Contemporary Psychoanalysis: To Cite This Article: Harold N. Boris (1986) The "Other" Breast, Contemporary
Contemporary Psychoanalysis: To Cite This Article: Harold N. Boris (1986) The "Other" Breast, Contemporary
Contemporary Psychoanalysis: To Cite This Article: Harold N. Boris (1986) The "Other" Breast, Contemporary
Contemporary Psychoanalysis
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HAROLD Ν. BORIS
Introduction
"I CAN IMAGINE AN INFANT", I s o m e t i m e s feel it necessary to say,
"held to two a m p l e milky b r e a s t s — y e t starving o u t of t h e p a i n o f
losing e i t h e r , by c h o o s i n g t h e o n e . "
T h a t this r e m a r k d o e s n o t g o d o w n well (at least at first) can
easily b e i m a g i n e d . T h e individuals t o w h o m I m a k e it feel d e
prived, e m p t y . T h e idea of a b u n d a n c e is decidedly my own. I n
d e e d my r e m a r k seems to t h e m only to validate t h e i r e x p e r i e n c e :
Is a c o m m e n t like t h a t s u p p o s e d to h e l p ?
A n d yet, I feel p e r s u a d e d t h a t it d o e s — t h a t a l o n g t i m e a g o , as
now in t h e t r a n s f e r e n c e , t h e r e was a g r e e d so g r e a t as to fail se
curely to m e t a m o r p h o s e into a p p e t i t e . H a d it d o n e so, s u c h satis
factions as a r e available t o t h e a p p e t i t e s m i g h t h a v e consoled e v e n
c o m p e n s a t e d for t h e loss of t h e " o t h e r " breast. B u t in failing to
give over into a p p e t i t e , t h e g r e e d , in its very n a t u r e insatiable a n d
unsatisfiable, left a s e q u e n c e of c o n s e q u e n c e s t h a t t h e analysis has
s o m e h o w to p u t right.
I n w h a t follows I shall a t t e m p t to describe these c o n s e q u e n c e s
a n d t h e m a t t e r of h e l p i n g p u t t h e m right. B u t in d o i n g so I shall
b e v e n t u r i n g o n t o t h e t r e a c h e r o u s shoals o f originology o n which
psychoanalysis so often f o u n d e r s .
I n t h e c o n s u l t i n g r o o m a r e m a r k such as m i n e a b o u t t h e infant
a n d the breasts can b e t a k e n e i t h e r (or both) as m e t a p h o r o r con
struction of historical e x p e r i e n c e . Its validity is m o o t ; only its use
fulness m a t t e r s . If I say it, f o r e x a m p l e , t o s o m e o n e w h o is o b
sessing w h e t h e r this o r w h e t h e r t h a t is t h e case, I a m d o i n g so to
refract t h e d i s a p p o i n t m e n t t h e p a t i e n t w o u l d feel w e r e e i t h e r t h e
case a n d t h e fear h e w o u l d feel if n e i t h e r w e r e t h e c a s e — a s if a n
45
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Contemporary Psychoanalysis, Vol. 22, No. I (1986)
HAROLD Ν. BORIS
46
THE "OTHER" BREAST
o f t h e j a r , " F o r t h w i t h t h e r e e s c a p e d a m u l t i t u d e o f p l a g u e s for
hapless m a n — s u c h as g o u t a n d r h e u m a t i s m a n d colic for his b o d y
a n d envy, spite a n d r e v e n g e for his m i n d . " O n l y h o p e r e m a i n e d
in this collection of " n o x i o u s articles".
H o p e , as I s h o w e d in t h a t p a p e r , involves at t h e c o r e of it, a
disposition t o w a r d chosiness which is t h e necessary c o u n t e r p a r t t o
t h e availability of choices. I r e l a t e d this to selectivity, as t h a t c o n c e p t
is used in evolutionary biology: C r e a t u r e s , m a t i n g , c h o o s e a n d a r e
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chosen, n o t at r a n d o m o r by p r o p i n q u i t y , b u t in s u c h a way as
selectively to p e r p e t u a t e t h e "best" (fittest) a m o n g t h e g e n e pool
down the generations.
I n this process t h e r e is at w o r k a p r e c o n c e p t i o n c o n c e r n i n g what
"better" consists in (the p l u m a g e of t h e tail, t h e size of t h e t e r r i t o r y ,
t h e r a n k in t h e social h i e r a r c h y ) t h a t interlocks with t h e predilec-
d o n to choose t h e "better". T h e p r o c r e a t i v e d r i v e , for e x a m p l e , is
not t r i g g e r e d until p r e c o n c e p t i o n a n d predilection a r e satisfied.
