
hang out after work”, Madasani tells me. They picked it up. Instead, all the waitresses on staff was held at First Baptist Church. Garmin held its

31
JULY 2017
 3

own memorial two days after the incident, and a the competition in California. Sid Thatham’s 1. Hyperloop UC celebrated months of all-nighters with a
West Coast sunset after the first pod competition.
temporary shrine was set up in front of Austins, schedule is so full he seldom goes home to the
2. A design sketch from "Hyperloop Alpha, "Musk's 57-
where mourners placed flowers. The first bouquet two-bedroom apartment he shares with three page open invite to realise his Jetsons-like transport
came from Kuchibhotla’s family in India — an friends. He has eight classes and two part-time system. 3. A rendering of Hyperloop UC's pod.
offering to the bar’s staff and owners, a gesture jobs, continues to lead Hyperloop UC’s business
of shared grief. unit and remains involved in student government, economy last year and created or supported more
Johnson County charged Purinton with first- which is why he sleeps on his office floor and than 400 000 jobs.
degree murder on February 23. He’s looking at 50 showers in the gym four days a week. But he Those are just the hard numbers. Although the
years with no parole. The FBI immediately began never complains, because he knows the rule. majority of the Hyperloop UC team members are
to investigate the incident as a hate crime. Whether Momentum creates drag. Indian, several Americans jumped onboard early,
or not those charges are filed, hate does appear to His reward for all this hard work is a ticking and even more are involved now. Julian Gregory,
be the primary motive, and you can add it to an clock. “It starts the minute I get my degree”, he a Cincinnati native and undergraduate industrial-
expanding blotter. The Southern Poverty Law says. Those on student visas have 60 days to either design student who joined as a freshman in
Center, the nation’s leading antidiscrimination get a job, and the coveted H-1B visa that comes 2016, would like to see his teammates have the
group, has recorded 1,863 “bias-related with it, or head home. He’s scheduled to graduate option to remain stateside and compete. “These
incidents” between Election Day and March in August. “The school has career development guys are geniuses”, he says. “They’re coming to
31. According to Heidi Beirich, Director of the centres. They can put you in touch with people our country to contribute something innovative,
SPLC Intelligence Project, 40 to 50 incidents per with job openings, but will they be able to hire and I don’t think that should be understated or
month is typical; she believes the recent increase international students?” Some of that depends on undervalued.”
has to do with the political discourse peddled by the president. Like Thatham, Shiyani is set to graduate this
Trump and his supporters. “We’ve been tracking On April 18, Trump signed an executive order summer. Whether or not he’s granted an H-1B visa,
the relationship between political rhetoric and that placed the H-1B visa in jeopardy. “You feel his efforts will live on. Although Hyperloop UC
hate crime statistics for some time”, she says, like you have a chip on your shoulder”, Thatham won’t be at Hyperloop Pod Competition II inAugust,
“and we’ve noticed when a population has been says. “You have to keep proving yourself at every the team hopes to build their own Hyperloop-like
demonised by popular political figures there tends stage. I just have to keep working as hard as I can link in Cincinnati, between the university’s east
to be an uptick in hate crimes”. and hope it pays off.” and west campuses. The pods won’t travel at high
I arrived in Olathe five weeks after the The departure of people like Thatham, who speeds, but they will levitate, and with the school
shooting and spoke to dozens of people across the in April won the University of Cincinnati’s already behind the project, it’s a good bet it will be
ethnic and political spectrums still shaken by the Presidential Medal of Graduate Student the world’s first functional transportation system
violence. I visited a mosque where immigrants Excellence, is unlikely to benefit the US economy. of its kind. Meanwhile, Shiyani is working to set
from Algeria, Pakistan, Palestine, Syria, Yemen According to a 2016 report from the Kauffman up what he calls an “Advanced Transportation
and Egypt gather to pray. It’s not lost on them that Foundation, “more than half of America’s Research Center” at the engineering school. It will
Purinton’s bullets were meant for Muslims. Still, ‘unicorn’ start-ups have at least one immigrant focus on pods, drones and autonomous and electric
a poster decorated with hearts, left at the mosque’s founder, and immigrants are nearly twice as cars. Soon the university will be better equipped to
doorstep after the shooting, hangs on a wall inside. likely as the native-born to start a new company”. educate American and international engineers and
It reads, in part, YOU BELONG. The loss of H-1B opportunities may also to shape the future of transportation. All because an
••• discourage foreign students, who, according to ambitious Indian kid working the graveyard shift
Back in Cincinnati, the Hyperloop UC team NAFSA: Association of International Educators, read the futurist musings of another immigrant
regroups after a series of setbacks cost them contributed more than $30 billion to the US engineer who had his own American dream. n

32
JULY 2017
 The
PLAYBOY PHILOSOPHY INSTALLMENT II: FEMINISM

By COOPER HEFNER
Feminism. Like love, the word holds a lot — or, for that matter, their own sexual and always will be more than sex objects.
of different meanings to a lot of different objectivity. Setting aside the fact that we’ve made that
people. At first glance, feminism has a simple In 1963, freelance journalist and future same point continually for nearly 64 years,
definition — advocating women’s rights and feminist icon Gloria Steinem authored a PLAYBOY pointed out a fallacy that often
equality between the sexes — and yet it still popular piece for Show magazine outlining accompanies this line of thought: that sex
carries a lingering undertone, prompting as her point of view on the negative work itself is the enemy. To us, that perception
much debate today as it has over the past environment at one of the Playboy Clubs. is an exact contradiction of what feminism
century. Along the way, PLAYBOY has Although the internet wasn’t around at the is and indicates a detachment from healthy
been both a defender of the movement and, time, stating the article went viral would be human desires.
depending on whom you ask, its enemy. an appropriate comparison today. Among I’m reminded of a point my dad made in
The relationship between PLAYBOY and her findings was that the Bunny Manual, a Esquire back in 2002:
feminism began during the latter’s second guide for all new hires, contained reminders “Women are the major beneficiary of
wave. Having secured the right to vote with that there are “many pleasing means [the the sexual revolution. It permitted them to
the ratification of the 19th Amendment in waitresses] can employ to stimulate the Club’s be natural sexual beings, as men are. That’s
1920, American women started taking aim at liquor volume.” In the ensuing national debate, where feminism should have been all along.
social as well as political targets after World it became clear that the target was shifting Unfortunately, within feminism, there has
War II. An American renaissance was afoot as from the ballot box to the bedroom. been a puritan, prohibitionist element that is
the country drove into the 1950s, promoting Half a century later, as we navigate the anti-sexual.”
a national conversation about sexual mores current wave of feminism in real time, we While much of this rings true, I disagree
and gender roles. This shift in mindset, which find ourselves in a bit of a grey area. Many with his main assertion here. We are all
unfurled over the next two decades, ushered in of today’s feminist influencers, including equal beneficiaries of the sexual revolution,
a cultural and societal revolution. Above all, the Beyoncé, Ellen DeGeneres and Lena because it allowed both men and women to
second wave challenged the place of women in Dunham, have celebrated PLAYBOY while state, in a collective voice, we all like sex.
a society that expected them to serve as docile honouring the work of pioneering feminists Every intelligent man and woman should
housewives and not own their sexuality. like Steinem. If cultural heavyweights like desire to be a sex object. Demonising that
PLAYBOY occupied an overlapping these can balance both philosophies in their desire denies an essential component of what
space, using its pages to explore the minds, then the question arises again: What makes us human, of what allows us to connect
curiosities of sex, champion the rights of is feminism? on a level that is oftentimes challenging to
the individual and redefine what it meant To us, the answer is simple. It’s the right for articulate in words — of what permits our
to be an unapologetic critical thinker, while one to freely choose the life she wants to live. very existence. Simply put, conscious and
celebrating pleasure. Our pictorials didn’t just The problem is less about the definition of consensual objectification of self and other is
scare religious radicals; they also disturbed feminism and more about how we interpret what keeps the world going round.
and offended many feminists. It became sex today. Throughout the 1960s and 1970s There will be other waves, and we will
common practice in many feminist circles to Steinem and other feminists made necessary participate in those too. But as we continue
equate PLAYBOY with the regressive male arguments for the time, often targeting to ride this one, it is clear as day that
gatekeepers of the United States who insisted PLAYBOY in the process. They stood PLAYBOY’s Philosophy today as well as
that women weren’t entitled to subjectivity up and announced that women were, are tomorrow is as feminist as it gets. n

ILLUSTRATION BY KATIE BAILIE

35
JULY 2017
 CHRISTOPHER
INTERVIEW: NOLAN
PLAYBOY
A candid conversation with the filmmaker on the through-lines that bind his sprawling canon — from Me-
mento to the Dark Knight trilogy to his new World War II epic

The gateway to the Los Angeles compound of observes a character in Following, Nolan’s self- Matthew, and the youngest, Jonathan, Nolan grew
Christopher Nolan, director-screenwriter of such financed 1998 feature film debut. Indeed: Inside up in London and Chicago. Dazzled by his first
cosmic brain-twisters as Inception, Interstellar the soaring structure, light-suffused but somehow viewing of Star Wars in 1977, he borrowed his
and the Dark Knight trilogy, is a bit of an illusion, hushed and Batman moody, the living room is father’s Super 8 camera and began to make short
a false front. Visible from the tree-lined street is done up in cool, muted tones and furnished with films starring his action figures.
a gated, late-1930s Spanish-style home with a low-slung chairs. Connecting shelves neatly lined Nolan attended Haileybury and Imperial Service
generic economy car squatting in the driveway. with books reach the ceiling. A large framed photo College and, later, University College London,
With the right lighting, the location could serve of Stanley Kubrick’s empty director’s chair, a gift which he sought out for its filmmaking facilities.
as one of those ostensibly benign and potentially from Interstellar star Matthew McConaughey, There he met his wife-to-be, and with the techni-
lethal southern California backdrops in Memento, occupies a place of honour. The abode, like the cal equipment the school afforded its students he
Nolan’s noirish 2000 thriller about a man with 46-year-old writer-director-producer who inhabits began to spend his off-hours shooting the short
faulty short-term memory who struggles to find it, along with his wife, producer Emma Thomas, films Tarantella (1989) and Larceny (1996).
his wife’s murderer. Nolan once resided here, but exudes good taste, intelligence, confidence — and Upon graduating, Nolan travelled the world,
now it serves as his postproduction facility; the a certain mysterious formality. shooting corporate training videos and filming
garage contains his editing suite. Exit the build- Christopher Nolan, creator of some of the most another short, Doodlebug (1997), in which a man
ing’s rear doors and the bottom drops out as dra- ambitious and challenging blockbusters of the driven to distraction by an insect finally hammers
matically as one of the trapdoors in The Prestige, past 20 years — grossing more than $4.2 billion it with his shoe — only to discover he has flat-
Nolan’s 2006 tale of two rival magicians. A ram- in global aggregate box office and counting — tened a tiny version of himself. In 2000, he and
bling expanse of green gives way to another head- was born in London on July 30, 1970. His father, Thomas married; today they have four children.
spinning shift: Nolan’s primary residence, a much Brendan Nolan, ran his own marketing consul- In 1996, Nolan began shooting and Thomas
larger and more modern setup that recalls the bold tancy, and his American mother, Christina, was a began co-producing, on weekends, the self-
serenity of a Frank Lloyd Wright design. flight attendant and later taught English. The mid- financed, micro-budgeted Following, in which
“You can tell a lot about people from their stuff”, dle brother of three, wedged between the eldest, Jeremy Theobald plays a struggling writer who,

"The Dark Knight Rises expresses what I'm "When I was about seven, my dad lent me "Dunkirk is all about physical process, all
afraid of -that our shared values and our his Super 8 camera, which at the time was about tension in the moment, not backstories.
cherished institutions are far more fragile expensive and high-end. I literally taped it to It's all about 'Can this guy get across a plank
than we realize." the bottom of our car and smashed it to bits." over this hole?'"

PHOTOGRAPHY BY GAVIN BOND

36
JULY 2017
desperate for raw material, shadows strangers PLAYBOY: The Dark Knight trilogy, like most of PLAYBOY: Considering that fear, how pessimis-
through London and uncovers more about the your films, is drenched in paranoia, guilt, chaos tic or optimistic are you that our shared values and
city’s criminal underbelly than he bargained for. and powerful depictions of societal collapse. cherished institutions will survive?
Mounting success and acclaim followed, as well What scares and unsettles you in real life? NOLAN: When the chips are down, I’ve got a lot
as a few unrealized projects (including an as-yet NOLAN: In today’s world, anarchy scares me the of faith in humanity and faith that things will work
unfilmed Howard Hughes movie, which Nolan most. Both the Joker in The Dark Knight and Bane out. Some of my friends will be amused to hear
considers his best script), but everything changed in The Dark Knight Rises tap into things that are me say that I’m an optimist, because I often pre-
when, girded by the good reviews and box office very powerful to me in terms of the breakdown sent myself in a very pessimistic light. I worry and
for 2002’s Insomnia, he met with Warner Bros. of society. With Bane, it’s the fear of demagogu- complain about a lot of things in today’s world.
brass to propose a more relatable reboot of Bat- ery and where that can lead. The Dark Knight I want the world to be better than it is right now,
man. Three angsty and financially dizzying Dark Rises is far more extreme in that regard than I and I have faith that, eventually, it will be. Right
Knight films later, Nolan found himself atop the think anybody realised while watching it. In the now, though, it’s looking like we are condemned
moviemaking universe, praised as a rare film- first two Batman films, we’d had the threat of the to live in interesting times. The thing that appals
maker who could breathe eccentricity, high art breakdown of society, the threat of things going me about the state we find ourselves in is that it
and bracing intelligence into the behemoth-scale horribly wrong. With The Dark Knight Rises, we feels increasingly self-inflicted. We were making
international blockbuster. As one critic put it, No- wanted to make a film in which we said, “Okay, great progress in the world. Things were going
lan and company helped wipe “the smirk off the let’s actually go there”, so we thought about peo- well. We had two generations of prosperity, two
face of the superhero movie”. ple in Manhattan being dragged out of their Park generations in the West that didn’t have direct ex-
With an unbroken string of hits from Memento Avenue homes. We really tried to go there, and perience of war. I’m very frightened that this leads
right up through 2014’s Interstellar, Nolan is now people to not remember how wrong things can go
about to unveil Dunkirk, a brawny, la- in this world.
conic World War II passion project that PLAYBOY: The power of dreams and
stars Tom Hardy, Mark Rylance and
Kenneth Branagh, among others —
The thing that nightmares is one of your many themes
in Inception and elsewhere. Do you
including pop star Harry Styles in his
first substantial acting gig. Even to crit- appalls me about have persistent dreams or nightmares?
NOLAN: I’ve never fought in a war.

the state we find

ics and fans who have been prodding It’s my worst nightmare to do so.
Nolan to make a more obviously per- PLAYBOY: A majority of critics and
sonal movie, the PG-13-rated Dunkirk fans seem to welcome the nonlinear
is a high-stakes gamble — but then,
the same could be said of every other ourselves in is storytelling, complexity, ambiguity and
cutting-edge science you bring to your

that it feels
project he’s taken on. We’ll soon know movies. Do your detractors ever con-
whether Nolan’s obsessive internet su- front you about making movies that are
perfans, dubbed “Nolanites”, will fol- too chilly or just plain baffling?
low their celluloid god into theatres to
watch a real-life saga of self-sacrifice, increasingly NOLAN: I’ve had a lot of that re-
sponse. I’ve skipped out of the back of

self-inflicted.
heroism and esprit de corps. movie theaters — like at the end of In-
Stephen Rebello, who last interviewed ception — before people could catch up
Matthew McConaughey for Playboy, to me. Alan Parker once observed that
spent an afternoon at Nolan’s live- all cinema is manipulative, and I sup-
work compound and filed this report: “Nolan’s we did, and I think we got away with that one. pose that’s true. I try not to be overly manipulative
unblinking gaze, rich vocabulary and agile [laughs] — or I try not to be obvious about it. That gives
mind make it clear that he is, indeed, the vision- PLAYBOY: Got away with it because some mov- people a little more freedom to interpret the mov-
ary who, in Inception, sent Leonardo DiCaprio ie-goers and critics completely miss that kind of ies their way, bring what they want to it. I’ve had
through the City of Light as it folds in on itself. pointed political commentary when it’s couched people write about my films as being emotionless,
Volleying ideas with him can almost make one in a comic-book movie? yet I have screened those same movies and people
feel like a character in one of his films — ab- NOLAN: I never saw these films as comic-book have been in floods of tears at the end. It’s an im-
sorbed, spooked and often a step or two behind. movies. My thought was, I am going to try to possible contradiction for a filmmaker to resolve.
As he sipped cup after cup of Earl Grey tea, he let make great movies first and foremost. But an In truth, it’s one of the things that is really exciting
our conversation range from the nerdy (Brown- iconic character like Batman does give you cer- about filmmaking, though. I seem to be making
ian motion) to the playful (the irrefutable appeal tain latitude with the audience. They’ll follow films that serve as Rorschach tests.
of Harry Styles). He is averse to pettiness and you to places they wouldn’t follow you without PLAYBOY: So, unlike old-time Hollywood di-
bullshit, and though candid, he pumps the brakes that familiar icon in the centre. The Dark Knight rector Howard Hawks, who admitted that even
when the conversation drifts outside his comfort Rises expresses what I’m afraid of — that our he couldn’t make heads or tails of the plot of his
zone. Several of his associates warned me that shared values and our cherished institutions are classic 1940s detective thriller The Big Sleep, you
this interview would be ‘uncharted waters’ for a far more fragile than we realise. A lot more peo- can explain every twist and turn of your movies?
man as private as Nolan. But he navigated the ple than there were a year ago are as afraid of NOLAN: I think Hawks knew exactly what was
sometimes choppy seas just fine.” that as I am now. going on but was probably making a point about

