niily values” in, is the term iz ‘The Lonely, Good Company of Books Richard Rodriguez = N Narration * JE Istration and Exemplifcation From an early age I knew that: my mother and father could read and write both Spanish and English. [had observed my father making his way through what, I now suppose, must have been income tax forms. On oth- cet occasions I waited apprehensively while my mother read onion-paper letters airmailed from Mexico with news of a relative’ illness or death. For both my parents, however, reading was something done out of ne- and as quickly as possible. Never did I see either of them read an entire book, Nor did I see them read for pleasure. Their reading consisted of work manuals, prayer books, newspapers recipes... 2 Tnour house each school year would begin with my mother’s careful instruction: “Don't write in your books so we can sell them at the end of the year” The remark was echoed in public by my teachers, but only in part: “Boys and girls, don't write in your books. You must learn to treat them with great care and respect” OPEN THEDOORS OF YOUR MIND WITH BOOKS, read the red and white poster over the nunis desk in early September, It soon was appar- ent to me that reading was the classrooms central activity. Each course had its own book. And the information gathered from a book was un- ‘questioned. READ TO LEARN, the sign on the wall advised in December. 1 privately wondered: What was the connection between reading and learning? Did one learn something only by reading it? Was an idea only ‘an idea if it could be written down? In June, CONSIDER BOOKS YOUR [BEST FRIENDS. Friends? Reading was, at best, only a chore. I needed to look up whole paragraphs of words in a dictionary. Lines of type were dizzying, the eye having to move slowly across the page, then down, and across... The sentences of the first books I read were coolly impersonal. ‘Toned hard. What most bothered me, however, was the isolation reading required. To console myself for the loneliness Td feel when I read, I tried reading in a very soft voice. Until: “Who is doing all that talking to his neighbor?" Shortly after, medial reading classes were arranged for me with avery old nun, ‘THE LONELY, GOOD COMPANY OF BOOKS 231252 READINGS RICHARD RODRIGUEZ [At the end of each school day, for nearly six months, I would meet “with her in the tiny room that served as the schoot' library but was actu- ally only a storeroom for used textbooks and a vast collection of National Geographies. Everything about our sessions pleased me: the smallness of the room: the noise of the janitor’s broom hitting the edge of the long hallway outside the door; the green ofthe sun, lighting the wall; and the cold womaris face blurred white with a beard, Most of the time we took turns. 1 began with my elementary text. Sentences of astonishing sim- plicity seemed to me lifeless and drab: “The boys ran from the rain...She ‘wanted to sing.The kite rose in the blue" Then the old nun would read from her favorite books, usually biographies of early American presidents. Playfully she ran through complex sentences, calling the words alive with her voice, makingit seem that the author somehow was speaking directly to me.I smiled just to listen to her. Isat there and sensed forthe very first time some possibility of fellowship between reader and writer, a commu- nication, never intimate like that I heard spoken words at home convey, but one nonetheless personal ‘One day the nun concluded a session by asking me why I was 50 re- luctant to read by mysell. [tried to explain: said something about the way ‘written words made me feel alone—almost, I wanted to add but didn't, as ‘when I spoke to myself in a room just emptied of furniture. She studied my face as I spoke; she seemed to be watching more than listening, In an uneventful voice she replied that Thad nothingto fear. Didnt realize that reading would open up whole new worlds? A book could open doors for me.I eould introduce me to peopleand show me places I never imagined ‘existed, She gestured toward the bookshelves. (Bare-breasted African women danced, and the shiny hubcaps of automobiles on the back covers of the Geographic gleamed in my mind.) [listened with respect. But her ‘words were not very influential. Twas thinking then of another conse- quence of literacy, one I was too shy to admit but nonetheless trusted. Books were going to make me “educated.” That confidence enabled me, several months later, o overcome my fear ofthe silence. Infourth grade { embarked upon a grandiose reading program. “Give ‘me the names of important books” I would say to startled teachers. They soon found outthat had in mind "adult books” ignored their suggestions ‘ofanythingl suspected was written for children. (Notuntil | wasin college, as aresult, did Inead Huckleberry Finnor Alices Adventures in Wonderland.) Instead, read ‘he Searet Letter and Franklin's Autobiography. And