East West University

Department of English

ENG 102

English Composition and Communication Skills

Compilation for Mid 1

Correction Symbols

Paraphrase

Summary Writing

Descriptive Essay

Narrative Essay

Symbols Meaning Faulty sentences Corrected sentences

Agr/suv Subject verb He never ​come​ to class on He never ​comes​ to class

agreement time. on time.

indiai​ s a great country with its India ​is a great country

diverse cultural and ethnic with its diverse cultural and

Cap Capitalization error groups. ethnic groups.

Dm Dangling modifier After talking to him​, the After talking to him​, I

instruction was clear. clearly understood the

instruction.

MM Misplaced modifier I appointed a maid for my wife, For my wife I appointed a

who gave us trouble​. maid, ​who gave us trouble​.

Frag Fragment (The When he was in the cafeteria. When he was in the
 sentence is not cafeteria, h​ is friends were

complete. This looking for him in the

group of words is a library.

fragment.)

Pre Preposition The teacher was involved ​on​ the The teacher was involved

test preparation. in​the test preparation.

Num Number The chairman needs more ​times The chairman needs more

and ​equipments​ to complete the time ​and​ equipment ​to

project. complete the project.

P Punctuation Although he was not feeling Although he was not

well he came to the party. feeling well, he came to the

party.

Sp Spelling Acheiving​something special is Achieving ​something

importent. special is ​important.

T Tense We ​will come​ yesterday. We ​came​ yesterday.

V Problems with verb He is ​enroll​ in French, and he is He is ​enrolled​ in French,

use: active, passive, try t​ o​ added ​another course. He and he is ​trying​ to ​add

infinitive, gerund will ​has​ to spend more time for another course. He will

etc. learn. have ​to spend more time

for ​learning.
Wf Word form We will become ​independence We will become

thinkers and writers. independent ​thinkers and

writers.

Ww Wrong word He was ​very​ tired that he left. He was ​so​ tired that he left.

WO Word order A computer can ​anything​ do. A computer can do

anything​.

^ Insert the missing My locality ​^​ situated at the My locality ​is​ situated at

element(s)

heart of the city. the heart of the city.

// Parallelism (making Winning and ​lose​ is part of Winning and ​losing​ is part

the elements e.g. playing a game. of playing a game.

verbs, nouns,

infinitives, gerunds

etc. similar)

Link These sentences are

not well connected.

These ideas do not

seem to be related.

Tr A transition is In India, one may find many In India, one may find

needed here. poor people. One will be many poor people.

Transitions include: surprised to know that several However, one will be

nevertheless, in Indians are among the richest surprised to know that

addition, in fact, people in the world. several Indians are among

 then, furthermore, as the richest people in the

a result, world.

consequently and

many others.

Comb These sentences

should be combined.

Unn Unnecessary The man ​he​ was very talented. The man was very talented.

element

rep Same ideas repeated

Paraphrasing

Paraphrase is…

-your own interpretation of essential information and ideas expressed by someone else presented in a new
form.

-one legitimate way (when accompanied by accurate documentation) to borrow from source.

-a more detailed restatement than a summary, which focuses concisely in a single main idea.

Paraphrasing is a valuable skill because…

-it is better than quoting information from an undistinguished passage.

-it helps you control the temptation to quote too much.

-the mental process required for successful paraphrasing helps you to grasp the full meaning of the original.

Therefore, this skill is important in several areas of academic work. Effective paraphrasing is vital in
academic writing to avoid the risk of plagiarism.

Steps to Effective Paraphrasing

Reread the original passage until you understand its full meaning.

Set the original aside, and write your paraphrase on a note card.

Jot down a few words below your paraphrase to remind you later how you envision using this material. At
the top of the note card, write a key word or phrase to indicate the subject of your paraphrase.
Check your interpretation with the original to make sure your version accurately expresses all the accurate
information in a new form.

Use quotation marks to identify any unique term or phrase you have borrowed exactly from the source.

Record the source (including the page) on your note card so that you can credit it easily if you decide to
incorporate the material into your paper.

(http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/619/1)

General Rules for Paraphrasing

Make sure you understand the meaning and intent of the original.

Use your own words and sentence structures.

Use roughly the same number of words as the original.

Identify the source (i.e., author and page number in MLA style) within the text.

Borrow exceptional words or phrasing from the original by quoting exactly.

Enclose quoted words and phrases in quotation marks.

Retain the original tone humorous, somber, angry.

Do Not:

Add your own views.

Change or distort the meaning or intent of the original.
Leave out significant information.
Quote large sections that could be rephrased.
Guess at the meaning of the original.
Present paraphrased material as your own.

(Source: http://www.slideshare.net/erinsilveira/summary-writing?from_search=9)

Tips for Paraphrasing

1. Although paraphrasing techniques are used in summary writing, paraphrasing does not aim to
shorten the length of a text, merely to restate it.

For example:
Evidence of a lost civilization has been found off the coast of China
Could be paraphrased:
Remains of an ancient society has been discovered in the sea near China

2. A good paraphrase is significantly different from the wording of the original, without altering the
meaning at all.

Read the text below and then decide which is the better paraphrase, (a) or (b).
 Ancient Egypt collapsed in about 2180 ac. Studies conducted of the mud from the River Nile showed
that at this time the mountainous regions which feed the Nile suffered from a prolonged drought.
This would have had a devastating effect on the ability of Egyptian society to feed itself.
a) The sudden ending of Egyptian civilization over 4000 years ago was probably caused by the
changes in the weather in the region to the south. Without the regular river flooding there would not
have been enough food.

b) Research into deposits of the Egyptian Nile indicate that a along dry period in the mountains at the
river’s source may have led to a lack of water for irrigation around 2180 ac, which was when the
collapse of Egyptian society began.
3. Techniques
Changing vocabulary:
studies> research society > civilization
mud>deposits
NB Not all words and phrases can be paraphrased. For example, ​economics, socialism or global
warming h​ ave no effective synonyms.
Changing word class:
Egypt (n.) > Egyptian (adj.) mountainous regions (adj. + n.) > in the mountain (n.)
Changing word order:
Ancient Egypt collapsed > the collapse of Egyptian society began

Activities

1. Find synonyms for the words in italics.

The ​growth​ of the ​car​ industry ​parallels​ the development of ​modern​ capitalism.

