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 Chapter 6
Student: ___________________________________________________________________________

1. Which of the following best describes an argument in logic?

A. a difference in opinion
B. a personal interpretation of an issue
C. bickering over an issue
D. the use of reason and evidence to support a conclusion

2. Which of the following is true about issues?

A. Issues are always clearly defined.

B. Identifying an issue requires good communication skills.
C. Issues are always simple.
D. All of these answers are correct.

3. Which of the following would be inappropriate for a rational discussion?

A. a beautifully written and well-argued essay that makes many allusions to literature
B. a formal and unadorned presentation of an argument
C. a beautifully written essay on the literature of ancient Greece that only attacks the
character of a debate opponent
D. a well-written essay that focuses on presenting the results of a poll to argue that some
opinion is generally unpopular
4. Which of the following best describes a valid deductive argument?

A. an argument with two premises

B. a persuasive argument
C. an argument that provides just some reason for believing its conclusion
D. an argument that guarantees the truth of its conclusion if its premises are all true

5. Which of the following is a proposition?

A. the conclusion of an argument

B. a premise in an argument
C. Neither the conclusion of an argument nor a premise in an argument is a proposition.
D. Both premises and conclusions in an argument are propositions.

6. Which of the following is true of inductive arguments?

A. An inductive argument guarantees the truth of its conclusion.

B. An inductive argument attempts to provide support for the truth of its conclusion.
C. The conclusion of an inductive argument must be true if all of the argument's premises are
true.
D. An inductive argument attempts to provide a necessary proof of its conclusion.

7. Which of the following is a type of sentence that expresses a proposition?

A. directive sentence
B. expressive sentence
C. question
D. declarative sentence
8. Which of the following could be a descriptive premise in an argument?

A. "It is wrong to torture puppies!"

B. "How are you?"
C. "The Earth is the twenty-second planet from the sun."
D. None of these answers is correct.

9. Which of the following is a definitional premise?

A. "Dogs are like a good friend in that both are loyal."

B. "Stay off the grass!"
C. "Dogs have four legs."
D. None of these answers is correct.

10. Which of the following is true?

A. What is explained is known to have occurred.

B. Explanations can be given in terms of the purposes of an item.
C. Explanations attempt to provide an account of why something happened.
D. All of these answers are correct.

11. Which of the following is true?

A. Explanations are always reasonable.

B. Explanations appear only in deductive arguments, never in inductive arguments.
C. Explanations provide arguments for a conclusion.
D. All of these answers are correct.
12. Which of the following is true of conditional statements?

A. Conditional statements are arguments.

B. Claims follow from conditional statements.
C. Conditional statements take the form "If…then…".
D. None of these answers is correct.

13. Which of the following is a conclusion indicator?

A. because
B. since
C. if
D. therefore

14. Which of the following is a premise indicator?

A. therefore
B. since
C. or
D. thus

15. Which of the following is true of arguments?

A. All arguments are rationally compelling.

B. Some arguments do not explicitly state their conclusion.
C. All arguments are deductive.
D. No arguments are inductive.
16. Which of the following is true of arguments?

A. All arguments are clearly stated.

B. Good listening skills are sometimes necessary to clarify someone's argument.
C. Openness to the ideas of others can only serve to prevent you from understanding an
argument.
D. None of these answers is correct.

17. Which of the following best describes a sound argument?

A. an inductive argument that provides some support for its conclusion

B. an inductive argument that guarantees the truth of its conclusion
C. a deductive argument that guarantees the truth of its conclusion if all its premises are true
D. a deductive argument that provides support for its conclusion and has all true premises

18. Which of the following should any good argument do?

A. merely provide some evidence for a conclusion

B. provide irrelevant evidence for a conclusion
C. provide sufficient evidence for a conclusion
D. guarantee the truth of its premises

19. Which of the following best describes an argument in the context of critical thinking?

A. two people angrily disagreeing with one another over an important issue and calling each
other nasty names
B. attempting to provide rational support for a claim with a set of premises
C. the process of defending a deeply held belief without considering opposing evidence
D. None of these answers is correct.
20. Which of the following is true of rhetoric?

A. Rhetoric is based solely on opinion.

B. Rhetoric is a synonym for logical argumentation.
C. Rhetoric starts with a position then presents evidence supporting that position.
D. "Rhetoric" means the same as "issue."

21. Which of the following is true?

A. The purpose of rhetoric is to discover the truth.

B. The purpose of argumentation is to discover the truth.
C. The purpose of argumentation is to convince others of the truth of what you believe.
D. None of these answers is true.

22. Arguments cannot provide reasons for accepting a position.

True False

23. Identifying an issue requires good communication skills.

True False

24. The purpose of argumentation is to persuade others of your view.

True False

25. All issues can be reduced to two sides.

True False
26. In a valid deductive argument, the conclusion may be false even if the premises are all true.

True False

27. A strong inductive argument may have a false conclusion even if all its premises are true.

True False

28. All propositions are true.

True False

29. Propositions cannot be conclusions of arguments.

True False

30. "John, don't jump!" can be a prescriptive premise.

True False

31. Definitional premises always contain analogies.

True False

32. Explanations are not arguments.

True False

33. Some explanations are not as good as other explanations.

True False
34. Conclusions follow from conditional statements alone.

True False

35. "Thus" is a conclusion indicator.

True False

36. "Since" is a conclusion indicator.

True False

37. "Since" always indicates a premise.

True False

38. The conclusion of an argument is always stated or written down.

True False

39. If no argument can be provided to support a claim, then that claim must be false.

True False

40. If a person provides a good counterargument to your argument, you should revise your beliefs
in light of this.

True False

41. Rhetoric has no place in a well-crafted argument.

True False
 Chapter 6 Key

1. Which of the following best describes an argument in logic?

A. a difference in opinion
B. a personal interpretation of an issue
C. bickering over an issue
D. the use of reason and evidence to support a conclusion

In the context of logic and critical thinking, "argument" refers to the process of offering
rational support for a conclusion. This is done by making a number of claims (the
premises) that, taken together, provide evidence for another claim (the conclusion).
Arguments do not merely attempt to persuade; they provide adequate reason to be
persuaded.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #1
2. Which of the following is true about issues?

A. Issues are always clearly defined.

B. Identifying an issue requires good communication skills.
C. Issues are always simple.
D. All of these answers are correct.

In the context of critical thought, an issue is set of problems that people may disagree
over. Issues are not always clearly defined or simple, and so clear thought and good
communication skills may be needed to determine exactly what the issue at hand may be
before any serious effort can be made to resolve it.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #2

3. Which of the following would be inappropriate for a rational discussion?

A. a beautifully written and well-argued essay that makes many allusions to literature
B. a formal and unadorned presentation of an argument
C. a beautifully written essay on the literature of ancient Greece that only attacks the
character of a debate opponent
D. a well-written essay that focuses on presenting the results of a poll to argue that some
opinion is generally unpopular

Rhetoric has its place even in rational discussions. A well-written essay may still provide
evidence for its thesis if it also provides a compelling argument. But no matter how well a
speaker or writer makes use of rhetoric, if there is no rationally compelling argument in the
speech or writing, then that speech or writing has no place in a rational discussion. An
essay that only attacks the character of a debate opponent commits the ad hominem
fallacy, and so provides no compelling argument for its conclusion.

