m

FOREWORD
All praises are for Allah Taala, the Executioner of all affairs. Salaat and Salaam upon the best of all creation, Sayyidina Muhammad (1), eternally. This book is a transcription of some essential and crucial advice which was given one evening, after the Isha Salaah, in an informal talk by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel ( . ) It was Hazrat Maulanas habit almost on a daily basis, after Fajr and after Isha - to have informal get-togethers with the mureeds and whosoever wished to take benefit. Hazrat Maulana used such opportunities to convey priceless gems of nasiha (advice) to them. The frequency of those informal talks clearly depicted the love, compassion and concern Hazrat Maulana had for those who are Mureedeen and Saalikeen (Seekers of Allah Taala). There was a constant stream of guidelines, direction, caution, warning and encouragement from Hazrat Maulana
( .)

Hazrat Maulanas talks always touched upon the most pertinent issues as well as relatable scenarios. The beautiful advice and guidance were such that one could only deduce that Allah Taala was guiding and inspiring heart, mind and speech. This particular informal meeting contained invaluable advice; intensely exhorting us to reflect deeply over our priorities, as well as re-arrange and restructure them so that we establish harmony and a spiritual well -being within the family unit.

Excerpts, from other programmes by Hazrat Maulana ( , ) which complement this subject matter have been included in this compilation. Hope is in the Grace and Mercy of Allah Taala, for it is Only He who can create the means for these precious gems to reach and benefit the Ummah at large. The title, Removing the safety net was selected, because our beautiful religion and Shariah offers us a safety net with its various injunctions, teachings and prohibitions. Unfortunately, we have breached and disregarded many of those laws similar to the person who removes the safety net which he covers his swimming pool with, as a safety measure for his little children and for those who are in experienced in swimming; or on a larger scale : Like a people who remove the safety nets found near the shoreline of their beaches, as a protection against shark attacks. The title alludes to the fact that having, ourselves, removed the teachings of Deen from our lives, we find ourselves in deep waters, or having to face vicious shark attacks from all quarters nafs, shaytaan and various other evil elements prevalent in society. May Allah Taala make this book solely for His Pleasure, and grant acceptance. May He make it a Sadaqah-e-Jaariyah for my Shaykh, myself, and all those who kindly assisted. May Allah Taala grant us all a deep understanding of the knowledge acquired, and practice on the commandments of Allah Taala and the beautiful teachings of Rasulullah ( 1 ) with sincerity and Divine Acceptance.
a thorn from a rose garden
[Zul Hijjah 1432/ November 2011]

O P EOPLE OF I MAAN ! S AVE YOURSELVES AND YOUR FAMILIES FROM A FIRE WHOSE FUEL IS MEN AND STONES
[S URAH A T -T AHREEM 66 : 6]

Some of the e-mails that we receive are such that you do not know whether to believe what you are reading the content is sometimes so shocking, so shocking. But is there anything shocking anymore? However, the intelligent ones take lessons from the mistakes of others, the consequences they face, and the problems they are contending with; and the intelligent ones avoid making those same mistakes.

One mistake which many people incline towards is trusting just anyone. Their trust is sometimes plain foolishness. Therefore we say: Dont trust just anybody and everybody today. Those pious, righteous ones who can be trusted are few and scarce. People trust others especially friends. They trust their friends so much, that they allow them free access into their homes; allow them to become comfortable with wife and children In one letter and this is just one letter from amongst so many we receive, with similar content. No name is being mentioned. The person wrote, saying that he allowed his friend to come into his home. Visits were even common when the husband was not at home. Friend and wife would chat away, and like that, befriended each other. They travelled together, socialized, went for coffees and teas, went here and there and what happened was what should have been expected. The husband is left crying left devastated, saying: My best friend took my wife away. Who is to be blamed for this ?

This is what happens when husbands/fathers do not have any sense of honour when it comes to their wives and daughters. They allow them free reign to do as they like, go anywhere they wish, entertain whomsoever they want. In fact, many husbands want to flaunt their pretty wives before their friends. They want their wives to dress in a provocative manner and they want to show those wives off like trophies. Then it is no surprise when that wife disappears, or loses interest in her husband, or gets involved with the friend/s. Some wives want to introduce their handsome, rich husbands to their pretty, young friends. Then it is no surprise that that friend pursues him or vice versa. This is very common as well. This is what happens when people want to act very broadminded and want to be liberal. Many a time, the contention is : Be broadminded. I also say : Be broadminded But you dont have to open the mind so broadly that your brains fall off. Allah Taala does not cast a glance of mercy upon the one who has no concern and no sense of honour when it comes to the immoral actions and behaviour of his

wife and family women. The person is unconcerned with whose company they keep, what actions they engage in, or even what mischief they may be up to.

The same stance is applicable to our young daughters: Dont trust just anyone. In these days of mischief, and in the light of the cases we are dealing with, even if the person has got a young daughter or daughters 9 to 12 years of age or even much younger there should be caution. But we find so many quite laidback and carefree when it comes to their daughters. They send their daughters alone to the school, Madrasah, college, shopping centres, beaches, fairs, concerts, holidays here and there for drives or walks with male cousins, friends, neighbours or other strangers There was one incident where a girl insisted that she wants to marry the neighbours son, who was not Muslim. The girls father was enraged, bashed his daughter, and threatened the boy if he pursued his daughter; whereas it was with the fathers blessings that his daughter travelled to university with the boy, alone.

The father said himself that he made sure that she sat in the backseat of the car... Apparently the neighbours son owned a car and being big-hearted gave her a lift daily. So the father was saving on expenses. Where is intelligence? The parents refused the proposal. The girl eloped. Of course, there is a manner in dealing with such situations. Coming down upon the child, like a ton of bricks, will not solve the problem. Most of the time, the parents are to be blamed, but they only look at the actions of the child, or the disgrace and shame that the child has suddenly brought to the family. One father found out that his teenage daughter was on drugs. He was furious and threw her out of the house. She had nowhere to go. What did she do? She called a non-Muslim friend, explained what had transpired and that she had no place to go to. He invited her to come and stay with him. Her body was later found. She was strangled to death. The man had drugged her, raped her and strangled her. He was arrested and charged. Was this solving the problem? Is this how a Muslim father behaves?

Parents send their daughters alone with drivers, with cousins and with friends. Let one cousin, uncle or some brother-in-law be going on some outing, and the father or mother says, Take her also. Thereafter they sit and cry, I trusted him. I trusted him. There are so many incidents that come to mind. One young girl of about 11 years was raped by the fathers best friend a Muslim. He too was given free access into the home, and he was like an uncle to the young girl. But then Shaytaan comes in different guises. He raped her. She fell pregnant. Everything came out in the open. The parents were shocked and devastated. The man was arrested and imprisoned. Sometimes these things need to be spelt out so that it hits home. People need to understand that trust passed away a long time ago. Very, very few can be trusted today. Rasulullah ( 1 ) had predicted that a time will come when the people will get up in the morning and will go on with their buying and selling, but not one will discharge his trust, so much so that it will be said:

There is only one trustworthy person in such and such a tribe. 1 If a person is not loyal and faithful to Allah Taala and His Rasul ( 1 ), then almost certainly, he will not be loyal and true to you or your family.

Closer to home, we have the brothers-in-law, who are taken as family members. As a result its free for all. It is as if a woman marries all her brothers-in-law. There is just no shame, no modesty, no purdah 2. Then what are we ending up with ? As a poet says :

The brother-in-law is perhaps the most dangerous individual to the security and safety of a marriage. This is why Rasulullah ( 1 ) said: The brother-in-law is death. 3 Because the brother-in-law has the freedom to come in and out of the house, and he is trusted.
1 2 3

Sahih Bukhari Purdah : the veil Sahih Bukhari

We spend so much of money on so many different luxuries. Should we not spend some of that money towards such facilities whereby the eating between males and females is separate; their sitting, joking and laughing are all separate; the males amongst themselves and the ladies amongst themselves? The doors of mischief can remain shut and locked, and Insha-Allah 4, no threats will hover over our marriages. Does it state in any kitaab (book) that for family unity, men and women, young boys and girls must sit together and have meals, or intermingle? In fact, if some girl, who is trying to follow Islamic teachings, has to object, then she is ridiculed and treated as an outcast. Many sisters write or e-mail asking as to how to deal with these situations. I give the reply that brothers-inlaw and first cousins are definitely the most dangerous for ones Imaan. However, in a house where they walk in and out and it becomes difficult to cover the face, one should lower the gaze, draw the scarf as low as possible, and avoid confrontational situations as much as possible. Talk only what is necessary, without creating any desire in the heart to continue talking or engaging in jokes and laughter.

Insha-Allah : With the Will of Allah

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One person complained to Hazrat Maulana Abrarul Haq

Maulana Abrarul Haq ( ) asked: Does your brother welcome you and entertain you? He said : Yes. Maulana Abrarul Haq asked : Do you then go there to meet your brother or your sister-in-law? This is how the Mashaa`ik 6 catch the nafs out. One person wrote to Hazrat Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi ( ) saying that his sister-in-law passed away. And he then began to pay tribute to her, praising her and expressing his admiration. She was like this and she was like that, and he also said that he really missed her. Hazrat said: It seems like you had a different kind of relationship with that sister-in-law. And due to that,
5 6

Nafs : Ego Mashaa`ik : (plural of Shaykh) Spiritual mentors and guides

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you are writing a great deal of tareef (praises) of your sister-in-law. It indicates that your nafs was involved. The person admitted, he acknowledged his weakness and Haraam feelings for his sister-in-law. These Mashaa`ik have the sight, they have the insight and they have the vision, which we do not have.

If it is Haji Bhais and Haji Bhens then that becomes an even more respectable relationship. Many women even remove their hijaab 8 and niqaab 9 whilst amidst such men during Haj 10. The Haj groups today become one big, big happy family and many of the women see no need for any kind of purdah, no need for any kind of hijab or any kind of restriction, and they unlock and open all the doors to fitnah 11. Then we have disaster. In the hotels there in the Haramayn Sharifayn 12, many men go in and out of the rooms of their friends or family
Haji Bhai and Bhen : Fellow pilgrims (literally, brothers and sisters) Hijaab : Covering the entire body as per the Shar`i requirement 9 Niqaab : Face veil 10 The rule of uncovering the face in Ihraam should be discussed with a reliable Aalim or Mufti 11 Fitnah : mischief / evil / trial 12 Haramayn Sharifayn: Holy Mosques of Makkah Sharief and Madina Sharief.
7 8

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members. Sometimes there is no male person present It is just the wife or daughter alone in the room. They sit with these ladies or their Haji bhens and then we are left with these issues. People are thereafter asking questions : Whose child is it ? I have a doubt Who is to be blamed for all of this ? One person mentioned that in the evenings, after Isha, the Haji Bhens and Bhais would get together they would take their chairs from their rooms, sit together, in the corridor of that floor, and there would be men and women chatting away and merry-making, with even requests from the men for the ladies to sing nazms 13 in Madina Sharief. Yet these were ghayr-mahram (strange) men and this is type of behaviour is totally unacceptable and impermissible.