Example:
The ​rise​ of the ​automobile i​ ndustry ​matches​ the progress of ​contemporary​ capitalism.
It ​began​ in France and Germany, but it ​took off​ in the United States.
There Henry Ford ​adapted ​the moving production line from the Chicago meat industry to ​motor
manufacturing, ​thus​ inventing mass production.
2. Change the word class of the words in italics and then rewrite the sentences.
In the 1920s Alfred Sloan’s ​management theories helped General Motors to become the world’s
dominant​ car company.
Example:
In the 1920s, with the help from the ​managerial theories of Alfred Sloan, General Motors ​dominated
the world’s car companies.
After the Second World War the industry developed ‘planned obsolescence’, whereby frequent
model changes encouraged customers to buy new cars more often than they needed to.
Later, from the 1970’s, environmentalists began to criticize the industry for producing inefficient
models which used too much fuel, contributing to global warming.
3. Change the word order of the following sentences (other changes may be needed).
At this time, trade unions became increasingly militant in defense of their member’s jobs.
Example:
At this time increasingly militant unions defended their members’ jobs.
 Today the industry owns some of the strongest brands in the world.
However, many major car companies struggle with stagnant markets and falling profits.

4. Combine all these techniques to paraphrase the following texts.

i)

FOUR WHEELS GOOD

The growth of the car industry parallels the development of modern capitalism. It began in France and
Germany, but took off in the United States. There Henry Ford adapted the moving production line from the
Chicago meat industry to motor manufacturing, thus inventing mass production. In the 1920s Alfred Sloan’s
management theories helped General Motors to become the world’s dominant car company. After the
Second World War the industry developed ‘planned obsolescence’, whereby frequent model changes
encouraged customers to buy new cars more often than they needed to. Later, from the 1970’s,
environmentalists began to criticize the industry for producing inefficient models which used too much fuel,
contributing to global warming. At this time, trade unions became increasingly militant in defense of their
member’s jobs. Today the industry owns some of the strongest brands in the world. However, many major
car companies struggle with stagnant markets and falling profits.

i​i) Before the last century no humans had visited Antarctica, and even today the vast continent has a winter
population of fewer than 200 people. However, a recent report from a New Zealand government agency
outlines the scale of the population problem in the ice and snow. Although untouched compared with other
regions in the world, the bitter cold of Antarctica means that the normal process of decay is prevented. As a
result some research stations are surrounded by the rubbish of nearly 60 years’ operations.

Despite popular belief, the polar continent is really a desert, with less precipitation than the Sahara in the
past, snowfall slowly covered the waste left behind, like beer cans of dead ponies, but now, possibly due to
global warming, the ice is thinning and these are being exposed. Over 10 years ago the countries using
Antarctica agreed a treaty on waste disposal, under which everything is to be taken home, and this is slowly
improving the situation. However, the scientists do not want everything removed. The remains of very early
expeditions at the beginning of the twentieth century have acquired historical value and will be preserved.

iii) It has never been denied that Dante the political philosopher as well as Dante the poet assimilated to the
full political doctrines by which his century was moved. In fact, Dante held a key-position in the political
and intellectual discussions around 1300, and if in a superficial manner he has often been labeled
reactionary, it is simply the prevalence of the imperial idea in Dante’s works—different though it was from
that of the preceding centuries—which obscured the overwhelmingly unconventional features of his
moral-political outlook. From Ernst H. Kantorowicz, ​The King’s Two Bodies​. Princeton: Princeton
University Press, 1981.

Source: ​http://www.cz-training.com/toefl/paraphrase05.html

iv) Opinion is divided over what impact, if any, advertising has on children. What is beyond question is that
many people, parents in particular are worried about its effects. 88% of Swedes supported their
government’s ban on children’s TV adverts in 1991 (Willows, 2009) while 36% of adults in the UK thought
that advertising was damaging to their children (Sidle, 2011).

Source: ​http://intranet.yorksj.ac.uk/learnteach/epax/paraphrasing/Para3tryme.pdf
 How to Write a Summary

Summary Writing

One strategy for improving reading comprehension is to write summaries. Summaries function to reduce the
amount of information to be remembered and to organize the information in a way that aids understanding
and remembering.

Pre-writing Task 1

Collapse lists.
If you see a list of things, try to think of a word or a phrase as a name for the whole list.
For example, if you saw a list like eyes, ears, neck, arms and legs, you could substitute ‘body parts.’
Or if you saw a list like ice staking, skiing and sledding, you could use ‘winter sports.’
In short, substitute a superordinate for a list of items or actions.
Use topic sentences
Often authors write a sentence that summarizes a whole paragraph. It is called a topic sentence or a
main idea.
If the author gives you one, you can use it in your summary.
Some paragraphs do not have explicit topic sentences or main ides. You may have to invent one for
your summary.
Get rid of unnecessary detail.
Some text information can be repeated in a passage. The same thing can be said in a number of
different ways, all in the same passage.
Other text information can be unimportant or trivial.
Since summaries are meant to be short, you should delete trivia and redundancies.
Collapse paragraphs.
Paragraphs are often related to one another.
Some paragraphs explain one or more other paragraphs. Other paragraphs just expand on information
presented in previous paragraphs. Some are more necessary or important than others.
Decide which paragraphs should be kept, which can be deleted and which can be joined with others.

(Source: http://www.slideshare.net/erinsilveira/summary-writing?from_search=9)

Pre-writing Task 2

To write a good summary it is important to ​thoroughly understand the material you are working with. Here
are some preliminary steps in writing a summary.

