1

The Naturals.
By Charles Way

Characters
Mule
Hen
Bobcat
Coyote

The play is inspired by the Grimm’s folktale-The Musicians of Bremen.

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 2

Enter S1 and S2

S1 It’s an old story

S2 But a new one.
S1 It’s a unusual story that’s for sure.
S2 About four unusual creatures.
S1 So-Where to start?
S1 At the beginning of course.
S2 Of course.
S1 And at the end too.
S2 That’s confusing-we’re here to make things clear.

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S1 To make things-happen.
[They make something happen- a picture of the desert- the crossroads]
S2 Where does it start then?
S1 In the west of the west
S2 Where it’s always hot
S1 And cold
S1+2 And wet
[ Music.]
Song-1+2 Its hot, Its cold and then Its wet
I don’t know why, Its what you get
Beneath the burning sun
Under the freezing rain
Inside a howling wind
In all kinds of terrible WEATHER.
[Thunder rolls lightning flashes and wind whirls.]
S2 Of all the lonely places in the west, The crossroads was the loneliest.
S1 There was nothing to see
S2 Just rock and sand
S1 Dust and distance.
In a desert land.
S2 And in the middle of that desolation.
 3

S1 Stood a beat up ol’ bus stop.

S2 The first creature to arrive was old Mule.
[Mule carries a bag over his shoulder- and a rope over the other]
S1 Who sang to himself as he trudged along.
Mule I’m a beast of burden
And one things for certain
I’m old and sore
Don’t want to live no more
Guess now’s my time
At the crossroads
By the bus stop ----it’s the end of the line.

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S1 He hung his head-closed his eyes.
S1/2/ Mule End of the line.
Hen Good morning.
Mule AH!
S2 Standing in front of him was
S1 A chicken.
Hen A hen-if you please.
S1 I beg your pardon. A hen-if you please.
S2 A colourful creature with a high voice.
Hen Hi.
Mule You near gave me a heart attack.
Hen Apologies. How do you--?
Mule Go away.
Hen Do.
Mule I ain’t in the mood.
Hen You in the mood for singing.
Mule I am not.
Hen And a fine voice you have too. I am also a singer of some renown back home-but I
had to leave home-oh home.
Mule You don’t need to tell me.
Hen And all I could take with me- was my talent.
 4

Mule Here we go.

Hen I ain’t got much
But I’ll be so bold
To say that I can sing
I can sing-I can sing I can SING.
Or so I’m told.
Hen My name is
Mule Don’t need to know that either. I’m a mule, you’re a chicken
Hen Hen!
Mule An’ we don’t need to know each other-not now not never.
Hen Ruffles.

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Mule What is?
Hen I am.
Mule What?
Hen Called Ruffles. Good to meet ya.
Mule You are a most annoying creature.
Hen I’ve heard that. Maybe you gonna catch the bus?
Mule No.
Hen What ya doing here then?
Mule Truly- I have no idea. Hey -wait a minute -you see that?
Hen Is it the bus?
Mule Ain’t no bus-but I can see dust rising.
Hen [From the opposite direction.]Wait a minute- You see that?
Mule Bus?
Hen No-I think it’s a -Its a
S1 Bobcat.
M+H Bobcat?
S2 Wearing shades.
Hen Oh my.
Mule I can’t see so well, but I think this one’s a
S2 Coyote.
M+H Coyote?
 5

S1 With a limp.
Hen Bobcat.
Mule Coyote.
Hen Coyote.
Mule Bobcat.
Hen You know how to spell trouble?
Mule Nope
Hen Me neither-but its coming.
[Bobcat and Coyote approach each other]
Bobcat You looking at me?
Coyote I was trying- but all I could see was a piece of nothing.

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Hen Oh no, no, no, no.
Coyote What are you doing- at my bus stop?
Bobcat Your bus stop?
Coyote I was here first.
Bobcat I can smell that.
What you limping for? Lost another fight?
Coyote I never lost a fight. What you wearing those shades for?
Bobcat Don’t you mention my shades. My shades are my business.
Coyote You scared of the sun?
Bobcat I ain’t scared of nothing.
Coyote What you wearing them shades for then- Bob?
Bobcat Don’t call me Bob—I ain’t no Bob.
Coyote Bobby de Bob bob
Bobcat And I ain’t scared of you- you, you-
Coyote Go on say it-say it
Bobcat Low down son of a mangy—
Coyote Say it
Bobcat Dog.
[They fight/ dance until Hen intervenes with a very high note]
S1 And that my friends
S2 Is how they first met.
 6

S1+2 The Naturals.

S1+2 Everybody’s got a tale to tell
And the one we’re telling you
Didn’t start so well
Mule In the desert
Coyote At the crossroads
Bobcat Where the bus stops
S1+2 On its way to the City.
Hen City.
S2 Wait for it.
Hen The Shining City.