I cannot forget a phone-call I received some years back. The person requested for an interpretation of a dream. When he related the dream, I asked him : Are you sure you want to hear the interpretation?

13

Nazms : Urdu poems

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He replied in the affirmative. I responded that the dream clearly indicated that he committed zina (adultery) in Madina Sharief. He then acknowledged that he did, indeed, commit zina. He would visit the room of his cousin, whilst everyone in the family was gone to the Haram Sharief, and one thing led to another 14 To Allah is our complaint. Whilst the parents are at the Raudha Mubarak 15 conveying Salaam, or whilst they are in Tawaaf 16 or at the Multazam 17, or in the Hateem 18, crying in Taubah19 and dua, some of the children are engaging in major, major sins. To add insult to injury, these crimes are perpetrated in the sacred lands. And in Makkah Mukarramah, the magnitude of sins is multiplied 100 000 times. It has even been brought to our attention that many young daughters, left to their own devices frequenting the shopping centres, are in fact, also flirting and striking up relationships with some of those
14
15 16

Raudha Mubarak: Refers to the blessed grave of Nabi (1) Tawaaf : circumambulation; walking around the Kab`ah Sharief 7 times. 17 Multazam : Area between the elevated door and the Hajre-Aswad (Black stone); where duas are accepted. 18 Hateem : Semi circle enclosure, which is part of the Kabah Sharief. 19 Taubah : Repentance

: To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.

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men in the shops and bazaars, and even in the hotels. Some even have the insolence to make arrangements with their boyfriends - that they too make Umrah 20 and Ziyarah 21 at the same time, so that they can meet up there. These are not fairy tales. They are eye-openers for those who have intelligence. The problem lies in that we have not brought up our children with etiquette and respect for Deen, nor have we inculcated hayaa (modesty), khauf-e-Khuda (Fear of Allah), Azmat (Greatness) of the Haramayn Sharifayn, and other such qualities which should have been outstanding in their lives, as Muslim youth.

Young girls are allowed to go with girls to the cinemas, shopping centres, beaches, parties, and elsewhere. But where are they going? For many, it is just a cover to other plans. Sometimes the reason is that it is just the girls meeting at some girls house and they are having a girls night or a sleep-over or a braai, or a party there.

20 21

Umrah : The small pilgrimage Ziyarah : Visit (to the Prophet (Sallallaahu alayhi wa-Sallam))

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And what transpires late at night? Where did they go at night? A neighbour of one such house where some girls stayed over, said that cars were coming and boys were picking up some of the girls, one by one, and they drove off into the darkness of night. Come Fajr time, and those cars returned, the boys dropping off each girl. And when the parents came to fetch them the next morning at 9 o clock, the girls were all waiting, ready to be taken home. But the neighbour was watching, and out of concern, tried informing the parents but with the lies many children speak, the parents refused to believe. Instead, they blamed the neighbour of mischief. The Hadith makes mention: Your love for something blinds and deafens. 22 Parents should not allow their love for their children to make them deaf, dumb and blind. We do not want to listen to the truth, or see the truth, or acknowledge the truth Why? Because these are our beloved children. We believe they can do no wrong. Sincere counsel is thus not appreciated.

22

Abu Dawud / Ahmad

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Now, when well-wishers and concerned Muslims contact us and inform us, can we say that all of these incidents are fairy tales? There have been incidents of Muslim girls who frequented the clubs and were then drugged and raped, even gang-raped. Many of these daughters are sneaking out of the house in the late hours of the night and returning in the early hours of the morning. The parents are oblivious until they are contacted by police or by others, of an accident, rape, arrest, or their daughter being hospitalized due to drugs or drink How many teenagers and even adults have 2 or 3 sim cards and sometimes they even have 2 or 3 cell phones, to keep their Haraam activities secret. Is anything secret when Allah Taala is Watching, Hearing and Aware of all and everything? If you hide and commit sins, Someone is watching from above If you hide and commit sins, Someone is watching from above If you hide and commit sins, Someone is watching from above (Allah Taala).

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There is no concealment and no escape from the Sight of

Allah Taala. Allah Taala is ( The All-Seeing),

( The All-Hearing), ( The All-Knowing), ( The One who is Aware).

A ND H E IS WITH YOU WHERESOEVER YOU MAY BE . A ND A LLAH SEES WELL ALL THAT YOU DO .
[S URAH H ADEED 57 : 4 ]

It is based on all these reasons that when we had a stayin or get-together for students which would be for tarbiyyah 23 purposes, we would lay down many rules, regulations and conditions. First of all, they had to be of a responsible age-group, a limit to the numbers, and there had to be a confirmation of which teachers would stay with them. A signed consent form, contact details of parents, who would be bringing the daughter and what time they would be bringing her. Cell phones were to be handed in. They
Tarbiyyah : nurturing, guiding

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were not allowed to leave the Madrasah for that entire duration of stay. It was like a big headache to monitor so much. It was only after all of that, that we would give the go ahead and allow for a stay-in.

One great Allah Wala 24 had explained that a young, unbearded boy 8 / 10 / 12 years of age, is as vulnerable to males as a young girl is vulnerable to males. When someone sends his young, handsome son away alone with some friend or family member, saying : Take him for a holiday. Take him where you are going Johannesburg, Cape Town here, there, India, Pakistan take him with you..., we have the situation where just the two of them will be traveling alone. This Allah Wala said that this is equivalent to sending your young daughter away with some male. The situation is equally fraught with danger. That young boy is as defenceless and helpless as a young girl is. Just the other day, an uncle molested his nephew. The nephew who is doing Hifz 25 reported this himself.
24 25

Allah Wala : Pious servant of Allah Taala Hifz : Memorization of the Qur`aan Sharief

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Once, when my Shaykh, Hazrat Maulana Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb ( Daamat Barakaatuhum ) was here in South Africa, he asked one person : Where is your son? The person replied : He is gone with someone to and he mentioned some distant place. Hazrat got very, very upset and he said : How can you just send a young son away like that? Of course, sometimes there is a need to get a lift, to be dropped off somewhere near, taken to the masjid at times, etc. Whilst there are allowances for this, there still has to be caution exercised. However, when there is no supervision, then do we know where the person is gone? What he is doing ? There was a reason why Nabi (1 ) cautioned us to beware of beardless youth, giving the instruction: Do not stare at beardless youth. 26 How many letters I receive How many phone-calls of what what is happening when children are allowed to be with just anyone.

26

At-Tasharruf on the authority of Musnad Imam Ahmad (RA)

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There are certain things we cannot even mention and discuss because it is so utterly shocking and shameless. Our major weakness is that we want to make life easy for ourselves. We are selfish. We make money our priority, at the expense of family life, and even family safety. After that, we sit and cry.

With regards to our children : Be there. Supervise. Let there be the presence of the father, mother or other responsible family members, when that child is playing. Allowing them seclusion is generally inviting trouble. When they quietly go into some room, close the door, even lock the door then what are they doing? What are they watching? Age is no factor today. One sister sent an e-mail, stating that her young child has been complaining that the Dada (paternal grandfather) was doing certain things with him, and from what the child described, there was clear indication of child abuse. The mother wrote, stating, that she did not know whether to believe the child, but she said there was no reason for him to lie about the matter since he was not exposed to such things.

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Now if the son is complaining that he is being molested, then it must be taken very seriously whether proven or not. It is sometimes difficult to catch the person in action. But if it is a lie, a child can be caught out with a few questions. Even grandparents or close family members cannot be trusted today with their constant viewing and exposure to immoral, obscene pictures on the television screens or in magazines and newspapers. Dont we read of 60 year olds and 70 year olds guilty of rape and incest? One young girl complained that her grandfather hugged her and touched her in a way which was evil and which frightened her. She does not want to see him anymore. Now this is a Muslim grandfather Of course, this does not imply that a person must become suspicious of all and sundry. This is advice tendered to exercise caution and not to trust blindly. Shariah 27 explicitly forbids traveling with a mahram 28 or being alone with him whether a father, brother, uncle, nephew or anyone else if the person is of loose morals, shady character, and a threat to the chastity and
Shariah : Islamic Law Mahram : One whom the woman cannot marry at any time e.g. father, brother, etc.
27 28

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modesty of that daughter, sister, grand-daughter, niece, mother, aunt, etc. Although he is a mahram, he is now the danger and threat. Traveling alone with him, or being alone in the home with him should be avoided. This is sometimes difficult, so at such times, the child should not fear reporting to some senior member. Our duty does not involve only the reading of wazeefas and wazeefas. We have got to be very sharp, very alert and very careful.

There are many orphan boys and girls who are placed in the custody and guardianship of some family member or members. These orphans are most vulnerable. They are in a weak, defenceless position, at the mercy of their seniors, and they no longer have the protection of their parents. We deal with different cases. Sometimes some family member uncle, cousin, guardian, or some other person takes a liking to a pretty, young girl, and she is an orphan and she is growing up in that house. To get some Haraam pleasure, such persons even use the Hadith, as a pretext, since Rasulullah ( 1 ) had advised as a

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remedy for hard-heartedness: Pass an affectionate hand over the orphans head 29 They stroke her head, or hug and kiss her, justifying it in the light of the Hadith Sharief. And sometimes it leads to child abuse and molestation. I say again: Some suspicion is sin and we should not be entertaining thoughts that everyone is guilty but we have to also be very careful.

The Ijtima 30 is taking place and some are requesting others to take their young sons along with them to the Ijtima that son of 11 / 12 / 13 years of age. The father says : Take him to the ijtima. But who is going to take him there? Who is going to look after him there? Where is he going to sleep? What is he going to do? If you have got so much of shauq and enthusiasm, then go as well. Take your son and go. No one is stopping your son attending the Ijtima. But go with. Why leave him loose there?

29 30

Musnad Ahmad Ijtima : A gathering of people where Islamic sermons are delivered.

