PART THREE: Gender-Based Violence/ Violence against Women

Definition of Terms

Abuse is any harmful or unlawful treatment or use, often to gain an unfair benefit of some kind.
and other major facets of a person’s life.
Child sexual abuse is any behavior, with or without contact that imposes sexual behavior on a
child.
Domestic violence is any act or threatened act of violence by a spouse or partner. Domestic
violence can include physical or sexual abuse; economic abuse; emotional, verbal or
psychological abuse, including any conduct that makes another person feel constantly unhappy,
humiliated, ridiculed, afraid or depressed or to feel inadequate or worthless; harassment,
including sexual harassment and intimidation; or conduct that in any way harms or may harm
another person, including any omission that results in harm and either endangers the safety,
health or wellbeing of another person, undermines another person’s privacy, integrity or
security or detracts or is likely to detract from another person’s dignity or worth as a human
being.
Early marriage is when someone marries or is forced to marry under the age of 18. This is often
forced by parents or other relatives.
Emotional abuse/violence is behavior that seeks to control an individual by inflicting emotional
harm, which can include threats, intimidation, humiliation, coercion, etc., and can often lead to
or is incorporated with other forms of violence including domestic and sexual violence.
Exploitation is the act of taking advantage of something or someone, in particular the act of
taking advantage, unjustly, over another person for your own benefit.
Female genital cutting is when healthy vaginal tissue is either nicked, excised, and/or sewn in
relation to a secret society rite of passage.
Gender-based violence (GBV) is an umbrella term for any harmful act that is perpetrated
against a person’s will, and that is based on socially ascribed (gender) differences between
males and females. GBV is not synonymous with violence against women and girls even though
it is widely recognized that GBV is normally perpetrated against women and girls by men and
boys. This acknowledgment of men and boys as the predominant perpetrators of GBV does not
exclude them as victims of GBV as well. Even though GBV, often gets used interchangeably with
violence against women, this is not the definition of the term. This fluidity of use however
speaks to the subordinate role of women in society, which often leaves them as victims. There
are many forms of GBV and most commonly, they are categorized to include: sexual violence,
sexual exploitation and abuse (SEA), domestic violence, economic violence, and emotional
violence.

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Oppression is unjust and cruel use of power and authority over individuals or groups.
Patriarchy is the male-dominated social structure where women are subordinate.
Power is having control, authority, or influence.
Rape is forcing a person to have sexual penetration vaginally, anally, or orally, against their will.
Sexual harassment is perpetrating unwanted sexual advances or sexual attention.
Status is the social and economic standing that a person has in a community in relation to other
people.
Violence is the use of force or power to harm another person.

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 I. Gender-Based Violence/Violence Against Women
Gender-based violence is violence that is perpetrated against an individual based on their
socially prescribed gender roles, expectations, and norms. While GBV largely affects women
and girls because of their socially subordinate status in relation to men and boys, it is
acknowledged that men and boys are also victims of violence because of their gender roles and
expectations linked to ideas of masculinity.
GBV infringes on victims'/survivors human rights and reinforces the inequities between men
and women often leaving life-long physical and emotional scars and sometimes resulting in
death. While many people think of gender-based violence in terms of physical violence, there
are other forms of violence, which maintain the unequal power dynamics.
GBV can be psychological, sexual, emotional, or economic violence. It involves not only direct
force but also threats, intimidation, and coercion. Violence does not have to be direct to be
effective. The threat of violence can have a devastating impact on people’s lives and the choices
and decisions they make. Often, the truth about the extent of violence faced by individuals, in
particular women and girls, is minimized or denied. Some people say GBV is pervasive because
of “bad” men and therefore deny that it has anything to do with them and the socio-cultural
fabric of society. Others blame women or argue that violence is justified based because she…
you can fill in many of the reasons we hear every day that justifies violence. These attitudes are
dangerous and diminish the seriousness and pervasiveness of GBV, which allows it to continue

II. Key Concepts

1. Gender Discrimination
The systematic, unfavorable treatment of individuals on the basis of their gender, which denies
them rights, opportunities, or resources. Across the world, women are treated unequally and
less value is placed on their lives because of their gender. Women’s differential access to power
and control of resources is central to this discrimination in all institutional spheres, i.e. the
household, community, market, and state.
Within the household, women and girls can face discrimination in the sharing out of household
resources. In the labor market, unequal pay, occupational exclusion, or segregation into low-
skill and low-paid work limit women’s earnings in comparison to those of men of similar
education levels. Women’s lack of representation and voice in decision-making bodies in the
community and the state perpetuates discrimination, in terms of access to public services, such
as schooling and health care, or discriminatory laws. The law is assumed to be gender-neutral
when in fact it may perpetuate gender discrimination, being a product of a culture with
oppressive gender ideologies.
Even where constitutional or national legal provisions uphold gender equality principles,
religious or other customary laws that privilege men may take precedence in practice. However,
the law, when reformed with women’s input, can be a potent tool for challenging

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discrimination, if combined with other strategies, including capacity-building to overcome
barriers to claiming rights.

2. Gender Equality and Equity

Gender equity is the process that leads to gender equality.

