Communication
Communication
George Eliot
John Harvey-Jones
COMMUNICATION
Introduction
Effective communications both written and spoken, are vital in the business world
today as well as in our private lives. Effective communication is important because we
spend so much time at it, it is more difficult than we think to communicate effectively,
and because it is very easy for mistakes and misunderstandings to arise.
Communication is, in reality, a tool. Used effectively, it provides the ability to transfer
information CLEARLY, CONCISELY and COMPLETELY.
It can be described in a number of ways:
• The process of transferring a selected bit of information from a source to a
destination.
• The transmission of ideas and sentiments, between two or more people, which
contributes to the attainment of organisational goals.
• Who says what, in what channel, to whom and with what effect.
• Ensuring understanding.
• “A generally predictable, continuous, and always-present process of sharing of
meaning through “symbolic” interaction”.
Elements Defined
Arc Of Distortion
Feedback
3. Volunteer feedback
After the receiver has made some
response the sender could say “Just to
make sure I understand you, let me
summarise”.
The special skills of giving and receiving performance feedback to others are
explained on pages 17 and 21.
BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATION
Defensiveness
The insecurity of an individual may distort questions into accusations and his replies into
justifications.
Relationships
When we are attempting to communicate with another person we are giving out two
kinds of messages at the same time, content and relationship. The other person may be
so concerned with hearing about the latter that the content is lost or seriously distorted.
Status
This is sometimes the most difficult condition to overcome in communication, since it
may encompass most of the elements discussed above.
An individual in a position of high status may find communication difficult with most
of the people with whom he/she must interact, since his/her perceived power
differentially affects various individuals. One person may be preoccupied with
impressing the source of power, while another may be defensive, feeling that his/her
job, or perhaps his/her own status is threatened by the powerful individual. In
addition, any high-status individual must deal with the hostility of the envious, the
stereotyping of the power-worshipper, the past experiences with other high status
individuals (parent, teacher, doctor) that people may be generalising from and the
emotional elements generated by all of these conditions.
LISTENING
Listening
The one function most critical to the communication process is the art (and it is an art)
of listening. When the receiver is not listening effectively, then feedback is the weak
link in the process.
All the studies seeking to measure the proportion of our communicative activity
devoted to listening agree that this is an important segment. In fact, most of these
studies put listening at the top of the list - ahead of speaking or reading or writing. A
study conducted at Ohio State University found that of all our total communicative
time nearly half is devoted to listening, nearly a third to speaking, much less to reading
and still less to writing.
Listening tops the list as the most important quantitative factor of our
communication activities.
1. One of the most important causes of poor listening has already been mentioned:
failure to remember that communicating is a two-way process, requiring careful
listening as well as speaking. Most of us like to talk too much.
2. Poor listening may also result from the barrier of the low rating of the other
person. We sometimes do not give an associate a fair chance to demonstrate
intelligence or ability. We condemn him for things wholly unrelated to his
message.
3. A third listening problem results when a person fakes attention. Here he is really
not listening at all but simply pretending to listen. He may nod his head in the
right places or smile but he really never hears what is being said. The person is
preoccupied.
4. The fourth problem affecting listening is the temptation to evade what is difficult
or unwelcome. People are sorely tempted to listen only to what they want to hear
and forget everything else. This is an attractive form of self-deception and most of
us are guilty of it at times.
5. A fifth problem that may hinder efficient listening is the emotional state of the
listener. Even in our most rational moments, we cannot escape the influence of our
emotions. At one time we are angry; at another we are happy and joyous.
6. A sixth listening trap into which we frequently fall is that of impatience. We hear
part of what the sender has to say and jump to conclusions about the rest. Our
listening is incomplete. Incomplete listening is bad business.
Separate your like or dislike of the speaker from the content of what he is saying
If you do not make a conscious effort to do this, your emotional attitude may distort
your interpretation of his words.
Make notes at the end of the meeting so that you have a record
This should be done if there was no opportunity to take notes during the meeting.
Notes taken at the end of the meeting, while the points are still fresh in your mind, will
be useful reminder of what went on.
Make sure you know what you want to achieve when the meeting is over
If you do know this you may not get all you could have out of the meeting. For
example, you may not ask the meeting to give information needed to perform future
tasks.
Conclusion
Many of us miss important bits of information in talks and meetings because we are
not good listeners. Observation and practice of the points listed here should improve
your effectiveness as a listener.