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S1 The Coyote’s name was-
Coyote Wiley. [Coyote stares at Hen] Wiley Johnson.
Hen And you can take your greedy eyes off me Wiley. Same goes for you Bob-or
whatever your name is. This hen ain’t for eating-isn’t that right Mule?
Mule Oh that’s right-she’s for singing, not eating.
Hen Yes. I’m following my dream. You get that!
Coyote Alright. Alright.
Hen {To Bobcat] Alright?
Bobcat I’m cool -but don’t call me Bob. I’m not some country bumpkin Bob.
Hen What is your name then?
Bobcat My name I reserve for those dearest to me—my own kind.
Coyote Ohhh. His own kind.
Mule Will you two stop gnarling.
Hen Quite so-nothing wrong with some good old ‘country’ manners.
Bobcat Hey is that the bus coming?
Coyote No-that’s a big ol’ truck.
Mule Hen? What are you doing?
Hen Hitching a ride is all.
Mule You step back now Hen—I mean Ruffles.
B+C Ruffles?
Mule I’m telling you-get out of that road.
 7

[The truck rolls by at speed- and cartoon style Hen is flattened. Mule picks her up by the
scruff of her neck]
Mule That was a foolhardy thing to do. Could have got yourself killed.
Hen Why would that matter to you?
Mule What’s that?
Hen You sir have given up on life. I presume that includes mine.
Mule Well I --. Come on now, dust yourself down.
Coyote Tell you the truth Ruffles -I’m impressed.
Bob I thought you was crowbait for sure- but you went flat.
Coyote Like real flat.
Bob I never saw something go so flat.

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Coyote Like really flat.
Hen I’m aright. I’m alright-I’m just very keen to get to the city.
Coyote Me too.
Bobcat You too?
Hen [Looking down the road] On the bus.
Bobcat Me too.
Coyote Oh. How you planning to do that, Bobby de bob? It won’t stop for us.
Bobcat I’m going to jump on the roof, with all the fierce grace of my kind.
Coyote Me too.
Bobcat You too?
Hen But there’s four of us.
Mule Three. I’m going nowhere. This is the end of the line.
Bobcat You are one depressed Mule.
Hen The Bus -the Bus is coming.
Coyote I’m ready.
Bobcat I’m ready.
Hen But we can’t all jump on the roof at once.
Coyote I got an idea.
Hen Share Share.
Coyote I’ll jump on first -Hen jumps on second
Hen Its coming.
 8

Coyote Don’t call me Bob jumps on third[ with all the fierce grace of his kind.]
Bobcat One at time huh?
Coyote 1,2,3
Bobcat I’m cool with that. I’m cool.
Hen Wait-there’s luggage on the roof.
Bobcat 1,2,3
[The Bus comes by and they all three try to get on at the same time and fall down in a heap.]
Mule Haw haw-that was the funniest thing I ever saw.
[The luggage [Poss one box] from the roof falls and hits Mule’s ‘toe’ hoof]
Hen The bus-its gone. Gone.
[The luggage falls ]

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Coyote What is all this stuff? [What on earth is that?]
Hen Luggage. I tried to tell you but you wouldn’t listen and now the bus is gone. Gone.
Gone.
Mule Hey-that ain’t yours.
Coyote It fell off and it ain’t no one’s now. Finders keepers
Bobcat Law of the wild-but you guys being so domesticated wouldn’t understand
B+C The law of the wild.
Mule I understand stealing.
Hen It’s a drum.
Coyote It’s a guitar.
Bobcat It’s a thingy ma jig.
Hen Must have been some kind of musical band on their way to the city. [To Mule ] Hold
this and hit it. [ blow it- pluck it- depending on instrument.]
[She gives him an instrument ]
[The three start to strum , hit, blow whatever they have picked up and make a terrible racket]
[Silence]
Hen That was just-----------Wonderful.
Mule You think?
Coyote We stink.
Bobcat If we can’t play the things – what are we going to do with them?
Hen Who says you can’t play them?
 9

Coyote We could eat them?

Hen You can’t eat a drum-or a guitar.
Coyote Right now I could eat a whole orchestra.
Mule Besides-they’re not yours to eat.
Bobcat Maybe we could sell them. Make some money.
Coyote Buy some food.
Mule They ain’t yours to sell.
Coyote Whoa. A mule on a high horse.
Mule I know what’s right.
Bobcat I know how to survive.
Hen Well- what are we going to do? Mule?

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Mule ---Only right thing we can do-pick up these instruments – and start walking.
All Walking?
Mule To the city- and return them to their rightful owners.
Coyote Maybe they’ll give us a reward?
Bobcat I’m due one of them.
Coyote But it’s an awful long way. You guys- capable?
Bobcat Huh.
Mule I’ll survive.
Hen I think it’s a beautiful idea.
S1 So that’s what they did.
[They pile up Mule with as much as he can carry.]
S2 They started walking.
All+Coyote Through the canyons and the mesquite
Bobcat Through the live oaks and the thorns
Mule Until the big old sun went down
Coyote And the moon -oh the moon- Oh the moon -
Hen Shone bright.
Coyote Like a midnight noon.
[Coyote howls at the moon.]
Bobcat What you do that for?
 10

Coyote What do you mean? I’m a coyote. I howl at the moon- what else am I supposed to
do?
Bobcat Now every critter in the universe knows we’re here.
Hen Are we in danger?
Bobcat This is the wilderness. There’s always danger. Like that there snake.
Mule Snake? Where? Where?
Bobcat There, there.
Hen I don’t see any snakes.
Bobcat That’s cos you don’t have Night Vision.
Hen You got night vision?
Coyote Got a big head an’all.