37
JULY 2017
what matters. Premise matters as opposed to plot place. sandbag and realising I’d offended the crew be-
— plot being the stuff than can fall away. I have to PLAYBOY: Checking out another rumour, can cause that’s not my job. I’ve always felt I should
be fully in control of the mechanism and underly- you be reached by e-mail? dress just the way I dress when I’m writing or do-
ing reality of the film, even if I want an ambiguous NOLAN: No. I don’t have an e-mail address. ing anything else. I dress the way I’m comfort-
response from the audience. I had an interesting PLAYBOY: If I were given a phone number, told able, because directing isn’t a physical job for me.
moment with my brother Jonathan during the it was yours and decided to call it—— PLAYBOY: Everything looks uncomfortable
Venice Film Festival in 2000, the first time we NOLAN: Nothing would ring. I don’t have one. — and physical and immersive — in your new
ever showed Memento publicly. I had no idea [laughs] movie, Dunkirk, about the evacuation of Allied
whether we would get booed out of the cinema, PLAYBOY: And you don’t allow cellphones on soldiers who were cut off and surrounded by the
but we got a standing ovation that went on and set? German army during World War II’s Battle of
on. Afterwards, I was asked at a press conference NOLAN: I don’t tolerate distraction, so I don’t France.
what the meaning of the ending was, and I gave tolerate people using their phones on set because NOLAN: I’ve been drawn to the story over many,
my response. While I was having dinner with my they are exiting the bubble of our creative process, many years. It’s not a battle as such; it’s an evacu-
brother later, he said, “You can’t ever do that.” I exiting the reality we’re creating. Their brain is ation, a race against time, a communal effort to
was like, “Well, I just answered the question”. He off somewhere else. They’re no longer collabo- save the day, so it’s more a survival story than a
said, “The point of the film you made is that your rating. We’ve been through different phases. We war film. But one of the appalling things about
opinion isn’t any more valid than anyone else’s.” used to have people not bring their phones at all, war or conflict is that we send our children to fight
I hadn’t thought of it in that way, but them. I didn’t want to do what mov-
a lightbulb kind of went off. The film ies always do, which is to cast 28 and
has a productive ambiguity to the end,
as does Inception. I have to know the
truth as I see it for that ambiguity to be
I can’t ever tell 35-year-olds as 18 and 19-year-olds.
We cast a very wide net, pulling peo-
ple out of drama schools, people who
genuine, as opposed to it being an eva-
sion. But the point Jonathan made to
people what I were deciding if they wanted to go
to drama school, people just finish-
me and that I’ve carried with me ever
since is that I can’t ever tell people think; they will ing high school, people who didn’t
have agents, particularly when we
what I think, because they will always had to search for the lead role we call
elevate that above the ambiguity, the
mystery. And they shouldn’t, because
always elevate “Tommy”, who is played by Fionn
Whitehead.
the text, the grammar of the film is tell-
ing you: You can’t know these things. that above the PLAYBOY: How did it work out fill-
ing a key role with a genuine inter-
They’re unknowable, because they’re national pop star — One Direction’s
unknowable for the character.
PLAYBOY: Speaking of mystery,
ambiguity, the Harry Styles?
NOLAN: He’s fabulous in the film.
over the past few years your collabo-
rators have publicly described vari- mystery. Again, we auditioned many people.
He earned it. He’s a superb talent and
ous unique personality traits of yours. really delivered the goods with great
It has been noted that you constantly drink Earl but that’s not practical now. Now it’s that they’re passion. I’m excited for people to see what he’s
Grey tea, especially when you’re working on set switched off, so no one uses them. If you need to done in the film. We’re trying not to oversell that,
or on location. Considering how you’ve been do- use the phone, leave, go use it. That way there’s because it’s an ensemble film. But he’s pretty ter-
ing just that since this conversation began, let’s no pretence of sneaking a glance. I’ve had crew rific, in my opinion.
call that rumour true. Do you also carry your members who chafed at that but actually came PLAYBOY: Tom Hardy plays a Spitfire plane
American and British passports at all times? to value it, because they can lose themselves in pilot, and his scenes are solo, airborne and some-
NOLAN: At all times? That would be—— the work for the whole morning and then catch times with an oxygen mask covering the bottom
PLAYBOY: Okay, at most times? up with messages at lunchtime. I also don’t toler- half of his face. Having gotten so much blowback
NOLAN: In 1999, after the Rotterdam film festi- ate lateness. If somebody’s on time and engaged, from audiences complaining that they couldn’t
val, I left for the airport to catch a plane to London anything else is fair game. understand much of Hardy’s dialogue as Bane in
for a meeting. I didn’t bring my passport. Travel PLAYBOY: You’re very dapper and buttoned-up The Dark Knight Rises, let alone the complaints
is very important to me. My mom was a flight at- right now in a blazer, vest and pocket square. Bar- you got about sound effects and music drowning
tendant, and when I was 15 we got free aeroplane ring extremes of weather or terrain, is this how out the dialogue in Interstellar, are you risking an
tickets, so I was able to travel the world. Always you dress on set? encore?
being efficient at travel, I never check a bag. This NOLAN: Other crew members get to dress in a NOLAN: It’s always interesting when people take
once, I went, Oh, it’s the EU — and therefore I practical manner for the job they have to do. I’ve you on about technical issues. It’s completely fair,
wouldn’t necessarily need a passport. It was a always worn a jacket like this. Back in school, but people don’t know what goes into the pro-
complete brain fart. Finding yourself at the airport I had a uniform and got very used to the jacket cess. Armchair technicians don’t understand that,
with a plane to catch without your passport? I still pockets and having my things right with me. whether it’s The Dark Knight Rises, Interstellar or
travel so much that, yeah, when I’m working, I When I started making properly budgeted movies Dunkirk, I’ve spent eight months listening to eve-
keep my passport with me at all times, in a safe with real crews, I remember going to pick up a ry sound, balancing everything incredibly careful-

38
JULY 2017
ly and precisely, modulating it and listening to it in they’re doing on the set, just as an audience mem- coming off The Dark Knight, which was Warner’s
different theatres. On Interstellar, with our sound ber. My filmmaking style is very tactile. I do a lot biggest film to date. We felt strongly that we had
crew and the composer Hans Zimmer, we were of close-ups, and actors feel a concentration from to do something with that great opportunity.
trying to do something exciting, beautiful and dif- the camera, as well as from me, on what they’re Dunkirk, for different reasons, has a similar feel-
ferent — something raw, real and crude at times, doing. On Dunkirk, we spent weeks with Mark ing for us. It’s a huge story, one of the great stories
the way Hoyte van Hoytema’s camerawork was. Rylance and Cillian Murphy on this tiny boat with of human history, in my opinion, and it works its
We weren’t completely shocked by the response, a huge IMAX camera right up in their faces. I had way into pop culture in all kinds of ways. The
because we knew we had gone pretty far with to warn them that IMAX cameras get very loud, idea of the communal effort to save the day, vic-
some of these things. But people seemed a little but I had to be that close because I’m interested tory from the jaws of defeat — there are all kinds
angrier than I expected. With Tom on The Dark in the minutiae of the performances, trying to of primal elements in this story, and it has never
Knight Rises — I mean, he’s such an extraordi- capture the layers of all that in a form that’s read- been told in modern cinema. Why is that? Well,
nary actor. We spent a lot of time talking about able for the audience. Actors recognise that I don’t one of the reasons is it requires a substantial set of
it. He put a lot of work into it, and what he did have the slightest bit of ego or expectation when it resources. It requires the backing of a major stu-
was fascinating. I had him try a more moderate comes to performance. I’m not trying to control or dio. It requires a grand scale to do the story justice.
version of what we were shooting. It didn’t work. puppeteer; I’m trying to give them the space to do And so my feeling was, I can get this done now
The voice is inextricably linked with the character, something that excites me. If it’s not quite right, and I should; otherwise it isn’t going to get done.
which for someone whose face you don’t see and I’m trying to help them. So yeah, I see that as something of a responsibil-
whose mouth you don’t see move is pretty amaz- PLAYBOY: Do you worry that fans of your trippy ity. That is to say, if you’ve earned a bit of trust
ing. To this day on the dub stage we do and freedom from the studio, you re-
that voice all the time.
PLAYBOY: Hardy’s aerial scenes in
the Spitfire should, especially for au-
I wouldn’t be ally want to try to do something with it
that couldn’t get done in another way.
PLAYBOY: How persuasive is it to
diences who see Dunkirk in IMAX,
pack a punch.
doing my job Hollywood that you tend to bring
your films in on schedule and within
NOLAN: The Spitfire is the most mag-
nificent machine ever built. I got to fly
in a two-seater version, and the power
right if I weren’t un- budget?
NOLAN: I started working that way
for very pragmatic reasons. When
in that — there’s just a grin on your
face from takeoff to landing. There’s
comfortable studios give you millions of dollars
for your film, the best way to secure
a very immersive quality to the way
we’ve done the flying sequences. To
be able to give audiences that experi-
with each film yourself some creative freedom is to
stay on time and on budget. If you’re
the one they’re not worried about as
ence, we needed to have special lenses
built, we needed all kinds of technical
for some reason. you’re shooting, if you’re not the fire
they have to put out, they’ll leave you
things to happen. We’ve done things
nobody has ever done before, taking That feels right. alone. If they don’t feel taken advan-
tage of, that’s a huge asset to you as
actors up in a real plane and shooting a filmmaker, in terms of your creative
real cockpit shots in a large-film format. It was a sci-fi and superhero movies may not follow you freedom, and they reward you for it.
huge ambition for the film, and my team really into World War II? PLAYBOY: Did the fact that Warner Bros didn’t
pulled it off. NOLAN: There’s definitely risk with that, defi- feel “taken advantage of” help get your Dark
PLAYBOY: Are you generally a daredevil, a nitely discomfort. At the same time, Emma, my Knight trilogy off the ground?
sportsman? wife and producer, and my other collaborators felt NOLAN: Yes — and people always miss this key
NOLAN: I don’t do anything particularly interest- very much the same way with this one as we did piece. After Memento I did Insomnia for Warner
ing. I try to get a little exercise. I like the ocean. with Inception and The Dark Knight. We’ve al- Bros, with Al Pacino, Robin Williams and Hilary
I like getting out on a stand-up paddleboard. But ways tried to push the boundaries of what we’ve Swank. I worked with movie stars. It had action.
it’s only once a movie is done, shipped, everybody done. I wouldn’t be doing my job right, wouldn’t It had locations. So I did my $3 million film Me-
has seen it and it’s come out that I can relax. That’s be doing myself any justice, if I weren’t uncom- mento, and then I got to do a $47 million movie.
when we like to travel and get a big long holiday. fortable with each film for some reason. So yes, it That gave the studio a kind of comfort with letting
PLAYBOY: Some of the Dunkirk actors seem makes me nervous, but that feels right. me go to the next step with Batman Begins. That
to be part of some unofficial Christopher Nolan I have an enormous amount of freedom and trust was fortunate, because filmmakers today aren’t
stock company, including Tom Hardy and Cil- from the studios that work with me, particularly being given that same chance. People are being
lian Murphy. On previous movies you’ve worked with Warner Bros., which I’ve worked with al- taken straight from Sundance and then given $250
several times with Christian Bale, Michael Caine, most exclusively. As a filmmaker who has earned million films to direct. When I’m used as an ex-
Marion Cotillard and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. that trust, I have a responsibility to try to do some- ample of how that can work, you want to put your
What’s the dynamic between you and actors? thing with that freedom and make the film I really hand up and go, “No, that isn’t what happened”.
NOLAN: I’ve always loved what they do and believe in, one that might not fit squarely in the I value that I got to do a medium-budget studio
have been a good audience for them. I don’t look usual Hollywood model. Inception was a radical thriller or drama. Those are getting harder and
at a monitor. I’m really paying attention to what proposition for the studio at the time, but we were harder for people to make. At the time, Batman

39
JULY 2017
was kind of up for grabs, and the studio was open big monologue. We shot his close-up. There were PLAYBOY: Did you look at war films or films set
to someone coming in and telling them what they a lot of actors around the table, and when we got during wartime?
wanted to do. They wanted to invigorate it. I kept to the end and I said “Cut”, they broke into ap- NOLAN: Early on in my process, we took a look
talking about the origin story and the 1978 Super- plause. I have never seen that before or since. at The Thin Red Line, a great favourite of mine.
man. Although it has some dated elements now, it PLAYBOY: How did he react? It feels like it could be any war, any time, and it’s
was the closest thing to what I had in mind — an NOLAN: Very modestly. I feel privileged that very poetic, but that didn’t feel right for what we
epic film with a realistic texture. Emma, my editor Lee Smith and I are the only were doing. We watched All Quiet on the Western
PLAYBOY: Getting back to genre films: When people in the world who got to see that perfor- Front, which James Jones described in an essay as
you see superhero movies, which seem to be com- mance before he died. His achievement stands a film that says war turns men into animals, and
ing out every week now, and so many of them fol- totally independent of his life and, indeed, his the longer they’re at war, the more animalistic
low what feels like a dark, gritty template, what’s death, and I’m one of three people who actually they become. After that, what else is there to say?
your reaction? know that. It makes me very proud to have been Steven Spielberg lent me his print of Saving Pri-
NOLAN: My reaction is complex. I remember involved with such a fine piece of work. vate Ryan, which was as shocking and unpleasant
some of the Dark Knight trilogy came out and I PLAYBOY: That’s extraordinary. Getting back to as I had remembered. The second those bullets
think Iron Man also came out. Marvel was gear- Dunkirk, did you and your team look at other movies? start flying, you didn’t want to be in the theatre.
ing up what it was doing. I remember having a lot NOLAN: We screen film prints of a lot of movies That pushed us to go in a more Hitchcock direc-
of conversations with marketing and distribution: before each film we do. I usually try to find things tion — to create a different kind of tension, one
If the comicbook movie is a genre, that allows you to look at the screen a
then we’re worried about being over- bit more and not hide your eyes.
crowded. But if you don’t view it I was daunted by the idea of ap-
as a genre — if you just view these proaching war head-on because I’ve
as temporal movies — then there’s never fought in one. As I said, it’s
plenty of room. As with everything, my worst nightmare. But I was able
you reach a point where things get a to tackle Dunkirk in a confident way,
little overcrowded in terms of how knowing the mechanics of suspense
much of one particular product has and the thriller, and putting the audi-
been made, but for us and our re- ence in the perspective of the people
lationship with the Batman films, on that beach, who would just see
we always wanted to view them as planes coming and bombs dropping.
movies in their own right. That felt That’s extremely frightening. Tak-
like the most respectful way to treat ing a more suspense-based, thriller-
beloved subject matter. It’s like, Trust based approach actually freed me up.
us, we’re just going to make as good Dunkirk is all about physical process,
a film as we know how to make. And all about tension in the moment,
I think the world has changed since not backstories. It’s all about “Can
we made this film. I think fans are this guy get across a plank over this
more particular about the colour of hole?” We care about him. We don’t
the movies they want to see and how want him to fall down. We care about
closely they want those to adhere to these people because we’re human
what they’ve seen on the page. We beings and we have that basic em-
were given a lot of freedom and trust pathy. There’s a very intense quality
by the fans, and hopefully we did to Dunkirk and we put the audience
right by them. through a lot, but there’s tremendous
PLAYBOY: Part of that realistic positivity that results from that.
texture of the Dark Knight movies came from that have some relationship that isn’t necessarily PLAYBOY: Did you have to go to the mat for
the screenplays and, of course, definitive perfor- entirely obvious, like the silent film Greed, which analog film with Dunkirk?
mances such as Heath Ledger’s Joker. What do I always come back to because it’s so incredible NOLAN: People have no idea what’s being lost
you most remember about him in that role? and heartbreaking, as incomplete as the existing with the digital intermediate process. It’s very dif-
NOLAN: He unveiled the character to us very version is. We also looked at the silent film Sun- ficult to talk to the studio folks and postproduc-
gradually through the hair and makeup tests, rise, which I hadn’t seen before. It has the elemen- tion guys because they’ll say, “Well, you believe
through the early conversations and when he had tal quality of a fable and a simplicity of design. It’s in magic”, or “What you’re saying is mystical”. I
to read a scene with Christian Bale. He’d do a tough for some people in this day and age to tap just had to embrace that and go, “Yes, I suppose
little bit of the voice, just a taste, and then, as he into watching a silent film. You have to embrace I am.” Everything in movies is about mystery
tried on the wardrobe and experimented with the silence the way audiences of the time would. The and magic and things beyond our understanding.
makeup and shoot tests, he’d move a little bit this fabulous thing about silent films for filmmakers is Those hundreds of hours of decisions that in and
way, talk a little bit that way, just slowly unveiling that there is so much to be inspired by — or, to put of themselves are meaningless? Well, added up
it to the crew. It was electrifying. Then he did this it in more crude terms, you can steal from silent they’re not meaningless, because in the end you
scene of the Joker in the kitchen — a lot of lines, a movies. [laughs] feel something. Why does Vertigo work in a way