what- ever I read I read for extra credit. Each time [finished a book, I reported React the achievement t Despite my best « books I needed to upon whole shelve Great Expectations entire first volum: Moby Dick; Gone » ‘The Lives ofthe Sai initially frowned » started saving boo rest of the class,” Richard obviously Butathome! your books?” (Wa: ing even healthy f venient excuse for Always, “What do What did Ise my academic suc In the sixth grade ‘was some major | bbe mined and me decided to record, reading Robinson tolive by onesel gor of “letting em: istic appraisals us ‘were really the so constituted the ot value of books. In spite of m came to enjoy th ‘mornings, 1d reac in the dawn quie churning of the re sounds of a city b brary to read, su: fine, I would take ‘warm summer ev Teave for vacationREADINGS THE LONELY, GOOD COMPANY OF BOOKS 233 I would meet the achievement to a teacher and basked in the praise my effort earned. bat was actu Despite my best efforts, however, there seemed to be more and more ion of National ‘books I needed to read. At the brary I would literally tremble as I came ve smallness of ‘upon whole shelves of books Ihadn't read, o Ivead and Iread and read: Ige of the long i Great Expectations al the short stories of Kipling; The Babe Ruth Storysthe wall; and the centre first volume of the Encyclopedia Britannica (A-Anstey); Ihe Mad: » time we took ‘Moby Dick; Gone withthe Wind: The Good Parth; Ramona; Forever Amber; tonishing sim- “The Lives ofthe Saints; Crime and Punishment; The Peart... Libravians who 1 the rain..She 5 initially fowned when I checked out the maximum ten books at a time tun would read started saving books they thought might like. Teachers would say to the can presidents, rest ofthe class, “T only wish the rest of you took reading as seriously as rords alive with Richard obviously does” veaking directly + Butathome1 would hear my mother wondering, “What do you seein orthe very first ; ‘your books?” (Was reading a hobby ike her knitting? Was so much read- rites, .comrmu- ing even healthy for aboy? Was ita sign of “brains”? Or was itjust a con- ‘home convey, ‘venient excuse for not helping around the house on Saturday mornings?) ‘Always, "What do you see.” shy Twas s0 re- s_ What did seen my books? I had the idea that they were crucial for about the way ry academic success, though I couldn't have said exactly how or why. ldbutdidrit, as In the sixth grade I simply concluded that what gave a book its value re, She studied jas some major idea or theme it contained. If that core essence could listening. Inan ‘be mined and memorized, I would become learned like my teachers. I sit Frealize that decided to record in a notebook the themes ofthe books that I read. After ‘open doors for reading Robinson Crusoe, wrote that its theme was “the value of learning never imagined to live by oneself” When I completed Wuthering Heights, Inoted the dan reasted African {ger of "letting emotions get out of contro” Rereading these brief moral- the back covers : jstic appraisals usually left me disheartened. I couldn't believe that they respect. But her i ‘were realy the source of reading’s values. But for many more years, they another conse- constituted the only means I had of describing to myself the educational “theless trusted. value of books. ace enabled me, 4 In spite of my earnestness, I found reading a pleasurable activity. | came to enjoy the lonely, good company of books. Barly on weekday program. "Give mornings, [@ read in my bed. Id feel a mysterious comfort then, reading teachers. They i in the dawn quiet—the blue-gray silence interrupted by the occasional heirsuggestions ' ‘churning ofthe refigerator motor afew rooms away or the more distant Ltwasin college, ‘sounds of a city bus beginning its run. On weekends Td go to the public in Wonderland) t brary to read, surrounded by old men and women. Or, ifthe weather was ‘phy. And what- fine, [would take my books to the park and read in the shade of tree. A book, I reported ‘warm summer evening was my favorite reading time. Neighbors would leave for vacation and I would water their lawns. would sit through the CO see234 READINGS RICHARD RODRIGUEZ ‘twilight on the front porches or in backyards, readingto the cool, whirling sounds ofthe sprinklers. also had favorite writers. But often those writers enjoyed most was least able to value. When I read William Saroyars Ue Haman Comedy, 1 was immediately pleased by the narrator’s warmth and charm of history. But as quickly I became suspicious. A book so enjoyable to read couldn't bbe very “important.” Another summer I determined to read all the novels, of Dickens. Reading his fat novels, [loved the feeling I got—after the first hundred pages—of being at home in a fictional world where I knew the names of the characters and cared about what was going to happen to them. Andit bothered me that I was forced away atthe conclusion, when the fiction