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 Chapter - Chapter 06 #3

4. Which of the following best describes a valid deductive argument?

A. an argument with two premises

B. a persuasive argument
C. an argument that provides just some reason for believing its conclusion
D. an argument that guarantees the truth of its conclusion if its premises are all true

A deductively valid argument is such that the conclusion necessarily follows from its
premises. In other words, if all the premises of a deductively valid argument are true, then
the conclusion is necessarily true as well. The following is an example of a valid deductive
argument: "If the moon is made of cheese, then the sun is flat. The moon is made of
cheese. Therefore, the sun is flat." Notice that none of the premises are true even though
the argument is deductively valid. Such an argument only requires that if the premises
were all true, then the conclusion would have to be true as well.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #4

5. Which of the following is a proposition?

A. the conclusion of an argument

B. a premise in an argument
C. Neither the conclusion of an argument nor a premise in an argument is a proposition.
D. Both premises and conclusions in an argument are propositions.

Both premises and conclusion are propositions. Propositions are complete thoughts. They
can be evaluated as true or false. When used as premises in arguments, they can be used
to provide evidence for other propositions (the conclusion of the argument).

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #5
6. Which of the following is true of inductive arguments?

A. An inductive argument guarantees the truth of its conclusion.

B. An inductive argument attempts to provide support for the truth of its conclusion.
C. The conclusion of an inductive argument must be true if all of the argument's premises
are true.
D. An inductive argument attempts to provide a necessary proof of its conclusion.

An inductive argument attempts to provide proof for its conclusion, but no inductive
argument however strong can guarantee the truth of its conclusion. Consider the following
example: I see several thousand crows and observe that each is black. I offer this as
evidence for the claim that all crows are black. I have given an inductive argument for this
claim. My observations provide good evidence for my conclusion, but it may still be the
case that there are some crows that are not black. (Indeed, some crows are not black!)

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #6
7. Which of the following is a type of sentence that expresses a proposition?

A. directive sentence
B. expressive sentence
C. question
D. declarative sentence

Propositions are statements that express complete thoughts. In other words, propositions
are what sentences express when the sentence is either true or false. Directive sentences,
expressive sentences, and questions do not have as their purpose conveying information
and so cannot be either true or false. And so they do not express propositions. Declarative
sentences are used to make claims about how things are. These claims can be true or
false, and so these sentences express propositions.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #7
8. Which of the following could be a descriptive premise in an argument?

A. "It is wrong to torture puppies!"

B. "How are you?"
C. "The Earth is the twenty-second planet from the sun."
D. None of these answers is correct.

A descriptive premise is a premise that is based on empirical facts. In other words, such
premises are statements of facts that can be observed through the senses. Descriptive
premises are propositions, so questions are not descriptive premises. Moral judgments, on
the other hand, are propositions, but are not verifiable using the senses. They too, then,
are not descriptive premises. A descriptive premise must be based on observations, but
observations can be misleading. Even a false claim, if empirically verifiable (or empirically
refutable), can be a descriptive premise.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #8

9. Which of the following is a definitional premise?

A. "Dogs are like a good friend in that both are loyal."

B. "Stay off the grass!"
C. "Dogs have four legs."
D. None of these answers is correct.

A definitional premise is a premise that consists solely of a definition. Typically, such

premises will be precising or stipulated definitions (since most people are aware of most
lexical definitions). Such premises can serve to sharpen a definition for use in the rest of
the argument. None of the provided answers is a definition.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #9
10. Which of the following is true?

A. What is explained is known to have occurred.

B. Explanations can be given in terms of the purposes of an item.
C. Explanations attempt to provide an account of why something happened.
D. All of these answers are correct.

Explanations are not arguments for a claim, but rather are attempts to provide an account
of why something occurred. An explanation begins with something known to have
happened and then attempts to understand why or how it happened. Some explanations
can be given in terms of purposes.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #10

11. Which of the following is true?

A. Explanations are always reasonable.

B. Explanations appear only in deductive arguments, never in inductive arguments.
C. Explanations provide arguments for a conclusion.
D. All of these answers are correct.

Explanations seek to provide an account of why or how something happened. Some

explanations are likely to be correct, while others can be very unlikely. If it were true that
intelligent life once existed on Mars, it would be a very good explanation of the existence
of canal-like structures on the surface of Mars. But it is unlikely that intelligent life ever
existed on Mars. How likely it is that an explanation is correct can change over time as
new evidence for or against the explanation is discovered.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #11
12. Which of the following is true of conditional statements?

A. Conditional statements are arguments.

B. Claims follow from conditional statements.
C. Conditional statements take the form "If…then…".
D. None of these answers is correct.

Conditional statements assert that if some condition holds, then some conclusion follows.
In other words, they claim that if one claim is true, then some other claim is true as well.
They are not arguments because they do not assert that the condition holds, and so
nothing follows from conditional statements alone. Conditional statements are often
important premises in arguments.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #12

13. Which of the following is a conclusion indicator?

A. because
B. since
C. if
D. therefore

Conclusion indicators are words or phrases that signal which claims are conclusions in an
argument. Typical conclusion indicators include "therefore" and "thus," since these words
mark claims as what should be believed on the basis of other claims.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #13
14. Which of the following is a premise indicator?

A. therefore
B. since
C. or
D. thus

Premise indicators are words that signal that some claim is a premise in an argument.
Such words include "since" and "because." "Thus" is typically a conclusion indicator, while
"or" is a logical connective that signals that at least one of the two connected claims is
true.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #14

15. Which of the following is true of arguments?

A. All arguments are rationally compelling.

B. Some arguments do not explicitly state their conclusion.
C. All arguments are deductive.
D. No arguments are inductive.

Arguments are sets of premises that provide support for a conclusion. However, in some
settings, the conclusion of an argument may not be stated, due to carelessness or the
belief that the conclusion will be apparent to anyone that has read or heard the argument.
Critical thinkers take special care to note what the conclusion of an argument is,
especially when the conclusion is not stated.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #15
16. Which of the following is true of arguments?

A. All arguments are clearly stated.

B. Good listening skills are sometimes necessary to clarify someone's argument.
C. Openness to the ideas of others can only serve to prevent you from understanding an
argument.
D. None of these answers is correct.

