II B.Tech.

PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT (19BT4HS10)

UNIT-II: SELF-ESTEEM & SELF DEVELOPMENT

KNOW AND ACCEPT YOURSELF:

You must be aware of yourself such as who you are; your likes and dislikes, your habits, qualities,
values, strengths and weaknesses. You also have an image of yourself that most likely has many
dimensions, such as:

A) Physical appearance ( attractive, handsome, average):

The first thing you see when you look at someone could be their hair, clothes, nose or figure.
These are all examples of physical characteristics. Your physical characteristics can play a role
in defining how you are treated. While many physical characteristic can’t be changed, you can
improve your physical characteristics to ensure a more positive outlook. Make sure you have
washed and put on clean clothes so that you can show others you are a little bit classier. Even
just a smile can show you are friendly.
B) Athletic ability ( agile, good at sports):
You should evaluate your fitness. You have to develop fitness with sport-focussed workouts
and test your fitness through competitive sports. It is rewarding to be good at a competitive
sport. Unexposed weaknesses can lead to performance even in professional work centres. We
ought to develop the Athletic skill levels as a versatile and user-friendly to fill this role.
C) Sense of humour ( hilarious, good, dry):
Having a good sense of humour reduces stress, helps you cope with pain, creates empathy in
social situations. Life is better when you are laughing. Those who have good sense of humour
not only see the value in making others laugh, but they prioritize laughter themselves.
Moreover they are healthier and happier. They instantly boost their mood. Laugh even can
soothe even tension.
D) Special talents (computer Whiz, singer, writer, actor):
We are all born with talents that set us apart from the crowd, special traits that make us who
we are and shape ourselves the best. Whether your talent is singing, swimming, coming up
with creative ideas or being an excellent speaker. You have to celebrate what makes you
unique. Realizing your talents and having the confidence to share them will help you reach
your full potential and feel more satisfied in life.
E) Morals and ethics( high standards, sense of duty, ethical behaviour):
Ethics and morals relate to right and wrong conduct. While they are sometimes used
interchangeably, they are different. Ethics refer to rules provided by an external source, e.g.
codes of conduct in workplaces or principles in religions. Morals refer to an individual’s own
principles regarding right and wrong.

F) Aptitudes: (natural abilities-Physical or mental):

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 An aptitude is a component of a competence to do a certain kind of work at a certain level;
outstanding aptitude can be considered ‘talent’. An aptitude may be physical or mental.
Aptitude is inborn potential to do certain kinds of work whether developed or undeveloped.
Aptitude is expressed in interest, and is reflected in current performance which is expected to
improve over time with training.

G) Values and beliefs: (stated and implied):

Values are stable long-lasting beliefs about what is important to a person. They become
standards by which people order their lives and make their choices. A belief will develop into
a value when the person’s commitment to it grows and they see it as being important. Beliefs
are basically assumptions that we make about the world and our values stem from those
beliefs. Our values are things that we deem important and can include concepts like “equality,
honesty, education, effort, perseverance, loyalty, faithfulness.

SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-IMAGE:

Belief in your abilities and your worth or value is self-esteem. Self-esteem is also which you
like, accept, and respect yourself. Self-image is made up of variables such as physical appearance,
athletic ability, sense of humour, special talents, moral and ethics, aptitudes and values and beliefs.
When you have high self-esteem, it will help you meet new challenges and you can become all that
you can be. You are always successful and have a rich, full life. Self-esteem is not conceit or self-
absorption. When you have genuine self-esteem, you like, accept, and respect yourself. You can also
recognize your own worth and be aware of the worth of others.

LOW SELF-ESTEEM:

The reaction of the people who have low self-esteem as follows:

• They dislike themselves.

• They blame others for their own weaknesses or faults.
• They become easily frustrated or defensive.
• They avoid situations that make them uncomfortable.
• They feel week and incompetent.
• They feel that others don’t value them
• They express few emotions.
• They are influence easily by others.
• Low self-esteem often lead them to loneliness, anxiety, resentment, irritability, and little life
satisfaction.

TIPS TO BUILD SELF-ESTEEM:

1. Engage in positive self-talk:

Give yourself recognition, praise, and positive self-talk each day. Tell yourself “well done”
when you do well. Remind yourself about the times when you excelled, learned a new skill, or
treated another person well.

2. Remember what you like about yourself:

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 Know your strengths. Make a list of your good qualities and place it where you will see it each
day. Some starter thoughts – you are patient, you are caring, you enjoy learning new things.
You like to help others.
3. Talk with others about your good qualities:
A trusted friend, relative, or counsellor often sees qualities in you that you take for granted or
overlook.
4. Focus on your achievements:
Your achievements and successes regardless of how large or small are important to your self-
image.
5. Plan for your future:
Look forward rather than dwelling on the past. Make a list of things you want to do or want
to change. Visualize your dreams- what you hope to accomplish in the future. Know your
weakness and set goals to overcome your weaknesses.

