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Exploring Attachment Styles: How Early Relationships Shape Our Lives

Alexander Magdaleno

CDEV 107: Child Growth & Development

Dr. Chris Becerra

July 23, 2023

From the moment humans are born to the moment they die, they form bonds. These

bonds form with a parent(s) or primary caregiver(s). Attachment is the bond that forms with a

primary caregiver. Initially explored by British psychologist John Bowlby, attachment theory

provides insights into how infants form and maintain relationships with their primary caregivers,

typically their parents. Attachment in infants is very complex as it is essential for their

development; many different attachment styles and factors influence attachment.

To begin, attachment is essential for infants, and it will impact them throughout the rest

of their lives. Harry and Margaret Harlow demonstrated in 1958 that babies have social and

physical needs. To prove this, they performed an experiment with young monkeys who were

separated from their biological mothers. The monkeys were then introduced to two different

“mothers” in their cages. One “mother” provided milk, but her body was made up of cold wires,

while the other did not provide any food but was warm and soft. The monkeys overwhelmingly

preferred the warm and soft “mother” even though she provided no food. This demonstrated that

infants require physical closeness and touching, called contact comfort. These studies

demonstrated that infants--monkeys and humans--need a safe and secure base to gain confidence

and explore the world around them. Furthermore, John Bowlby would utilize this research as the

basis for Attachment theory. Bowlby defined a healthy attachment as the sense of safety gained

from parental presence when a child is exploring their surroundings. Bowlby said two things are

needed for a healthy attachment: a responsive caregiver and mutually enjoyable interactions

between a caregiver and the child. Bowlby proposed that this attachment bond was compelling

and continues through life. Attachments can affect us throughout life. A child with secure

attachments may be more comfortable with their friends, and teenagers with secure attachments

usually do not have as many emotional problems as those without (Davis & Carnelley, 2023). A
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secure attachment allows children to venture out and explore, leading to more significant brain

development. When there is a secure attachment, you learn how to trust others, how to respond

emotionally, and how others will respond to you (Bowlby, 1982). In addition, a secure

attachment leads to the development of empathy. This is because a child will seek to meet the

needs of others but only when their own needs are met. Moreover, a responsive caregiver helps

an infant to regulate their emotions. As a caregiver soothes a child, the child will eventually learn

to calm themselves in periods of stress (Why Attachment Matters, n.d.). Overall, a secure

attachment is vital to the development of infants. The effects of a secure attachment run

throughout a human’s entire life and are not isolated to their time as infants.

Moving on, infants develop many different attachment styles. There are four main

attachment styles initially coined by Mary Ainsworth. Mary Ainsworth, a student of Bowlby,

developed a test called the Strange Situation Technique which, as the name suggests, placed

children in unfamiliar situations which would heighten their need for their parents. The

procedure begins with the child and parent in the room alone alongside toys, and the child is

allowed to explore for a few minutes until a stranger enters the room. The parent is then removed

from the room, and the child is left alone with the stranger for a few minutes until the parent

returns and the stranger leaves. Throughout this entire process, the child’s behavior is recorded

and interpreted. Children were then categorized into four sections based on their behavior, and

each group represented a different kind of attachment relationship with the caregiver. Of these

four groups, one is a secure attachment style, while the other three are insecure. These four styles

were secure, ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized/disoriented. A child with a secure

attachment style explores freely while the parent is present and may even interact with the

stranger. The child is sad when the caregiver leaves and happy when they return. A child with an
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ambivalent attachment style will be wary of the situation, especially of the stranger, and cling to

the caregiver. When the caregiver leaves, the child appears distressed, but the caregiver’s return

fails to comfort them, and the child appears ambivalent. A child with an avoidant attachment

style will avoid or ignore the parent and shows little emotion when the parent leaves or returns.

The child will treat the stranger in the same avoidant style. Finally, a disorganized or disoriented

child will have inconsistent ways of coping with the stress caused by the situation. These

attachment styles will continue throughout life and manifest themselves in other relationships.