Arguments are often unclear. It may not be immediately apparent what are the premises
and what is the conclusion of an argument, and, even when this problem does not arise,
exactly what claims are made by the premises and conclusion may remain unclear. Critical
thinkers listen carefully to others and are open to new ideas so that they might, among
other things, clarify any unclear argument.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #16

17. Which of the following best describes a sound argument?

A. an inductive argument that provides some support for its conclusion

B. an inductive argument that guarantees the truth of its conclusion
C. a deductive argument that guarantees the truth of its conclusion if all its premises are
true
D. a deductive argument that provides support for its conclusion and has all true premises

A sound argument is a deductive argument that has all true premises and provides support
for its conclusion. If the argument is deductively valid and sound, then the conclusion of
the argument must be true. (A deductively valid argument guarantees the truth of its
conclusion if all of its premises are true. If such an argument is also sound, then all of its
premises are true and so the conclusion must be true as well.)

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 Chapter - Chapter 06 #17

18. Which of the following should any good argument do?

A. merely provide some evidence for a conclusion

B. provide irrelevant evidence for a conclusion
C. provide sufficient evidence for a conclusion
D. guarantee the truth of its premises

Any argument should provide relevant evidence for a conclusion that is sufficient to make
believing that conclusion rational. An argument may provide some evidence for a
conclusion without providing enough evidence to warrant believing a conclusion. In such a
case, an argument has failed its purpose. On the other hand, not all arguments need to
guarantee the truth of their conclusion. While this would be ideal, an argument has served
its function if it provides sufficient reason to believe its conclusion.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #18

19. Which of the following best describes an argument in the context of critical thinking?

A. two people angrily disagreeing with one another over an important issue and calling
each other nasty names
B. attempting to provide rational support for a claim with a set of premises
C. the process of defending a deeply held belief without considering opposing evidence
D. None of these answers is correct.

While the word "argument" can mean many things, in the context of critical thought an
argument is a way of providing support for a conclusion. This is done by laying out a series
of claims (premises) that, taken together, provide reason to believe the claim.

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Boss - Chapter 05
 Chapter - Chapter 06 #19

20. Which of the following is true of rhetoric?

A. Rhetoric is based solely on opinion.

B. Rhetoric is a synonym for logical argumentation.
C. Rhetoric starts with a position then presents evidence supporting that position.
D. "Rhetoric" means the same as "issue."

Rhetoric is the art of persuading us to accept a particular position. In English classes, it

typically refers to persuasive writing (rather than persuasive speech or particular
instances of rhetoric). While useful in discussion, rhetoric cannot be substituted for
rational argumentation.

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Boss - Chapter 05
Chapter - Chapter 06 #20

21. Which of the following is true?

A. The purpose of rhetoric is to discover the truth.

B. The purpose of argumentation is to discover the truth.
C. The purpose of argumentation is to convince others of the truth of what you believe.
D. None of these answers is true.

Rhetoric and argument differ in their goals. Rhetoric attempts merely to persuade others
by any means possible. The goal is to win an argument, in the sense of getting your
opponent to believe what you believe (whether or not what you believe is true). Argument
seeks to persuade others only if the conclusion of the argument is true and only by means
of providing rationally compelling evidence for the conclusion. An argument critically
evaluates claims and, in doing so, hopes to discover the truth.

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 Boss - Chapter 05
Chapter - Chapter 06 #21

22. Arguments cannot provide reasons for accepting a position.

FALSE

The purpose an argument is to provide rational support (reasons) for believing the
conclusion of the argument. Arguments consist of a set of premises that, taken together,
attempt to provide this support.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #22

23. Identifying an issue requires good communication skills.

TRUE

If an issue is not clearly identified, two parties to a disagreement may find that the
disagreement was really only a verbal disagreement all along. Clearly communicating and
understanding what others communicate are both essential to having fruitful
disagreements.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #23
24. The purpose of argumentation is to persuade others of your view.

FALSE

Arguments have as their purpose discovering truth through seeking out the reasons for
and against various possible claims. Arguments are often used to persuade, but the goal of
such arguments is not merely to persuade but to provide compelling reasons for accepting
a particular position. As such a person engaged in argumentation is open to changing their
views if another presents a more compelling argument.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #24

25. All issues can be reduced to two sides.

FALSE

Very few issues come down to only two sides. Reality is more complicated than that. When
someone suggests that an issue is either black or white, it is best to be skeptical of this
claim and look for other possible stands on the issue at hand.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #25

26. In a valid deductive argument, the conclusion may be false even if the premises are all
true.

FALSE

A deductively valid argument is one whose conclusion must be true if all the premises are
true; and so, if the conclusion is false, at least one premise must be false as well.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #26
27. A strong inductive argument may have a false conclusion even if all its premises are true.

TRUE

Inductive arguments only attempt to show that their conclusions are likely to be true. No
inductive argument can guarantee that its conclusion is true. As the philosopher Bertrand
Russell once noted, a turkey might present a strong inductive argument that a farmer is
his friend on the grounds that the farmer feeds him everyday. But this does not mean the
farmer is his friend. The turkey may still end up as a dinner for the farmer, despite the
turkey's strong inductive argument.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #27

28. All propositions are true.

FALSE

A proposition is a statement that expresses a complete thought. Propositions might be

true, but they might be false as well. For instance, the proposition that the Earth is a
planet is true, while the proposition that the Earth is flat is false.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #28

29. Propositions cannot be conclusions of arguments.

FALSE

Conclusions must be propositions, since conclusions can be either true or false. Premises
are also propositions. Statements that are not propositions ("Don't go there!" for instance)
cannot be conclusions, since they cannot be true or false.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #29
30. "John, don't jump!" can be a prescriptive premise.

FALSE

"John, don't jump!" fails to express a proposition. ("John, don't jump!" is not true or false.)
A prescriptive premise is a premise that expresses a moral proposition. For instance, "John
should not jump" could be a prescriptive premise in an argument.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #30

31. Definitional premises always contain analogies.

FALSE

A definitional premise is a premise that contains a definition. For instance, "Bachelors are
unmarried men" is a definition of "bachelor" and could also serve as a premise in an
argument. Such premises can be useful when a key term needs to be clarified in order
have a clear conclusion.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #31

32. Explanations are not arguments.

TRUE

An explanation does not seek to establish the truth of a claim, but instead attempts to
show why or how the claim is true. And so it presupposes the truth of some claim rather
than attempting to show that the claim is true.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #32
33. Some explanations are not as good as other explanations.

TRUE

Explanations vary in quality. Some explanations simply are not true. ("The reason I don't
have my homework is because my dog ate it.") Some explanations are true, but
uninformative. ("The reason I am an unmarried male is that I am a bachelor.") Some
explanations may be informative and true, but less informative than some other
explanations. (Compare "The reason I do not have a job is that the economy went bad"
and the more informative "The reason I do not have a job is that my employer has gone
bankrupt because her bank raised her interest rates due to the collapse of J. P. Morgan.")

