DARA LY

PART 2

The Friendship Issues

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Lesson 6

Friendship

1 Minute Drama

Your friendship will grow apart as you grow older.

The sooner you realize, the better you get prepared.

At least, you won’t get disappointed for unnecessary reasons.

Your friends have different priorities from yours, and that is not
uncommon. You know that, they know that, and everybody
knows that.

Nonetheless, you still hold on to the idea that the same degree of
closeness remains unchanged. That is not the case!

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You may have had many memories together, and at times, you
are totally convinced that those things shall keep your friendship
unbreakable. Not true!

For all my life, I have been alone and dealing with many things all
by myself.

I don't need to many friends because I wasn't built for such a

thing. At least, not in the way that many people would prefer in
friendship.

Maybe I am a different type of person.

Maybe people find it hard to associate with me.

Maybe they're right. But I couldn't care less.

If friendship means you have to please others, I don't need it.

Motivation from Machine

It’s wise to choose the right friends if you want to

sleep well. Some friends are good, and some are

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good at bringing troubles. It’s advisable to avoid the

latter. Choose a friend wisely, and be slow to trust
a new friend because once you have embraced the
friendship, it’s hard to let go, no matter how many
times you try. It’s better to have a few friends who
are good than to have many friends who, later, may
become strangers, or even haters.
Even if you’re a kind person, you should be
smart and fair. Do not let kindness overshadow
fairness, so you need to be smart and know what to
do when dealing with friends. Some people are bad
friends, and they use your kindness against you.
Beware of the bad influence from bad peers
who might not know that they are spreading it.
Needless to say, it is wise to choose your close
friends who can help you just as you would do the
same for them in learning.
Having said that, friendship can be helpful for
your study too. Oftentimes, group study is one of
the most practical ways for students who want to be
the top in the class. Your friends can challenge and
encourage you to work harder to get better results,
and you would do the same for them too.
By the way, you do not need too many friends
if your goal is to be the best in the class. If your goal,
however, is to know as many people as possible,
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well, you can keep too many friends with you. But
do not expect to have enough time for your study
because you will not have it.
There are things that you can understand and
things that you cannot, and you ought to deal with
them accordingly. No more, no less. Teenage life is
accompanied mostly by drama and joy that one can
realize, but the former outweighs the latter. As a
result, teenage life has often become a chaotic life.
I never had to go through the same drama that
my best friend had to go through in his family. He
had a rough teenage life even though he was a tough
boy. I learned firsthand from his story because we
often spent the night under the open sky talking till
we fell asleep. It was soul-searching conversation
and unfiltered sharing from each other.
My friend tended to be strong outwardly even
though, deep down, he was disappointed with his
life. He never said anything about that, but I could
feel it. Nonetheless, we had other problems to deal
with. Common problems, if you will! First of all,
our study was the most important and urgent thing
to take care before any other issues.
We spent one year together at the monastery,
and that gave us more time to study together during

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the not-so-quiet night. I could only imagine what

my study result would have been like if we had not
lived together and studied in group like that.
To us, it’s more like a study camp, and everyone
could join in learning as well as party. Not to
mention common sports that we enjoyed in the
evening! Especially when it was the rainy day. We
loved playing soccer or volleyball under the rain.
Mind you, I was bad at both, but that did not stop
me from trying.
From that study camp, it had prepared me for
something which had been absent in my childhood.
It was a sense of preparedness!
I sucked at sports, but I had performed better
in other areas, such as good manner, and proactive
habits. Especially learning! A year prior to that, my
mind was quite narrow. With group study, it was
unlocked and widened far more open than it ever
was, in terms of how to study effectively and how to
keep myself active in this pursuit.
I aimed for a good result from the big test, so I
talked my friends into studying in group almost
every night. They did agree, and we did learn,
although not a lot, given that we would spare some
time to play also. It was a new experience for us, and
we were determined to succeed because it’s the final
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year for our secondary school years, and everybody

hated the idea of repeating the same grade for
another year.
We all wanted to pass, so we were willing to pay
the price, which was hard work. It was harder than
we thought, at first, but we could overcome almost
all challenges. For example, to prevent sleepiness at
night, I drank about half a liter of water at once. On
the semester exam day, everybody stayed as late as 4
AM. I knew that it was 4 AM because the Grandpa
Hout (who lived and slept in the pagoda also) was
cooking breakfast for the monks. I could smell the
food although my eyes could barely open. To keep
them open, I asked my friends to burn the candle
and spill it on my back. The melted candle was so
hot that it could keep me awake, and that’s how I
studied to pass the exam. When one among us fell
asleep, the others must wake him up. Sometimes,
we were lucky to get a pot of hot coffee to keep us
awake, but my stomach was not fond of it, by the
way.
At the end of the year, we passed the national
exam. Friendship had brought us good results in
learning. Nothing could beat group work with the
same goal.