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As it is, people complain that the young children are misbehaving, getting up to all kinds of mischief, watching this and that. Be responsible. Close your shop and go. Take the son or sons and go. Give them a nice, good time. Let them also take benefit. It is extremely encouraged. It is very rewarding. This is spending quality time with your children. We have got no time to spend with our children, so we send them with others to spend the time, unconcerned about the repercussions. Why dont the fathers make some sacrifice instead of the fathers passing their children into the care of just anyone? There are many who write to my Shaykh and say : I have got a son and I want to send him to the khanqah. Hazrat asks : What is his age? Such people give ages like 10 / 12 / 13 years. Hazrat says You come with him to the khanqah. We

will give you a room upstairs and you stay with him. Do not leave him alone in the company of the strangers here.
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Hearts are no longer clean. The environment that we live in constantly pollutes our gazes and our hearts. And of course, nafs and shaytaan 31 are in attendance with every person.

The media across the board condones, promotes and glorifies sins like homosexuality and adultery. People who had no inclination towards homosexual behaviour write to me, saying that just viewing one film or movie which was based on homosexuality, and suddenly they feel they have no control over their own passion and lust when it comes to the same sex. A Muslim teacher, teaching at a Muslim School, wrote the same, stating that he was a perfectly normal male, but just one film and his behaviour changed so much, that whilst teaching the boys, he would become so attracted to some of those young boys that he was finding it extremely difficult to control his evil desires. He was afraid of engaging in the sin, and wanted desperately to overcome this weakness.

31

shaytaan : Satan / the devil

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Others too including females have complained along the same lines; that it is particularly challenging to restrain the nafs, and whilst they are trying to hold back, they fear falling into the sin.

From the advice given, I tell them to continue meditating over the punishment that was meted out to the people of Lut ( ) and the Shar`i punishments for the person engaging in the act; together with the fact that indulgence in homosexuality (or lesbianism) is such, which draws the curses of Allah Taala and Rasulullah (1 ) - and a person under such a curse is deprived altogether of the Mercy of Allah Taala. (Allah Taala protect). The person should also lower his gaze when it comes to such young boys/handsome men, where he fears there will be some kind of attraction. He should not be alone with anyone. These are actually the whisperings, encouragement and deception of shaytaan and nafs. Both are trying to deceive and convince that this is the persons nature and disposition.

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Shaytaans effort is to ruin the worldly life and the Hereafter of the person, and whilst the nafs seeks some temporary gratification, it does not consider the consequences i.e. its own humiliation and disgrace and the punishment of Hellfire. However, with effort and striving and dua, a person will, Insha-Allah, overcome both nafs and shaytaan. The person should not feel hopeless and despondent. If the person is sincere, Allah Taala will most definitely assist. Moreover, fantasizing about such young boys or men (or strange women) is Haraam. I generally give the prescription Giving up Haraam Fantasizing 32 to those who write about their habit of fantasizing and ,33 many have found it beneficial in giving up the sin. So this is the scenario in all truth. UNDERSTAND WELL : In these times of fitnah more especially, young boys should be given the same protection as young girls.

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Found on the website : YunusPatel.co.za ( Alhamdulillah): All Praise is due to Allah

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One person wrote to my Shaykh and there are many who write along the same lines to the Mashaa`ik. He said that his evil gaze repeatedly falls on young boys, and he wrote that everywhere he turned in the institution he attended, there was a young beautiful boy to look at. Hazrat Maulana Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb (Daamat Barakaatuhum) replied : In todays times, one needs to be cautious in even raising the first glance. You should adopt the same precaution for those boys as you would do to save your life if there are snakes at every step. The venom of a snake can lead to physical death, b ut the venom of the evil, lustful gaze leads to spiritual death. And spiritual death leads to Jahannum (Hellfire). Lustful gazes are arrows that pierce the spiritual heart, and kill it. (Allah Taala protect us all). This is why my Shaykh is very discouraging and opposing of young boys going to boarding schools and institutions, where they have to share rooms with big

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boys, bearded ones. 34 They can easily find themselves victim to abuse from older boys or other seniors, as is very common in these days. They are minor, innocent, weak, and defenceless, and we place them in the lions den. We deal with cases all the time. No one can say that we are relating fairy tales. We have our fingers on the pulse of society. People criticize those Ulama 35 who speak out on these issues, labelling them as obsessed, and even accusing those Ulama of having sick hearts. Their criticism is such: These Ulama are sometimes obsessed with these types of issues. Can it be that bad? What is wrong with boys being with boys? Do they think that everyones heart is sick? etc. etc. They can think what they wish to think. But those who are dealing with cases every single day, know fully well the extent of fitnah, and being aware of what is happening, they cannot deny it or pretend that nothing is happening. They have a duty to caution and warn the community.

34

In Hazrats Madrasah in Karachi, boys are strictly separated in dormitories and classes on the basis of age. Young boys are not allowed to intermingle freely with older boys. 35 Ulama : Scholars of Islam

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There has to be close monitoring and supervision whether of young girls or of young boys.

Parents should constantly be advising and cautioning their children. You have got to speak to the children before sending them anywhere even excursions and other pleasure trips with the school; even in respect to their daily attendance at school. Tell them : Dont allow yourself to be alone with anyone. Be careful not to join company where they are watching or listening to Haraam on their cell-phones or on television, or are smoking. Some of the bigger boys take their cell phones in the bus, in the plane and to other places, and use their phones to engage in Haraam and encourage others towards the same. How many young children were introduced to cigarettes and drugs at the schools, by bigger boys? How many Grade 1s, 2s and other minor children have in their possession, porn pictures, magazines, etc. ? This is no exaggeration. They have been caught by teachers.

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There are so many young children 5 / 6 / 7 years of age younger or older that are viewing pornography; either by being exposed to it through other students at the schools, or worse still, by keeping company with their shameless fathers or uncles who do so. And then we have experimentation and disaster.

One person related a dream to me. I said, as interpretation: It seems as if movies are viewed in the Masjid 36. Within a few days, this interpretation was made evident. We had a visiting Aalim 37 giving a talk in the Masjid. I was sitting on a chair near the front, and from there, I observed some youngsters deeply occupied with their cell-phones. I requested one of the musallis 38 to quietly go to the back and see what they were up to. From behind them, he observed that they were watching dirty pictures on their cell-phone screens. Allah Taala forgive us. We do not even think of the gravity of engaging in sins in the House of Allah.

36

Masjid : Mosque Aalim : Scholar of Islam 38 Musallis : Those who frequent the Masjid for Prayer
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Who gives them the money, or who purchases these cell phones for them? So this kind of advice and caution should be given to children and not just once; it should be given repeatedly: They must not be alone with anyone, they must stay clear of bad company, they must not accept sweets, etc. from strangers. They can understand that much.

I was saying: Our shortcoming is that when the opportunity arrives, we pass over our children to others: Take my son with you to the Ijtima. - without care and concern that the young son of 10/12 years will be left all alone with someone older and perhaps even unreliable or irresponsible. The Ijtima does not mean that the person will be spending all his time at the Ijtima. I re-iterate: Let them also benefit from such Deeni programmes. But give your time. Go as well. Make some sacrifice: Close the shop on Saturday and on Sunday. Be the one that they accompany and travel with. Otherwise send them with some senior family member who is really reliable.

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Everyone is not a Waliullah 39. So many may be attending such Deeni programmes, but are themselves coming out of their bad habits. We give them the benefit of the doubt, and everyone deserves the chance and opportunity to rectify himself through such programmes. But then we still have to be cautious and alert. We cannot jeopardise the chastity, Deen and even future of our children. Those who say that the Ulama who voice such concerns and warnings, are plain orthodox or very hard and difficult then their criticism is plain ignorance of what is happening, of what is harsh reality! We have to continue advising and warning. Let people say what they want to say. Let others laugh. You wont have to cry.

Sometimes we encourage our children to befriend and keep company with their cousins or others. This young girl who grew up wearing dress, pants and scarf decent, modest clothing, is now placed in the company

39

Waliullah : Friend of Allah (Taala)

34

of cousins who are modern, following fashion trends and even indecently dressed. Naturally, the child is going to be very uncomfortable. She will feel like a fish out of water because this is not the territory and environment that she is used to. The other girls are dressed in jeans and t-shirts, or in shorts and tops, or whatever else; they are singing and dancing and she is amidst them in her cloak and scarf. And who placed her there? Her parents. What is she going to do? When the condition amongst the cousins is such, then dont place her in such a vulnerable position, where she too, wanting to be accepted by them, inclines to the same dressing or way of life. This kind of situation can lead to her rebelling against all the efforts given for a good upbringing. At such a time, you should take your daughter out to permissible places, take her to visit those whose daughters have also been brought up with Islamic teachings, and whom she can befriend. And explain to her that Allah Taalas pleasure comes first : We have to please Him. If we do so, then Allah Taala will grant us happiness in our hearts. Encourage them along these lines. Reward them on their efforts.

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Make the child happy with Halaal 40 so that he or she will grow up loving the beautiful Deen (religion) of Islam. We need to create an environment of obedience to Allah Taala, within our homes, within our society, family circles, friends then there will be true enjoyment and happiness.

Those who keep their children with them like the hen keeps her chicks near her at all times, remain protected. If the parents are pious and righteous then , the children generally grow up with those same values in life. Even though there are some influences at the schools and the outside environment, but when the major part of the time is spent under the supervision of parents, then naturally, this offers a protection for the children. We have seen the good sense of responsibility of some parents : Wherever they go, they take their children with; wherever they stay, the children stay there as well; whenever they go on holiday, their children go with.

40

Halaal : Lawful

36

And if not, then the best is staying home. Play table tennis, play some permissible games and let the children enjoy themselves. Have picnics eat and drink, altogether. Let it be under the watchful gaze of the parents. Shariah does not deprive anyone of enjoyment. There is plenty of scope for Halaal pleasure, entertainment and relaxation. , with a good, wholesome upbringing, such children make good progress. They are well-behaved, happy children. Their parents are proud of them, their grandparents are proud of them. Despite the restrictions, there is always some kind of permissible enjoyment. They are not deprived of education, of travel, of knowing the world, or of permissible sport, within the boundaries of Shariah. However, it is always under the guidance and supervision of the parents.