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #33

34. Conclusions follow from conditional statements alone.

FALSE

Conditional statements are statements of the form "If A, then B." Nothing follows from a
conditional statement alone, so arguments must have more than a conditional statement
in order to support a conclusion.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #34
35. "Thus" is a conclusion indicator.

TRUE

Conclusion indicators are words or phrases that typically signal when a conclusion is being
drawn in an argument. "Thus" functions as a conclusion indicator in the following
argument: "I have seen many dogs with four legs. Thus, all dogs probably have four legs."

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #35

36. "Since" is a conclusion indicator.

FALSE

"Since" typically signals a premise and not a conclusion. It is a premise indicator. Consider
how it works in the following argument: "Since either John or Jill stole the artifact and Jill
could not have since she was with me, it must be the case that John stole it." Both uses of
"since" indicate reasons for believing other claims.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #36

37. "Since" always indicates a premise.

FALSE

While "since" is a premise indicator, it does not always function in this way. "Since" is also
used to indicate the passage of time. For example, consider the following claims: "It has
been many years since the president fell off his scooter."

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #37
38. The conclusion of an argument is always stated or written down.

FALSE

Writers and speakers often fail to explicitly state their conclusion when presenting an
argument. This can be due to carelessness, but often the conclusion that should be drawn
is obvious and, thus, left unsaid.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #38

39. If no argument can be provided to support a claim, then that claim must be false.

FALSE

There may be no good argument for even a true claim. To claim that something is false
because there is no evidence for it is to commit the fallacy of ignorance. The proper
response is to seek out evidence against the claim and to suspend belief if no evidence
can be found for or against the claim.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #39

40. If a person provides a good counterargument to your argument, you should revise your
beliefs in light of this.

TRUE

Critical thought is not a matter of seeking to establish the truth of the things you already
believe. Rather, it is a method of carefully seeking to find out the truth. If someone is able
to refute or at least throw doubt on your beliefs and arguments for those beliefs, then you
should, as a good critical thinker, look to revise your beliefs in light of the new evidence.

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Chapter - Chapter 06 #40
41. Rhetoric has no place in a well-crafted argument.

FALSE

Rhetoric is the art of persuasion. An argument must be well argued in order to be

rationally persuasive.

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Boss - Chapter 05
Chapter - Chapter 06 #41
 Chapter 6 Summary

Category # of Questions

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Boss - Chapter 05 4

Chapter - Chapter 06 41
Another random document with
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flapping his plump arms and caroling “They’re coming—they’re
coming,” which somehow started a stampede to the altar.
Adelbert was, in his girlish enthusiasm, almost as good as
Sharon or Elmer at announcing, “Tonight, you are all of you to be
evangelists. Every one of you now! Shake hands with the person to
your right and ask ’em if they’re saved.”
He gloated over their embarrassment.
He really was a man of parts. Nevertheless, it was Elmer, not
Adelbert, who invented the “Hallelujah Yell.”
Remembering his college cheers, remembering how greatly it
had encouraged him in kneeing the opposing tackle or jabbing the
rival center’s knee, Elmer observed to himself, “Why shouldn’t we
have yells in this game, too?”
He himself wrote the first one known in history.
Hallelujah, praise God, hal, hal, hal!
Hallelujah, praise God, hal, hal, hal!
All together, I feel better,
Hal, hal, hal,
For salvation of the nation—
Aaaaaaaaaaa—men!
That was a thing to hear, when Elmer led them; when he danced
before them, swinging his big arms and bellowing, “Now again! Two
yards to gain! Two yards for the Savior! Come on, boys and girls, it’s
our team! Going to let ’em down? Not on your life! Come on then,
you chipmunks, and lemme hear you knock the ole roof off! Hal, hal,
hal!”
Many a hesitating boy, a little sickened by the intense brooding
femininity of Sharon’s appeal, was thus brought up to the platform to
shake hands with Elmer and learn the benefits of religion.

V
The gospel crew could never consider their converts as human
beings, like waiters or manicurists or brakemen, but they had in them
such a professional interest as surgeons take in patients, critics in an
author, fishermen in trout.
They were obsessed by the gaffer in Terre Haute who got
converted every single night during the meetings. He may have been
insane and he may have been a plain drunk, but every evening he
came in looking adenoidal and thoroughly backslidden; every
evening he slowly woke to his higher needs during the sermon; and
when the call for converts came, he leaped up, shouted “Hallelujah,
I’ve found it!” and galloped forward, elbowing real and valuable
prospects out of the aisle. The crew waited for him as campers for a
mosquito.
In Scranton, they had unusually exasperating patients. Scranton
had been saved by a number of other evangelists before their arrival,
and had become almost anesthetic. Ten nights they sweated over
the audience without a single sinner coming forward, and Elmer had
to go out and hire half a dozen convincing converts.
He found them in a mission near the river, and explained that by
giving a good example to the slothful, they would be doing the work
of God, and that if the example was good enough, he would give
them five dollars apiece. The missioner himself came in during the
conference and offered to get converted for ten, but he was so well
known that Elmer had to give him the ten to stay away.
His gang of converts was very impressive, but thereafter no
member of the evangelistic troupe was safe. The professional
Christians besieged the tent night and day. They wanted to be saved
again. When they were refused, they offered to produce new
converts at five dollars apiece—three dollars apiece—fifty cents and
a square meal. By this time enough authentic and free enthusiasts
were appearing, and though they were fervent, they did not relish
being saved in company with hoboes who smelled. When the half-
dozen cappers were thrown out, bodily, by Elmer and Art Nichols,
they took to coming to the meetings and catcalling, so that for the
rest of the series they had to be paid a dollar a night each to stay
away.
No, Elmer could not consider the converts human. Sometimes
when he was out in the audience, playing the bullying hero that
Judson Roberts had once played with him, he looked up at the
platform, where a row of men under conviction knelt with their arms
on chairs and their broad butts toward the crowd, and he wanted to
snicker and wield a small plank. But five minutes after he would be
up there, kneeling with a sewing-machine agent with the day-after
shakes, his arm round the client’s shoulder, pleading in the tones of
a mother cow, “Can’t you surrender to Christ, Brother? Don’t you
want to give up all the dreadful habits that are ruining you—keeping
you back from success? Listen! God’ll help you make good! And
when you’re lonely, old man, remember he’s there, waiting to talk to
you!”

VI
They generally, before the end of the meetings, worked up
gratifying feeling. Often young women knelt panting, their eyes
blank, their lips wide with ecstasy. Sometimes, when Sharon was
particularly fired, they actually had the phenomena of the great
revivals of 1800. People twitched and jumped with the holy jerks, old
people under pentecostal inspiration spoke in unknown tongues—
completely unknown; women stretched out senseless, their tongues
dripping; and once occurred what connoisseurs regard as the
highest example of religious inspiration. Four men and two women
crawled about a pillar, barking like dogs, “barking the devil out of the
tree.”
Sharon relished these miracles. They showed her talent; they
were sound manifestations of Divine Power. But sometimes they got
the meetings a bad name, and cynics prostrated her by talking of
“Holy Rollers.” Because of this maliciousness and because of the
excitement which she found in meetings so favored by the Holy
Ghost, Elmer had particularly to comfort her after them.