COMMUNICATION TOOLS
• 2 eyes to look
• 2 ears to listen
• 1 mouth to respond, to state
2: 2: 1:
ACTIVE LISTENING
DO’S AND DON’TS
Do:
ACTIVE LISTENING
DO’S AND DON’TS
Don’t:
•Give advice
•Judge
•Interrupt
•Finish off other people’s sentences
•Yes, but..
•Fake attention
•Let negative feelings and emotions/dislikes get in the way
•Focus on yourself
•Minimise
•Evade what is difficult or unwelcome
•Be impatient!
•Distract the other
Giving feedback on performance, both praise and criticism, is an integral part of every
manager's job, but it is also an activity which makes many managers uncomfortable.
Common concerns are:
Receiving criticism from your team, your colleagues or your own manager can also be
a stressful experience. The problems associated with giving and receiving feedback
cause some managers to avoid feedback wherever possible; other managers will give
up any pretensions to tact and diplomacy and give feedback which is too direct and
unprepared. In both cases the performance of the unit will suffer as a result.
• give constructive criticism so that you can help your staff and colleagues to
improve their performance in a way which avoids making them defensive
• give constructive praise so that you can encourage your staff to continue
performing well and build their confidence
• use feedback - both praise and criticism - to motivate your staff
• receive criticism yourself in a way which is constructive and professional, so that
you too can continue to develop and grow.
Focusing on behaviour is the key to giving good feedback, but many managers find
this much easier in theory than in practice. A definition of behaviour is
or
Suppose you are responsible for helping your staff to improve their customer service,
and you observe one of your clerks behaving inappropriately to a customer. Examples
of interpretation are
The problem with interpretative feedback is that it often triggers a defensive reaction -
it makes people angry or sullen. When people are defensive they put all their energy
into counter-attacks and excuses, rather than listening with an open mind to ways in
which they could improve.
Focusing on behaviour makes the feedback easier to accept. You could say to the
clerk: 'Do you remember when you were talking to that customer? I noticed that you
Vocal and visual behaviour together are also described as 'non-verbal behaviour'
(everything except the words). Research shows that non-verbal behaviour carries
more meaning than verbal behaviour. For example, the clerk may use the right words
('Can I help you?') but if he doesn't look at the customer while he speaks, the message
conveyed is that he will be unhelpful, not helpful. If we have to choose between
basing our interpretation on the verbal behaviour or the non-verbal behaviour, we tend
intuitively to trust the non-verbal signals in preference to the words. Skilled
managers are therefore used to describing behaviour in both verbal and non-verbal
terms. The examples 1, 2 and 3 above are all of non-verbal behaviour which could
have a negative effect on the customer.
Another reason for preferring feedback based on observable behaviour rather than
interpretation is that our interpretations may be incorrect. A team member may make
mistakes for legitimate reasons of which we are unaware. Take the case of the
receptionist who stayed late to type up a report, but made a lot of errors because she
was under time pressure. In the absence of instructions from her manager, she decided
that she would be more helpful by making a tidy draft which contained errors but was
legible than by typing only a few pages accurately. Next morning she found the report
back on her desk with a comment from her boss scribbled in thick black ink: 'Irma
this is careless work - 32 mistakes!' We can analyse the feedback given to her by her
manager with the following model:
Thoughts
"This was careless "You made 34 mistakes".
work!"
The receptionist was not upset by the comment '34 mistakes' because she
acknowledged that was true. She was much more hurt by the interpretative comment
'careless work' because it implied a lack of commitment on her part, and because the
truth was that she'd sacrificed some of her personal time in order to stay late and help.
She felt her efforts had not been appreciated by her manager, and shortly afterwards
she handed in her resignation.
When managers make comments based on interpretation ('careless work') they are
acting as though they can read the minds of their staff. Many of us recognise how
difficult it is to read the inner thoughts of friends and family whom we know very well;
it's all the more difficult to make consistently accurate interpretations of the thoughts
and feelings of staff and colleagues whom we meet only at work. Managers are not
mind-readers. The comment 'careless work' may have been an opportunity for the
manager to express his irritation, but his lack of reflection and self control lost him a
valuable member of staff. Observations of behaviour are fairer and more effective
than judgmental comments..
Once you have collected some specific examples of behaviour you can proceed to the
next steps in the preparation phase.
1. Preparation
Collect examples of both good behaviour (up to or above standard) and bad behaviour
(below standard).
Select the examples which will best help the person to improve. Don't flood the
person with criticism - choose about three examples to work on. Make sure you have
a reasonable balance of criticism and praise.