The term ‘gender equity’ is often used interchangeably with ‘gender equality’. The distinction
is drawn between these two concepts, reflecting divergent understandings of gender
differences and of the appropriate strategies to address these. Gender equality denotes
women having the same opportunities in life as men, including the ability to participate in the
public sphere. It is to provide opportunities for women that allow them to achieve equal status
to men. In effect, progress in women’s status is measured against a male norm. Equal
opportunities policies and legislation tackle the problem through measures to increase
women’s participation in public life.
Gender equity denotes the equivalence in life outcomes for women and men, recognizing their
different needs and interests, and requiring a redistribution of power and resources. The goal of
gender equity, sometimes called substantive equality moves beyond equality of opportunity by
requiring transformative change. Gender equity goals are seen as being more political than
gender equality goals. It recognizes that women and men have different needs, preferences,
and interests and that equality of outcomes may necessitate different treatment of men and
women. An equity approach implies that all development policies and interventions need to be
scrutinized for their impact on gender relations. It necessitates a rethinking of policies and
programs to take account of men’s and women’s different realities and interests. So, for
example, it implies rethinking existing legislation on employment, as well as development
programs, to take account of women’s reproductive work and their concentration in
unprotected, casual work in informal and home-based enterprises.

3. Gender-Based Violence
Any act or threat by men or male-dominated institutions that inflicts physical, sexual, or
psychological harm on a woman or girl because of their gender. Gender violence occurs in both
the ‘public’ and ‘private’ spheres. It happens in virtually all societies, across all social classes,
with women particularly at risk from men they know. Official figures are scarce, and under-
reporting is rife, especially when the violence involves another family member.

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 4. Power and GBV & Patriarchy
Power can only exist in relation to other people and is something people don’t always have.
Having power is being able to have access to and control over resources and to be able to
control decision-making. When an individual has power – the person usually feels like she/he is
in control and feels good. Conversely, when an individual feels powerless – the person often
feels out of control and has many negative emotions.
Power over is to have control over recourses, decision-making, and to be able to impose these
on somebody or a situation. Often power over is used negatively and associated with
corruption, discrimination, and abuse. When used negatively it means taking power from
someone else to dominate them. Sometimes, power over can be used positively - for example,
a person who has the responsibility and the position in an organization or a community has
power over those the person is interacting with – the person can decide to support people in
your community and have the power to affect change and harness the power with the
community.
Power to is the ability to influence own life by having the knowledge, skills, money, or even just
the ability to convince self to do or think something. All people have power even though at
times it is difficult to express it. For example, a young girl from an economically poor family can
learn even though she may not have much space for or access to formal education. However,
she can still believe and put things or seek out opportunities to learn. This is what is needed to
tap into with the work that is being done on gender-related issues.
Power with is the power that exists as a group - e.g., the collective power of young people, the
collective power of women - to make decisions and act on areas of common ground or interests
that benefit all. This type of power brings solidarity when it harnesses the talents, knowledge,
and energy of the individuals.
Power within is the ability to imagine that people can have more, that they can create change,
that they can have a better life and that they as an individual are important, valuable and have
rights - just because all people have strength and potential. Ultimately it is the power of self-
confidence and self-esteem.
It is necessary to help people recognize the power within them and use that for the power to
build knowledge and create change by harnessing this power with others and ultimately have a
positive impact on and power over their lives and their community.
Recognizing internalized oppression. It is important to recognize and acknowledge that
individuals and groups historically disenfranchised and marginalized often have little power to
influence much and that sense of powerlessness can often lead to abuses of the relative power
they do have over. Focusing on how to harness the power within (and diminish the feelings of
powerlessness) while acknowledging the limited power over and to is important.

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Patriarchy
Systemic societal structures institutionalize male physical, social, and economic power over
women. These structures work to the benefit of men by constraining women’s life choices and
chances. There are many different interpretations of patriarchy. However, the roots of
patriarchy are often located in women’s reproductive role and sexual violence, interwoven with
processes of t exploitation. The main ‘sites’ of patriarchal oppression have been identified as
housework, paid work, the state, culture, sexuality, and violence.
Behaviors that discriminate against women because of their gender are seen as patriarchal
‘practices’; for example occupational segregation, exclusion, and unequal pay. The concept of
patriarchy has been drawn into gender and development theorizing; in order to challenge not
only unequal gender relations but also unequal t relations, sometimes seen as underpinning
patriarchy (Mies, 1986; DAWN, 1995).
An overarching theory of male power may help to conceptualize the extent of gender inequality
but fails to deal with its complexity. It tends to assume that gender oppression is uniform across
time and space. More recent thinking has therefore rejected such a universal concept,
identifying the need for detailed historical and cultural analysis to understand gender-based
oppression. Neither are women a homogeneous group constrained in identical ways. Gender
inequalities are crosscut by other social inequalities such as class, caste, ethnicity, and race,
which could be prioritized over gender concerns in certain contexts.
A rigid and universal concept of patriarchy denies women space for resistance and strategies
for change. A more nuanced analysis is needed that takes into account difference and
complexity, and the agency of women.

III. Violence Against Women

The term ”violence against women” means any act of gender-based violence that results in, or
is likely to result in, physical, sexual, or psychological harm or suffering to women, including
threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or
in private life. Violence against women shall be understood to encompass, but not be limited
to, the following:
a. Physical, sexual and psychological violence occurring in the family, including battering, sexual
abuse of female children in the household, dowry-related violence, marital rape, female genital
mutilation and other traditional practices harmful to women, non-spousal violence related to
exploitation;
b. Physical, sexual and psychological violence occurring within the general community, including
rape, sexual abuse, sexual harassment and intimidation at work, in educational institutions and
elsewhere, trafficking in women, and forced prostitution; c. Physical, sexual, and psychological
violence perpetrated or condoned by the State, wherever it occurs.