VII
All the members of the evangelistic crew planned effects to throw
a brighter limelight on Sharon. There was feverish discussions of her
costumes. Adelbert had planned the girdled white robe in which she
appeared as priestess, and he wanted her to wear it always. “You
are so queeeeenly,” he whimpered. But Elmer insisted on changes,
on keeping the robe for crucial meetings, and Sharon went out for
embroidered golden velvet frocks and, at meetings for business
women, smart white flannel suits.
They assisted her also in the preparation of new sermons.
Her “message” was delivered under a hypnotism of emotion,
without connection with her actual life. Now Portia, now Ophelia, now
Francesca, she drew men to her, did with them as she would. Or
again she saw herself as veritably the scourge of God. But however
richly she could pour out passion, however flamingly she used the
most exotic words and the most complex sentiments when some one
had taught them to her, it was impossible for her to originate any
sentiment more profound than “I’m unhappy.”
She read nothing, after Cecil Aylston’s going, but the Bible and
the advertisements of rival evangelists in the bulletin of the Moody
Bible Institute.
Lacking Cecil, it was a desperate and coöperative affair to furnish
Sharon with fresh sermons as she grew tired of acting the old ones.
Adelbert Shoop provided the poetry. He was fond of poetry. He read
Ella Wheeler Wilcox, James Whitcomb Riley, and Thomas Moore.
He was also a student of philosophy: he could understand Ralph
Waldo Trine perfectly, and he furnished for Sharon’s sermons both
the couplets about Home and Little Ones, and the philosophical
points about will-power, Thoughts are Things, and Love is Beauty,
Beauty is Love, Love is All.
The lady Director of Personal Work had unexpected talent in
making up anecdotes about the death-beds of drunkards and
agnostics; Lily Anderson, the pretty though anemic pianist, had once
been a school-teacher and had read a couple of books about
scientists, so she was able to furnish data with which Sharon
absolutely confuted the rising fad of evolution; and Art Nichols, the
cornetist, provided rude but moral Maine humor, stories about horse-
trading, cabbages, and hard cider, very handy for cajoling skeptical
business men. But Elmer, being trained theologically, had to weave
all the elements—dogma, poetry to the effect that God’s palette held
the sunsets or ever the world began, confessions of the dismally
damned, and stories of Maine barn-dances—into one ringing whole.
And meanwhile, besides the Reverend Sister Falconer and the
Reverend Mr. Gantry, thus coöperative, there were Sharon and
Elmer and a crew of quite human people with grievances, traveling
together, living together, not always in a state of happy innocence.
 CHAPTER XIV

I
sedate as a long married couple, intimate and secure, were
Elmer and Sharon on most days, and always he was devoted. It was
Sharon who was incalculable. Sometimes she was a priestess and a
looming disaster, sometimes she was intimidating in grasping
passion, sometimes she was thin and writhing and anguished with
chagrined doubt of herself, sometimes she was pale and nun-like
and still, sometimes she was a chilly business woman, and
sometimes she was a little girl. In the last, quite authentic rôle, Elmer
loved her fondly—except when she assumed it just as she was due
to go out and hypnotize three thousand people.
He would beg her, “Oh, come on now, Shara, please be good!
Please stop pouting, and go out and lambaste ’em.”
She would stamp her foot, while her face changed to a round
childishness. “No! Don’t want to evangel. Want to be bad. Bad! Want
to throw things. Want to go out and spank a bald man on the head.
Tired of souls. Want to tell ’em all to go to hell!”
“Oh, gee, please, Shara! Gosh all fishhooks! They’re waiting for
you! Adelbert has sung that verse twice now.”
“I don’t care! Sing it again! Sing songs, losh songs! Going to be
bad! Going out and drop mice down Adelbert’s fat neck—fat neck—
fat hooooooly neck!”
But suddenly: “I wish I could. I wish they’d let me be bad. Oh, I
get so tired—all of them reaching for me, sucking my blood, wanting
me to give them the courage they’re too flabby to get for
themselves!”
And a minute later she was standing before the audience,
rejoicing, “Oh, my beloved, the dear Lord has a message for you
tonight!”
And in two hours, as they rode in a taxi to the hotel, she was
sobbing on his breast: “Hold me close! I’m so lonely and afraid and
cold.”

II
Among his various relations to her, Elmer was Sharon’s
employee. And he resented the fact that she was making five times
more than he of that money for which he had a reverent admiration.
When they had first made plans, she had suggested:
“Dear, if it all works out properly, in three or four years I want you
to share the offerings with me. But first I must save a lot. I’ve got
some vague plans to build a big center for our work, maybe with a
magazine and a training-school for evangelists. When that’s paid for,
you and I can make an agreement. But just now—— How much
have you been making as a traveling man?”
“Oh, about three hundred a month—about thirty-five hundred a
year.” He was really fond of her; he was lying to the extent of only
five hundred.
“Then I’ll start you in at thirty-eight hundred, and in four or five
years I hope it’ll be ten thousand, and maybe twice as much.”
And she never, month after month, discussed salary again. It
irritated him. He knew that she was making more than twenty
thousand a year, and that before long she would probably make fifty
thousand. But he loved her so completely that he scarce thought of it
oftener than three or four times a month.

III
Sharon continued to house her troupe in hotels, for
independence. But an unfortunate misunderstanding came up. Elmer
had stayed late in her room, engaged in a business conference, so
late that he accidentally fell asleep across the foot of her bed. So
tired were they both that neither of them awoke till nine in the
morning, when they were aroused by Adelbert Shoop knocking and
innocently skipping in.
Sharon raised her head, to see Adelbert giggling.
 “How dare you come into my room without knocking, you
sausage!” she raged. “Have you no sense of modesty or decency?
Beat it! Potato!”
When Adelbert had gone simpering out, cheeping, “Honest, I
won’t say anything,” then Elmer fretted, “Golly, do you think he’ll
blackmail us?”
“Oh, no, Adelbert adores me. Us girls must stick together. But it
does bother me. Suppose it’d been some other guest of the hotel!
People misunderstand and criticize so. Tell you what let’s do.
Hereafter, in each town, let’s hire a big house, furnished, for the
whole crew. Still be independent, but nobody around to talk about us.
And prob’ly we can get a dandy house quite cheap from some
church-member. That would be lovely! When we get sick of working
so hard all the time, we could have a party just for ourselves, and
have a dance. I love to dance. Oh, of course I roast dancing in my
sermons, but I mean—when it’s with people like us, that understand,
it’s not like with worldly people, where it would lead to evil. A party!
Though Art Nichols would get drunk. Oh, let him! He works so hard.
Now you skip. Wait! Aren’t you going to kiss me good morning?”
They made sure of Adelbert’s loyalty by flattering him, and the
press-agent had orders to find a spacious furnished house in the city
to which they were going next.

