Marriage Preparation Inventory

This questionnaire is designed to help identify strengths and potential trouble-spots in your
relationship. Most of the questions have no “right” answers. The important thing is for you to
state clearly and honestly your perceptions in each case. Rest assured that the contents of this
document will be treated with utmost confidentiality.

Instructions:
(1) Fill out your individual questionnaire. Do not talk to each other about your answers
until after you have each filled out your own questionnaire.
(2) After you have each finished your individual questionnaires, be sure to talk through the
inventory together before you come for your first session. The pastor conducting your
pre-marital counseling is the only other person who will read your responses.
(3) Don’t forget to turn it in to your pastor about a week before your first premarital session.

A. GENERAL INFORMATION
Your name Birth date Age

Local Address

Cell Phone Land line email

Occupation Schooling Completed

Wedding Date, Type and Events

How long have you been a member of FFCI?

If not a member, where do you attend worship service (name and location)?

Brief summary of circumstances for meeting and dating

Why are you excited to marry your fiancé(e)?

B. GENDER ROLES IN MARRIAGE

2. In what ways were your parents a good or poor example of biblical leadership and

submission in a marriage?

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 3. For the man: What are your fears, struggles, or concerns in learning to lead your future

wife?

4. For the woman: What are your fears, struggles, or concerns in learning to submit to your

future husband?

C. DEALING WITH STRESS

2. Where do you find refuge/safety/comfort/security when you are stressed?

3. How would you like your fiancé(e) to help you fight stress?

D. YOUR FAMILY BACKGROUNDS

convinced that you wanted to be married? (approximate date)

2. Indicate your parents’ attitude toward your fiancé(e):

 Total acceptance  Acceptance with reservations  Disapproval

3. How do you perceive your prospective in-laws’ attitude toward you:

 Total acceptance  Acceptance with reservations  Disapproval

4. Are both parents living? (if not, date of death)

Are parents living together? (if not, date of separation)

Number and gender of siblings

Birth Order

Hometown

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 Father’s occupation

Mother’s occupation

Family’s church affiliation

Degree of church involvement

Depth of Christian commitment

5. In what ways are you alike or different from your father or mother? How will you

consciously work to be different from them?

Father:

Mother:

6. Have you been in any other relationship that you thought would lead to marriage?

If so, what happened?

7. Describe the marriage you have observed which you most want yours to resemble:

8. List the strengths of your parents’ marriage that you most want to experience in your

own.

9. What weaknesses in your parents’ marriage do you wish to avoid?

E. PERSONALITY AND TEMPERAMENT

and “W” for the woman; “B” for both; “N” for no one):

The extrovert The listener The planner

The introvert The thinker The procrastinator

The talker The doer The pouter

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 The shouter The home-body More cautious

The optimist The party-person More spontaneous

The pessimist Neater More organized

The night person Messier More manipulative

The morning person More ambitious More compliant

The spender More complacent More analytical

The saver More punctual More emotional

The leader More tardy More happy

The follower More easy-going More depressed

The helper More quick-tempered

The artist More impulsive

2. List some of your fiancé(e)’s characteristics which are most attractive to you:

3. List some of your fiancé(e)’s traits, habits or mannerisms do you at least occasionally

find irritating?

4. On the lines below, indicate the relative levels of maturity which you think you and

your fiancé(e) have reached respectively as compared with your age group (On each line

place an “M” for the man and a “W” for the woman at the appropriate spot)

Immature Mature

Emotionally

Intellectually

Socially

Spiritually

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

5. In which areas would you like your fiancé(e) to help you improve yourself?

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 6. In which areas would you like to help your fiancé(e) improve?

7. Name a few significant life events (good and bad) that have significantly shaped you?

F. YOUR COMMUNICATION
1. Are you an:

 External processor (you tend to verbalize things before you think them through)

 Internal processor (you tend to think things through before you verbalize them)

2. What are the key components to an apology?

3. Are you quick or slow to apologize? If slow, why?

4. Indicate how each of you tends to express the following feelings. On each line place an

“M” for the man and a “W” for the woman at the appropriate spot.

Internalize Internalize, then verbalize Verbalize Quickly

Anger

Disappointment

Frustration

Guilt

Joy

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

5. What do you usually fight about and when do you usually fight?

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 6. How do you try to resolve conflict with your fiancé(e)?

7. List one or two communication struggles that have been harmful for your relationship

with your fiancé(e). Describe why it has hurt the relationship; what you need to do to

change this pattern; and, how your fiancé(e) can help.

8. List one or two of your fiancé(e)’s greatest communication strengths and list them here.

Explain briefly why you picked them

G. YOUR RELATIONSHIP
1. List the most significant interests you share in common.

2. What are some of the relational strengths that you can bring to the marriage?

3. What do you consider to be your weaknesses as a prospective marriage partner?

4. State honestly any fears, concerns, or apprehensions you feel about your anticipated

marriage.

5. How do you intend to deal with these concerns?

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 6. What are some matters about which the two of you have different opinions?

7. Are there any areas in which you are struggling to trust your fiancé(e)?

H. YOUR SEXUALITY
1. Are you a virgin?

2. If you are not a virgin, how would you describe your previous sexual experiences?

 Numerous  Rare  Destructive  Abusive  Other

3. Do you sometimes feel guilty about the sexual involvement you have had with your

fiancé(e)?

4. What are you doing to protect yourself from sexual temptation?

I. YOUR FAITH
1. Describe yourself relationship with God.

2. In what ways do you struggle to trust, follow, love God?

3. What are the main influences that have shaped your relationship with God?

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 4. How does your expression of your faith differ from that of your fiancé(e)?

5. As you see it, how does a Christian marriage differ from any other?

6. How do you expect to cultivate your faith together after you are married?

7. How can you help your spouse to grow spiritually?

8. What would you like for him/her to say in answer to the previous question?

9. After marriage, where do you plan to attend worship services?

J. YOUR FINANCES
1. Which of you has had more experience in managing finances?

2. Who will manage your family finances?

3. Do you have a tentative budget?

4. Will the wife be employed after you are married? If so, are the reasons

primarily financial or commitment to a career ?

5. After marriage, do you plan to merge your bank accounts?

6. If you answer “no” to question #5, then please explain:

7. Do you have any concern in how your fiancé(e) handles his/her finances? If so, explain.

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8. In which areas would you say that your fiancé(e) might spend money frivolously?

9. In which areas do you think he/she might be too frugal?

10. Indicate relative inclinations to spend money in the following areas (“M” for man, “W”

for woman at the appropriate spot).

Least likely Most Likely

New Clothes

Hobbies, recreation

Automobile

Books, magazine

Movies, concert

Music Equipment

Home furnishings

Groceries

Eating out

Entertaining guests

Gift for spouse

Gift for others

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 Vacations

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

K. FUTURE (Children, Birth Control, Forgiveness)

2. How soon would you like to have children? How many?

3. What form of birth control do you expect to use?

4. What do you intend to do to stay in love?

5. Have you ever struggled with forgiving someone? If so, give an example:

6. If your answer to #7 was “yes,” how can you prevent this from ever happening with

your fiancé(e)?

7. In regards to the future, what do you tend to worry about?

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