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Source: Declaration on Violence against Women, United Nations General Assembly, Resolution
A/RES/48/104; 20 December 1993

1. Types & Forms of Violence Against Women

1. Physical assault such as striking, pushing, punching, pinching, hair-pulling, hitting with an
object, injuring or threatening with a weapon, burning, throttling, etc.
2. Damage to property, destroying furnishings or personal belongings, inflicting pain on pets,
etc.
3. Menacing behavior and coercion are also common forms of physical violence, such as: “If you
leave me, I’ll kill you ...”, “I’ll kill the whole family ...”, “I’ll slash your face ...”, “I’ll take the
children away from you ...” etc. Threats of violence against others (relatives, pets ...) are
another means of coercion. This kind of intimidation and extortion makes actual physical
violence ”redundant” – the fear it inspires already has the desired effect.
4. Harassment like incessant telephone calls, calls in the middle of the night, threatening letters,
following and stalking to and from work, etc.
5. Isolation is a strategy frequently used to manipulate and control the victim. Isolation can take
various forms: prevention from seeing relatives or friends, locking up at home, disconnecting
the telephone, disallowing use of the car, etc.
6. Verbal abuse, denigration, and slander erode the victim’s self-esteem and mental health. In
time the woman loses her confidence in her own value, her identity and feelings, her rights, and
her ability to manage her own life. This form of violence encompasses: ridiculing the victim in a
company, making insulting remarks about her appearance or character, and assertions that she
is insane or mentally ill, imagining things, a likely candidate for suicide, etc. Such insinuations
often serve to divert attention away from the perpetrator’s own actions.
7. Economic violence implies an imbalance in access to financial resources and the exploitation
of a stronger economic position. Within the family, this can take the form of the perpetrator
providing too little money for domestic expenses and/or keeping sources of income, assets or
expenditure secret from the victim.

2. Violence within the female life Cycle

Gender-Based Violence (GBV) affects the entire life cycle of women. At any point in their lives,
women can be subjected to forms of violence such as the threat of sexual assault, rape, or
incest. While boys are also at risk, the possibility that girls are raped or sexually assaulted is
much higher than it is for their brothers. Furthermore, those inflicting violence on women are
as diverse as are the opportunities to abuse; the perpetrators can be family members, those in
positions of trust or power, or even strangers.

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Often women are confronted with interdependent and cumulative patterns of violence when
physical, economic, and emotional forms of violence reinforce each other. The fear of violence,
including harassment, is not only a permanent strain on the self-esteem and confidence of
women, it also negatively influences their mobility and access to resources, as well as their
basic social, economic, and political activities.
Violence against women has an intergenerational impact: boys and girls learn and reproduce
largely in accordance with the gender roles demonstrated by their parents. Indeed, men who
witness and experience violence as children are more likely to use violence against their own
spouses or children. By the same token, women who witness and experience abuse as children
are more likely to become victims in their adult life. Interestingly, women who have undergone
female genital mutilation are also more likely to advocate or allow FGM to happen to their
female relatives.
It is important to note that there are some specific forms of violence against women, which
only occur within a specific cultural setting. Examples of this are: dowry-related violence;
female infanticide and selective abortion of female fetuses; honor killings; and female genital
mutilation. Although there is undeniably some cultural variation in violence, one has to keep in
mind that gender-based violence has universal features. Violence is a structural problem in
many societies of the world even if there are differences in the forms in which this abuse of
power is manifested.
The following table shows a classification of the various forms of gender-based violence that
can take place within the female life cycle.
Violence in the Female Life Cycle

Life Cycle Type of Violence

Pre-natal Infancy Sex-selective fertilization
Sex-selective abortion
Violence against pregnant mothers affects the fetus

Infancy Female infanticide

Unequal access to food and medical care
Neglect
Genital mutilation
Incest and sexual abuse

Childhood Genital mutilation

Incest and sexual abuse
Unequal access to food, medical care, and education
Child labour, child prostitution, and trafficking

Adolescence and Incest and sexual abuse

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 Reproductive Age Dating and courtship violence
Economically coerced sex
Forced marriage
Rape
Marital rape
Sexual harassment and abuse on the way to, or from, school/ the
workplace
Sexual harassment and abuse at school/at the workplace
Denial of sexual self-determination, like using contraception and
other family planning methods, denial of safe sex in times of
HIV/AIDS
Forced prostitution and trafficking
Psychological abuse by partner and relatives
Physical abuse by partner and relatives dowry-related crimes and
murder
Honor killings
Forced sterilization
Forced abortion
Abuse and rape of women with disabilities
Abuse and exploitation of young widows
Repeated genital mutilation after childbirth (infibulation)
Age Old Age Abuse of widows
Accusation and rituals related to witchcraft
Forced “suicide” or homicide of widows for economic reasons
Neglect of older women
Psychological abuse by partner and relatives
Physical abuse by partner and relatives
Rape
Sexual harassment

Source: Strengthening Women Rights; Ending violence against women and girls- Protecting
Human Rights: Good Practices for Development cooperation; 2005 by GTZ.