Skim the text, noting your mind the ​subheadings. If there are no subheadings, try to ​divide the text
into sections. Consider ​why you have been assigned the text. Try to determine ​what type of text you
are dealing with. This can help you ​identify important information.
Read the text,​ highlighting important information and ​taking notes.
I​n your own words,​ write down the ​main points​ of each section.
Write down the ​key support points​ for the main topic, but do not include minor detail.
Go through the process ​again,​ making changes as appropriate.

(Source: With thanks to Swales, John M. and Christine B. Feat. Academy Writing for Graduate Students,
Essential Tasks and Skills. Ann Arbor: U Michigan P. 1994 105-130)
For example:

Global Implications of Patent Law Variation

A parent is an exclusive right to use an countries employing different patent law

invention for a certain period of time, which is principles is inconsistency of patent ownership.
given to an inventor as compensation for
The first sentence is a general definition. It may
disclosure of an invention. Although it would be
be safe to assume that your audience is already
beneficial for the world economy to have uniform
patent laws for each country has its own laws familiar with patents; thus you do not have to
include it in your summary.
designed to protect domestic inventions and
safeguard technology. Despite widespread This is the main idea.
variation patent laws generally fall under one of
two principles: the first-to-file principle awards The classification of the two principles is
and first-to-invent. The first to file principle important.
awards a patent to the person or institution that
Ignore specific details about the different
applies for a patent first, while the first-to-invent
principles. The terms are self-explanatory.
principle grants the patent to the person that was
first to invent and can prove it. Most countries It is important to point out that most of the world
have adopted the first-to-file system. However the follows one system and the United States another.
United States maintains a first-to-invent system,
despite obvious shortcomings. A result of

Source: Courtesy the Odegaard writing & Research Centerhttp://depts.washongton.edu/owrc

Include a description of the problem surrounding case, if the invention is useful enough, a company
variation in patent laws. may proceed and pass on the added cost to
consumers.
Patent ownership is not recognized
globally. On the contrary, ownership may change International economic tension hs also
depending on the country. It is not uncommon for been increased as a result of differing
an invention to have two patent owners – one in policies.​Many foreign individuals and companies
the United States and one in the rest of the world. believe that they are at a serious disadvantage in
This unclear ownership often has economic the United States in the regard to patent ownership
consequences.​If a company is interested in using a because of the logistical difficulties in establishing
patented invention, it may be unable to receive first-to-invent status. Further, ​failure of the United
permission from both patent owners, which in turn States to recognize patent ownership in other
may prevent manufacture of a particular product. countries is in violation of Paris Conventions on
Even if permission is received from both owners, Industrial Properties, which requires all member
pay royalties to both may be quite costly. In this nations to treat all patents equally.​The conflict
surrounding patents has prompted, ​the World
Intellectual Properties Organization (WIPO) to
lobby for universality in patent laws. WIPO
maintains that the first necessary step involves
compelling the United States to reexamine its
patent principle,​taking into account the reality of a
global economy. This push may indeed result in
more global economic cooperation.

Provide some support/explanation for the

problem, but not all the details.

Describe this other problem associated with

differing patent principles.

Provide some explanation, but not all details.

Describe the action taken to solve the problem.

 12

(Source: ​Courtesy the Odegaard writing & Research Centerhttp://depts.washongton.edu/owrc)

Vocabulary needed for summarizing:

Reporting verbs

argue demonstrate emphasize maintain propose show

assert describe examine note provide state
claim develop explain observe recommend study
Contend discuss find point out report suggest

Transitional words

Additionally Also Further In addition

In fact Moreover More importantly Furthermore

(Source: ​http://www.slideshare.net/erinsilveira/summary-writing?from_search=9​)

While writing task

When writing the summary there are three main requirements:

The summary should cover the original ​as a whole.

The material should be presented in a ​neutral​ fashion.
The summary should be a ​condensed ​version of the material, presented ​in your own words​.

**Also ​do ​not include anything that does not appear in the original. (Do ​not include your own comments or
evaluation.) and

Be sure to ​identify your source​.

For example:

In his paper, “Global Implications of Patent Law Variation,” Koji Suzuki (1991) states that lack of
consistency in the world’s patent laws is a serious problem. In the most of the world, patent ownership is
given to the inventor that is first to file for a patent. However, the United States maintains a first-to-invent
policy. In view of this, patent ownership can change depending on the country. Multiple patent ownership
can result in economic problems; however, most striking is the international tension it causes. The fact that
the United States does not recognize patent ownership in other countries, in violation of Paris Conventions
on Industrial Properties, has prompted the World Intellectual Properties Organization (WIPO) to push the
United States to review its existing patent law principles.

Activities
 13

1) Choose three of the topics below and write summaries in no more than twelve words each.

Example:

Birmingham- Birmingham is a large industrial city in the English west midlands.

a) Your home town

b )Bill Gates
c) Your academic subject
d) The last book you read
e) The film that you saw recently

Look at the summaries you have written above. What are the features of a successful summary?

2) Summary writing is an important skill in academic work. Different kinds of summaries are needed
in different kinds of situations.

List as many study uses for summary writing as you can think of.
Making notes from lectures
………………………………………………
………………………………………………
3) In essay writing students often have to summarize part of a book or a journal article.
The summary may be just one or two sentences, to explain the main idea of the article, and perhaps compare
it with the another summarized text, or it might be necessary to include much more detail. In other words, a
summary can range from 1-2% of the original to more than 50% summarizing in a flexible tool.

At first students need to follow a series of steps to summarize successfully. With practice the number of
steps may be reduced, as the process becomes more automatic.

Complete the list of stages in a successful summary by using phrases from the box.

a) ​Read the text carefully and check key vocabulary.

b) Underline or highlight the ……………………………………………
c) Make notes of these, taking care to ………………………………..
d) Write the summary using the notes, re-organizing the ….............
…………………………………………………………………………
e) Check the summary to make sure no ………………………………
……… have been omitted or distorted.

