Kedoshim

Table of Contents
Torah Wellsprings - Kedoshim

Judging Others Favorably ..............................................................................................4

Judging Hashem Favorably............................................................................................5
Lo Sikom ............................................................................................................................9
Build and Don't Break...................................................................................................12
Turn Your Eyes to Hashem ..........................................................................................13
 Torah Wellsprings - Kedoshim

Judging Others Favorably words favorably. This will increase peace

and friendship among people… and remove
It states (19:15) ‫בצדק תשפוט עמיתך‬, "With suspicion from one another."
righteousness, you shall judge your fellow."
Rashi explains (in his second explanation) that this
means you should judge your fellow man The Kedushas Levi (Shoftim) writes, "When
favorably, l'kaf zechus. When your fellow we act with kindness and judge every Yid
man does something that appears like an ‫לכף זכות‬, favorably, this rouses the same
aveirah, you are obligated to give him the attribute in heaven, and Hashem judges us
benefit of the doubt and to assume that it favorably. This is the translation of the pasuk,
wasn't an aveirah.1 ‫ ;שופטים ושוטרים תתן לך‬this means you should
prepare the judgment of heaven… ‫ושפטו את‬
The Chinuch (235) writes, "It is proper that ‫העם משפט צדק‬, by judging your fellow man
every person should judge his friend favorably… Because the way a person acts
favorably and interpret his actions and to others is how Heaven will act with him."2

1. Rashi's first explanation is that the pasuk is speaking to the shoftim, the judges, instructing them to
adjudicate honestly and truthfully.
2. Ponevezh yeshiva has a Yarchei Kalah program for bein hazmanim, where baalabatim come to study
Torah in the yeshiva. One Shabbos during the Yarchei Kalah, the gabai called up a wealthy person for maftir,
even though there was a chasan. Generally the custom in Ponevezh was that a chasan received maftir. The
wealthy guest got maftir this week, and the chasan got a regular aliyah.
People started whispering, “Why did the gabai give maftir to the wealthy person? Maftir belongs to the
chasan! The chasan is an orphan! The gabai shouldn’t have slighted him by giving him a regular aliyah. He
honored the wealthy person because of his money!”
The chasan heard their hushed conversation and clarified the matter. He said, “I asked the gabai not to give
me maftir because I am shy, and I didn't want to say the long haftarah brachos out loud.”
Reb Ben Tzion Feldman zt”l repeated this story and said, “Imagine if the chasan remained silent. Who
would think of this explanation and judge the gabai favorably? We must train ourselves to judge our fellow
man favorably, especially since our assumptions are often wrong."
Someone told Reb Feldman that he had difficulty getting along with a neighbor. They don’t fight, chas
veshalom, but they just didn’t get along. When they met, it is always a tense encounter. He complained that
his neighbor was making a chasunah for his son, and he sent him an empty envelope without an invitation.
He said, "I immediately understood what he was trying to tell me. He was indicating that I am not
welcome at the wedding. What a chutzpah!a nerveghbor, after all. Well, if that's the way he wants it, I will
stop pretending. I will turn this into a real machlokes…”
Reb Feldman told him, “You must judge your neighbor favorably. Perhaps he forgot to put in the invitation.”
“Did you ever receive an envelope for an invitation with nothing inside it?”
Reb Feldman admitted that it never happened to him before and he had never heard of such a thing,
“Nevertheless, you are obligated to judge him favorably.”
Later that day, this man received another invitation in the mail to some other chasunah. He opened the
envelope and lo and behold, there was no invitation inside. Heaven was showing him that sometimes
people forget to put in the invitation, and he should judge his neighbor favorably.
He saved the envelope as a reminder to judge his fellow man l'kaf zechus.
 Torah Wellsprings - Kedoshim 5

