THE SALESMAN

ODE CLEMENT IGONI

CALM STORM Publishing (2020)

Copyright © Ode Clement Igoni

All rights in this play are strictly reserved and

application for performance, etc., should be made to Ode
Clement Igoni, c/o Calm Storm Publishing. No
performance may be given unless a license has been
obtained. Contact: [email protected]
Other books by the author available on obooko.com

POEM:
20th March
Green Words
Sonnets of a mortal
Sonnets from the heart
Repetition
Destiny: Selected Poems
Serendipity
Oblivion

PLAY:
Amotekun

STORY
In the slums: A trilogy
THE SALESMAN

A salesman prides himself at a train station, he boasts

he’s divinely blessed and best salesman in the world. He
gets into an argument with an old witch, their argument
escalates. The witch lays a curse on him that can only be
broken after his one-millionth sale. The old witch who
is a keeper of destiny dies on her birthday taking with
her the destiny of the salesman.
 CAST OF CHARACTERS

SMITH. 40, a salesman that prides himself as the

best in the world.
GRETEL. An old witch on transit, she is a keeper of
destiny.
VON DIRK. An entrepreneur who is on transit at the
train station.
APRIL. A lady that sells water at the train station.

JONES. A traveler

EXTRA
CLEANER
CLIENT 1
CLIENT 2
PASSERS BY
TRADERS
BUYERS
 1

ACT I
SCENE 1

Morning at a train station. SMITH arrive the station; he’s

exhausted after walking long distance.

SMITH (Leans on a wall at the station). I finally survive the night,

no food after a long walk. I would have listened to my
spirit and not embark on this journey, I guess me being
robbed is a punishment for my disobedience (He looks at
his torn cloths and scans through his pant.) Now I’ve got
nothing on me (He looks around the busy train station.)
I’m thirsty also, when life throws a dry throat at me, I look
for water to drink.

Smith looks around the train station, he sees a

kiosk and a lady selling water, he goes to the
kiosk. Smith arrives the sales point at the kiosk.

SMITH (to the water seller). Hello! (He stands upright.) I see you
sell water.
WATER SELLER. Yes, that’s what I’m doing here.
SMITH. Okay, my name is Smith Halo; I’m number one on the
next edition of Forbes best salesperson in the world.
WATER SELLER. Wow! That’s a very huge achievement in life.
SMITH. Yes I got there through hard work.
WATER SELLER (She brings out her mobile phone).What did
you say your name is? Let me check you out on google.
 2

SMITH. It’s Smith Halo; first give me a bottle of water to quench

my thirst.

The Water Seller hands a bottle of water over to

Smith as she goes through her phone.

WATER SELLER. I found it (She is amazed.) you really are a

great salesperson.
SMITH. Yea, while I was in my mother’s womb I almost sold our
umbilical cord, sad thing is there was no buyer. (He raises
his shoulder high.) I am divinely blessed and I know it. I
can sell anything like you, me and even the president.
WATER SELLER. Wow! How did you achieve such skill? You
must have been very brilliant in college.
SMITH. I didn’t attend college; I dropped out of high school when
I realized classroom was taking much time, time I would
have spent on the streets selling. One day I sat down and
calculated all my tuition fees spent, the figures were on the
high side then I saw college to be very expensive. I dropped
out and had to start doing what I know best, which is
selling things.
WATER SELLER. Is that story supposed to be inspiring? Well I
plan on going to college. I’ll work two more years selling
water after which my tuition fee for a complete study years
will be ready.
SMITH. That’s good for you; perhaps you’ll learn a thing or two
from me today.
WATER SELLER. Why are your cloths torn?
 3

SMITH. I got robbed the previous night; fate was on my side

although I barely escaped not being injured.
WATER SELLER. Sorry for your incident.
SMITH. Yea thanks, some days Murphy’s Law holds.
WATER SELLER. Teach me a few of your skills.
SMITH. How many bottles of water do you sell in a day?
WATER SELLER. The maximum I’ve sold in a day is ten bottles.
SMITH. I’ll teach you how to increase your sales when you ask me
properly.
WATER SELLER. What’s the proper way of asking?
SMITH. Say “The greatest salesman, teach me your ways”
WATER SELLER (She repeats after Smith). The greatest
salesman, teach me your ways.
SMITH. What’s your name?
WATER SELLER. My name is APRIL.
SMITH. Okay April, I’ll teach you how to make a fortune from
selling water. With the things I’ll tell you today, you can go
on to own a water production company.
APRIL. That’s great.
SMITH. Before we begin the class, get me something to eat, my
belle is empty and I’m weak.
APRIL. I’m sorry; I’ve not got extra money to buy you food.
SMITH. How much is a bottle of water sold for?
APRIL. It’s sold for a penny.
SMITH. Give me one bottle let me go sell it to that man (He points
to a traveler standing waiting for his train.) for three
penny.
APRIL. That’s impossible, can you really do that?
SMITH. Give me a bottle of water then watch what I’ll do.
 4

April gives Smith a bottle of water; Smith takes

the water and walk towards a traveler standing
waiting for his train.