3. Violence and Male Role Models

Men are not innately violent towards women and children; rather, they become violent as a
result of beliefs and norms about what it means to be a man. When looking at male violence it
is worth examining two aspects of men’s gender norms in particular. The first is men’s sense of
“entitlement” to certain privileges over women, while the second concerns some of the most
common masculine norms, i.e. the widely accepted ways men are supposed to behave and the
specific roles they are expected to fulfill.

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Men and boys are taught that they are entitled to different types of privileges over women.
Examples of male advantages can include: greater power and access over women in the public
sphere, control over their economic activities, income, and mobility; and entitlement to sex,
obedience, and other services (e.g. childbearing, cooking, caretaking, and cleaning) from them
within the home.
To differing degrees, boys and men in different societies learn that it is acceptable to use
violence against women to assert these “entitlements”. For example, the 2002 WHO World
Report on Violence and Health states that “the events that trigger violence in abusive
relationships are remarkably consistent. They include disobeying or arguing with the man;
questioning him about money or girlfriends; not having food ready on time; not caring
adequately for the children or home; refusing to have sex; and suspecting a woman of infidelity
(WHO report summary, p. 15).” In fact, many men explain their own violent behavior as a result
of the women’s faults and deny any responsibility. In many societies contradictory moral
systems allow men to have extra-marital affairs and to be convinced to be good husbands and
fathers at the same time. If their wives demand family support and criticize their husbands’
spending on girlfriends many men react with violence.
Aside from a sense of privilege, gender norms play an important part in socializing men to use
violence. Most people, regardless of where they live, can list specific characteristics and roles
that are attributable to women and men. These characteristics do not relate to any particular
man or woman, but to generalised notion of what society expects men and women to be.
The world’s rich cultural diversity has created many different expressions of gender norms.
However, many common elements are shared across cultures. These “dominant” gender norms
are essentially idealized visions of how women and men should behave. Various social
pressures and “policing mechanisms” act to enforce these restrictive roles and behaviors on
women and men. As a consequence, people - and particularly women - often have little choice
in how they choose to interpret these norms.
Many of the norms commonly associated with women tend to relegate them to “caring roles”
and to seek to ensure that women remain passive and weaker in relation to men. Whether they
have children or not, women are expected to take care of households, children, and the sick, as
well as fulfilling other supportive and caregiving roles in the workplace and at home. In many
instances, women are also socialized to be sexually attractive and compliant to men. In
contrast, dominant masculine norms prize strength, courage, and the ability to control
situations and emotions. Men are expected to be successful providers and protectors of the
family. In short, they are supposed to be strong warriors, decisive leaders, attractive, wealthy,
and powerful. Frequently men are also socialized to feel entitled to privileges over women such
as higher status and better pay; as well as the ability to command respect and pleasure from
women.
How do these dominant gender norms affect men’s perceptions of violence? Being raised to be
“brave” and “in control” is key to understanding men’s use of violence. When threatened, such
attributes can also translate into a readiness to fight and to use violence to assert control.

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Indeed, a sense of entitlement to women’s respect and affection is a key factor motivating
some men to use violence and rape when they feel that these “rights” are being withheld.
These dominant gender norms help to explain why the victims and perpetrators of all forms of
violence are usually men - and especially young men. In general, men fight more than women,
be it in wars, in the home, at school, or in the street. Militaries around the world are almost
always composed of men. It is also primarily men who are drafted into civil conflicts or who
perpetrate acts of terrorism. Overall, evidence shows that men use weapons more than women
and are more likely to be imprisoned or murdered. Men are also more likely to be violent
towards themselves. For example, statistics show that men commit suicide more often than
women.
These dominant notions of masculinity present numerous challenges to men in the public and
private parts of their lives. If men do not “succeed” in being masculine in the public domain –
i.e. by achieving status, economic gain, and/or security – they may resort to intimate partner
violence within the private sphere (Greig et al., 2000). As researchers from South Asia have
commented, “For all castes and religions, domestic violence frequently is linked to men’s
failure, either real or perceived, to fulfill masculine roles. Such failure is compounded when
wives react to a husband’s failure by challenging his misconduct. Both the failure itself and the
wife’s challenges, which undermine his masculinity, make the husband feel humiliated” (Kumar
et al., 2002).
This same set of restrictive gender norms leaves many women with a limited choice of roles in
the public sphere or within the family and private relations. This is especially the case in post-
conflict societies, where concepts of violent masculinity predominate. It is always important to
take the political and social developments as well as the current power structures into account.

IV. Social Factors Contributing to Violence Against Women

Violence against women is not simply perpetrated by individual men operating within a
vacuum: violence has structural, as well as personal, roots. On a personal level, violence against
women stems from the pressures, fears, and stifled emotions that lie beneath many of the
dominant forms of manhood.
Personal experience adds to these factors: individuals experience and learn about violence
through the family, the media, the community, and/or other institutions. For example, there is
a strong correlation between violent men and men who have witnessed violence against their
mother as a child or who have experienced abuse themselves. There is also a strong correlation
between men’s violence and age. Various surveys of different regions of the world have
revealed that most violence against women in relationships is committed by men under 40. By
contrast, men over 60 are much less likely to be violent towards women.
However, gender norms are structural: they are defined and maintained across all levels of
society. The factors that shape and sustain dominant gender norms – and, therefore, the