Judging Hashem Favorably year, we went to Tzanz for the yahrzeit, and
I also received an ayin hara, but due to our
There is another explanation for ‫בצדק‬ frustration on the way back, the ayin hara
‫תשפוט עמיתך‬, written by the Baalei HaTosfos. was canceled." The previous year, on their
They explain that the pasuk refers to way back, the border police checked their
Hashem, urging us to judge Hashem passports, and the gabbaim were caught
favorably. Sometimes, we don't understand with false papers. This distress saved the
Hashem's ways, why hardships befall good rebbe from the ayin hara.
people, and the like. The Torah obligates us
to judge ‫עמיתך‬, which refers to Hashem, We don’t know how much good we are
favorably and to believe that it is all for the gaining when we experience difficulties. It
good. When one does so, the malachim in seems like a tzarah, but it might just be what
heaven praise him. was needed to bring his salvation.
Rebbe Shayele Kerestirer zt'l (yahrzeit on the The lesson is that we should judge
3 of Iyar) was a student of the Divrei Chaim
rd Hashem favorably, ‫בצדק תשפוט עמיתך‬. Don't
of Tzanz zt'l. After the Divrei Chaim's petirah question Hashem's ways. Sometimes, people
(on the 25th of Nisan 5636), Rebbe Shayele would suffer hardships; they don't know why, but
travel to his rebbe's kever on the yahrzeit. it is all for our good. It could be saving us
from much greater troubles.
One year, Reb Shayele was already old
and frail, and his gabbaim recommended Reb Chaim Vital zt'l said that if a person
that he travel to Tzanz by horse and wagon had sechel, he would seek to receive shame
rather than with the many people who because shame doesn’t affect a person’s
flocked to Tzanz by train. Reb Shayele health and saves him from so much trouble.
wouldn't hear of it, saying that taking the
It states in this week's parashah (Kedoshim
train was more economical. He explained
19:3),
‫איש אמו ואביו תראו‬, "Every man shall fear
that the money he saved could go to
his mother and his father." Chazal tell us
tzedakah.
that one of the ways we express our fear to
When people discovered that Rebbe our parents is ‫לא יושב במקומו‬, that we don't sit
Shayele was on the train with them, they in their places.
went over to him with kvitlach and money,
We are also obligated to fear Hashem, as
as customary. They wanted to receive his
it states (Devarim 13:6) ‫את ה' אלקיך תירא‬. The Sfas
brachos. But there were other chashuve
Emes says that this also means that we
people on the train, and some were jealous
shouldn't sit in Hashem's place. Hashem
of all the honor that Rebbe Shayele received.
decides how to lead the world. We don't
Due to the large crowd on the train, always understand. We sometimes think we
someone accidentally stepped on Reb would do things differently had we been
Shayele's foot, which became infected. Rebbe running the world, but we mustn't try to sit
Shayele attributed the infection to the ayin in Hashem's place. We must trust that
hara, the jealousy of others. Hashem knows best and leads the world in
the best possible way.
For the return trip, the gabbaim again
tried to convince Rebbe Shayele to take a It states (Tehillim 89): ‫ויודו שמים פלאך ה' אף אמונתך‬
taxi home now that he was wounded and ill. ‫בקהל קדשים‬. The Yismach Yisrael says that ‫אף‬
But once again, he refused, and they traveled means anger, representing the times when
home by train. Due to the infection, a few Hashem's anger is evident in the world and
weeks afterward, he was niftar. Rebbe people suffer. Someone may need a shidduch,
Shayele said throughout these final weeks be ill, or not have parnassah, etc. It is difficult
that it was all because of the ayin hara, due to have emunah at these times because we
to all the honor he received. He added, "Last don't understand Hashem’s ways. Even so,
6 Torah Wellsprings - Kedoshim

the Jewish nation strengthens itself and its our unwavering emunah in Hashem in
belief in Hashem, realizing that Hashem Aramaic.
leads the world in the best way.
The Zohar states that there are three
Klal Yisrael went through very difficult categories of tefillah mentioned in Tehillim.
periods r”l. There was the generation of the There is (90:1) ‫תפלה למשה‬, and there is (86:1) ‫תפלה‬
Holocaust and of other painful times in our ‫לדוד‬, but the highest praise is (102:1) ‫תפלה לעני‬.
history. And even during those challenging It states ‫תפלה לעני כי יעטף‬, and the Zohar
times, Klal Yisrael remained firm in their explains that the tefillos of the poor wrap
belief in Hashem, and knew that Hashem’s and elevate all other tefillos. The most perfect
judgment was correct. They knew that even tefillos are the tefillos of the poor.
then Hashem loved them and desired only
The Tiferes Shlomo (Purim) explains that
their good.
this is because the poor suffer but believe
Malachim stand in awe at the emunah of that it is all for the good. This belief makes
the Jewish nation. They consider it wondrous them worthy that their tefillos should be
that the Jewish nation can believe in Hashem answered.
even through suffering and praise Hashem We quote the Tiferes Shlomo: "The Zohar
even when they go through the most praises the prayers of the poor. What is so
challenging times. This is implied in the special about these tefillos? They refer to
words ‫ אמונתך בקהל קדשים‬...‫וידו שמים פלאך‬. The when a person suffers from poverty and yet
malachim praise Your wonders… the doesn't ask questions on Hashem. He
wonders of the Jewish nation who believe in believes that ‫כל מה דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד‬
Hashem even at these times. everything is for the best. [When a person
Chazal (Brachos 60) say, and it is written in has this emunah], his tefillos break through
Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 230:5): ‫לעולם יהא אדם‬ all heavens."
‫ כל מה דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד‬,‫רגיל לומר‬, "A person The Zohar adds the pasuk ‫כי שומע אל אביונים‬
should accustom himself to say, 'Everything '‫ה‬, that Hashem listens to the tefillos of the
Hashem does is for the good.'" This phrase poor.
is in Aramaic. Why isn't it said in lashon
hakodesh? I heard from Reb Menachem Lunger n”y
from Bnei Brak that thieves broke into his
We can explain it with an idea from home one week when he and his family
Tosfos (Brachos 3): "People say that the kaddish were away for Shabbos. They stole jewelry
is said in Aramaic because it is a beautiful that he had inherited from his parents,
prayer and a great praise. It was established jewelry that his daughter, a kallah, had
in Aramaic, so the malachim shouldn’t recently received from her future in-laws,
understand it and be jealous of us." and one hundred thousand shekels, which
he had just borrowed from a gmach to cover
Therefore, we can similarly explain that the expenses of his daughter’s upcoming
it was established that we should say ‫כל מה‬ chasunah.
‫ דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד‬in Aramaic because this is
a great praise to Hashem and a great wonder. When they arrived home, his wife saw
It expresses the greatness of the Jewish the overturned home. Being a very organized
nation who believe in Hashem, even when person, just seeing the overturned home
they don't understand His ways. Malachim itself was painful for her. Not to mention the
don't have this level because they don't tremendous financial loss they had just
suffer yesurim as we do. They don’t have incurred. She said to Hashem, "Only you
the avodah of believing in Hashem through know my broken heart. Only You know how
hardship and pain. To avoid the malachim's I feel now. But despite everything, I believe
jealousy, we say the phrase that embodies that it was bashert. I believe that it is for the
 Torah Wellsprings - Kedoshim 7

