1.

Võ Thị Thanh Thảo – 70222347TPE2

2. Lý Tuyết Như – 70222292TPE2
3. Trần Quỳnh Anh – 70222205TPE2
4. Quách Gia Hy – 70222391TPE2
5. Lê Thụy Bích Chi – 70222303TPE2

UNIT ASSIGNMENT 1
Topic 1. Write an essay that explains the positive or negative effects of science on the food
we eat.

Task ,Description Person - in charge

Writing

Introduction Võ Thị Thanh Thảo – 70222347TPE2

Introduce three positive effects
of science on food.

Lý Tuyết Như – 70222292TPE2

Body 1: The creation of Scientists invented modern
genetically modified crops methods of genetically modified
crops.

Trần Quỳnh Anh – 70222205TPE2

Body 2: The development Science's creation of 3D technology
of 3D technology methods methods

Quách Gia Hy – 70222391TPE2

Body 3: The creation of Science created modern methods
modern food preservation of food preservation.
techniques

Conclusion Lê Thụy Bích Chi – 70222303TPE2

The conclusion of essay

Reviewing

Content Editor Võ Thị Thanh Thảo

Check and edit the content

Grammar Check and modify into correct Lý Tuyết Như: Intro to body 2
grammar structure
Trần Quỳnh Anh: Body 3 to conclusion
Vocabulary Check and rectify vocabulary Lê Thụy Bích Chi

Connector Check and give feedback Quách Gia Hy

Intro
Science has made many inventions that make a person's life better, especially in food
technology. Some advantages are creating genetically modified plants; the 3D technology
method; and food preservation. In general, with scientific developments, food has improved
better than later, not only solving the population growth, and the polluted environment but
also saving-time, and human resource

Comment
● Content editor: Make clear the 3 positive science effects on food.
● Connector: The paragraph organized well, using enough linking words
● Vocabulary checker: Science has brought about many breakthroughs that have
improved human life, especially in the field of food technology. Some notable
positive effects of science on the food we eat include the creation of genetically
modified crops, 3D technology methods, and modern food preservation techniques.
These advancements not only address issues of population growth and environmental
pollution but also help saving-time and human resources.
● Grammar checker: The introduction appears to be grammatically correct. We did
not find any fail points, mistakes in the grammar or sentence structure. However,
using inappropriate punctuation “ ;” semicolons should be changed by “, “ commas.
Lack “.” in the final sentence.

Body 1
Scientific advancements have considerably contributed to escalation of food production. The
advent of GMOs Genetically Modified Organisms has led to creation of current crops which
are resistant to pets, diseases, and harsh habitat conditions, thereby increasing yield. Taking
Golden Rice ( PSBRCc 82) and Golden Rice ( NSIC 283 ) for typically instance they are the
new rice varieties that were genetically modified to produce beta-carotene which is a
precursor to vitamin A. They help children around the world avoid the risk of vitamin A
deficiency, respiratory disease, diarrhea, measles, and night blindness. More familiar with our
daily life meals , all raw material food such as soya beans, corn, sugar beets, tomatoes,
potatoes,... were modified to gain greater nutritional, quantities, capacities, defense disease,
and eventually bring lookouts more eye-catching.

Comment
● Content editor: The content is informative and well-structured. It would be better to
add information about advance in enhancing nutrition to match with given examples

Scientific advancements have considerably contributed to escalation of food production. The

advent of GMOs Genetically Modified Organisms has led to the creation of current crops
which are resistant to pests, diseases, and harsh habitat conditions, thereby increasing yield. It
is most notable that scientists apply GMOs to create foods with certain superior nutritional
properties. Taking Golden Rice ( PSBRCc 82) and Golden Rice ( NSIC 283 ) for typically
instance, they are the new rice varieties that were genetically modified to produce beta-
carotene which is a precursor to vitamin A. They help children around the world avoid the
risk of vitamin A deficiency, respiratory disease, diarrhea, measles, and night blindness.
More familiar with our daily meals , all commodities such as soya beans, corn, sugar beets,
tomatoes, potatoes,... were modified to gain greater nutritional, quantities, capacities, defense
disease, and eventually bring lookouts more eye-catching.

● Connector: The transition among ideas is smooth. Summarize quite adequately

highlights of GMOs,
● Vocabulary checker: “ raw material food” should be replaced with “commodities”
● Grammar checker: The words “pets” should be revised “pests” and “ daily life
meals “ transferred to “ daily meals.