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Mule What kind of snake is it?
[The snake rattles]
Bobcat That kind. Stay cool. Just move back-away from the sound. Now look and learn.
[Bobcat prowls]
Mule You be careful now. That snake can hurt ya- and I know cos I was bit once and my
master had to cut the poison out of my butt with the biggest knife you ever saw.
[Bobcat pounces on the snake and holds it up]
Mule Now that was impressive.
Hen And brave.
Bobcat Yeah. Guess.
Coyote One thing you gotta learn about a cat like Bob is they don’t do nothing for nobody.
He just did that for the pleasure of the hunt- be surprised if he’s even going to eat it.
Mule +H Eat it?
Coyote If you fell off a cliff that cat wouldn’t catch ya.
If you was in a burning house -he wouldn’t pull you out.
If you was half drowned he wouldn’t give you the kiss of life.
Bobcat That’s right Wiley- I’m never giving you the kiss of life.
Coyote I wouldn’t want you to give me the kiss of life.
Bobcat Good cos I ain’t gonna give you the kiss of life.
Mule Will you two stop.
Hen Yeah If you stopped your snapping, I’d have time to share my idea.
M+H+ C Your idea?
 11

[Coyotes howl in the distance]

Hen What’s that?
Mule Coyotes- a whole pack by the sound.
Bobcat Now I get it. I’d go as far as to say Wiley has led us into a trap.
Coyote That ain’t true.
Bobcat You howled first -led them straight to us- and now-
[The coyotes eyes glimmer in the dark.]
We’re surrounded.
Hen Oh Wiley.
Coyote Go on , think the worst of me. I’m used to it.
Hen What do they want?

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Coyote Food.
Hen But we haven’t got any food . Do we?
Coyote Not me.
Mule No. No food.
Bobcat Got this here snake.
Coyote Well they’re too hungry to be fussy. [Takes the snake] I’ll go and talk to them- play
for time. Hen-disguise yourself.
Hen As what?
Coyote Anything but a chicken.
[ She limps off.]
Bobcat Guess that’s the last we’ll see of Wiley.
Mule Last thing we’ll see of that snake-that’s for sure.
[They disguise Hen. The sound of the Coyotes barking as they eat]
Hen What do I look like?
Mule I ain’t got the words for that..
[Wiley enters.]
Hen Well?
Coyote We gotta give them something else or they’ll attack.
Hen Oh. We should run- run.
Bobcat I’m not running- not from her kind.
Coyote Then you’ll have to fight.
 12

Mule Fight?
Coyote The best way is to make yourselves real big-like some kind of monster, don’t turn
your back and make as much noise as you can.
Bobcat How’d you know all that?
Coyote Because Bob- I’m a coyote-and I don’t like it.
Mule Wait wait. No need to fight. I -I got some oats- and pecan nuts in my bag.
Hen Oh Mule- you lied.
Mule Well you gonna take them or not?
Coyote [She looks at the oats hungrily]
Mule Don’t you dare.
[Wiley limps off-]

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Bobcat Guess that’s the last we’ll see of Wiley.
Mule You were wrong the first time and will be again.
Bobcat And you lied. Mister do right. You lied.
[ Sound of happy eating and then howling. Wiley limps back on]
Coyote It’s alright-it’s alright.
Hen But why won’t they go away?
Coyote Well-- now they’ve eaten their full- they demand some after dinner entertainment.
Hen Entertainment?
Mule What do ya mean?
Coyote Coyotes are musical creatures.
Bobcat Could have fooled me.
Coyote Ruffles- this is your moment. You got your ‘costume’- so now you gotta sing- for your
life.
Hen For my life?
Coyote You and you grab an instrument- and do what comes natural. Okay?
[The Coyotes growl]
Hen Oh – my mind’s turned into cloud.
[They start a rhythm]
Mule Then make it up.
Hen Oh Oh. Make it up.
Make it up Make it up.
 13

Song [Starts slow] Once there was a lonely Hen

In a small backyard
She wasn’t loved
For who she was
On that old farm
Every day she gave them eggs
Without her they would starve
The farmer never thanked her
But said he’d like to CARVE
[Silence]
Her up--- For TEA,

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And so that little hen
Got sadder by the day
Bobcat Sing Pollita Sing [Strong rhythm]
Hen And In her heart she wished and wished
That she could fly away
But all that she could do was sing her sorrows away.
So sing Pollita sing
Sing when the going gets rough
Sing Pollita sing
Cos inside you are tough
Sing Pollita sing
Sing what’s right and real
Sing with all your heart and soul
What you truly feel!
Hen [Slow] And so that little Hen-
Ran away one day
Headed to the city
That’s what the stories say-
But did she ever get there
And fulfill her dreams
In that shining city
 14

That-gleams and gleams?

