Shaping Our Sexualities (SOS):

Gender and Sexual Norms1

1

Time: 1 hour and 45 minutes

Activity Objectives:

• Identify how gender and sexual norms shape sexuality and power for different
groups.
• Understand how gender and sexual norms related to sexuality shape the HIV
epidemic.
• Identify opportunities to address gender and sexual norms related to sexuality, and
how these interventions can enhance HIV programming.

Materials:

• Cards with identity of each character

• PPT presentation “Gender, Sexuality, and HIV: So What?” Part II “Shaping Our
Sexualities (SOS): Gender and Sexual Norms”

Part I: Step In/Step Out

Time: 40 minutes

Activity:

1. In Part II of the Powerpoint presentation, show slide entitled “Gender and Sexual
Norms.” Tell participants that we are going to explore in more depth how sexual and
gender norms shape sexuality.

2. Create six small groups. Ask participants to number off from 1–6 until everyone
knows which group she or he is in. Note: Choose the characters that are most relevant
to participants’ programming contexts. If there are fewer than 12 participants, use only
5 groups and remove the character or situation that is least relevant. The exclusively
heterosexual male must remain.

3. Show the activity instructions on the PowerPoint slide. Ask the participants to stand
together in their small groups. Together, ask participants to form a larger circle, so that
all of the groups are facing each other. Once the participants have broken into their
small groups, announce that each group will represent a different person; give them
their corresponding character cards as follows:

1
Activity adapted from Naz Foundation, 2001. “Race Course Game.” P.46-47 in Training Manual:
An Introduction to Promoting Sexual Health for Men Who Have Sex with Men and Gay Men. New
Delhi: Naz Foundation.
Characters:
A married woman who grows vegetables and sells them in the market. Her husband
spends time away from home for seasonal work. He can be violent upon return, accusing
her of having earned extra money from relationships from other men while at the
market.

Non-married, exclusively heterosexual man who owns a small business. He most

often pays for sex, especially when traveling outside of his town.

A young man who has sex with both men and women and lives with his extended
family, who assume that he is heterosexual. He is attracted to and looks for validation
from older men who assume the more dominant role.

Female sex worker with a boyfriend. While they used condoms at the start of their
relationship, they have not recently as they have been together now for six months and
their relationship is getting more serious.

A non-married, female high school student who is living away from home for the
first time. She has her material needs met. She is attracted to a boy a year ahead of her
at high school. When in town, some young men at the university have also started to
notice her.

A young, recently married man who has had one daughter with his wife. He and
his wife have agreed to wait until they have more children. His extended family and
neighbors tease that he is almost like a girl (and make jokes about his virility), because
he spends time with his wife and daughter—and has no immediate plans to try to
produce a son.

A middle-aged, out, self-identified gay man who has lived through the HIV epidemic
in his country and feels comfortable spending time at established social clubs and
restaurants that make a point of welcoming gay, bi, trans, and other MSM.

4. Discuss briefly as a large group what each behavior/identity means. Make any
clarifications needed.

Facilitator Note: This exercise can also be done as a "board game" using flipchart
paper. Make six columns on the flipchart, one for each group, and then add rows
according to the number of questions being asked (choose 10–12 questions).

5. Each group assumes the assigned behavior or identity. Tell the group that we are
going to see how much room each person has to move, related to their sexuality.
Explain that the facilitator will ask a series of questions. Each group should briefly
discuss how they think their person would respond to the question. For each question it
is possible to answer only YES or NO. If the answer to a question is YES, then the group
takes one step forward into the circle. If the answer is NO then the group stays where it
is. The groups will be asked to explain their responses to the rest of the participants.
Any of the groups may comment on or question another group's response. After
participants have responded to each question, they all go back to the edge of the circle
(prior to responding to the next question).
6. All questions are related to the levels of empowerment and marginalization of the
characters, related to sexuality. The questions link to the different areas of sexuality
examined in the Circles of Sexuality exercise. To help the participants understand the
exercise, you may use the first question as an example and help the teams to work out
their responses. If their response is YES, make sure that they take a step forward into
the circle.

Sensuality
• Do you nearly always experience pleasure during sex?
• Do you know what is most pleasurable to you sexually?
• Do you know what is most pleasurable to your partner?

Practices
• Is it acceptable for you to masturbate?
• Would your sexual practices be respected and seen as legitimate by the broader
community?

Health and Reproduction

• Would it be easy for you to find relevant information (brochures, posters, etc.) about
your sexual health?
• Can you openly discuss your sexual practices and concerns with a provider?
• If you are HIV positive, are you treated with respect, empathy, and care in public
health facilities?

Intimacy
• Could you have a long-term relationship with the partner of your choice?
• Do you feel comfortable sharing intimate feelings, thoughts, or gestures with your
partner?

Sexual orientation and gender identity

• Would most people you meet be correct in their assumption about your sexual
orientation?
• Can you openly express your sexual orientation and gender identity without fear of
violence?

Power
• Can you ask for sex when you want it?
• Can you refuse sex when you want to?
• Is it easy for you to insist that a condom be used during sex?
• Can you carry out your sexual practices without fear of being arrested, fined, or
otherwise criminalized?
7. Upon completion of the game, ask participants to come back to the larger group.
How did the different groups feel about the position of the individual they were
representing? Did they feel happy, unhappy, frustrated, discriminated against, etc.?
Were participants surprised by the outcomes—who was able to move, and who was not?

