Chapter 4 DISCUSSION OF RESULTS This chapter presents, analyzes, and interprets the data gathered.

1. Age
18 and above 3% 11 and below 7%

16 to 17 20%

12 to 13 36%

14 to 15 34%

Figure 1: Age Figure 1 shows that out of 115 respondents, 8 or 7% are 11 years old and below, 41 or 36% ages from 12 years old to 13 years old, 39 or 34% are 14 to 15 years old, 23 or 20% are 16 to 17 years old, and 4 or 3% ages from 18 years old and above. The results reveal that most of the respondents are 12 to 17 years old.

2. Gender

Male 45% Female 55%

Figure 2: Gender Figure 2 shows that out of 115 respondents, 52 or 45% of the respondents are male and 63 or 55% are female. The results reveal that most of the respondents are female. 3. School

St. Paul QC 25%

Ateneo de Manila 59%

La Conscolacion College 8% Malayan Science HS 8%

Figure 3: School

This figure presents that out of 115 respondents, 57 or 50% studies in St. Paul University Quezon City, 18 or 16% in La Consolacion College Manila, 20 or 17% in Malayan Science High School, 20 or 17% also studies in Ateneo de Manila University. The results show that most of the respondents study in St. Paul University Quezon City, Ateneo de Manila University, and Malayan Science High School. 4. Year Level

4th Year 30%

1st Year 29%

3rd Year 18%

2nd Year 23%

Figure 4: Year Level Figure 4 presents that out of 115 respondents, 33 or 29% are in first year, 27 or 23% are in second year, 21 or 18% are in third year, and 34 or 30% are in fourth year. The results illustrate that most of the respondents are in fourth year, first year, and second year.

LEGEND:

5. Why did your parents separate?

A B C D E REASONS WHY PARENTS SEPARATE F 0% G 3% H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U 0% 11% 12% 3% 5% 5% 3% 3% 8% 7% 10% 3% 8% 9%

21%

18%

A - They have communication problems B - Either of my parents is physically abused C - Either of my parents is emotionally abused D - They have financial problems E - They lack time for each other F - Either or both of parent/s is/are sick G - Either/both of my parent/s is/are sexually dysfunctis interfering eional H - Either/both of my parent/s is/are unfaithful IJThey have different religions My parents priorities related to the family and their career changed Either/both of my parent/s is/are addicted to alcohol/drugs My dad/moms first family is interfering with our lives They have different careers Either/both of my parent/s is/are immature They have different nationalities Their in-laws interfered One of my parents left us My parents cant get along with each other due to their different/incompatible personalities My parents have different views in life My parents have different expectations of their marriage Others

17%

KLMN-

21% 22% 30%

OPQR-

10%

20% PERCENTAGE

30%

40%

STU-

Figure 5: Reasons why parents separate

Figure 5 shows that out of 115 respondents, 24 or 21% the reason for their parents separation is because of communication problems, 4 or 3% is because either of their parents is physically abused, 9 or 8% for either of their parents is emotionally abused, 10 or 9% is for financial problems, 21 or 18% for lack of time for each other, 0% for the parents are sick, 3 or 3% for their parent/s is/are sexually dysfunctional, 20 or 17% for unfaithfulness, 8 or 7% for having

different religions, 11 or 10% for their parents priorities related to the family and their career changed, 4 or 3% for parents addicted to drugs/alcohol, 6 or 5% is due to the first family interfering with their lives, 6 or 5% is because of difference in careers, 4 or 3% for immaturity, 4 or 3% is due to different nationalities, 9 or 8% for the in-laws interfering, 24 or 21% for one of the parents left, 25 or 22% is due to incompatible personalities, 34 or 30% is due to having different views in life, 13 or 11% for having different expectations of their marriage, and 14 or 12% for others such as, the father has a mistress, the parents are not married, the parents were too young when they had the child, they belong to the second family, and there who dont know the reason behind their parents separation. The results reveal that the most common reason why parents separate is because they have different views in life, they have incompatible personalities, one of the parents left, and they communication problems. Race affects marriage because different races mean different beliefs and traditions. One might not agree with ones beliefs especially on the ways of bringing up their child or children and this can sometimes result to separation. Marital discord may be attributed to economic factors, differences, religion, sex-factors, immaturity, and poor personality. Cruelty, desertion, and non-support are frequently listed grounds for divorce. Cruelty in marriage happens when a spouse who is most likely to be the husband, hurts his wife physically or emotionally. Desertion and non-support

happens when the husband leaves his family and does not give any support to them either financially or emotionally. In a monogamous society, the law states that marriage must be mutually exclusive arrangement between two parties. Communication problems may lead to divorce. Communication issues before marriage can get worse after getting married. Thus, it can cause separation. 6. How does the separation of your parents affect you?
I 18% II 17% III 15% IV 22% V 3% VI 14% VII 9% VIII 6% IX 3% X 2% XI 5% XII 23% XIII 12% XIV 7% XV 5% XVI 8% XVII 13% XVIII 15% XIX 7% XX 15% XXI 9% XXII 17% XXIII 9% XXIV 14% XXV XXVI 21% XXVII 23% XXVIII 15% XXIX 10% XXX 12% XXXI 4% XXXII 24% XXXIII 4% 0% 10%
LEGEND: I. II. III. IV. V. VI. VII. I feel guilty and/or betrayed I chose to be distant from my parents. I have low self-confidence I have difficulties in expressing myself. I sometimes have anxiety attacks I became responsible in spending my money I drink alcohol

VIII. I became more confident in expressing myself IX. X. XI. XII. I use drugs I became sexually active I became ill-mannered I became independent

EFS OF SEPARATION

XIII. I felt traumatized XIV. I became violent XV. I became confrontational to adults XVI. I became competent in school XVII. I became miserable XVIII. I am easily angered. XIX. I tend to isolate myself from other people like my close friends XX. I became rebellious XXI. I became vulnerable to bad influences

35%

XXII. It improved my ability to adapt to changes XXIII. I become emotionally distressed. XXIV. I feel powerless. XXV. I feel lonely. XXVI. I feel depressed. XXVII. I feel insecure about my own with other people

relationships XXVIII.