Take the example of Shaykhul Hadith, Hazrat Maulana Muhammad Zakariyya ( ) His father, Hazrat Maulana Yahya ( ) committed himself entirely to the upbringing of his son. As such, Hazrat Maulana Muhammad Zakariyya had an extremely protected

37

upbringing. Moreover, his father made a great effort on his sons character and piety. Look at the success. We may think that such parents keep their children too restricted but there is nothing restricting. Long term, the child benefits, in this world as well as the next. So too, do the parents benefit. Rasulullah ( 1 ) said: When a man dies, all his actions are cut off from him, except three: everrecurring charity, or knowledge from which benefit is derived, or a virtuous child praying for him. 41

Here too, we need to understand that bringing up children requires effort from both mother and father. Sometimes the mother is making a sincere and concerted effort in the upbringing of the children, but the father introduces all those elements which nullify the noble efforts of the mother by bringing the television and other bad elements into the home, giving the children plenty of money which is then used for cellphones, cinemas, drugs, illicit relationships and so forth. How many mothers complain that they will not grant permission to the child to go out with friends or certain
41

Sahih Muslim

38

family members due to the bad influence or due to the children being introduced to Haraam, but the father will respond: Go. No problem. Dont listen to your mother. The children then see the father as their doorway to all kinds of freedom; they dont give consideration to the mothers rules and advice and the mothers efforts are floored. Or it is the other way around. The fathers efforts are in vain because the mother is taking the children here, there and everywhere exposing her children to various negative elements and purchasing those items which would adversely affect the childs Imaan, Islam and character. Bringing up children requires team effort. Both husband and wife need to complement each other in their efforts to bring up their children. There should be no opposition, rather co-operation. The demand is for both parents to be mature and responsible when it comes to the children. There should be no negligence and irresponsibility in the fulfilment of this duty.

I was presenting a Tafseer (Commentary) of Surah Yusuf, at the Madrasah the cds 42 should be available at the library.
42

All profits are divided between the Masjid and Madrasah. Hazrat Maulana did not benefit financially in any way from the sales of tapes/ cds.

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In the discussion, there were many pertinent issues drawn, which offer many lessons. The incident of the jealous brothers of Hazrat Yusuf (6 ) who plotted to get rid of him, and subsequently threw him in a well, is well-known but this is not just a story. It is relevant for all, even today as it will be, for always. The brothers of Yusuf (6 ) said to their father:

S END HIM WITH US TOMORROW TO ENJOY HIMSELF AND PLAY , AND WE SHALL TAKE EVERY CARE OF HIM .
[S URAH Y USUF 12 : 12]

They persisted and reassured their father that they will just play, eat and drink. In our times, we can translate that as the invitation to play, or have a picnic, braai or whatever else which is permissible entertainment. What did Hazrat Ya`qub ( 6 ) say?

H E SAID , R EALLY , IT SADDENS ME THAT YOU SHOULD TAKE HIM AWAY . I FEAR LEST THE WOLF SHOULD DEVOUR HIM WHILE YOU ATTEND NOT TO HIM .
[S URAH Y USUF 12 : 13]

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Hazrat Ya`qub ( 6 ) did not prohibit them from enjoyment; rather he was reluctant to entrust Yusuf ( 6 ) to them, apprehending some danger. And what did they do?

S O THEY DID TAKE HIM AWAY , AND THEY ALL AGREED TO THROW HIM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE WELL
[S URAH Y USUF 12 : 15]

The Tafseer elaborates how the brothers first carried Yusuf until they were out of their fathers sight. They then threw the young Yusuf to the ground and walked away from him, leaving him to try to keep up with their pace, despite his tender age. Although he sought their help, they treated him with coldness and hostility, and finally flung him in an old well. On their return home, we read of the many lies they uttered to cover up their evil, vile deed. Worse still, they then sold Yusuf for a paltry sum of money. There are so many lessons drawn: Like the brothers of Yusuf, there are family and friends who sometimes discourage and dissuade the parents in their efforts in bringing up their children on Deen. They

41

say it is unhealthy to restrict the children, that there should be moderation, that the children should be allowed some freedom, and so forth. Freedom in its place but there is a need for monitoring and supervising. Otherwise, many parents lost their children in being balanced or broadminded. Some show great love for our daughters and sisters but we have to be very careful. The types of incidents are shocking. Sometimes, they are not safe from even uncles and brothers. Therefore we are instructed to have separate beds for the sons and daughters 43; better still, separate rooms. In these days of fitnah, the sons and daughters need to be separated early. Give them separate rooms. Of course, if a person cannot do so, i.e. he does not have space then it is a different issue. However, vigilance and alertness are key components in protecting our children. Who does not know what is happening? We all know the kinds of fitnahs the Ummah 44 is facing. Yet we still find so much of negligence
43

Abu Dawud / Tirmidhi

42

There are those parents who hear or see some advertisement for a childrens day: play, fun, activity, or there is some entertainment or event at the shopping centres for children. The children are just left there and the parents go about with their shopping and other activities. Yet, this kind of scenario spells DANGER. There is no real security, no safety and the more children there are, the more difficult it is to oversee. We often hear and read of kidnappings and child trafficking. Many children just disappeared from such places, never to be seen again. It is plain irresponsibility from the side of the parents.

The fear of Hazrat Ya`qub ( 6 ) was that a wolf may devour his beloved, young son for Hazrat Yusuf ( 6 ) was still minor; according to some Commentators only seven years of age. Then should we not have fear for our children that they not be lured into sins, or devoured by human predators? We are living in a very, very vicious environment. There are predators out there like how there are vultures and wild animals just waiting to prey. There are such

44

Ummah : Community of Muslims

43

people around. They have no khauf-e-Khuda (fear of Allah Taala). They are overpowered by lust and passion. And in watching all the Haraam, their lusts increase to such a degree that they cannot think and see right. Their behaviour becomes worse than the animals - because the animals will not be questioned about their behaviour, and there are some acts even animals would not perpetrate on each other. They become, as described by Allah Taala :

T HE LOWEST OF THE LOW .
[S URAH T IN 95 : 5]

Sometimes we see a drunkard wobbling along so that he reaches his destination. But this person, intoxicated by his evil desires, cannot even wobble to safety. He falls flat with the punch of shaytaan and nafs - with the one upper cut of lust and passion that shaytaan gives on his lower jaw. He falls flat. When the person is drunk with lust and passion, he does not see what is right and what is wrong. It makes no difference to him. He cannot differentiate between his wife and daughter, sister or niece.

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We have to be very, very sharp and alert. These issues are not discussed in detail formally, nor all the time, because many do not understand or rather, they do not appreciate. They think the Ulama are bigoted and very narrow minded. They may even think that the advisor or the persons who are warning, think dirty. 45 But as you too can see, this is what we are dealing with on a daily basis. It is what we read of in the letters and in the e-mails and the faxes. People relate these stories themselves. Where do we have time to sit and cook up stories and why should we? This is not like buying different ingredients and doing some cooking. We are telling you something that is direct from the horses mouth. The person wants Islaah (reformation), and we appreciate that at least he is writing for that purpose. No person should feel that he is looked down upon. Yes, it hurts us a great deal. It is grief and a heavy burden upon the heart, but we make dua for the person: O Allah, take him out of these sins. Give hidayat and guidance.

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( ) Na-oozu Billahi: We seek Allahs protection.

Thus, when the person says himself, that this is what is happening or what he is doing, or discusses the problem of his brother, sister, niece or nephew Then? How many cases? Not just one. We have no count because there are so many.

One of the last e-mails was of a person : married, two children, kurta, beard What did he get involved in? His wife wrote that she awoke at 2 a.m. to find him with his cell-phone. As soon as she asked : Whose message? What are you reading? Finish! The husband got upset and defensively said : What! Are you suspecting me? What do you think? Im involved with someone? The wife said : Then let me see the phone. The person responds, No I was reading a friends message. Later, when she checked the phone, she found that he was communicating with some woman.

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I am not talking about the fast-lane people. This is someone who, on the outside, seems to be very deendaar (religious). Like us. Sometimes there is such pretence. A guise. Who are we deceiving? When the wife confronts him and tells him that he is communicating with a woman, he strongly denies it, even saying : No, no, no. I was watching a porn site. Even if he was watching porn Is that permissible? And is that the time Tahajjud 46 time to watch porn? Is that the time to visit porn-sites for the deendaar people? Now is this a fairy tale ? Many get very upset if the wife has to look into the cellphone messages. What is there to get upset about? If the person has got nothing to hide, what is there to be upset about? It is only if he has got something to hide that he will get upset. Otherwise why get upset? I dont know how many messages I receive on my cellphone; men and women asking questions or sending
Tahajjud : the greatest of nafl (optional) prayers which is preferably performed in the latter portion of the night.
46

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some important messages. I have got nothing to hide. The phone lies there. Anyone can access it. Why must I be scared if there is nothing to hide? The problem is our nafs! This is what I am repeatedly saying Nafs is our worst enemy. For how long will we continue with the Two Images business? One image for the house and a very different one for the outside. Such an amazing pretence of piety! It cannot go on for too long. It inevitably gets exposed.

One brother contacted me and said that he too had to learn the hard way. He did not think if he engaged in some Haraam secretly, it would be exposed but said that he had to contend with such humiliation. He too is outwardly deendaar. He was spending the night at a hotel where the guests can hire films and view them in their rooms. He hired a porn movie and watched that. The next morning, when checking out, he was told the cost of watching the porn movie and this was said to him, with the name of the film, loud and clear, in the

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presence of a group of Muslim visitors. Even though he tried to deny hiring the porn movie, reception was adamant that that was what was on record. He said, himself, that he was extremely, extremely humiliated, put to shame and disgrace because those Muslim guests were standing close by, and had overheard the exchange. His actions were exposed. Another brother a Hafez - said that I should share his story and experience with people, so that they take lesson. He had spent time with a prostitute. After leaving her, she had a heart attack and died. The police got involved, considering it a possible murder. In their investigation, they went through her client listing and her phone, and they picked up that he was her last client and arrested him. After this, there was just shame and disgrace. He said himself, it was unreal the kind of harassment, suffering and the pressure he was under. Finally, after a long-drawn process, he was cleared and not considered a suspect in the cause of death. Her death was taken to be a natural death and not a criminal offence. Allah Taala saved him, but in the sight of Allah Taala it was a criminal offence.

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Where would this person have thought that just after committing this sin, this would have happened? He was fortunate that he was not the one to have had the heart attack and die in that condition. Otherwise, so many Muslims have already died in prostitute quarters and massage parlours. As is commonly stated: You will be raised how you died, and you will die how you lived. The idea is to take lesson. This is not a platform for sensational news. It is to take lesson and stay clear from such vices. Otherwise the person is summoning the punishment of Allah Taala, and he is, as if, asking for humiliation and disgrace. In fact, many a time he is buying it with his own money. An intelligent person takes lesson. So take lesson. When someone says that fire burns and shows you third degree burns and scars, then it would be the height of stupidity to say : I too want to experience the burning sensation of fire. I too want to suffer as you have. So dont wait to get burnt. Listen to the stories of those who have burnt their lives and who have burnt their hearts. The intelligent person takes lessons from the

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mistakes of others. The fool wants to experience the same burn. Allah Taala says in the Quran Sharief :

O NLY THOSE WHO POSSESS INTELLIGENCE WILL TAKE HEED .
[S URAH Z UMAR 39: 9]

So this pretence of piety cannot go on for too long, before being exposed. Sometimes the person brings about some changes in his (or her) life, and for a few days all is going well in regards to staying away from sins The downfall is when we begin to think we are infallible against the temptation to sin. The person is quick to place himself on the pedestal of piety before any istiqaamat (steadfastness) is achieved. Just one or two days, and the person is saying This

change came into my life. That change came into my life and after a few days, he is back to square one. Why ?