good. And I request that in the merit of my We heard this story from Reb Naftali
emunah, our family should have yeshuos." Silvertzvag, her third child.
She listed the yeshuos she needed. One We think that yesurim are detrimental to
of her children was divorced. She requested us, but in reality, we gain from suffering
that in the merit of her emunah, this child and discomfort. She lost a house and merited
should get remarried. She also had two three children, although according to all
married children who were childless, doctors, it was impossible for her to bear
although one was nine years after their children. Similarly, we must know that all
chasunah and the other was six years after troubles are for our benefit.
their chasunah.
The holy Ruzhiner zt’l told his chassidim
All of them had their salvation that year. the following story:
A woman who survived through There was a chassid who was cautious
Holocaust, moved to France, and got married never to work before shacharis. He was once
but never had children. Once, she was out sitting with a large stock of furs and had
shopping when a fire broke out in her difficulty selling them. One morning, a
kitchen, and her home burned down, r”l. messenger from a poritz arrived and wanted
When the neighbors saw the fire, they to purchase the furs, but the chassid hadn't
immediately called the fire department. davened yet, and he didn't want to conduct
business before shacharis. Not wanting to get
One of the neighbors was the gadol, Reb into a debate over his custom, he quoted an
Mordechai Pogromansky. The neighbors exorbitant price for the furs, assuming the
approached him and asked him what to do. messenger would leave. But the messenger
"When she discovers what occurred, she will was prepared to pay the high price. So, he
be devastated. She went through the raised the price even higher. Finally, the
Holocaust, and she doesn't have children. messenger said, “I see you don’t want to sell
What will be when she sees that she lost her them,” and left.
home?"
The Ruzhiner told his chassidim, “I see
Reb Mordechai advised that one of the you are silent and waiting to hear the end of
neighbors should meet this woman a couple the story. (Generally, stories like these end with a miracle.)
of blocks away from her home and break the But that was the end of the story. He was
news to her there, and immediately add that moser nefesh to keep halachah, and he lost
Reb Mordechai Pogromansky guarantees money."
that if she accepts this decree with emunah
and without mourning, she will merit Things don't always end with a miracle,
children. but even then, we believe that everything is
for the good, although we don't know
She didn't complain, she didn't moan,
precisely how and why.3
and that year, she had a girl. The next year,
she had another girl, and a year after that, In ‫תרפ"ט‬, Reb Boruch Frankel z’l, and a
she had a son. friend came from Europe to America and