IV
The renting of furnished houses for the Falconer Evangelistic
Party was a ripe cause for new quarrels with local committees,
particularly after the party had left town.
There were protests by the infuriated owners that the sacred
workers must have been, as one deacon-undertaker put it, “simply
raising the very devil.” He asserted that the furniture had been
burned with cigarette stubs, that whisky had been spilled on rugs,
that chairs had been broken. He claimed damages from the local
committee; the local committee sent the claims on to Sharon; there
was a deal of fervent correspondence; and the claims were never
paid.
 Though usually it did not come out till the series of meetings was
finished, so that there was no interference with saving the world,
these arguments about the private affairs of the evangelistic crew
started most regrettable rumors. The ungodly emitted loud scoffings.
Sweet repressed old maids wondered and wondered what might
really have happened, and speculated together in delightful horror as
to whether—uh—there could have been anything—uh—worse than
drinking going on.
But always a majority of the faithful argued logically that Sister
Falconer and Brother Gantry were righteous, therefore they could
not do anything unrighteous, therefore the rumors were inspired by
the devil and spread by saloon-keepers and infidels, and in face of
this persecution of the godly, the adherents were the more lyric in
support of the Falconer Party.
Elmer learned from the discussions of damages a pleasant way
of reducing expenses. At the end of their stay, they simply did not
pay the rent for their house. They informed the local committee, after
they had gone, that the committee had promised to provide living
quarters, and that was all there was to it. . . . There was a lot of
correspondence.

V
One of Sharon’s chief troubles was getting her crew to bed. Like
most actors, they were high-strung after the show. Some of them
were too nervous to sleep till they had read the Saturday Evening
Post; others never could eat till after the meetings, and till one
o’clock they fried eggs and scrambled eggs and burnt toast and
quarreled over the dish-washing. Despite their enlightened public
stand against the Demon Rum, some of the performers had to brace
up their nerves with an occasional quart of whisky, and there was
dancing and assorted glee.
Though sometimes she exploded all over them, usually Sharon
was amiably blind, and she had too many conferences with Elmer to
give much heed to the parties.
 Lily Anderson, the pale pianist, protested. They ought all, she
said, to go to bed early so they could be up early. They ought, she
said, to go oftener to the cottage prayer meetings. The others
insisted that this was too much to expect of people exhausted by
their daily three hours of work, but she reminded them that they were
doing the work of the Lord, and they ought to be willing to wear
themselves out in such service. They were, said they; but not
tonight.
After days when Art Nichols, the cornetist, and Adolph Klebs, the
violinist, had such heads at ten in the morning that they had to take
pick-me-ups, would come days when all of them, even Art and
Adolph, were hysterically religious; when quite privately they prayed
and repented and raised their voices in ululating quavers of divine
rapture, till Sharon said furiously that she didn’t know whether she
preferred to be waked up by hell-raising or hallelujahs. Yet once she
bought a traveling phonograph for them, and many records, half
hectic dances and half hymns.

