GODLIKE

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Seduction Secrets
of a SELF MADE
DICTATOR
B Y M I C H A E L H A I N E S
 MODULE 5:
MAKING HER YOUR
GIRLFRIEND
THE INFATUATION FORMULA AND HOW TO INSTALL
OBSESSION IN A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN’S EMOTIONS

(Rough Transcript)
Hey it’s Mike Haines and welcome back to Godlike Power, the course where you
learn to attract and seduce 9s and 10s.
We are now in the second last module of this course. And what I want to talk to
you about this month is infatuation. Making beautiful woman utterly infatuated
with you. How to make her adore you, be totally devoted to you. How to turn an
extremely hot girl into your girlfriend, or your fuckbuddy.
This is what we’ll be covering this month.

Defining the goal

What is infatuation? Infatuation is defined as intense, almost obsessive passion.
This passion is both sexual and emotional.
When a girl is in a state of infatuation with you, a couple of things will tend to
happen:
1. She’ll always be wet for you and eager to have sex at all times
2. She’ll frequently initiate sex with you, and you may even wake up to find
her riding you while you were asleep
3. She may buy you little gifts and bribes to come see her (bottles of
whiskey, watches, dinners, etc)

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4. She’ll be totally devoted to you to the point that you have no fear of her
ever cheating on your or leaving — it’s just an impossibility that that would
even occur
5. She’ll text you more than you text her, and will frequently send you nudes
and sexual messages (if you’ve made it clear you approve this)
6. She’ll be immensely proud to be going out with you, and will take any
opportunity to show you off to her friends and family
7. She’ll put an enormous amount of effort into being attractive to you, by
dressing how you want her to dress, hitting the gym intensely and being
fastidious about what she eats (this will apply even if she wasn’t into
health and fitness before meeting you). This intense interest in upgrading
her looks as much as possible is driven by desire to keep you with her and
fear that you’ll find someone hotter
8. She’ll go the extra mile to please you in cute, non-sexual ways (like
surprising you with a home cooked dinner, planning something special for
your birthday, cleaning your house without being asked, etc)
9. In some cases, she’ll be open to letting you sleep with other girls, even if
you don’t permit her the same liberty (though this frame has to be set
from the beginning — more on this later)
10. She may be open to threesomes with you and other girls (again — more
on this later)

So. All these are the result of infatuation — as I define the word.
Putting a woman in a state of infatuation with you is the key to a great, fulfilling,
satisfying relationship.
A woman who’s infatuated with a man is in her most feminine essence.
Many men these days complain that women are becoming less feminine. They
complain that their wife or girlfriend nags them or constantly complains, or that the
girls they approach are bitchy and vacuous and only concerned with their social
media following.
And all this is true. But it’s important to realize that it can be changed. And it can
be changed by making the girl infatuated with you.

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A WOMAN’S CHARACTER AND PERSONALITY WILL CHANGE DEPENDING
ON HOW ATTRACTED TO YOU SHE IS
See — within certain bounds — there is no thing as a “good woman” or a
“bad woman”.
Rather, you make a woman good or bad.
People are like clay. They are changed and conditioned by their environment
and external influences.
Women are naturally passive. They are looking for leadership. They take their
cue from you, as the man.
If you’re a strong dominant male, it brings out a woman’s feminine side. She
becomes naturally submissive, compliant, pleasant, kind, nurturing.
If you’re a weak, passive male, who’s trying to hide from reality instead of
embracing it, it brings out a woman’s masculine side. She becomes
argumentative, combative, bitchy, hostile, domineering, manipulative,
deceitful and a terror to be around.
It’s the same woman in each case.
But a different man brings out a different side of her.
Now, there are limits to this, of course.
There are girls you’ll meet who were so screwed up by their parents or by events in
their past that there’s no saving them, and you shouldn’t try.
But it’s a grave mistake to assume that just because a woman treated you badly
one time, she’s a poor quality woman.
If women are treating you poorly it says less about the “decline of society”,
and more about you.
Women will always be sweet for an alpha male. Always have been. Always will
be.

MAKING HER INFATUATED PUTS YOU IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT

Making a girl infatuated with you, making her devoted to you, is also the key to
creating the type of relationship you want with her.
For example, maybe this is a girl who you perceive as being a bit out of your
league — she’s hotter than girls you’ve been with before, and you’re anxious to
really nail her down and get her into an exclusive relationship with her.

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In this case, creating infatuation is the ultimate weapon, because it will cause her
to start chasing you for the relationship and begging you to be with her.
Another example might be if you’re more interested in having multiple non-
monogamous relationships, or even if just having your girl do threesomes with you.
These things are fundamentally only possible with a girl who is in a state of high
infatuation with you, because in this case, her overwhelming desire to stay with
you will mean she accepts any relationship you want, on your terms, and will
be grateful for it.

How do you create infatuation?

There’s a simple formula for this.
Infatuation = Attraction + Investment
Attraction plus investment.
Attraction refers to sexual attraction, arousal. We talked about how to create
that in depth in Module 2. It comes down to having a dominant, masculine,
polarizing presence as expressed by your body language, and being somewhat
challenging. If you’ve forgotten about those key fundamentals of attraction and
arousal, I recommend going back and reviewing Module 2 again.
But attraction is only side of the equation for infatuation.
The other part required is something called investment.
Investment is a concept we haven’t discussed yet. But it’s a very important one
here, when we’re talking about turning a girl into your girlfriend and getting her
devoted to you.

THE POWER OF INVESTMENT

Fundamentally ‘investment’ in the context of seduction, refers to a phenomenon in
which the more a girl invests in you, the more she wants a return on that
investment.
Investment happens because of something called the sunk cost fallacy. The sunk
cost fallacy basically means that, as one person described it, “your decisions are
tainted by the emotional investments you accumulate, and the more you
invest in something the harder it becomes to abandon it.”

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So, when we talk about investment in seduction, we’re talking about the frequently
observable fact that the more a woman invests in you, the harder she finds it to
abandon you.
And the less a woman invests in you — well, that’s how you end up getting flaked
on, stood up, or having girls run you were making out with run away when you go
to bathroom or something.

GET HER INVESTING IN YOU

So, you need to get girls investing in you.
And some investments are bigger than others. The more investment you get her
to make, the more committed to her incipient relationship with you she will
be.
Investment can happen in all sorts of ways. Anything the girl actively does for you
— any action she has to proactively take to attract you or keep you with her
— that’s investment.
Buying you a drink is an investment. Doing you a favor is an investment. Even
holding your coat for you is a small investment — and will actually more
predisposed to liking you than if she hadn’t done anything for you at all.
These are very subtle things, and the girl won’t even be consciously aware that
they’re influencing her to like you more — but they are.
If you approach her and spend an hour in each other’s company talking and
getting to know each other, she’s made more of an investment in you than if you
only talked for 10 minutes.
And so if you call a girl after having spent an hour with her, she’ll be much more
likely to want to see you again than if you had only spent 10 minutes together.
Why? Her investment in you is higher.
Similarly, going home with you and hanging out in your house is a bigger
investment than spending an hour with you. And making out on your couch is a
bigger investment than just hanging out at your place.
Having sex is a bigger investment than making out, and having wild kinky sex that
lasts the whole weekend is more of an investment than a one night stand.
The more she invests you, the less she wants to lose you. And the more
motivated she’ll be to keep you around and progress the relationship further.

