FREE GUIDE

BEYOND
BLISS
ACTIVATING YOUR EROGENOUS
ZONES & ORGASMIC CENTERS

BY KIANA REEVES
CERTIFIED SOMATIC SEX EDUCATOR
TEACHER OF INTIMACY & EMBODIMENT
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kiana Reeves
For over a decade Kiana has been working at the
intersection of sex, embodiment, intimacy, pleasure,
birth, and wellbeing. Her work is a holistic & somatic
approach to the emotional, biological, personal,
ancestral, and spiritual nature of sex & intimacy.

She is a Certified Somatic Sex Educator & Sexological

Bodyworker, Embodiment and Intimacy Coach,
Certified STREAM Pelvic Health Practitioner, Full
Spectrum Doula, Mother of two delightful humans &
creator of The Rose Map Online Course.

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GREAT SEX CAN BE LIFE CHANGING

Think about the best sex you’ve ever had.

For real, close your eyes right now and let the moment
come to life. Imagine the room you were in, how it
smelled, what it tasted like as if you were there right
now.

Try to remember all the details.

Remember how your body came alive, how much

desire was moving through you, how connected you
were.

How fully alive, in the moment, embodied you were.

Sex like this can change your life.

When we know how to be a conduit for the immense

power of our sexual energy it can open up a world of
connection, pleasure, intimacy, and aliveness that we
didn’t even know was possible.

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MOST PEOPLE DON’T KNOW
HOW TO GET THERE
The problem is we weren’t taught how to get there. Or to
be more specific, we weren’t taught how to access these
places within our bodies, let alone our partnerships. Lack of
education coupled with social, familial, and cultural shame
and lack of experience lead us into sex lives that are often
described as “fine”...

“Fine” meaning they are habitual, unsatisfying, and often

non-existent. This is true whether you have a partner or not,
because your PRIMARY sexual relationship is with
yourself.

People often come to me asking where they should start.

They feel disconnected, or they know they want “more” but
they aren’t sure what “more” looks like.

Some people want to experience more sexual pleasure,

some people want to learn how to orgasm (or have multiple
orgasms). Others are trying to connect with their libido and
desire. Some people are looking for something but they
don’t know how to describe it. They all know more is
possible in their sex life, but they’re not sure where to start.

There is one place to start for everyone, no matter what you

are working on. And it is WITH the body.

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THE BODY IS YOUR GUIDE
Your body is so wise and dynamic. It’s wired with sensory systems
like your nervous system and your fascia. These systems are
designed to keep you safe, and tell you how to respond to the
world, they govern your perception of threat and sense of
connection, belonging, and safety. All of these signals are
crucial in sexual moments when we want our bodies to relax and
open.

Our bodies access the entire world through our senses.

Touch is a primary way we navigate the world and nerve endings
distributed throughout our entire body give us the ability to feel
immense pleasure from the lightest touch. Touch is an excellent
way to help the body feel safe enough to relax and open, paving
the way for the highest states of arousal and pleasure.

What does all this have to do with erogenous zones and

orgasmic centers?

Everything.

The body is the vehicle through which your sexuality is accessed

and experienced. Learning how to fully activate and arouse your
body through your erogenous zones & orgasmic centers allows
so much more access to sexual pleasure.

Knowing your body this way also gives your partner (current or
future) a much clearer road map to what feels best for you,
because no two bodies are alike!

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HOW PLEASURE WORKS
Let’s start with some basics about how pleasure works.

Pleasure is available to us only when we are ‘in the

moment’, fully immersed in our sensations.

Yet all too often our sexual experiences are goal-oriented,

too fast, and don’t follow a female-centric path of arousal.

On average it takes the female body 25-40 minutes to

reach full arousal, full arousal for the male body as an
equivalent would be how long it takes their penis to
become fully erect. You can see why activation of arousal
becomes so important, particularly in heterosexual
dynamics, because the time difference in which partners
are reaching peak arousal is about 25-30 minutes
different. This means we NEED to follow female-centric
arousal paths for both partners to experience truly ecstatic
mutual pleasure.