Self-esteem boosters

• I have the power to change myself.

• I am free to choose to live as I wish and to give priority to my needs, wants, and desires.
• I deserve happiness and success.
• I can make my own choices and decisions.
• I am worthy of being loved.
• I can forgive myself for mistakes.
• I will not give up on myself.
• I am satisfied if I have done my best.

Don’t of improving Self-Esteem:

1. Don’t try to imitate someone else:

Attempting to imitate or be like someone else may lead to a further lack of self-worth and
self-confidence. You are unique individual, and you cannot be someone else. Strive to improve
yourself rather than comparing yourself with others.
2. Don’t think negatively about yourself:
Don’t criticize yourself for not being as successful, smart, popular, or attractive as someone
else. Remember, you have qualities that others do not possess. If you feel others have much
more of what you desire, you may become obsessed with envy which is another’s advantages,
success, processions and so on. You may pick up valuable clues to an appropriate level self-
esteem by observing family members, teachers, and friends you admire.
3. Don’t neglect yourself:
You are important. Safeguard your health and be conscientious about your grooming and
appearance. Take advantage of educational opportunities. Treat yourself to a walk in the part,
a trip in a museum, a couple of hours with a good book, or another activity that you enjoy.
These activities are self-renewing and fulfilling. Take time to focus on your wants, needs, and
desires. This is not selfishness as long as what you want doesn’t injure or interfere with how
others live.
4. Don’t let setbacks get the best of you:

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 Lack of success simply means you are not successful yet. Don’t think of a setback as failure.
Instead, think of the inevitable setbacks you will face as learning experiences or signals to
change direction.

REWARDS OF GOOD SELF-ESTEEM:

Positive self-esteem results from finding the positives in your life- academic success, self-
control, self-acceptance, and optimism about the future. People with good self-esteem are likely to
be working deliberately to strengthen and improve themselves. They understand that valuing their
positive qualities is not about competing with others. They understand themselves and pursue what
is best for them. Everyone has special gifts and unique qualities that make that person exceptional.
Think about the qualities that make you unique and then strive to improve those good qualities. Self-
esteem enables you to project self-confidence.

People who have high self-esteem have chances to

• Take on responsibility (have a “can-do” attitude)

• Take pride in their accomplishments.
• Approach challenges positively and with enthusiasm.
• Not afraid to show a broad range of emotions.
• Feel qualified to influence others.
• Tolerate frustration, challenges, and setbacks in life.

FACE AND ACCEPT REALITY:

People often avoid facing and accepting reality in order to maintain a false, unrealistic self-
image. They may hide from reality. They refuse to accept actions or events as being real. People should
not accept as themselves. All the actions that you do are inconsistent with your self-image. As a result,
a kind of tension (anxiety, distress, or conflict) grows inside you. In your disappointment, you may feel
deep resentment. If the conflict is extremely offensive to your self-esteem, you may blame yourself
for allowing it to happen. The more you use this kind of pretence, the greater will be the stress you
will have to endure.

You must learn to recognize and accept your experiences as real. Then your self-image will
not be in conflict with your life experiences. You will know and like your inner self. Your tension and
conflict with reality will disappear. At the same time, the barriers to building your self-esteem will also
disappear.

Masks Off:

Every one occasionally puts up a false front to mask (to cover or hide) his or her true feelings.
Or they may put on an act. They play a role to create a false impression. The purpose may be to avoid
conflict or even to work or demanding situation. Sometimes wearing a mask is the right thing to do,
considering the circumstances. For example, if a person has a headache but is required to serve
customers,, wearing a smile (masking the physical discomfort) is better than complaining. But always
wearing a mask, playing a role can be a tiresome burden. You are not likely to relax and feel good

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about yourself if you constantly to keep up false pretences especially when you present yourself to
the world as you are better than you are.

People in your life who try unsuccessfully to appear ambitious, intelligent, popular, open-
minded, courageous, or well informed about something when they are not. Although masks may be
effective in fooling some people, in the long run they are ineffective. Eventually, people see behind
the mask, no matter how carefully the mask is kept up. As you grow self-understanding and self-
esteem, you will feel better about revealing your true personality to others. You will feel less need to
cover up- to present a false image of yourself. You will be willing to take off some of the masks you
may have been using to hide your real self or create false impressions.