41
JULY 2017
that so many other films like that don’t? It’s the a novel, because I’m embarrassed and I find it today. I literally taped it to the bottom of our car
colour, the different things that come together. It’s difficult to find an authorial voice. But in screen- and smashed it to bits. He wasn’t thrilled, but he
mystical, it’s emotional — an emotional connec- plays, there’s neutrality; you’re describing some was very encouraging creatively. My mom was
tion we have with the experience of seeing a story other reality in objective terms. I find that form a flight attendant right out of college for a few
on the screen on film. Just look at visual effects especially liberating because of the way in which years. When she met my dad and got married, she
in films from 10 years ago. At the time you were I write. I try to leave a lot of things out, and I try was forced to retire, because back in the day, they
fine watching them, but they don’t hold up now. to leave a lot of things for the actor. The Dunkirk wanted flight attendants to be young and single.
What’s the difference? Our perception, to a cer- script is very short and has very little dialogue When there was a class-action lawsuit that was
tain extent, because we have an eye that develops relative to my other films. I try to write a skel- eventually resolved in the 1980s, they had to offer
over time. So whenever engineers turn around and eton with a structure and write the bones of it, but her her old job back, 20 years later, with seniority.
say, “We’ve solved it. We’ve made video look like I invite people in and collaborate. On the Dark In the meantime, she’d been teaching English as
film”, I say, “Well, you’ve done a good trick. For Knight films, Jonathan and I were in the closest a second language, adult literacy programs and so
now”. David Fincher loves to shoot digitally, and collaboration. I would drag him around the world, forth and made a real career out of it.
that’s his right, but for me, the photochemical pro- scouting locations, writing in cars, aeroplanes or PLAYBOY: How was it that you lived in both
cess is different. I’m not sure they’re ever going to wherever it took to get it done as we were mount- London and the US?
look the same, however many bits the technicians ing production. I wrote the scripts for Following NOLAN: Because my mom is American, we’d
crunch. and Inception on my own. I’ve done it both ways. go back there to see her family in the summer
PLAYBOY: David Fincher’s actors when I was young. The way film dis-
have talked about his penchant for
many, many takes. Several Gone Girl Dunkirk is one of tribution was in those days, in the sum-
mer we would see all the movies that

the great
actors have spoken of doing 50 takes, wouldn’t come to England until Christ-
and Rooney Mara reportedly had to do mas. My dad and I first saw Star Wars
99 takes on a scene in The Social Net- at a suburban movie theater in Ohio
work. He has also released a director’s
cut of Zodiac and an “assembly cut” of stories of human or something, and I have a very vivid
memory of being seven and on the first

history, and it
Alien 3. Are you anything like that? day of school in England in September
NOLAN: I always say that the audi- of 1977 trying to explain Star Wars to
ence tells me what the film is. That people: “Well, there’s a bad guy who’s
doesn’t mean we always agree. But
audiences seeing the film — that’s the
works its way into got a mask and then there’s these bad
guys who have white suits and they
final piece of the creative process. It’s
like exposing copper to the elements. It
changes what the thing is. But it doesn’t
pop culture in all look like robots but not really.” I was
the first guy in school to see it. It made
a huge impression on me, and my dad
make me then want to go back and
have at it again. I’ve always viewed
kinds of ways. took me to see it again in London when
it opened in 70mm at the Dominion
the filmmaking process as almost like Theatre on Tottenham Court Road. I
a life performance or something. I would do re- We usually get in the room, throw a few things remember going to see 2001: A Space Odyssey
shoots if I had to, but I trust the production period. around, and then one of us will be writing a draft with him at the Leicester Square Theatre, which
It’s like, Okay, I’ve got six months to shoot the on our own and, later, passing the ball back and has since been knocked down. Interstellar was the
film and then I’ve got three months to do my first forth. That was particularly the case with The last film to play there.
cut. I’ve always tried to trust those pressures and Prestige and Interstellar; he wrote drafts for years PLAYBOY: Were you and Jonathan as close as
limitations and stand by the film by the end of it. and later I worked on them. With us, in a funny you are now?
Otherwise, where would you stop? You’d never sort of way, the process winds up being much the NOLAN: I was off at boarding school, so I was
finish. It’s an imperfect medium. It always has same because I always have him read the stuff I’m sort of the outsider. I don’t want to talk too much
been. Every film is imperfect. If there’s something doing and we’re always talking. I just don’t pay about our upbringing just because I don’t want to
I’ve been unsatisfied about, you leave it and trust him. [laughs] speak for my brother. Jonathan is six years young-
what it was. The impetus is to try to do better on PLAYBOY: What was it like at home for you, er than I am. As we’ve gotten older, we’ve gotten
the next film. with a father who worked in marketing and a closer, and closer as well as with the creative col-
PLAYBOY: You wrote the Dunkirk script solo — mother who was a flight attendant? laboration that started very much with Memento.
that is, without your brother Jonathan, with whom NOLAN: We grew up in England and America PLAYBOY: As a kid, what inspired you? What
you worked on The Prestige, The Dark Knight, at different times, but mostly England. My dad posters did you have on your walls? What did you
The Dark Knight Rises and Interstellar. Was he ran his own business in product development collect?
too busy creating and writing for TV, on both Per- for many years. He started out as a copywriter NOLAN: The seminal influence was Ridley Scott
son of Interest and Westworld? and was a very creative man. I wanted to make and his movies. At some point, after seeing Blade
NOLAN: I never wanted to be a writer. I started my own movies, and when I was about seven, Runner, I had somehow connected it with Alien
writing because I needed to have the material he lent me his Super 8 camera, which at the time — everything’s completely different, but there’s
to be a filmmaker. I discovered I couldn’t write was as expensive as a high-end video camera of the same feeling. That was my first sense of what

42
JULY 2017
a director does. I can’t tell you how many times it was the first night. I’m very glad that I did. three or four years old. I’ve run Blade Runner
I’ve seen Blade Runner. I know everything about Emma and I ran the great film society at Univer- just once because it’s a little more grown-up and
it. I was absolutely obsessive about it, and at a sity College London. the kids are spread out in age. I showed them
time when there weren’t many people interested PLAYBOY: Did you have similar taste in films? Citizen Kane when they were pretty young, and
in it outside of a small group. I remember talking NOLAN: It wasn’t that. I sort of drew Emma they still complain about it. They know that it
to my dad about Ridley Scott and him revealing into production right away. In the film society winds me up to complain about Citizen Kane.
that he’d actually worked with him and knew him they’d give you a roll of reversal film, and you They know a lot about movies and have a good
a tiny bit because of where he produced some of could shoot a 16mm movie and edit it on their grounding in film history. I did have an awful
his commercials. Ridley Scott was my hero. Steenbeck editing machines. I drew her into moment when I said, “Maybe they’re all going
There was a place in Soho called Vintage Maga- helping on the films I made there. to be film critics”.
zine Shop where I would buy black-and-white PLAYBOY: Including your 1989 Super 8 short PLAYBOY: Because you and your wife work
stills from Casablanca, Diva, Blade Runner and Tarantella, which was shown on a PBS show- so closely together in a high-pressure environ-
put them on the wall in my room. It was the 1980s, case for indie projects. Your 1996 film Larceny ment, how do you strike a balance?
when I was entering into what I call an open phase showed to acclaim at the Cambridge Film Festi- NOLAN: The crossover in our professional and
of really wanting to absorb new things, new cul- val. After college, you funded, directed and shot personal lives is very much two halves: the half
ture, new music, new movies. with friends your first feature, Following, which of our lives before kids and the half afterwards.
PLAYBOY: Did you persuade your father to try got noticed at film festivals and was reviewed by Once kids come along, they ground you. You
to find a way to meet Ridley Scott, or did you The New York Times. have to put things to one side at some point. You
ever write him or anyone else a fan have to be living a family life and
letter?
NOLAN: I used to think about doing
that a lot. I’m just too shy, too self-
The Spitfire is the shutting off the work life. Emma has
always been very good at asserting
that discipline at the appropriate mo-
conscious. I didn’t ever do that, and
part of me now wishes I had. I was at
most magnificent ment, even though we’re living and
breathing what we do all the time.
a party once, and Sydney Pollack was
across the room, not really talking to
anybody. I had spoken to him on the
machine ever We’re also engaging the kids in that
and take them on location wherever
we go. But Emma has always been
phone once but had never met him in
person. I thought, I should go talk to
built. There’s just a great at seeing the need to put work
to one side and concentrate on family
him. I didn’t. He passed away fairly
soon after.
PLAYBOY: Were you also shy
grin on your at the appropriate time.
PLAYBOY: What’s on the docket
post-Dunkirk?
around women growing up?
NOLAN: I don’t really want to an-
face from takeoff NOLAN: I’ve never been good at
doing more than one thing at a time.
swer that other than to say Emma and
I met on our very first day at Univer- to landing. For me, Dunkirk won’t be finished
until it goes out in the world.
sity College London. PLAYBOY: Are you still tempted by
PLAYBOY: Did you two share a class or just NOLAN: As the films get bigger and more in- the prospect of doing your own James Bond or
meet randomly? volved and longer, Emma has always been there Star Wars movie?
NOLAN: Same dorm — “dorm” in the Ameri- helping out in whatever way makes the most NOLAN: A Bond movie, definitely. I’ve spoken
can vernacular, “hall of residence” in the British. sense. She’s developed an extraordinary ability to the producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael
We met the first night. I don’t think I should say to understand all sides of the filmmaking process G Wilson over the years. I deeply love the char-
anymore on that. from the ground up in a way that few people who acter, and I’m always excited to see what they
PLAYBOY: Both personally and professionally, meet her would necessarily see. She knows more do with it. Maybe one day that would work out.
yours is a long-lasting and productive relation- than any producer about how films are actually You’d have to be needed, if you know what I
ship. put together. She’s very self-effacing and doesn’t mean. It has to need reinvention; it has to need
NOLAN: I had a very nice conversation with talk a lot about what she knows. She allows peo- you. And they’re getting along very well.
my 13-year-old son about colleges, and he said, ple to sit and lecture her until it’s to the point PLAYBOY: So is it a good time to be Christo-
“When you went to college, did you know any- where she has to point out, quietly, politely, that pher Nolan?
one?” I said, “No, I sat in my room in my hall she knows what she’s talking about. NOLAN: It feels great, even though this is the
of residence the first night and heard a bit of a PLAYBOY: What kinds of movies do you like scary period, when I’ve done the things I can to
party going on in the corridor. I thought, I don’t to see as a family? make Dunkirk the most it can be. You get ob-
know anyone; I’d better get out there and say hi”. NOLAN: We have a very good projector here at sessed and pour yourself into the technical fin-
I opened the door and, as I said to my son, “Who the house. I’ve shown our four kids movies since ishing of it because it’s your last chance to make
was the first person you think I saw?” Emma. they were a very young age. They’ve watched things as good as they can be. Now comes the
PLAYBOY: Lucky you left your dorm room. the silent version of Ben-Hur, and they all wound period of putting the film out there in the world.
NOLAN: I would not have on most nights, but up seeing 2001 for the first time when they were That never gets any easier.

43
JULY 2017
 44
JULY 2017
Elizabeth Marie
Chevalier
Text by JASON FLEETWOOD Photography by BRIAN B HAYES booked by 917PR

45
JULY 2017
Born and raised in sunny California USA, Elizabeth
currently resides in Los Angeles where she loves
modelling and acting. She attended MCU and
transferred to LMU with a biology major. Raised
in a huge sports family, Elizabeth played soccer
her whole life up until college, and was a varsity
cheerleader and gymnast in high school. A tall
brunette at 1.78m, Elizabeth draws every eye with
her huge almond-shaped green eyes, beautifully
shaped lips, long legs, and curves. Her natural
features are beautiful and youthful and her French
heritage makes for a classic Parisian beauty - try
to keep up.

She loves to travel and explore new places. Places

she has recently visited include all of France, Spain,
Italy, Greece, Mexico, Netherlands, Bahamas, and
many more. "I love to backpack most of the time
when I travel to new destinations, and other times
I like to travel in complete luxury. Food, for me, sets
apart the different cultures I experience, and it is
what I most look forward to when travelling. I will
always be an avid traveller, and you can follow all
my journeys on social media as I post constantly.

About me
I love animals, I went to college to either venture
off to vet school or pursue marine biology. I
will always love marine life. I lived by the beach
growing up and the ocean is a big part of my life.
I am a HUGE dog lover. I love seeing and being
in new and interesting places. The craziest was
being on a yacht off the coast of Formentera and
doing a backflip off the top of the yacht into the
ocean. Second, was meeting Sean Penn and a
Golden Globe after party. Lastly, was eating Llama
in Tulum, Mexico with a taxi driver I met at the
airport.

Turn on
I love a man with a dry sarcastic sense of humour.
I always go for the guy who is compassionate,
and "salt of the earth type". I am not obsessed
about looks, but I have a type; I like a man in a
suit, clean, and professional. I also love a man who
drinks whisky in one hand and smokes a cigar in
the other.

For more of Elizabeth's adventures, you can

follow her on Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter
@marieechev

46
JULY 2017
 47
JULY 2017
 48
JULY 2017
PLAYBOY’S PARTY JOKES

We put our clothes back on and discussed her The doctor said I should be drinking more
father’s hip surgery. When baseball players want whisky. Also, I’m calling myself “the doctor”
to delay ejaculation, do they think about people now.
having sex?
Sure, having sex is a great workout, but having
I accidentally texted a picture of my penis to my sex on a Bowflex is the ultimate workout.
grandma. She asked me when I shaved my head
and lost an eye.

Sometimes just to switch things up I ask my

therapist how my lack of progress makes her feel.

Those of you who think the Earth is flat, show

some decency. Some planets just take longer than
others to develop.

Attendance at the Rodeo Hall of Fame has

skyrocketed since it dedicated a statue to the
reverse cowgirl.

