11-Article Text-19-1-10-20200801
11-Article Text-19-1-10-20200801
11-Article Text-19-1-10-20200801
ABSTRACT ARTICLE
INFORMATION
This paper discusses the role of husband and wife in child care from Keywords:
Islamic perspective. This study uses qualitative methods and data
Husband, Wife,
was gathered through observation, in-depth interviews, and written
Childcare, Islamic law
material. Data analysis was analyzed using grounded theory
approach. The results show that parenting activities in the village of
Tinggede are not only about rising children, but also about
educating, guiding, and protecting children from childhood to
adulthood in accordance with Islamic values, norms and culture.
The parents expect their children can grow and develop naturally,
harmony, and balance based on Islamic teaching. Parenting in
Islamic law (hadhanah) is a responsibility of both parents who must
get special attention from their parents in particular during
childhood period. The authors conclude that parents should
accompany their children with Islamic values and norms to
inculcate religious behavior of their children.
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Unlike a mother, a father plays role husband where his wife and progenies
as a leader in his family. He plays as a could learn faith from.
role model for his children. Due to this A husband in carrying out his
important role, a father will be called a role in his family while he cannot
good role model for his children. provide adequate living for members of
A living is a treasure spent by a family (his wife and children), a wife
husband for his wife and children in the could work for supporting her family.
form of food, clothes, shelter and other However, wives who work could
things. Being a father is a pride of every potentially cause problems of
man and because of this he is a priceless disharmony in a family. Many cases
gift to his family. where wives have to work today
The division of roles between because their husbands could not carry
men and women or husband and wife out their duties properly. In this context,
according to the conventional view, is wives in their working career could not
divided into two areas. Private area, take care of their household
which includes households, kitchen appropriately as they have to work at
matters is fully left to women. While the same time. As a result, burden on
public zone consists of offices, political these types wives increases.
spheres, village deliberations, trade, In Islam, duties of a husband and
agriculture, and others become men's a wife do not only revolve around
responsibility. Men are expected to be providing protection, food and clothing,
foundation for a family in making a but they are also responsible for
living. On the other hand, women are providing emotional protection and
considered as male supporters who play safety from negative influences. Basic
an important role in household affairs. education provided by husband and
Even though this role division has not wife, especially good religious
yet reached peak of equality, it is at least teachings, is very important to avoid
regarded as a form of balance between unwanted symptoms, because family
duties of men and women.7 environment plays an important role in
A husband is a priest for his wife, inculcating good character for their
a head of a family, and a head of school children.
for his children. Hence, a competent Household as a formation of a
husband is obliged to provide religious family should be fostered by a wise
guidance to his wife which allows for husband. However, a degree of
his wife’s faith to improve. As a leadership of a husband over his wife is
husband is a role model for his wife and not only a degree of glory. Rather, it is a
children he is expected to be ideal degree of responsibility in his family.
2. Literature Review
2.1 Parenting Children in Islam
7 Abdul Monir Yacoob dan Siti
Shamsiah, Hukum Keluarga Islam (Jakarta: According to Ahmad Tafsir,
Kencana, 2006), 23. parenting means education, while
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15
Singgih D. Gunasa, Psikologi
12
Elizabeth, B. Hurlock. Perkembangan Perkembangan Anak dan Remaja (Jakarta: PT BPK
Anak Jilid II, (Jakarta: Erlangga, 1995), 94. Gunung Mulia, 1995), 87.
13
Zahara Idris dan Lisma Jamal, 16
Hurlock, Perkembangan, 93.
Pengantar Pendidikan (Jakarta: Gramedia, 17
Sutari Imam Barnadib, Pengantar Ilmu
Widiasarana, 2002), 88. Pendidikan Sistematis (Yogyakarta: offset, 1995),
14
Depdikbud, Kamus Besar Bahasa 123.
Indonesia, (Jakarta: Bulan Bintang, 1996), 692.
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feedback from their foster children to rewarded when they behave socially
understand. well.20
The characteristics of This pattern provides very loose
authoritarian parenting are as follows: supervision. It provides opportunities
a) Children must obey rules of caregiver for foster children to do something
and must not refute them. without adequate supervision of their
b) Caregivers tend to look for children's caregivers. They tend not to reprimand
mistakes and then punish them. or warn if their foster children are in
c) Caregivers tend to give commands trouble or danger and very little
and prohibitions to children. guidance is given to them.
d) If there is a difference in opinion However, this type of caregiver is
between caregivers and children, it is usually warm which is liked by
considered a rebellious. children. Permissive parenting are
e) Caregivers tend to impose discipline. elaborated as follows:
f) Caregivers tend to force things on a) Let children act alone without
children and children are only the monitoring and guiding them.
objects of the rules. b) Educating foster children
g) Lack of communication between indifferently, being passive and
caregivers and children.18 indifferent.
c) Prioritize material needs only.