SMITH (To the Traveler). Hello man, you need water.

TRAVELER 1. No I don’t (He turns and give Smith a warning
look.)
SMITH. You see (He takes a step backwards.) your eyes are red
man, you need water, you look really thirsty, aren’t you?
TRAVELER 1. Yea you’re correct, what have you got?
SMITH. I’ve got what you need. (He brings out a bottle of water
from behind himself.) This is water, the solution to your
problem.
TRAVELER 1. Thanks man (He reaches out to collect the water
from Smith.)
SMITH. Hold on bro! (He takes a step backward.) The water is
sold for three penny.
TRAVELER 1. That’s way too expensive for water.
SMITH. The more you think of the price, the more your problem
increases.
TRAVELER 1. That’s true; I’m starting to have a headache.
SMITH. I told you, you really need water now before you get
dehydrated and then faint.
TRAVELER 1 (He becomes scared). That’s true man; I don’t want
to be in a hospital. (He brings out three penny from his
pocket and gives Smith.) Take, I really need the water.

Smith collects the three penny from the man.

 5

SMITH. It was nice doing business with you. (He gives the
traveler the bottle of water he’s holding.) Have a nice and
refreshing trip.

A train arrive the train station; the traveler

enters the train and leave. Smith goes back to
meet April.

***Black out***
 6

SCENE 2

Daytime at the train station. Smith is showing April three

penny.

SMITH (To April). This is three penny; I told you I’m the greatest
salesman in the world. Here is your one penny (He hands a
penny over to April.)
APRIL (She collects the money).Wow! You are really good; I’ve
never seen a salesman like you ever.
SMITH. You can’t find any like me elsewhere; help me get food to
eat. (He hands two penny over to April.)

April collects the money, she goes to buy food

and bring to Smith.

APRIL. Here is the food, (she hands the food over to Smith.) when
you’re done we can start our class.

Smith collects the food from April; He opens it

quickly and starts eating. He eats like a hungry
Lion.

SMITH (while eating). Yes I’ll teach you a few of my sales trick
but we’ll have to enter into an agreement. I’ll sell some
more of your bottle water to travelers so I can raise money
to continue my journey out of this place.
APRIL. I’m cool with it, as long as I get my water sold.
SMITH (still eating). So we share the profits 50-50?
 7

APRIL. No, let’s do it this way. You sell the water with an
additional one penny which makes it one penny for me and
one penny for you.
SMITH. I can sell a bottle of water for ten penny.
APRIL. No! (She exclaims.) That’s an outrageous price, it’s worse
than bank robbery in day time.
SMITH. I’m the best salesman in the world; I can sell anything at
any price.
APRIL. I’ve got a conscience; we’ll sell a bottle of water for 2
penny.
SMITH. That’s fine; I’ll sell it for 2 penny. (He finishes eating his
food.) I’m set to go make some sales.

April counts some bottle of water and pushes it to

Smith; He takes up the water and goes to meet
travelers standing waiting for their next train.
Smith walks up to a traveler, a woman in her
early 50’s.

SMITH (To Traveler 2). Hello! Here is water for you and your
family back at home.
TRAVELER 2 (She gives a smile). Thanks but I and my family
don’t need your water.
SMITH. I know you’re not sure, I know you’ve got problems.
TRAVELER 2. We all got problems at one time or the other.
SMITH. This water I’m holding solves problems.
TRAVELER 2 (She picks interest in what Smith is saying). You
mean a bottle of water can solve problems? What kind of
problem does it solve?
 8

SMITH. If you drink this water it can solve the problem of

uncontrollable anger.
TRAVELER 2 (She’s amaze). Are you for real? My uncontrollable
anger has made me lose so many things in life. I’m
divorced because my Ex-husband couldn’t stand my anger
anymore.
SMITH. You really need this water for you and your family.
TRAVELER 2. You’re correct; my kids are beginning to develop
uncontrollable anger too. I’ll have to buy this water to solve
the problem. How many bottles solve the problem?
SMITH. Ten bottles for a start if you see changes then you can
come back here and buy some more.
TRAVELER 2. How much is a bottle sold for?
SMITH. One bottle goes for two penny, so twenty penny for ten.