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Because of those secret sins. This is what pulls the person back. Secret sins hold the person back. If only we keep before us the simple prescription of our Akaabireen 47: Allah Taalas Nazr (Gaze) is on our nazr. Some people say : I have paak (clean) gazes. What kind of paak nazr is that when it is directed to strange women or young, handsome boys ? Rather admit : I have napaak nazr. Make taubah instead of justifying it with paak nazr. Again I say It is for these reasons, and in these days especially, a person has to be very cautious, very much on guard when it comes to our young children daughters and sons. We should not be so easy going and willing when it comes to sending them with others whether for a holiday, picnic, shopping, or wherever else. There is no problem if cousins are getting together, so long as the bigger girls and boys are separated. However, even with them playing separately, be there yourself.

47

Akaabireen : Seniors

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Make sure they do not get involved with cell-phones or any other mischief. If you are not going to exercise responsibility and caution, then these are the serious consequences, which I have just outlined to you. How many letters we are receiving How many! The same with telephone calls and smses : Maulana, please make dua please make dua that I am not HIV positive. I made a mistake. (I went here. I went there ). It is only when they suspect that they have AIDS, then they request : Make dua. Make dua. The desperation and the panic set in, whereas an intelligent person looks ahead at the consequences of his actions. So how long are we going to hide and conceal?

Here in South Africa, most of the Muslims are dependent on domestic assistance. There is nothing wrong with employing someone to do some of the work at home, or outside the home. However, here too, we dont use our intelligence.

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Many families have some young woman or women brought into the home to do the cleaning, washing, taking care of the children, and so forth. She is taken to be just the maid or servant, and many men and even women do not apprehend any fitnah with the presence of a poor woman brought in for house-work. Many even have live-in maids. They live in the house, they work at night, and sometimes they even have meals with the family. Sometimes they are the ones serving the husband or son. Sometimes the man of the house is left alone with her, or the adult son is alone with her and shaytaan gets to work. Rasulullah ( 1 ) said: No man should be alone with a strange woman, because shaytaan is the third among them. 48 We dont have to go into much detail but we do know of the cases of adultery and fornication, illegitimate children, broken marriages - all because everyone got friendly. As I have said previously: There is an open invitation to flirtation.

48

Musnad Ahmad

54

With the amount of glorification of satisfying the nafs, and the veneration of adultery and fornication, and the exposure to so much of indecency, the minds and hearts have become sick. Lust and passion dominates and even consumes the intelligence. Rasulullah ( 1 ) had instructed: Do not enter on strange women (i.e. women not lawful), for verily, shaytaan moves in any one of you like the movement of blood (in your veins). 49 Shariah has cautioned us. So we have to also be cautious. The same when it comes to receptionists and secretaries: Why do they have to be women? And that too, young and pretty? Is this a pre-requisite or qualification for work? It is the nafs! Besides the fact that many employ women to save on salaries and wage, there is also the strong, evil desire of the nafs contributing to employing a young and pretty woman. Who are we fooling? We are certainly not fooling or deceiving Allah Taala.

49

Daarimi

55

Sometimes it is hard to believe that we call ourselves Muslims or that we place ourselves in the category of the deendaar but at the same time, we disregard and abandon fundamental teachings of Islam. So adding to our overall carelessness and laxity, is the new trend of employing foreign men to do the housework. Many, many Muslim homes today have foreign men working inside the house alongside the wife, mother, daughter. Because these men generally from neighbouring countries and also Muslim - are very skilled and hardworking, and do not mind house-work, cooking, ironing and whatever else we think : cheap labour, less work, more time for entertainment, shopping, this and that Again, there is no secret of what is happening. They have free access into the homes. Everyone becomes friendly. Even women in Hijaab leave off their purdah. Sometimes they even leave off the scarf and modest dress because they are in their homes and it is too much of a bother for them to cover up modestly. Yet these are strange men moving in and around the house.

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Many women are so comfortable with these male workers that it does not matter that they are in their pyjamas, kaftans, or whatever else, when these men are present. I get this direct from even those women who are guilty. In the one e-mail, a woman who is in hijab and niqaab wrote to discuss different problems and she said herself that she does not even wear a scarf when interacting with the gardener because she is at home, and just too busy with this and that, but knows it is a compromise of her modesty. The husbands too have no intelligence. Where is their sense of honour? How can they allow for their womenfolk to be so shameless and brazen? It is stated in a Hadith : There are three whom Allah will deprive of Paradise: The one who drinks intoxicants, the one who is disobedient to his parents, and the one who accepts the immoral conduct on the part of his family. 50 Meaning that that husband or father is quite comfortable and at ease, despite his womenfolk interacting with strange men, being alone with them, or engaging in other sins.

50

Musnad Ahmad

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So these men, who are working at home, also get to see the wives and daughters. All are not going to be lowering their gazes, guarding their hearts and minds. Many of them are separated from their wives for months on end, or are young and unmarried. The women too seem to be too confident when it comes to their piety whereas the situation is fraught with great danger. We should not think : He is poor, or he is young, or he is old, or there is no scope of the wife or daughter inclining towards him or vice-versa. This is stupidity. Shaytaan, himself, tendered the following advice to Nabi Musa ( :) Beware of sitting with a woman to whom you are not related. I am her messenger to you and your messenger to her. It does not matter whether the person is not attractive or he is a poor man. Shaytaan will weave his sorcery into the hearts and will not quit in tempting them towards sin. Even if the man is Junaid Baghdadi and the woman is Rabia Basri, but they are alone then most certainly the third is shaytaan.

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Hazrat Khwaja Saheb ( ,) Mufti Muhammad Shafi ) and other such pious personalities went Saheb ( to Shimla (in India), to one of the resorts on the mountain tops. During the summer, many people frequent Shimla - for the beautiful weather up there. As would be expected, there were many tourists. Hazrat Khwaja Saheb ( ) was the Ameer 51 in a group of high-ranking Ulama, all of whom were extremely pious and righteous. There was no question of them casting any evil glances or engaging in any disobedience to Allah Taala. Addressing them, he asked : What must you do when these tourists, who are not appropriately dressed, pass by? He then replied himself: You must keep your gaze on your qadam (feet) (Meaning, they should lower their gazes when any strange women pass). Then he said : My gaze will be on your gaze where you are looking. And Allah Taalas gaze will be on all our gazes.
51

Ameer : Leader

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Look at how they made ihtisaab, how they took account of their actions, how they kept alert, and how they placed like a policeman, a guard or security over their hearts. And yet these were people who were spiritual giants. They had great taqwa and piety, of a level which we cannot even understand. Despite all of this, they placed security guards over their hearts, for the protection of their Imaan and Taqwa. We, on the other hand, are quite relaxed, quite happy and satisfied whether with ourselves or with others. Many feel, and they even say, that the Mashaa`ik are addressing petty and insignificant issues when they talk about lowering the gaze and guarding the heart. They say that there are more important matters to give attention to. But these are Commandments of Allah Taala which are Fardh-e-Ain (compulsory on every adult Muslim). Allah Taala addresses both the believing men and believing women :

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T ELL THE BELIEVING MEN TO LOWER THEIR GAZE ( FROM LOOKING AT THAT WHICH IS H ARAAM ) AND TO BE MODEST ( I . E . TO PROTECT THEMSELVES FROM PROHIBITED DEEDS LIKE
ADULTERY AND FORNICATION ).T HAT IS PURER FOR THEM .

V ERILY A LLAH IS A WARE OF WHAT THEY DO .

A ND TELL THE BELIEVING WOMEN TO LOWER THEIR GAZE ( FROM LOOKING AT THAT WHICH IS FORBIDDEN )
AND TO BE MODEST ( I . E . TO PROTECT THEMSELVES FROM PROHIBITED DEEDS LIKE ADULTERY , FORNICATION , ETC .)

[S URAH N UR 24 : 29/ 30]

Through this command, Allah Taala is safeguarding our respect and dignity. The person will find the fulfillment of this command to be a barrier and protection against adultery and fornication. In lowering the gaze, a person finds peace and tranquility, and ones heart, mind and chastity are safeguarded. Otherwise the consequences are truly very grave. 52 I am echoing these warnings because of what is happening in the community, in the society. These are not stories and fairy tales.

52

Hazrat Maulanas prescription How to give up evil gazes will be found on Hazrat Maulanas website: YunusPatel.co.za

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Is this a fairy-tale Where this friend has run away with the friends wife? They were socializing, considering themselves openminded. The mind-set, the thinking is : We are not orthodox. We are not old-fashioned. We dont belong to the old-school of thought. No. We socialize. We live it up. We go out for coffee and teas, picnics and parties, cricket and soccer - all together.

Hazrat Khwaja Azizul Hasan Majzoob ( ) very aptly says in poetry:

On the outside, there is bright, dazzling light; glitter and glamour, beauty and attraction - especially in the media. And if we travel out, we find the cosmopolitan cities of the world offering plenty of dazzle. The seeing eye beholds light, brightness, shine and vibrancy. However, the reality is darkness upon darkness upon darkness.

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On the outside is the face of friendship, words and claims of friendship and brotherhood; but hidden and lurking behind the dark veils covering the heart are enmity, hatred, jealousy, mischief and evil. These lines of poetry allude to the insincerity and hypocrisy of these times, as well as the caution that needs to be adopted to escape falling into this category or becoming the victim. Due to this darkness in the hearts, so many complain of having trusted a friend, a brother, a neighbour and then having been deceived and betrayed by that same person. As I have said, betrayal of trust has become such a common trait in the lives of Muslims, especially between and amongst those who are close. How common the complaint: I trusted him Therefore, Hazrat Khwaja Saheb ( ) describes the reality of this new civilization as darkness, breeding evil and corruption.

What is Civilization? A Civilized world represents knowledge, enlightenment, advancement, culture, improvement and expansion in all good.

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Our civilized world and modern times are a far cry from what should be reality. What pride can we take in our society? What goodness can we make mention of? Everything encompassing us is a facade. Evil masquerades as good. Sincerity is lost in the wilderness. Friendship, love, concern and trust superficially adorn the character, but the heart harbours deep and intense feelings which are in total conflict with friendship. Hazrat Khwaja Saheb ( ) is unmasking the reality: On the outside there is Muhabbat (Love), but in the hearts there is nothing but hatred and dislike. We are surrounded by wolves in the guise of sheep An x-ray of the spiritual heart would reveal qualities which do not befit a Muslim.