Often, sexual experiences are hyper-focused on the

genitals and we miss out on ways the rest of our body
can amplify our sexual pleasure and contribute to
arousal. How touch on our face, neck, breasts, thighs, and
hips can build anticipation and often stir arousal in us just
as much as direct genital touch. Anticipation is key when it
comes to heightened sexual pleasure.

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EXPLORING YOUR EROGENOUS ZONES

Erogenous zones are areas of the body that are particularly

sensitive to touch. When we work with these areas, we’re
priming the body to relax, soften, open, and receive. As you
start to work with the erogenous zones, try spreading
pleasure from one area of the body to another.

For example, bringing pleasure to the breasts and

spreading that sensation with your hands into the hips. That
way we’re developing positive associations in our “pleasure
pathways” that begin to associate different parts of our
body with more turn-on.

When pleasure is peaking in multiple parts of the body, we

are more likely to experience full-body orgasms. A pleasure
that isn’t just centralized in the genitals, but everywhere -
all at once.

Erogenous zones have lots of nerve endings and can elicit

sexual arousal or pleasure when touched the right way. The
intensity of sensation in these zones can vary from person
to person, and what feels pleasurable can depend on
individual preferences.

The list below includes some of the most well-known

erogenous zones, along with areas that are highly
pleasurable and often overlooked.

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BEYOND BLISS

Lips & Mouth

The lips are full of nerve endings. That is one reason why kissing feels
SO good, and why you can brush something against your lips and feel
every nuance in the shape. Lips are an amazing sensory organ, and
they love variety. Kissing and gentle stimulation of the lips with fingers,
or other body parts can be highly arousing. The lips are sensitive to
temperature and texture, so when approaching the lips use variety in
your touch to see what feels best. You can start with one finger and
see how tracing feels, and then begin with hands, lips, other body
parts, and other objects to see how they feel.

Neck
The neck is a highly sensitive area, it also happens to give great
access to our vagus nerve. The vagus nerve runs down either side of
the neck and is a key player in nervous system regulation. Gentle
stroking along the sides of the neck can be a wonderful way to help
someone relax. The neck has a wide range of possibilities when it
comes to sensation, exploring everything from tickling, licking, and
gentle kisses to more firm pressure and if you’re someone who loves
to feel dominated choking or firm pressure can feel extremely good.
Word of caution if you are exploring choking as a form of sexual
play, avoid putting too much pressure - especially at the front of the
neck where the esophagus is, and focus your pressure on the sides
with a nice even grip. I’m also a fan of hickeys, not necessarily for
the marks they leave, but for the strong sucking sensation.

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BEYOND BLISS

Breasts
Many people start right at the nipples when they go to the
breasts not realizing how much sensation and pleasure is
available in the outer breasts. In general beginning with the
outer breasts and working your way in is a good practice. Firm
yet gentle pressure, squeezing, licking, and sucking all tend to be
great places to explore. Some people might find pinching of the
nipples pleasurable, others might hate it. The good news is you
can always ask first and find out in real time what works for you.

Ears
The ears and earlobes can be sensitive to touch, kissing,
licking, and sucking. Some people like their ears to be bitten or
nibbled, others like it when a tongue runs around the outer rim
of the ear or traces the opening. If you are exploring on your
own you can use your fingers to find different types of
pressure that feel good to your ears. If you’re with a partner
incorporating sounds can be very arousing; you can try
moaning, heavy breathing, desire-filled grunts, erotic praise, or
dirty talk as some fun places to start.

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BEYOND BLISS

Inner Thighs
The inner thighs can be an immense source of pleasure and are
often overlooked or forgotten in foreplay. You can stay focused
on the inner thighs for hours and keep reaching new heights of
pleasure and sensation. This area of the body has a wide range
of touch that it responds to, you can try starting soft and gentle
with long brushing strokes, and then experiment with jiggling,
squishing, massaging, tickling, biting, licking, sucking, and (for
some) pinching the inner thighs.