Body 2
Besides the positive advantages of creating genetically modified plants, one of the scientific
advancements is the 3D technology method which is an outstanding advantage. Firstly, the
3D technology method helps save time, and human resources from farming to processing. For
example, to complete one hamburger, we need to have 01 to 02 months, not including the
transportation process. Opposite that if you use the 3D technology method, we can create the
finishing hamburger that only takes 30 minutes to one hour. Secondly, when using and eating
the final product which is created by the 3D printer does not lose the inherent nutrients and
flavor that the real food brings. On the other hand, consumers can adjust the appropriate
amount of nutrition that is suitable for the user. Like people with high blood pressure, we just
write the notice and pathological, the 3D printer will use less salt and grease for the finished
product. Therefore, applying the 3D printer method in food technology can save time, the
human resources, and decrease the issue of a polluted environment, but not influencing the
nutrition in food and the flavor.
Comment
● Content editor: The content is well- detailed and provides a comprehensive view of
the benefits of 3D technology in food production. It might be helpful to provide a few
more specific instances of how this technology is currently used in the food industry.
● Connector: The flow of the paragraph is smooth and the points are well connected.
● Vocabulary checker:The vocabulary used is appropriate , yet it is not enough
advanced vocabulary. Some vocabularies can be upscaled “Opposite that if you use
the 3D technology method” change into On the contrary, utilizing the 3D technology
method” and “but not influencing the nutrition in food and the flavor” replace with
“without compromising the nutritional value and flavor of the food”

● Grammar checker:

Another positive effect is the 3D technology method,which is an outstanding advantage.

Firstly, the 3D technology method helps save time, and human resources from farming to
processing. For example, to complete one hamburger, we need to have 01 to 02 months, not
including the transportation process. On the contrary, utilizing the 3D technology method, we
can create the finishing hamburger that only takes 30 minutes to one hour. Secondly, when
using and eating the final product which is created by the 3D printer, it retains the essential
nutrients and flavor that the real food brings. On the other hand, consumers can adjust the
appropriate amount of nutrition that is suitable for the user. Particularly, for individuals with
high blood pressure, we just write the notice and pathological, the 3D printer will use less salt
and grease for the finished product. Therefore, implementing the 3D printer method in food
technology can save time, the human resources, and decrease the issue of a polluted
environment, without compromising the nutritional value and flavor of the food.

Body 3
In addition to the creation of freezing which is a method, has revolutionized food
preservation, allowing fresh foods and fruits to be kept longer than ever before. For instance,
berries, which are highly perishable can not be frozen immediately after harvest, maintaining
their nutritional value and freshness for months. This process has greatly extended their
availability beyond the growing season. Dehumidification and preservation packing, on other
hand are crucial in prolonging the shelf life of dry foods and processed foods. By reducing
the moisture content and sealing the product in a protective packing, the quality of the food
is preserved, ensuring it does not deteriorate during transportation and consumption. A good
example of this vacuum-packed coffee. After roasting, coffee beans are regular vacuum
lifespan of various food products but also ensure the nutritional value is retained, enhancing
the overall food’s quality available to consumers.

Comment
● Content editor: The content is explored with two main ideas: the freezing method
and the packaging method with preservation bags have been developed and clarified.
However, this passage faces two problems. First, the proof examples are too general
and not specific. Second, exploit the second main idea to strengthen the long line of
the paragraph.

● Connector: The paragraph is well connected but does not have significant continuity
and causes certain consolidation in the second main idea. Therefore, it is proposed to
eliminate the main idea - the method of preserving using storage bags for dry food.
Instead, UV light has proven to be an effective preservation method. This method has
been applied in preserving mixed foods to sterilize meat and milk to avoid
microorganisms

Finally, one of the most outcomes of science is the development of modern food preservation
techniques, contributing to the advancement of clean food production technology. For
instance, using UV ray treatment techniques for food preservation. Using UV light for food
sterilization helps improve food safety, extend shelf life, prevent foodborne illness, control
insects, and even slow down the premature sprouting of potatoes and onions. Meat processing
and packaging facilities use UV lamps during the food sterilization process, both on the
conveyor belt that meat passes through and on the packing containers. In the dairy industry,
UV sterilization is common, especially when packaging fresh products like milk, cheese, and
yogurt. For the frozen food industry, UV sterilization systems help eliminate the potential
harmful microorganisms to ensure better food quality and safety.

● Vocabulary checker: The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic of food
preservation. However, there are some minor issues with clarity and precision. For
instance, the phrase “ creation of freezing” could be clarified to “ the invention of
freezing” could be clarified to “ the invention of freezing” or “ the development of
freezing technology”. Additionally, the sentence “ Dehumidification and preservation
packing , on other hand are crucial.. “ could be clearer if written as “ On the other
hand, dehumidification and preservation packing are crucial … “
 ● Grammar checker: The grammar is overall correct, with no major errors detected
and proper use of punctuation.