Prepare the supporting arguments and reasons to explain why a piece of work should
be done in a certain way. Adults like to understand the reasons why something is right
or wrong.
Check whether the person was aware of the standards before he or she started the piece
of work. In the example of the clerk who was behaving in an inappropriate manner,
for instance, one possible reason for his behaviour is that he hadn't been properly
trained in the first place. If you discover a great many errors - in a report for example -
you may need to review your own delegation style. Did you brief the person
thoroughly? Often poor performance in staff can be traced back to poor management..
Set your objectives for the feedback. What do you want the person to do after the
meeting?
Start by helping the person to settle down and relax. You have to use your judgement
here: if you only intend to have a short discussion then a friendly sentence or two is
enough. If the meeting will be longer then you may want to get a cup of coffee.
Tell the person what you want to discuss, and explain the purpose of the meeting.
Give the person the examples of behaviour. Think about whether you want to start
with the praise or the criticism. Some people like to start with the criticism and then
move on to the praise; others prefer some praise before hearing the criticism. The
important point to remember is that your staff must hear both the praise (so they can
consolidate good performance and build self-esteem) and the criticism (so they can
develop and improve). On our courses we have found that about half the participants
like to hear some praise first, and the other half prefer to begin with criticism. The
easiest approach is simply to ask your staff member which sequence he or she prefers.
You may want to link your examples of behaviour with the rationale and the reasons
why you consider these examples of performance to be above or below standard.
Another approach is to help the person think through the effect of certain kinds of
behaviour. You could ask the clerk 'How do you think the customer feels if you
interrupt him halfway through his sentence?' (As you get onto sensitive ground like
this, remember the impact of your non-verbal behaviour - check that you talk patiently
and calmly, with no hint of sarcasm!)
The next key step is to get the person to acknowledge the validity of your examples:
ask "Do you agree with this?" Unless the person agrees, he or she will not take the
praise and/or criticism seriously. Many managers omit this step and fail to achieve
their objective for the meeting.
Once you have secured agreement, you can discuss options for improvement. Ideally
you would ask the other person to suggest possible actions. Most adults welcome the
opportunity to demonstrate that they have understood why something was wrong, and
to prove that they can now rectify the situation themselves. If you ask the other person
for suggestions you also show that you trust him or her, and the staff member will feel
personal responsibility for completing the action points agreed.
Occasionally the person may feel stuck for ideas, in which case you can make some
suggestions yourself. Check that the reasons for your criticism have been fully
understood - the staff member may need more coaching from you at a later stage.
Finally, invite the other person to summarise conclusions and action points, so you can
both check that all the points raised have been fully understood and agreed. Agree
how you will organise any follow-up, and make any notes for yourself as a record or
reminder. If the meeting has been constructive, you might want to end on a positive
note by thanking the other person for instance for his or her co-operation and by
expressing your confidence in his or her performance for the future.
Receiving criticism
Apply the same principles in reverse if you are receiving criticism, following these
steps.
Listen through to the end. All feedback contains information, even personal attacks.
Grit your teeth and stay silent. You may find it helpful in an appraisal to take notes -
it slows you down and prevents you leaping to a counter-attack or withdrawing.
Don't argue - summarise to show you have listened. Your summary is not necessarily
an indication of agreement, but it is an indication of your professionalism and your
ability to take criticism without reacting defensively. Check you have understood the
criticism correctly.
If the criticism has been framed as interpretation and judgement (e.g. 'You've got the
wrong attitude') you need to persuade the person to translate the interpretation into
specific examples and to give you a more balanced description of your behaviour. Ask
questions such as;
A calm, professional approach will often trigger a more reasonable response in the
person who is criticising you. With a frustrated customer or staff member, for
instance, you may need simply to demonstrate a willingness to listen and to rectify
mistakes.
Now take time to pause and reflect. How much of the criticism do you agree with?
How do you want to react? You can indicate the points which, on reflection, seem
valid to you, and also highlight those you disagree with, together with your reasons. If
the criticism is serious you may want to ask for more time to think about the
implications.
Your next step is to sort out options, trying out some suggestions yourself and perhaps
asking for constructive ideas from the other person
When you agree on a possible way forward, summarise action points and follow-up.
A professional close would be to thank the person for the feedback - after all,
managers who are surrounded by 'yes men and women' get no opportunity to build an
honest, open climate and to learn to improve themselves.