3) Permissive Parenting d) Let alone what children do (giving
Permissive care is type of care that too much freedom to regulate
gives full freedom to children to choose themselves without any rules and
and regulate their behavior.19 This norms outlined by caregivers).
pattern of nurture is reversed to e) Lack of intimacy and warm
authoritarian parenting. Said Hurlock relationships in family.21
made mention that permissive M. Thalib states permissive
caregivers do not teach rules to their caregivers as follows:
foster children. Children are often not a). Not strict in implementing
given boundaries or constraints that regulations.
govern what may and should not be b). Children are given freedom to do
done. They are given permission to and fulfill their desires.22
make their own decisions. They are not Permissive care patterns are
punished for violating, nor are they characterized by unlimited freedom to
children to behave according to their
18
Zahara Idris dan Lisma Jamal, 20
Hurlock, Perkembangan Anak, 93.
Pengantar Pendidikan (Jakarta: Gramedia, 1998) 21
Idris dan Lisma Jamal, Pengantar, 89-
88. 90.
19
Arini Hidayah, Televisi dan 22
M. Thalib, 40 Tanggung Jawab Orang
Perkembangan Sosial Anak (Yogyakarta: Pustaka Tua Terhadap Anak, (Bandung: Irsyad Baitus
pelajar, 1998), 45. Salam, 1995), 7-9.
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have capacity to work with goals that mercy by God; Surely Allah is
are far ahead and have a level of will Mighty, Wise.30
power or determination. Leaders prefer
actions that challenge a process rather 3. Methodology
than simply wait while giving a smile. This study uses qualitative
Effective leaders usually use a catch approach investigating Muslim families
approach and endlessly show greater in Tinggede,a village located in
initiative compared to non-leaders.29 Marawola Sub-district, Sigi. The
If viewed in the Islamic concept, informants of this study are the head of
the task of humans as leaders on earth is the village, Religious Leaders,
to prosper nature as a manifestation of Community Leaders, Traditional
human gratitude to God Almighty and a Leaders and Communities in Tinggede
form of devotion to Him. The task of at large.
khalīfaḫ is given to every human being. Data were collected through
In the implementation, it contains observations, in-depth interviews and
attitude of togetherness or mutual shared written documents. Data
accountability to Allah and this would analysis consists of several procedures:
lead to prosperity of the nature. This reduction and verification techniques
concept gave birth to very important with various data sources.31 32The
values about the "Leader" and members reduced data is then analyzed reflecting
or those led, and situation in which on theoretical concepts used in this
leadership takes place. study.33
For every people there is a leader
who is trusted so that they can teach 4. Result and Discussion
truth, goodness, and glory through his 4.1 Role of Husband and Wife in Child
example. The leader must be a helper, Care
motivator, director and guiding member
of an organization to obey the will of
30 Departemen Agama RI, Al-Qur’an,198.
Allah Almighty. God's Word swt. in 31 Nurdin, N. (2017a). Research in
Q.S. At-Taubaḫ [9]: 71 which translates Online Space: The Use of Social Media for
as follows: Research Setting Jurnal Sistem Informasi (Journal
And those who believe, men and of Information System), 13(1), 67-77.
women, some of them are helpers for 32 Nurdin, N. (2017b). To Research
some others. They order (do) good and Online or Not to Research Online: Using
prevent from evil, establish prayers, Internet-Based Research in Islamic Studies
Context. Indonesian Journal of Islam and Muslim
perform alms, and they obey Allah and Societies, 7(1), 31-54.
His Messenger. They will be given 33 Nurdin, N. (2016). The Roles of
Family remains the first group her husband at the best potential
(primary group) where foundation of endowed to her and she must not
personality is laid and transferred. be hurt, meeting physical and
Parents play role in establishing a spiritual needs. The way to solve
system of intimate and long-lasting problems is to give mutual
interactions that are characterized by understanding, deliberation,
personal loyalty, love and loving avoiding problems, asking for advice
relationships. The role of parents is to from parents.34
help child's mentality develop Father and mother are the first
appropriately. The formation of a child's role models for their children in their
personality and activities is a capital for personality development. To be a good
adaptation of the child and his role model, father and mother must
environment and brings measured practice it for themselves in the first
impacts on the overall family welfare. place. The role of parents or the
Nuclear family, the smallest environment towards children’s
social group of society formed by independence must be inculcated at the
marriage consists of a husband (father), early age of children. This is considering
a wife (mother) and their children. Both that independence in children cannot
parents must love and care their happen by itself. Children need support
children. When children were brought such as a positive attitude from parents
up with adequate love and affection and skills must be delivered through
from their parents, they could easily training towards their independence.
adapt to situation outside their house In addition, to become an
and allow them face new problems the independent person, a child also needs
way they were brought up. Conversely, to have the opportunity to practice
if both parents interfere too much in consistently, for example, doing
their children’s affairs and force their something on his own or spend it doing
children to obey them, this would be tasks that are appropriate to the stage of
obstacles for the perfection of their his age. Parents or the environment do
personality. not need to be anxious, overly
Abd. Jaar as the Head of the protective, too helpful or even always
village of Tinggiede revealed that: take over tasks that children should be
Marriage is a type of relationship doing, because this can hamper the
between men and women who process of achieving child's
hold a legitimate/lawful bond in independence. Opportunities for
marriage according to Islam. It independent learning can be given by
provides rights and obligations, parents or the environment through
physical and spiritual support, a
husband must be responsible for
all problems and be a good priest, 34
Abd Jabar, Kepala Desa Tinggede, “Wawancara”,
and the wife's obligation is to serve Tanggal 9 September 2019.