Feet
Some people find that the feet, especially the soles, are
sensitive and can be pleasurable when touched. Others don’t
want anyone near their feet, the good news is you can explore
and find out what works for you! If you find you do like your
feet being touched, beyond massage many people find having
their toes licked or touched lightly to be extremely
pleasurable. If you're someone whose partner gets turned on
by feet, try bringing them into your sexual play more, you can
gently stroke your partner's inner thigh with them, or run them
along the back of their legs when you are tangled up together.

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BEYOND BLISS

Butt
The booty is in a class of its own. Typically when we talk about
butts sexually we’re either talking about how someone's butt
looks, or anal play. But here, I want to talk about the buns, the
cheeks, the juicy and plump fleshy part of our bum that likes the
be massaged, squeezed, spanked, jigggled, and rubbed. There
are so many ways to activate your booty, from shaking &
squeezing to biting and nuzzling. See what happens when you
worship this part of the body for more than 10 minutes straight,
with no agenda.

Scalp
I don’t know one person who doesn’t LOVE getting their scalp
massaged. This is a great place to start on the body when you
know you or your partner need to relax but you’re not quite in
the mood yet. Try stroking, scratching, and massaging with
your fingertips at varying pressure until they start to melt and
moan.

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BEYOND BLISS

Hips & Belly

The hips and lower belly are another highly sensitive part of the
body, and because they are part of your lower body and close to
your genitals touching these areas can be highly sexually
arousing.

The hips, particularly the bony ridge of your ASIS (anterior

superior iliac spine - aka your hip bones) are a great place to
explore pressure. Some people like their hips being squeezed in
from the outside, others like firm pressure with cupped hands
right on top of the ASIS bones, and some prefer very gentle
cupping and warmth from the hands over these bones.

The area of the belly between their bones is a great place to

bring warm hands and sweeping motions, Light tracings with
your fingertips or a mouth is a good place to start, noting where
sensation intensifies or changes as you get closer to the pubic
bone. When activating this area try broad, warm-handed
sweeping circular strokes.

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BEYOND BLISS

Gential Area
The genitals are so highly associated with sexual arousal, and it’s
usually the place people start to touch immediately when they
are getting turned on. That is why I have them last on this list.

Starting at the outer extremities and working your way in is a

good way to build arousal and the capacity to hold erotic
charge in the body without jumping straight into your habitual
ways of touching the genitals. Most people learn to masturbate
at a young age and that greatly impacts their sexual habits and
their endurance.

When approaching the genitals from the perspective of erotic

exploration, try to touch them as if you have never touched them
before. Go slowly, start with full hands cupping the vulva or
penis, and notice the blood moving and pulsing in them before
actively trying to stimulate them in any way.

Explore light brushing with fingertips, rolling the tissue between

your fingers, light tapping, and any other type of touch that you
might get the urge to explore. The idea here is to come with full
curiosity and no goal.

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 BONUS

ORGASMIC
CENTERS
THIS LIST IS SPECIFIC TO THE FEMALE BODY. THERE
ARE AREAS ON THIS LIST THAT ARE INTRAVAGINAL,
AS WELL AS EXTERNAL SWEET SPOTS.
ORGASMIC CENTERS
Cervix: The cervical orgasm is often described as the holy grail of
orgasms. It originates from the deepest part of your vagina, and
because it is connected to your womb (the cervix is the end of your
uterus) a cervical orgasm can feel like it's coming from the center of
your body. Cervical orgasms require a huge amount of relaxation, trust,
and openness in the body. They cannot be rushed or forced, they are
truly an experience of full surrender. They also happen when you are in
very peak states of arousal, and are much more likely to occur after you
have already had one or two orgasms.