As I observed, " t h e inhibition o f t h e p r o c r e a t i v e d r i v e p e n d i n g t h e
a p p r o x i m a t i o n of t h e object t o t h e ' p r e c o n c e p t i o n ' paradoxically
facilitates t h e release of t h e drive. T h a t is, t h e r e a d i e r a n d m o r e
assured t h e capacity n o t to c h o o s e A, t h e easier a n d q u i c k e r t h e
capacity to c h o o s e B. M a t t e r s r e m a i n , t h e n , in a state of p o t e n t i a l —
awaiting t h e right c o n d i t i o n s . T h a t t h e r e a r e o r will b e t h e " r i g h t "
conditions is t h e s o u r c e of h o p e . T h a t t h e r e a r e n ' t n o r will b e is
the s o u r c e of hopelessness a n d d e s p a i r . Yet, as Bion ( 1 9 6 1 , p . 1 5 1 -
152) notes, "only by r e m a i n i n g a h o p e d o e s h o p e persist." T h u s
h o p e , like t h e g r e e d of which it f o r m s a p a r t , is p e r f o r c e o r i e n t e d
to t h e potential. W h i l e (as Francis B a c o n n o t e d ) it m a k e s a g o o d
breakfast, it m a k e s a p o o r s u p p e r .
F o r t h e fussy (read, choosy) baby t h e d e v o l u t i o n of all of t h e
foregoing is this: It wants a b r e a s t to feed f r o m , b u t it also n e e d s
the " r i g h t " breast. T h e first b r e a s t m a y n o t b e t h e r i g h t breast, so
it m u s t n ' t accept that. B u t if t h e " o t h e r " breast is also n o t t h e
"right" breast, it will h a v e s p e n t its m a t r i m o n y . T h e way o u t of
such a plight is to avoid p o t e n t i a t i n g choice, by accepting n o t h i n g ,
u s i n g u p n o t h i n g , while awaiting e v e r y t h i n g .
T h e r e a d e r m a y object ( a n d , in m y o p i n i o n q u i t e p r o p e r l y so)
that I a m i m p u t i n g to t h e infant a sophistication it could n o t pos
sibly have. I n fact, I s h o u l d like t o r e g a r d t h e infant as d e c i d e d l y
u n s o p h i s t i c a t e d — b u t , all t h e s a m e , h e i r to p r o g r a m m a t i c i m p e r
atives, d a r k u r g e s , it can n e i t h e r f a t h o m n o r yet i g n o r e , i m p e r a t i v e s
47
HAROLD Ν. BORIS
these to b e b o t h i n c h o a t e a n d i n c o h e r e n t a n d , as such, p e r s e c u t o r y
in t h e e x t r e m e . I e x p e c t this e x p e r i e n c e to r e o c c u r in t h e t r a n s
f e r e n c e a t t h e j u n c t u r e b e t w e e n g r e e d a n d a p p e t i t e . I like t o
imagine t h a t if I can identify t h e nameless, faceless players for t h e
p e o p l e in w h o m t h e r e o c c u r e n c e is t a k i n g place they can replace
choosiness with choice, w h e r e they c o u l d n ' t b e f o r e without feeling
hopeless villains, d o o m e d always to b e in the w r o n g .
I want n o w to distinguish b e t w e e n g r e e d as potential a n d p o t e n
tiated g r e e d . T h e f o r m e r is free of frustration. It c o n t a i n s t h e
fantasy of all-is-one a n d a t - o n e m e n t . It is a d r e a m b e y o n d t h e
d r e a m s of avarice. It g e n e r a t e s e x c i t e m e n t a n d bliss. It is a state
in which t h e infant (later child o r adult) has t e m p o r a r i l y u n d i s
covered t h e o t h e r a n d h a s n ' t t o c o n t e n d with t h e possibility of a
j u x t a p o s i t i o n b e t w e e n a p p e t i t e a n d breast. T h i s state lasts as l o n g
as the infant wants n o t h i n g f r o m t h e breast, w h e r e u p o n it b e c o m e s
p o t e n t i a t e d a n d serenity is r e p l a c e d by a frustration as large as all
t h e world.
48
THE "OTHER" BREAST
' For a consideration of the force of supposed-to's in group situations, see Boris,
et al, 1975. The "Group" has special resonance to species-oriented fantasy.
49
HAROLD Ν. BORIS
50
THE "OTHER" BREAST
51
HAROLD Ν. BORIS
2 These are the circumstances of which Melanie Klein wrote in her "Notes on
some schizoid mechanisms" (1946) and her book Envy and Gratitude (1957), and of
course her other works.