So the attitude and the stance is : We are happening. We are with-it. We dont want to be out-dated and oldfashioned. We live the modern-day. So these husbands want to display their beautiful wives to friends and others

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My Shaykh very aptly discussed the same and his message was : When you purchase meat, milk, and other groceries, you make sure you carry it in a packet or bag hidden from the gazes of people. You do not want others to see your purchases. You keep your money in your wallet or pocket, protected from the gaze of others, and afraid, lest it is snatched away. You place value on your groceries. What of the value of your wife? What becomes of your intelligence that you display and parade your pretty wife? Meat and milk thus hold more value to you than your wife. Yet those groceries cannot take a walk, they cannot fly out of the packet or bag but your wife can easily take a walk, she can elope with your friend, colleague, neighbour, or even brother.

There are so many incidents of men and women who became members of clubs and gyms. Sometimes the club was established for walking or running, in the name of health and well-being. What happens? Muslim men and women also join, make friends with the others, and then some of them walk so much that they even walk out of their marriages. Or they run off with some other member from that club.

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Sometimes it is the gym which is being frequented, and the choice is that gym where there is intermingling of men and women. Just consider the pretext and deceit of the nafs. Why does it have to be a gym which is frequented by women who are scantily dressed? Or vice versa? What happens? Someone gets involved with some strange woman or some woman gets involved with a strange man, and that generally seals the fate of another marriage: Another marriage ends with divorce. Shariah does not discourage physical training and maintaining physical fitness. The Hadith makes mention: A strong believer is better than a weak believer 53 However, Allah Taala has set boundaries and limits for our protection. When we spend so freely, and even wastefully, why can we not spend on that kind of gym equipment for ourselves and families? Then the wife, daughters, sons and we, ourselves, can keep fit and strong in the safety and privacy of our homes.

I was saying : When these husbands allow their young wives to dress up in their modern, western dressing which reveals more than conceals, then who is being entertained?
53

Sahih Muslim

66

Those friends and those brothers-in-law are watching, and most often, taking plenty of enjoyment looking at these young, pretty wives. These women are doing noless. They too are watching sometimes admiring this man, that man and of course, there is everyone mixing and interacting. Do you think that the gaze will remain paak in a set up like this? It reminds me of a call I once received from a Muslim woman. She said to me that she had absolutely no interest in the game of cricket but her husband was a fan. There were some international matches in Durban and he insisted that she comes along even though she was so unwilling. She said herself : One of the Pakistani players stole my heart. Now I only think of him. Even when I am with my husband, the Pakistani player is in my mind and heartWhat do I do? When the heart gets stolen, then even if we say : Report it to the police , they too will not be able to reclaim it. This is what happens How easy it is to lose ones wife, or vice versa. Sharing the same house, the same room, the same bed but her heart is with someone else.

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If need be, make some excuse and stay away. Dont go. There is no sin and no harm in making an excuse if you think they will get upset or voice criticism. You dont have to always say : Because of Deeni reasons and Shariah reasons, I will not be able to attend. If it is some party or braai, then the general response is: If it is because of Shariah, you can still attend; just sit in one room or something... If we know that we dont have the courage, strength and resistance power to keep away from getting caught up in fitnah, make an excuse. Say like Hazrat Ibraheem

( ) said : ( I am sick.) 54

He was sick of the idol-worship they were engaging in. This is what he referred to. As for ourselves : we are spiritually sick and spiritually weak and we fear our sickness increasing. One of our Akaabireen was invited to a function - which was not a Haraam event. However, he had some doubt, or expected that some un-Islamic practice may be engaged in. As such, and so as not to speak any lie, he
54

Surah 37; verse 89

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took a laxative on that day. He underwent this difficulty so that his excuse would be the truth. When he was contacted, he simply said that he had a bout of diarrhoea and was not in a condition to attend . Consider the takleef (difficulty) he took upon himself just to stay away from falling into any fitnah and displeasing Allah Taala. It is not easy to take a laxative for no reason and thereafter, every little while, to run to the toilet. But this was done to save himself from the naraazgi and displeasure of Allah Taala. This kind of effort and abstinence brings peace of mind, tranquillity in the heart, and happiness; otherwise the lives of people are restless, restless, restless. Ask them what kind of lives they are leading... and if they were to be honest, they would say, miserable full of uneasiness, anxiety, discontent. Almost in every home, there is some problem.

Then we have another scenario : The son ran away. The daughter eloped. The niece ran off. She ran away with somebody. Someone ran away with a Muslim, and

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someone else eloped with a non-Muslim. This too is becoming an all too common experience. These youngsters see it on the screen on television, or they read it in books, and they think : This is the solution. Run away. Elope. Marry secretly. When that daughter is found and brought back, then the parents hammer her : Dont you know the rights of the mother? Dont you know the rights of the father? And today, many of them are not scared to say what they like, so she says : Yes, I know the rights of the mother and father but now Ive made up my mind. I must marry this boy. So I am going to marry him to make it Halaal. What happens after this announcement? The parents come to us. They say : We are not happy. This cannot be And they say : Maulana, the akhlaaq of that boy is very, very bad. What about the akhlaaq (character) of the daughter? That daughter who runs away with some boy, some stranger Does she have very good character?

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Sometimes it is the other way around. The parents complain that their son wants to marry a certain girl, and she is the one with very bad character. Maulana, shell spoil my son. Her akhlaaq is very bad. She doesnt even read Salaah. She doesnt do (this and that) How good is the character of your son? The one who took her and ran away, and they slept 2 and 3 nights in a hotel. And only after that, you find them. Must be wonderful character that that son has. He must be genuinely deendaar and pious. May even be the Waliullah of the time! And when that daughter is brought home, what do the parents say? Maulana, she cannot get married now. She has to complete her university studies then only can she talk about marriage The university studies and degrees take priority. This is more important than her respect, her chastity, her modesty And the parents believe that in the interim - whilst studying, this love of hers for that particular boy will die down. Is this intelligence? Where is the aql of the parents ?

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We are dealing with this kind of situation so often. There is no particular case or person I am referring to, because it is like an avalanche, like a flood of such incidents. Words just do not do justice in describing the extent of damage and destruction when it comes to our youth, when it comes to the Ummah at large. There seems to be no defined length or breadth or height such is the magnitude of sins and fitnah. Its time that we wake up from our slumber because all is not always as it seems. With MXIT, FACEBOOK, TWITTER, PORN WEBSITES to name but a few of the traps and snares of shaytaan almost everyone seems to be slipping into some evil. Allah Taala save us all. We send our children to the universities and colleges and instead of becoming educated, cultured human beings many are churned out with bad morals and with degenerative characters. The environment is a breeding ground breeding rebellion rebellion against Allah Taala, rebellion against parents Many have no respect for their parents, no politeness in their dealings with people. Everything revolves around ME, MYSELF AND I. Whereas a Muslim is a selfless

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person who is considerate of all; one who sacrifices for others. What a far cry from the true Muslims the Sahabah ( ) whom Allah Taala described with the distinguishing characteristic, beautiful characteristics amongst other

[S URAH H ASHR 59 : 9]

T HEY PREFER OTHERS ABOVE THEMSELVES We may ask the question: Why do we find this condition in some of our children, despite their education? Because the knowledge obtained was without Allah Taala. The first ayat (verse) to be revealed was :

R EAD , IN THE NAME OF YOUR N OURISHER , WHO CREATED
[S URAH A LAQ 96 : 1]

Knowledge was to be acquired, seeking noble objectives: Recognition of Allah Taala, Love of Allah Taala, and what would naturally follow : Obedience to Allah Taala.

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That knowledge which takes away from obedience to Allah Taala and noble conduct cannot be categorised as knowledge. My Shaykh says so aptly in poetry:

One of the most important factors that contribute to our childrens success in Deen, Dunya 55 and Aakhirah is the right choice of friends and the choice of literature. The same applies to ourselves. This is an aspect that we generally overlook, whereas companionship and friendship are such, which benefit or destroy. One student e-mailed me and mentioned to me that she completed an Islamic course at a certain institution. After leaving the institution, she came into contact with a Christian man. After some time of communication, he convinced her that Christianity was the religion to follow and she accepted it. Her argument to me was that she
55

Dunya : The material world

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did not see herself to be accountable for her choice since it was in her taqdeer 56 to become a Christian. And we seek protection in Allah Taala. The argument clearly indicates studying knowledge without understanding, as well as the great need of tarbiyyah. We realize how dependent we are on the Mercy and Grace of Allah Taala.

THE NAFS IS CERTAINLY PRONE TO EVIL , UNLESS MY L ORD DOES BESTOW H IS M ERCY
[S URAH Y USUF 12 : 53]

Now, if even those who have learnt Deen, who have extensive knowledge of Islam are not safe, then what will be our condition if we continue to remain heedless and indifferent to Islamic teachings? We are living in times where many do not value the priceless bounties of Imaan and Islam. The Hadith describes this period of time as: a man will be a Believer in the morning and a Disbeliever by the evening, and a Believer in the evening and a Disbeliever in the morning... 57

56 57

Taqdeer : Fate Sahih Muslim

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How important it is to hold fast to the teachings of the Ulama-e-Haq and the true, righteous Mashaa`ik for the security of our Deen. What led this student away from Islam, from Belief in One Allah? Why did she choose to believe in an illogical ideology of three is equal to one and one is equal to three? Why? Company. The Wrong Company. How many befriend atheists and are then left in doubt about Islamic Beliefs and teachings to the extent of even inclining towards rejection in Allah Taala? How many have personally told me that it was their friend who introduced them to drugs, fornication, raves, pornography and other vices? It is for these reasons that Rasulullah (1 ) said: A person is on the Deen (way of life) of his friend, so everyone of you should look at who he befriends. 58 Because it is the nature of man to steal from the character of others, to the extent that he would even

58

Abu Dawud / Tirmidhi

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adopt the same way of life, culture and would even accept the religion of his friend.

The likeness of good company and bad company is presented in an excellent analogy by Nabi (1 ). "A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfumeseller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least, you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace." 59 How perfect the example! The good friend has a heart, a soul and actions which are fragranced with Allah Taalas Love and Obedience. Just sitting with him is akin to being in the company of a perfume-seller. Even if we cannot afford to purchase the itr (perfume), the beautiful scent will surely offer some pleasure and joy. And if one has established friendship with the perfume seller, he may even, out of kindness, gift you some of his perfume.