Anus: The anus is wired with a ton of nerve endings. Both around the
opening of the anus (the anal sphincter - of which there are 2 layered
right on top of each other) and internally. The sphincters play a big role
in how much pleasure you will be able to access. The internal anal
sphincter cannot and should not be forced open, it is governed by your
ANS (autonomic nervous system) and directly reflects how relaxed and
at ease you feel. The internal anal sphincter will open when it is ready,
and until then there is plenty of pleasure to be had. With plenty of lube,
use the pad of your fingertip to explore gentle circles, light tapping or
pulsing, or holding still with pressure.

Breasts: The breasts and the womb are very connected. When you give
birth and breastfeed, the sucking stimulates uterine contractions. If you
are trying to encourage labor you can also use nipple stimulation to
support contractions. For this reason, the breasts can support other
types of orgasms, or be an orgasmic center of their own. When
activating the breasts don’t go straight for the nipple, work your way in
by spending a lot of time building anticipation around the outside of
the breasts. Once you reach the nipples explore a range of pressure,
flicking, licking, biting, sucking, and twisting can all be doorways to
exquisite pleasure or a sense of repulsion depending on your body - so
trust the exploration and see what you find.

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ORGASMIC CENTERS

Clitoris: The most common type of orgasm for women, and often
the easiest to access is the clitoral orgasm. 80% of women do
not orgasm from penetration alone, which means clitoral
stimulation is often essential if you want to experience climax
during penetrative sex. One thing that isn’t talked about often
with these stats though is that the clitoris is amazing at
supporting other parts of the body to experience orgasm. For
example, you might find it easier to have a G-Spot orgasm in
combination with your clitoris, than having a G-spot orgasm by
itself. That is because the clitoris is part of an intricate network
of erectile tissue that is connected to the g-spot (urethral
sponge) and other parts of your erectile network. So my word of
advice is, to incorporate your whenever you want to stoke your
arousal and bring your pleasure to the next level. Lastly, clitoral
orgasms are typically the first kind of orgasm that happen when
we become aroused. Think of the clitoral orgasm as the gateway
to other types of orgasms.

K-Spot: The K-spot is located on the floor of the vagina, about

2-3 inches inside, and often just to the right of the rectum. You
might not be able to experience pleasure from the K-spot
initially, but with a gentle touch and attention the nerve endings
often wake up and you’ll begin to feel more and more sensation
in this area. Try super slow gentle strokes or circles with the well-
lubricated pad of your finger to start.

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ORGASMIC CENTERS

G-Spot/ Urethral Sponge: The G-spot or urethral sponge sits

about an inch inside the roof of of the vagina. Depending on
how your body is wired and your past experiences, you might
have very sensitive g-spot tissue or it might be a little numb. If
you want to expand the pleasure you experience in your g-spot
working with stillness and very well-lubricated subtle movement
is a good place to start. See if you can begin to notice more
sensations come online as you bring your full awareness of this
part of your body.

A-ZONE: The A-zone or AFE zone is an orgasmic center that sits

further in the vagina behind the g-spot. This area often feels soft
and bouncy if you touch it with your fingers. Deep intravaginal
stimulation usually feels best once you’re very aroused, so I don’t
recommend exploring this area unless you are actively turned on.
Once you do start exploring start with 1-2 fingers and with
varying pressure or stroking motions see how your AFE zone likes
to be touched. The more variation, the more insight you will have
on what feels best for you.

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THANK YOU FOR EXPLORING WITH ME.

Remember, no two bodies are

built the same. The only expert
there will ever be on your body
is you, so if you want to
experience more sexual
pleasure it’s a good idea to
become your own expert.

P.S. If you’re looking for

guided hands-on exploration
and more in-depth discovery
of all the pleasure that is
possible, you can enroll in my
course The Rose Map.

A four-week hands-on
exploration of your anatomy,
expanding your pleasure, and
nurturing your sexual
relationship with yourself.

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