Failure can pave the way to success:

“Failure” is a big, scary word for most people. You are taught that failure is something that should be
avoided at all costs. The truth however, is that failure is inevitable, and actually failure leads to success.
The best people in their respective fields fail in all the time. In an Olympic competition where there
are ten best athletes in the world, there are also nine failures every time they complete. Bill Gates
became the richest man in the world, but his first attempt at starting a company was a huge flop.
Every successful person has these sorts of failure stories to tell. They have all learnt to take their
failures and use them to achieve success. Here are a few ways how to use failures as stepping stones
for success.

1. Learn from your mistakes:

A mistake is a rare and precious opportunity to learn something. By making a mistake you
pave the way for a more successful future. As long as you don’t repeat your mistakes, you
should never be afraid of making them.
2. Don’t hide your failure:
We all have a tendency to remember our victories but to forget our losses. It is very useful
however to also keep track of the things you have failed at. Accept failures and value them as
life experiences. Keeping physical reminders of failures will also remind you not to repeat
them.
3. Let failure teach you about yourself:
Knowing yourself is one of the most important factors in achieving success. You must have
enough courage to embrace whatever life throws at you. If you believe in your own character
and strength, you will maximise your chances of being successful one day.
4. Let failure open doors for you:
It may seem illogical, but a failure is by definition an unplanned out come. It takes you down
a road that you would otherwise have avoided; it takes you to a place you would otherwise
never have gone. Pay attention to the opportunities that your failures bring across your path.
There will be many; you have to be open to them.
5. Failure is not the opposite of success:
Failures are a part of the process of success. The opposite of success is apathy. Those who
have failed the most are also those that succeed most often. They try more than the rest of
others. You should not stop trying. Failure is not only an option, it is a recommendation.

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BE SENSITIVE TO FEED BACK:

Feedback is information about yourself from another perspective that you can use to evaluate
how you are doing. Always be open, alert, and sensitive to both positive and negative feedback. After
evaluating the feedback, you may need to make changes within yourself. Some people may ignore
feedback that comes from negative experiences. However, these experiences provide valuable
information you can use to improve. You need to interpret and use feedback wisely. The feedback
may not always be what you want to hear... but listen, reflect on what you hear, and adjust. You should
concentrate your energy on those things that are within your power to change. You should not take
negative feedback personally. You should not overreact if you are challenged; the feedback is about
the situation, not you as a person. Learn from the feedback and make necessary changes.

ALERT FOR PRAISE AND CRITICISM:

Anyone in a position to observe your behaviour can give your feedback. You have to welcome these
opportunities to learn about how others perceive you. Try not to be hurt, offended, or resentful. Even
when criticism is hurtful, you can learn from it. Don’t allow your anger to detract from the value of the
feedback.

Close friends and associates are a good source of feedback. Counsellors, teachers, and employment
supervisors or co-workers can also provide you with valuable information about your behaviour. But
more importantly, you may feel a sense of trust and safety in talking with them. In an environment of
trust, you can feel safe to reveal your real self. Be willing to share openly and honestly. Without that
openness on your part, the person may not be willing to be open and candid about negative feedback.

DEVELOP A SELF-IMPROVEMENT PLAN:

If you are to take charge of yourself and become successful in your life and work, you must start with
a clear, realistic image of yourself. You must also begin with a clear, realistic image of where you are
now and where you want to be in future. Once you have a good idea of what needs to be
accomplished, you are ready to begin making plans- plans for the self-improvement that is needed as
you develop your success identity. A self-improvement plan is not static; rather, it is a life-long process
that changes with your growth and experiences. A self-improvement plan involves a realistic vision of
your future self, long-term goals, and an action plan to guide you in the self-improvement process.

Visualize your future

Self-improvement begins with visualizing your future self, identifying specific and measurable goals,
and devising action plans to meet those goals. To visualize your potential, use a technique called
imaging. Athletes have imagined (or visualized) themselves excelling in sporting events, and
salespeople have imagined themselves achieving high sales. The process of growing to reach your
greatest potential is called self-actualization. Imagine the personal qualities and characteristics you
will need to develop to achieve this image of success. When you complete the imaging process, write
down your visualizations and review them often. Make a commitment to yourself to achieve your lofty
goals and dreams. Finally, incorporate the desired qualities into yourself improvement plan.

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Self-actualization is a lifelong process. Expect to reassess and redefine yourself as you move ahead in
life. As you gain self-confidence and your identity evolves, you grow personally and professionally into
a successful individual.

Set Goals:

All successful people have goals. They want to achieve goals that are stated clearly within a specified
time period. An action plan should be organized to achieve specific goals. The overall process for
achieving goals is called goal-setting. By knowing what you want to achieve, you can direct your energy
toward your goals. When you set goals, consider the broad aspects that are important in your life.

• Career
• Educational and training.
• Finances.
• Relationships (family, friends and co-workers)
• Health
• Hobbies and interests.

When you set goals, state them clearly, put them in writing and include the date you expect to
complete them. Don’t consider vague goals. Employers want to hire people who care about their
future and want to grow in their careers. SMART goals are well-focused, achievable goals.