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The ultimate example of high investment is a long term relationship. One of the
reasons it can so psychologically shattering to lose someone you’ve been
exclusive with for years — is that the years you spent with them were a huge
investment of your life, and so people an innate tendency not to want to “throw
that away.”

INVESTMENT IS POWER
The important thing to understand about investment in the context of pickup,
seduction and building relationships — is that investment is power.
Or to put it more precisely, whoever gets the other person to invest in them
more has the power.
The more you get a girl to invest in you, the more eager she will be to see you
again, sleep with you, and generally comply with what you want her to do.
I’ll give you an example. Let’s say you go out and approach women every day for a
year.
Well, what you’ll generally tend to find is that if you meet a girl and get her number
and then call her the next day, there’s a very high chance she will not to want to
see you again, and will flake on you or not respond to your texts.
And flaking will often happen even if the initial interaction seemed to go
extremely well — with the girl responding very positively to you and even asking
you to call her later.
Even under these circumstances, girls will often flake.
However, you’ll find that in a similar interaction, if you end up having with that
girl the same day you meet her, the chances of her wanting to see you again if
you text her a few days later go through the roof.
In fact, it’s very rare you’ll be flaked by a girl you had sex with?
Why is this? Well, sleeping with you was an investment on her part.
And having made that investment, she wants to have some kind of return on it
— in the form of you dating her afterwards. And so she becomes a hundred
times more likely to want to see you again.
Now, you may object at this point: “Well, of course she’s more likely to want see
you again. The very fact that she had sex with you shows she was highly attracted,
whereas the ones who only gave you their number were less attracted, and so of
course they would have a higher flake rate. And therefore this ‘investment’ this
doesn’t really exist — it’s just all about attraction.”

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Well, on the surface, that’s a valid argument. What it doesn’t take into account is
the insights into this you’ll gain from personal experience.

OFTEN, GETTING HER TO INVEST IS THE “MAKE OR BREAK” FACTOR IN

WHETHER OR NOT YOU GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP
So for example, if you go out a lot, you’ll have experiences where girls are clearly
extremely attracted to you — touching you, doting over you, talking about much
they fancy you, kissing you. But simply because of bad luck (e.g. she has a paper
due in the morning or something), there’s just no way to get together for sex that
night.
And then what you’ll find — and it’s often traumatizing — is that you call up that
hot girl who was absolutely obsessed with you last night and now she’s no longer
interested.
But, if the situation had been different and you had slept together, it would have
increased her investment in you such that she could very well now be your
girlfriend.
A counter example here is another thing that’ll happen to you if you go out a lot,
which is you’ll get talking to some girl, and she’ll barely be into you at all. But,
again, just through some total fluke — like, her friend and your friend are dating
and so you all end up back at her house — you and this girl are drunk and alone
together at 2am, everyone else is in bed, and almost just out of boredom, you wind
up having sex.
And lo and behold, you call her a couple days later, and this girl who had initially
almost NO attraction to you, is now excited to go on a date with you — and what
do you know, maybe you even end up being boyfriend and girlfriend.
That happens.
In fact, the woman who’s been my girlfriend for the past 5 years was someone I
started dating under circumstances somewhat like that. She was NOT particularly
attracted to me, and was even kind of bored and aloof when we first met. But we
wound up having sex, and because she had made that investment in me, she was
much more eager to see me again. And we wound up dating, and she become
super sweet and loyal and affectionate, and remains so to this day.

FREE WILL IS LARGELY AN ILLUSION

Now, the psychology of investment is EXTREMELY important to understand if you
want to make women infatuated with you.

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Because if you understand the psychology of this, then you can CONTROL it.
And if you can control a girl’s investment — in other words, if you can sort of
maneuver her into investing in you — you can make insanely hot girls not only
attracted but extremely attached to you.
Investment and the sunk cost fallacy is BIG. This is a big deal, when it comes
to how women “decide” to choose a mate.
And I put “decide” in quotation because the word presupposes a conscious
rational decision, whereas decisions which are made on the basis of the sunk cost
fallacy are far from rational.
And you can use this to your advantage. In fact, you have an obligation to yourself
to use it your advantage, because if you’re not using it, I can almost guarantee you
it’s being used against you.

A CAUTIONARY EXAMPLE
Say you’re out and you meet your dream girl. She’s a total stunner, amazing
personality and you’re just absolutely in love with this girl.
And let’s say you end up making out that night, and you go to a late night diner
and have some food together.
And this girl is all over you. She’s hugging you closely, kissing your neck, telling
you secrets. It’s just an amazing experience.
And when it’s time to leave, you think, “well, I could get her to come home with
me. But, there’s no need. This one’s in the bag. I’ll just play it safe, play it cool, get
her number and get her to come on a date with me in the week.”
And so you do that. And you say to her, “let’s go out during the week.” And she
says “yes! I can’t wait! Text me later! Make sure you text me!”
And you think, awesome. This is a done deal. And so you put her in a taxi, and she
goes home. And you go home.
And what happens?
Well, you text her during the week, and maybe she flakes on the plans. And then
maybe you text her again and she flakes. And then maybe you text her a third time
and she doesn’t even respond.
Or maybe she does go out on a date with you, but it’s not the same, the chemistry
isn’t there anymore, and you part your ways at the end, and when you text her later
on she says “you’re a great guy, but this just isn’t what I’m looking for right now.”
And it hurts. It hurts, right?

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Well, why did this happen?
It could have a completely different situation if you had actually just manned
up and had the killer instinct to go for the pull the night you met her, when her
arousal was its peak.
And what would have happened if you’d done that, is she would have gone home
with you, fooled around with you, and maybe slept with you — and because she
would have made that investment, it would have been much harder for her to
abandon the relationship with you that had already developed, because it would
have felt like a “sunk cost”.
And so what would probably have happened is that if you had called her a few
days after sleeping with her, she would have gone out with you, and she probably
would have slept with you again — and you would have been well on your way to
making that dream girl “unicorn” your devoted girlfriend.
Ok? Are you starting to get how critically important it is to get girls investing in
you?
It’s extremely important that get this — because if you don’t, it doesn’t matter how
much attraction you can build, you’ll never get to see the girl to see you again and
get her desperate to be in a sexual relationship with you.
OK.

Infatuation = attraction + investment.

So, that’s our introduction to this concept of investment. Which, along with
attraction, is the key building block in getting a hot girl (who could have anyone)
totally devoted to you and obsessed with you and you only.
So now that you understand the paramount importance of getting a girl investing
in you, it naturally raises the question: how do you do it?