The Traveler brings out twenty penny and gives

to Smith.

SMITH (He collects the money). It’s nice doing business with you.
(He gives the traveler two bottles of water he’s holding.)
Let me get the rest bottles for you, I can’t carry all ten at
once.
TRAVELER 2. Okay.

Smith quickly goes to April’s kiosk, he carries

some bottle of water and give the Traveler, He
goes back a second time.
 9

SMITH. Here are the remaining bottles to complete your order.

(He gives the Traveler three bottles of water.)
TRAVELER 2. Thank you for giving me a solution to my
problems.
SMITH. I solve problems for a living that’s why I’m the best
salesman that has walked this earth.
TRAVELER 2. Really?
SMITH. Yes, there is none before me and there will be none after
me, I’m the greatest.
TRAVELER 2. How did you become so great?
SMITH. I’m divine

A train arrive the station.

TRAVELER 2. That’s my next train.

The Traveler enters her next train and leaves the

station.

SMITH. Tell everyone I’m the greatest. (He waves the woman as
her train goes.)

Smith goes back to April’s kiosk, April is amazed

at how Smith sells the water quickly, He comes
back to take some more bottles.

APRIL (To Smith). Can we have a break Smith; you’ve already

sold more than what I sell in three days. (She holds Smith.)
The greatest Salesman, teach me your ways.
SMITH (He pause). I think we should take a break.
 10

APRIL. We’ve sold over twenty eight bottles of water; I came with
thirty five bottles. Teach me your selling magic.
SMITH. Yea, it’s actually a magic cause it works. (He changes
tone.) It’s a secret that was given to me from my birth. You
may think I’m to give a very long lecture of essay that
could be titled “TIPS OF BECOMING THE BEST
SALESMAN IN THE WORLD” nah! It’s nothing like that,
I won’t even have the strength to write down any essays or
book stuffs like that, I just go on to make sales and there is
not a sale I have missed. You know, like when a Lion spots
his prey, the way he stares and plan ways to go for the kill,
that’s how sales is to me, but the secret is the magic, that is
why I am the best in the world and number one on every
list.
APRIL. Wow! (She’s amaze) This is quite a long speech you just
gave and still didn’t tell me the secret.
SMITH. Yea! I didn’t tell you the secret because it’s a secret.
APRIL. But I’ve been helpful to you today, that’s unfair!
SMITH (He pauses and thinks). That’s true; you’ve been helpful to
me, okay! I’ll go on to tell you the secret.
APRIL. Yes please. (She pays close attention.)
SMITH. The secret is I sell to the soul of the person (He bites his
finger nail.)
APRIL. Hey man! I don’t understand what you just said, that is
never possible.
SMITH. It is what it is, every prospective buyer is a soul, and I
deal with souls, body is overrated.
APRIL. That’s deep, are you a spiritualist?
 11

SMITH. Sort of, but I’m human right? I got hungry a couple of
hours ago before I used my secret in getting food.
APRIL. I’m sure this is never taught in any college, I’m still
finding it hard to believe it’s possible to sell to the soul.
SMITH. Well I don’t really collect cash from the soul; the thing is
the soul controls the mind and then the body.
APRIL. Goosebumps just came out on my skin, so you mean the
secret is selling to the soul? How do I get to talk with the
soul of the prospective buyer?
SMITH. Now that’s the tricky part of the secret and it
differentiates me from every other sales person. We all got
fears, joy, most importantly we all got problems. The body
has a problem, the mind has got problems but the soul is
always free, I only let the soul know the problems the body
and mind is facing, the soul hears through the ears of the
body. There’s only one sale I’ve lost and that was when I
tried selling to a deaf person, on that day I realized
something new. So back to the trick, through the ears I tell
the solution to the problem the mind and body is facing, I
tell the soul the price and there goes my sale. (He raises his
hands and turn around.) I love the soul.

April is giving a long stare at Smith, she looks

amazed same time in disbelieve.
APRIL. I still don’t believe this strategy in marketing works.
SMITH. How many bottles of water are left?
APRIL. I got 6 bottles left.
SMITH. Just that?
APRIL. Yea.
 12

SMITH. What’s left can’t get me out of here, let me go check how
much it’ll cost me to my final destination.
APRIL. Okay, there’s someone at the ticket sales shop.
SMITH. Yea.