59

Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim

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Meaning, we may not have the same beautiful actions, character and speech but the effect and benefit of good company will most certainly fall onto our hearts and will offer encouragement. As for the bad friend : His heart and his soul and his actions have a connection with the fire of Hell. When a persons heart is ablaze with the fire of sin, what goodness can he offer? There will be no fragrance; only the unpleasant smell of smoke, which will sooner than later affect the spiritual senses. Ones Imaan is affected. Ones a`maal (actions) are affected. There is darkness and restlessness in such company. We therefore need to also guide our children in regards to their choice of friends. Moreover, company is not only physical. Novels, magazines, films, the internet and so forth, offer companionship as well. Characters in books, authors and journalists, actors and actresses, pop-stars and singers, sportsmen and sportswomen, sorcerers and magicians, atheists and satanists and others, manipulate the persons behaviour and thinking. Dont we see the tremendous

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influence of literature and media in our lives and that of our children? It is as clear as daylight.

There are so many tell-tale signs that disclose that there is some indulgence in Haraam. When that teenage son or daughter becomes withdrawn, aloof, is always locked in his or her room, suffering depression or being rebellious, or temperamental, having suicidal tendencies, or behaving in strange and bizarre ways then this indicates something. Those in the know those who are dealing, day in and day out, with such cases, immediately deduce that it is either an illicit relationship, pornography, drugs, the effects of getting involved in a satanic cult, or some other vice. Of course, there are exceptions, but 95% of the time, it is due to indulgence in sins. Allah Taalas punishment sometimes becomes manifest in their physical health; even their mental stability. How many write or e-mail stating that their indulgence in fornication, pornography, lustful gazes or other Haraam actions has affected their health, or rather destroyed their health... to the extent that they now fear getting married and not being able to fulfil the rights of the

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wife, or fear not being able to father children. The damage is sometimes so extensive.

I have received e-mails from parents who are pious and righteous and who have brought up their children with Deen, and have also taken those measures to protect their children from the various temptations to sin. However, they write to say that their daughters or sons are also caught in some fitnah or the other. It is unfortunate but very much a reality that many good Muslim girls and boys have been caught up in MXIT, FACEBOOK, BBM, etc. And sadly many have lost the respect they had, falling into the fitnah of illicit relationships, photographs of themselves, and so forth. Many have described MXIT and FACEBOOK as a drug they are addicted to. Everyone is vulnerable to the snares on MXIT, FACEBOOK, BBM and other social networks. Despite a few positives, everything else screams danger for a Muslim. It makes the person negligent of Allah Taala, it is a means of developing bad character, bad attitude and a rebellious temperament It leads to a lot of undesirable behaviour and actions. Many adults too, have destroyed their marriages with their Haraam

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involvement with women or men through these mediums. However, the approach by the parents should not be harsh and hard, such that the child runs away, or elopes, or does something extreme like committing suicide. As I have explained to some parents who respond violently and aggressively : There is a need to sit the daughter (or son) down, and with love and compassion talk to her. Win her over. Explain that a good Muslim girl with her upbringing, education, knowledge of Deen, with hijaab, etc. should know the dangers. Social networks often open the door to various fitnahs and Haraam indulgences. And when Allah Taala is displeased, then problems arise the person invites different kinds of punishments into her (or his) life : restlessness, anxiety, depression, fear, the curse of Allah Taala. Is this what she (he) wants? What about Aakhirah 60? Accountability? What about death visiting at any time? What if it is whilst she is communicating with some boy (or vice versa)?

60

Aakhirah : Hereafter

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Moreover, we, who have Deen in our lives, are to be setting the example of what a pious, noble Muslim or Muslimah is. Social networks are an open and public advertisement for all those who are part of it. Names and details circulate very fast and the persons hayaa (modesty) and respect are easily lost through it. People come to know through the grape-vine who is involved with who, who is doing what, and later on it can be an obstacle in the girl or even boy, getting married. If the son or daughter is a student at a Madrasah 61 or Darul Uloom 62, or even teaching in a Maktab 63 or Madrasah, then this could lead to expulsion or dismissal , if it involves Haraam indulgences. It is very necessary for parents to monitor their childrens usage of Internet and cellphone, as well as for parents to become acquainted with technology. Otherwise children are so adept with technology, that they easily hoodwink their parents. Parents have written or e-mailed, saying that when they went into the history data of the computer, they found that their children were visiting porn sites or involved in other Haraam. Some mentioned that they realized their
Madrasa: Religious Institution Daarul Uloom : Religious Institution for higher learning 63 Maktab : Primary level madrasa
61 62

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children were upto some Haraam, because the children would delete the history data of the websites they visited, or were very secretive in the use of the computer or in regards to their e-mails.

In respect to what was said earlier: Even when our children are playing at home, and there are some friends or neighbours whom they are playing with, then despite the safety of home, we have to still monitor. What are they playing? What are they watching? There are rights which they too have. We need to spend quality time with our children. Be cheerful with them. Talk to them. Be like a friend to them. Dont make life miserable for them by being harsh, hard and stern. You dont have to show your authority all the time, or throw your weight around, or be angry on every little shortcoming and weakness. Children are children. We talk nicely to the children. We come down to the level of the grandchildren, and talk at their level. We play with them, like how children play. At that time, we dont assert ourselves as the big Shaykhul Hadith 64 or Mufti Saheb 65 or Qari Saheb 66.
64 65

Shaykhul Hadith : Scholar who specializes in the science of Hadith Mufti Saheb : A Scholar who specializes in the field of Jurisprudence.

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So come down to their level. Understand them. Make friends with them. Deal with them with love, compassion and mercy.

Little children have got the potential of imitation and emulation. They like to imitate. They want to imitate. If the mother keeps her little child near when she is reading Salaah, then the child will sit and watch. And thereafter, do the same. Without a word of encouragement, the child wants her own burqa 67 and musallah 68, tries to imitate the ruku 69 and sajda 70 or just goes up and down, up and down sometimes even climbing onto the mothers back and getting a ride, whilst she is in sajda The effect of obedience to Allah Taala falls onto the child

Qari Saheb: An expert and authority in the recitation of the Qur`aan Sharief. Burqa : Long, head covering garb 68 Musallah: Place of prayer 69 Ruku : Bowing (during the prayer) 70 Sajda : Prostration.
66 67

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As for the mother who is going to switch on the television, sit and watch all the haraam scenes, listen to music, and whatever else then what will her children learn?

The Tarbiyyah of the child does not start when the child turns 14 years or 18 years or 20 years old. Whilst the child is in the mothers womb, there is already the effect of what the mother is watching, speaking, listening, eating and so forth. These facts are being proven scientifically. Science and medicine are proving the teachings of Islam only now. We now read that everything linked to the mother whether her actions, speech or emotions leave an imprint on the developing child. The music from the outside is affecting the child inside; the tapping of the feet, the loud pop music, the beating of the drum, the overall behaviour everything influences the baby. If these types of actions, which they are talking about, influence the developing baby, then what of the Azaan 71 which is read in the new-borns ear?

71

Azaan : The Call to Prayer

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Whilst they are proving these facts in this day and age, we were informed and taught through Rasulullah (1 ) more than 1400 years ago, that when a child is born, the Azaan should be called out softly in the right ear, and the Iqaamah 72 in the left ear, respectively. Sceptics and critics said or say : What will the child understand? Is it time for the baby to read Salaah that we should give the Azaan and Iqaamah? Doctors are now proving what Shariah has already established. We have been taught that the message of Tauheed (The Oneness of Allah Taala) must be the first words that enter the ears of the new-born. It must be the first message to reach the heart and mind; the first imprint on the heart together with the Risaalat (Prophethood) of Nabi (1 ). As adults, we should take another lesson : We have the Azaan and we have the Iqaamah. And immediately after the Iqaamah, the Imam says - 37 finish.

72

Iqaamah: The announcement of the Commencement of the Obligatory Prayer

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( Allahu Akbar) : Allah is the Greatest

In fact, the Imam just waits for the utterance of 47 which indicates the commencement of the Salaah 75. ? Know that Salaah is going to start very soon. - It has What is the meaning of already started. So the Azaan and Iqaamah have already been given for the baby. What is left is the Janaza Salaah 76. If we contemplate the time between the Azaan and then Iqaamah and the Salaah it is sometimes just one second or a few seconds, and then the Takbeer-e Tahreema ( ) signifies the Salaah. We should meditate deeply over this: The Azaan, in our right ear, and the Iqaamah, in our left ear, were already given at the time of our births. All that is left is our Janaza Salaah. Just as the time between the Iqaamat and Salaah is negligible so too, is the time span of our lives.

74
75 76

: Salaah has begun.

Salaah : Prayer, 5 times a day. Janaza (Salaah) : The Funeral prayer

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As someone aptly mentioned: Our life is like the dash between the date of birth and date of passing away, which we find inscribed on some tombstones especially those of the non-Muslims. Though this dash of life is so short, it is such a significant stage in our journey, that it either makes or breaks our Hereafter. This little dash either delivers a person to Jannat or delivers him to Jahannum. So before someone mentions the date of our departure, we should convert the dash of life, to time well spent in procuring the requirements and supplies for the long journey ahead. The requirements are Imaan and Islam and the supplies are our good deeds.

The life of this world cannot be compared to the life of the Aakhirah (Hereafter). There is no real comparison that can be made. What is 60 years of a persons life or 100 years of a persons life in comparison to millions and millions of years running into eternity of the next life?

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So the Azaan has been called. Iqaamah is complete. Let

us prepare for the which will be read at our own

The child is just born but we are preparing the child for Janaza Salaah. This message of Tauheed, of the Greatness of Allah Taala, this message of Risaalat , and this call to Salaah, is instilling the seed of Divine Love. Insha-Allah, it will take effect in the heart and will become manifest as the child grows.

I have had the opportunity of calling out the Azaan and Iqaamah in the ears of many babies. I must have done so hundreds of times; perhaps even more than a thousand because in those days, everyone would bring their babies. Most often, the babies would be asleep. When I would commence with the Azaan, then before me was the same lesson : My Azaan and Iqaamah were already given. I dont know when my Janaza Salaah will follow. With that kind of thought and feeling, I would softly call out the Azaan and Iqaamah and I observed with most babies, that they lifted their heads, opened their eyes

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and it was as if they too were listening carefully, and as if they were even understanding - as if. Otherwise someone will quote me, and they will say, When Maulana was giving the Azaan and Iqaamah, then the babies started with Surah Fatiha 77and they read very beautifully! However, it was my observation : They opened their eyes and would stare as if that message was understood. So everything does take its effect. And Tarbiyyah is initiated at a very early stage. What I have stated today is not just information or some kind of entertainment. All those who are married, those who have children must take this Nasihah (advice) very seriously, and adhere to it at all times. Allah Taala protect me, protect you, and protect families. Allah Taala protect our children, grandchildren, our great-grandchildren and all children of the Ummah of Nabi ( 1 ) our our the the

77

Surah Fatiha : The Opening Chapter of the Qur`aan Sharief.