Caller: Sir, we believe your identity has been

stolen. Me: I go to sleep at nine P.M. and drive a
A man’s number one question when he visits a minivan. I’m sure they’ll give it back.
nude beach for the first time: What should I do if
I get an erection? The number two question: Why If eating chocolate makes your brain simulate the
are there so many dudes here? feeling of being in love, how many pieces does it
take to convince your girlfriend to try anal? I took
My trust issues began when I discovered there the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm
was no donkey in Donkey Kong. because the loud beeping was making me feel
sick and dizzy. For most guys, having sex on the beach is like
The Heimlich Manoeuvre means some - thing watching La La Land. It’s over quickly, it’s a
totally different to anyone who ever slept with Dr Kids today will never know the awkwardness of little overrated, and it’s embarrassing to be caught
Henry Heimlich. having to meet up with an ex to give them their doing it by yourself.
CDs back.
If your lawyer has an AOL e-mail address, you’re Love doll is a pretty optimistic term for something
going to jail. Sometimes when I’m driving I’m overcome with you have sex with and then hide in your closet.
an urge to plough into an overpass pillar. Anyway,
One way to get a hand job is to become a my name is Dave and I’ll be your Uber driver. Relationship status: intentionally leaving stuff in
sculptor. my pockets as I go through airport security.
A job interview is like a first date. You dress up,
Never trust a psychic wearing a Band-Aid. They pretend to be someone else and spend the whole I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work because
should have seen that shit coming. time wondering if you’re going to get screwed. there’s no way I can run that far.

Instead of “Who’s your daddy?” I accidentally At the end of the day, life should ask us, “Do you Summertime sex can be sweaty, sticky and
said, “How’s your daddy?” want to save the changes?” exhausting... if you’re doing it right.

52
JUNE 2017
 ALISON
20Q

BRIE This summer, the pint-size powerhouse plays both a permed wrestler and a profane nun.
Read on as she plys her razor-sharp wit on wrestling moves, nude scenes and cat cafés

BY DAVID HOCHMAN PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEPHAN WÜRTH

Q1: You’ve been in the business for more that Davey’s mom and I said “I love killer move?
than a decade. What surprises you most you” to each other before he and I had BRIE: We did wrestling training for
about the way Hollywood works? said “I love you.” The Francos are just four and a half weeks for the show,
BRIE: I guess it’s that everybody a very humble, laid-back, close-knit working 10 to 14 hours a day on not
cheats on their husbands and wives. family, and my family has a similar killing ourselves. The hardest move
It always bums me out. I mean, it vibe. is a basic back bump, which is any
makes sense on some level because Q3: You’ve described your parents as re- time you fall on your back onto the
there’s such an immediate intimacy to formed hippies. Was there a lot of herbal mat. You get back-bumped whenever
what actors do. You shoot scenes with medicine around when you were growing you’re clotheslined, which is when
people where you’re falling in love up? you run into someone’s arm and fall
with them or making out with them BRIE: Well, there’s still a lot of pot. backwards. I would much prefer to be
or pretending to have sex with them. On Thanksgiving we all smoke tons of body slammed than clotheslined, even
So I understand. And you can be away weed. I mean, not tons of weed; we go though someone’s lifting you off the
from your loved one for months at a through phases. Some Thanksgivings ground and slamming you down. At
time, and hackers are making it more I’ll bring a pot brownie and we’ll be least they’re sort of helping to place
and more difficult to send sexy photos sneaking into the closet and having bites you in a good position.
to one another, so what are you going of it. At this last Thanksgiving, it was My favourite move is the suplex. It’s
to do? But it still really shocks me. just my parents and my sister and then a when you have someone in a headlock
Q2: You recently married Dave Franco. bunch of our friends out back with vape and you put your head under their arm
What was it like meeting his brother James pens. It’s been fun introducing my par- and then flip them all the way over,
and the rest of the Francos for the first ents to the new weed technology. They and you both back-bump on the mat.
time? both have their pot cards now, though. I With all wrestling moves, you learn
BRIE: Well, I met their mom before I used to be the keeper of the weed; now the foundation and then you have to
met anyone else in the family, and she they’re on their own. just go for it. There’s no in-between.
is so wonderful and sweet that our joke Q4: In your new Netflix comedy, GLOW, You have to trust that you know how
for a long time — and it’s true — is you play a 1980s pro wrestler. What’s your to do it.

54
JULY 2017
 20Q

Q5: What did you make of all those high-waisted BRIE: The movie is a comedy, but wearing God, there’s no way this is going to last on
jeans and Amish-looking dresses? the habit was pure depression. It robs you of TV. I was kind of like, Well, at least it’s really
BRIE: I feel like women’s fashion in the any sexual identity, and it is the least sexual good and I’m in the first season and that’ll be
1980s was about women entering the work- thing you can do, though people do have nun great. You never know.
place and trying to hold their own with men. fetishes. The part that goes on your head is Q11: You’re also known for your work on Com-
They wanted to wear outfits that made them heavy and pulls your neck back, so I was get- munity. Do you have a favourite Chevy Chase
sort of look like men, so they wore clothes ting neck cramps every day. But the movie is story?
that gave them these big shoulders, making pretty boundary-less when it comes to com- BRIE: Oh jeez. A classic Chevy Chase mo-
their body shape totally different. And they edy, which I love. There’s a big scene with ment is him walking into a room with the
cinched the waist, making them big on their a lot of naked witches dancing in the woods rest of the cast, making jokes. Donald Glover
bottom half too. The hair was huge. There around a fire, and that’s kind of madness. is doing a bit. Everyone’s cracking up, and
was a lot of makeup. It’s like everything was I think I felt the most guilt when we were Chevy points at Donald and says, “That’s not
an attempt to make yourself bigger. shooting a scene where we’re yelling at the funny. This is funny.” And then throws him-
Q6: You get naked in the first episode of GLOW. grounds-keeper, and we were all sort of un- self over the back of a chair, leaving everyone
Did you train for that too? leashed. A lot of the movie is improvised, and sort of stunned. Chevy definitely has a set
BRIE: Oh absolutely. I definitely did some at the encouragement of our director, we kept idea in his mind about what comedy is, and
push-ups and sit-ups in my room to pump up calling him a dirty Jew and referred to him maybe it hasn’t changed in a long time, but
the right muscles beforehand. I’ve passed on stealing like a little Jewish rat. Being Jewish, he’s still game for anything.
a lot of projects that had nudity, but I was ob- I just kept thinking, Oh my God, my mom’s Q12: You started your career as a children’s
sessed with getting GLOW. Nudity is a part going to see this. party clown. How often did the dads hit on you?
of the show, and I had no hesitation. I love Q9: Who makes you laugh the most these days? BRIE: Not much when I was a clown, but
the character. I understood why they wanted BRIE: Kristen Wiig, always. And Nick Kroll. definitely when I was a Powerpuff Girl, be-
it. Getting naked on camera is like ripping off I pull up clips from the Kroll Show and I just cause the costume was very revealing for a
a Band-Aid. The hardest part is the transition die. The other day I was referencing “Pleep children’s party costume. It was this tiny dress
from being in your robe to being naked on set. Ploop,” a sketch on the Kroll Show; it’s a — shockingly short — with a giant head that
Once I was naked, it kind of reminded me of parody of The X Factor, and it’s one of my strapped on. I kind of couldn’t get a feel for
my nudist days from college and that feeling favourites. I also like to listen to The Last what was going on around me, but I knew I
of, Oh yeah, I love my body and this is fun and Podcast on the Left with Ben Kissel, Henry was being ogled.
silly and it’s fine. Zebrowski and Marcus Parks. They talk a lot Q13: Your first real acting gig was a role on
Q7: Your nudist days from college? about serial killers and their histories. They Hannah Montana, correct?
BRIE: Cal Arts was sort of clothing optional. make jokes about and do impressions of the BRIE: Yeah. The show hadn’t even aired
I don’t know what it’s like now; even in the killers. You kind of have to be into their sense yet, so nobody knew who Miley Cyrus was. I
four years I was there, they had started to of humour. didn’t know who she was. Even at the first ta-
crack down. My freshman year, the Erotic Oh, and anything with cats. We have two ble read, I remember seeing Billy Ray Cyrus
Ball was still happening. Everybody was in cats, Harry and Arturo. My brother-in-law and wondering, Why is he on the show? What
different states of undress. There were tents named them because they originally belonged is happening? Miley was super sweet — a
with TVs playing pornography. And I seem to him. We often film our cats — mostly do- sweet, goofy teenager. I don’t think she would
to remember a live sex performance. Mostly ing nothing — and send the videos to each remember me now, but I’m still a big fan.
it was a lot of lingerie and body paint. I wore other throughout the day. That is certainly Q14: Back to ogling: Do you know there’s a
this Victoria’s Secret thing with a little black something that other people do not find en- Tumblr account devoted to your breasts?
thong under a black lace long-sleeved mini- tertaining. BRIE: There’s a fascination I can’t really
dress. It was see-through lace — you could Q10: You had a long stint playing Trudy Camp- explain. My mom was the first one to point
see the panties — but also long-sleeved be- bell on Mad Men. Were you surprised by how that out early in my Community days. She
cause, you know, I’m very demure. successful the show became? was like, “I was reading a bunch of message
Q8: Now, in The Little Hours, you play a raun- BRIE: I remember watching the Mad Men boards, and people seem very fascinated by
chy nun who smokes and says “fuck” a lot. How pilot, which I wasn’t in, after I had shot may- your boobs. I don’t know why. They’re not
was it donning the habit? be one episode. I remember thinking, Oh my that big.” I was like, “Mom, I have great boo-

I'VE NEVER FELT SO MUCH

ADRENALINE IN MY BODY. WITH AN
AUDIENCE THERE,YOU'RE INVINCIBLE.

56
JULY 2017
 dick between two feet when you could put it
in a warm vagina or a butthole?
Q16: Well said. If you could work with anyone in
showbiz, who would it be?
BRIE: Quentin Tarantino, definitely. His
movies have been such a big influence on
everything I like about filmmaking. I saw
Pulp Fiction at way too young an age — my
dad would stand in front of the screen during
the gimp scene. Then in high school I was
obsessed with Reservoir Dogs. And then in
college it was Kill Bill Vol. 1 and Vol. 2.
The music, the humour — it’s just so much
fun.
Q17: This is the Adventure Issue. What’s on
your adventure to-do list?
BRIE: I want to jump out of an aeroplane.
I want to go to Japan because it has amaz-
ing cat cafés and other things that I hear are
great. What else? Win an Academy Award.
That’s about it.
Q18: What is the most adrenaline-pumping,
death-defying thing you’ve ever done?
BRIE: Probably wrestling. I mean, I’ve
never felt so much adrenaline in my body,
and like I said, you have to literally dive
headfirst into some of these moves. With
an audience there, you feel nothing. You’re
invincible. It’s a real rush. If GLOW is able
to stay on for a few more years I would be
ecstatic, because shooting it is the best.
Q19: d finally, what’s the most regrettable
part you’ve taken on?
BRIE: I mean, I hate to shit on movies and
stuff that I’ve done, but I played the lead
in a B horror movie called Born. The en-
tertainment value is high, but people will
watch it because I’m in it and say, “Why
did you do that to me?” I play this charac-
ter who gets sort of…it’s implied that she’s
raped by a demon and impregnated with
this demon fetus. So it’s like Rosemary’s
Baby, but then she gets possessed by the
demon fetus and murders people and eats
their body parts.
I was right out of college, it was my first
bs. How dare you?” It’s humorous to me that I can’t totally make the leap to sexualizing movie, and I was going to be the lead. I
people have had a fixation with my boobs. By them. People constantly request photos of my think I actually got a kick out of the height-
the time I’m ready to film a full-nude scene, feet, and they also send me photos of my feet ened drama — the fact that I was coming
I am the most muscular I’ve ever been and when I’ve worn minimal heels or have gone out of theatre school to play this part where
my boobs are the smallest they’ve ever been. barefoot. Somebody explained to me that it’s there are actual scenes of me talking to
It’s sort of like a fuck-you to the boob-fetish because feet are the only part of your body myself and fighting myself because I’m
people. that you can’t change or alter, so it’s really possessed by a demon fetus——
Q15: You also have a following of foot fetishists. you. I found that to be quite beautiful. But Q20: And all the while you’re like, “What’s
How do you figure that happened? then your mind just cuts to someone jerking my motivation here?”
BRIEI: I understand why people like my feet, off on their feet, and that image is ingrained in BRIE: No, I was like, “I got this.” I was
because I do find them to be very cute. But your mind forever. Why would you put your super cocky. n

57
JULY 2017
She Got Away
Incidents, accidents, surprises and demises —
Cheryl’s in over her head dealing with a family emergency
 FICTION

When her sister, Abigail, called her at college and an overnight adventure and it’s my turn to be the seem to mind.
said, “You need to come home”, Cheryl asked, “Is baker’s assistant. Plus, I’m in the bugle corps, I •••
this for real?” play reveille.” For Cheryl this time, coming home from school in
“Yes”, Abigail said. “Don’t make me beg”, Abigail said. When Minneapolis, felt even more difficult. On the way
“Can I talk to Mom?” they were young, Abigail was a fairy. She wore from the airport to the house the car passed a field
“No.” “Is it Mom?” white wings everywhere she went. She didn’t of oil pumps in the middle of nowhere, milking
“I don’t know”, Abigail said. like to answer questions, didn’t like to be pinned the earth, which already looked decimated, barely
“What does that mean, you don’t know; it down. able to feed scrub brush and the occasional sage
sounds like you’re not telling.” Their mother joked that she drank too much bush. All of it felt entirely different, alien.
“I really don’t know”, Abigail said. “You coffee when she was pregnant with Abigail. “It “How did you pick Minneapolis?” Cheryl’s
know how Mom always puts herself in the mid- wasn’t the coffee; it was the pills, diet pills”, their friends from high school had asked. “We never
dle of things.” Abigail paused. “And bring good father said. heard of it before.”
clothes.” “The doctor gave them to me”, their mother “I wanted to go to the most normal place I
“You’re scaring me", Cheryl said. “Should I said. could find. It’s where Charles M Schulz grew up.”
be scared? No one in LA wears good clothes un- “What kind of doctor wants a pregnant wom- As soon as she arrives at the house, Cheryl
less...” an to lose weight?” their father asked. walks right through it. She passes through the
“I don’t know”, Abigail said again, “just come “A Beverly Hills doctor.” Cheryl packed her living room and steps outside; the pool is an inky
home”. footlocker and said good-bye to her bunk-mates. black wishing well — no toys, only a floating
Abigail had done this before. The summer When she got home there was a huge sign, sensor. The view is limitless, all of Los Angeles
Cheryl was 13, Abigail made her come home drawn in red lipstick on a white sheet, hanging is spread out below. She takes off her shoes and
from sleepaway camp. Their par- between the telephone poles. dips her toes in — hot. The heat is like a physical
ents had gone to Europe; Abigail “WELCOME HOME BABY lozenge, a sedative. There is no edge — she has
stayed behind; she was 17 and sup- A.M.
By SISTER.” no body, there are no boundaries, she, the water
posed to be in summer school.
It was six months after their
HOMES And Abigail was very thin.
“Have you stopped eating?” It
and the air all are one.
She used to stay out there at night, lingering
younger brother, Billy, died while probably shouldn’t have been the in the darkness. Her father would come and get
they were visiting their grandparents in Arizona. first thing Cheryl asked, but it was. her out of the pool. “It’s a wonder you don’t just
Billy told them that a poisonous snake had bitten “I’ve been picking at things, there wasn’t shrivel up”, he’d say. The pool felt safe, she could
him; “Put a cold washcloth on it”, they said, and much left.” hide there — invisible. She takes her feet out of
then he was dead. They went outside and looked at the “edible” the water and goes back into the house. Her wet
“I need you to come home”, Abigail had said. garden where the swing set used to be — their footprints evaporate behind her, vanishing as she
“Did the plane crash?” Cheryl asked. parents planted it to encourage Abigail to take an walks.
“What plane?” active role in her own nutrition. Most of the plants “Where are you?” she texts her sister.
“The plane Mom and Dad were on?” were dead. “In traffic”, Abigail texts back.
“No”, she said. “You have to water it”, Cheryl said. The accountant who lives next door comes out
“I thought maybe it did, because you told Abigail shrugged. “I have trouble with things onto his deck; his hair is longer and he now has
camp it was an emergency. The camp director that are so needy.” breasts. He waves. She waves back.
came and got me out of the lake.” They set up in Billy’s bedroom and talked “Where’s Esmeralda?”
“Sorry”, she said, “I thought I told them you about how weird it was that no one talked about “She’s driving the car.”
could call me back.” anything. Abigail was the keeper of the feelings; Twenty minutes later, she hears the engine
“You told them you’d hold on.” Cheryl was she hung on to everything. Their mother used to turn off and suddenly she’s afraid, flushed with
standing on the porch of the camp office in a say, “You wear your feelings like jewellery.” the feeling that this is the before — the end of the
dripping wet bathing suit. She was talking on a When they were young, Abigail was afraid of familiar. She hears the front door open and close.
phone with a long yellow curly cord that had been floating away. She was so worried that she might She stays put, or it’s more like she can’t move,
passed through the open window. She used the simply vanish that she literally wanted to be teth- she’s immobile on the lounge chair by the pool.
drops from her wetsuit to spell her initials on the ered to another person. Abigail comes out onto the patio, so thin that
wooden porch. First, they used some old laundry line, then she actually looks flat. Her arms and legs are white
“Where are you?” Cheryl asked. climbing rope and carabiners, until they discov- like copy paper. The only thing normal about her
“I don’t know”, Abigail said. “I’m lost.” ered the small weights that you use to keep helium are her feet, jutting out in sandals with red nail
“What do you see around you?” balloons down. Abigail kept them in her pockets polish that catches the light like safety reflectors.
“Eyeshadow”, she said. — a big help. “Should we go inside?” Abigail asks.
“Are you in your room?” Cheryl asked. And for a while, she was better; she married “Here is good”, Cheryl says, still paralysed.
“Come home”, Abigail said. — Burton Wills, her plastic surgeon — but she “We need to talk.” Esmeralda brings glasses of
“I’m in the camp play and the talent show”, also kept her room at home, not like an office but water with lemon and a plate of carrot and celery
Cheryl said. “This week there’s a bunk cookout, like how it was when she was a kid. Burton didn’t sticks.