Smith goes to the ticket sales shop at the train

station.
Smith arrive at the train station ticket sales shop,
he is the next person on the queue a man is
seated at a table inside the shop. It gets to
Smith’s turn.

SMITH. Hello man.

TICKET SALESMAN. Hello, you’re welcome what’s your
destination?
SMITH. Claremont station.
TICKET SALESMAN. How many passengers?
SMITH. One.
TICKET SALESMAN. A ticket cost 65 penny.
SMITH. Wow! I haven’t got that yet. (He quickly leaves the ticket
sales shop.) Thanks man.

Smith goes back to April’s kiosk.

Smith arrive APRIL’s kiosk.

SMITH (To April). Did train ticket prices have a hike?

APRIL (she laughs). How much does your trip cost?
SMITH. 65 penny.
APRIL. Wow! Seems there was a hike in the prices.
 13

SMITH. And its 6 bottles of water left. (He pauses and thinks)
How much money have we made from my sales?
APRIL (She counts the money in her hand). 34 penny, so I take out
space rental, we’ve got 30 penny.
SMITH. And how much belongs to me?
APRIL. Your share is 15 penny.
SMITH. That’s poor, means I’ll need extra 50 penny to get out of
this train station.
APRIL. Yea! Probably!
SMITH. And just 6 bottles of water left, I’ll sell each of the bottle
water for 10 penny.
APRIL. No, you’ll sell for 2 penny or don’t sell.
SMITH. I’ve given you my secret, now you begin to act rude.
APRIL. No, I’m not being rude or whatever you may think. I’ve
got conscience; I can’t sell bottle water worth 1 penny for
10 penny. I’ll have sleepless nights.
SMITH. That’s the only way I can get out of this place.
APRIL. We’ve had a long day together; I appreciate what you’ve
done, giving me your selling secrets. I’m tired and
beginning to have a headache, I need to go back home. Do
have a nice day.

April packs the remaining bottle water into her

kiosk, locks up and leaves the train station.

SMITH. She really left me behind stranded, after taking away the
Knowledge of what makes me the best. I shouldn’t have
told her, I keep disobeying my inner man, punished a
 14

second time, I’ve got a new challenge now (He looks

around the train station.) How do I get out of here?

***Black out***

SCENE 3
Daytime at the train station. Smith is standing at a corner
giving an open lecture on marketing to any traveler that
cares to listen to what he is saying.

SMITH. You can’t grow a business without sales and the engine
behind sales are the sales person, well I’m the best
salesman in the world, you can check out the name in the
cloud Smith Halo.

A Traveler named VON DIRK picks interest in

Smith’s open lecture and checks the name on the
internet, He sees Smith Halo as the best
Salesman.

VON DIRK. Is he the real Smith Halo, (He looks at the image of
Smith on his phone.) Wow! He’s the same Salesman.

Just as Von Dirk decides to go closer to Smith he

hears a whisper saying “Don’t go”
Von Dirk looks around and sees and old Woman
called GRETEL who has been at the train
station for long hours.
 15

VON DIRK (To Gretel). talking to me?

GRETEL (she nods her head). Yes!

Smith sees Gretel stopping Von Dirk from coming to his

direction. He approaches them.

SMITH (To Gretel). Hey old Woman, why are you stopping him?
GRETEL. To save him (To Von Dirk.) Don’t meet that man; He’ll
cause your downfall.
VON DIRK (To Gretel) I’ll just go asks him a few questions.

Von Dirk goes to meet Smith

VON DIRK (To Smith). Hey man, I’ve been hearing all what
you’ve said concerning sales.
SMITH. You’re welcome, just on time. What did the old woman
say to you?
VON DIRK. She was trying to stop me from coming to you, she
didn’t say much.
SMITH. Okay, are you into marketing or product sales? Or you
want to learn from me the greatest of all.
VON DIRK. None of that, my name is Von Dirk, chief executive
officer at Grand West Private Company. I’m into
manufacturing. I actually came to you concerning our new
product release into the market. I checked you out on the
internet, you’re really high up the sales man ladder, I see
your name at the Top.
SMITH (He gives a little Smile). Yea I’m the best, none like me,
none before me, probably none after me.
 16

They both laugh.