3. There was a person who owned a dog; they were always together. When his master suffered a heart
attack, and an ambulance came to bring him to the hospital, the dog came along. Even in the hospital room,
the dog was at his master's side. They were inseparable. But the doctors refused to let the dog enter the
OR. The dog stood near the door, barked, and howled until the doctors felt they had no choice and agreed
to let the dog in. It sat there next to its master who was put to sleep. The dog was ok with that, but when
they took out a knife and began operating on the patient, the dog became vicious and upset. It didn’t
understand that the surgery was for the master's good. It states (Tehillim 73:22), ‫ואני בער ולא אדע בהמות הייתי עמך‬, “I
8 Torah Wellsprings - Kedoshim

worked hard to realize the American dream. Then World War II broke out. As an
Every month they sent some money to their American citizen, he was able to escape to
wives and children who remained behind in America together with his family. His
Europe, and the rest they kept in savings business partner, on the other hand, perished
accounts. in the Holocaust r”l.
After three years, they had saved up That terrible moment when his partner
enough money to start their own business in stole his life’s savings turned out to be one
Europe and decided it was time to return. of the most fortunate moments of his life; it
They were both excited about their future saved his entire family.
lives in Europe, together with their families
and their, hopefully, prosperous business. Obviously, this doesn’t exonerate the
partner for his terrible deed, but the
They purchased two tickets on a ship that
awareness that ‫כל מה דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד‬,
would be leaving for Europe in about a week
"Everything is for the good" is a lesson worth
and got busy finishing their preparations
learning. It is a reminder that we should
and closing their business in America. But
always judge Hashem favorably, ‫בצדק תשפט‬
then Reb Boruch Frankel's father was niftar.
‫עמיתך‬, with the belief that even when we
He sat shivah in America, knowing he would
don't understand, everything is for our good.
miss his voyage. Reb Boruch Frankel planned
to buy another ticket after the shivah. We now share a relatively recent story
Many people visited Reb Boruch during that demonstrates once again how everything
the shivah, and in one especially busy that happens is for our benefit:
moment, his business partner came to him
with a stack of documents. A person studied to become a children’s
therapist. The therapy included horseback
“What are these?” riding. When he graduated from the course,
he rented a ranch in the village of Aderet,
“They are to close our business. We have
near Beit Shemesh, complete with a barn for
to sign some documents before we leave. I
the horses, a riding track, and a small office.
brought them here to you so you can sign
them.” He rented the ranch for a year and
Reb Boruch Frankel looked at them invested in all the equipment needed to
briefly; everything seemed right, so he perform the therapy. At the end of the year,
signed all the documents without checking the landowner informed the therapist that
each one. After the shivah, he discovered he would be renting the ranch on a three-
that one of those documents gave his partner month basis. Every three months, they
permission to take all his money out of his would draw up another contract. That gave
bank account. His partner had tricked him the landowner the opportunity to raise the
and stolen all his savings. Reb Boruch didn’t rent four times a year. Despite this uncommon
even have enough money to pay for his arrangement, it worked fine for several
passage back home. years.

Reb Boruch stayed in America and But eventually, the rent became too high.
worked hard for several more years. In ‫תרצ"ד‬, The tenant said, “If I pay that amount, I
he became an American citizen, and that’s might as well close my practice. All the
when he returned to Europe. money I earn will go to the rent.”

am a fool. I don’t know. I am like an animal…” We are like animals who don’t know anything and don’t
realize how everything – even matters that seem bad – is for our good.
 Torah Wellsprings - Kedoshim 9

But the landowner wouldn’t lower the Because everything is for the good, and
price. He gave his tenant a week to decide. when we look back, we often merit to see it
Deep in thought, the tenant/therapist was with our own eyes.4
walking down a street, worried about his
future, when he bumped into his old teacher Lo Sikom
who trained him in this therapy. The teacher
immediately noticed that something was It states (19:18) ‫לא תקום‬, "You shall not take
wrong and asked his student how his revenge…"
practice was going. The student told him
about the high rent that he must pay. Sefer HaChinuch (241) writes, "The ways
of most people is that if someone wronged
The teacher replied, “There is plenty of them, they don't cease seeking opportunities
room on the ranch where I teach the therapy. to get back at them to give them what they
You can bring your horses there, free of deserve… Hashem yisbarach forbids us to
charge.” do so. The Sifra gives an example of revenge
that is forbidden. You need a hoe, so you
The therapist was shocked. This was too ask your neighbor to lend you one, who
good to be true. He didn’t answer his refuses your request. Sometime later, your
therapist because he was having trouble neighbor comes to you and asks for an ax. It
believing that his therapist was serious and is forbidden to reply, 'I won't lend you the
that the offer was sincere. He was still ax, just as you didn't lend me the hoe.'
debating what to do.
"One of the reasons for this mitzvah is
that a person should know that whatever
Four o’clock on Thursday morning, just a
happens to him, whether good or bad, is
few hours before the deadline, he was
from Hashem yisbarach. It is impossible for
awoken by a phone call from the police.
a human being to harm his fellow man [if it
“There’s a fire in Aderet. You must evacuate
wasn't decreed from Above]. And therefore,
the village.”
when someone harms you, know in your
soul that Hashem is punishing you for your
He grabbed his horses and took them aveiros. Don't seek revenge. He isn't the cause
straight to his teacher's ranch. of your tzaros.