How do you get a hot, flaky, short attention span girl to invest in you such
that she’s desperate to see you again and highly committed to getting in a
relationship with you?
Well, if you haven’t already picked up on it by now — SEX is the key.
Getting the girl to have sex with you is the ultimate form of investment she
can make early on.
And for this reason, I say that the “infatuation process” can only truly begin
AFTER you’ve had sex with the girl.

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This is why this course puts so much of an emphasis on seduction — and
specifically the idea of same day lays.
The reason is not why you might think. I continually emphasize going for the same
day lay, not because it’s super important to me to have sex with her immediately
upon meeting. It’s not.
Frankly, I would be totally happy to meet a girl, not have sex with her, not even kiss
her — then have a few dates and eventually have sex.
The problem with that is that if (a) you don’t get her to invest, and (b) she’s
extremely hot and has guys hitting her up constantly for dates, then the chances of
her wanting to see you again are LOW. It’s just a fact. Denying that this is the case
is totally dishonest.
The more beautiful a woman is, the more options she has. And the more
options she has, the less motivated she is to pursue any particular one.
It’s a fact of human psychology that human beings are more motivated to take
action by fear of loss than they are by a desire for gain.
A beautiful girl — a 9 or 10 — is a thousand times more likely to want to see
you again and start a relationship if she’s already invested herself in you in
the form of having sex with you. In which case, she’s highly motivated to
avoid feeling like she slept with one more guy who didn’t care about her.
And so now her EGO is on the line. Now, seeing you again after having had sex
with you is validating to her EGO.
Simply by having had sex with a girl — your opinion becomes immensely more
valuable to her.
It’s 100% irrational, but that’s how girls work.

SEX IS THE FASTEST WAY TO CREATE INFATUATION

So, if you want to make her infatuated with you — the fastest way to do so is to
have sex with her, either the same day you meet her, or on your first or second
date. But ideally as soon as possible.
Having sex with you will make her feel intensely invested in her relationship with
you, and this will put you in the driver’s seat.
There are two primary ways you’re going to have sex with women: the first is
the same day lay, the same night sex, whatever.

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We covered how to do that in detail in the last 3 modules — and if you remember, I
said the key to same day sex is the trifecta of: (1) arousal, (2) familiarity, and (3)
isolation.
However, not every girl you meet is going to have sex with you that same day
or night. Obviously.
You should always push for that — and that should always be your primary
objective.
However, if for SOME reason — you push and you push and push for the
same night lay, but it just can’t happen —
THEN you take her number, and you plan to see her again.
It’s a BACK UP plan. Taking her number and getting her on a date is ALWAYS your
Plan B. And that’s because it’s always the most UNCERTAIN option.
And if you make it your plan A, you will basically end up THROWING AWAY
perfectly hot girls who would have been happy to sleep with you that same night
but lose interest now that you’ve left after having got their number.

PLAN A: SAME NIGHT LAY

PLAN B: PHONE NUMBER —> TEXTING —> FIRST DATE —> SEX

So we’ve talked a lot about plan. Let’s talk about Plan B.

You can’t make the same night lay happen, so you get the girl’s number.
What now?
Well, now the game largely becomes one of patience and persistence.

Turning phone numbers into dates and sex

There’s a standard and repeatable process I always follow when I get a girl’s
number and text her to come on a date with me.
I have honed and refined this process to the point that I can now usually get
around 3/5 girls I meet to come meet me after getting her number — assuming the
initial interaction was solid.
So what I’m going to do now is just outline this step by step. This is gonna be very
practical and straightforward — and you don’t have to copy this process exactly,

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but if you’re having trouble with getting phone numbers that flake, this will really
help.

ANTI FLAKE MOVE #1:

Get her chasing you in the initial interaction
The more she chases you, the more invested she’ll become. And the more
invested she is, the more likely she is to actually want to see you again when you
call her.
How do you get her chasing you?
It’s the same basic tactics we discussed in Module 2: push/pull, teasing, negging,
being challenging, being polarizing.
All this stuff will get girls chasing, and will consequently make your numbers way
more solid

ANTI FLAKE MOVE #2:

Get her passively invested by spending time together
Another thing you can do to really make the number more solid is spend as much
time as possible with the girl in the initial interaction. We got into this in Module 3.
Again, the more time you spend with her, the more it increases her feeling of
familiarity and being invested in the relationship with you — which makes her way
less likely to flake when you text her later.

ANTI FLAKE MOVE #3:

Stick around for at least another half hour after getting her phone number
This is a subtle point but it will really lower your flake rate.
Basically, getting a girl’s number after having met her can kind of seem like a bit of
a formality.
Essentially, when you ask for her number, and she gives it to you, and then you
leave right away — you’re putting yourself in the category of the dozens or
hundreds of other guys who got her number, and who she later flaked on.
By contrast, if you get her number, and then STAY THERE and hang out with her
for another hour or so — it just tends to make the number way more solid because
it feels more “real”.

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You’re not just some social robot collecting numbers from every girl he happens to
talk to. You actually enjoy spending time with her — as demonstrated by the fact
that you stuck around.
You don’t have an agenda. You just enjoy her company. This makes her WAY more
likely to want to see you again — because she doesn’t feel like you’re this pickup
robot who’s just going to soullessly try to bang her like you soullessly got her
number.

ANTI FLAKE MOVE #4:

As soon as you do leave, text her something funny immediately.
The best thing here is something that teases her a little for something that
happened in your face to face interaction, e.g. maybe while you were talking she
accidentally dribbled some coffee on her chin, you could text her right afterwards,
“great to meet you Rebecca, try not to drool all over me next time”
It doesn’t have to make sense. And it doesn’t have to be particularly “funny”.
The key thing is just to keep the tone light, playful, teasing and flirtatious, usually
by teasing her or remarking on something that happened in the initial interaction.
Sending a fun little text like this right after your first meeting is REALLY good
because (a) it gets your number in her phone, and immediately connects that
number to the interaction she just had with you, and (b) it causes her to associate
your texts with a vibe of fun, playfulness, non-neediness and ultimately high value.
And high value I define here as: anything that gives the girl good emotions.

ANTI FLAKE MOVE #5:

Don’t ask for compliance right away. Build the vibe with a back and forth of
cheeky, playful texts.
This goes against what a lot of PUAs say.
For example, Julien Blanc, who I respect tremendously and who used to have
arguably the best “hot girl” game of any guy ever — well, he advocates “no small
talk over text, the only purpose is to get her to come out with you.”
So what he says is like, when you text her the next day, just say to her “hey, free
tonight?”
And then no matter what she says you basically just keep it very minimal and keep
pushing her to come out.