closed tight, like a fortuneteller’s fist—the futures of all the ‘major characters neatly resolved. I never knew how to take such felings seriously, however. Nor did I suspect that these experiences could be part ofa novel's meaning. Stil, there were pleasures to sustain me after Td fin- {sh my books. Carrying a volume back to the library, I would be pleased by its weight. Td run my fingers along the edge ofthe pages and marvel at the breadth of my achievement. Around my room, growing stacks of paperback books reinforced my assurance. entered high school having read hundreds of books. My habit of reading made me a confident speaker and writer of English. Reading also enabled me to sense something of the shape, the major concerns, of Western thought. (I was able to say something about Dante and Descartes and Engels and James Baldwin in my high school term papers.) In these various ways, books brought me academic success as I hoped that they would. But I was not a good reader. Merely bookish, I lacked 2 point of view. I vacuumed books for epigrams, seraps of information, ideas, themes—anything to fill the hollow within me and make me feel educated. When one of my teachers suggested to his drowsy tenth-grade English class that a person could not have a “complicated idea” until he had read at least two thousand books, I heard the remark without detect- ing either its irony or its very complicated truth. I merely determined to compile a lst ofall books I had ever read. Harsh with myself, T included only once a title { might have read several times, (How, after all, could fone read a book more than once?) And included only those books over ‘hundred pages in length. (Could anything shorter be a book?) ‘There was yet another high schoo! list! compiled. One day I came across a newspaper article about the retirement of an English professor at a nearby state college. The article was accompanied by a list of the “hundred else books he ignore. 1+ to read al reading? jacket co with thes every wo Teonvine pride, Is. QuesTio 1 Rodrigue What ste cious on reading? How doe parents’: Why doe: cy impro ultimate! area “gor Both Fre: ships wit similarit) tudes? T so.why ¢ subject » Doyoure think wa your attthe cool, whirling enjoyed most was » Human Comedy, 1 charmofhis story. sle to read couldn't read all the novels got—after the first i where I knew the zoing to happen to conclusion, when « futures of all the stake such feelings ces could be part ain me after Td fin- would be pleased pages and marvel growing stacks of sooks. My habit of, F English, Reading ve major concerns, about Dante and :hool term papers.) success as I hoped F bookish, I lacked (ps of information, and make me feel lrowsy tenth-grade ‘ated idea” until he ark without detect- rely determined to myself, included fw, after all, could those books over a book?) 4. One day I came 1 English professor ied by a list of the READINGS THE LONELY, GOOD COMPANY OF BOOKS 235 “hundred mostimportant books of Western Civilization: "More than any- thing else in my life” the professor told the reporter with finality, “these books have made me all that I am!"That was the kind of remark [couldn't ignore. I clipped out the list and kept it for the several months it took me to read all of the titles. Most books, of course, I barely understood. While reading Plato's Republi, for instance, [needed to keep lookingat the book jacket comments to remind myself what the text was about, Nevertheless, ‘with the special patience and superstition ofa scholarship boy, llooked at every word of the text. And by the time I reached the last word, relieved, convinced myself that I had read The Republic. In a ceremony of great pride, solemnly crossed Plato off my list. QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER 1. Rodriguez begins and ends this article with a specific event, Wh ‘What steps does he take to go from being a struggling reader to a vora- cious one? What does Rodriguez come to love so much about books and, reading? 2, How does Rodriguez. compare his own attitudes towards reading to his parents’ attitudes towards reading? 3. Why does Rodriguez claim that, even after his comprehension and fiuen- cy improved, lie was not a “good” reader? How does Rodrigues. seem to ultimately define a “good” reader? By this definition, do you believe you ‘area “good” reader? 4, Both Frederick Douglass and Richard Rodriguez describe their relator ships with books and reading. What are some of the most interes ‘similarities and differences you noticed between these two authors atti- tudes? These two authors wrote over a century apart from one another, so why do you think reading and the author's relationship to books is & subject with such lasting importance? 5, Do yourecall your own attitude towards reading as a child? What do you think was the source of your attitudes towards reading, and how have ‘your attitudes and skills changed over time?