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imbalances between women and men – are the same issues that foster contexts where
violence against women is allowed to take place.
These factors can be mapped across the environment in which violence against women occurs,
i.e. the context in which men and women use and experience violence. To understand the
interrelationships between the different factors, it is helpful to start by analyzing how the
surrounding social environment contributes to and reinforces men and women’s behavior and
attitudes.
Looking at different levels of society, the following list sets out some of the factors that help to
create an environment where violence against women can take place:
For individual men
Many aspects of an individual’s attitudes and behavior, as well as past experiences, can
influence his risk of using violence. These include:
• Witnessing violence against women as a child
• Experiencing sexual abuse or child abuse
• Lack of positive role models
• Sense of entitlement and control over women
• Social isolation and depression
• Alcohol and drug use
• Attitudes and beliefs supportive of sexual violence
• High potential for aggression and violence
• Perception of violence as an accepted way to safeguard individual interests
• Violent behavior is an integral part of the positive self-image
• Fear to lose control over situations
• Lack of self-confidence /little self-esteem

In intimate and family relationships

People in an individual’s closest social circle – e.g. peers, partners, and family members - all
have the potential to shape that person’s behavior and experience. Factors that increase the
risk of violence within intimate/family relationships include:
• Attitudes of entitlement and male privilege
• Conflicts about power and control within intimate relationships
• Patterns of poor interpersonal communication

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• Male dominance in a relationship or family setting
• Economic stress, unemployment
• Emotionally unsupportive family environment
• Family honor considered more important than the health and safety of individuals
• Lack of peaceful strategies for conflict solving.

In communities
Community environments such as villages, schools, workplaces, and neighborhoods, all help to
shape an individual’s behavior and beliefs. Factors that increase the risk of violence within
these areas include:
 Living in communities that tolerate violence against women
• Attitudes and gender norms prevalent in the community that support violence against women
• Gender socialization that promotes unequal power between men and women
• Lack of support from police and the judicial system
• Weak community sanctions against violence against women
• Poverty and economic inequality
• Little or no community engagement in violence prevention
• Sanctions against the use of violence are almost non-existent
• Lack of measures for the prevention of violence by governmental institutions, religion, and
the media.

In society at large
Broader societal forces, such as economic interests, social norms, cultural beliefs, laws and
policies, institutional practices, and political ideologies, heavily influence personal relationships\
and community interactions. Risk factors that contribute to violence against women at this level
include:
• Historical and societal patterns that glorify violence, and particularly violence against women
• Traditional gender norms that support male superiority and sexual entitlement
• Weak institutional responses to violence against women
• Religious or cultural belief systems that support expressions of violence against women
• Economic and social policies that create or sustain

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• gaps and tensions between groups of people
• Stereotyped portrayal of women and men in the media
• Sexist reports on gender-based violence and a high
• level of violent and dehumanizing pornography
• Weak laws and policies related to violence against women
• Weak laws and policies related to sexism and homophobia
• No enforcement of international legislation
• High levels of crime and other violence and all forms of sexual exploitation
• Militarism and warfare during the conflict as well as in post-conflict situations
• Lack of peaceful strategies to solve conflicts.
It is clear that violence against women is rooted in prevailing hierarchical gender norms.
However, it is equally apparent that these norms are unavoidable. Gender is shaped by
personal behaviors and interpersonal relationships, as well as institutional and societal
structures; no matter where you come from, gender is a fundamental part of your life.
However, violence against women is all around us too; the sheer pervasiveness of dominant
gender norms should not foster a sense of complacency about addressing their negative
consequences. Interventions by governments and by non-governmental actors are possible and
they can be encouraged and supported by development cooperation.
Source: Strengthening Women Rights; Ending violence against women and girls- Protecting
Human Rights: Good Practices for Development cooperation; 2005 by GTZ.

Myths of Domestic Abuse

Survivors of abuse are sometimes surprised by how similar myths about domestic violence exist
across the different experiences of women. It is our duty as humans citizens to break through
these myths which excuse violence and encourage victim-blaming in our society.
Myth: Everything will become fine when you give him a baby.
Myth: It is alcohol and drugs that make men violent.
Myth: It only happens in poor and uneducated families in villages.
Myth: If the abuse is THAT BAD, why doesn't she leave?
Myth: His father was abusive to his mother, so that is why he is like this. It's not his fault.
Myth: She doesn’t keep the house clean or make good food. She deserves it. Or,

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Myth: He may be a bad husband, but he is a good father. She should stay because who will
accept her with kids?
Myth: It's no one's business, it's an internal family matter. It’s no one’s business. Family matters
should stay inside the house.
Myth: Initially, things go wrong in all marriages. Arguments, disagreements, clashes, and fights
are inevitable. So it’s okay. This will happen. Just find a way to deal with it and stick together
and everything will be okay once this initial period is over
Myth: Women have to make compromises and sacrifices at every step of their lives. So you
must learn to compromise to save your relationship.
Myth: Be submissive to your husband and in-laws. Do what they like. Don't do what they
dislike. This way you will win their hearts and they will start treating you better.
Myth: Every woman has to struggle/work hard to achieve her place in her husband’s home.
Myth: Does he beat you? So what? You’re his wife. He owns you.
Myth: God created women for men. Men have the divine right to get sex whenever they please.
Myth: Elders ‘discipline’ their children for their own well-being and excess loving can spoil
children, optimum upbringing will always involve spanking and verbal disciplining.