[The eyes of the coyotes fades]
Hen -----They’ve gone.
Bobcat That was cool.
Coyote That was not cool
Mule That was lucky.
Hen Lucky?
Mule No offence. I mean -I heard your song. I heard
Hen There’s no luck about it. You guys -are naturals. Don’t you see?
Bobcat See what?
Hen We could be the best musical band the shining city ever heard.

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Coyote A what?
Hen Musical band! The very best.
[Silence- then they fall about laughing and their laughs are very different]
Mule Are you serious?
Hen I’ve never been more serious. We put a spell on those wild dogs, and every time you
play you get a little better. You’ve got—instincts.
Bobcat Ruffles- I don’t want to disappoint you- but you may have noticed- what we got is
differences. Real differences.
Hen You won’t do it then?
Coyote He’s right- we ain’t ever going to get along. I don’t like Bobcats , end of.
Bobcat Or Coyotes. End of.
Hen Why?
Bobcat Why? Cos that’s what my Mama taught me. And I loved my Mama.
Coyote And I loved my Dad. A bobcat’s good for nothing he’d say. Not much brighter than a
mule- or a hen. Hmm.
Mule Don’t be downhearted Ruffles. It’s just the way things are in the world.
Hen Then I don’t like the world-and if I could I’d change it !
[Silence]
Hen If we’re going to be a band-we’ll have to listen to each other-
Bobcat Stop it with the band idea- It’s not gonna happen.
Hen If you could only-
B+C What?
 15

Hen Get to know each other.

Bobcat You’re more stubborn than that Mule.
Mule I’m not stubborn.
Bobcat And- there’s something you need to know. The city isn’t all you think it is. It ain’t so
shiny.
Coyote He’s right. it’s hard on paw and claw.
Bobcat Hard on the spirit too.
Hen Stop stop-I don’t want to hear any more.
Mule Well- maybe we should split right now. Go our ways-
[Silence-they look at each other]
Or-we could all just imagine this here is a big old camp fire and we’re sitting round it.
Like they do in the movies.

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Come on. You too Hen. [Campfire scene]-
Hen You’ve been to the movies?
Mule Master rode me to a drive through-big screen-and on it- cowboys sitting round a
camp fire.
[The imaginary fire becomes real ]
Like us now. And just imagine- we were all the best of friends.
B+C+H Huh
Mule And just imagine-I had in my bag four oat bars held together with honey sugar and
pumpkin seeds.
[He shows them ]
Bobcat Honey
Coyote Sugar.
Hen Seeds
Coyote You had those imaginary bars -all this time?
Mule I did- but that was then and this is now.
[They sit and pretend to eat.]
Now we’re not strangers. Now we’re creatures who know something about each
other. Not much- but something. Isn’t that right-Ruffles?
Bobcat What I’d like to know is-how come Wiley here didn’t run off with the pack. Her own
kind.
Coyote My own kind? Once I got this limp on me and couldn’t hunt properly. I got weak.
Then this bully turned on me- challenged me to a duel over nothing. If I fought that
duel I’d be dead- so I walked away. Guess that makes me a coward -in your eyes.
 16

Hen No, no. Life my friends-life is everything. Survival is victory. That’s what we said in
the farmyard. Where it was real true.
Mule Now just imagine I was to ask you- casual like -What kinda music you like Wiley?
Coyote Don’t know what its called- but [Sings]
Mule Jazz huh? You?
Bobcat I like a mariachi band- you know-[He vocally imitates]
Hen Musical theatre- Country- Gospel-Hip Hop. Stuff-I heard from the Kitchen radio- back
on that mean old farm.
Mule I like the blues.
Bobcat That’s cos you got em.
[They laugh- together. Mule starts a rhythm- they join in. Vocal impro. As it
continues-they pick up the instruments. They load up Mule without thinking and

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daylight breaks]
S2 They sang
S1 And talked until the sun rose-
Coyote There is one thing about the city Hen.
Hen What?
Coyote The Pizza.
Bobcat Oh , now your talking- Pepperoni Pizza
Coyote Pepperoni
Bobcat Hot hot hot.
Coyote Jalapeno
Bobcat Hot hot hot.
[They high five]
Mule Seems like you two have more in common than you think.
Coyote Well- we all got food in common.
Bobcat Right. Don’t mean nothing.
S1 And then they walked over a land of sharp stones
Toward a line of distant hills.
[Walking music]
Coyote This way-
Hen How do you know the way?
Coyote Cos I’ve got a miracle nose. Can smell almost anything-for miles and miles.
 17

Hen What can you smell now?