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And I tried that approach for a long time. But I honestly have to say, it does not
work ANYTHING as well as creating playful, flirty banter over text and THEN
asking for compliance.
Really, I mean I tested both approaches thoroughly and the difference is immense.
So different guys have different views on this, but in my opinion, garnered from
texting literally hundreds of girls, your best possible move is
(1) to create a flirty back and forth banter over the course of a few messages
(2) then, when her emotions are at their peak, tell her to meet you for a drink (or
whatever your date plan is)

So how do you create this flirty banter?

CREATING FLIRTY BANTER OVER TEXT

Well, one cool little technique you can fall back on is misinterpretation
You can misinterpret anything a woman says as her wanting you. Get creative.
For example, you ask her what she’s doing and she texts back saying she’s on
vacation getting a tan. You: “I can’t believe you travelled all that way just to get a
tan to impress me”
Next time you’re texting a girl, make a game of seeing how you can reinterpret
anything she gives you as somehow indicating that she’s in love with you. The
more absurd and outlandish, the better.
(It’s funny and addictive once you get the hang of it.)
You can also inject a flirtatious vibe using role reversal. This is where you playfully
reverse the normal role between the sexes so that it’s her who’s trying to get laid,
and you who’s putting up token resistance.
For example, you can text her things like:
“You just want me for my body.”
“Play your cards right and I might let you buy me dinner.”
“So… when are you planning on asking me out?”
These are just some dumb examples — but really the key here is to twist whatever
she says into her wanting you in some way. It’s a skill you’ll learn with practice.
If you ever go too far with a joke and she gets mad, say: “I can make it up to
you, I give great massages.”

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So that’s a very brief guide to texting girls and getting some banter going.
The key thing is you don’t want to banter with her for TOO LONG.
Just get some fun flirty texts going with her back and forth to draw her into the text
conversation.
Then, when her stimulation is at its peak (which you can gauge from the speed
with which she texts you back and responds to your banter with banter of her own)
THAT’S when you want to set up the date.

Fun ways to ask her out over text:

• “Let’s meet up before we both forget how attractive the other one is”
• “I’m going to XYZ Event tonight, you can come but only if you promise not
to embarrass me in front of my friends”
• “You going to come out tonight or will you chicken out cos you’re afraid
we’ll fall in love if you meet me in person?”
• “I dare you to get a drink with me tonight”
I find it’s generally best practice to add a “winky face” after texting a girl
something like this. It keeps the tone flirty and light and stops you from
coming across as (overly) arrogant.

Now, something I’ve learned is that girls will usually not say yes to your first
date request.
Oftentimes it’ll look more like:
Flirty banter —> Ask her out —> She says no
More flirty banter the next day —> Ask her out again —> She says no
Go silent for a few days
More flirty banter next week —> Ask her out again —> She says yes.

So really what you want to be aware of when setting up dates, is that “rejection”
is a part of this process, and you just have to keep flirting, keep bantering, and
then keep asking her out intermittently.
Eventually, she’ll usually say yes.

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DO NOT turn into an angry butt-hurt asshole when she rejects your first few
date requests. That’s a FAST way to get her to lose attraction.
Don’t neg her, don’t “call her out” for being flakey or anything like that over text —
text is NOT the kind of communication where that works, and it will backfire
massively.
ALWAYS keep it playful, light, cheeky and fun. And remember: rejection is a part
of the process.
Sometimes the girl will reject your first couple of date requests just to see how you
respond. If you respond by getting aggressive and “calling her out”, you’ve
just failed the test — because that’s NOT how a guy who’s getting laid a lot
would respond.

Keeping her on the hook

If you’ve asked her out 4 or 5 times in the ways described above, and she’s
still saying no, I would generally advise that you stop trying to get her out at
that point, but just keep her “on the hook” by sending her funny, flirty, non-
needy, value-offering texts from time to time.
A great way to do this is by sending her funny memes and pictures you find
online. You really don’t have to put much effort into this, just keep a folder in your
computer open and any time you see a funny little meme or something that
makes you laugh, stick it in the folder. This way you have constant “ammo” of
stuff to text the girl and keep making contact with her.
And each time you send her something that amuses her, she’s going to naturally
associate those emotions of laughter and humor with you — which is very, very
good.
This almost seems like kind of a cheat, but it’s very very useful. Especially because
sharing a sense of humor is a real way that people do bond with each other. So
despite the fact that you’re actually making no real effort — you’re just sending her
funny shit that other people made — that will actually make her more likely to want
to see you again, because it demonstrates you have a sense of humor.

WHAT TO DO IF SHE STOPS RESPONDING TO YOUR TEXTS

Same exact strategy also works well if she’s stopped responding to your texts.

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In this case, do NOT ask for any compliance. Don’t ask her to meet you. If she
stops responding, then do keep texting her — but just keep sending her funny
little messages and jokes and observations and memes and pictures you find.
The degree to which you want to keep this girl “on the hook” even though she’s
repeatedly made excuses not to see you is up to you.
What is absolutely critical is that while you’re texting her, you ARE still out
there approaching other girls and getting their numbers.
Don’t be impatient with any one girl you’re texting. That’s simply a sign that
you’re needy as a result of not being out there approaching new girls on a
regular basis which you should be.

ALWAYS BE TEXTING ALL YOUR “LEADS” — YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE

Now that being said, while you are approaching new girls and constantly getting
new numbers, don’t neglect the numbers you do have.
Keep sending them funny value offering texts from time to time. It’s not as
hard as it seems because you can simply multiply many of the things you text.
So if you text girl A a funny meme you found, it’ll work just as well for girls B, C
and D. And even if it’s not their exact sense of humor — it’s still better than nothing
insofar as it establishes a point of contact and gets their awareness on you
again.
So what you want to go for is (1) you’re constantly getting new girls’ phone
numbers, and (2) you’re constantly texting a growing list of numbers you’ve
already gotten.
Think of it all almost like you’re running a business, and the girls whose
numbers you got are your customer list. A well run business with a tight email
marketing division will typically keep in touch with their existing customers
over email at least once a day. Sometimes they’re selling something.
Sometimes they’re just sending their customers little jokes or funny
observations or helpful tips.
Some people will get pissed off and unsubscribe? Sure. But the ones who
stay on the list will usually make that company an additional several hundred
thousand dollars in sales over time than if they didn’t stay in touch on a
regular basis.
That’s how you should be viewing this. View it systematically, not personally.
The girls in your phone are your “customer list”. Keep in contact frequently.

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Send them value offering texts. Often they won’t text you back. Keep sending
them funny texts anyway until they tell you to stop.
Sometimes one will take the bait and start responding. In this case vibe with
her for a while with some light back and forth banter, then ask her out.
You’d be amazed at how many more dates you’ll get if you run this simple
system.