Victims or Survivors
Any woman leaving an abusive relationship is bound to take injuries and scars with her. Women
who are exposed to violence within the family fight to defend their physical integrity, try to
prevent violence from happening and are ultimate “survivors” of violence. In the English-
speaking world the term “survivor”, which aptly sums up the situation, has become widely used
in recent years.

V. Perpetrator Strategies
One of the most important perceptions to have emerged from work with abused women and
from research in the last few years has been that domestic violence against women should not
be regarded as an individual, isolated act but has its own dynamic pattern. This dynamism is
analogous with that which pertains to situations in which a person is imprisoned (and subjected
to or threatened with torture) or is the victim of terror or a hostage-taking. The difference is
that in the domestic environment the imprisonment and terror are barely perceptible for the
outside world. Even if the door is not locked, there are obstacles to escape. The barriers are
economic dependence and coercion through social, psychological, or legal means or by means
of physical violence. Such strategies are used to prevent the victim from developing any kind of
independence and to maintain the greatest possible degree of power and control over her. This
form of “imprisonment” gives rise to a unique relationship between the perpetrator and the

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victim: the perpetrator becomes a powerful factor – often the most powerful factor – in the life
of the victim or victims. The ultimate goal for the perpetrator is not merely to control the victim
but to obtain the victim’s acquiescence in the violence.
Torture as a Strategy
The means and strategies which a perpetrator employs to gain control over the victim are
similar to those used in systematic torture. They focus on methodical, repeated actions aimed
at achieving a traumatic effect on the victim and resulting in cumulative impotence and
isolation. They produce feelings and states of fear, helplessness, and powerlessness and seek
progressively to undermine the victim’s sense of identity and her self-esteem. In the end, actual
physical violence becomes redundant: the threat of violence and the memory of past acts of
violence are enough to bring about a constant state of fear. Bouts of physical violence and
outbursts of aggression may occur quite unexpectedly, reinforcing the feeling that the
perpetrator is all-powerful and that any resistance is futile. The victim appears to have no other
option than to submit to the perpetrator. Often the perpetrator will, however, not be satisfied
with the victim’s dread of him: he will also demand gratitude for being left alive.
The Strategy of Emotional Disorientation
Perpetrators are never continuously violent; they alternate their abuse with phases of
”kindness”, which only serve to give their victims a feeling of disorientation. Could it be that he
is a ”good person” after all? Victims cling to their misplaced trust in the perpetrator’s good
side”, which has the effect of making a separation even more difficult. The social environment
also tends to judge the perpetrator by the ”good side” which he shows to the outside world and
in many cases actually does him a service by discouraging the victim from leaving him. In the
overall context of the perpetrator’s long-term aim to exercise power and control, however, the
alternating phases of ”kindness” and ”affection” must be recognized for what they may be and
often are: elements in a strategy to wield power and forge bondage between the victim and
himself.
The Strategy of Isolation
In time isolation progressively destroys all the victim’s relationships. Again and again, women
tell of being forbidden by their partners to stay in contact with their families, of their partners
behaving so offensively that friends and acquaintances won’t come to visit anymore, of their
partners being against their having a job or constantly checking up on them at work. The
children are also affected: they are not allowed to invite other children around to the house
and nor to visit their friends. This deprives the victims of all their social support, which makes it
even more difficult to leave the abusive relationship. Constant observation and control are
further aspects of this isolation strategy. In the initial stages of a relationship, such patterns are
often misunderstood as signs of affection, and the woman willingly submits to them. As
isolation increases, however, so does her psychological and emotional dependence. The victims
have to rely for information on the perpetrators, who can tell them virtually anything – they
seldom have the chance to verify it. This can result in a distorted perception of things. The
Strategy of Exhaustion Perpetrators try to wear down their victims’ emotional and physical

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strength and thus weaken their resistance. They do this by, for example, preventing them from
sleeping or by piling work on them.
The Strategy of Denigration
Systematic denigration and insults have the effect of destroying the victim’s self-esteem. The
perpetrator often supplements various demonstrations of his own power with the insistence
that the victim performs utterly senseless tasks. The victim is seldom aware of this strategy and
tends to attach the blame to herself. One necessary step in liberating the victim from such
relationships is thus to analyze the strategies of violence with her and develop counter-
strategies.

Victim/Survivors Behavior Patterns

The Stockholm Syndrome Victims of violence show similar behavior patterns to victims of
hostage-taking. This fact emerges from a study of the psychological impact of hostage-taking
after a bank robbery in Stockholm. The ”Stockholm syndrome” applies in the following
conditions:
1. The victim’s life is at risk.
2. The victim cannot escape or thinks she/he cannot escape.
3. The perpetrator is friendly at times.
4. The victim is cut off from the outside world. The Stockholm syndrome in the form of the
victim’s identification with the perpetrator can occur in the children of battered women who
witness violence and threats either directly or indirectly.

Traumatic bonding
As a result of strategies like isolation and the strengthening of dependence, abused women
cling more and more desperately to the only relationship which they have left: their
relationship with the perpetrator. Under the impact of this ”traumatic bonding” the woman’s
own interests, needs and opinions are supplanted by those of the perpetrator. The dominance
of violence can become so all-encompassing (in cases of sexual violence, for instance) that the
perpetrator manages to break the victim’s will. It is only the (threat of) violence against the
children which induces her to go on fighting. However, if the abuse continues for any length of
time, most women find they can no longer protect their children. Utterly demoralized, they give
up. Some attempt suicide.