VON DIRK. You can’t stay up the ladder forever, we all come
down Someday. Like I said, we’re releasing a new product
and it’s going to be the best. If you were a Competitor in
same industry as us, our product will push yours away from
being the best because ours will be number 1 for many
years to come.
SMITH. That’s interesting, what Product are you releasing?
VON DIRK. We invented and developed a special type of
Ventilators; our Ventilators make use of the natural air we
breathe as its basic source. (He Pauses) it’s state of the art
and also mobile so you don’t always need to be on a bed
while breathing. (He pauses again.) Pocket friendly. (He
gives a smile.)
SMITH. That’s impressive, really amazing. Are there any Patents?
VON DIRK. Yea, fully covered production line, we’ve got
insurance also. I want to bring you in to lead sales
department.
SMITH. Cool, so what’s your deal? Full office time? 9am-5pm or
partnership?
VON DIRK. None of that, commission per unit sales. Each unit is
being sold for 500 penny; your commission per sale will be
60 penny. That is the best deal.
SMITH (quickly thinks). That’s fair because I don’t have an idea of
your production cost.

Gretel walks slowly towards Von Dirk and Smith.

 17

VON DIRK. Yea, major budget went to research & development.

SMITH. Alright deal; can you do me a quick favor?
VON DIRK. Yea what’s it?
SMITH. I got robbed the previous night, that’s why I look tattered,
the people took everything from me, well thank the heavens
I had my legs. I walked down here to the train station, I met
a lady who gave me bottles of water to sell of which I sold
everything but my pay can’t get me a train ticket to my
destination.
VON DIRK. Okay, how much does your train ticket cost?
SMITH. 65 penny.

Von Dirk brings out his wallet, counts some

money; Gretel breaks into their conversation.

GRETEL (To Von Dirk). Don’t give him a penny.

VON DIRK (He’s surprised). You are here again? Please woman
what have you got against the Salesman?
SMITH. Oh shit! This old woman is here again? (He turns to
Gretel.) What do you want from me? Why didn’t you come
to ask me ever since? You waited till now I am in a
meeting, please leave us I’ll attend to you later, I know
you’ve been sitting over there all day long, go back to your
position.
GRETEL (To Von Dirk). He’ll cause your downfall.
SMITH. Oh shit, this is bad (He goes and starts pushing Gretel
away.)
VON DIRK. (To Smith). Please allow her; it seems the old woman
really has something to say.
 18

Smith stops pushing Gretel, she walks back

towards Von Dirk.

GRETEL (To Von Dirk). Yes, this Salesman is under Divine

Sanction, he’s the best in the world but recently began to
misuse and abuse divinity. I was sent here to see his
actions.
SMITH. This old woman is talking rubbish.
VON DIRK. No let her continue.
GRETEL. Can any of you guess my age? I doubt, and this young
man began pushing me. I’m 6,999 years old. I’m a keeper
of destiny; you all are invited to my birthday coming up
soon!
SMITH. This woman is just an old bad pig.
VON DIRK. No please! Don’t say such a thing, that’s really bad.

Gretel gets angry and begins chanting.

GRETEL. You call me an “old bad pig” because I’m here to do my

job.
SMITH. Sorry about that, but you got me angry first.
GRETEL. I’ll still go on to do my job. (She begins to cast a spell).
VON DIRK. (He’s getting scared). What’s going on here?
SMITH. I don’t know man!
 19

GRETEL. Desparaciti Espirit Destinanto

Desparaciti Espirit Destinanto
Uscumbela Uscumbela
Uscumbela A Million
Repititi Espirit Destinanto
A Million Salin Repititi

The lights in the train station goes dim Von Dirk

gets so scared; he jumps into the next train
station, the entire train station goes dark.

SMITH. (He’s shouting). What are you doing to me old witch!

What are you doing to me!
GRETEL. The keepers of destiny sent me to collect your destiny
from you; you will only be able to regain your destiny after
your 1 millionth sale.

The lights in the train station comes back on,

Smith is on the ground.

SMITH. What have you done old witch? (He looks around and
can’t see Von Dirk.) Where is my partner Von Dirk? (He
turns to Gretel) look what you’ve done.
GRETEL. You brought it all upon yourself.

Smith goes to hold Gretel’s neck choking her.

SMITH. I’ll kill you old witch, you’ve ruined my life, how do I get
out of this place (He frees Gretel.)
 20

GRETEL. You can’t kill me, you’ll die first. You can find me at
the cave of destiny, I’m gone.

A train arrive the train station, new passengers

alight from the train. Gretel enters the train and
leaves the station.

ACT II
SCENE 1
It’s evening, Smith is at the train station; his hope of
getting his ticket money is gone in the wind.

SMITH. What is going on today in my life, that old witch has

ruined everything. (He begins to think.) She said I’ll cause
the downfall of another person’s business, and I’ve misused
divinity. I know I talk a lot, that’s just who I am, a quiet
person can’t make sales. I need to get out of this train
station; it seems I’m beginning to go crazy, if I stay much
longer here I’ll end up in a psychiatric hospital.