We see how the problem proved to be "[When Shimi cursed Dovid HaMelech],
part of the salvation. He told his teacher Dovid haMelech a”h said (Shmuel 2, 16:11), ‫הניחו‬
about his problems, this paved a place for '‫לו ויקלל כי אמר לו ה‬, 'Let him curse; for Hashem
him to bring his horses, and to continue his has told him [to do so].' Dovid attributed it
practice, free of charge, after the fire. to his aveiros, not to Shimi ben Gera.

4. A ‫ שבט‬is a staff used for hitting. A ‫ משען‬is a stick used for support. Dovid HaMelech says (Tehillim 23:4),
‫שבטך ומשענתך המה ינחמוני‬, “Your staff and your supporting stick comfort me.” Because even when one is hit
with a ‫שבט‬, he should know that it really is a ‫משען‬, his support. This awareness is ‫ינחמוני‬, his comfort.

It states (Tehillim 139:8), ‫אם אסק שמים שם אתה‬, “If I go up to heaven You are there, ‫ואציעה שאול הנך‬, and if I make a
bed in Gehinom, behold You are present.” This pasuk is discussing two very opposite experiences. ‫אם אסק‬
‫שמים‬, “If I go up to heaven” hints at good times. ‫“ ואציעה שאול‬If I make a bed in Gehinom” hints at difficult
times. The pasuk says that in all situations, good and bad, Hashem is present.

When is Hashem closer? When experiencing good times, the pasuk says ‫“ שם אתה‬You are there.” When going
through hard times the pasuk says ‫ הנך‬behold You are here.” It seems Hashem is even closer, helping him
through the hard times.
10 Torah Wellsprings - Kedoshim

"Additionally, this outlook helps resolve The Imrei Emes zt'l lived in Biyale (his
disputes and removes hatred from man's wife's hometown) after his chasunah. One of the
heart. And when there will be peace among locals caused him a lot of anguish.
people, Hashem will grant them peace…
Someone who places in his heart to hate his During World War One, this man (who had
fellow man for the bad he caused him and needed help, and the
bothered the Imrei Emes)

takes revenge has transgressed this Imrei Emes sent him food and clothing and
prohibition. This is very bad; it leads to helped him immensely.
many troubles."
The Imrei Emes's Rebbetzin quipped, "I
see that you can't forget all the trouble he
The Tosher Rebbe zt'l would send money caused you."
to a particular person every year. His gabbai
asked, "Why do you send money to him? He Another time, she said, "I understand
isn't poor!" that want to repay his evil ways with
kindness because there is a virtue to ‫משלם‬
‫טובה תחת רעה‬, to pay back good for the bad
The Rebbe of Tosh explained, "I was once you received, however, he wasn't so cruel to
in an area with only one mikvah. It was just you that you should help him so much."
a hole in the ground, and a wooden plank
was used to cover the mikvah when it wasn't The Imrei Emes replied with the pasuk
in use. Once, I was immersed in this mikvah, (Mishlei 17:13), which discusses the opposite
and this person was there, and he covered scenario: when people act cruelly to those
the mikvah with the plank! He intentionally who did kindness to them. It states ‫משב רעה‬
wanted to harm me! My life was in danger! ‫תחת טובה לא תמוש רעה מביתו‬, "He who repays evil
But then he lifted the plank, and this saved for good, evil will not depart from his house."
me. I don't consider him guilty for covering The pasuk discusses when one does bad to
the mikvah. I know that he was sent from a person who has helped him. The pasuk
heaven to do that. But he deserves credit for warns that he will be punished severely.
removing the plank to save me. I send him Evil and troubles will not depart from his
money as hakaras hatov." house."5

5. The Or HaChaim (Bereishis 20:9) writes, ‫שאין אדם מתחייב רע בעולם כמשלם רעה תחת טובה‬, "No one deserves punishment
like one who repays a favor with evil…"

When the Yidden left Mitzrayim they carried arms, as it states (Shemos 13:18), ‫וחמושים עלו בני ישראל מארץ מצרים‬,
"Bnei Yisrael were armed when they went up from the land of Mitzrayim." The Chasam Sofer (Toras Moshe,
Beshalach, ‫ )וחמושים‬asks, if they carried weapons, they could have used their weapons and battled the Egyptians
who pursued them! Why did they need the miracle that the sea split?

The Chasam Sofer explains that 210 years earlier the Egyptians did a great favor for the Jewish nation. At
that time, there was a famine, and Mitzrayim opened their doors for Yaakov and his offspring. Therefore,
the Yidden had hakaras hatov for the Egyptians. Raising arms against a nation that once welcomed them
would be improper.