VI
Though her presence nearly took away his need of other
stimulants, of tobacco and alcohol and most of his cursing, it was a
year before Elmer was altogether secure from the thought of them.
But gradually he saw himself certain of future power and applause
as a clergyman. His ambition became more important than the
titillation of alcohol, and he felt very virtuous and pleased.
Those were big days, rejoicing days, sunny days. He had
everything: his girl, his work, his fame, his power over people. When
they held meetings in Topeka, his mother came from Paris to hear
them, and as she watched her son addressing two thousand people,
all the heavy graveyard doubts which had rotted her after his exit
from Mizpah Seminary vanished.
He felt now that he belonged. The gospel crew had accepted him
as their assistant foreman, as bolder and stronger and trickier than
any save Sharon, and they followed him like family dogs. He
imagined a day when he would marry Sharon, supersede her as
leader—letting her preach now and then as a feature—and become
one of the great evangelists of the land. He belonged. When he
encountered fellow evangelists, no matter how celebrated, he was
pleased but not awed.
Didn’t Sharon and he meet no less an evangelist than Dr. Howard
Bancock Binch, the great Baptist defender of the literal interpretation
of the Bible, president of the True Gospel Training School for
Religious Workers, editor of The Keeper of the Vineyard, and author
of “Fool Errors of So-Called Science”? Didn’t Dr. Binch treat Elmer
like a son?
Dr. Binch happened to be in Joliet, on his way to receive his sixth
D. D. degree (from Abner College) during Sharon’s meetings there.
He lunched with Sharon and Elmer.
“Which hymns do you find the most effective when you make
your appeal for converts, Dr. Binch?” asked Elmer.
“Well, I’ll tell you, Brother Gantry,” said the authority. “I think ‘Just
as I Am’ and ‘Jesus, I Am Coming Home’ hit real folksy hearts like
nothing else.”
“Oh, I’m afraid I don’t agree with you,” protested Sharon. “It
seems to me—of course you have far more experience and talent
than I, Dr. Binch—”
“Not at all, my dear sister,” said Dr. Binch, with a leer which
sickened Elmer with jealousy. “You are young, but all of us recognize
your genius.”
“Thank you very much. But I mean: They’re not lively enough. I
feel we ought to use hymns with a swing to ’em, hymns that make
you dance right up to the mourners’ bench.”
Dr. Binch stopped gulping his fried pork chops and held up a
flabby, white, holy hand. “Oh, Sister Falconer, I hate to have you use
the word ‘dance’ regarding an evangelistic meeting! What is the
dance? It is the gateway to hell! How many innocent girls have found
in the dance-hall the allurement which leads to every nameless vice!”
Two minutes of information about dancing—given in the same
words that Sharon herself often used—and Dr. Binch wound up with
a hearty: “So I beg of you not to speak of ‘dancing to the mourners’
bench!’ ”
 “I know, Dr. Binch, I know, but I mean in its sacred sense, as of
David dancing before the Lord.”
“But I feel there was a different meaning to that. If you only knew
the original Hebrew—the word should not be translated ‘danced’ but
‘was moved by the spirit.’ ”
“Really? I didn’t know that. I’ll use that.”
They all looked learned.
“What methods, Dr. Binch,” asked Elmer, “do you find the most
successful in forcing people to come to the altar when they resist the
Holy Ghost?”
“I always begin by asking those interested in being prayed for to
hold up their hands.”
“Oh, I believe in having them stand up if they want prayer. Once
you get a fellow to his feet, it’s so much easier to coax him out into
the aisle and down to the front. If he just holds up his hand, he may
pull it down before you can spot him. We’ve trained our ushers to
jump right in the minute anybody gets up, and say ‘Now, Brother,
won’t you come down front and shake hands with Sister Falconer
and make your stand for Jesus?’ ”
“No,” said Dr. Binch, “my experience is that there are many timid
people who have to be led gradually. To ask them to stand up is too
big a step. But actually, we’re probably both right. My motto as a
soul-saver, if I may venture to apply such a lofty title to myself, is that
one should use every method that, in the vernacular, will sell the
goods.”
“I guess that’s right,” said Elmer. “Say, tell me, Dr. Binch, what do
you do with converts after they come to the altar?”
“I always try to have a separate room for ’em. That gives you a
real chance to deepen and richen their new experience. They can’t
escape, if you close the door. And there’s no crowd to stare and
embarrass them.”
“I can’t see that,” said Sharon. “I believe that if the people who
come forward are making a stand for Christ, they ought to be willing
to face the crowd. And it makes such an impression on the whole
bunch of the unsaved to see a lot of seekers at the mourners’ bench.
You must admit, Brother Binch—Dr. Binch, I should say—that lots of
people who just come to a revival for a good time are moved to
conviction epidemically, by seeing others shaken.”
“No, I can’t agree that that’s so important as making a deeper
impression on each convert, so that each goes out as an agent for
you, as it were. But every one to his own methods. I mean so long as
the Lord is with us and behind us.”
“Say, Dr. Binch,” said Elmer, “how do you count your converts?
Some of the preachers in this last town accused us of lying about the
number. On what basis do you count them?”
“Why, I count every one (and we use a recording machine) that
comes down to the front and shakes hands with me. What if some of
them are merely old church-members warmed over? Isn’t it worth
just as much to give new spiritual life to those who’ve had it and lost
it?”
“Of course it is. That’s what we think. And then we got criticized
there in that fool town! We tried—that is, Sister Falconer here tried—
a stunt that was new for us. We opened up on some of the worst
dives and blind tigers by name. We even gave street numbers. The
attack created a howling sensation; people just jammed in, hoping
we’d attack other places. I believe that’s a good policy. We’re going
to try it here next week. It puts the fear of God into the wicked, and
slams over the revival.”
“There’s danger in that sort of thing, though,” said Dr. Binch. “I
don’t advise it. Trouble is, in such an attack you’re liable to offend
some of the leading church-members—the very folks that contribute
the most cash to a revival. They’re often the owners of buildings that
get used by unscrupulous persons for immoral purposes, and while
they of course regret such unfortunate use of their property, if you
attack such places by name, you’re likely to lose their support. Why,
you might lose thousands of dollars! It seems to me wiser and more
Christian to just attack vice in general.”
“How much orchestra do you use, Dr. Binch?” asked Sharon.
 “All I can get hold of. I’m carrying a pianist, a violinist, a drummer,
and a cornetist, besides my soloist.”
“But don’t you find some people objecting to fiddling?”
“Oh, yes, but I jolly ’em out of it by saying I don’t believe in letting
the devil monopolize all these art things,” said Dr. Binch. “Besides, I
find that a good tune, sort of a nice, artistic, slow, sad one, puts folks
into a mood where they’ll come across both with their hearts and
their contributions. By the way, speaking of that, what luck have you
folks had recently in raising money? And what method do you use?”
“It’s been pretty good with us—and I need a lot, because I’m
supporting an orphanage,” said Sharon. “We’re sticking to the idea of
the free-will offering the last day. We can get more money than any
town would be willing to guarantee beforehand. If the appeal for the
free-will offering is made strong enough, we usually have pretty fair
results.”
“Yes, I use the same method. But I don’t like the term ‘free-will
offering,’ or ‘thank offering.’ It’s been used so much by merely
second-rate evangelists, who, and I grieve to say there are such
people, put their own gain before the service of the Kingdom, that it’s
got a commercial sound. In making my own appeal for contributions,
I use ‘love offering.’ ”
“That’s worth thinking over, Dr. Binch,” sighed Sharon, “but, oh,
how tragic it is that we, with our message of salvation—if the sad old
world would but listen, we could solve all its sorrows and difficulties
—yet with this message ready, we have to be practical and raise
money for our expenses and charities. Oh, the world doesn’t
appreciate evangelists. Think what we can do for a resident minister!
These preachers who talk about conducting their own revivals make
me sick! They don’t know the right technique. Conducting revivals is
a profession. One must know all the tricks. With all modesty, I figure
that I know just what will bring in the converts.”
“I’m sure you do, Sister Falconer,” from Binch. “Say, do you and
Brother Gantry like union revivals?”
“You bet your life we do,” said Brother Gantry. “We won’t conduct
a revival unless we can have the united support of all the evangelical
preachers in town.”
“I think you are mistaken, Brother Gantry,” said Dr. Binch. “I find
that I have the most successful meetings with only a few churches,
but all of them genuinely O. K. With all the preachers joined together,
you have to deal with a lot of these two-by-four hick preachers with
churches about the size of woodsheds and getting maybe eleven
hundred a year, and yet they think they have the right to make
suggestions! No, sir! I want to do business with the big down-town
preachers that are used to doing things in a high-grade way and that
don’t kick if you take a decent-sized offering out of town!”
“Yuh, there’s something to be said for that,” said Elmer. “That’s
what the Happy Sing Evangelist—you know, Bill Buttle—said to us
one time.”
“But I hope you don’t like Brother Buttle!” protested Dr. Binch.
“Oh, no! Anyway, I didn’t like him,” said Sharon, which was a
wifely slap at Elmer.
Dr. Binch snorted, “He’s a scoundrel! There’s rumors about his
wife’s leaving him. Why is it that in such a high calling as ours there
are so many rascals? Take Dr. Mortonby! Calling himself a cover-to-
cover literalist, and then his relations to the young woman who sings
for him—I would shock you, Sister Falconer, if I told you what I
suspect.”
“Oh, I know. I haven’t met him, but I hear dreadful things,” wailed
Sharon. “And Wesley Zigler! They say he drinks! And an evangelist!
Why, if any person connected with me were so much as to take one
drink, out he goes!”
“That’s right, that’s right. Isn’t it dreadful!” mourned Dr. Binch.
“And take this charlatan Edgar Edgars—this obscene ex-gambler
with his disgusting slang! Uh! The hypocrite!”
Joyously they pointed out that this rival artist in evangelism was
an ignoramus, that a passer of bogus checks, the other doubtful
about the doctrine of the premillennial coming; joyously they
concluded that the only intelligent and moral evangelists in America
were Dr. Binch, Sister Falconer, and Brother Gantry, and the lunch
broke up in an orgy of thanksgiving.
 “There’s the worst swell-head and four-flusher in America, that
Binch, and he’s shaky on Jonah, and I’ve heard he chews tobacco—
and then pretending to be so swell and citified. Be careful of him,”
said Sharon to Elmer afterward, and, “Oh, my dear, my dear!”
 CHAPTER XV