YOU MUST LEVERAGE THE POWER OF “SCALE”

Because say there’s a girl you met and got her number a month or two or ago but
she didn’t meet up with you. But you’ve been able to keep her on the hook by
sending her funny texts 2 or 3 times a week.
Well, now, because you were patient — maybe a month later, for some reason
or other she’s in a different frame of mind. She’s ovulating because she’s
horny. Or she just found out her ex got a new hot girlfriend and she’s jealous
and wants to get laid. Well, now when you ask her to meet up, she agrees to
see you.
So there is a lot of power in keeping as many girls on the hook over text as
possible — even if they don’t agree to meet with you right away.
When I was first learning game in college, I was typically texting around 5-10
girls at a time, and would mass text them funny observations and remarks a few
days a week. Most didn’t respond. But some did. And as a result, I usually
wound up going on dates with around 1 or 2 new girls a week and a lot of
those dates turned into sex.
There’s enormous value in texting, but only if you leverage the power of
“scale”. Always be getting new numbers, and always be texting at least 5-10 girls
at any given time, ideally more.

FIRST DATES THAT LEAD TO SEX

So, we said that getting a woman infatuated with you is the product of high
attraction + high investment. And we said that investment only really begins after
she’s had sex with you.
It follows that when we meet a woman we really like, we want to maximize the
odds of having sex with her as soon as possible, in order to increase her

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investment, and thereby make her more committed to wanting to get into a
relationship than she otherwise would be.
We talked about how to have same day sex in the last module. And now we’re
talking about having sex with girls who’s numbers you’ve gotten.
So, to maximize the chances of having sex with her on the first date, you
generally want to follow a couple of key rules:

1. Casual is key. Do not take a girl you haven’t had sex with for dinner. You’re
way more likely to wind up having sex after having cheap drinks in a dive bar, or
going for cocktails. This sets more of a fun, lighthearted, adventurous vibe which
is more associated, whereas dinner sets a formal, stifled vibe which is not sexual.

2. Ideally, you want to go to a bar which is a 2 minute walk from your

apartment.
That’s the ideal, of course. Work with whatever you got, but try to get her to meet
you as close to your place as possible. The general rule is that the less time and
effort it takes to get from the “date location” to the “sex location” (i.e. your bed) the
better.
Structure everything so as to have the minimum amount of obstacles between the
DL and the SL. The ideal would be to have the date itself in your bedroom. While
not really realistic, the closer you can get to that ideal, the better the results you’ll
tend to have.

3. Another very effective tip is, if she agrees to go out with you, tell her to meet
you at your place first.
When telling her to come to yours, you make it clear that the plan is not to stay
there, but only for her to pick you up there. (That’s important.)
When she comes up to your apartment, open the door with half a glass of wine in
your hand and invite her to come in while you finish off getting ready. When she
does, offer her a drink and let her get comfortable.
It may happen that you have such good chemistry that you never even need to
leave the house at all and you just end up drinking, making out and having sex.
But even if not, it’s still a good idea to invite her up and give her the tour first
anyway.

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It makes her much more likely to come back to your place later on after the date’s
finished, because now she has a clear image in her mind of what to expect.
So, as to the date itself, there’s two particularly good ones that tend to lead to
sex in my experience:

#1: Cocktails in a bar very close to your apartment.

After a little bit of banter over text, send her a text saying: “Do you like
margaritas?”
When she says yes, say you know a place that does great margaritas and say you
want her to come with you.
Go somewhere as close to your place as possible, so it's easy to get her to come
to your apartment after.

#2: Another first date idea that tends to work well is to offer to make her
dinner at your place.
Learn to cook one or two meals pretty well. If you’re even half decent at it, the girl
will usually be super impressed.
This whole setup works great because you’re making it extremely easy for her to
go to bed with you, while at the same time giving her the ultimate “plausible
deniability” that by going to your place on the first date, she’s not being slutty.
She can basically tell her friends (and herself), “wow, he must really be into me
since he’s making me dinner, what a great guy”... thus allowing her to rationalize
going over to your place, even though she knows she’s really doing it for the sex.
(On the other hand, if you just said, “come over to my place for drinks” as a first
date, with nothing else planned for the night, there’s no plausible deniability, and
she’d feel slutty for saying yes because it’s clear sex is implicit.)

“DATE GAME”
Date game is the same as regular game.
The only difference is that it’s easier in the sense that you have the girl’s full
attention.
Now, on the date itself, you pretty much just want to approach it exactly you
would if you would if you were chatting up a girl in bar.

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Lots of teasing. Lots of eye contact, touching, a vibe which alternates
between playful and challenging.
Lots of venue changes if possible. Lead the girl around through different
venues and environments.
It can also be helpful to get the conversation onto sex in a general, abstract way
whenever possible, both to demonstrate that you’re non judgemental about sex
and also simply to get her mind focused on it. (And we talked about that in the last
module)
And from a date, you basically pull the exact same way you would in the initial
pickup which is — offer your hand, when she takes it, say “follow me” and
lead her back to your place.
Then you deal with objections as they arise using creative problem solving, risk
reversal etc. For example: “Just back for one drink, and I’ll pay for your taxi
home as soon as you want to leave.”
You make the offer compelling by removing all risk.

I won’t get into sex and last minute resistance because this has been covered a lot
in my other products. But if you want a quick introduction to being great in bed, go
to the last few chapters of the Domination Principle.
Or if you really want to blow a girl’s mind in the sack, I’d recommend you grab a
copy of my advanced sex course The Nympho Activation System.

THE 22 KEYS TO CREATING “INFATUATION” WITH A WOMAN AFTER SEX

1. Be a little bit mysterious.
2. Don’t always text her back. She should be texting you about twice as much
as you’re texting her.
3. Be unpredictable.
4. Have other things going on in your life.
5. Don’t always agree to meet her.
6. Continue to approach other girls on a regular basis. This will keep your vibe
extremely non-needy and attractive. Also, the practice you get from
approaching other girls will mean you’re still highly charismatic and funny
when you do talk to her.

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7. Don’t become reliant on having sex with her. It will make you needy and
ruin your vibe
8. Always have other irons in the fir.
9. Be on your purpose in life.
10. Take an evening in which you get a notepad, and write down exactly how
your life would look if you could have anything you wanted with no
limitations. Do this for all the major aspects of life: your career, finances,
body / health, sex life, social life. Figure out what you have to do to reach
your goal in each of these areas and work towards them on a daily basis
11. It’s essential you have a vision or overarching ambition which drives you
in life, and which is more important than girls. You don’t even have to tell your
girl about this — simply having an overarching aim or theme to your life will
come across in how you behave, how you hold yourself as a man and the
self-respect you have. This will keep girls you’re dating stuck to you like glue.
12. Give her great sex.
13. Have personal boundaries for what you will and will not tolerate from her.
My personal boundaries are: if my girl starts nagging me, giving me shit,
arguing with me for more than one minute, I immediately put my foot down
and make it clear that she can leave now and go find someone else if that’s
how she feels.
It might seem harsh but it’s absolutely ESSENTIAL to keeping a girl hooked
on you. She must see that you have boundaries and that you’re willing to walk
away from her at any time if she crosses those boundaries. It’s actually
important for her to see this in order to continue feeling attraction for you.
14. Your power as a man comes from your ability to walk away. Remember
that at all times.
15. Sometimes a girl will push your buttons because she wants to see if
you’re prepared to walk away. When you do, she’ll apologize and beg you to
come back, in which case, do so, and then bang her brains out. If she pushes
your buttons and you don’t show her that you’re willing to walk, she will lose
attraction.
A quick analogy here which I think is very useful.