4. Read the following text and compare the summaries. Decide which is the best, giving reasons.
Researchers in France and the United States have recently reported that baboons are able to think abruptly. It
has been known for some time that chimpanzees are capable of abrupt thought, but baboons are the most
distant relation to mankind. In the experiment, scientists trained two baboons to use a personal computer and
a joystick. The animals had to match computer designs which were basically the same, but had the
 14

superficial differences. In the experiment the baboons performed better than would be expected by chance.
The researchers describe their study in an article in the ​Journal of Experimental Psychology.

French and American scientists have shown for the first time that the baboons have the ability to
think in an abstract way. The animals were taught to use the computer, and then had to select patterns
that were similar, which they did at a rate better than chance.
Baboons are a kind of monkey more distant from man than chimpanzees. Although it is known that
chimpanzees are able to think abstractly, until recently it was not clear if baboons could do the same.
But new research by various scientists has shown that this is so.
According to a recent article in the ​Journal of Experimental Psychology,​ baboons are able to think in
an abstract way. The article describes how researchers trained to baboons to use personal computer
and a joystick. The animals did better than would be expected.

5. Read the following text and underline the key points.

Indian researchers are trying to find out if there is any truth in old sayings which claim to predict the
weather. In Gujarat farmers had the choice of planting either peanuts, which are more profitable in wet
years, or castor, which does better in drier conditions. The difference depends on the timing of the monsoon
rains, which can arrive in any time between the beginning and the middle of June. Farmers, however, have
to decide what seeds to sow in April and May.

There is a local saying, at least a thousand years old, which claims that the monsoon starts 45 days after the
flowering of a common tree​, Casie fistula.​ DrKanani, an agronomist from Gujarat Agricultural University,
has been studying the relationship since 1996, and has found that the tree does successfully predict the
approximate date of the monsoon’s arrival.

6. Complete the following notes of the key points.

Indian scientists checking ancient …………………………………..
…………………………………..
Old saying links monsoon to ………………………………………..
……………………………………..
Used by farmers to select peanuts (for wet) or…………………….
……………………………….
Dr Kanani of Gujarat Agricultural University has found that ……
……………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………

7. Link the notes together to make a complete summary using conjunctions where necessary. Check
the final text for factual accuracy.
 15

8. The original text was about 150 words. The summary above uses about 50, so the original has been
has been reduced by about 65%. However, it might be necessary to summarize still further. Using the
same techniques, summarize the summary in about twenty words.

9. Summarize the following article in about 75 words.

South Korea is planning to move its capital from Seoul to new site in the middle of the country. Although
Seoul has been the capital since the fourteenth century, the city of over 20 million is now very crowded, and
also close to the hostile armies of North Korea. The new capital is planned to cost $45 billion, with
construction finishing by 2012.

There is, however, strong opposition to the project, since similar schemes in other countries have taken far
longer and cost much more than originally planned. Australia, for example, took over 70 years to finish
building Canberra, while Nigeria has never completed its planned new capital, Abuja. Both Brazil and
Malaysia have found that the building of new capitals (Brasilia and Putrajaya) can sharply increase the
national burden of debt. Even if the government does eventually move to the new capital, it is unlikely that
South Korea’s main businesses will follow it, so Seoul will probably continue to be the country’s principle
city. (165 words)

10. Summarize the following paragraphs in the number of words in brackets.

1. Research on children’s advertising would not seem to support a ban. Psychology professor, Adrian
Furnham, argues against any restrictions, noting “Peer influences and parenting styles are massively more
influential in determining children’s behaviour and achievements than advertising” (Stokes and Brown,
2011). Furthermore, a German study points out that, on average, children between three and thirteen years
old spend only 1.4% of their waking time watching adverts. That said, in the UK, this translates into 18 000
adverts a year (Grissom, 2010). However until there has been definitive research linking behaviour to
advertising, it would seem premature to argue for a ban, but perhaps some regulation is needed, especially
given parents’ concerns. (60 words)

2. One restriction would arguably be on food advertising. 95% of these during children’s television
programmes were for products high in fat, salt or sugar (Grissom, 2010) and many, including the World
Health Organisation, believe that there is a link between such foods and increasing levels of obesity and high
blood pressure. Yet for every $1 spent by the WHO to combat these effects of a poor diet, the global food
industry spends $500, part of an annual industry worth $25 billion (WHO, 2009). It is obviously not a fair
fight and as children’s health is at stake, there is a strong case for a limitation on food advertising to the
young. (30 words)

3. This could well help children. However, the downside of any such regulation could be damage to
business, such as to the above mentioned food industry who would obviously see profits fall. Another less
 16

direct casualty would be children’s television. At present, this industry is heavily reliant on advertising
revenues. Martin Bowley of the media organisation Carlton Sales, remarked “Without TV advertising in the
UK, the ability of commercial TV stations to deliver high quality programmes to young people would be
severely affected” (BBC, 2007). Of ITV’s £39 million children’s commissioning budget, £11 million came
from advertising(BBC, 2007). The removal of this support could lead to jobs losses, and a flood of cheap
American exports. There is also the wider implication of any ban, with many within the EU saying it would
contravene the whole idea of free trade in goods and services that the EU is based on, and would in fact be
illegal. (20 words)

Answers:

1. There is little research to support a ban on children’s advertising as it does not seem to be that influential.
One expert, Professor Furnham, argues parenting style and peer pressure are more important (Stokes and
Brown, 2011), while a German study (Grissom, 2010) points out that children actually spend very little of
their time, only 1.4%, watching adverts. (58 words)
2. Given growing health problems in children, there is an argument for banning adverts for unhealthy food,
especially as the food industry far outspends those trying to promote a more balanced diet. (31 words)
3. Any advertising ban could harm the food and children’s TV industries, plus could be impossible to
enforce and potentially illegal. (20 words)

(Source: http://intranet.yorksj.ac.uk/learnteach/epax/paraphrasing/Para3tryme.pdf)

Reviewing the five basic steps of summary writing:

1. Make sure you understand the text.

Ask yourself, ‘What was this text about?’ and ‘What did the author say?’
Try to say the general theme to yourself before you begin to summarize the text.
2. Look back.
Reread the text to make sure you got the general theme right.
Also reread to make certain that you really understand what the important parts of the text are.
Star or mark the important parts of the text.
Now use the four specific rules for writing a summary.
3. Rethink.
Reread a paragraph of the text.
Try to say the theme of the paragraph to yourself.
Is the theme a topic sentence? (Main idea?) Have you marked it?
Or is the topic sentence missing? If it is missing, have you written one, in the margin, for example?
4. Check and double check.
Do you leave in any lists? Make sure you don’t list things out in your summary.
Did you repeat yourself? Make sure you didn’t.
Did you skip anything?
Is all the important information in the summary?
5. Polish the summary.
When a lot of information is reduced from an original passage, the resulting concentrated information often
sounds very unnatural. Fix this problem and create a more natural- sounding summary.
Adjustments may include but are not limited to: paraphrasing, insertion of connecting words like
‘and’ or ‘because,’ and the insertion of introductory or closing statements.
 17

Paraphrasing is especially useful here, for two reasons: It improves your ability to remember the
material and it avoids using the author’s words, otherwise known as plagiarism.

(Source:http://www.slideshare.net/erinsilveira/summarywriting?from_search=9)

Descriptive Essay

Structuring a Descriptive Essay

A descriptive essay simply describes something or someone by appealing to the reader’s senses: sight,
sound, touch, smell and taste. Here are the basic steps to write an effective descriptive essay:

1. Select a subject

Observation is the key to writing a good description. For example, if you are writing about a place, go there
and take notes on the sights, sounds, and smells. A descriptive essay paints a picture for the reader, using
descriptive devices and the senses. Create a thesis statement that informs the reader who or what you are
describing. Examples: “The white, sandy beach of Cox’s Bazar is a sight to behold.” “My favourite teacher
helped me overcome my fear of learning English.”

2. Select dominant details

Select only the details that support the dominant impression (your thesis statement).

3. Organize details

The paragraphs in a descriptive essay can be structured spatially (from top to bottom or from near to far) or
chronologically (time order) or from general to specific. Descriptive essays can also use other patterns of
organization such as narrative or exemplification.

4. Use descriptive words

Do not use vague words or generalities (such as good, nice, bad, or beautiful). Be specific and use sensory,
descriptive words (adjectives). For example:

I had a great snack. ORI devoured a plate of hot, spicy and crunchy fuchka for a snack.

Provide sensory details:

Smells ​that are in the air (the aroma of freshly brewed coffee)
Sounds​ (traffic, honking horns)
Sights (“The sun scattered tiny diamonds across dew-covered grass as it peeked out from beyond the
horizon.”)
Touch​ (“The texture of the adobe hut’s walls resembled coarse sandpaper.”)
Taste: sweet, sour, salty, bitter, tart (“Giant goose bumps formed on my tongue when I accidently bit
into a slice of lemon.”)

5. Draw a logical conclusion

 18

The conclusion may also use descriptive words; however, make certain the conclusion is logical and
relevant.

Essay 1: The following essay is a description of a Ferris wheel ride.

I have always been fascinated by carnival rides. It amazes me that average, ordinary people eagerly trade in
the serenity of the ground for the chance to be tossed through the air like vegetables in a food processor. It
amazes me that at some time in history someone thought that people would enjoy this, and that person
invented what must have been the first of these ​terrifying machines. For me, it is precisely the thrill and
excitement of having survived the ride that keeps me coming back for more.

My first experience with a carnival ride was a Ferris wheel at a local fair. Looking at that ​looming
monstrosity spinning the life out of its sardine-caged occupants, I was dumbstruck. It was huge, smoky,
noisy and not a little ​intimidating​. Ever since that in initial impression became fossilized in my imagination
many years ago, these rides have reminded me of ​mythical beasts, amazing dinosaurs carrying off their
screaming passengers like ​sacrificial ​virgins. Even the droning sound of their engines brings to mind the
great of a​ fire-breathing​ dragon with smoke spewing from its exhaust-pipe nostrils.

The first ride on one of these fantastic beasts gave me an instant ​rush of adrenaline​. As the ​death-defying
ride started, a lump in my throat pulsed like a dislodged heart ready to walk the plank, as the ride gained
speed, the resistance to gravity built up against my body until I was unable to move. An almost
imperceptible pause as the wheel reached the top of its climb allowed my body to relax in a brief state of
normalcy. Then there was an assault of stomach-turning weightlessness as the machine continued its rotation
and I descended back toward the earth. A cymbal-like crash ​vibrated through the air as the wheel reached
bottom, and much to my surprise I began to rise again.

Each new rotation gave me more confidence in the ​churning machine. Every ascent left me elated that I had
survived the previous death-defying fall. When another ​nerve-wracking climb failed to follow the last
exhilarating descent and the ride was over, I knew I was hooked. Physically and emotionally drained, I
followed my fellow passengers down the ​clanging ​metal steps to reach the safety of my former footing. I
had been spared, but only to have the opportunity to ride again.

My fascination with these fantastic flights is deeply engrained in my soul. A trip on the wonderful Ferris
wheel never fails to thrill me. Although I am becoming older and have less time, or less inclination, to play,
the child-like thrill I have on a Ferris wheel continues with each and every ride.

This essay is reproduced with the permission of its author, Elisabeth McCarthy. No part of this easy may be
reproduced​.

Read more: Homework Center: Writing Skills: Sample Descriptive Essay |Infoplease.com
http://www.infoplease.com/homework/writingskills5a.html#ixzz2qjyWW1GG

Essay 2: The following essay is description of a Summer Retreat.

Summer Escape
 19

My family has always looked forward to leaving Florida during the torrid summer months. It is a
tremendous relief to get out of the heated ​hustle and bustle​ of summer living in Florida.