I
it was not her eloquence but her healing of the sick which raised
Sharon to such eminence that she promised to become the most
renowned evangelist in America. People were tired of eloquence;
and the whole evangelist business was limited, since even the most
ardent were not likely to be saved more than three or four times. But
they could be healed constantly, and of the same disease.
Healing was later to become the chief feature of many
evangelists, but in 1910 it was advertised chiefly by Christian
Scientists and the New Thoughters. Sharon came to it by accident.
She had regularly offered prayers for the sick, but only absent-
mindedly. When Elmer and she had been together for a year, during
her meetings in Schenectady a man led up his deaf wife and begged
Sharon to heal her. It amused Sharon to send out for some oil (it
happened to be shotgun oil, but she properly consecrated it) to
anoint the woman’s ears, and to pray lustily for healing.
The woman screamed, “Glory to God, I’ve got my hearing back!”
There was a sensation in the tabernacle, and everybody itched
with desire to be relieved of whatever ailed him. Elmer led the healed
deaf woman aside and asked her name for the newspapers. It is true
that she could not hear him, but he wrote out his questions, she
wrote the answers, and he got an excellent story for the papers and
an idea for their holy work.
Why, he put it to Sharon, shouldn’t she make healing a regular
feature?
“I don’t know that I have any gift for it,” considered Sharon.
“Sure you have! Aren’t you psychic? You bet. Go to it. We might
pull off some healing services. I bet the collections would bust all
records, and we’ll have a distinct understanding with the local
committees that we get all over a certain amount, besides the
collection the last day.”
 “Well, we might try one. Of course, the Lord may have blessed
me with special gifts that way, and to him be all the credit, oh, let’s
stop in here and have an ice cream soda, I love banana splits, I hope
nobody sees me, I feel like dancing tonight, anyway we’ll talk over
the possibility of healing, I’m going to take a hot bath the minute we
get home with losh bath salts—losh and losh and losh.”
The success was immense.
She alienated many evangelical pastors by divine healing, but
she won all the readers of books about will-power, and her daily
miracles were reported in the newspapers. And, or so it was
reported, some of her patients remained cured.
She murmured to Elmer, “You know, maybe there really is
something to this healing, and I get an enormous thrill out of it—
telling the lame to chuck their crutches. That man last night, that
cripple—he did feel lots better.”
They decorated the altar now with crutches and walking-sticks, all
given by grateful patients—except such as Elmer had been
compelled to buy to make the exhibit inspiring from the start.
Money gamboled in. One grateful patient gave Sharon five
thousand dollars. And Elmer and Sharon had their only quarrel,
except for occasional spats of temperament. With the increase in
profits, he demanded a rise of salary, and she insisted that her
charities took all she had.
“Yuh, I’ve heard a lot about ’em,” said he: “the Old Ladies’ Home
and the orphanage and the hoosegow for retired preachers. I
suppose you carry ’em along with you on the road!”
“Do you mean to insinuate, my good friend, that I—”
They talked in a thoroughly spirited and domestic manner, and
afterward she raised his salary to five thousand and kissed him.
With the money so easily come by, Sharon burst out in hectic
plans. She was going to buy a ten-thousand-acre farm for a Christian
Socialist colony and a university, and she went so far as to get a
three-months’ option on two hundred acres. She was going to have a
great national daily paper, with crime news, scandal, and athletics
omitted, and a daily Bible lesson on the front page. She was going to
organize a new crusade—an army of ten million which would march
through heathen countries and convert the entire world to
Christianity in this generation.
She did, at last, actually carry out one plan, and create a
headquarters for her summer meetings.
At Clontar, a resort on the New Jersey coast, she bought the pier
on which Benno Hackenschmidt used to give grand opera. Though
the investment was so large that even for the initial payment it took
almost every penny she had saved, she calculated that she would
make money because she would be the absolute owner and not
have to share contributions with local churches. And, remaining in
one spot, she would build up more prestige than by moving from
place to place and having to advertise her virtues anew in every
town.
In a gay frenzy she planned that if she was successful, she would
keep the Clontar pier for summer and build an all-winter tabernacle
in New York or Chicago. She saw herself another Mary Baker Eddy,
an Annie Besant, a Katherine Tingley. . . . Elmer Gantry was
shocked when she hinted that, who knows? the next Messiah might
be a woman, and that woman might now be on earth, just realizing
her divinity.
The pier was an immense structure, built of cheap knotty pine,
painted a hectic red with gold stripes. It was pleasant, however, on
hot evenings. Round it ran a promenade out over the water, where
once lovers had strolled between acts of the opera, and giving on the
promenade were many barnlike doors.
Sharon christened it “The Waters of Jordan Tabernacle,” added
more and redder paint, more golden gold, and erected an enormous
revolving cross, lighted at night with yellow and ruby electric bulbs.
The whole gospel crew went to Clontar early in June to make
ready for the great opening on the evening of the first of July.
They had to enlist volunteer ushers and personal workers, and
Sharon and Adelbert Shoop had notions about a huge robed choir,
with three or four paid soloists.
 Elmer had less zeal than usual in helping her, because an
unfortunate thing had gone and happened to Elmer. He saw that he
really ought to be more friendly with Lily Anderson, the pianist. While
he remained true to Sharon, he had cumulatively been feeling that it
was sheer carelessness to let the pretty and anemic and virginal Lily
be wasted. He had been driven to notice her through indignation at
Art Nichols, the cornetist, for having the same idea.
Elmer was fascinated by her unawakenedness. While he
continued to be devoted to Sharon, over her shoulder he was always
looking at Lily’s pale sweetness, and his lips were moist.

II
They sat on the beach by moonlight, Sharon and Elmer, the night
before the opening service.
All of Clontar, with its mile of comfortable summer villas and
gingerbread hotels, was excited over the tabernacle, and the
Chamber of Commerce had announced, “We commend to the whole
Jersey coast this high-class spiritual feature, the latest addition to the
manifold attractions and points of interest at the snappiest of all
summer colonies.”
A choir of two hundred had been coaxed in, and some of them
had been persuaded to buy their own robes and mortar boards.
Near the sand dune against which Sharon and Elmer lolled was
the tabernacle, over which the electric cross turned solemnly,
throwing its glare now on the rushing surf, now across the bleak
sand.
“And it’s mine!” Sharon trembled. “I’ve made it! Four thousand
seats, and I guess it’s the only Christian tabernacle built out over the
water! Elmer, it almost scares me! So much responsibility!
Thousands of poor troubled souls turning to me for help, and if I fail
them, if I’m weak or tired or greedy, I’ll be murdering their very souls.
I almost wish I were back safe in Virginia!”
Her enchanted voice wove itself with the menace of the breakers,
feeble against the crash of broken waters, passionate in the lull,
while the great cross turned its unceasing light.