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Lesson 7

How It Goes

1 Minute Drama

I am unhappy about the way my friends have treated me, but I

couldn’t do anything about it because they are my best friends.
Or so I thought!

I am unhappy when I find that some people are fake friends.

I want to give them the second chance, but what they have done
to me is just too much.

I am unhappy after learning that I have to go through hard times

alone, again.

When they were sad, I was there to cheer them up.

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When I need them, where are they?

Nowhere to be found!

They have never understood the meaning of friendship.

I have been alone all my life, but I'm still fine.

If they don't value this friendship, that's fine. I'll walk away.

If they don't need me, that's fine. I'm needed somewhere else.

If they don't have time for me, that's fine. I won't have to waste my
time either.

If they don't care about me, that's fine. I won't care about them
either.

If they don't call me back, that's fine. I'll stop calling.

If they don't text me back, that's okay. I'll talk to new friends.

I have a life to live, so I don't have to waste it trying to keep people

who want to walk away from me. Especially in such a bad time as
this!

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Motivation from Machine

Friendly Reminder from Machine: When you need

a favor from someone, just ask. But don’t start with a
question: “How are you?” It’s the most frequently asked
question I’ve ever heard whenever somebody wants a favor
from me. Frankly speaking, I refuse to help because of that
pretentious question. However, I do ask this question
when I mean it. I just don’t include the purpose of asking
a favor from anyone.
Another one is when your friend plans to invite you
to join his or her wedding. Usually, it goes like this: “Hi.
How are you?”
I’m like: “Okay, so you’re getting married? Again?”
Sometimes your friends love you so much that
they want to invite you to join in every event that
they celebrate.
A birthday party? You’re invited!
A one-month anniversary? You’re invited for a
party!
A breakup? You’re also invited for a breakup
party! Okay, maybe it’s not a party, but you’re still
invited.

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In short, when you are available, somebody will

avail you. In many cases, you might feel guilty when
you couldn’t join a party that you are invited. We
all feel that, and it’s okay. I used to feel bad for not
being able to join my friend’s wedding.
After that, I thought to myself, “Well, maybe the
next one!”
I’m talking about another friend. Not another
marriage! When another wedding invitation came
through, I still couldn’t make it. After a few times,
my expectation was that it’s not the first time that I
missed it. My understanding about a wedding is
this: “It’s not my wedding! And it’s not important to me
at all.”
Should I pretend that it’s important when it’s
not? Maybe I should pretend! The point is, your
availability is directed by your priority. If something
is important enough, you’ll be available and willing
to do it. On the other hand, if it’s not important,
you’ll be busy.
People say, “You can make time for something or
someone.”
I’ll say, you only make time for things that are
important. Things or people, for that matter!

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When you were younger, you might have fewer

priorities, so you’re more available for your friends.
As you grew older, you would have more important
things to do, and your time for friendship could be
reduced dramatically.
At first, you’re not happy about the fact that
your friendship is deteriorating and there’s nothing
you can do about it. Soon enough, you begin to
understand that it is what it is.
Those who are always available for others do
not have enough time for self-development. That’s
the fact about availability and priority. If you want
to get rid of the same guilt that you have brought
along, you should accept the fact that you’re moving
forward and getting further from your friends and
the old memories. Whether you like it or not, it’s
the new reality of your friendship.
You either manage your time, or it will torture
you, in many ways. In other words, time can be your
ally or archenemy when it comes to your work or
your friendship, for that matter. If you can control
most of what you do every day, you can manage
your time better too. Similarly, you should balance
your time in friendship also.
It feels exhausting when you are surrounded
with people who share none of your interests but
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take much of your time with their drama that has

nothing to do with you at all. You are not interested
in those irrelevant problems, nor do you want to get
involved. However, some of your friends do not
know that, and they keep bringing those issues to
you because they think that you are free enough for
their drama.
Manage your time, and balance your friendship.
Stay away from dramatic friends, if possible!