Each summer, we follow the yellow brick road to our hometown in upstate New York. As we drive through
state after state, it becomes apparent that the world around us is changing. In South Carolina, we already
began to notice changes. The trees appear to be touchable, offering soft, ​plush leaves which sway in the
breeze, and the grass actually invites us to share its place rather than scaring us away with mounds of
intruding fire ants. As each state brings new surroundings, our anticipation builds, and home seems closer
all the time.

Leaving the flatlands and entering an area where we are suddenly surrounded by hills of purple and blue are
by far the most awakening moments. Virginia and Pennsylvania offer brilliant scenery with ​majestic hills
and ​checkerboard farmlands. As we descend through the curves and winds of the northern region of the
United States, home is now very close: we are almost there.

Suddenly, we have driven from wide-open flatlands to a narrow, winding road surrounded by hillsides of
stone and trees. Around every curve, orange and black tiger lilies claim their place in the world as they push
themselves out toward the car​, waving hello and ​flashing ​their mysterious black spots toward us as we drive
by. The journey home is almost complete.

As we begin our final descent through the state of Pennsylvania into upstate New York, the surroundings
become comfortably familiar. Before long, we are welcomed by a sign that reads “Waverly, 18 miles” and
the familiar fields of grazing cattle. Through the last stretch of Pennsylvania, the ​bursting ​foliage seems to
envelop us and carry us over the hills like a carriage created by nature. It is at this point that our family, even
the youngest member knows that our vacation in New York is about to begin. Our eldest son has joked for
years that he can “smell” Grandma’s apple pie already.

Approximately fifteen minutes pass and as our vehicle takes us over the final crest, we see the smoke stack
from the local factory as we cross the border of Pennsylvania and New York and are aware of our
surroundings. A couple of turns later, we are there. We have reached our destination; we are home.

Arin B. Terwilliger

http://www.irsc.edu/uploadedFiles/Students/AcademicSupportCenter/WritingLab/E7-Descriptive-Essay-Gui
delines.pdf

Vocabulary Practice​: Description of things, people, and places requires use of ​action words,
adjectives,​and ​phrasal verbs​. A lot of these are incorporated in the above two essays.

Exercise 1​: Identify ​action words, adjectives​, and ​phrasal verbs from the above essays and make
sentences with them.

Grammar Practice: Transitions used in descriptive writing change with the change in the description of a
person, place, or thing. Following is the list of transition words that can be used in describing or showing
spatial order/direction: ​above, below, behind, beside, beyond, next to, nearby, on top of, under, to the
right/left.

To show order of importance following words are used: ​primarily, most significantly, initially, strikingly,
the most, the major, the main, amazingly, equally, increasingly important, even more striking.
 20

The following words are used to show time order: ​afterwards, at present, meanwhile, next, formerly,
concurrently, suddenly, finally, then.

Exercise 2​: Create an original sentence with each of the following transition words:

To the right/left; primarily; even more striking; at present; meanwhile​.

Writing Tasks:

1. Your friend took you out for dinner at a ​local restaurant a few days ago. The restaurant has become very
popular in recent times. You two had a great time there as the ​decor, staff​, and most importantly ​food ​were
amazing. Write an essay describing the restaurant.

2. On your birthday, your elder brother gave you an iphone as a gift. This gift is a cool one- it has got
attractive features (shape, size, functions). You are going to treasure it. Write an essay describing the
iphone.

Description

When you describe someone or something, you give your readers a picture in words. To make the word
picture as vivid and real as possible, you must observe and record specific details that appeal to your
readers’ senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch). More than any other type of essay, a descriptive
paper needs sharp, colorful details.

Here is a sentence in which there is almost no appeal to the senses: “In the window was a fan.” In contrast,
here is a description rich in sense impressions: “The blades of the rusty window fan clattered and whirled as
they blew out a stream of warm, soggy air.” Sense impressions in this second example include sight (rusty
window fan, whirled), hearing (clattered), and touch (warm, soggy air). The vividness and sharpness
provided by the sensory details give us a clear picture of the fan and enable us to share the writer’s
experience.

In this chapter, you will be asked to describe a person, place, or thing sharply, by using words rich in
sensory details. To prepare for this assignment, first read the student essays and the professional essay that
follow and work through the questions that accompany the essays.

Student Essays to Consider

Read the sample descriptive essay with the sample outline below:

The Diner at Midnight

Introduction
 21

Thesis statement​: A diner at midnight, however, was not the place I had expected. It was different -
and lonely.

Body paragraph 1

Topic sentence​: My Toyota pulled to a halt in front of the dreary gray aluminum building that looked
like an old railroad car.
Supporting details:
a) the diner’s building looked old
b) had a half lit neon sign
c) a deserted, rain-drenched parking lot
d) an empty paper cup making sound
e) a heavy glass door

Body paragraph 2
​Topic sentence​: The diner was quiet when I entered.

Supporting details:

a) no waiter on duty to receive the customers

b) humming sound of the refrigerator
c) tables with usual accessories
d) the mysterious kitchen metal doors
e) the counter with the cracked vinyl seats bolted in soldier-like straight lines

Body paragraph 3
Topic sentence​: The people in the diner seemed as lonely as the place itself.

Supporting details:

a) two workers sitting on the stools at the counter, eating after the shift
b) a young man with black, curly hair with a blank face
c) a middle aged, pensive couple waiting for their food to arrive

Conclusion
Concluding line:​ Finally, a tired-looking waitress approached me with her thick order pad. I ordered
the coffee, but I wanted to drink it fast and get out of there.

The Diner at Midnight

I've been in lots of diners, and they've always seemed to be warm, busy, friendly, happy places.
That's why, on a recent Monday night, I stopped in a diner for a cup of coffee. I was returning home after an
all-day car trip and needed something to help me make the last forty-five miles. A diner at
midnight, however, was not the place I had expected. It was different - and lonely.