VI. Coping Strategies

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In an attempt to ensure their survival and to avert more drastic violence, victims develop a
number of strategies aimed at bringing about a change in the situation. These coping strategies
may be problem-based or emotion-based.
Problem-based strategies focus on active steps to change the practical situation (e.g.
separation); whereas
Emotion-based strategies seek to cope with the situation on an internal level. In most cases,
the victim will employ both strategies, either simultaneously or successively. If the perpetrator
is exercising total power over the victim, she will primarily resort to an emotion-based strategy,
since the prospects of bringing about a change in the situation must appear remote.
Counter-Attack
If women are seriously afraid for their own safety or that of their children, they may resort to a
physical counter-attack. If the perpetrator is injured, though, they run the risk that he might
bring charges. It is very seldom that women kill abusers. As American studies have shown, the
killing of the abuser by the victim may be an indication that she received no effective support
from outside. Since women’s shelters were set up in the United States, the number of violent
men killed by their victims has decreased, but not the number of women killed by violent men.

Perpetrators Motives and Strategies

Triggers of Violence
Most acts of violence against women are sparked off by conflicts relating to daily life:
1. The man’s proprietary behavior
2. Jealousy
3. The man’s wish to dominate and exercise power and control, combined with his ”punishing”
the woman
4. Demands and expectations relating to the household and access to financial Resources
5. The education and upbringing of the children
6. Sexual demands

Victim blaming
This attitude, widespread in our society, is not by any means confined to violent men. It
exonerates the perpetrator by blaming the victim. Moreover, it serves to perpetuate the
existing power relations between men and women.
Victim blaming creates a social climate in which violence against women is made to appear an
understandable and commensurate response to the victim’s behavior. Women thus become

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victims in two senses: victims of violence, and victims of the accusation that they provoked this
violence (she didn’t cook for him, she wore a short miniskirt, she was unfaithful ...). The
perpetrator can channel the blame for the violence away from himself and avoids having to
bear any unpleasant consequences.

Violent Men’s Claim to Power and Domination

Violent men tend to be convinced of the supremacy of men as the only true structural principle
in marital and family life. They are unable to cite plausible reasons for their outbursts of
violence, claiming merely that their partners were given to nagging and finding fault. Violence is
a means of silencing women to assert or restore their power and authority. The Context of
Violence Researchers long neglected the context in which violence occurs. The British
researchers Dobash and Dobash were the first to study this aspect (and many other aspects) of
the subject. By applying several indices they conducted a study of the entire context in which
acts of violence occur, questioning both men and women. Dobash and Dobash established that
there are wide divergences in the way in which the two genders perceive the forms, extent, and
frequency of violence in relationships. Only in the case of “mild” violence did their perceptions
tally. With severe violence and serious injuries, on the other hand, there were huge
discrepancies in the way they perceived events. The two researchers conclude that the reason
lies in defense mechanisms that perpetrators evolve in order to exonerate themselves of
responsibility and to protect their self-esteem, because they would otherwise be open to the
charge of being ”cowards” for using violence against a ”weak” woman.

Reasons Why Abused Women Are Reluctant To Seek Help

1.Feelings of shame and guilt
2. Fear of being blamed once again
3. No confidence in institutionalized assistance (as a result of negative experiences)
4. Fear of the consequences – what might happen if they bring it up (being pressured to
maintain secrecy)
5. Financial and social insecurity
6. The fear of losing kinds
7. Protecting the family (don’t wash your dirty linen in public)
8. To comply with the social norms of honor
9. Loyalty towards the partner/perpetrator
10. Fear of their own emotions and aggression
11. Trivialising (it is all behind me now, nothing serious happened)

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12. You have to solve this on your own, don’t expect any help from outside

VII. Steps for Addressing Intimate Partner Violence

The first step to address any type of violence is to recognize it. To help women who are in an
abusive relationship, it is commendable to go through the following

If a spouse tries to dominate or control you, it means you are the victim. If you are in any
intimate relationships, ask yourself do you afraid of your partner, do you avoid certain topics
because of the fear of angriness, do you feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner,
do you believe that you deserve to be mistreated, do you feel emotionally helpless. If any of the
answers is YES, IT MEANS YOU ARE THE VICTIM.
Then ask yourself, does your partner yell at you, criticize you, restrict your mobility, contacts
and family visits, treat you so badly that you feel embarrassed in front of your friends/ relatives,
ignore your opinion, blame you for their own abusiveness, see you as a sex object, if the answer
to any of these questions, YOU ARE THE VICTIM.
Again ask yourself, are your partner temper unpredictable, threaten or hurt you, threat to take
your children away, threat to commit suicide if you leave, threat to kill you, force to have sex or
destroy your belongings that can be jewelry, tv remote or a cup, if any answer is, YOU ARE THE
VICTIM.
Does your partner control where you go, what you do, is jealous, limit your access to money,
phone, and constantly check up on you, YOU ARE THE VICTIM.
It is still abuse if you are pushed, you have been injured once as it can continue further if you
give up your rights in compensation not to be assaulted and emotionally assaulted. Economic
abuse is also a kind of abuse if your partner is controlling your money, making you account for
every penny you spend, withholding basic necessities such as medications, prevent you from
choosing your career, stealing, or taking your money forcefully.