Smith sees a man at the train station holding a

box; he goes to meet the traveler.

SMITH (To the TRAVELER). Hey man, I can sell whatever it is

inside that box you’re carrying.
TRAVELER 3 (He turns to Smith and laugh). Are you for real? Is
this how you go about selling things?
 21

SMITH. Erm, not really but I’m the best in the world and if you
doubt me handover the box you’re carrying to me, before
your next train arrive I must have sold it off.
TRAVELER 3. I’m very certain you’ll not be able to sell what’s
inside the box.
SMITH. Not much to be spoken, a trial will convince you.
TRAVELER 3. Okay, you keep on insisting. Let me give you a try.
SMITH. That’s cool, so what’s inside?

The Traveler hands over the box he’s carrying to

Smith, Smith receives the box.

TRAVELER 3. It’s a surprise inside

SMITH (carrying the box). A box of surprise? Sounds weird.
TRAVELER 3. Exactly, it’s a box of surprise.
SMITH. And how much should it be sold for?
TRAVELER 3. I haven’t thought of a price yet, so what amount do
you think will be suitable using the weight?

Smith uses his hands to weigh the boxes.

SMITH. It hasn’t got much weight; I’ll sell it for 30 penny.

TRAVELER 3. That’s fine, go on and sell it off let me see.
SMITH. Just watch the magic; I’ve already spotted my prospective
buyer.

Smith goes to meet a young lady standing

waiting for her next train.
 22

SMITH. Hello young lady! I’ve got a surprise for you

TRAVELER 4 (She turns to Smith and gives a polite smile). Hey!
How’re you doing?
SMITH. I’m great, like I said I’ve got surprises.
TRAVELER 4. I don’t like surprises
SMITH. You’ve got to love this one specially imported.
TRAVELER 4 (She picks interest). Wow! What kind of imported
surprise could it be?
SMITH. It’s inside this box. (He drops the box on the floor).
TRAVELER 4 (She laughs). Are you a salesman? Because what
you’re doing right now is really hilarious.
SMITH. Yes I’m the best salesman in the world.
TRAVELER 4. Did you become that using this strategy of surprise
in a box? It’s really a dumb thing to do; you’re probably the
worst Sales Person ever in the world. I saw that man over
there (She points to Traveler 3) give you this box. You both
look like Terrorists.

A train arrive the station; Traveler 3 enters the

train and leaves the station.

SMITH (To TRAVELER 4). Please ma’am if you’re not buying

I’ll appreciate you don’t insult me.
TRAVELER 4. Your guy has entered the train that just arrived and
he’s gone.
SMITH. Wow! (He looks around the train station.) I can’t see the
young man.
TRAVELER 4. He’s left the station, and I’m not buying any box
of surprise. (She takes few steps away from Smith.)
 23

SMITH. Alright, I’m not a monster, you don’t need to run, I’ll just
go.

The traveler enters the next train that arrive the

station, new set of passengers alight the train.
Smith tries to sell the box of surprise to passers by

SMITH. What I am holding here (He raises the box into the air) is
a box of surprise, a surprise of good things to happen in
your life. For 50 penny.

Passersby mumble some words.

PASSER BY 1 (To Smith). Hey man get out of the way, you can
never sell a box of surprise.
PASSER BY 2. He’s a lunatic, let him be.

Smith feels hurt being called a lunatic; he goes

with the box and sits at a corner in the train
station.

SMITH. Can a box of surprise be really sold, (He thinks for a

while.) And why did the young man run off so quickly,
what’s inside this box.

Smith opens the box, he suddenly jumps up, the

box falls out of his hand, a human head soaked in
blood is revealed.
 24

PASSER BY 3. That man’s got a human head in a box (pointing to

Smith.)
PASSER BY 4. He’s psycho, let him be.

Smith puts the human head back inside the box,

closes it up and leaves it at the spot; He goes to
the opposite side.

SMITH (Leaning on a light pole). I’m doomed, how did my life

get to this point of selling a human head, it means I’ve
become a monster. What did that old witch do to me; I
don’t understand my life anymore. What did I do wrong,
I’m not prideful, I just flaunt my portfolio everywhere I go.
Well I’ve abused my divine sales ability a couple of times;
I don’t think it’s enough to be punished this way. (He looks
at his cloth and shed a few tears.)

***Black out***
 25

SCENE 2
It’s the next day, Smith is stuck at the train station, he
begins to sing and beg.