Coyote New things Ruffles-new things.
[The others walk on leaving Mule- who once more sings to himself beneath the weight of the
instruments.]
Mule Oh I’m a just a beast of burden
A beast who carries the load
No one asks my name- cos its all the same
If you are a beast of Burden.
Bobcat Come on Mule- you’re slowing us down.
Coyote Again.
Mule Oh I’m just a beast of burden

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A beast who carries the load.
Left to die by my master
Cos I couldn’t walk faster
Oh a beast of burden -whoooose old.
Hen Is Mule ok?
Bobcat Looks asleep- what’s he singing about?
Hen No idea. What on Earth-is that?
Coyote What?
Hen That-I mean -I can’t see anything.
Bobcat Guess you’ve never seen salt flats before.
Hen Never-
Mule [Catching up] What’s that?
C+B What’s what?
Mule I can’t see anything.
Hen Salt flats-guess you’ve never seen them before.
Bobcat Miles and Miles of salt- flat as a pancake.
Coyote And deadly to all living things-who don’t know the know how.
Hen We can’t walk across that.
Coyote I’ve done it before- and I can do it again.
Bobcat But there’s no water.
Coyote There’s water on the other side. I can smell it.
 18

Hen He’s got a miracle nose. Bob?

Bobcat I know that I could climb the mountains either side of this valley quicker than you
could cross those flats. Plenty of water up there.
Hen Stop, stop. We got to stick together. Don’t we?
Bobcat I like mountains-I got no need to risk my life crossing a desert-of salt.
Coyote Maybe you scared?
Bobcat How many times? I ain’t scared of nothing.
Hen But you can’t leave us.
Bobcat Why not? I’m a cat.
Coyote One of your kind.
Bobcat If they die out there- it’ll be your fault. Unless-you all want to come with me?

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Mule I can’t climb no mountains.
Hen Nor me-not in these legs.
Bobcat Too bad.
Coyote Guess its Adios Amigo.
Bobcat Guess so-I’ll see you on the other side.
Hen Bob? Come back- You can’t just go . Come back.
Coyote He’s a lone ranger Hen- always will be.
Hen Come back- please. He’s gone. Gone- just like the bus.
[Silence ]
Coyote Listen up. Best time to cross is at night-which should fall real soon.
[The sun goes down]
Mule That was real soon.
[The stage floor glitters]
Hen What is it?
Coyote The salt glitters in the moonlight.
Hen So pretty-like walking on stars.
Coyote Now get this rhythm /beat.
[S1 +S2 provide the beat]
Right? That’s the beat we walk to
And you don’t slow down
And you don’t speed up.
 19

Hen What happens if we speed up?

Coyote You die- so keep to the beat.
And don’t forget -
Song S1+2 There’s water on the other side.
Coyote That’s right.
S1+2 Water on the other side
Coyote Just keep steady as you go
Don’t speed up, and don’t go slow
And before you know
All There’ll be water on the other side.
Coyote That’s right.

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S1 +S2 They Walked all night, walked all day
Across the salty plain
Until their throats were dry as burning cane.
All Burning Cane
All Walked all day, walked all night
S1 +2 Until the sun rose high
And by and by
It stole their brains away.
[The sun burns down- shimmering sounds]
Coyote Don’t speed up
Hen Don’t slow down
I like biscuits
But I don’t like clowns.
Mule Habba Habba Habba .
Coyote And there’ll be pizza
On the other side.
[They sink to their knees one by one in the heat- and this is how Bobcat finds them.]
Bob What you all lying down for?
Hen Bob?
Mule That’s not Bob.
Coyote That’s a mirage.
 20

Hen A what?
Coyote He’s not real-we’re just seeing things that ain’t there.
Hen Why does this always happen to me? Me. Me. Me.
[Bobcat picks her up by the scruff of her neck]
Hen Oh hello Bob-its you, you. [Realises] YOU.
[She hugs Bob]
OR
[Hen Look-look I can see water. Water.
Coyote That’s not water. Don’t speed up
Hen But I can see it-shiny blue.
Mule I can see it too- a bluer than blue lake-

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Coyote Slow down- slow down.
Hen And I’m going dive right in.
Mule Me too. Me too
[Music speeds up as they run in slow motion and Hen and Mule dive and land with
a crash]
Hen Salt-its just salt.
Coyote Mirage.
Hen What?
Coyote Your seeing things which ain’t there. It’s the heat-turned your head around.
[Hen wails and Mule Moans]
Hen Why does this always happen to me? Me. Me. Me.
[She wails some more. Enter Bobcat]
Bobcat What’s all the wailing for?
Hen Bob-OH Bob. [She hugs him] Its you you you.]
Mule Well I’ll be.
Coyote Good to see you Bobby de Bob. What’s up?
Bobcat The Coyotes-they’re following us.
Hen Following?
Bobcat Saw them from the heights. About ten of them- Desperados, lean and mean.
Hen What do they want now?
Coyote Guess they realized they were cheated out of a chicken dinner.
 21

Hen HEN. Well let’s hurry on-slowly.

Mule Stop. I can’t go any further.
Hen Course you can.
Mule I can’t carry all this stuff . I just can’t.
Bobcat Well- throw away that bag-- and that old rope too.
Mule You leave my rope alone- that rope means something. Its these instruments- I can’t
carry any more
Hen Well why didn’t you say?
Mule Why didn’t you notice!
Hen Because Mule-you’re a Mule. You carry things.
Mule Is that all you see? A beast of burden?