59
JULY 2017
 FICTION

“Is it that bad?” Cheryl asks, looking at Es- “I told her”, Abigail says; her voice sounds childhood — infancy. “I thought he might be
meralda for confirmation. odd. helpful. He said he’d come over later. Should we
Esmeralda makes a face; she doesn’t want to “What?” go to the hospital?” Abigail asks.
be the one to say so, but yes. “Mom was at the salon, she had cucumbers on “Should we bring her a plant?” Cheryl asks.
Esmeralda has been with them since before her eyes, was eating almonds, you know how she “Mom always liked African violets.”
Billy was born. She was the baby nurse, the nan- does…” Cheryl marches into the house, takes the
ny and then the housekeeper, and now Esmeralda “Fifteen almonds a day.” African violet off the windowsill in the kitchen,
does everything for them because apparently they “And you know how she has so much filler clutching it for comfort.
can’t do it for themselves, or maybe it’s just been and Botox and everything.” Their father is in the Neuro Intensive Care
so long that they’ve forgotten how. Cheryl nods, “Yes. And she doesn’t even like Unit. He has what looks like a turkey thermometer
Abigail drinks. Cheryl eats. Amid the hyper- the way it makes her look, she just does it because stuck deep into his head.
consciousness about food, the threat of starvation, that’s what people here do.” “Is that like a pop-up timer?” she asks.
she overeats, having not one or two sticks but the Abigail, who has also had all the filler and “It tells us the pressure in his head”, the nurse
entire plate. Botox, nods back. She doesn’t smile or frown be- says.
“Is it Dad?” she asks. cause she can’t. “Well, somehow a peanut got in. “Is it permanent?”
“It’s Mom and Dad”, Abigail says. She blew up and no one noticed because her lips “You’ll have to speak with the doctor”, the
“Are they getting a divorce?” are already so puffy — they didn’t get bigger on nurse says, exiting the room.
“No.” the outside, she puffed up inside.” “He looks terrible”, Cheryl says. “He would
“I don’t understand.” “And?” never wear a shirt that colour.”
“It was Dad and then it was Mom.” “She’s not ‘at’ Cedars, she’s ‘in’ Cedars.” “You mean the hospital gown?”
“Can you just tell me what happened?” “In the same room?” “Can we put on his regular clothes?” Cheryl
“Dad was at work. He had an incident.” She shakes her head. “They’re heavily sedated asks. “Do we need permission?”
“Like an occurrence?” and on ventilators.” “Like we could make him any worse?” Abi-
“An episode.” “Like a crime show?” “Will they wake up?” gail says. She tugs on the front of her father’s
“Like a problem”, she said. “No one knows. She was seriously oxygen- gown, trying to pull it off him. “He’s heavy.”
“When did this happen?” deprived.” “We could try and lift him”, Cheryl says. “Or
“Last Wednesday?” “This is like a nightmare.” how about we just put a shirt on top?”
“And why did no one call me?” “That’s why I called you.” The clothes he was wearing when they brought
“We wanted to see what happened. We hoped “It’s like the nightmare where I’m trying to him in are in a big plastic bag in the closet. Abigail
there would be a turnaround. There was nothing tell everyone something is wrong and no one can lays the shirt on him and pulls up the sheets, tuck-
you could have done.” hear me. It’s like a zombie apocalypse”, Cheryl ing him in. Cheryl takes his shoes to the bottom
Esmeralda gives her a hug, “I’m sorry.” says. Abigail puts her arms around her. They are of the bed and puts them on the ends of his feet,
I could have prayed, Cheryl says softly to her- so thin and ropy that it’s like being encircled by hanging off his toes.
self. She prays every day; something she’s never Twizzlers. “Better?” Abigail asks.
told anyone. “So, where’s Mom?” “I called Walter”, Abigail says. “He looks awful.”
“She’s at Cedars too.” “My Walter?” “Maybe it’s the medication”, Abigail says.
“Did you tell her I was coming home?” Walter is her best friend from childhood, pre- “Maybe it’s what’s left of him, maybe it’s all
there is. This is not good”, Cheryl says, shak-
ing her head no, no, no as if the repeated motion
will set things free. “Not good at all. Can we see
Mom? I need to see Mom.”
They take the elevator to nine.
“It’s me”, Cheryl says, squeezing the mother’s
hand. “Are you in there, Mom?”
“Hard to tell”, the nurse’s aide says.
“Burton thinks Mom looks good, very re-
laxed.”
“She’s unconscious.”
Esmeralda rubs the mother’s feet. “She always
liked me to rub her feet.”
Cheryl kisses her mother on the forehead. Her
skin is taut, smooth, no wrinkles. “I love you,
Mom. Happy Administrative Assistants Day.”
“Is it really Administrative Assistants Day?”
Abigail asks.
 “It said so on my calendar.” my own. Nothing is going to happen to me, all the later.
“Mom loves a special day.” bad stuff has already happened.” “I’m hiding”, Cheryl writes.
Cheryl puts the African violet on the ledge, in “Is Walter coming over? Did he text you?” “Where?”
the sun. Abigail asks. And because she doesn’t want to say between
“I know you find it offensive, but I have to “Yes.” the tub and the towels, she gets up, pulls on a
eat”, Cheryl tells Abigail as they’re waiting for the “And?” swimsuit and a wrap, unlocks the sliding glass
valet to come with the car. “He asked, ‘How bad is it?’ ‘Bad’, I said. ‘Big doors, goes out to the pool and sits.
“How about a smoothie — they don’t really bad?’ he asked. ‘Supersize’, I said.” “In the backyard”, she types. He comes in
smell.” Esmeralda is ready to go. “I have to make through the pool gate.
They drive to a juice bar. Abigail orders just dinner for my family. I’m sorry. I’ll bring you “You remembered the code”, she says.
kale, parsley and cucumber. Esmeralda gets leftovers tomorrow, empanadas.” Cheryl sends “1-2-3-4. Some things never change.”
mixed berry acai. Cheryl orders the Kitchen Sink, Abigail with her, giving her a hug, then wishing “Until they do”, she says. There’s a pause.
and while she’s waiting she eats some raw vegan she hadn’t; Abigail is like a human Post-it, there’s “You look good — muscly.”
cookies. “Do you have soup?” she asks. nothing to her — no dimension. “Eating meat again.”
“Cheryl, it’s 101 degrees outside. There is no When they leave, Cheryl locks herself in the “It’s really good to see you.”
soup”, Abigail snaps. bathroom — she feels the need for a safe room. Walter and Cheryl have known each other
As soon as they get back to the house, Cheryl She needs to be held, comforted, and in the ab- since before they could sit up. Their mothers
is drenched in aloneness, the cologne of took them to Music Together class;
empty, the odor of nothing. Mid-after- he smiled at her and she threw up on
noon, she has a pizza delivered — she
meets the guy outside, eats the whole "I'M TRYING him, or so the story goes. “Spit up”, she
always corrects. “When you’re four
thing standing on the other side of the months old, it’s called spit up. I didn’t
fence and throws the box away out by
the kerb in the neighbour’s blue recy-
TO TELL throw up on you until much later.”
They grew up together, each other’s
cling bin.
Later, she finds Abigail in her room, EVERYONE witness and confidant.
They go into the house. “Should I
sitting on the floor, ruler in one hand, try and distract you?” Walter asks, dig-
scissors in the other, cutting the pile on
her green shag rug like it’s blades of
SOMETHING'S ging around the game closet. He takes
out the game Operation. She uses the
grass, one thread at a time. “It should
only be an inch and a half — these WRONG. IT'S electrified tweezers to extract the wish-
bone — her favourite part.

LIKE A ZOMBIE
are two inches.” She shakes her head. “Is this helping?” Walter asks.
Cheryl sits on the floor next to her sister. “It’s certainly matching how strange
“I won’t be okay if they die. That’s al- I feel”, she says.
ways been the issue — how alone I feel.
I married Burton because he doesn’t in- APOCALYPSE." When the game is over, she goes
into her parents’ bedroom, moves from
trude on my loneliness but at the same object to object, touching her moth-
time I’m never actually alone.” sence of humans the space between the tub and er’s things, moisturisers, custom-compounded
“I know”, Cheryl says. the towel rack will do. She sits on the floor, not sun creams made by the dermatologist, tanning
“I’m trying to be the big sister, the one in crying, maybe not breathing either. sprays.
charge, but it doesn’t come naturally.” She sits on the floor telling herself to let the Walter comes out of the bathroom wearing her
“You’re doing a great job. What’s the plan for tile hold her, let the grout be the cement that keeps father’s robe, his arms filled with pill bottles. “Did
later?” her whole. She digs her nails into the rubbery vein you know your dad was on all this stuff?”
“Later when?” Abigail asks. of caulking along the side of the tub, takes a deep “I don’t think he took all of it all the time”,
“Tonight, tomorrow and all the days after?” breath and instead of an exhalation out comes a she says.
she says. bellowing, puking wail. She sobs hysterically They play a game of dress-up, of tag, of jump-
“Burton would be fine with me just staying until her phone makes a loud ping. The ping acts ing on the bed, of calling out an event and then
here”, Abigail says, cutting the shag a little more like an off switch; the flood stops as suddenly as diving into the parents’ closets to get ready for it.
quickly. it started. She abruptly ceases crying and pulls the “Lunch at the club”, Walter calls out.
Cheryl realises that if Abigail stays, even for phone from her pocket; a text from Burton: “Abi- “Awards ceremony”, Cheryl says.
one night, it will create a whole new problem: gail arrived home — do you happen to know, did “Sylvia”, Walter says while wearing the fa-
Abigail will move back home and Cheryl will be she eat anything today?” ther’s tuxedo.
stuck living there with her — “She had a smoothie”, she types back, wiping “Ben”, she replies in her mother’s ball gown.
forever. mucus from her face. “Where did we go wrong?” she asks.
“That’s okay”, Cheryl says. “I’m fine to be on “Where are you?” Walter texts a little while “We got what we wanted”, he says.

61
JULY 2017
 “It’s like a kinky psychodrama”, she says. would show you how much my father valued “Come in”, Cheryl says, ushering him into her
“What time period are we in — before or af- your friendship?” father’s room — and out of view.
ter?” he asks. “You see that ring he’s wearing, the kind of “Holy shit”, the movie star says when he sees
“Let’s start with before”, she says. showy one with the emerald? As much as I don’t him. He takes out his fountain pen, the one he
They play until they run out of costumes, until like jewellery on a man, I always admired that likes to use for autographs, and stabs her father in
they can’t think of what else to say except things ring.” the bottom of his foot. The nib of the pen stays in
that are too painful to say, and then they lie down “It’s yours,” Cheryl says. the flesh when he pulls out and beyond that noth-
side by side on the parents’ bed — dressed for “Do I take it now?” ing happens, except ink leaks onto the floor. There
golf. Walter takes Cheryl’s hand — they sleep. “Sure”, Cheryl says. She has no idea why is no grimace, no jerking of the leg.
Cheryl wakes up at three AM and goes out she’s giving this jerk her father’s ring, but she’s Cheryl pushes the button in the wall, “Nurse,
to look at the moon. Even when it’s 100 during not going to back out now. Carlton picks up her can we have some wipes for a cleanup?”
the day, Los Angeles gets cold at night. It’s like father’s hand. “Be careful of the IV”, Cheryl says. “I guess I needed closure”, the movie star
a wine cooler — somewhere between 50 and 55 “It’s swollen”, Carlton says, holding her fa- says, plucking the nib like a thorn out of the bot-
degrees. The darkness is chalky black, the city be- ther’s hand in his own. tom of her father’s foot and departing.
low looks smaller, more consolidated than during “Yes, he’s retaining fluid.” At home, Dr Felt, the mother’s shrink, calls
the day. Through the night, she sees a lava lamp Carlton tries to take the ring off, to spin it repeatedly. He calls and hangs up and then calls
glowing in the neighbour’s house. She goes back from the finger. The ring’s not budging. He tries again like a stalker. He leaves a series of messages
for a blanket and in her room she finds of escalating intensity. “Are you on va-
a book that she loved as a kid, takes it cation?” “I can’t help but take it person-

THE MOVIE
outside along with a flashlight and the ally. Is there something you forgot to
blanket and sits by the pool reading, tell me?” “Have you no respect for our
pretending she is in another time. process?” And finally, “If you don’t call
She remembers reading stories
about children playing outside at night, STAR TAKES me, I’m going to have to release your
time — do you know how many people
catching fireflies in mayonnaise jars.
She found them comforting — until
she realised there was no such thing as a
OUT HIS want Monday, Wednesday and Friday
at 10 AM? That’s prime time, baby.”
There’s a long pause, then, “And you
mayonnaise jar in their house and there
were no fireflies in Los Angeles.
FOUNTAIN PEN know what, you’re really selfish, only
a selfish person would behave this way.
Across the top of the hill, a thin
white plume begins to rise — first
like steam creating a cloud of its own,
AND STABS HER You’re a bitch, a real bitch.”
“Do you want me to call him back?”
Walter asks when Cheryl plays him the
then it starts to blossom, filling out the
night sky like a balloon on a long nar-
FATHER IN messages.
She thinks of the one time she went
row string, blooming like a mushroom
cloud — are they smoke signals or spe-
cial effects?
THE FOOT. to see Dr Felt, who she always sus-
pected was having an affair with her
mother. “Do you want a boyfriend?” Dr
••• again, yanking the father sufficiently that an alarm Felt had asked her. “Yes,” she’d said. “Then you
There are visitors at the hospital. bell goes off and the game of tug-of-war has to need to lose 10 pounds”, he said.
Carlton, the father’s ex–best friend, is the first. be suspended until the nurse comes in and resets “I want to be the one who tells him”, she says
“You know that I gave your father his start”, he the machines. The nurse gives Carlton a tube of to Walter as she’s dialling. “Hello, Dr Felt, it’s
says. Surgilube; he greases the finger with a grotesque Cheryl.” There’s a pause; he has no idea who she
“I know”, Cheryl says; this is what Carlton pumping motion that prompts Cheryl to look is. “Sylvia’s daughter.”
always says. away. “Oh,” Dr. Felt says, clearly surprised.
“I’m the one who encouraged him to go into “Got it”, Carlton announces, exiting with his She proceeds to tell him what happened to
the law. He wanted to be an actor and I told him, shiny prize. both her mother and her father and when she’s
forget it. You’re good-looking but you’ve got no “I wish I had better news for you”, Abigail finished all Dr Felt says is, “I’ll need some kind of
talent. It was me who made it happen, I brought says when the agitated movie-star client arrives official confirmation”.
him clients before he had any. As far as I’m con- with his assistant. She’s stunned. “Like what?”
cerned, I sent you kids to school, I paid for your “I don’t believe it for a minute”, the movie star “A report from the hospital would suffice. It’s
mother’s face-lifts and, see that bag his pee is go- says. “Some people will go to any length not to quite the story you’re telling me. In order to be-
ing into, I probably paid for that too. And what have to tell me to my face that it’s over. If he wants lieve it, I’ll need to see some paperwork.”
does he do for me, nothing.” to dump me he should just say so.” His voice is She snorts — involuntarily.
“Carlton”, Cheryl says, “is there something loud, recognisable — people stare. “I may be a big “I’ll say good-bye now — Cheryl”, Dr Felt
we could do that would make you feel better, that baby but it’s not like I can’t take it.” says, pausing before saying her name, like there’s