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36
Nikma, Orang Tua, (Warga Desa
Tinggede) “Wawancara”, Tanggal 12 September 38
Fajrah, Orang Tua (Warga Desa
2019. Tinggede), Tanggal 16 September 2019.
37
Arsyad, Orang tua (Warga Desa 39
Ervina, Tokoh Pendidik, Orang tua
Tinggede) “Wawancara”, Tanggal 13 September (Warga Desa Tinggede), Tanggal 19 September
2019. 2019.
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The role played by parents is quite large revealed her experiences in the
in addition to fulfilling daily needs of following way:
their children. Parents are also required In educating children it is indeed
to educate children so that their children very difficult, sir, especially if the
would grow in accordance with their child is easily affected, but I try
expectations. This heavy role was also patiently and patiently in
felt by Mr. Saiful where he educated 2 educating children, I always advise
children, he revealed his experiences in him if the correction is wrong,
the following way: because I am embarrassed sir if my
Children are entrusted by God, sir, child can be reproached in the
so we must guard, educate, and community here, eating I always
raise them to become useful advise him, even though I
children later, the most difficult sometimes argue with my child,
thing for me to experience when but not what is important is that
my child has plunged into the my child should not fall into
community, I am afraid that my negative things.45
child will fall into bad things.43 The role played by parents is
Every parent implements a lot of indeed quite heavy, to educate their
strategies to educate their children. children to grow in accordance with
Their expectation is to help their their expectations. Many strategies
children avoid negative things in applied by parents in determining what
society. One of them expressed by Mrs. their children's future would be like, it
Usriah, she revealed her experiences in cannot be separated from the role of
the following way: parents.
So that my child does not fall into On the other hand, children
harmful things, as much as accepted the role played by their
possible I send him in a religious parents. The child would immediately
school, because I do not want my give a positive response to parents when
child to be like his parents, I want their parents give them advice.
my child to be a child who is Many strategies applied by
devoted to his parents and can parents there are authoritarian and
raise the level of his parents in the some are mediocre. Parents mostly
view of society.44 involve their children in religious
The same thing conveyed by Ms. activities and social activities, it is hoped
Restu, in in educating her children, she that their children will be able to live
well in community.
However, many obstacles
experienced by parents when educating
43
Saiful, Orang tua (Warga Desa Tinggede)
“Wawancara”, Tanggal 27 September 2019.
44 Usriah, Orang tua (Warga Desa 45 Restu, Orang tua (Warga Desa
Tinggede) “Wawancara”, Tanggal 30 September Tinggede) “Wawancara”, Tanggal 30 September
2019. 2019.
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quite good ... I feel that the people revealed his experience in the following
living in my neighborhood are way:
already considered to be my I am here as a youth leader as well
brothers myself, and I will not as a member of youth here so if
break the ties of friendship that I there are friends who have
have implanted in myself.48 interests I always help, if someone
In addition, there are other dies too so sir.... so that people
reasons revealed by Nia, she also feels here also think I am a part of them
true benefits of implementing good so I feel being valuable and
religious attitude in her environment as respected.50
taught by her parents, she revealed her Every response that was expressed
experience in the following way: by the informants was almost all the
I became more aware of how to same, because in their own social life,
live in a society and religion, sir ... loyalty was needed in social
so that I became more active in interactions. Hence, the community can
participating in activities carried accept it well. This shows that the role of
out in this environment and I parents is very important in shaping
became (so close to the people character and children character which
here). Even though I am a migrant they would apply in their environment
in this village.49 later. If children do not behave well in
In addition to the values and their community, the community will
benefits derived from religious attitude automatically look at children's parents.
of children in the community, they In this view, parents are considered as a
really feel what it means to life. Thus, reflection of their children.
children can bring themselves in their
own lives and they can sort out which 5. Conclusions
actions are good and bad. The formation of personality is
In social life, of course, we live side very meaningful. In this context, parents
by side with other residents, so the are the first personal coaches in
attitude we make in this community children’s life. Parenting activities in the
will certainly get a response from village of Tinggede do not only show
others. This was also felt by the children how parents treat children, but also
in implementing religious behavior in indicate how parents educate, guide and
the community. Good behavior is protect children from childhood to
always shown by these children so that adulthood according to values, norms
responses they get in return are also and culture embraced in the
good. One of them revealed by Fajar, he community. Islamic way of nurturing is
one of the ways that parents adopted
when it comes to educating children in
48Syiva, Remaja (Warga Desa Tinggede)
“Wawancara”, Tanggal 10 Oktober 2019.
49 Nia, Remaja (Warga Desa Tinggede) Fajar, Tokoh Pemuda, (Warga Desa Tinggede)
50
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