This vort shows us the extent of the obligation never to harm someone who helped you. The Mitzrim
afflicted and enslaved the Yidden. The favor the Mitzrim did for the Yidden was so long ago! Nevertheless,
the Torah obligated them to have hakaras hatov. It would be wrong to use weapons on Mitzrayim, a nation
that once did them a favor. How cautious we must be with the obligation of having hakaras hatov!

Rashi (Devarim 23:8) writes, ‫ שהיו לכם אכסניא בשעת הדחק‬,‫ מה טעם‬,‫ אע"פ שזרקו זכוריכם ליאור‬,‫לא תתעב מצרי מכל וכל‬, "Do not
completely reject the Mitzrim, although they threw your first-borns into the Nile. Why? Because they
provided you with shelter in your time of need."
 Torah Wellsprings - Kedoshim 11

The Imrei Emes concluded, "If this is the asked his father why he honored this rav so
punishment for doing bad to someone who much. The Imrei Yosef replied that he was
did kindness to you, certainly when you do once collecting money and came to this rav's
kindness to a person who performed bad to beis medresh. The rav didn't do anything to
you, goodness will never depart from your help him. Neither did he tell his wealthy
home!" congregants to help me; he just ignored me.
The Imrei Yosef was upset with the rav, and
It states (Tehillim 41:10-11) ‫וגם איש שלומי אשר‬ he didn't want to help him now. To uproot
‫בטחתי בו אוכל לחמי הגדיל עלי עקב ואתה ה' חנני והקמני‬ those negative feelings, he was now honoring
‫ואשלמה להם‬, "Even my ally, in whom I trusted, the rav immensely. He explained, "I was
who eats my bread, developed an ambush tempted not to help him, to act with him as
for me. But You, Hashem, be gracious to me he acted with me. To overcome this negative
and raise me up, so that I may repay them." tendency, I am acting in the opposite extreme
In what way did Dovid want to repay those and helping him immensely."
who went against him? The simple meaning
is that I should repay them with revenge The Chakal Yitzchak writes, "I saw many
and give them what they deserve. Indeed, episodes like this one. The Imrei Yosef
that is how Metzudas Dovid explains it. honored those who harmed him to break his
However, Reb Sadyah Gaon says that Dovid desire to harm them."
requested ‫ואשלמה להם‬, that I should repay
them with kindness. The Divrei Shmuel of Slonim zt'l taught
his son, the Beis Avraham zt'l, a rule of
The following pasuk states ‫בזאת ידעתי כי‬ rabbinic leadership that his son could use
‫חפצת בי‬, "With this I shall know that You when he became a rebbe. The Divrei Shmuel
desired me…" Reb Sadya Gaon explains that told him that when someone goes against
if I am kind to them, despite all the bad they you, repay him with kindness. Don't fight
did for me, I am certain that you will desire back because you will only lose in the end.
and love me. The Divrei Shmuel told his son a story that
Reb Sadya Gaon concludes, ‫והוא דבר ה' לא‬ happened to him in his younger years, when
‫תקום ולא תטור‬, this is the meaning of the he would travel from city to city to deliver
obligation that we mustn’t take revenge or Chasidic drashos, to strengthen the
hold a grudge. communities. "In one city, a person would
always seek a way to disagree or disprove
The Imrei Yosef of Spinka zt'l once had a what I said. At first, I didn't understand
guest in his home. The guest was a rav, and what he wanted from me, but then I
the Spinka Rebbe honored him immensely. understood that he simply is looking for
After Shacharis, the Imrei Yosef immediately opportunities to oppose me and to make my
took his guest home to serve him breakfast. life miserable. So I decided to help him. I
He didn't keep his general routine to learn a purposely made mistakes so he could feel
certain amount before returning home. The good about correcting me. Now, this person
Imrei Yosef's son, the Chakal Yitzchak zt'l, is from my loyal chasidim, prepared to do

When Moshe Rabbeinu was living in Yisro's home in Midyan, Hashem told Moshe to return to Mitzrayim
to redeem the Yidden from slavery. The Midrash (Tanchuma, Shemos 16) tells us that Moshe replied, "Ribono
Shel Olam, how can I leave Yisro without first asking his consent? Yisro opened his home for me; he treats
me like his son." The Midrash explains, "When one opens his house for you, you owe him your life… You
are obligated to honor the one who opened his home for you more than you are obligated to honor your
father and mother." Despite the urgent need to save the Jewish nation, Moshe said it wasn't right to leave
Midyan without Yisro's consent because Yisro hosted him in his home. This is another example of how
much hakaras hatov we need to have.
12 Torah Wellsprings - Kedoshim

