Mr. Weir. OET LETTER Assessment

Dr.
M McLaren
Neurologist
Suite 3,67 The Cresent
Newton
09 September 2014
Dear Dr . McLaren
Re:Mr.Michael Weir
DOB:20 September 1970
I am writing to refer Mr.Weir, 44-years-old, real estate agent, whose clinical features are suggestive of
multiple sclerosis, for MRI and further management
1. Do you read the word “management” anywhere in the prompt? No. The purpose of referral
is for full neurological assessment, including an MRI
Mr.Weir is married and has 03 children. His weight is above the normal limit, and he smokes as well. He has
been taking Zoloft since 2012
1. How much is the weight about the normal limit? However, if you had written “obese,” it
would be more appropriate.
Initially on 29/06/2014, he had presented with complaints of stress and tiredness. His BMI was 27.8, and the
rest of examination was insignificant. He was scheduled for a review after 01 week with CBC and lipid profile
report. Subsequently after a week, he reported weakness in left leg in addition to previous symptoms. His BMI
had increased and the rest of examination was unremarkable. Kindly note, he was taking Zoloft regularly.
Test results revealed elevated cholesterol, low Hb and HCT, and low RBC and WBC count. Therefore, he was
advised to modify diet, quit smoking, reduce weight, and review after a month.
1. He—at the first instance in a paragraph, always use the patient’s name.
2. For the investigation findings, you could also have written “anemia and low WBC count”
3. There is a mechanical flow to this paragraph rather than an actual, cohesive and coherent
one.
4. Didn’t he have low BP readings?
On…Mr. Weir had has initially complained of………… ….However, his examination was unremarkable apart
from low systolic blood pressure and raised BMI (…); and was therefore advised CBC and serum cholesterol
levels. On the follow up visit a week later, the reports had revealed raised serum cholesterol (value), anemia, and
decreased WBC count. He now also complained of weakness in his left leg in addition to the previous symptoms
not having improved. He had gained weight as well (BMI..), and systolic blood pressure was still low.
Consequently, he was advised…..
OR
Mr. Weir had visited me twice earlier for a persistent feeling of being run -down, fatigue and tiredness; and later
developing weakness in his …. His systolic blood pressure readings had been low, and he had steadily gained
weight as well. Relevant investigations that were carried out had revealed elevated cholesterol levels (value) as
well as anemia and decreased WBC count. Consequently, lifestyle modifications and eating of a healthy balanced
diet had been advised; however, his symptoms did not improve.
On today’s review, Mr.Weir’s previous symptoms had still not improved; additionally, he complained
of has visited with complaints of dizziness, mood swings, tingling in hands and breathlessness along with
previous symptoms despite of following all the recommendations. On examination (comma) loss of
sensations on both hands, diminished left patellar reflex along with a (comma) and a mild reduction in
weight was noted. CT of head and lumbar spine were requested to determine the cause.
1. The ending is very plain
2. Refer to the sample body paragraphs at the end of the assessment report.
In the light of above, Mr.Weir's condition warrants a specialist level care. It would be greatly appreciated if
you could arrange a MRI and manage him accordingly.
1. Could arrange an MRI—there is a question mark with MRI, which means that “MRI if
needed,” and that’s not the same as what you have written.
2. Manage—again, not the purpose of referral
Should there be any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Yours sincerely
Doctor
Remarks:
1. Purpose—got it wrong for the most part
2. Organization and Layout—while there is a logical sequence to everything in the letter, there is a
mechanical flow than an actual one.
3. Content—most of the relevant details have been covered, but the read doesn’t feel like that of a story
where different events are forwarded in the story line in a cohesive and coherent fashion. There is a
rigidity in your writing
4. Conciseness and Clarity—word count is slightly high, but that’s expected with extensive case notes.
No major concerns related to clarity
5. Genre and Style—has been fine in general
6. Language—improve the range of complex sentences.
Estimated Grade: C+
Mr. Weir has experienced a progressive worsening of symptoms over the last two months. He has been
complaining of a persistent feeling of being run-down, tired, and exhausted. However, symptoms he reports today
are more concerning, including weakness in his leg, dizziness, breathlessness, tingling sensations in the hands,
and two recent episodes of black-outs, each lasting for a few minutes. On examination, his blood pressure is also
low (value), and there is a loss of sensation to sharp and blunt objects in both hands, and a diminished left
patellar reflex.
Mr Weir’s blood pressure readings had been low on all his previous visits as well, but the rest of the examination
had been unremarkable. His laboratory investigations had revealed raised cholesterol levels, anemia, and
decreased WBC count. Lifestyle modifications, including….. had been advised to follow; however, despite his
adherence to the advices, his symptoms failed to improve.
Given the above, head and lumbar CT have been advised to determine the cause of Mr. Weir’s symptoms.
However, he would benefit more from a full neurological assessment and potentially an MRI under your care.
Your assistance in this regard is requested.

Mr. Weir. OET LETTER Assessment

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Dr.

Suite 3,67 The Cresent

DOB:20 September 1970

4. Didn’t he have low BP readings?

1. The ending is very plain

2. Manage—again, not the purpose of referral

Should there be any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

5. Genre and Style—has been fine in general

6. Language—improve the range of complex sentences.

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