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[A heavy silence]
You don’t even ask my name. None of ya.
Hen What is your name?
Mule Surefoot.
Coyote Good name- and I’m sorry, Surefoot.
Bobcat We’re all sorry-but we gotta reach water soon- and if you stay here those dogs will
be gnawing on your carcass. Fact of life.
Mule Alright. [He stands-just]What about the instruments?
Bobcat We could—leave them.
Hen [Outraged] Leave them? As in Leave them? I’m not leaving my dreams here-in salt. I
got more guts than that. [She picks up the instruments.]
Bobcat Guess we’ll have to share the load then..
Coyote Guess so.
Bobcat You just never tell anyone you saw me carrying anything.
Coyote You got it. And thanks for coming back.
[They hurry on- and as they sing- a blue light appears]
Song Don’t forget there’s water on the other side
Just keep walking-[nice and] steady as you go
Don’t speed up, don’t slow down
And before you know
There’ll be water on the other side.
Hen I can see water -
 22

Mule Is it real?
Coyote It’s real-It’s real.
[They collapse into the water with shrieks of joy]
S2 And they drank their fill, Like the creatures they are
S1 Each in their own manner.
S2 At the water hole-
S1 Of life
S1 And all they could do was laugh-
S2 Each in their own manner.
[The each in turn laugh their singular laugh]
And sing [play].

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Song [The creatures] Oh the water hole is a wonderful thing
Fills your soul and makes you sing
The water hole is cool and clear
Come down to the water hole.

Oh watch those humming birds hum by

Watch those warty hogs shake dry
They ain’t so shy when they drop by
To drink at the water hole.

Oh gather round you mare and foal

Fox and deer and desert mole
Cos every beast- and the big fat toad
Can drink at the water hole.
Hen You see- we really could be a band.
Mule I’m beginning to believe.
Coyote You mean - really?
Bobcat Why not Wiley-we come this far.
Song Oh the water hole is a wonderful thing
Fills your soul and makes you sing
Oh the water hole is cool and clear
 23

Come down to the water hole.

[A distant roll of thunder the sky darkens- and the first raindrops falls]
Coyote Don’t like the smell of those clouds.
Bobcat They do look dark.
Hen Do I feel Rain?
Mule No harm in a little rain.
[A nearer, louder roll of thunder [this is S1 +2 on drums?]
Hen My this country is so extreme.
Coyote We should be careful- don’t want to get caught in a flash flood.
[Another roll of thunder-closer now ]
S1 Suddenly- a little bit of rain

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S2 Became a lot more rain.
Mule Never seen rain like this.
S2 And the water hole which had been their friend
SI Just a moment ago
S2 Started to grow.
Coyote Don’t like the look of that.
Hen What’s happening?
S1 And before they knowed
That little muddy hole became
Bobcat [Warily] A river
S1 + 2 [sing] A MIGHTY RIVER.
Hen But we’re on the wrong side.
Coyote We gotta cross -NOW! Before it gets even bigger.
Bobcat No-No
Mule What’s the matter?
Coyote We gotta cross Bob- the Coyotes aren’t far behind.
Bobcat Then I’ll stay here and fight them. I am not stepping into that river.
Mule Come on Bob- you can swim that easy-with all the fierce grace of your kind.
Bobcat No!
Coyote Hen? Can you swim?
Hen I had lessons and the answers no.
 24

Coyote Mule? Can you carry us across?

Mule Too dangerous. I got a better idea.
You hold on to this rope-tie it tight up there. When I get to the other side, I’ll do the
same and then ‘one by one’- and I mean that, you pull yourselves across-above the
water.
Coyote Above the water?
Mule You don’t even need to get your feet wet.
Coyote Do it. Do it.
Mule Tie it tight now.
Hen Be careful.
Mule [The rope now in his teeth]Thanks for that.
S1+2 [Sung /spoke They tied the rope to a rock high above their heads

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And watched that Mule that sad old Mule try what he just said
He was old but he was strong
His feet were sure and his teeth were long
They stood and cheered that fellow on
Until he slipped in the rage an’ roar
And they all gasped-he sank for sure
But up he came against the tide
And there he was – safe and wet upon the other side.
Hen Yippee.
Mule Make sure the rope is tight now. Come on. Hen?
Coyote Just Hold on-like it was your best friend. And don’t look down.
S1+2 Off she went with a mighty squawk above the swirly water
Claw over claw she made her way-
With both eyes shut-and nerves all frayed
Until she reached the middle of that rope and prayed
[She yells]
She prayed with all her heart and soul
Hen Don’t let me die.
S1+2 But live to fight and sing another day
And then she laughed-
 25

Hen Ha ha ha
S1+2 And then she cried
Hen Agh
S1+2 Summoned all her strength Inside
and with a screech
Hen [Noise]
S1+2 Reached the other side.
Coyote She made it. Your turn.
Bobcat I’m not going. I’m not.
Mule Hurry now.
Bobcat No.