SMART goals are:

Specific (what exactly do you want to accomplish)

Measurable (How will you assess your progress)

Attainable (Is your goal within your reach)

Relevant (Is your goal important to your plan for life?)

Timely (What is your deadline for completing this goal?)

Development Action Plans:

Develop an action plan as a strategy for reaching your goals. For each goal write down the steps and
timeframe that will bring you closer to achieving your long-term goals. Putting your goals and action
plans in writing is essential if you are to stay focussed on what you want to accomplish. Here is one
many ways to create an action plan.

1. Determine the goal.

2. Chart the route.
3. Define every step it will take to attain the goal and keep on track.
4. Modify the personal action plan as necessary.
5. Review the action plan.

BEHAVIOR OF MODIFICATION:

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If your self-improvement plan requires a change in behaviour on your part, you may find it helpful to
use behaviour modification. Behaviour modification refers to the use of techniques to improve or
change behaviour. It rewards for making good decisions and discourages unwanted behaviour. A
reward or benefit can be a strong motivational tool to change behaviour. The reward of benefit used
is referred to as reinforcement. Rewards are generally better motivators than punishments. Rewards
for behaviour modification should be realistic. Don’t promise yourself an expensive digital camera if
you can only afford a moderately priced one. Personal development is a step-by-step process, so plan
small rewards at each step along the way.

With a potential rewards list at hand, review your self-improvement plan. Match specific activities
with appropriate rewards. For example, you may decide to use more effective study skills, start tasks
sooner, control your temper, or get more rest. You may find it helpful to write a contract with yourself
in which you promise that you are going to change in some way. Include the date the contract takes
effect, what you need to do, a realistic date to fulfil the contract, and the reward you will receive.
Lastly, sign your name to show your commitment to the change in behaviour.

LEARN FROM A MENTOR:

When you begin a new job, there is a lot to learn such as procedures, policies, rule (written and
unwritten). Most co-workers are eager to welcome a new employee and help them learn their job.
Many companies recognize the benefits of establishing formal mentoring programs. Typically
someone is assigned to help new employees with on-the-job orientation and training. The person who
helps an individual develop on the job is called a mentor. A mentor may offer advice, answer
questions, help a new employee understand the culture of the business, share expertise and
experiences and serve as a role model.

Mentoring relationships require open communication and a commitment from both parties. A mentor
is someone who takes a personal interest in helping you reach your potential at work and in life. Take
advantages of this opportunity to ask questions and learn from the more experienced person. Be open
minded and respectfully consider the mentor’s advice. The employee and the mentor learn from each
other, receive positive energy from the relationship, and grow professionally.

SEEK COUNSELLING:

A counsellor or therapist can help with the process of understanding and appreciating where you are
in your personal and career development. Talking with a professional counsellor can help you
appreciate the many positive aspects of your personality, your education, your employment
experiences, and your natural abilities. Large companies and government agencies may have a formal
Employee Assistance Program (EAP) to help employees deal with personal problems that might
adversely affect their job performance, health or well-being. Information you share with an EAP
counsellor is strictly confidential so you should feel comfortable talking openly about your questions,
concerns, and issues. Information about EAP programs can be found in the human resources office of
most companies or government agencies. EAP services generally include assessment, short-term
counselling, and referral services for employees and their household members.

TRY OUT A WORK SITUATION:

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 You can evaluate your potential for success in an occupation through an actual, or “try-out”. A try-out
experience provides an actual on-the job opportunity for a limited period of time. For the musician,
athlete, chef, taxi driver, and sales associates, experience provides clear and obvious signs of success
and failure. An opportunity to work briefly would let you know if you enjoy working with people.
Successful performance will reinforce your career choice.

An internship is another way to test your interests and abilities and build your self-confidence before
you commit to a career program. An internship program coordinates classroom and laboratory
training with on-the job training in the work environment. For many college students, internships
increase job opportunities after graduation because of the network of relationships developed with
people outside school and home.

UNIT-1 SELF-ESTEEM & SELF-DEVELOPMENT

1 “Becoming a better driver” as a goal or objective. Explain.

2 “Failure can pave the way to success.” Justify.

3 What problems can you cause for yourselves by stating your goals in vague, unrealistic terms?

4 How do you evaluate your positive personal qualities?

5 “Being confident about one’s abilities is a sign of high self-esteem” Elaborate.

6 Discuss the strategies to improve yourself.

7 List four examples of try-out experiences that might be of interest to you.

8 Can self-esteem be developed? If so state the strategies.

9 “Moral compass plays a vital role in making difficult decisions”. Discuss.

10 “One’s failures are the great lessons that turn one’s life”. Substantiate.

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