If you know some who is being abused, ask if something is wrong. Do not think that it is
someone’s personal matter. Show your concern and it might help them to get out of it. They
might be waiting for someone’s help.
Never think that the victim will come to you for help, as the abusers are controlling them.
Listen to the person, and give confidential space to share. It will help in identifying the problem
and reflecting back on the issue. You can take them to a side, and give them time to share.
Ensure confidentiality.
Never judge or blame the victim. They need support and help.
Offer help. It is never easy for a victim to get help. Remember such people are confused, afraid
and depressed, so tell them that you will be there with them whenever they need help.

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Signs and Symptoms of Abuse
Physical Symptoms:
1. bruises
2. contusions/discoloration
3. injuries (burns, cuts, bite marks, head wounds)
4. missing teeth
5. fractures (ribs, nose, other bones)
6. dislocations (particularly jaw and shoulder)
7. hearing problems
8. genital problems
9. skull injury
Psychosomatic Symptoms:
1. symptoms of fear (heart palpitations, hyperventilation, trembling, sweating, dizziness,
stomach pains, pains in the cardiac region, shortness of breath, insomnia)
2. symptoms of powerlessness (weakness, depression, dejection, fatigue)
3. symptoms of tension (headaches, sleeping disorders, stomach pains, menstrual disorders)
Psycho-social Symptoms:
1. feelings of guilt
2. shame
3. watchfulness
4. lack of concentration
5. negative self-image
6. social isolation
7. relational problems
8. problems with sexuality
9. suppressed emotions
10. conflicting emotions
Behavioral Symptoms:
1. numb and/or submissive behavior
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2. apparent nervousness
3. frequent canceling or missing of appointments
4. staying close to the partner at all times
5. use of phrases like: ”my husband will ... /won’t let me…”
Psychiatric Disorders:
1. Multiple personality disorder
2. Suicidal tendencies (self-destructive behavior)
3. Dissociate symptoms
4. Psychotic behavior

VIII. Addressing GBV/VAW

Addressing the issue of GBV/VAW

To address gender Based violence, the responses needed can be divided into 2 categories:
1. Curative Strategies: Providing Support and Services to the Victims of Gender-Based Violence
2. Preventive Strategies: Addressing the Social and Structural Roots of Violence

To address the structural and social causes of gender Based violence it is important to challenge
the gender roles, norms, and stereotypes, which condition men and women to act in a specific
way. Alternative norms based on equality and non-violence should be promoted through
School Education, Civil Society programs, and Media. Social norms such as Honor or being a
“real man” should be redefined non-violently, young people both men and women should learn
that being a real man does not mean to be dominant, controlling, and abusive, similarly the
concept of “good women/pious women” should also be redefined as a person who has full
control of his life and body.
Sensitizing men on the issue of violence against women, mobilizing men to play an active role in
ending violence against women, and building the self-esteem of girls and women helping them
to speak up and seek help in situations of violence is important for putting an end to the culture
of violence and discrimination. Power imbalance is one of the very important root causes of
gender Based violence, programs focusing on Gender Equity and Equality, Equal Opportunities
for Women, Girls Education, Economic and Political Empowerment of women, Equal
Inheritance Rights, Equal Marriage Rights, Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights of women and
Human Rights Protection will ultimately lead to power balance among genders, and thus
reduced Gender-Based violence.

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Media is playing an important role in shaping gender norms, Movies, Dramas, or songs, which
perpetuate discriminatory gender norms should not be broadcasted; the humiliation of women
or harassment shouldn’t be romanticized. Media can also play role in sensitizing communities
by generating debates on the issues of gender-based violence. Social Media and Citizen
Journalism are revolutionary in setting new trends and influencing communities. It can be used
by citizens and activists to highlight the issue of violence challenge the discriminatory norms
and harmful cultural practices against women. It can also be used as an Educational Platform to
educate people about the mechanisms which protect women against violence and the ways to
seek help in situations of violence.
Acknowledgment is the first step to address any social issue; so it is important to conduct
research and get a real picture of the prevalence of gender Based violence, attitudes of people
towards it, and the systems which exist to protect women. The facts found from research can
be used to identify new trends and emerging problems which can help set national and local
policy priorities and can help in tailoring interventions according to the needs of different
stakeholders.
System should be developed by government and Civil Society Organizations to provide support
and resources to victims of violence against women such as Shelter Homes, Medical Support,
Legal Support, and psycho-social support. In many countries, women find themselves trapped
in a vicious cycle of violence because they are unable to find support either at the community
level or from the state. Supportive communities or the Supportive States are crucial for
addressing violence against women and for breaking the silence around violence.
There should be laws and policies at the National level which can protect women against.
Countries should ratify International treaties and conventions which protect women's rights
such Convention in Elimination of Violence against Women and can help the Civil Society to
advocate for improved laws for the protection of women from violence.
Women can demand their right of protection against violence only when they are aware of
their rights and the mechanism to ask for their rights. Therefore government and Civil Society
organizations should conduct programs on Literacy of the laws and Mechanisms which protect
women's rights.
At times, there are good laws on paper but they are poorly implemented. Often women who
face violence in families find it difficult to ask for their rights because the law enforcing agencies
replicate gender-biased attitudes of their communities in their work. Effective implementation
of the laws and gender sensitization of the law enforcement agencies is important for enabling
women to practice their rights.
Strong Civil Societies make strong societies, because they highlight issues, they bring attitude
transformation in their communities, and they pressurize the political stakeholders to develop
laws and mechanisms which protect women from violence.

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