SMITH (Singing). I was the best in the world

Now I’m just like the rest,
Please stretch forth your arms
And give me some alms.

No one pays attention to Smith; he continues

singing until a Traveler throws an empty bottle
at him, Smith stops singing.

SMITH. Hey man! What was that for? Do you own the station?
TRAVELER 5. You’re a mad man; I’ll kick you out of this place.

Smith becomes scared; he goes to sit at a corner.

SMITH. I’m going crazy, I don’t know what is happening to me

(Tears fall down his cheek.) I’m losing my mind, what have
I gotten into, why did I embark on this journey, I’m going
insane. (He sobs.) How do I make it out of this place? I’ve
spent all my money on food, I can bear everything in this
world but not hunger (He cleans his eyes.), How do I get
someone to pay my ticket out this place, I obviously can’t
sell anything anymore, I’ll just have to say the truth. I
deserved to be punished for my mistakes.

***Black out***
 26

SCENE 3
Smith is carrying a plate begging travelers and passersby.
His facial hairs are grown.

SMITH (He goes around begging). Please help me, I’ve got no
money for feeding, I’ve been stuck here for 2 weeks now.
I’m going insane.

The train station is busy but no one looks at Smith.

SMITH (Cont’d). I’ll die here; I’ve not eaten since morning.

A train arrive the station; new passengers alight,

Smith spot a young man and goes to meet him.

SMITH (To the Traveler). You’re God sent, I was over there and I
spotted you. Can you be my deliverer?
TRAVELER 6 (To Smith). Hey! You stink, please move away.
SMITH (Breaks down in tears). Please I’ve been stuck up here for
two weeks; it’s the darkest days in my life. I’ll have asked
for you to get me out of this place but that’s secondary. I’m
dying; the worms in my stomach are so angry and want to
eat me up. Please give me 1 penny so I can buy something
to eat.
TRAVELER 6. I can relate there were days I went through hunger.
SMITH. Please, I really need to eat, I’m dying.
TRAVELER 6. What happened to you?
SMITH. It’s a novel story; I’ll tell you when I get something to eat.
 27

The Traveler brings out 1 penny from his wallet

and gives it to Smith.

TRAVELER 6. I’ll want to hear your story,

SMITH. Sure, let me go buy food I’ll be back shortly.

Smith quickly goes to buy food and back.

TRAVELER 6. You’re back quickly

SMITH. Yea, you’re my saving grace. (He opens his food and start
eating.)
TRAVELER 6. So how did you get stuck here for so long, don’t
you have families to come to your rescue?
SMITH. The only family I got left is my old mother who lives with
her nanny. I’ve been at this station for two weeks now. I
got called some weeks ago by a company that manufactures
steel for a negotiation to be their lead salesperson. I
embarked on this journey to their headquarter which I
never arrived. I got robbed the first night; I walked a long
distance before arriving at this train station.
TRAVELER 6. How did you end up in rags?
SMITH. Some wrong decisions I’d taken in the past. I was the best
Salesman in the world a couple of weeks back but my
encounter with a witch turned me this way.
TRAVELER 6. A Witch? Where did you see one?
SMITH. This train station, she says she’s a keeper of destiny, she
laid a curse on me as a punishment for abusing my divine
powers, She also said I can find her at the cave of destiny.
Since I was cursed, I’ve been in rags.
 28

TRAVELER 6. How did you abuse divine powers?

SMITH. Well! I went on to sell anything and everything, I can sell
a thing for any set price, most times I sold at a very
outrageous price, I do feel bad some nights but I became
addicted to sales. I can use a whole profit and gamble it
away overnight, the next morning I pick up a few items,
sell them and regain my lost money. I became too confident
in myself and that was how pride crept into me.
TRAVELER 6 (He spits close to Smith). I dislike prideful people,
they are worse than serpents.
SMITH. Hey man you didn’t have to spit at me.
TRAVELER 6. Your evil has caught up with you; I can’t assist a
rag in pride.
SMITH. That’s despicable, I’m no rag, and you don’t have to say
such hateful words.
TRAVELER 6. You’re going to die here.

A train arrive the station; the traveler enters the

train and leave.

*** Black Out***

 29

ACT III
SCENE 1
It’s mid-day, Smith is crying.

SMITH. I know I have made mistakes in the past but to end up this
way? (He cries) Please! Someone save me! I’m losing
myself; I’ll take my life if nothing changes. The hunger is
too much. (He sobs) I’ve learnt my lessons; this is too
much on me! I’ve spent a month in this train station; I can’t
recognize myself anymore.
PASSERBY 5 (To Smith.) Hey! Madman. get out of the way.