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I was watching Fox News yesterday, and they were talking about how
President Trump had just bombed an empty air base in Syria as a response to
Assad allegedly using chemical weapons.
And Brit Hume made a very intelligent point. And what he said was basically
this “America practices diplomacy in a very different way from any other
country. That is to say, we practice diplomacy underlined by the threat of
force. Which is something none of our allies do. And when your diplomacy is
underlined by the threat of force, that threat has to be credible — or else your
diplomacy doesn’t work. And for that reason, occasionally, you have to use
whatever excuse you can to use force from time to time — simply to create a
good diplomatic environment for doing deals with other countries.”
And that is a profoundly intelligent point.
The idea being — it really doesn’t matter whether or not Assad used chemical
weapons. From time to time the US president has to bomb somebody — just
to show the world that he still can.
Because if doesn’t, then the threat of force is no longer believable and
legitimate American diplomacy suffers as a result.
Very, very interesting.
Now, how does this apply to relationships with women?
Well, it turns out — this is actually a perfect metaphor for keeping your girl
hooked on you.
And what it comes down to is that your power in the relationship is based on
your ability to walk away from it at any time.
And simply saying you’re willing to walk away if she crosses is not enough to
keep her hooked on you.
It’s the same as America saying, “well don’t misbehave or we will bomb you.”
That threat only works for a while — until eventually people start to say, “well
there’s no credibility there because it’s just empty threats”, and then you lose
authority.
So what this means is that occasionally, you have to be proactive about
showing your woman that you’re willing to walk away.
And that means you have to pay attention. And when she does something
that pisses you off or that’s out of line as far as what you’ve determined

23
crosses your personal boundaries, you’ve got to legitimately be prepared to
say “alright, if that’s how you feel maybe we shouldn’t see each other”.
And if the girl is attracted to you, then almost every time you do this, she’ll
immediately come back by saying “no, no, I’m sorry, let’s make it work,
please.”
It’s a bit of bluff.
But at the same, it’s not a bluff. It has to be real. You have to really train your
girl that if she crosses a boundary, you’re ready to walk at any time.
And underlining that, you need to have legitimate abundance.
In other words, you need to be able to KNOW — not hope, but know, deep in
your bones — that if you walk away from this girl, you have the skills to
replace her within a relatively short period of time.
And THAT is the basis of infatuation.
Knowing that you could leave her and replace her, will you make MAGNETIC
to the woman you’re with.

16. A pair and a spare. You should always have at least 3 different options on
the go at once, whether they’re girls you’re fucking or just texting in the
expectation of eventually fucking
17. Abundance is attractive, and for the hottest girls it is an ESSENTIAL
18. She must feel like she had to win you over. It doesn’t matter how much
you want to make her your GF from the very first time you meet, she has to
feel like she competed with other girls who were trying to get you and WON.
19. The girl wants to feel like you’re BETTER than her and she’s managed to
get a guy who’s out of her league (that’s what EVERYONE wants in a partner,
male and female). Allow her to fulfill that fantasy by continuing to chase other
girls after you’ve fucked this one.
20. Your relationships should ALWAYS go along the following sequence: girl
you fucked, friend with benefits, girlfriend. Think of it like a company. You
can’t be CEO until you’re a senior manager, and you can’t be a senior
manager until you’re middle management. A girl can’t be a GF unless she was
a fuckbuddy first.

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21. Never be the one to suggest she should be your girlfriend. That’s HER job.
Once she’s had sex with you a few times, she will NATURALLY start trying to
make things more serious. This is how it happens when she’s ATTRACTED.
And this is how it NEEDS to happen if the relationship is going to be a healthy
one.
22. The ONLY way you get a smokeshow girlfriend is to be having so much
fun being single that it actually feels like you’re going BACKWARDS by
getting serious with her.

GETTING HER INTO A RELATIONSHIP

WHEN GETTING INTO RELATIONSHIPS, ATTRACTION IS MORE IMPORTANT
THAN LOVE
Love is not the key to a healthy relationship. ATTRACTION is.
Love is wonderful and will come naturally with attraction — assuming you’re really
right for each other.
Relationships can last without love — and they can be really fun and sexy. I’ve had
relationships where I wasn’t “in love” with the girl, but we still had great sex and
got on well.
Obviously, it’s preferable to be in love and attracted. But you can’t be in love
without attraction.
And that’s because attraction is the foundation of love. A woman can’t fall in
love with you unless she’s attracted to you.
Physiologically impossible.
Now, of course, once you start getting older, and say, you’ve been with a woman
your entire life and now you’re both in your 70s — OK, obviously at that point,
attraction is now less important, because you do have a deep bond which will
probably be permanent.
But the fact that old people can be in love but not sexually attracted to each is
facilitated by the fact that as you get older, you lose your sex drive.
So that is the one exception to this principle.
But, among heathy, fit adults — who are not elderly — attraction is more important
than love, because without attraction there can be no real love.

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Women and men need sexual release in order to be mentally healthy.
If you’re in a relationship, and the girl has lost attraction to you — well, that’s fine if
you’re both 75 and so neither one of you has a sex drive.
But if you’re in your twenties or thirties or forties, and she’s no longer attracted,
well, she still needs a sexual release to feel mentally stable and be properly in her
femininity. But because you’re no longer arousing to her, she can’t get that release
— and it can cause her to become nasty, and toxic and unpleasant.
Much the same that guys who can’t get laid also become nasty and toxic in many
ways.
Both men and women need their sexual release — as a general rule.
And if you can’t sustain a woman’s level of attraction to you — then she can’t get
that release from you, and it causes her to start resenting you.
And under those conditions, LOVE DIES.
And that is why attraction is more important than love.

So, if you understand that ATTRACTION — not “love” — but ATTRACTION and to
be more precise AROUSAL is the real key to sustaining a phenomenal relationship
with your ideal girl, that begs the question:
Can we keep a girl AROUSED in the context of a long term relationship?
Especially, given that the very structure of a monogamous relationship, often tends
to turn the guy into a beta male, who consequently stops being arousing to his
woman?
Well, that’s what I’m going to talk about today.
And I’m gonna lay out a few principles here, that are going to seem fairly
controversial — actually.
And here’s the first of several controversial relationship principles that I’ll lay out:

Every relationship you have with a woman should start out as an OPEN
RELATIONSHIP.
By this I mean that you’re sleeping with several different women, although you
have one who you like more than the rest — your “primary”. And gradually, over
time, your primary starts trying to get you to be exclusive with her — and
eventually you agree, but grudgingly.