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Lesson 8

When It Ends

1 Minute Drama

Maybe I am not important enough for them.

Maybe I am just an outsider.

Maybe I am never a part of their lives.

Maybe I should leave.

I should not bother them any longer.

When your friends do not see the value in your time and devotion
for them, walk away from that unhealthy friendship.

When they treat you unfairly, walk away!

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When you know that they speak ill of you behind your back,
repeatedly, walk away.

When they owe you some money, walk away. Okay, maybe not!
But make sure to never lend them the money again.

When they put you last while keeping others first, walk away.

It's okay if they blame you for every problem that happens. You
don't have to care because you know what is right and what is
not.

It's okay if they tell others that you're a bad person. In the eyes of
bad people, it's good to be bad.

It's okay if they kick you out of the circle. You don't need to stay,
anyway.

Motivation from Machine

It’s a tough time when you try to forget people who

used to be close to you. After a few times, however,
you’ll grow less disappointed with these people.

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They’re supposed to leave at some point, and that’s

okay. You should accept the fact that some people
are meant to teach you a lesson of friendship, but
in a way that you hate to learn.
Forget those who have abandoned you in times
of hardships. Forget them, and move on. You have
a life to live, and you can’t keep your mind busy
with the bad memories of the past. Move on!
In friendship, fairness and honesty are the rules
to be followed. I keep these rules with me all the
time. I demand the same things from people whom
I call friends. Those who fail to keep these rules
unbroken will no longer be considered my friends.
I have a high expectation from people whom I
call friends, and I don’t need many of them because
it’s tiring to deal with those who have no fairness
and honesty in their heart. Not all of them are bad
people, but they just have different ideas about
friendship. They take friendship for granted, and
they think they can do whatever they like to their
friends, disregarding fairness.
One more thing, never ever forget those who
are dishonest. They are the worst kind of friends.
You might have fallen in their trap of lies in the
past, but you have to be careful with them in the

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future. Do not trust them, and never let yourself be

brought back into the same trap.
I had this one friend who I considered my best
friend. It turned out that I was wrong; he’s the worst
one ever! Back then, I was too easy-going and too
forgiving, so I never saw the faults in him, regardless
of what he did, which was frequently questionable.
I wasn’t sure why he treated me unfairly, but I never
took it seriously. I thought that being a good friend
simply meant you should forgive your friend for
small mistakes.
He was not the last friend who taught me a hard
lesson on friendship. Only a few years later, I had a
close relationship with another friend who had a
different idea of what a good friend should be.
Soon, I learned that he was a disloyal and dishonest
friend. I never had the same respect for this guy
after that. Neither did I trust him again!

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Lesson 9

Bullying

1 Minute Drama

When I was in the 7th grade, my classmates used to abuse me,

verbally, almost every day.

I asked them to stop, but my words seemed like a vain attempt,

for it didn’t produce any positive effects.

To make matters worse, my classmates even invited others to do

the same.

Why did they do that to me?

Did they know how I felt? Did they even care?

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School had become a scary place for me because of that reason:

Bullying!

Just because I walked funny, that didn’t mean they could make
fun of me.

It’s not a nice thing to treat someone, but those people never
understood how hurtful it was to become the subject of mockery.

They made me look like a fool. Sometimes I questioned myself

because of that too. I wondered why I was different from others.

I guess, that explains why I have no confidence in myself.

My self-esteem couldn’t get any lower.

I used to be a confident kid, back in primary school, but the

bullying was powerful enough to convince me that I was a weird
kid. I don’t hate my [former] classmates, by the way.

I hate myself because I allow their words to ruin my confidence.