8. Facilitate a discussion regarding the various factors that allowed them to move (to
step into the circle) or kept them from being able to move.

What patterns, similarities, and differences, did you see among characters?
• Who was able to move? Who could not?
• What questions (dimensions) of sexuality had more movement? Less?
• How did expectations of proper ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ behavior (gender
norms) affect who was able to move? For which questions (and dimensions) of
sexuality?
• How did expectations of what’s proper ‘sexual’ behavior (sexual norms) affect
who was able to move? Which sexual behaviors are privileged (accorded more
power and ability to move)? How do these affect who was able to move—and
in relation to what questions?
• How did norms work (enable or constrain movement) within relationships or
sub-cultures, versus within broader community and institutional expectations?

What does this tell us about:

• What is most valued in society? What is/isn’t acceptable?
• Who has more power? When?
• What does this imply for HIV programming?

9. Summarize the discussion, highlighting the following points:

• Gender and sexual norms shape who has power in sexual relations.
• Gender norms—expectations of what is proper feminine or masculine behavior
related to sexuality—affect men, women, and trans people in relations with same
and opposite sex partners. For example: men in a traditional masculine role decide
when and how to have sex; women and those in a feminine role are expected to
comply and face threat of violence if they do not. In the broader community, same-
sex relations are often stigmatized for violating gender norms (that proper norms of
masculinity include sex with and dominance over women). For women, sexual
behaviors and relations that fall outside of norms are often met with threats or acts
of violence, stigma and discrimination.
• Sexual norms—expectations of what’s acceptable sexual behavior—also affect men,
women, and trans people in relations both with same and opposite sex partners.
‘Acceptable’ sex is penile-vaginal intercourse. Other forms of sexual behavior are
often stigmatized and silenced. Sex is supposed to occur within the institution of
marriage or within stable partnerships; multiple sexual partners or paying for sex is
stigmatized (and in many instances criminalized). Talking about sexuality openly is
 still often taboo; most providers do not feel comfortable talking about sexual
practices.
• Gender and sexual norms related to sexuality also shape power in other areas of
one’s life—such as how the community or institutions respect, protect, and uphold
your rights, or enact stigma and discrimination.
• Other sources of inequality also contribute to a person’s relative status and power
related to sexuality (e.g., age, race, ethnicity, etc.).
• Gender and sexual norms reinforce each other. Together, gender and social norms
enforce dominant power inequalities. What is valued/privileged/assumed/correct in
society is masculine, heterosexual, white (or the dominant ethnic/racial group), and
financially secure. This reinforces a hierarchy of relations (men over women, more
‘masculine’ men over ‘less masculine’ men, and adult men over younger men).
• Individuals and groups may have the agency to act outside of these norms. The
degree to which individuals and groups are able to successfully act outside them and
reshape sexual power relations to be more equitable depends on many contextual
factors (including a person’s own social position, social capital, community norms,
laws, etc). It is important to indentify where these opportunities exist, while also
recognizing the larger inequalities that constrain these factors.
• These gender and sexual norms—and the related inequalities or opportunities to
reshape them—carry over into which sexual practices are valued or stigmatized and
punished, who has the power to make decisions about sex, whose sexual pleasure
and well-being is most important, and whose experiences and what perceived
opportunities inform the development and delivery of HIV programming and
services.

Part II: Lecturette with PowerPoint

Time: 20 minutes

Activity:

1. Transition by saying that we now want to focus in more detail on the HIV implications
of gender and sexual norms related to sexuality.

2. Deliver the PowerPoint slides on sexual and gender norms and inequalities, making
connections with the activity and discussion.

3. After the presentation, debrief by asking the following questions:

• Was there anything in the presentation that surprised you?

• Do you agree with the main points of the presentation? Why or why not?
• What further points or examples would you add?
• Can some of the key points made in the presentation apply to the work that you do?
Why or why not?
Part III: Identifying Intervention Opportunities
Time: 45 minutes

Activity:

1. Explain that we will return to each of the characters. We want to consider what
specific programming interventions might help to address the power imbalances each
character faces with regard to sexuality, and to enhance HIV program outcomes.

2. Ask each group to return to their character, and take 20 minutes to answer the
following questions:

• In what areas (dimensions of sexuality) did your character experience constraints on

their power and agency? Opportunities?
• What key gender or sexual norms contributed to these constraints or opportunities?
• What 2–3 options can you identify to address these gender and sexual norms?
• How would these proposed interventions reduce HIV vulnerability and/or enhance
access to prevention, treatment, and support?
3. Ask each group to report. When all groups have finished, facilitate a discussion
addressing the following:

• How was this exercise? Easy or hard?

• What struck you about people’s responses?
• What new intervention ideas do you have?

4. Close the activity by recapping the central role that gender and sexual norms play in
shaping sexuality—and in the relative power and well-being with which people are able
to enjoy their sexual relations. Emphasize that being able to identify and respond to
gender and sexual norms that shape sexuality is critical to effective HIV responses.