My Toyota pulled to a halt in front of the dreary gray aluminum building that looked
like an old railroad car.​ A half-lit neon sign sputtered the message, "Fresh baked goods
daily," on the surface of the rain slick parking lot. Only a half-dozen cars and a battered
 22

pickup were scattered around the lot. An empty paper coffee cup made a hollow scraping sound as it rolled
in small circles on one cement step close to the diner entrance. I pulled hard at the balky glass door, and it
banged shut behind me.

The diner was quiet when I entered.​ As there was no hostess on duty, only the faint odor of stale
grease and the dull hum of an empty refrigerated pastry case greeted me. I looked around for a place to sit.
The outside walls were lined with empty booths which squatted back to back in their orange vinyl
upholstery. On each speckled beige-and-gold table were the usual accessories. The kitchen hid mysteriously
behind two swinging metal doors with round windows. I glanced through these windows but could see only
a part of the large, apparently deserted cooking area. Facing the kitchen doors was the counter. I approached
the length of Formica and slid onto one of the cracked vinyl seats bolted in soldier-like straight lines in front
of it.

The people in the diner seemed as lonely as the place itself​. Two men in rumpled work shirts sat at
the counter, on stools several feet apart, staring wearily into cups of coffee and smoking cigarettes. Their
faces sprouted what looked like daylong stubbles of beard. I figured they were probably shift workers who,
for some reason, didn't want to go home. Three stools down from the workers, I spotted a thin young man
with a mop of black, curly hair. He was dressed in brown Levi cords with a checked Western-style shirt
unbuttoned at the neck. He wore a blank expression as he picked at a plate of limp french fries. I wondered
if he had just returned from a disappointing date. At the one occupied booth was a middle-aged couple. They
hadn't gotten any food yet. He was staring off into space, idly tapping his spoon against the table, while she
drew aimless parallel lines on her paper napkin with a bent dinner fork. Neither said a word to the
other.

Finally, a tired-looking waitress approached me with her thick order pad. ​I ordered the coffee, but I
wanted to drink it fast and get out of there. My car, and the solitary miles ahead of me, would be
lonely. But they wouldn't be as lonely as that diner at midnight.

Family Portrait

Outline

Thesis Statement: ​The picture of my mother as a twenty-year-old girl and the story behind it has
fascinated me from the moment I began to consider it.

Topic sentence of body paragraph 1: The young woman in the picture has a face that resembles my own
in many ways.

Supporting details: I) oval face

II) identical nose

III) smile

Topic sentence of body paragraph 2: I have also carefully studied the clothing and jewelry in the
photograph.

Supporting details: I) blouse and skirt

II) design and material of clothes

III) bracelet
 23

Topic sentence of body paragraph 3: The story behind the picture is as interesting to me as the young
woman it captures.

Supporting details: I) mom as file clerk

II) borrowed bracelet

III) ring

Conclusion:​ It is a moment of beauty, of love, and ─ in a way ─ of my own past.

Family Portrait

My mother, who is seventy years old, recently sent me a photograph of herself that I had never seen
before. While cleaning out the attic of her Florida home, she came across a studio portrait she had taken out
about a year before she married my father. This picture of my mother as a twenty-year-old girl and the story
behind it has fascinated me from the moment I began to consider it.

The young woman in the picture has a face that resembles my own in many ways. Her face is bit more
oval than mine, but the softly waving brown hair around it is identical. The small, straight nose is the same
model I was born with. My mother’s mouth is closed, yet there is just the slightest hint of a smile on her full
lips. I know that if she had smiled, she would have shown the same wide grin and down curving “smile
lines” that appear in my own snapshots. The most haunting feature in the photo, however, is my mother’s
eyes. They are an exact duplicate of my own large, dark-brown ones. Her brows are plucked into thin lines,
while are like two pencil strokes added to highlight those fine, luminous eyes.

I’ve also carefully studied the clothing and jewelry in the photograph. Although the photo was taken
fifty years ago, my mother is wearing a blouse and skirt that could easily be worn today. The blouse is made
of heavy eggshell-colored satin and reflects the light in its folds and hollows. It has turned-down cowl collar
and smocking on the shoulders and below the collar. The smocking (tiny rows of gathered material) looks
hand-done. The skirt, which covers my mother’s calves, is straight and made of light wool or flannel. My
mother is wearing silver drop earrings. They are about two inches long and roughly shield-shaped. On her
left wrist is a matching bracelet. My mother can’t find this bracelet now, despite the fact that we spent hours
searching through the attic for it. On the third finger of her left hand is a ring with a large, square-cut stone.

The story behind the picture is as interesting to me as the young woman it captures. Mom, who was
earning twenty-five dollars a week as a file clerk, decided to give her boyfriend (my father) a picture of
herself. She spent almost two weeks’ salary on the skirt and blouse, which she bought at a fancy department
store downtown. She borrowed the earrings and bracelet from her older sister, my aunt Dorothy. The ring
she wore was a present from another young man she was dating at the time. Mom spent another chunk of
salary to pay the portrait photographer for the hand-tinted print in old-fashioned tones of brown and tan. Just
before giving the picture to my father, she scrawled at the lower left, “sincerely, Beatrice.”

When I study this picture, I react in many ways. I think about the trouble that Mom went to in order to
impress the young man who was to be my father. I laugh when I look at the ring, which was probably worn
to make my father jealous. I smile at the serious, formal inscription my mother used at this stage of the
budding relationship. Sometimes, I am filled with a mixture of pleasure and sadness when I look at this
frozen long ago moment. It is a moment of beauty, of love, and ─ in a way ─ of my own past.
 24

NARRATIVE ESSAY

A ​narrative essay is an essay that ​tells a story about a specific event or experience. Narratives have a
point, and the narrative (story) is used to ​convey the point​. A narrative includes all the key events of the
story, presented in time order. The narrative essay is more than just a listing of events; it often ​uses
descriptive and ​sensory information ​to make the narrator’s point and to make the story real for the
reader. Consequently,​ ​narratives are often subjective rather than objective.

