Hamza
Hamza Abidi
You are required to act as an English university teacher, particularly a technical
writing teacher at a business administration university.
Your job is to lecture students on how to write a Denial Email/Letter. A customer
did send a claim highlighting a specific problem and you deny it.
Denial is a negative message so we use the indirect method. We need to
cushion/sandwich the bad news.
Here is the structure to follow (respect the order):
- To: (receiver)
- From: (sender)
- subject line: previous correspondence
- Greetings
- Buffer
- Reasons
- Implied refusal
- positive closing
or
- date
- receiver information
- subject line: previous correspondence
- Greetings
- Buffer
- Reasons
- Implied refusal
- positive closing
- sender information
Explanation of the important component:
- Buffer:
• is an opening with a neutral but meaningful statement that does not mention the
bad news
• best news, compliment, appreciation, agreement, facts, understanding
• it's like preparing the ground for the bad news that's why we start with positive
things like an agreement or good reviews
• no negativity at all
- Reasons:
• explain the causes of the bad news before disclosing it
• cautious explanation
• company policy explanation
• evidence that matter was considered fairly and seriously
- Implied Refusal- the bad news
• Reveal the bad news without emphasizing it. Provide an alternative or compromise
if possible
• Embedded placement
• Passive voice
• Compromise
• Alternative
• Don't you ever say, "We can't give, we don't or any direct statement". Talk in a
general way that conveys the meaning of refusal
• Example: "We can't give you a refund" - "Our policy states that broken items
after 30 days of purchase are not our responsibility" - the refusal is more general
and that it's not just you but everyone that doesn't follow the policy is rejected.
- Positive closing
• End with a personalized, forward-looking, pleasant statement. Avoid referring to
the bad news
• Forward look
• Information about alternative
• Good wishes
• Freebies resale
• Sales promotion
They are required to follow these important tips:
- Good grammar and punctuation are needed.
- since it's a negative message and we are using the indirect method. we need to
"de-emphasize" what the bad news is as much as possible and at the same time we
need to be clear. Therefore, we can use general language rather addressing the
refusal to the person itself - Example we say "Although credit cannot be granted at
this, we welcome your cash business and encourage you to reapply in the future."
(we use complex sentence where we put the bad news in dependent clause then we add
the independent clause) instead of saying "we are unable to grant you credit at
this time, but we welcome your cash business and encourage you to reapply in the
future" - another example, "Due to severe financial circumstances, we are obliged
to lay off some workers" (general expressions, we use complex sentence where the
bad news is in the dependent clause. we did not target a specific person we say
it's financial state and many workers get laid off not just you) instead of saying
"we are going to lay you off"
- we need to be specific in our explanation. Remember that we have only one shot if
the customer didn't understand the meaning, he/she will request a follow-up where
we can only deny explicitly (and we don't want that to happen)
- don't let it be uncertain, be clear. But, at the same time don't state the bad
news directly (make it implied)
- use passive passive (so you focus on the action rather than the doer) to deflect
the refusal
- use may, somehow, maybe, it happens, etc... to deflect the refusal (vague
expressions)
- make the bad news in the dependent clause (complex sentences) to deflect the
refusal - Example we say "Although our resources are committed to other projects
this year, we hope to be able to contribute to your worthy cause next year" instead
of "we can't contribute to your charity this year"
- don't apologize - customer may get greedy and now he has proof that you did
something wrong
- don't blame anyone from your organization (it may lead to legal actions) just use
vague expressions and/or passive voice
- you can use company policy (if found in the situation) to justify to the customer
it's like saying it's not just you, it apply to all.
- watch your tone
- don't be emotional and negative
- show empathy
- don't forget the spacing between the parts. It needs to be visually appealing
Here is an example to follow:
"To: Chris Dendron <
[email protected]>
Subject: You Inquiry About BeoLab 8000 Speakers
Dear Mr. Dandron:
You're absolutely right. We sell the finest surround sound speakers at rock-bottom
prices. The Bang & Olufsen BeoLab 8000 stereo speakers that you purchased last
month are premier concert hall speakers.
We have such confidence in our products and prices that we offer the price-matching
policy you mention in your e-mail of March 15. That policy guarantees a refund of
the price difference if you see one of your purchases offered at a lower price for
30 days after your purchase. To qualify for that refund, customers are asked to
send us an advertisement or verifiable proof of the product price and model. As our
website states, this price-matching policy applies only to exact models with USA
warranties.