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And this process of getting in a relationship is actually mandatory if you want to
eventually have a long term relationship.
That’s right. Mandatory. Not optional.
Now, that’s kind of a radical idea for a lot of people. But before you start objecting,
let me explain why I believe this to be true.
Well, there’s actually a lot of reasons, but the main one is that people only value
what they’ve worked hard for.

People only value what they’ve worked hard for.

This is a universal of human psychology — and if you ignore it, or you pretend it
doesn’t exist or doesn’t apply to your girl or you’re relationship — you’re in for a
world of pain.
Because it’s universally true of all human beings.
The harder and longer we have worked to get something, the more highly we value
it, and the more committed we are to holding onto it.
Women do not value men who they did not have to work hard to get.
Period.
Something you have to understand is that, from one way of looking at it, you don’t
have any fixed value to a girl.
Rather, your value to a woman will be determined by how hard she had to
work to get you.
From one way of looking at it.
Now, obviously, as I’ve said, before you do have CORE VALUE to women just
because you’re a man.
But after that, really, your value is largely determined not by YOU or any
innate characteristic that you have — but by how hard or how long the girl in
question has had to work to get you.
This is why, in a pickup context, you may have found that when you neg girls,
tease them or run push/pulls on them — they are more immediately more attracted
and compliant, and will be much more likely to go home with you.
Well, why is that?
Because the act of doing push/pulls and takeaways and so on fundamentally is
designed to get her to chase you. And the more she chases you, the more she
values you.

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People don’t value that which they haven’t worked hard for. It’s true in terms of a
career. It’s true in education. It’s true in relationships.
To set the right frame for a truly healthy relationship, it has to begin with “the
chase”.
And here’s what the chase is.
You chase her to get her into bed. This can take anything from a few minutes to
a few weeks. And so you value her. And if she’s a really great girl — a total 10 —
then when you sleep with her, you actually value her more rather than less, as can
happen when she’s not great, or has a good body but a bad personality.
Then, she chases you to get you in a relationship. And this can take anything
from a few weeks to a few years, even — as is the case with my current
relationship, in which I was seeing my girlfriend but also dating other girls on the
side for the first 2 years we were together.
The point is, she has to chase you for the relationship in order to value it when
she gets it. She has to be working for it.
And that will manifest in several ways. She’ll make an effort to look great. She’ll
make an effort to be a fucking firecracker in bed. She’ll treat you extra sweet,
and be a delightful little ball of feminine energy whenever you’re around her.
And when you finally give in, and you give her what she wants, her chasing you
and trying to please you will have become a HABIT.
And so it will take on a momentum, whereby she KEEPS looking after her looks
and being sweet and affectionate and being great in bed — even though she got
what she wanted.
And that is how you get into a phenomenal relationship. But it has to start off open.
It has to start from a frame, where you are getting laid with other girls, and
she wants to be exclusive, so she works hard to be so attractive to you that
eventually agree to being exclusive.

CREDIBLE THREAT
This comes to down to the principle of what I call “credible threat”
If there’s no credible threat that you meet another girl who’s as hot as her — if
there’s no credible that you could go out and get laid more or less on command —
then the girl does not have to chase you, because she knows you have no better
options.

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And because she doesn’t have to chase you, she doesn’t exert a large amount
of energy or effort into getting you.
And because we only value that which we’ve WORKED HARD for, she will not
value you highly. And that is a recipe for a toxic, nasty, draining relationship which
ends up being worse than no relationship at all.
So the principle of credible threat is very important. This is why you must be
constantly approaching new girls, constantly working on your game.

OPEN RELATIONSHIPS
So you might be wondering here, “Well, OK, but how do I even get into an open
relationship? How do I set it up so that I’m sleeping with multiple girls,
including my ‘primary’ while she’s happy with that, and even exclusive to
me?”
Seems kind of like a fantasy that could never be real?
Well, it’s actually not.
I would say that what I’ve just described is the actual the DEFAULT relationship
that an alpha male has with his “primary girl” in a state of nature — i.e. in the
natural state of human beings before social conditioning fucked us all sideways.
Here’s what it comes down to. This is the secret to open relationships. It’s
actually very simple.

Be honest with women about what you want. And don’t get pushed into doing
what you don’t want.

You owe it to the girl to sleep with her to see if there’s chemistry there before
committing to a relationship.
You have to find out if you have chemistry with a girl before you commit to being
exclusive.
And you don’t do that in a single evening, or in a couple of days.
Because of dumb, stupid social conditioning, people are rushing into relationships
with each other on the basis of LUST.
And lust is a DUMB fucking reason to be in a relationship.

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SEX AND EMOTIONAL PERCEPTION
Here’s a key principle:
“You don’t know if she’s right for you until your balls are drained.”
Let me ask you a question.
Have you ever met a girl who you were VERY, very attracted to? And you were so
infatuated with this girl that you thought you may actually be in love with her?
And then it happens that you wind up having sex with her, you have an orgasm,
and immediately after — you’re looking down at her and you realize, “oh my god, I
just want this girl to go away.”
If you’re normal person, that will actually be the case with MOST women you sleep
with.
It’s RARE that you’ll fuck a girl, and right after cumming, still have strong positive
feelings for her, and really want to stay there and cuddle and keep talking to her.
And when you meet a girl like that — that’s a pretty sign that you actually have
REAL CHEMISTRY and that is a good candidate to be a long term girlfriend.
The problem is:
You can’t KNOW that until your balls are drained.
Because men have evolved in such a way that when your balls are full of cum,
and you’re horny, your DNA will straight up TRICK YOU into believing you’re
in love with a girl.
And I’m not being facetious here. I mean, very often, you will 100% straight up feel
like you are IN LOVE with this woman up until you sleep with her.
And I think the reason for that actually is that men have probably evolved to be
able to fool themselves into thinking they’re in love with random women in order to
better manipulate that women into putting out under the impression that he really
is committed.
It’s not pretty to say that, but I think that is really what goes on — and it is why
masculinity, and the male nature, does get fairly criticized by women for being
deceitful and manipulative to get sex.
And there’s real truth in that. Or course what women don’t realize is that we not
only deceive them into thinking we’ll give them commitment — but male horniness
is so intense and so mind-bending that it actually causes us to DECEIVE
OURSELVES into thinking we’re in love.

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OK. So very important.
You must set the frame from DAY ONE that you do what you like and she can
either stick around or not.
TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. My or the high way.
“Oh, you don’t have sex with guys unless he’s made commitment? That’s
cool. I don’t get in relationships unless I’m positive there’s great chemistry,
and there’s no way of knowing that until you’ve connected sexually. So it’s
good to know where you stand. Obviously we don’t share the same values, so
what I can do now is drive you back to your place, and I’ll hit the bar and find
another girl.”
Now — that’s a bit strong.
You wouldn’t want to LITERALLY say those words — but that should be the
general VIBE that’s coming across.
Definite standards for what kind of relationship you want. Personal boundaries
for what kind of relationship you’re not willing to tolerate.