NARRATIVE ESSAYS ARE USUALLY WRITTEN FROM ONE OF TWO POINTS OF VIEW​:

– ​First Person (speaker):​ Uses personal pronouns such as ​I, we, me, my, mine

– ​Third Person (person spoken about):​ Uses personal pronouns such as ​she, he, it, they

KEY COMPONENTS OF A NARRATIVE ESSAY

Some significant event, experience or relationship provides the organizing focus/idea

Sensory and specific supporting details that give the reader a close-up of the events, experience or
relationship ​(e.g. scenery, season, scents, sounds, dialogue, etc.)

Events or activities in time sequence ​(i.e. Beginning, Middle, End or Aftermath).

Unified: everything in the essay refers to the central idea or focus

Written in one tense ​(usually past tense)​ and from one point of view ​(first or third person)
Transitional phrases t​ hat help the reader follow the sequence of actions

EXAMPLES OF TRANSITIONAL PHRASES

After a short time Afterwards As long as As soon as

At last At length At that time At the same time

Before Earlier Of late Immediately

In the meantime In the past Lately Later

 25

Meanwhile Now Presently Shortly

Since Soon Temporarily Then

Thereupon Until When While

A FEW QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER WHEN WRITING A NARRATIVE ESSAY

Beginning (establishes the point and the tone)

Why was this event or experience so important or memorable?

Why were you involved?

How did you feel at the beginning of the event or experience?

Middle (focuses on the events in time sequence)

What happened during the event or experience?

Was there a climax or very dramatic moment?

How did you feel during the event or experience?

End/Aftermath (reiterates/confirms the significance of the point)

What was the result or conclusion?

 26

What did you like or dislike about this event or experience?

How did you feel after the event or experience?

What did you learn from this event or experience?

NARRATIVE OUTLINE

Introduction

Lead-in: Background information that sets the tone and draws the reader in

Tie-in: A sentence that connects the lead-in with the thesis statement

Thesis: Sentence which states why this experience was so important or memorable

Body

Details about the ​beginning​ of the event or experience

Specific supporting ideas, details and examples

Sensory and descriptive details

Details about what occurred ​during​ the event or experience

Specific supporting ideas, details and examples

Sensory and descriptive details

Details about what happened in the ​final​ stage of the event or personal experience

Specific supporting ideas, details and examples

Sensory and descriptive details

 27

Conclusion

Reiterate: Rephrases the thesis

Review: Summarizes your main supporting ideas

Reflect: Indicates the significance of the experience

Wrap-up: Leaves the reader with a deep and powerful last thought

NOTE: ​Each paragraph should focus on one specific aspect of the event or personal experience
instead of​ ​skimming over a series of events.

Portions of this handout were taken from Philip Egger’s ​Process and Practice: A Guide for Developing
Writers​ and the “Study Guides and Strategies” website (http://www.studygs.net/fiveparag.htm).
 ENG 28

Read the sample narrative essay with the sample outline below:

Learning How to Swim

Introduction

Thesis statement​: One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was learn how to swim.
Body paragraph 1
Topic sentence:​ New situations always make me a bit nervous, and my first swimming lesson was no
exception.

Supporting detail 1: feeling of nervousness

Supporting detail 2: stood timidly

Supporting detain 3: finally got into water and overcame fear

Body paragraph 2
Topic sentence:​ We got into the pool, and the teacher had us put on brightly colored water wings to help
us stay afloat.

Supporting detail 1: The teacher helped every student

Supporting detail 2: watching other students trying to swim

Supporting detail 3: Some students were enthusiastic, splashing off water

Supporting detail 4: Some remained to the side of the pool for practicing how to kick

Body paragraph

Topic sentence:​ Things were not quite that easy for me, but the teacher was very patient and I could
swim.

Supporting detail 1: the teacher supported with patience

Supporting detail 2: concentrated on moving arms and legs in the water

Supporting detail 3: amazing feeling of flying like a bird

Supporting detail 4: was able to swim in the water at last

Conclusion
Concluding line: Learning to swim was not easy for me, but in the end my persistence paid off.
 ENG 29

Learning How to Swim

Learning something new can be a scary experience. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was
learn how to swim. I was always afraid of the water, but I decided that swimming was an important skill that
I should learn. I also thought it would be good exercise and help me to become physically stronger. What I
didn't realize was that learning to swim would also make me a more confident person.

New situations always make me a bit nervous, and my first swimming lesson was no exception.
After I changed into my bathing suit in the locker room, I stood timidly by the side of the pool waiting for
the teacher and other students to show up. After a couple of minutes, the teacher came over. She smiled and
introduced herself, and two more students joined us. Although they were both older than me, they didn't
seem to be embarrassed about not knowing how to swim. I began to feel more at ease.

We got into the pool, and the teacher had us put on brightly colored water wings to help us stay
afloat. One of the other students, May, had already taken the beginning class once before, so she took a
kickboard and went splashing off by herself. The other student, Jerry, and I were told to hold on to the side
of the pool and shown how to kick for the breaststroke. One by one, the teacher had us hold on to a
kickboard while she pulled it through the water and we kicked. Pretty soon Jerry was off doing this by
himself, traveling at a fast clip across the short end of the pool.

Things were not quite that easy for me, but the teacher was very patient. After a few more weeks,
when I seemed to have caught on with my legs, she taught me the arm strokes. Now I had two things to
concentrate on, my arms and my legs. I felt hopelessly uncoordinated. Sooner than I imagined, however,
things began to feel "right" and I was able to swim! It was a wonderful free feeling - like flying, maybe - to
be able to shoot across the water.

Learning to swim was not easy for me, but in the end my persistence paid off. Not only did I learn
how to swim and to conquer my fear of the water, but I also learned something about learning. Now when I
am faced with a new situation, I am not so nervous. I may feel uncomfortable to begin with, but I know that
as I practice being in that situation and as my skills get better, I will feel more and more comfortable. It is a
wonderful, free feeling when you achieve a goal you have set for yourself​.