anything for me. This is the only way. To be of Manhattan, New York City. A poor family
kind to those who do bad to you. If you had two children: a six-year-old girl and a
fight back, you won’t gain anything other twelve-year-old boy. The boy was very
than making your life miserable." diligent in his Torah studies, and his father
was very proud of him. There wasn't much
Rebbe Hershel of Ziditchov zt'l said, food in the home. The only food on Shabbos
"When two people are pulling at two ends was challah and cake.
of a rope (tug of war), and one drops the rope,
the other will fall." The lesson is that if On the Shabbos after Pesach, at the
someone is fighting against you, as long as meager Shabbos seudah, the six-year-old
you fight back, the machlokes continues. But girl went to her room, returned with some
if you let go of the rope, your enemy will stale cake, and gave it to her brother. She
fall, and you will be saved. said, "I am proud of you because you learn
Torah. Therefore, when mother served cake
Even better, if you do kindness to your for the past few weeks, I didn't eat it all. I
fellow man, the machlokes will end. saved a bit so that I can give it to you. The
small amounts have accumulated, and now
Chazal tell us that in the days of Dovid
I can present you with this cake."
HaMelech, one hundred people died daily.
With his ruach hakodesh and depth of There was a problem. Pesach had passed,
understanding, Dovid HaMelech understood so the cake was ‫חמץ שעבר עליו הפסח‬, and it was
that if the nation recited one hundred brachos forbidden to be eaten. The father praised his
each day, the epidemic would end, and so it daughter for admiring Torah so much and
was. blessed her that she should marry a talmid
chacham. (He also told his family that they should cover
Reb Shimshon Pinkus zt'l explains that the chametz because it needed to be burned, as it was chametz
the deaths showed that there was a rift, from Pesach.)
keviyachol, between Hashem and the Jewish
nation. There was anger from Above, which Indeed, she married a talmid chacham.
resulted in these deaths. When there is a rift She married Reb Moshe Feinstein zt'l.
between people, and one of them smiles and
The point we want to make from this
speaks kindly to the other person, the
story is that the father didn't shatter his
machlokes won't last for long. You can't be
daughter's appreciation for Torah. He didn't
angry with someone so kind to you. Dovid
shout at her for making this mistake. Instead,
HaMelech understood that if Klal Yisrael
he praised her, saying that she is a special
came to Hashem with one hundred daily
girl who loves Torah and respects her
praises, the rift and the wrath would end,
brother. This increased her love for Torah.
and goodness would come to the Jewish
Had he admonished her for hiding chametz
nation.
over Pesach, it would have broken her and
This is certainly an excellent counsel to perhaps her admiration for Torah, too.
act towards your fellow man. Be kind to After the Holocaust, in the home of the
them, even when they are cruel towards Nesivos Sholom of Slonim zt'l, a child spilled
you, and goodness will come your way. If wine, messing up the Shabbos table. The
you try to harm them, it (a) is nekamah, (b) Nesivos Sholom and the entire family kept
won't work, and (c) It will just fan the flames calm, and no one rebuked the child for his
of the machlokes. negligence.

Build and Don't Break There was a guest in their home at the
time. She wasn't religious. As was common
A wonderful story happened more than among some Holocaust survivors, she had
a hundred years ago in the Lower East Side lost her emunah r”l. This episode brought
 Torah Wellsprings - Kedoshim 13

her back. She said, "Some families consider So, we see that a person chooses the type
a clean tablecloth to be more important than of life to live. If he is wise, he chooses a life
a child's feelings. But I saw in this home that of joy. The Chazon Ish zt'l said, "Everyone
the child's feelings were more important goes through this world. Some cry and some
than a clean tablecloth," and that expression laugh; it is better to pass through the world
of good middos brought her back to with laughter." The choice is in our hands
Yiddishkeit. because it isn't a person’s situation that
determines his happiness or the opposite;
At the tish of one of the Lubavitcher instead, the person's attitude affects how he
Rebbes, a person sat and ate matzah dipped will pass through this world.
in red beet borscht. The Rebbe didn't permit
anyone to rebuke him. He explained, "Better
that the matzos should turn red than this Turn Your Eyes to Hashem
person's face should turn red."
We quote the Kli Yakar:
A rosh yeshiva once said to Reb Shlomo
Zalman Auerbach zt'l, "Your life is like living "The Midrash (Midrash Tehillim 44:2) says,
in Gan Eden. You don't have enemies. 'Salvations come to the Jewish nation when
Everyone loves you. No one tries to harm they are at the very lowest level, at the nadir.
you. But I feel that my life is Gehinom. Many As it states (Tehillim 44:26), ‫כי שחה לעפר נפשינו‬, when
people try to harm me, to take away my we fall to the earth, ‫קומה עזרתה לנו‬, that's when
parnassah, and I suffer in other ways…" Hashem saves us. The explanation is that as
long as people aren't at the lowest level, they
When the rosh yeshiva left the house, think they can save themselves from their
Reb Shlomo Zalman told his family, "He troubles through their hishtadlus. But when
claims that he lives in Gehinom and that I they see that all hishtadlus won’t help them,
live in Gan Eden. I say that he created the they place their trust in Hashem, they call
Gehinom for himself. He says that I live in out to Him, and Hashem listens. And they
Gan Eden. That's because when someone rise suddenly from the lowest level up to the
wants to push me back a step, I go back two highest level. By nature, it isn't understood
steps on my own, and therefore my life is how they could rise so high and so
Gan Eden. suddenly…"
Chazal say that the Yidden in the desert
lost their portion to Olam HaBa. This can be The Brisker Rav zt'l would say that he
explained because the nation chose a lifestyle understands how the poor have parnassah.
of complaining, as it states (Bamidbar 11:1) ‫ויהי‬ They realize that they can't manage on their
'‫העם כמתאוננים רע באזני ה‬, "The people took to own, so they place their trust in Hashem,
seeking complaints…" and Hashem helps them. But how do the
wealthy survive? They have their own
And when they sinned with the meraglim, money, they think they can manage on their
Chazal say that they cried for no reason, and own, so how do they have parnassah?" The
therefore they were punished to cry with a Brisker Rav concluded that he doesn’t have
reason (for the churban Beis HaMikdash). an answer to this great question.6