LEARNING TO ARTICULATE YOUR BOUNDARIES HONESTLY

However, the my way or the highway frame is just one side of the coin to getting in
open relationships.
The other side is HONEST, ARTICULATE communication.
This was a personal failing of mine for many years.
I had strong personal boundaries — but I was not good at communicating them in
a way that made sense to the girl.
So, for instance, I would have dates with girls where we were both really into each
other. And maybe I’d go on one or two dates with this girl, and even on the second
date, she refused to come home with me.
And on one hand, I knew from studying pickup that wasn’t good. I was not going
to be strung along by some girl, and buy her drinks, and text her every day and
give her attention if we weren’t sleeping together. I knew that was a bad frame, and
would not end well.
But I was bit HARSH in how I chose to communicate this. So for example, one
time, I remember I was on this date with a girl, and we’d already fooled around a
bit the first night we met, and then I went on two dates with her — and we made

31
out both times, but even on the second she wouldn’t come home with me, or let
me come back to her place.
And I told her straight up, “look, I’m a sexual guy. We clearly have sexual
chemistry. You’re attracted to me. You can make all these excuses about how you
don’t want to come home with me, but at the end of the day, it’s just playing
games, and it’s a big turn off to me. So, I’ll see you later.”
And the girl would be nearly in tears — but of course, because I was not
communicating properly, she also didn’t want to be pressured into putting out.
And so I would leave, and not text her again.
And I threw away a few relationships that could have actually been really good that
way.
And I went over this for YEARS afterwards, trying to think of what I could have
done right.
And what was missing there — was I had strong personal boundaries, but I was
not good at honestly, articulately communicating them.

So here’s exactly what I would say to that girl now. And this is how I would have
ended up not only sleeping with her, but being in an open relationship — where
she was actually HAPPY for me to see other girls.
And I know this would have worked, because since then I’ve used this basic script
on several other girls who were HAPPY for me to see other women while I was
with them, in the initial months or years of that relationship.
So what I would say to a girl is this:
“Listen. A lot of guys are scumbags. A lot of guys will tell a girl (either
implicitly or explicitly) that they’re willing to commit to her just to get in her
pants. And then after they’ve had sex with her, they’ll break their promise and
leave her feeling sad, wounded and betrayed.
“I am NOT one of those guys. And I am never going to be one of those guys.
And the reason why is that I would never communicate to a woman that I
wanted to be exclusive until after it became clear that we have absolutely
phenomenal chemistry together. And I don’t just sexual chemistry — although
that’s obviously important. I also emotional chemistry. Even conversational
chemistry. And not everyone would agree — but in my opinion, having great
chemistry is the absolute foundation of a great relationship.

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“And in my experience, you can’t figure out if you have chemistry over the
course of a single evening, or a couple of dates. It only becomes clear after
you really know them and have a great bond together, both emotionally and
sexually.
“And so for this reason, I’ve never committed to exclusive with a woman until
we’ve had sex a few times and gone on at least a dozen dates. Because if I
was to break that, and rush into a relationship before seeing if there’s
chemistry, there’s a chance that we’d both find out there’s none — but
because I’ve made that commitment to be exclusive, she’s going to feel
betrayed and hurt when that happens. And I don’t want to be responsible for
that.
“So, what I would say is this. I love spending time with you. And I’m not in any
rush for us to have sex. And that being said, to me, commitment is something
can only come after you figure out if you have a sexual connection with
someone or not.
“And if you think that commitment has to come first, that’s cool. We can be
friends. I can date other girls. Don’t worry about me at all. I have other girls in
my phone I could text right now and go hang out with. I won’t do that
because I enjoy spending time with you more than anyone else. But if we
have a major values conflict about whether or not it’s good to rush into an
exclusive commitment before figuring out if there’s chemistry (which I think is
a BAD IDEA), then obviously we wouldn’t be compatible.”

So you want to say something like that to her.

And don’t force her into a verbal commitment one way or another — but just float
that out there.
See how she responds.
And you’d be surprised by how many women will actually respond
EXTREMELY POSITIVELY to that.
Because you’re not lying to her. You’re not trying to mislead. You’re being very
clear about what you want and WHY you want it. And she’ll be able to sense
that conviction from you.
And that’s sexy. That’s sexy to women.
And if you phrase it more or less the way I’ve laid out, you’ll find that the girl will
very often have the following kind of response in her mind:

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And she’ll think something like this:
“Well, normally, I don’t sleep with a guy until after he’s made a commitment.
But what he’s saying about chemistry makes sense. And because he’s being
honest with me, if I do decide to sleep with him, then I’m at least doing
knowing full well that we may not end up in a relationship. BUT THAT’S OKAY
— because I know what I’m getting into, and so I can make my decision
about it with a clear head, and because he’s not lying to me.”

And what you’ll find is that many girls who would absolutely DEAD SET against
being in a quote unquote “open relationship” — well, if you’ve framed it the
way I’ve just said, they’re willing to make an exception.
And it’s not manipulative. It’s the exact opposite.
Because look, the girl wants pleasure in the form of sex. So does every human
being with a pulse.
What causes women to have bad associations with putting out too soon is guys
who have LIED about their level of commitment in order to get her to do that.
But when you don’t lie, and you’re just 100% honest about what you believe and
what type of relationship you’re willing to get into, then it opens up a space for her
to think, “you know what? I’ve never dated a guy under this kind of arrangement.
But he seems decent, and he seems honorable and honest about what he wants.
And I’m attracted to him. And I find him sexy. And so, what the hell, I’ll give this a
shot, and see what happens. ”
And THAT — that is the foundation you want to start any relationship on.
She’s not being misled that you’re exclusive.
And you’re not trapped into an exclusivity which is premature.

SEEING OTHER GIRLS WILL MAKE YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE TO HER

And funny enough, the fact that you are able to have a sexual relationship with her
while sleeping with other girls, will actually make you MORE ATTRACTIVE to your
primary girl.
More attractive.
Here’s why.

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#1. You’ll be 100% non-needy, because you know you could go see another
girl. This comes across in your sub communications and behavior, and will
cause you to be innately “sexy” without even trying.
#2. You’ll be better in bed because of more practice at sex.
#3. You’ll more charismatic, sexier, funnier and a better communicator
because of more practice at game
#4. She will feel honestly PRIVILEGED to spend time with you you — because
she knows you can and do get other girls, but you chose to spend this time
with HER.
Think about that. Women want to feel special.
What do you think makes a girl feel more special? Being with a guy who has
no other options? Or being with a guy who has a hundred options but chose
to spend time with her?
Are you starting to see why players are so attractive to women? It’s
counterintuitive, right? But that’s the thing. When you could be with any girl, but
chose her, that makes her feel a lot more special. And so she values an open
relationship more than she would value a closed one. As crazy as that sounds —
that’s often how it actually plays out.

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