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Coyote But why?
Bobcat I’m-SCARED!
[The music slips to just the rhythm - a spotlight on Bobcat]
Mule What’s going on over there?
Hen Water’s rising.
Coyote I’m sorry-I’m sorry about anything I ever said . But I just don’t believe you scared of
the water. You’re not scared of anything. Your own words.
Bobcat Well- now you know the truth. You go on Wiley. Cos I can’t. I got a serious fear of
water. It’s a cat thing-and there’s no getting over it.
H+ M Come on-next one. Next one.
Bobcat Go on. Go.
[Wiley starts across]
S1+2 Wiley Johnson held on fast as muddy water rushed on past
Until a wave hit him hard upon the nose.
He swallowed more than he could chew
But up he came as good as new
Coyote I’m alright.
S1+2 He cried until the rope he held broke loose
Coyote Oops.
S1+2 And in slow motion like a dream
like a little leaf he went -downstream.
 26

Coyote Help Help.

Bobcat Oh No
Hen Wiley?
Mule Don’t go in -There’s nothing you can do.
Bobcat Hold on Wiley-Hold on.
[Bobcat rescues Coyote. As Hen and Mule pull them to the up they sing/Gospel.]
Song Hold on, Hold on, Hold on I say
Hold on to each other I say
Hold on to each other-
And don’t let go
Don’t let the flood wash you away.

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Hold on. Hold on. Hold on I say
Hold on to each other this day
The storm will abate
And better days will come
Hold on to each other I say.

[I say hold on to each other

And be each other’s friend
Cos in the end that’s all we got
To hold on to.]
Hen Is he drowned?
Mule Looks drowned.
Bobcat Oh no-
M+Hen What?
Bobcat I’m going have to give this Coyote -the kiss of life.
Hen Ew.
[He does so and Coyote splutters into Life.]
Coyote Bob? Is that you Bob?
Bobcat Huh?
Coyote Guess you ain’t scared of the water no more-hey Bob.
 27

Bobcat [Hisses]
Hen Well- what is your name then?
Bobcat Bob-you darned fool. First name Cactus. Cactus Bob.
Hen A name you reserve for those dearest to you.
[ The sun comes out-shines on the instruments-Hen cries out]
Hen Oh no.
Mule What is it?
Hen The instruments.
S1 It was then they realized
Hen We’ve left the instruments-
S2 On the other side

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S1 And as the river reached its height
Hen No. No!
S1 It bore those beautiful things away
S2 And they slowly vanished
S1 Before their weary eyes.
[ The Instruments vanish. Hen sits disconsolate, again]
Hen That’s it then-end of my dream.
Mule Least we’re alive – survival is victory?
[Hen nods]
Coyote Thanks to you- and that rope?
Mule I hated this rope- for so long. When I got slow my master used to beat me with it.
He tied me up for days on end- so I bit through it. [He holds up the frayed end] took
me some food and headed out.
Hen We’d have been a good band -I know it.
Bobcat The very best.
Coyote Yeah-
Mule Yeah-if you like fusion.
[They laugh]
Coyote Wait a minute.
All 3 Waiting.
Coyote All we gotta do is follow the water’s course-
 28

We’ll find those instruments washed up down stream

on some muddy bank- like magic. I bet my nose on it.
S1 And so they were. Washed up on some muddy bank.
[lights rise on the instruments]
Hen Like magic.
Mule Hallelujah.
Coyote Wait! Stay back Hen. Can’t you smell them?
[Hen sniffs her feathers]
Hen Ain’t that bad.
Coyotes Coyotes.
Mule Don’t they ever give up?

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Bobcat No- that’s why they are much admired.
[Coyotes eyes shine again]
Hen I’ve got a bad feeling about this.
[The Coyotes howl]
Hen Agh.
Mule You go talk to them Wiley-see what they want.
Coyote No need -they just told us.
Hen A real bad feeling.
Bobcat Well?
Coyotes They say we can have the instruments- in return for a certain Hen.
[Hen collapses]
Why do you think they call me Wiley?
Hen I don’t know.
Coyote Because I am. Ruffles-what’s the highest note you can sing?
Hen I don’t know that either.
Coyote Well-now’s the time to find out. Here’s the plan.
[They gather in a huddle and listen to Coyote, we hear ‘Monster’. ]
Hen That’s the plan?
[They nod]
Hen You want me to walk into the middle of them coyotes.
[They nod]
 29

Hen Like a sacrificial goat.

[They nod]
Hen And sing the highest note I can?
All That’s the plan.
Hen Okay- and then?
Coyote We turn defence -into attack.
Hen You better had.
Coyote Don’t look back and don’t run- cos they’ll chase ya.
Mule Good luck.
Bobcat We’re right behind you.
[ They tie or pretend to tie Hen’s hands She walks into the middle of the audience

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and the growls grow-then she sings a note to make everyone cover their ears. The
coyotes go berserk.]
All Attack!
[The naturals attack with sound making the most awful racket-running round. The Coyotes
start to yelp and howl at the awful sound- and at the climax as in the original tale the
animals with Mule at the base make themselves really tall and wide.
S1+2 Side by side and back to back that famous four faced the pack
With teeth, claw, hoof and beak, they fought like they were forty
Screeched and screamed
Bashed and banged
Kicked and bit
Yelled and sang
Punched and pecked
Scratch n clawed
Then together roared.