62
JULY 2017
something about it that’s bitter on his tongue.
•••
The hospital schedules a family meeting. The
doctor, whose name is embroidered on his long
white coat, begins, “The problem with modern
medicine is we’re able to keep people alive who
in any other country would have died within hours
of the event. Sometimes we’re lucky, but more of-
ten we end up here”, he pauses. “In the land of
difficult decisions.”
“I’ve been doing a neurological stimulation
program”, Abigail says. “Twice a day for 15 min-
utes, I tell my father the jokes, read the letter from
the White House, and for my mother, I wave her
favourite coffee beans under her nose…”
“Your parents are not asleep”, the doctor says.
“What’s the best-case scenario?” Cheryl asks,
cutting to the chase.
“That depends on what you’re looking for”,
the doctor says. “Some families hope the patient
lives for a very long time, even if it’s like a pot-
ted plant. And others hope the end comes quickly,
peacefully.”
“I love you, you asshole”, she says, pressing beds, so the nurse can put her feet up.
“If it was your parent, what would you wish
the photo to her heart and hugging him. The smell of the food one of the nurses brings
for?” Cheryl asks.
“I’ll see you soon”, Walter says. for lunch upsets Abigail, who first looks pale and
“I would wish I didn’t have to make a choice”,
It takes a lot of negotiation — lawyers, sign- then begins to froth, bubbles of saliva beading on
the doctor says.
offs — to get Sylvia and Ben out of the hospital. her lips. She retches. “Can you say something,
Abigail is angry. “I think they’re lying”, she
“No backsies”, one of the hospital administra- please?” she begs Cheryl.
says. “That’s what they say to keep you here.
tors says. “If you take them home, you agree to Cheryl goes into the kitchen. “Excuse me….”
They want you to beg them to keep your loved
take full responsibility. If something goes wrong, The nurse looks up from her lunch, as if to say,
ones, it’s all about getting the business.”
you can’t bring them back to us.” if your request is going to interrupt my meal —
“I didn’t get that feeling”, Cheryl says, and her
“We understand”, Cheryl says. that’s gonna be a problem.
voice cracks.
The furniture is moved to the edges of the liv- “Would it be okay if you ate outside?”
“You should get them out of there”, Walter
ing room. The carpets are rolled up. Using blue “Pardon?” she asks as if deeply offended.
says.
painter’s tape, Cheryl and Abigail mark off two “Is there a medical reason I should eat outside?
“Where would we take them — on vaca-
large rectangles on the floor indicating where the Our contract says that we are allowed to bring in
tion?” Cheryl asks. She is not so secretly angry
hospital beds will go. They unfurl a padded fluo- our own food and be provided with equipment to
that Walter is leaving tomorrow for a family trip
rescent orange safety mat. “It’s antimicrobial", the heat or refrigerate it. I just want to know if there’s
to Croatia.
man from the hospital supply company says. a medical reason — like do you have an allergy?”
“Home”, Walter says.
The beds arrive and the night before their “My sister is sensitive to food odors.”
The thought had never occurred to her.
parents come home Cheryl and Abigail sleep “That’s not a medical reason”, the nurse says,
“You need to get them out before something
there, pretending it’s a special kind of a spa. In taking another bite of whatever is in her bowl.
worse happens”, he says.
the morning a crew brings the heavy equipment, “It’s very hard for her to be around food”,
“Worse like what?”
ventilators, IV pumps, stacks of sheets, diapers, Cheryl says.
“Flesh-eating bacteria. MRSA, gangrene. Be-
an enormous assembly of goods. “Mom would be “So?”
fore they start cutting off pieces of them.”
pleased”, Abigail says. “She loves high produc- “Mental illnesses are medical conditions”,
“Walter is right”, Abigail says. “They need to
tion values.” Cheryl says.
be home.”
The mother and father come home in a convoy “Fine, tell her to get a note from the doctor and
That night before he leaves, Walter pulls out
of special intensive care ambulances. The nurse I’ll show it to my supervisor.”
his wallet.
comes with them and does the unpacking, the Later, Abigail, exhausted, resists going home.
“I don’t need your money”, Cheryl says.
fine-tuning. “I promise you”, Cheryl says. “Nothing will
He hands her a photograph of her brother,
It’s like having a new baby or a pet; there’s a happen while you’re gone.”
Billy. “It’s his class picture from second grade”,
lot of anxiety, wanting to be sure they get it right. “You won’t leave them alone, will you?”
Walter says. “He gave it to me and I carry it like
Cheryl pushes her father’s Barcalounger into the “I’ll be right here.”
a talisman, a reminder to trust myself and not let
living room and parks it between the hospital •••
others negate my experience.”

63
JULY 2017
Early the next morning Burton shows up; he finds Abigail loved — Tu Es Moi — and celebrate her happened. There’s a peculiar absence of noise.
Cheryl outside by the pool. “Where’s Abigail?” life in foams. They have a flight of foams — 15 of Silence holds the air. The pool pump has stopped,
“She’s home.” There’s a long pause. “She them, each one under 10 calories, everything from the compressor for the air conditioner is hushed.
didn’t wake up this morning.” Thanksgiving Dinner to Salted Caramel Pastrami. Cheryl hurries inside; the clock on the microwave
“She’ll be over later?” Cheryl asks. When they get back to the house, Cheryl opens is dark, the television screen is flat black. There
“Her body gave out, her heart stopped.” her father’s safe, counts out six months’ pay and are high-pitched alarms, squeals like helium bal-
“What does that mean?” gives it to Esmeralda. “You need a vacation”, she loons coming from the living room. Her first im-
“It means she’s gone. Abigail died.” says. “Tell me where you want to go and I’ll trans- pulse is to call Abigail and then she remembers,
Cheryl is overcome with the strangest sensa- fer the miles from my father’s account.” there is no more Abigail. She switches the alarms
tion of rising up, levitating, a kind of liberation “It is too much to say goodbye to everybody all off, turns to her parents and says, “I’m not sure
that feels entirely unfamiliar. She doesn’t under- at once”, Esmeralda says, and begins to cry. you noticed, but the power went out. We’ve been
stand it. Why is this her reaction? Has she been so “I know”, Cheryl says, comforting her. “But having a heat wave, it’s probably a rolling black-
terrified about what might happen to Abigail that this isn’t goodbye, it’s just a chance for us to gath- out. There are backup batteries. You’re currently
the absence of fear, the absence of the weight is er ourselves and make sense of things. The fact is, at 95 percent. All is good. I’m just going to step
causing her to float away? And is this it? Is this the I need to be alone for a little bit.” outside for a minute and see if I can learn more.”
kind of floating that Abigail was afraid of? Or was Esmeralda nods tearfully, “You’re all grown Cheryl goes out the front door, wanting to con-
that something else? up”. firm that the blackout is not theirs alone. A man in
She looks around — nothing is out of place. The funeral is followed by a Facebook shivah a white hazmat suit is wandering down the middle
Abigail is dead, but still the coffee automatically — Cheryl posts a message about Abigail’s death, of the street, swinging what looks like an incense
made itself, the newspapers were delivered, the and then the rabbi who married them adds a post, box in front of him, back and forth like a priest
morning nurse arrived and fed and changed her and Cheryl and Burton follow it each evening at Christmas. “Has anyone seen my queen?” he
cries. “My queen has flown away.” She
realises it’s the neighbour. “Stay inside”,
A MAN IN A HAZMAT SUIT he shouts. “The swarm is loose.” She

WANDERS THE STREET. "HAS hears the air buzzing and quickly closes
the door.

ANYONE SEEN MY QUEEN? She sends Burton a text, but it

bounces back. She calls the nurse stuck
THE SWARM IS LOOSE." in traffic from her cell phone but the call
doesn’t go through. She goes from room
to room looking for a landline. In Abi-
parents. She got away, she thinks. for seven days by posting a remembrance at sun- gail’s closet she finds the powder-blue princess
“What do you think killed her?” Cheryl asks. down. Old friends add memories of their own. phone. It feels lighter than she remembers a phone
“Malnutrition and a weakening of the heart”, And after seven days Cheryl and Burton write a feeling. She turns it over—the bottom is covered
Burton says. “The last few weeks were especially thank you note to everyone and post more photos. with duct tape. She peels it off; the insides of the
difficult.” Now that it is just Cheryl and her parents, phone have been removed. Four loose joints fall
“She was terrified about being left alone”, Cheryl spends more time talking to the nurses; out. She can’t reach Walter.
Cheryl says. There is a long silence. she learns things about her parents, details about The house gets warmer and starts to smell
“What would she have wanted?” Burton asks. their skin, their smells, their habits. They may not of urine and shit. Cheryl opens the glass doors.
“I don’t think she’d like to be in a coffin”, be able to communicate — but there are things the There are birds outside, the sounds of dogs bark-
Cheryl says. “She would think a coffin made her body enjoys. The night nurse tells her that her fa- ing, children playing in a pool, a woman talking
look fat. She would like to be made as small as ther likes a little pot smoke blown in his face. “His in the distance.
possible, to fit inside a pill bottle.” She turns to blood pressure goes down, his digestion is better.” Meanwhile, the red and green lights blink
Burton, “Will there be a funeral? And what about She nods. The nurse blows a little smoke in her and the machines continue to breathe for her
the after-bit? I don’t think we can do it here at the face; she breathes deeply. He does it again. “I’ve mom and dad. The IV bags keep dripping. And
house, in front of them?” also got edibles if you want some,” he says. her parents, Sylvia and Ben, remain unchanged,
The funeral is small; Abigail is buried next to On Thursday at three PM when the morning their bladders emptying into the plastic contain-
their brother in a row of plots the parents bought nurse has to leave for her shift in the ER and the ers at the end of the beds.
when Billy died. “They bought more than they three-to-midnight nurse is stuck in traffic coming Cheryl keeps thinking she should do some-
needed — in the hopes the family would expand”, from Orange County, Cheryl isn’t worried. “Not a thing, but there is nothing to be done.
the funeral director tells Cheryl and Burton. problem”, she says. “It’s okay. I can be alone with An hour later, as the backup batteries begin to
They stand in their black clothes with their my parents for an hour. Just go.” fade, Cheryl gets the favourite book from her child-
sunglasses on against the bleached sky, the back- The morning nurse leaves, grateful. Cheryl, a hood, sits in the Barcalounger between her parents
drop of the city behind them. Burton, Cheryl and little nervous, sits between her parents, and then and begins to read aloud. When she is done, she takes
Esmeralda. It’s the first time they’ve left the par- after a few minutes goes outside. her father’s right hand and her mother’s left and draws
ents home alone with only a nurse. She is out by the pool when the power goes them to her, holding them close, on her chest, over her
On the way home they stop at the one restaurant off. It takes her a few seconds to realise what’s heart, praying, waiting. n

64
JULY 2017
 POLITICS

Fighting the real war on

FAKE NEWS A report from the White House Press Room

Back in April, on the night of the White House cylinders, pushing back against an administration
Correspondents’ Dinner, a reporter from the that is more antagonistic toward the press than
United Kingdom turned to his US counterpart any other president since Richard Nixon. (Nixon’s
and said in a low voice, “The war against us is famous line “One can only be angry with those he
real”. respects” could be a Trump tweet cleaned up by a
The American reporter, who had spent high school English teacher.)
countless hours in presidential press briefings, On April 19, after it became known that the
replied, “Try spending time at the White House”. fleet President Trump had said was steaming for
The White House briefing room has seats North Korea was actually going in a different
for 49 and standing room for up to 60 more. direction, Trey Yingst of One America News
Reporters from around the world gather in that Network, Kaitlan Collins of the Daily Caller
room almost every day; nearby, President Donald and Jessica Stone from CCTV (now CGTN)
Trump calls those same reporters enemies of the asked a series of questions that put Spicer on
state. The real fun begins when White House the ropes. Yingst started out by asking how the
Press Secretary Sean Spicer (at press time, he still administration thought the fleet was “thousands of
holds that title) defends the president while trying miles” from its actual location. Spicer sputtered.
to make sense of the man’s statements. According “The president said we had an armada going
to congressmen from both parties and reporters toward the peninsula; that’s a fact”, he said. Stone
inside the room, Spicer’s performance has only to those allegations he says, “There’s some people then asked how the mistake could not be “falsely”
highlighted the gap between the appearance the who it will never be enough”. encouraging to our allies. Spicer again sputtered,
administration wants to project and the facts the Mason, for one, says the level of openness has and Collins delivered the knockout blow by
president wishes us all to ignore. been “surprising and encouraging.” reminding Spicer that the fleet wasn’t going
“We have had a lot of challenges”, says But then there are the tweets. Historically, where the administration had claimed. “Don’t you
Jeff Mason, president of the White House Spicer is in a unique position: His boss bypasses think it’s a little misleading?” she asked. “What
Correspondents’ Association. “We’ve worked the media by firing off micro-pronouncements part is misleading?” Spicer said. Game over. The
hard for the right to do our jobs.” laced with vitriol and questionable claims. Spicer’s fact that all three reporters represented upstart
From the beginning, it has been a difficult standard response is a koan of evasiveness: “The news outlets, two of them deep in the political
task. When the president and his chief strategist, tweet speaks for itself.” spectrum’s red zone, suggests that Spicer’s press
Steve Bannon, bash the press, Spicer must back While Spicer’s briefings have been compared room is sometimes able to carry out its mandate,
them up while assuring reporters that the president to the loss of one’s virginity (very short, and I despite and because of his best efforts.
has a “healthy respect for the First Amendment.” didn’t enjoy it much), he’s not the only one sowing Speculation continues as to the man’s
Asked if he shares his boss’s contempt for the confusion in the press room. He has been hit with longevity, particularly after his comparison of
press, Spicer says, “I think there’s some legitimate asinine and downright bewildering questions, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad with Hitler.
reporters who do a good job and a lot who are including one about whether the president Either way, the president’s war against the media
more interested in perpetuating false narratives favoured the Caps or the Rangers in the NHL goes on, even as pundits call his battle against
than getting the story right.” — on the day the American military dropped the “fake news” a “fake war”.
Seen in a certain light, Spicer has taken steps so-called mother of all bombs on Afghanistan. Meanwhile, Americans are ever more confused
toward democratising his press room. He often Sometimes it’s apparent reporters aren’t listening as to what is real and what isn’t. Such confusion
calls on reporters from beyond the first row of to one another or following up on one another’s works to the benefit of an administration seeking
national print and television outlets. He has also questions. Some seem more interested in to make radical changes to health care, the budget,
instituted a Skype video screen so reporters appearing on TV than “seeking factual answers international relations and more. The war in the
outside the Beltway can get involved. Some critics to important questions”, as the legendary White press room is indeed real and its consequences
say that these are merely tools he uses to call on House reporter Helen Thomas once said. dire, but there are far bigger battles to fight on the
more sympathetic and less-established reporters; But on occasion, the press corps hits on all other side of the smokescreen. n

66
JULY 2017
 67
JULY 2017
 SEX

Expanding Your

SEXUAL FRONTIERS ...a Rough Guide

Take it from an activist, entrepreneur and alt-porn icon: Your ticket to Pleasure Town
is simple curiosity