The Bang & Olufsen BeoLab 8000 speaker set sells for $1,199.99. You sent us a local
advertisement showing a price of $699.95 for Beolab speakers. This advertisement,
however, describes an earlier version, the BeoLab 6000. The set you received has a
wider dynamic range and smoother frequency response than the BeoLab 6000 set. It is
also 20 percent more compact than the BeoLab 6000. Naturally, the advanced model
you purchased costs more than the older BeoLab 6000 model.
You bought the finest compact speakers on the market, Mr. Dandron. If you haven't
installed them yet, you may be interested in ceiling mounts and other accessories,
shown on our website at http://beopalmbeach.com/beolab8000 and available at
competitive prices. We value your business and invite your continued comparison
shopping.
Sincerely,
Eddie Wilson, Senior Product Manager
BANG & OLUFSEN City Place
600 South Rosemary Place | 33401 West Palm Beach, FL | phone 561-835-1012 |
www.beopalmbeach.com"
why it's a good example:
- good buffer at the beginning
- no direct denial rather an implied one understood by the writing style
- a good closing that offers an alternative offer
- you are absolutely right (but about what?) - praise themselves
- main argument is the company policy which is good. it's not just you, it applied
to all customers who violated the policy.
- positive closing with website stated for more traffic and lead.
- overall natural language
Here's what I need to do now:
1- Please provide me with three situation in paragraph form.
Here is what the situation needs to include:
- The precise situation and complete context.
- What is exactly the problem, why it happened, and why I'm denying the claim.
- In summary, the situation needs to be detailed as much as possible
- A detailed contextual situation is required.
- Each situation requires at least 8 lines.
- If possible also provide me with the just personal information contact of the
sender and receiver.
- In summary, the situations should be varied and different from each other
Here's an example of a situation:
"Write a Claim Denial for the following Situation.
American Southern Airline (ASA), stationed in Atlanta, Georgia, had an unhappy
customer. Leticia Tomlinson flew from Atlanta to Seattle. The flight stopped
briefly at Chicago O'Hare Airport, where she got off the plane for half an hour.
When she returned to to her seat, her $400 prescription reading glasses were gone.
She asked the flight attendant where the glasses were, and the attendant said they
probably were thrown away since the cleaning crew had come in with big bags and
tossed everything in them. Ms. Tomlinson tried to locate the glasses through the
airline's lost-and-found service, but she failed. Then she wrote a strong letter to
the airline demanding reimbursement for the loss. She felt that it was obvious that
she was returning to her seat. The airline, however, due to the great numbers of
passengers switching flights, tracking every passenger is an impossible task.
Additionally, flight attendants usually announce that the plane is continuing to
another city and that passengers who are returning should take their belongings.
Cabin-cleaning crews speed through planes removing newspapers, magazines, leftover
foods, and trash. Airlines feel no responsibility for personal items left in
cabins. The airline never refunds cash, but it might consider travel vouchers for
the value of the glasses.
As a staff member of the customer relations department of American Southern
Airline, deny the customer's claim but retain her goodwill Write a claim denial to
Mrs. Leticia Tomlinson, 1952 Kanako Lane, Mount Vernon, WA 98273."
Here's a possible answer for the situation:
" April 29th ,2024
Mrs, Leticia Tomlinson
1952 Kanako Lane
Mount Vernon
WA 98 273
Subject line: Clarification for your refund request
Dear Mrs Leticia Tomlinson,
You have every right to be angry at our services. However, our airplane services
are one of the best in the market.
We ore confident in our services and the quality of our crew members. Due to the
enormous number of switching passengers we can't keep track of all their
belongings, every passenger is responsible for their stems. In addition, our
flight attendants reminds the passengers that they should take their luggage with
them when we continue to another city. Sometimes passengers get exhausted so they
don't hear the reminder made by the flight attendant.
Due to stated reasons, our company can't be responsible for every passenger lost
luggage. Additionally, in our policy, it is clear that we don't refund in cash.
We value our customers, that's why we can give you a travel voucher for one of the
best finest airplane services
Thank you for contacting us,
Sincerely,
American Southern Airlines"
why it's good:
- we show empathy and use general expressions (like somehow, sometimes, it happens,
etc...): "Sometimes passengers get exhausted so they don't hear the reminder made
by the flight attendant."
- implied refusal: "Due to stated reasons, our company can't be responsible for
every passenger lost luggage. Additionally, in our policy, it is clear that we
don't refund in cash."
- positive closing: we didn't give you what you want but we can offer you something
else.
2- Then I will give you the answer. You should, as the teacher, provide me with
detailed corrections and suggestions following exactly the structure, tips, and
examples. Tell me what I did right and what I did wrong and some general
expressions or tips I can use to improve.