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Ummah at large; whether the Ummah of Ijaabat 78 or the Ummat of Da`wat 79 those who accepted Deen or those who have not accepted as yet...

We should make dua that Allah Taala guides them as well, makes them aware of the beautiful teachings of Islam, and brings them into this Deen of Islam, so that they too can also find peace in this world, secure Allah Taalas Radha and pleasure, gain najaat and salvation, and enter Jannat in the Aakhirah. We should be concerned about them. Look at them! They are lost. They are totally lost. And the sad part is that we have nothing to present to them. As a result, they are landing themselves in jail; some are arrested for murder due to some love triangle Relationships now come in different shapes also: Sometimes it is a triangle, sometimes a rectangle just depends. People get entangled in all these tangles. And they cannot come out of this entanglement. And most of the time, these tangles are with those who are wearing bangles. So whichever angle you look at it in,
Ummah of Ijaabat : Those accepted Ummah of Da`wat : Entire Ummah 80 Hidayat : Guidance
78 79

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we have to be very, very careful and very much on guard. May Allah Taala grant us a deep and sincere appreciation of His Commandments and Prohibitions (Muharramaat). Allah Taala did us a GREAT FAVOUR. It is His Ihsaan (favour) upon us that He had already declared certain actions Haraam for us. He is the Creator of man so He knows that these are the actions and deeds which are harmful to man. Thus, indulgence in Haraam will inevitably cause some harm to the individual, or to the family, or to the society and nation, or will cause some harm to the International community. I often say: Haraam brings Harm, and if we take the double a in the transliteration of the word HARAAM, it brings double harm: HARM IN THIS WORLD AND HARM IN THE AAKHIRAH. All of these Divine prohibitions are only in our interest, for our well-being, safety and happiness. Appreciate Understand that there is wisdom in everything which Allah has prohibited.

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We find that Allah Taala has forbidden Riba (interest taking and giving), adultery, fornication, gambling, drinking and so forth. Now if we go deep into these prohibitions, we will see great harm. Look at the whole world today There is nothing but chaos. Look at what gambling does what drinking does and what adultery does. Therefore we are advised to remember death, because this remembrance of death is a deterrent and a barrier between us and sins. Death is most uncertain. We do not know where, when and how we are going to die. A young girl and boy were courting. They were parked in some secluded place. Both were shot dead.... When we just dont know, how can we take risks and chances? So many have left the world completely unprepared. My Shaykh has composed a couplet that spells out this reality, which we should repeatedly reflect over:

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May Allah Taala protect us and the entire Ummah from the different fitan 81 that are engulfing us, and keep us steadfast in Deen, and grant us all death on Imaan at a time when He is pleased with us. Aameen.

81

Fitan : plural of fitnah

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FROM THE ISLAAHI CORRESPONDENCE OF HAZRAT MAULANA YUNUS PATEL (RA)

Relating to the tertiary environment Question Respected Maulana, As-Salaamu alaykum wa-Rahmatullah Having brought up my daughters in a religious environment, I had instilled in them the beliefs and practices of Muslims. My eldest daughter, having completed school, applied to and was accepted by a college, some 700 miles away from home. Having given her good Islamic education, and trusting her on her intentions to study and qualify, arrangements were made for her board and lodge. In the few years that she has been away, we have visited her, but not frequently. I have been recently informed that my daughter is involved with a Christian boy and has just had a baby out of wedlock. And that her relationship is no secret. My feelings presently are feelings of anguish, hurt and betrayal; sometimes anger. As a father, I am trying very hard to come to terms with the situation but it is very difficult for me. Bringing up my daughters, I often thought of the joy I would have in having grandchildren, spending time with them and playing with them. However, there is no joy in my heart knowing that my grandchild has been born out of wedlock

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and is illegitimate, and knowing that this is the consequences of my own daughters immoral behaviour. I would like your guidance on how to deal with the situation, whether I should accept the child, what are the Shar`i rulings in respect to an illegitimate child, how do I respond to the behaviour of my daughter? And requesting duas.

Reply
Bismihi Taala Respected Brother in Islam, Wa-alaykumus Salaam wa-Rahmatullahi waBarakaatuhu
1.) Your emotions are the emotions of one who has Imaan. Imaan demands that we feel sad, grieved, hurt, betrayed, and even angry at open transgression against Allah Taala. Whilst your daughter is responsible for her actions and is accountable for her sins, unless she makes sincere taubah, the child is innocent. He did not commit any sin. The child is attributed to the mother and will inherit from the mother.

2.)

3.)

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4.)

The environment at the schools and colleges, even here in South Africa, is such, which destroys not only the morality and chastity of our children, but also destroys their Imaan. Besides the increase in adultery, homosexuality, atheism is also becoming more and more rife. Our hearts bleed that these are the sons and daughters of the Ummah of Nabi (1) that have become easy prey to the enemies of Islam. It is for this reason that the Scholars advocate for alternate means of acquiring knowledge homeschooling, and studying through correspondence, or attending an all-girls college, if the environment is not a threat to Imaan and Islam. Moreover, exposure to so much of Haraam leads many to then accepting Haraam as the norm of society, until the person then considers it acceptable to also engage in it. This is what is happening to the majority of Muslims young and old. May Allah Taala guide and protect. Talk to your daughter, explaining the grievous sin that she has committed. Encourage her to make sincere taubah. If the person in question is open to accepting Islam sincerely, and not for your daughter, then he should be explained the principles of Deen and encouraged to accept Islam and they can perhaps marry. If he is not interested in accepting Islam, then marriage will not be permissible with a non-Muslim.

5.)

6.)

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7.)

You are correct in your thinking, but should take greater precaution in respect to your children. If you can bring her back home, then do so. Try and introduce them to an environment of Deen and of Da`wah so that they can appreciate the beauty of Deen, as well as appreciate the restrictions and prohibitions found in Islam.

Was-Salaamu alaykum wa-Rahmatullahi wa-Barakaatuhu Yunus Patel (Maulana)

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The Influence of Television

By Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb ( )

of Hayaa shame and modesty : a quality which is sorely missing in the lives of the majority of Muslims today and which should otherwise be an outstanding chara cteristic and feature of all Muslims, whether married or un-married. The Hadith states : Hayaa is a branch of Imaan.

Television is such an evil that if our society only understood its reality, then they would find no excuse to watch. Its spiritual harm is that it takes away the hayaa and shame of our men, women and children. The content of most television programmes is nothing but immodesty and indecency, which invites nothing but immodesty and indecency into our homes, into our lives and the lives of our children. However, this truth and reality seems to just pass over the understanding of even those Muslims who have some link with Deen. Many are regular with Salaah, they are seen in the Masjid, they are wearing the garb of the pious and yet they will be the ones to present flimsy and feeble excuses to view television programmes.

82 83

Ambiyaa : Prophets Alaihimus Salaam : May peace be upon them.

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Let us consider this situation of sin from the following view which Alhamdulillah84, has been a means of many getting rid of the television.

If a person has to knock on your door and tell you : Or a group of some friends have to request you : Or a group of youngsters have to tell you :

Or a Christian family has to request you :

Or some idol-worshippers have to suggest :

Many Muslims, on hearing such requests, will get very angry; will express disgust if not swear and curse such suggestions. However, these very same Muslims, who will even resort to swearing and cursing such proposals, invite into their homes
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Alhamdulillah : All praise is due to Allah.

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all of the above by the switch of the television, by hiring English and Hindi films and DVDs and downloading porn and other films from the Internet. There is so much of adultery, partying and other filth that we seem to just welcome into our homes least realizing the consequences. Just to give you one example and this is but the tip of the iceberg and it is said with the intention of removing the blindfold that most parents wear : A father of four children mentioned to me that he had got rid of his television and he thereafter explained why. He said that late one night he heard strange noises from his childrens room. On opening the door of their room, he found their television switched on. [This is our concept of modesty : parents must have their own television, to view all kinds of filthy programmes in their privacy, and children must have their own television to view all kinds of indecency in their privacy (Na-uzu Billah).] The father mentioned that there were dirty and obscene scenes of naked people on the television screen. He mentioned that it was filthy and that it shocked him; but what had him even more shaken was that his children were all undressed, engaging in the same kind of indecent acts. They were imitating the pornography they were viewing. He said himself, that until then he had not considered the harm of television. It took this kind of incident to wake him up. This is

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just one example of so many. Do we wish to face something similar? Do we care to even know what our sons and daughters are doing in the secrecy of their rooms? The fact that many demand that no one invade their space and privacy to the extent of having No Entry signs on their doors, should have parents a little more than worried especially if they are viewing television and are surfing the net or have free access with cell phones. Many have written, that after watching certain films or programmes, the desire came strongly into their hearts to take drugs, drink liquor, murder their parents, indulge in homosexuality, engage in adulterous relationships, commit suicide, rape, and so much else and many of them do so. Moreover, with sins like television and evil, lustful glancing, Allah Taala removes the love between husband and wife, and even ones children become disobedient. There are many husbands who entertain thoughts of and fantasize of other women when with their wives, and they will, especially when they are watching different actresses and television presenters. Many wives are guilty of the same infidelity having seen or socialized with ghair-mahareem. Many women are so infatuated and obsessed with some soccer player or cricket player that they become dissatisfied with their husbands, and spend their time fantasizing.

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Had the person not viewed all those ghair-mahareem on the television screen and computer screen, and had lowered his gaze in real life situations, then he would not have desired that which he cannot have, and there would not have been dissatisfaction with his (or her) spouse. Moreover we complain :

and the list of complaints does not end. Then who is to blame except the one who brought all of this Haraam into the home by purchasing the television and exposing the family to so much of sin. Great Ulama became Bayt upon the hands of Maulana Hakeem Fakhrudeen ( ). He mentioned that there was a time, that with the rising and setting of the sun, he saw nothing but noor in Surat86. The atmosphere was one of Noor. The day commenced with Salaah, Tilawat, Zikrullah After the cinemas and television and videos flooded Surat, there was nothing but zulmat darkness. With the distraction of such entertainment, Ibaadah becomes a forgotten duty.

85 86

barkat : blessing Surat : Well-known city of Gujerat, India

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One Wali of Allah Taala, on visiting a home, mentioned that he perceived the sin of Zina (adultery) from the walls of that home. He was able to recognize this due to the purity of his heart. The residents of that home were not indulging in adultery but they were watching the sin on television. When fire burns against a white wall, it blackens the wall. The Ahle-Dil, with their purified hearts, see the fire of sins which has burnt and blackened the white hearts of the Muslims. Would that we take lesson and take measures to protect ourselves and our children Insha-Allah.

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