We don’t have remote controls for like the idea of having your wrists
our brains (yet), but we do know restrained by your partner’s hands,
that novelty raises our dopamine try using some easily escapable thick
levels and that leaving our comfort ribbon; if you enjoy that, dive into
zones for areas that feel taboo can handcuffs or advanced rope bondage.
trigger the whole thumping-heart, Tactile sensations can range from
sweating-palms adventure we credit to fingertip caresses to the isolated pricks
adrenaline. of a Wartenberg wheel to the sharp
In her book Moody Bitches, Dr Julie heat of a single-tail whip. An interest
Holland explains how an increase in in group sex can lead to a poly munch
dopamine and adrenaline in the body (i.e., a casual, semi-public gathering
can result in a surge of testosterone, dedicated to discussing polyamory
which in turn contributes to sexual rather than practising it) and then
arousal. Put simply, investigating the to a sex party, where easing into
unknown may make you want to have things by first observing is absolutely
sex more often and can improve the acceptable.
sex you’re already having. There’s a Perhaps most important, reversing
solid case for developing your sense roles can expand your understanding
of sexual curiosity — and I’m here to of another person’s body. Acting as the
help. recipient if you tend to top — or being
Novelty is subjective. The space inside another person when you’re
between our boundaries and what we’re usually the one who is penetrated —
familiar with is different for each individual. my own observations that may help you can lead to powerful insights into what your
Hence the handy grid on the opposite page: a boldly go where you’ve never gone before. partner feels. We all know that a pegging
tip-of-the-iceberg look at the sexual-adventure Sometimes exploration is simply a matter session is worth a thousand think pieces,
spectrum, running from private and relatively of being more present in your body. The and that’s because physical empathy is a
easy, in the lower-left corner, to more daring, patches of skin we tend to forget — behind the profoundly intimate connection.
in the upper right. Which quadrant feels most ears, under the breasts, next to the balls — can If you don’t know where to start, ask
like home? Find your co-ordinates, and then be stealth erogenous zones. Watching ASMR yourself, What do I want that I have not
PHOTOGRAPH BY RYAN LOWRY

ask yourself if any of the surrounding plot videos (see the lower-left quadrant) may give experienced? Whether it’s a tryst with a
points pique your interest. The seasoned you a pleasurable tingle, and that tingle may vibrator, an affair with your old babysitter or
sexual voyager may even discover that the become erotically charged. Subtraction works something else entirely, listen to your urges
more “vanilla” options are where the real too: Covering your eyes intensifies your and make your fantasies a reality — or as
adventure lies. Sometimes a feather is just as awareness of what you smell, hear and feel. close to it as possible. And if none of these
powerful as a flogging. Exploration should be methodical, a suggestions whets your appetite, look in the
Meanwhile, allow me to share three of process of trouser-parts titration. If you gaps between and beyond.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SERGE SEIDLITZ

68
JULY 2017
 THRILL SEEKER

Three words:
Eyes wide shut
Bring in a third
partner

Descend into
a dungeon
Play with pain

Check out a
Experiment live sex show
with restraints

Take a naked
bike ride

Pucker up for
a kissing party

Silly games
AT HOME

ABROAD
Reverse roles Bone up
with your partner

Attend a poly
munch

Build a mutual
fantasy
Head to
Hump! fest
Find porn that
arouses you and
your partner Take in a
burlesque show

Get a sex toy Sex-shop

subscription challenge

Have you
tried texting Make out (and
more) in public
See
Explore Tumblr's professional
porn tags cuddler
Read erotic
fiction aloud
Watch ASMR in bed
videos Oysters, anyone?

WEEKENDER

1. The cheesier the better — erotic dice, sex bingo, kinky truth or dare. Laughter can be an aphrodisiac. 2. Modern sex
stores often have classes on everything from vocaliszing desires to learning intricate rope bondage. 3. The improv way:
You propose something you find arousing, and the other builds on it. For example, “We’re in an alley at night”. “Yes, and
I’m.…” 4. Set a timer for five minutes. Enter a sex shop. Buy something. Go home and use it.
ASHLYN
SINGH
Photography by RYAN DWYER Booked by MAINSTREET PRODUCTIONS Text by JASON FLEETWOOD

70
JULY 2017
 71
JULY 2017
Ashlyn Singh was born in Eugene, Oregon and relocated to Las Vegas as a child
which she has made her principle residence for many years. Based on a burning
passion to become bilingual she made Cabo San Lucas, Mexico her second
home while she studied Spanish and immersed herself in Mexican culture and
the language.

Currently Ashlyn travels back and forth from Cabo to Vegas for work, where
she works as a vibrant scintillating model, glamour caddy and ambiance master.
During the day she can be found working a convention, drawing attention to
the booth, enhancing the client experience, while encouraging more traffic and
sales. It is common for her to work with international organisations, for example,
Ashlyn recently added Canadian company, NV Inc. to her clientele as spokes
model for their inauguration in the American market place which is scheduled
for August 2017.

One might encounter Ashlyn on the golf course educating golfers on how to
play a hole providing both the aggressive line and the strategic play. She will
help in filling in divots, making club selection, marking balls and repairing ball
marks. If luck is on your side you will encounter her serving mouth watering
drinks at the hottest pool venues in Vegas or playing a sexy video starlet. Her
provocative sex appeal combined with spunky, witty personality has made
her an ideal asset for atmosphere gigs. During the late evening you may spot
her in a G-string and pasties in a tub full of rose pedals or lounging around in
lingerie creating an unforgettable experience for partygoers. It would be no
big surprise to sit beside her on your next flight as she is a known jet-setter
following her lust for travel and adventure.

The June 2017 edition of Maxim Africa was the venue for yet an additional
opportunity for Ashlyn aficionados to enjoy her sparkle.
September 2016 Ashlyn was a Nevada finalist, placing third, in the Miss JetSet
Magazine contest to raise money for childhood cancer. Sports Illustrated
featured Ashlyn Memorial Day Weekend 2016 with the prestigious honour as
“The Lovely Lady of the Day”. The year 2014 again brought Ashlyn international
exposure as she was named Miss Kite Spain which had followed close on the
heels of a previous international engagement that occurred in August 2013
where she was featured in a six-page photo spread for FHM Magazine Turkey.

Some of her commercial projects include Cannery Resort, ESPN Hardbat

and two Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority commercials for “What
Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas” and “Only in Vegas”. She has also achieved principle
roles for Boost Mobile, a speaking role for Miracle Image and the principal role
in Benny Benassi and Gary Go hit “Cinema”. Her ability to successfully create a
high-quality image has allowed her to work with companies such as Hersey’s,
Express Clothing, Verizon Wireless, Crest, Tirefly’s, Playstation, Transact, Mason
Medical, Best Humidors along with many others.

Her outgoing personality has made her a desirable component for atmosphere
roles in major nightclubs like PURE, LAX, Lavo, Encore Beach Club, Surrender
and mostly known for Tao, becoming a main attraction and appearing weekly
in 2009 to 2011. Her industry knowledge, professionalism motivation and
diversity, resulted in working for some of the best pool parties in Vegas like
Encore Beach Club and Rehab. Also becoming the #1 rebooked Caddy with
Platinum Tees in 2009 and 2010.
She is pro-active in the industry and continues to pursue new opportunities
and experiences.

73
JULY 2017
 75
JULY 2017
 77
JULY 2017
 78
JULY 2017
 79
JULY 2017
 80
JULY 2017
 81
JULY 2017
 Tia
McDonald
Photography by JOEY WRIGHT Booked by NOVA PRIME PR

82
JULY 2017
 83
JULY 2017
 84
JULY 2017
Tell our readers a little bit about yourself bag of gifts. My sibling is autistic, and there wasn’t any pageant
I’m a globe-trotting, runway-walking, beach-loving gal who just available for people who are mentally or physically challenged.
can’t resist an adventure! I was previously Miss Florida, and I’ve To date, there are now more than 20 special needs pageants up
raised more than 150 000 USD and 5 cars for families in need. and running around the US.
Because of that, I was awarded the President’s Gold, Silver,
and Bronze Service Award, Governor’s Point of Light Honor, What is the first thing you notice about a guy?
Proclamation from the Mayor of New Smyrna Beach, USA. His eyes. They are the windows to the soul.

What would you say is one of the most significant points in What would an immediate turn-off be?
your career? Snaggleteeth and over confidence.
My first job at 16 was working the 24 hours of Le Mans in France as
their official race girl, and that opened up doors for me, leading to How far would you go on a first date?
me working races and shoots around the world. I’ve since travelled I personally would rather get to know someone before getting
to Canada, the Virgin Islands, England, Spain, Italy, Greece, Japan, physical, but if we really hit it off, I can’t help but have a little
China, Thailand, Australia, and more. Some of my favourite events evening kiss. I do love to cuddle, though.
were attending the Cannes Film Festival and walking in New York
Fashion Week last year. What would you consider dirty-talk?
Less words, more action. I have my trigger words, but why ruin
Worst job you had before modelling? the mystery?
I thought I was going to be in a Geico insurance commercial
while I was at the University of Florida, but I misunderstood What is the weirdest thing you have ever found attractive in a
and I ended up being a lizard mascot at a football game and guy?
had to wear a bulky outfit in swampy heat. I had about 20 I love nerds. There’s something about those brains. And, there’s
students who drunkenly grabbed or sat on my tail and tried nothing better than talking tech.
to rip my “head” off.
What does a man have to do to impress you/win you over?
How would you describe yourself in 5 words? Pick my brain about the universe and things that are meaningful
Determined, loyal, trustworthy, happy, and loving. to me.

Do you have any hidden talents? What is the funniest pickup line a guy has used on you?
I sang opera at Disney World with a choir backing me. You have pretty eyeballs. I didn’t know that was even a thing but
it made me giggle so points for effort.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Possibly on Maxim’s Hot 100 list. I’ve attended their event Tell us one of your worst or uncomfortable date stories
every year and it’s been a personal goal of mine for as long as A guy came over to pick me up and I had a picture of my brother
I can remember. who passed away up on my wall (the guy probably assumed it was
a picture of my ex). He asked me who the ugly guy in the picture
When do you feel sexy? was… (my brother was a model on Dawson’s Creek). That ended
On the runway. I was previously Miss Florida, and placed at Miss the date REAL quick.
US, and I can truly say I always feel my best when I’m on the
catwalk (Meow ^_^). Have you ever been hit on by a woman?
Yes, a few times. I must say, it’s super flattering, but I just love
What is your favourite city in the world and why? men too much.
Sydney, Australia. I was there for 3 months for a study and while
there, I travelled from Melbourne to The Great Barrier Reef. I What was your first kiss like?
learned about reef preservation and was humbled to experience It was a dare. Super wet and sloppy. I think I waited like five years
its natural wonder and rich sea life. before kissing a guy again.

How do you relax? I’m all about meditation and breathing in the What was it like shooting on location?
salty beach air. It was an absolute dream. The views were surreal, the food… even
better. I enjoyed myself so much that had to pinch myself a few
Name someone (alive) you would really like to meet (and times to make sure it was happening for real. I grew up having other
why?) Winnie Harlow. She’s not only one of the world’s most kids make fun of me for not being “pretty enough”, so I would say
high profile models, but she’s proved that your differences are the little Tia would be very happy.
what make you beautiful and that you can be successful no
matter where you come from. How was it shooting with your photographer?
I couldn’t help but have so many moments of gratitude. The
What are 3 things you can’t live without? entire team is so talented at what they do, and you can truly see
My momma, my cellphone and my pho soup. their passion turn to art.

Are you involved in any special projects or charities? How did you feel while shooting?
Community service hasn’t been just a hobby, but a commitment Empowered. I grew up on the beach, and I surfed a lot so I’m
that I have to people who can’t speak for themselves, and most comfortable in my bikini.
I’m so grateful and proud to be able to contribute to causes
I care about. I started a pageant for special needs children, Anything interesting or notable happen that we should know
called “Our Shining Stars” Pageant, along with a cheer team about?
for underprivileged girls that won 1st place at state after only Aside from almost falling off a 200-foot balcony onto a bunch
2 weeks of forming. I started Our Shining Stars when I was 10 of cactuses, all went extremely well. Santorini is known for extreme
years old, and it’s still going strong. Each year, we have about winds, and there’s actually a lot of photos of the wind picking me up,
60 contestants, and every contestant wins a crown and a huge along with my 20-foot long dress which opened up like a parachute.

85
JULY 2017
 86
JULY 2017
 Hometown:
Daytona Beach, Florida USA.

Current Residence:
San Diego, California.

Current Job:
Co-founder of @SkinnyFit Detox
Tea, and a supportive voice to
more than 30 million people trying
to live a healthier lifestyle.

Heritage/Ethnicity:
Native American, French and
Danish. Nickname? T-Bird – I fly
around the world.

Fears?
I have a huge fear of monkeys!
Although I love animals, I recently
went to Thailand where there was
an island full of them, and their giant
red eyes terrified me! It didn’t help
that they were attacking people for
their cellphones and food! I mean,
who do they need to text?
Life motto?
Shoot for the moon, if you miss,
you’ll land among the stars.

What’s some good advice?

Don’t let your struggle become
your identity.

Your Favourite Car?

1967 Shelby GT 500 Mustang.

What is sexy to you?

Being confident in your own skin
and intelligence.

Favourite TV Show?
Shark Tank and I’m always excited
for Miss Universe.
Favourite Movie?
Forrest Gump, classics never get old.

Current book you’re reading? 7

Habits of Highly Effective People.

87
JULY 2017
 88
JULY 2017
COSTUME: ARIA SWIMWEAR, MAKEUP: EDNA TROGEN, HAIR: SIMONA BARBATO.
 89
JULY 2017
ARE YOU EXPERIENCED
Testing out the fledgling US Airbnb Experiences, our writer takes an inebriated tour of Detroit with a
former guitarist for Kid Rock and a gaggle of new friends (including one lizard man)

f
s
e
b
R IC EL
By
E AG m
N a
TZ
SPI
“No shit? You’re Kid Rock’s guitarist?” assures us. It’s the latest stop on a citywide reads BLIND BOB THE LIZZARD MAN — met
Kenny Olson smiles at the two tour that has been meandering at best. So Olson during a recent rock-and-roll fantasy
20-something male tourists from Pittsburgh, far, we’ve seen the Motown museum, Saint camp in Hollywood and decided he needed to
both of whom seem genuinely starstruck. Andrew’s Hall (where Eminem got his first make the pilgrimage to Detroit.
“Used to be”, Olson says in a raspy break) and the Majestic club. Olson has There’s also Frank Faisst, a German
baritone. “I’m doing other stuff now. Got a played at every venue except Motown, but his corporate exec who deejays and shoots music
gig tonight.” He gestures toward a poster on ex–father-in-law was one of the Temptations. videos on the side, barely speaks English and
the wall behind him, which features a picture Skip Franklin, Olson’s manager, inserts is dressed as though he’s heading to an S&M
of Olson himself wailing on a guitar. himself between us and the Pittsburgh dungeon. He’s here with Dacia Bridges, a
The tourists lean in for a closer look. admirers, ushering us back toward the limo. Michigan native who has spent the past two
“Kenny Olson and Friends”, one of them “Come on, guys, let’s keep it moving!” he decades in Germany, working on her dance
reads aloud from the poster. They turn to barks at us. “We’re on a schedule here.” This and electronica singing career. Rounding out
look at me and my small assortment of new is not entirely true. Other than driving around our travelling party is Bella Bond, a small-
friends hovering near Olson. The majority of looking for music landmarks, we don’t really framed brunette with enormous fake breasts
us are dressed in black leather, all of it way have anyplace to be until sound check at — she shared this info with me moments
too tight for healthy circulation. Also, one of seven PM. But we happily play along with after we met — that are barely contained
us is wearing a lizard mask. the ruse, because there’s something thrilling by a skimpy leather halter top. She travelled
“These your friends?” the tourists ask about having a big, burly rock manager, with here from West Palm Beach, Florida, where
Olson. a face that looks like it’s not unaccustomed to she works as a model (mostly for biker
“Fuck yeah”, Blind Bob shouts back. receiving punches, treat you like somebody conventions) and has a doctorate in pharmacy.
Blind Bob — his nickname isn’t hyperbole; too important to talk to civilians. Oh, and she has minor brain damage.
he’s actually blind — is the one in a lizard Back in the limo, Olson unfurls another “I got hit by two trucks, in the head”, she
mask, which makes his declaration especially rock tale — something about debating the tells me. “I was driving, and they smooshed
ominous. many variations on the peanut-butter-and- my car. The front was fine, but the trunk
“You guys in a band?” they ask. jam sandwich with Michael Jackson. Olson was pushed up into the passenger’s seat.
We laugh, but nobody answers. Because is easy to like. He’s scraggy and disheveled, Whatever cut my head was in my trunk. I
technically, no, we’re not. We’re just Olson’s with a paunch and a big grin that peeks out don’t remember. I had amnesia.”
entourage, or at least we are today. What’s of a gray goatee. He zigzags between topics “Wow”, I respond, not sure what else to
more, we paid for those bragging rights. randomly, following no apparent logic. One say. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
We’ve signed up for Motor City Rocks, a new minute he’s explaining why that Journey “The doctor said I’m not at full mental
Airbnb “Experience” that offers a different song “Don’t Stop Believin’ ” sucks
kind of vacation. For R4 900 a head, we get because there’s no such thing as
to drive around Detroit in a limo, get day-
drunk and listen to a guy who used to tour
“South Detroit.” Then, apropos of
nothing, he’s telling us about the
“I think the
with Kid Rock tell stories about rock excess time Joe C, Kid Rock’s three-foot- best kind of
and that time Florence Henderson grabbed
his ass backstage.
nine sidekick, tried to beat up Gary
Coleman during the video shoot for travel is when
Olson has had an impressive music career
for a relatively unknown axman. He was Kid
“Cowboy”.
This is his first full-fledged
you become a
Rock’s lead guitarist for 11 years, providing
riffs and blistering solos for such hits as
Motor City Rocks outing for
Airbnb. The first few were just
new person.”
“Bawitdaba”, “Cowboy” and “Only God “test runs”, he says. “They were
Knows Why”. He quit recording and touring mostly friends coming in from out of town. capacity”, she tells me. “So, if I forget your
with Rock in the mid-2000s — “The reasons We’d just drive around and laugh.” Which name, I’m sorry. I’m not all there.”
are complicated”, Olson says — but he hasn’t isn’t all that different from what we’re doing It might be the drugs talking— when
been hurting for opportunities. He’s played now. But the customer base has definitely somebody pulled out a joint, I didn’t say no —
with the likes of Metallica, Sheryl Crow and expanded. Our group includes Blind Bob, but this is hands-down the most entertaining
Snoop Dogg. Keith Richards once called him a New Yorker by way of South Carolina vacation I’ve taken in years. And I say that
“one of the best rock guitarists on the scene who lost his eyesight in an “explosion” (the as somebody who never much cared for Kid
right now”. details are sketchy) and rebuilds car engines Rock, or white-boy rap-rock in general. I’m
We’re outside Third Man Records, the for a living (the details of how he does that not even all that impressed with the Detroit
vinyl shop and recording studio of Detroit without the gift of sight are also sketchy) but music scene. I love Iggy Pop and Motown but
native Jack White. Olson doesn’t know White whose real passion is drumming. Blind Bob not enough to fill my phone with photos of
personally, but “the store is pretty badass”, he — he hands everyone a business card that the empty stages where they once performed.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY RYAN LOWRY