I feel obligated to take on the role of

my missing parent

20% PERCENTAGE

30%

40%

XXIX. I start having nightmares. XXX. I am more comfortable with my mom/dad XXXI. I stay away from my close friends. XXXII. XXXIII. I became mature. Others

Figure 6: Effects of the separation to the respondents

Figure 6 shows that out of the 115 respondents, 21 OR 18% of the respondents feel guilty and/or betrayed, 19 OR 17% chose to be distant from their parents, 17 or 15% have low self-confidence, 25 or 22% have difficulties in expressing their selves, 4 or 3% by sometimes have anxiety attacks, 16 or 14% became responsible in spending their money, 10 or 9% drink alcohol, 7 or 6% became more confident in expressing their selves, 3 or 3% use drugs, and 2 or 2% became sexually active, 6 or 5% became ill-mannered, 26 or 23% became independent, 14 or 12% felt traumatized, 8 or 7% became violent, 6 or 5% became confrontational to adults, 9 or 8% became competent in school, 15 or 13% became miserable, 17 or 15% are easily angered, 8 or 7% tend to isolate themselves from other people like their close friends, 17 or 15% became rebellious, 10 or 9% became vulnerable to bad influences, 20 or 17% said that the experience improved their ability to adapt to changes, 10 or 9% become emotionally distressed, 16 or 14% feel powerless, 40 or 35% feel lonely, 24 or 21% feel depressed, 26 or 23% feel insecure about their own relationships with other people, 17 or 15% feel obligated to take on the role of their missing parent, 12 or 10% started having nightmares, 14 or 12% are more comfortable with their mom/dad, 5 or 4% stay away from their close friends, 28 or 24% became mature, and 5 or 4% for others such as they are already satisfied with their parents separation and that they just want to live peacefully with their relatives. The results reveal that most of the respondents feel lonely, they became mature, they became independent, and they feel insecure about their relationship with other people.

Children of divorce may feel lonely. They might miss the absent parent while the other parent might be so wrapped up in his/her own problem that he/she forgets to take care of his/her child. Children who experiences divorce mature faster. They become more responsible especially when it comes to handling money. Single parents, especially moms, tend to lean on their children for support. This allows the children to become independent. This also brings the relationship between the child and the parent closer. Children react differently about the separation their parents depending on their age. Children who are 12 to 18 years old tend to be depressed, violent, judgmental, and insecure about their own relationship. 7. Do you want to be helped in coping with your parents separation?

43% 57%

YES NO

Figure 7: Wanted to be helped or not

Figure 7 presents that out of 115 respondents, 48 or 43% of the respondents wants to be helped and 67 or 57% does not. The results show that most of the respondents do not want to be helped in coping with their parents separation. If yes, how do you want to be helped?
LEGEND: A - I want support groups to help me B - I want to go through counseling C - I want to still keep in touch with my other parent D - My mom/dad could give me more chores to forget about our family issues E - My parents could make sure that one of them comes to a parent-child event in school F - My mom/dad should explain to me the reasons behind their separation G - My mom/dad should support me in everything I do
H - My mom/dad should answer my questions truthfully when I ask

A B WAYS ON HOW TO BE HELPED C D E F G H I J

5% 10% 17% 5% 10% 19% 14% 20% 3% 2% 0% 5% 10% 15% 20% 25%

PERCENTAGE

Figure 7.1: Ways on how to be helped

her/him about their separation.

I - I want to undergo therapy J - Others

Figure 7.1 shows that out of the 48 respondents who said yes, 6 or 5% of the respondents wants to be helped by having support groups, 12 or 10% by going through counseling, 20 or 17% by still keeping in touch with their other parent, 6 or 5% by being given more chores to forget about their family issues,

12 or 10% by making sure that one of the parents come to a parent-child activity in school, 22 or 19% by explaining the reason behind the separation, 16 or 14% by the parents supporting the children in everything they do, 23 or 20% by the parents answering the questions of their children truthfully, 4 or 3% by undergoing a therapy, and 2 or 2% for others, such as wanting to have peace and The results reveal that the respondents want to be helped by the parents truthfully answering their childrens questions regarding their separation; the parents should explain the reasons behind the separation, and by still keeping in touch with their other parent. The parent should not ignore his/her children when they ask questions for it makes the children feel that their feelings regarding the matter are of no importance. Also, the parent should not lie in answering the questions of the children for they may assume worse. The parents should be the one to initiate the conversation regarding divorce to their children. They should tell it carefully to the children for it may garner worse possible reactions from them. Some parents do not permit the child to visit the other parent because for them this is an act of punishment for their ex-husband/wife. A child should have regular contact with both parents. Thus, the parent who stays with the child should allow his/her child to visit the other parent. The pain that the child feels due to the absence of one parent is not worth the need of their revenge.