6. Two competing farmers from two different farms were about to harvest their wheat, to sell the grain for
Pesach matzos. One of them came to the gadol (of about 300-350 years ago) Reb Yaakov Bardugo, and said, "Im
yirtzeh Hashem, I am about to harvest the grains. I want your brachos that it should be a success…" Reb
Yaakov Bardugo blessed him.

The other farmer also came to Reb Yaakov. He said, "I’m about to harvest the grains, and I want your
brachos for success," but Reb Yaakov didn’t bless him.
14 Torah Wellsprings - Kedoshim

Rebbe of Sokolov zt'l answered it wanted to give Yaakov a set salary. He said
according to the Chazal (Koheles Rabba 1:13): (Bereishis 30:28) ‫נקבה שכרך עלי ואתנה‬, "Specify your
"Whoever has a hundred wants two wage, and I will give it." He wanted Yaakov
hundred." So the wealthy also feel lacking to feel that his parnassah comes from Lavan,
and turn their eyes to Hashem to help them. not Hashem. Yaakov didn't want that. He
wanted a parnassah that would cause him to
We say in the Haggadah, ‫לבן בקש לעקור את‬ constantly turn his eyes to Hashem to help
‫הכל‬,” Lavan wanted to uproot Yaakov Avinu” him. And indeed, Yaakov trusted in Hashem
from Hashem. We can explain that Lavan and had immense success.7

Since he didn’t receive the rav's brachah, he didn’t want to harvest the crop. He figured, "The crop wasn't
blessed. It will only bring me heartache." But his family urged him to harvest the crop, regardless, and he
did so.

But there was no blessing in the crop. Whoever bought his grains didn’t enjoy them. One person bought
the wheat kernels, and it rained on them, rendering them unfit for Pesach. For another, it rained when
they were baking matzos. As people of this city were cautious with gebroks, he couldn’t use those matzos.
Similarly, whoever bought his wheat didn’t enjoy it.

Reb Yaakov Bardugo summoned the farmer who was having this bad mazal and asked him if he knew
why this was happening. It wasn't natural that whoever bought his grains couldn't use them for Pesach.

The farmer said he knew the reason and was ready to admit his error. It rained on his wheat kernels before
he sold them. He dried them, and he didn’t tell anybody what happened. Hashem protected the Jewish
community, and whoever purchased flour from him didn’t end up using it for Pesach.

The rav told the farmer that he must return the money to whoever bought from him.

The farmer asked the rav, "Why didn’t the rav bless me as you blessed the other farmer? Perhaps all of
this wouldn’t have happened if I had received the rav's brachah."

Reb Yaakov Bardugo replied, "The other farmer said im yirtzeh Hashem. He mentioned Hashem's name,
Who is the source of all blessings. Therefore, I blessed him, and he was successful. But you didn’t mention
Hashem's name, and there are your results…" (Reb Yosef Adhan zt'l [who lived 250 years ago] brings this story in his
sefer Shufrei d'Yosef [p.437]. It happened to his grandfather, Reb Yaakov Bardugo zt'l.)

7. In Eretz Yisrael, a paystub is called a tlush (‫)תלוש משכורת‬. Another translation of ‫ תלוש‬is detached. This is
when one receives a set wage, and he relies on that, and he detaches himself from feeling dependent on
Hashem.

Obviously, we aren’t recommending that people shouldn’t take a job that pays a fixed wage, rather we are
encouraging people to remember that no matter what type of parnassah they have, they should turn their
eyes to Hashem, for Hashem is the one who gives parnassah.