How To Grow Your Kids Into Leaders 2

POSITIVE PARENTING
How to grow kids

into leaders
By Michael Grose
Here are seven ways you can foster potential by not molly-coddling him
rather than inhibit your child’s or or over-managing him. Neither have
young person’s leadership potential. they over-inflated his ego telling him
Recently I bumped into Stephen, a how wonderful he is, even when his
friend’s son in the local supermarket. behaviour or efforts fall short of an
acceptable level. 2. Give kids a chance to
“G’day Steve*. I hear you’re School
If you believe as I do, that leaders are
solve their own problems
Captain this year.”
made, not born then the way we raise If your child left his lunch at home
Seventeen-year-old Stephen shuffled our kids has a massive impact on their would you take it to him or her? If
a little and looked down at his feet leadership potential. your teenager forgot a sports uniform
before he said, “Yeah, I got the job.” would you take it to school if you
His voice was low as if he didn’t want Here are seven ways you were able? If so, you’d be inhibiting
the news to get out. can foster rather than inhibit their resourcefulness by solving
I continued, “Congratulations. You your child’s or young person’s their problems or, alternatively,
should be pleased with yourself. leadership potential: not allowing them to cope with
That’s quite an honour.” inconvenience. Flexibility, coping skills
1. Allow children and young and resourcefulness are trademarks
Finally, a smile spread across his face people to experience risk
as he said, “Yeah thanks for that. I’m of good leadership in both adults and
Currently our community is risk young people.
stoked actually.”
adverse when it comes to our kids.
Stephen’s reticence to accept praise It’s a parent’s job to protect our 3. Be realistic with praise
I think was due partly to his modest children and young people but that Stephen felt uncomfortable receiving
personality and partly to the fact that doesn’t mean we completely insulate my praise because it hadn’t been
he is not a classical school leader type. them from risk-taking behaviour. One overly lavished on him as a child
Academically he holds his own but European study found that if children or young man. He had to earn his
he’s not an outstanding student. He’s don’t play outside and have never parents’ praise so he hasn’t been
not sporty, musical and he doesn’t experienced skinned knees and other conditioned to expect it as a right.
excel in the performing arts or other small hurts, they frequently develop Praise and feedback should be
fields. phobias as adults. Just as young realistic and given sensitively rather
But he has leadership potential written children need to learn to fail a few than handed out like a nervous tic
all over him. He’s a wonderful young times to learn it’s normal, teenagers whenever children or young people
man with solid values. He’s very need to experience some friendship do something well. Young people
likeable, very caring and could be break-ups along the way to appreciate generally learn at some stage that
described as a ‘doer’. He gets stuff the maturity that real relationships their parents are the only people who
done. require. When we remove risk we think they’re awesome, which can
increase children’s dependence on come as a rude shock when they hit
He’s also raised by parents who have
others, which is the antithesis of the real world of the workforce.
inadvertently nurtured his leadership
strong leadership.
parentingideas.com.au now we know.

POSITIVE PARENTING
How to grow kids into leaders
4. Expect them to in conversations; sharing stories where

earn the rights character paid off for them in their
A common trait among many lives; and using every day examples of
children and young people is their how character leads to success.
strong and increasingly, false sense
6. Develop accountability
of entitlement. That is, many kids
expect they have a right to (pick any Leadership is always partnered with
of the following and feel free to add accountability. When kids don’t hold
to the list): go where they want; use themselves accountable they are
their mobile phone whenever they reliant on others to excuse them or
want; play in the living room without rescue them. Allowing children and
cleaning up. Alternatively, we can young people to experience the
insist that children and young people consequences of their actions may
earn their rights through hard work, make us feel bad as parents in the
responsible behaviour and being short term, however, in the long term
cooperative. Learning that a right it increases leadership capacities of
needs to be earned, rather than young people immeasurably.
something that’s simply handed
out to you, is a valuable lesson for 7. Share your struggles
an aspiring leader in any field of As children and young people
endeavour. spread their wings and expand their Focusing on the above strategies
boundaries they will invariably face won’t necessarily mean that your
5. Focus on character child will hold a leadership position
new situations and challenges. We
Currently as a community we may not always be there for them but in primary or secondary school.
neglect character at the expense we can share our stories including our There are many factors involved in
of personality. In this current era of struggles that we experienced at the holding a school leadership position
reality TV and social media it’s not same age in a way that will help them and being made of the right stuff is
hard to get fifteen minutes of fame make good choices. (NOTE to Parents just one of them. But the qualities
whereas in the past your spot in and traits we nurture in children and
of teenagers: Steer clear of lectures
the limelight needed to be earned young people today will manifest in
about alcohol, smoking and drugs.
usually be applying yourself to a our future community, sporting and
These are topics for another time.)
sporting, artistic or other endeavour. business leaders. That’s why great
Sharing your mistakes, your learnings
It’s quite a turnaround. However, parenting matters.
and your decision-making processes
character strengths such as grit,
can act as a type of GPS as kids *Stephen is not the real name.
conscientiousness and reliability
navigate new territory away from you.
rather than personality traits
It’s the stories they hear from adults
consistently appear in discussions
whom they admire that will give them
about leadership. Parents can actively
promote their character strengths of a roadmap for authentic leadership
Visit our website
for more ideas and
children and young people in many that is tolerant, humble and brave.
information to help
ways - including focusing on character
you raise confident

and resilient young
people.
Special note: I’m thrilled to announce that my latest

book Spoonfed Generation: How to raise independent
children is out. It’s available at parentingideas.com.au
© Parenting Ideas 2017
parentingideas.com.au now we know.

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POSITIVE PARENTING

How to grow kids

parentingideas.com.au now we know.

How to grow kids into leaders

4. Expect them to in conversations; sharing stories where

you raise confident

Special note: I’m thrilled to announce that my latest

© Parenting Ideas 2017

parentingideas.com.au now we know.

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