In conclusion
In conclusion, the integration of science into food production and consumption has brought
about both positive advancements and challenges. Each scientific innovation like GMOs
brings both benefits as increased food yields and enhance safety, preserved foods method
prolong more than previous time, yet concerns persist regarding health risks, humanarity
producing, even environmental impacts. Despite these challenges, scientific intervention
remains crucial part and plays extremely outstanding positive impacts in addressing global
security needs as highlighted by projections of future food demand. However, effective
regulation and ethical considerations are imperative to mitigate potential negative
consequences. Balancing the pros and cons of scientific advancements requires careful
monitoring and responsible decision-making. Ultimately, while science has significantly
reshaped the food industry, ensuring a sustainable and healthy food system requires a
nuanced approach that priorities both innovation and precaution.

Comment
● Content editor: Some points are not fully developed and detailed. For example,
although the paragraph discusses the challenges and benefits of integrating science
into food production and consumption, it does not delve into the specifics of each
particular challenge or how the benefits are realized.
● Connector: While some connectors such as "In conclusion," "However," and
"Ultimately," are used, there is not a complete or cohesive structure in connecting
ideas. Transitions between ideas are not always smooth, and some points are not
logically connected. There is also repetition of connectors, failing to create diversity
in expression.
● Vocabulary checker: Some terms are not used accurately or are unclear. For
example, "humanarity producing" is not a common phrase and lacks a specific
meaning. There needs to be diversity in vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance
the text's attractiveness.

· Grammar checker: There are some grammatical errors such as missing or incorrect
punctuation, as well as inappropriate use of punctuation. For example, "enhance
safety, preserved foods method prolong more than previous time" needs adjustment
for grammatical accuracy like “ Enhancing safety, the method of preserving foods
prolongs their shelf life compared to previous methods”.

After checking and fixing carefully, this is our final essay:

Science has brought about many breakthroughs that have improved human life, especially in the field
of food technology. Some notable positive effects of science on the food we eat include the creation
of genetically modified crops, 3D technology methods, and modern food preservation techniques.
These advancements not only address issues of population growth and environmental pollution but
also help saving-time and human resources.
Scientific advancements have considerably contributed to escalation of food production. The advent
of GMOs Genetically Modified Organisms has led to the creation of current crops which are resistant
to pests, diseases, and harsh habitat conditions, thereby increasing yield. It is most notable that
scientists apply GMOs to create foods with certain superior nutritional properties. Taking Golden
Rice ( PSBRCc 82) and Golden Rice ( NSIC 283 ) for typically instance,they are the new rice
varieties that were genetically modified to produce beta-carotene which is a precursor to vitamin A.
They help children around the world avoid the risk of vitamin A deficiency, respiratory disease,
diarrhea, measles, and night blindness. More familiar with our daily meals , all raw material food such
as soya beans, corn, sugar beets, tomatoes, potatoes,... were modified to gain greater nutritional,
quantities, capacities, defense disease, and eventually bring lookouts more eye-catching.

Another positive effect is 3D technology method, which is outstanding advantage. Firstly, the 3D
technology method helps save time and human resources from farming to processing. For example, to
complete one hamburger, it often takes from 1 to 2 months, excluding the transportation process. In
construct, by utilizing the 3D technology method, we can create a finished hamburger in just 30
minutes to one hour. Secondly, when using and consuming the final product created by the 3D printer,
it retains the essential nutrients and core flavors of real food. Additionally, consumers are able to
adjust the amount of nutrition suitable for them. For instance, for individuals with high blood
pressure, we can simply indicate their dietary restrictions, and the 3D printer will use less salt and
grease for the final product. Therefore, implementing the 3D printer method in food technology can
save time, human resources, and mitigate environmental pollution issues, without compromising the
nutritional value and flavor of the food.

Finally, one of the most outcomes of science is the development of modern food preservation
techniques, contributing the advancement of clean food production technology. For instance, using
UV ray treatment techniques for food preservation. Using UV light for food sterilization helps
improve food safety, extend shelf life, prevent foodborne illness, control insects, and even slow down
the premature sprouting of potatoes and onions. Meat processing and packaging facilities use UV
lamps during the food sterilization process, both on the conveyor belt that meat passes through and on
the packing containers. In the dairy industry, UV sterilization is common, especially when packaging
fresh products like milk, cheese, and yogurt. For the frozen food industry, UV sterilization systems
help eliminate the potential harmful microorganisms to ensure better food quality and safety.

In conclusion, the integration of science into the production and consumption of food has brought
many positive advancements. Genetically modified foods with higher productivity and better
resilience have supported agricultural development and reduced poverty and hunger globally. 3D
technology methods have saved time and human resources from farming to processing. New
preservation methods have extended the shelf life of preserved food, thereby reinforcing food
distribution. However, significant challenges and concerns persist regarding environmental pollution,
health risks, food safety, and other issues. Most importantly, there is a need to balance the benefits
and risks of scientific advancements. Achieving this requires careful monitoring and responsible
decision-making, not only from governments but also from individuals.

CHECK ĐẠO VĂN