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Writing Task 1 - 17 X.Bekzod

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17 views4 pages

Writing Task 1 - 17 X.Bekzod

Uploaded by

halilovbekzod1802
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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The table provides data about five distinct modes of transportation registered in

Australia with 2-year intervals from 2010 to 2014.


Overall, it is clear that the numbers for all types of vehicles increased and while
the highest rate of change was seen in Motorcycles, the reverse was true for
Heavy trucks. It is worth noting that the figures for passenger vehicles were
dominant in all the given periods, whereas the quantities for light trucks were
the smallest.
Starting with the categories whose numbers were the largest, in 2010, just
under 12 million passenger vehicles were constituted in Australia. Following 2
years, this figure rose by 0.9 million units and peaked at 13 million in 2014,
resulting in a change of 10.2% from 2010 to 2014. Meanwhile, initially,
commercial vehicles were comprised of 2.3 million and experienced an increase
of 0.3 million in the next 2 years. In the final year, this amount exhibited a slight
growth of 100,000, making an overall 17.4% alteration from beginning to end.
As for the remaining 3 groups, in the initial year, 540,000 motorcycles were
registered in Australia. By 2014, this figure displayed a sharp increase of
169,000, showing a 30.8% change. Placing 4th rank, in 2010, heavy trucks
constituted just below 0.4 million and witnessed the least growth of 8.3%, going
from 384,000 up to 416,000 in 2014. Finally, with the 23.5% rise, the number of
light trucks in Australia lifted from a mere 0.1 million up to 131,000 in 2014.
FEEDBACK
No particular mistakes. GOOD JOB!

SCORE BREAKDOWN

1. **Task Achievement (7/9)**:


- You adequately describe the data and trends in the table.
- You provide a clear overview of the data, mentioning the increase in all types
of vehicles and the highest and lowest rates of change.
- However, there could be more specific detail in some areas, especially when
discussing the remaining three groups.

2. **Coherence and Cohesion (7/9)**:


- Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs.
- There is a logical flow in your essay.
- However, the transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother,
and some sentences are a bit long and complex.

3. **Lexical Resource (7/9)**:


- Your vocabulary is generally appropriate and varied.
- You use some descriptive language, such as "sharp increase" and "slight
growth," which is good.
- However, there is room for more precise and varied vocabulary.
4. **Grammatical Range and Accuracy (7/9)**:
- Your essay contains some complex sentence structures, which is positive.
- There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings in the essay,
such as "exhibited a slight growth of 100,000," which could be improved for
clarity.

Overall, your essay is well-organized and effectively conveys the key points
about the data. To improve your score, focus on using more varied vocabulary
and refining sentence structures for clarity. Additionally, be careful with minor
grammatical errors. Your essay currently scores a 28 out of 36, which is a
reasonably strong performance but with room for enhancement.

REWRITTEN
The provided table contains data regarding five distinct modes of transportation
that were registered in Australia at two-year intervals between 2010 and 2014.

In summary, it is evident that the numbers of all vehicle types increased during
this period. Notably, while motorcycles experienced the highest rate of growth,
heavy trucks showed the opposite trend. It's worth highlighting that passenger
vehicles consistently held the dominant position in terms of quantity, whereas
light trucks consistently had the smallest numbers.

Starting with the categories boasting the highest numbers, in 2010, Australia
had just under 12 million registered passenger vehicles. Over the following two
years, this number increased by 0.9 million units and reached a peak of 13
million in 2014, resulting in a 10.2% change from 2010 to 2014. On the other
hand, commercial vehicles initially numbered 2.3 million and saw an increase of
0.3 million over the next two years. In the final year, this category exhibited a
slight growth of 100,000 units, resulting in an overall 17.4% change from the
beginning to the end of the period.

Regarding the remaining three groups, in the initial year (2010), there were
540,000 registered motorcycles in Australia. By 2014, this figure had sharply
increased by 169,000 units, representing a 30.8% change. Heavy trucks, ranking
fourth in terms of numbers, accounted for just under 0.4 million in 2010 and
experienced the least growth, at 8.3%, going from 384,000 in 2010 to 416,000 in
2014. Finally, with a notable 23.5% rise, the number of light trucks in Australia
increased from a mere 0.1 million to 131,000 in 2014.

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