A train arrives the train station, new travelers

alight the train. A lady comes out of the train,
she looks at Smith and recognizes him, and she’s
surprised. The lady is APRIL.
April goes to meet Smith.

APRIL (To Smith). Hello! What happened to you? What are you
still doing in this train station? How long have you been
here?

Smith doesn’t recognize April at first.

SMITH. Who are you? Are you here to help me? I don’t know
you. I’ve been here for a month and I’ve lost all my senses.
APRIL. I’m April, the lady that sells water.
SMITH. The lady that left me stranded here?
 30

APRIL. It seems so, sorry about that, I didn’t ever think you’ll stay
this long here.
SMITH. Since you left I’ve seen hell, I even battled with a witch.
APRIL. A witch? Where did you see one?
SMITH. Here in this train station, she was divinely sent to me.
APRIL. That’s unbelievable.
SMITH. I’ve learnt to be truthful since the witch laid a curse on me
that kept me this way. How have you been?
APRIL. I’m living the best of my years; I now own a water
manufacturing and sales company. If I work hard I’ll be at
the top of Forbes list of Salesperson. Your secret you gave
to me works perfectly well with a blend of education.
SMITH. That’s good to know, can you get me out of this train
station? I need to go to the Cave of destiny to meet the old
witch that took my destiny.
APRIL. I don’t know where that place is, how much does it cost?
SMITH. Give me a minute let me go and confirm the price.

Smith quickly goes to the train station ticket shop.

SMITH (to the ticket salesman). Hello how much does a train
ticket to the Cave of destiny cost?
TICKET SALESMAN. The next train arriving the station is bound
to the Cave of destiny it costs 85 penny.
SMITH. Alright I’ll be back.
TICKET SALESMAN. That’s what you said the last time a month
ago.

Smith goes back to meet April.

 31

SMITH (To April). The next train that arrive the station is bound
to the Cave of destiny, I quickly have to buy a ticket, it cost
85 penny.

They both hear the horn of a distant train.

APRIL (She quickly gives Smith some cash). Take this 100 penny,
quickly go get your ticket.

Smith collects the money, he runs to the ticket

shop and buy a ticket, the horn of a train sounds.

APRIL (To Smith). Be fast so you don’t miss your train. (She
brings out her business card from her purse.)

Smith runs to wave at the train, April runs to him

and gives him her business card.

APRIL. Call me; I can get you a sales job.

SMITH. Thanks for getting me out of this hell of a place called a
train station. I’ll give you a call.

The train stops. Smith enters and leaves the train

station.

*** Black Out***

 32

SCENE 2
Daytime. Smith is starring at the entrance into the Cave if
destiny.

SMITH. What sort of place is this that has many doors, here
doesn’t look normal. (He walks into a door.) This place has
so many turns; I hope I don’t get lost in this labyrinth.
Wow! Here is a dead end, am I in a puzzle? I’m not good in
playing puzzles, I really don’t like lame games, Wow! Here
is another dead end. How will that old witch know her way
around all this dead ends? Oh, she’s a witch she’ll just walk
through this walls. (He punches a wall) Ouch! These walls
are so strong. Another dead end, if I knew, I would have
brought a hammer along with me to break through, I don’t
have patience for all these nonsense. Where is my destiny!
(He shouts as he runs and breaks through a wall).

Smith falls on the ground, he gets up and looks

around, he’s in the center of the Cave of destiny,
he sees a coffin, he goes and opens it.

SMITH (He’s shocked). No, no, no, this is not happening (He
begins to cry). She can’t be dead; she said I will meet her
here. How do I get back my destiny, this old witch has
killed me, now she’s dead (Smith cries heavily). What am I
to do now, can I ever make a sale again.

Smith looks inside the coffin and sees a letter; he

picks it up and reads aloud.
 33

SMITH. To the best Salesman.

Your destiny will come back to you

After your 1 millionth sale without
Divine powers, I am gone.

Keeper of destiny.

Smith cries heavily, he brings out the business

card April gave to him.

*** Black Out***

SCENE 3
Smith is in April’s office. April is seated at her table.

APRIL. Congratulations Smith, you’ve spent six months with us

and have sold 18,000 units of bottled water. I wish you
more sales.
SMITH. Thanks.

They both stand up and shake hands; Smith

brings out his letter from the old witch and looks
at it as he leaves the office.

SMITH. I’ve still got 982,000 units to sell before I can regain my
destiny. (He shakes his head).
*** Black Out***
THE END.
34