Adults with an ambivalent attachment style may find themselves seeking approval and support

from their partner, and they will often feel anxious and worried that their loved one is not as

invested in the relationship as they are. These feelings often result in an intense fear of

abandonment. In addition, an adult with an avoidant attachment style will often see themselves

as a “lone wolf:” someone who is strong, independent, and self-sufficient. These people do not

want to depend on others, and they generally avoid emotional closeness, choosing to hide or

suppress their feelings. The disorganized adult tends to be unstable and shows almost random

behaviors in social bonds. Adults with this attachment style often feel desire and fear from their

partners and enjoy intimacy but also have trouble trusting. The three insecure attachment styles

are all characterized by difficulties in making and maintaining healthy relationships. In contrast,

an adult with a secure attachment style can depend on their partners and lets their partners rely

on them. These adults tend to have a favorable view of themselves and others, and they do not

depend on the responsiveness or approval of their partners (The Attachment Project, 2020). The

different attachment styles found in humans are formed early on in life, but they impact all of a

person’s life.
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Finally, several factors influence the formation of attachment styles. A child becomes

securely attached when there is consistent contact from a caregiver that can meet the physical

and emotional needs of the child responsively. The requirements for a child to become securely

attached are complex, as even in cultures where mothers do not talk,

cuddle and play with their infants, secure attachments can develop (LeVine et al., 1994). The

insecure ambivalent style usually occurs when a parent responds inconsistently to a child’s

needs. This leads the child to become unsure if the world is trustworthy and if they can rely on

others. These children may not learn to calm down and seek constant reassurance, but it never

satisfies their doubt. The insecure-avoidant style is characterized by a child that avoids contact

with the caregiver and others. Since this child’s needs were not being met, it learns that the

caregiver can not be relied on, so the child becomes more independent and disengaged. The

disorganized or disoriented style represents the most insecure attachment style and happens when

a child is given mixed responses from their caregiver. For example, a caregiver may cry when

the child feels happy but smile when crying. This is often seen in caregivers with a mental

disorder such as schizophrenia. Due to these mixed responses, the child does not learn to

interpret emotions or connect with their caregiver. This style is commonly found in children who

have been abused. Abuse disrupts a child’s ability to regulate their emotions (Main & Solomon,

1990). If a child is put into a daycare setting, the formation of a secure attachment may be in

jeopardy as the child will be around many different staff who do not individually meet all their

needs. Deprivation of parental attachment can lead to severe problems in children, leading to

developmental delays, failure to thrive, and attachment disorders (Bowlby, 1982). Children who

experience neglectful situations and display inappropriate attachment behavior may be diagnosed
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with Reactive Attachment Disorder. In summary, children form different attachment styles based

on their caregiver’s behavior and environment.

To conclude, attachment is a bond that forms with a child’s primary caregiver(s). This

bond is vital to developing a child’s ability to regulate emotions and form relationships with

others. Children may form different attachment styles depending on how their caregiver treats

them. These different attachment styles affect how a child will interact with partners in the

future. An unresponsive caregiver may lead to an insecure attachment which usually leads to a

person unable to form healthy relationships. Due to this, caregivers need to be responsive to a

child’s needs and provide them with the support necessary to trust the world.
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References

Davis, M. B., & Carnelley, B. (2023, February 3). Attachment: The What, the Why, and the

Long-Term Effects. Attachment: The What, the Why, and the Long-Term Effects ·

Frontiers for Young Minds. Retrieved July 23, 2023, from

https://kids.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/frym.2023.809060

Why Attachment Matters. (n.d.). Why Attachment Matters. Retrieved July 23, 2023, from

https://practicenotes.org/v19n3/matters.htm

The Attachment Project. (2020, July 2). Attachment Styles and Their Role in Adult Relationships.

Attachment Project. Retrieved July 23, 2023, from

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/