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Motivation from Machine

The bully only picks on you because he or she is

intimidated by you. He or she may feel inferior
because you are smart or determined to study. The
bully just wants to hurt you. He or she might be
bigger than you, physically, but that won’t make you
weaker. Do not let the bully win! You have to be
tough, mentally, and emotionally.
When I was a kid, I had been a subject of bully
and ridicule, but I thought that I had no way of
rejecting unfairness against me. In other words, I
thought that I was designed to take it, whether I
liked it or not. It’s not a pretty feeling at all, but I
had to endure it, for, at least, the past 15 years. It
didn’t seem like a big deal at that time because I was
not the only kid who was the subject of bullying or
ridicule. This is why I could relate and sympathize
with many young people who have to deal with the
same issues that I had to deal with. Bullying could
come in many forms. It could be from anyone.
It is fair to say that most kids had been taught
to take bullying or to bully others, from the narrow
understanding about what it’s like to be younger
and/or smaller than the others. Lucky for me, I was

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a big kid, so fewer people would dare to bully me

physically.
However, it was the verbal form that I feared. I
was a dumb but big kid, so to speak. The reason was
obvious: I was naive, so it’s easy for others to bully
me verbally. I was dumb enough to take that
bullying seriously, and that’s how it invited more
people to do the same to me, whether I liked it or
not.
Nevertheless, bullying wasn’t always a bad thing
for everyone. One thing I can learn from it is that
we all can choose not to bully others even if we have
power to do so. We can choose to treat others fairly,
but, most importantly, we should treat others the
way we want to be treated. That’s the golden rule,
and I always commit to obey it.
Evidently, many young people whom I know
have this common understanding about me; they
believe that I am harmless. Being harmless doesn’t
mean you are weak or fragile. It’s irrelevant. To my
own definition, harmlessness simply means you
have no intention to harm anyone else even when
you could. One more thing, respect is important
when you are dealing with people. Without respect,

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it’s easier for a person to judge or, preferably, bully

someone else.
It happens a lot to young people these days. If
you don’t have respect for someone else because of
his or her appearance, you’ll be more inclined to
believe that you can treat him or her harshly,
disregarding the fact that you might not want others
to treat you that way. You may think that it’s fun to
make fun of someone else. But it’s not fun. And it’s
wrong.
If it happens to you, you will seek vengeance
from anyone who dares to commit such a sin.
When it is you who commits this sin, you choose to
look the other way. You say that you only do that
for fun and no harmful manner is intended. But
you wouldn’t accept it if someone else does that to
you. You’re a hypocrite, by that nature. You know
that, but you refuse to acknowledge it because it’s
too embarrassing to admit. That’s why you continue
bullying others due to the lack of respect for
yourself.

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Lesson 10

Trust Issue

1 Minute Drama

I have one problem with people: I don’t trust them easily!

Actually, I don’t trust anybody, and I rarely get too close to

anyone.

I used to view friendship differently, by the way.

However, when you have experienced enough problems with

friendship and trust issues, you will understand why we should
never trust people too easily.

I trusted my friends, but they let me down.

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I placed my faith into this friendship, but they broke my heart,

repeatedly.

I always kept their secrets, but they never did the same for me.

Why did they commit such a treacherous act toward their friend?
Or am I?

Maybe they never considered me a friend. At least, not in the way

that I could comprehend!

Nevertheless, it’s okay to trust some people if you can be sure of

their trustworthiness!

Motivation from Machine

I used to trust my close friend because we have had

a long history together, back from high school.
However, this guy had broken my trust many times.
I have realized that I can no longer trust him when
it comes to a serious matter.
It’s a difficult decision to remove the name of
someone from the friendship list, but sometimes
you have to do what you have to do. When you can
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no longer trust him or her, you have to cut off your

connection from that person. Or, at least, try not to
get too close like you used to be. You won’t be able
to share your secret with that friend because you are
certain that it won’t remain a secret any longer after
it has passed through the ears of this person.
Does it mean you have to be careful with every
friend you have? No!
Throughout your life, there are things that you
learn and pick up along the way. There are more
things that you throw away than those that you
keep. Your friendship is not immune to this change
either. You’ll let go of more friends than you care
to count. You’ll know it when you experience it.
The trust issue is a good lesson to remember if
you do not wish to repeat the same ugly experience
in friendship. Through this experience, you will be
wiser in how to select a close friend. It shall remind
you also; it can keep you honest and trustworthy as
a friend, so to speak.
Remember the friendship rules: Be fair and be
honest!

Waiting for Part 3 & 4?

Please be patient; the author's sleeping!
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