91
JULY 2017
Left: Kenny Olson (standing, third from left) and the patrons of his Motor City Rocks Experience. Right: Olson onstage with the Scorpio Brothers.

There’s nothing about this tour that’s nearly to a Marshall amp. He told me, ‘When Bob his lingering disappointment helped inspire
as exclusive or “underground” as promised. looks at you, take a solo. And then when he Experiences, which Chesky promised would
Get yourself a flask and a GPS and you could looks at you again, stop.’ That was the only make vacations “magical” again. How do
easily re-create it. But you’d be missing the thing I knew going in.” you do that? By using the “hero’s journey”
point. Like that old saying goes, it’s not about We all nod in quiet reverence, sitting in narrative structure coined by mythologist
the destination; it’s about taking the journey the dark and staring at the stage that has seen Joseph Campbell.
with a blind drummer, a German in tight so much history. Even Olson is at a loss for “A character starts in their ordinary world”,
leather and a guy who used to perform in words. But then Blind Bob breaks the silence. Chesky explained. “They cross the threshold
front of thousands with a little person. “Are we done here?” he shouts, scooping his — think Wizard of Oz — to this new magical
We pull up to the Fox Theatre, where seeing-eye dog, Buddy, off the ground. “It’s world, where they meet people… They have
Olson has arranged for an all-access drink-30. Let’s do some fucking shots!” a moment of transformation, and they return
backstage tour. We’re joined by a few others, We all laugh. Classic Bob move! to the ordinary world.”
most of them musicians performing tonight ••• You couldn’t ask for a better summation
with Olson. Tino Gross, a local bluesman Last November, Airbnb co-founder
who looks like a character from a Tom Waits
song — he’s a skinny white guy in a fedora
and CEO Brian Chesky unveiled
the company’s new Experiences Some of the
and black sunglasses with a voice that sounds
like he smoked a pack of cigarettes before
program to an audience at LA’s
Orpheum Theatre. In his speech, he
Experiences
breakfast — tells me he performed in this
very theatre with Bob Dylan.
recalled pleading with his parents
as a child to take a family trip to
sound like
“I was in the lobby before the show”, he “the most magical place on earth, they were
explains, “and Bob’s manager, Mitch, runs
up to me and says, ‘Bob wants you to play
the North Pole.” Their vacations
rarely got more ambitious than an created with
tonight.’ He took me backstage and pointed Anheuser-Busch factory tour, and
Mad Libs.

92
JULY 2017
of Airbnb Experiences — created by a guy in San Francisco. For R1200, Amanda in Los to “Let’s have a masked orgy”. I asked the
who’s still pissed off that his parents never Angeles will drive around the city with you Airbnb reps if they would accept Experience
took him to Santa’s Village and founded on and eat tacos. You pay for your own tacos, proposals that were sexual in nature — maybe
the same creative philosophy that helped but she’ll show you where she likes to eat not so far as soliciting prostitution but at least
George Lucas come up with Star Wars. tacos, and then the two of you can eat tacos involving nudity and adult behaviour — and
Airbnb currently offers about 800 together. they directed us to the “quality standards”
Experiences in 20 international cities, with Courtney Nichols, a self-described web page for prospective Experience hosts.
plans to expand to more than 50 by the end “purveyor of kitsch”, sells an Experience It doesn’t mention sexual content. The
of this year. An Airbnb spokesperson says that’s essentially drinking with her and her company’s main concern is that hosts craft
that roughly 34 000 people have started the friends for an evening. On her Airbnb ad she a compelling three-act fantasy. “Consider
process of creating an Experience. promises to take you to “bizarro landmarks” the beginning, middle and end”, the Airbnb
Many of the existing excursions cover and hang out with her “martini-guzzling… site advises. “How will you greet guests
well-trodden territory, like drinking and outlandish entourage” at “invite-only dance when they arrive? What is the main activity
eating. But since the program’s launch, the marathons”. Nichols tells us that her R4k they’ll do with you? How will you draw the
Experiences have gotten uniquely weird. You Experience is about “meeting my social experience to a close?”
can pay to ride around London on a penny circle. I surround myself with a group of Kerri Aultman, a fetish model in
farthing bicycle, or do yoga with a Barcelona bohemian eccentrics. A lot of drag queens Miami, hopes to be one of the first to take
model, or make plastic food in Tokyo, or visit are in my social circle. A lot of artists. A lot the Experiences in a bold new direction.
Nelson Mandela’s prison with his former of people who are just quirky”. Customer She’s currently overhauling a loft space for
prison guard (included: “a meal in prison”). reviews tell a different story. Airbnb users maximum kink possibilities. There will be a
For R8k (excl travel) you can spend the night who tried the Nichols Experience have been stripper pole and a mirror ball and a “costume
with an actual wolf pack, which includes a less than satisfied, with one complaining on room” full of wigs, slutty costumes and fetish
long hike into the mountains of Los Angeles, the website that “she took us to her friends’ gear for experienced and newbie clients
sleeping under the stars next to creatures that apartment, where we sat around for another alike. Her Experience, she says, is designed
could ostensibly eat you, and s’mores. Some hour waiting for them to get booze”. Another to be only for women who want to spend a
of the Experiences sound like they were claims they “expected to go out to a few LA day and a night exploring their kinky sides.
created with Mad Libs. Come feed homeless bars and dance, instead we spent most of the “I live in a fantasy world all the time”,
people in Capetown... with a local DJ. night at her home and a friend’s apartment”, she says of her day job. “I want to create
Learn how to make your own lamp… while and they “left the experience feeling an Experience where people can try that
drinking margaritas. Take a walking tour of confused”. for themselves. They can put on some wigs
historic London sites… while learning how It’s possible some of the Experience and fishnets, find a new sexual identity, see
to play the ukulele. hosts have loneliness issues of their own. what it feels like. We’ll go out on the town
“They’re creating an industry that For R320, a young couple will take you in costumes and then come back and have a
doesn’t exist”, says Brad Stone, author of up to the Hollywood sign and explain their slumber party.”
The Upstarts: How Uber, Airbnb and the complicated reasons for moving to LA. So basically what Chesky and Joseph
Killer Companies of the New Silicon Valley There’s a R1 100 tour of the Louvre in Paris Campbell had in mind, but this hero’s journey
Are Changing the World, “which is harder that’s advertised as “Meet the funniest guy in ends with pillow fights and a stripper pole.
than it looks. But they’re trying to cater the museum”, which is nothing if not a cry for •••
to a millennial mindset, which is ‘Don’t help. If you’re in Florence and your idea of Now we’re at a fancy restaurant – music
sell me some cookie-cutter thing. Give me a good time is “walking at night in silence”, venue in suburban Detroit. It’s just like the
something I haven’t seen before.’ But that’s there’s an Airbnb host willing to charge you rock clubs on 8 Mile Road but with more
hugely challenging, because you’re trying to R1 000 for the opportunity. (Don’t worry; the white people and a menu that includes duck
sell people things that maybe they don’t even host provides a “small flashlight”, so it won’t cotechino. Olson and friends are performing
know they want.” be weird or anything.) here tonight, and the backstage lounge
The common denominator for all Chris Wren, a software engineer for is packed with a dozen or so musicians,
Experiences, the thing they all offer without Airbnb, is both an Experience host and an friends and pay-to-play “friends”. Actually,
explicitly stating it, is temporary friendship. enthusiastic Experience customer. For him, the backstage is just a small room off the
A Paris Experience, billed as an “Urban the platform has never been about feeling restaurant’s kitchen, with a few couches
soccer challenge”, is a pickup soccer game, less alone. “You can meet new friends, but that smell like sweaty leather, pizza slices
followed by a drink at a bar with your new it’s not really about that”, he says. “I think the balanced on every available surface and a big
friends — all for just R450. You can eat tapas best kind of travel is when you become a new tub of canned beers on ice.
in Barcelona with “foodies” (i.e. people who person, when you take it beyond the shallow A stern-looking woman bursts into the
like food), or go vinyl-record shopping with touristy thing and embrace the fantasy of it.” room from the kitchen. “Guys, please”, she
a guy in Osaka, or “meet cool people” at a How far could that fantasy be taken? It’s says. “There is absolutely no smoking weed
party in Paris, or have a picnic with a stranger not that big a leap from “Let’s play soccer” in here!”

93
JULY 2017
 Nobody says a word. We just pretend Berry Gordy is for sale, for a mere $1.6 with her for the past 30 hours. We have a
we have no idea what she’s talking about. million, and Olson is thinking about buying connection that none of these civilians would
Because obviously, none of us were smoking it. I learned that Hot Tamales is the only strip understand.
weed. What gave her that idea? That thick club in Detroit that doesn’t charge a cover. When it’s over, we stick around as
cloud of blue smoke hanging in the air I learned quite a few things about strippers, Olson and his bandmates pack up their
must’ve come from someone else. in fact. instruments and pound more drinks and
I return to my conversation with Joe Sax, Franklin interrupts a scintillating conversation sneak away for joints in the alley and talk
the lead singer and bassist of Olson’s new about the strippers of Flint to let us know it’s about what an awesome gig it was. There’s
trio, the Scorpio Brothers. Sax is dressed time for sound check. Olson and the band head a lot of exchanging of e-mail addresses and
all in black, with long black hair and black to the stage, and I take this opportunity to talk to phone numbers, and promises that this is the
sunglasses that never leave his face. He could my other Experience cohorts. Why exactly are beginning of something, though nobody says
just as easily be a cat burglar. they here? what that “something” might be.
“I told Kenny, ‘I’ve listened to your stuff, “Some places have dinner packages with “You’re stuck with me, Bob”, Olson says,
and a lot of it is “Oh, I’m fucking high on the stars, where you can meet them before giving Blind Bob a lingering hug. “For the
cocaine, I’m drinking too much, I want or after the show and have a drink, but this long haul. You and me.”
some pussy”, all this shit’”, he tells me. is different”, says Dacia Bridges. “It’s more “I love you, brother”, Bob says, still
“I’ve already done that. If we’re going to do authentic. You don’t feel like a fan getting a wearing his lizard mask. “Don’t let anybody
this, you have to let me sing about shit that meet-and-greet. You’re just hanging out.” know, though.”
matters to me. The working title for one of Nobody in our group is under the illusion •••
our songs is ‘Changing Minds’. The chorus is that this might be their ticket to a music I wake up with ringing ears and a pounding
career. They don’t expect head and clothes that smell like bad decisions.

I wake up with to be discovered or given

a record contract if
I have no idea how I made it back to my hotel
room. My phone is yelling at me, and I see
a pounding head they just impress Olson
enough. “I don’t have
I’ve gotten a text from Olson. “Thank you for
all your support my soul brother”, it reads,
and clothes any musical talent”, followed by several rock horn emojis.

that smell like Bella Bond tells me. “I

just like being around
I stare at my phone for a long time, not
sure what to think. Are we pals now? Can

bad decisions. these guys, feeling like

I belong here.” Most
I legitimately say, “Me and Kid Rock’s
guitarist are soul brothers?” I guess that’s
of them are happy with cool, but I was hoping for something a little
‘Changing the world is changing minds, this their non–rock star lives. Blind Bob has more profound. Chesky had promised a
is the world we leave behind’. Because you created his own weird universe. He tells me hero’s journey. Where was my “moment of
gotta care about what we’re leaving behind, he’s heading down to Myrtle Beach, South transformation?" Had I learned about myself
right?” Carolina tomorrow to be a judge at a beauty through this experience?
As it’s happening, it feels like the greatest contest at a biker bar called Suck Bang Blow. Well, I guess I learned I can smoke
conversation I’ve ever had with another “Do I want to ask how you do that?” I say. rock-star weed and still have coherent
human being. But I know it’s all about Blind Bob chortles sinisterly while petting conversations. I learned that my rock-and-
context. Change a few circumstances, and Buddy, who hasn’t left his side all day. “You roll dreams from childhood haven’t gone
I’d probably want to kill myself. But sitting want my vote, your boobs better be covered away, as just standing behind the velvet rope
backstage before a show, where the beer and in braille.” at the side of the stage during a concert gave
pizza are free, people keep handing me joints The show starts late. At least 300 people me goose bumps. I came to this Experience
and Olson’s manager keeps checking on me squeeze into the small space, and they’re with a sneering adult cynicism, but by the
— You need anything? A plate of mussels, a ready to bob their heads enthusiastically end of the night I was flashing rock horns
bourbon cocktail, a foot rub, a new pair of while drinking craft beers. The Scorpio unironically. I was a kid again, pretending to
pants? — I feel special. Brothers get started around 11, and it’s an be an adult, or at least my kid fantasy of what
I’ve learned a lot about Detroit today. aural blitzkrieg. Olson delivers slushy guitar being an adult would be like.
Maybe not a version that most tourists get, riffs at a volume that makes my genitals It would fade eventually, like all fantasies.
but a more intimate one. I’ve learned there’s a vibrate like a speaker’s woofer. Bridges We sober up and the vacations end and we get
catwalk above the Fox Theatre that nobody is jumps onstage to join them for a cover of back to the real world. But while it lasted, it
allowed to use, but Olson and Dweezil Zappa Hendrix’s “Little Wing”, belting out the tune was beautiful.
snuck up there once. I learned that the club with the soul of a seasoned R&B performer. I crawl out of bed to look for my pants.
where Jack White punched a guy in the face The crowd hollers in approval, and so does They are nowhere to be found. For a split
has a great deal on mid-afternoon shots. I the Olson Experience gang, but we do it more second, I think about texting Franklin. He’ll
learned that the mansion of Motown founder meaningfully because we’ve been partying know what to do. n

94
JUNE 2017
"That's not a branch you're standing on, Eve...!
SHOWROOM / MANUFACTURING