What a monster- what a din

Those coyotes couldn’t win
And pretty soon those dogs turned tail
And threw the towel in.
All Yippee Yi Yay
Yippee Yi Yay
 30

S1+2 The Famous four

Lived to fight again.
Hen We did it- We did it.
[ A yell of success. High fives all around. ]
Mule You are the bravest Hen in history.
Coyote Hey- I can smell something -on the wind.
Bobcat Yeah-smells like
Coyote The city.
[Silhouette of the city appears- Sound of the city.]
Hen We made it. We made it. The city.
Mule Bigger than I ever imagined .

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Hen The shining city.
B+C Hard on paw and claw.
Mule And taller-
Coyote Hey look at this. Pizza- just lying in the road.
Coyote Pepperoni?
Bobcat Hard to tell-looks like its been there a while.
Coyote So?
Bobcat Exactly. [They eat]
Coyote Box ain’t bad either.
Hen Hey! We can do better than that- now we’re a band.
We can earn our keep -play for our supper.
Bobcat Wait up Ruffles. Hey Surefoot.
Guess it’s time to return these instruments to their rightful owners?
Mule Hmm- I reckon we earned these instruments too.
Bobcat I reckon so.
Hen Yipee yi yay. Guess this is as good a place as any -for our first public performance.
Busy street- plenty of folks.
[They prepare]
Bobcat Put down that hat of yours Mule- watch the money roll in.
Coyote Okay-
[They start to play but Hen freezes. They stop]
 31

Mule What’s the matter?

Bobcat Ruffles?
Hen I can’t . I can’t.
Coyote But this was your dream. Singing in the city.
Hen I know but-now
Coyote And it became our dream too.
Bobcat We’d never have got here-without you.
Mule You know that-don’t ya?
Hen We got here because he’s got Surefeet. Cactus Bob has night vision. Wiley has a
miracle nose. What have I got? I can’t even fly.
Mule Ruffles -and I mean this in a good way-you’ve got a voice that can stop a freight train.

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Coyote With a voice like that you don’t need to fly.
Bobcat Your voice does it for ya.
Hen Really?
All Really.
Hen What shall I sing?
Mule Follow your mood. I mean--you’re a natural.
S1 And that’s when we first heard them play.
S2 We were just walking down the street.
S1 On the way to our club-
S2 When we heard singing-
S1 Like we never heard before.
Hen Oh I’ve got a friend in the south
A friend who loves me so
I’ve got a friend in the south who loves me so
And I ain’t see that friend for many a year
But I know I’ve got a friend who loves me so.
Bobcat That’s right.
Hen Oh I’ve got a friend in the North
A friend who loves me so
I’ve got a friend in the north who loves me so
And I ain’t see that friend for many a year
 32

But I know I’ve got a friend who loves me so

Coyote Bet you’ve got friends east and west too
Hen And one day we’ll meet again In a valley far away
Where the sun warms your face every day.
All Every day.
Hen And hope will stick around when my friends come on down
To that valley
All Oh that valley far away---
S1 They played for hours on that street.
S2 But no one dropped a dollar in the hat.
Bobcat Not even a dime.

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[Ruffles looked into the hat.]
Hen Hey wait a minute.
Mule What is that?
Hen It’s a business card.
Bobcat What’s it say?
Hen ‘Hello. We heard you songsters playing on the street and we wondered
S1 if you’d all like to come down to The Wibble Wobble club on 9th street this evening
and play for us. Costumes provided- cos you look like you just walked out of the
desert
S2 No offence.
Hen ‘Chubby Jones and Daisy Decker.’
S1+2 That’s us.
S2 And so they did.
S1 And the rest -is as they say.
All History
[ Their Costumes change]
S1 Welcome to the Wibble Wobble club-
S2 And to our very own wonderful house band-
The Naturals.
Song Hold on, Hold on, Hold on I say
Hold on to each other I say
 33

Hold on to each other-

And don’t let go
Don’t let the flood wash you away.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on I say

Hold on to each other this day
The storm will abate
And better days will come
Hold on to each other I say

I say hold on to each other

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And be each other’s friend
Cos in the end that’s all we got
To hold on to.
[They bow]
S1+2 Everybody’s got a tale to tell
And the one that we have told you
Didn’t start so well
Mule Beneath the burning sun
Bobcat Under the falling rain
Coyote Inside a howling wind
Hen In all kinds of terrible weather.

All And whether your skin

Fur or feather
I guess we’re all the same
Much the same
Beneath the weather.
END
Charles Way.
 34

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Bobcat Had three cubs- three small cubs-
The apples of my eyes
But I had no food to feed those sons
So one by one they set out for the city
They walked until the day they came
To the banks of a mighty river
One got across-and he was saved
One came home, but not the same
Because he saw his bother swept away
Drowned by the mighty river.
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