3 For an elaboration of this observation, see Boris 1984a and 1984b.
52
THE "OTHER" BREAST
in t h e a t t i t u d e b e y o n d t h e s e w o r d s , a n d u n d e r n e a t h t h e g r e e d t h e
fear of t h e p a i n of t h e loss o f e i t h e r of t h e " b r e a s t s " these w o r d s
straddle.
Spite can d o its w o r k of r e n d e r i n g t h e object i m p o t e n t , in fantasy
o r fact, w i t h o u t r e q u i r i n g t h e s h e e r p o w e r r e q u i r e d for r e v e n g e .
F r o m infancy o n o n e can "cut" a n o t h e r m e r e l y by l o o k i n g p a s t
him; e v e n easier is c u t t i n g w h a t B i o n (1967) called t h e link in
k n o w l e d g e — o f stimulus a n d r e s p o n s e . P e o p l e with t h o u g h t dis
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53
HAROLD Ν. BORIS
Analytic Considerations
T h e task of t h e analysis, of c o u r s e , is to m a k e it possible, this
time r o u n d , for t h e individual to d e v e l o p a p p e t i t e . W e gain t h e
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54
THE "OTHER" BREAST
r e i n t e r p r e t e d ) history of t h e p e r s o n , r e s e r v i n g r e c o n s t r u c d o n for
the process of h e l p i n g t h e p a t i e n t r e g a i n k n o w l e d g e of n o t only
what h e e x p e r i e n c e d b u t t h e events conjoining his e x p e r i e n c e s . My
r e m a r k c o n c e r n i n g starvation a n d a m p l e breasts is a n e x a m p l e of
s u c h a c o n s t r u c t i o n : It r e f e r s t o a n u n h a p p e n e d e v e n t — t o a
psychic e v e n t — a state o f m i n d — r a t h e r t h a n to a n i n t e r p e r s o n a l
o n e — a state of affairs. T h e p a t i e n t will c o m e — i t m a y b e — t o rec
ognize w h a t I m e a n w h e n t h a t s a m e state of m i n d c o m e s i n t o b e i n g
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It is coining to summer break time and the eight-year old says that he,
in his persona as a Norwegian water rat, and the gerbil, who he also is
sometimes, and Herman, the hooded cobra, who he never "is", but whose
exploits he enacts with great admiration, are going on an around-the-world
cruise in the QE-2 with their band, which consists of Madonna, Bruce
Springsteen, Michael Jackson, etc.
He says: "You and Baby Jane can come too." Baby Jane is nominally my
daughter, but generally a very greedy, envious and Jealous creature: a
split-off from, variously, himself and myself.
I say: "Thank you. But Baby Jane is wondering why she is invited. Is
she to be part of everything or is she to be the greedy creature that wants
everything."
55
HAROLD Ν. BORIS
to be the greedy creature so you can be the generous ones who have
everything good inside of you?"
He says: "You don't have to worry, Baby Jane, you'll have a good time."
I say: "You don't like me to talk about you, yourself, wanting every
thing."
1 say: "Everything would include me inside of it, and you don't want to
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know about wanting me. The QE-2 is like a dream of being inside every
thing good and then having Cindy and Rick and Michael as your insides."
1 say: "I think you are wanting to collect very good experiences because
you are worried that when we are apart you will collect hurts and injustices
and nurse on all your grievances."
He says: "I'll nurse on you if you don't shut up." He is very excited here
and it is plain that he is contemplating biting me: Would it be an appetitive
love bite out of the same wish to have me shut up and play or a bite of
envy at my self-containment?
A second illustradon:
The room is chilly, but there is an afghan. The young woman says, "It's
chilly in here. Or is it?"
She says: "I could take the afghan, I suppose. But perhaps that would
be acting-out. Perhaps I should free-associate to being cold—if it is cold—
or to the afghan. Or something. I don't know." [Silence]
I say: "1 don't know if there is a choice. I don't want to know. 1 don't
want to choose. I hate certainty. Maybe associations are better than warmth
or warmth better than associations: I want the better one. No, no I want
both."
S o m e m o n t h s a g o t h e silence w o u l d h a v e c o n t i n u e d a n d I w o u l d
h a v e n e e d e d to talk o f t h e " g r e e d y g u z z l i n g o f g o o d b r e a s t of
g r i e v a n c e " . N o w t h e silence c o n t i n u e s , d u r i n g which I i m a g i n e this
y o u n g w o m a n is w a i t i n g for m e t o say s o m e s u c h t h i n g a g a i n — o r
for m e to say s o m e t h i n g m o r e , b e t t e r , d i f f e r e n t . B u t I d o n o t . If
I did I imagine she would immediately become further occupied
with w h a t I w a n t — f o r h e r t o associate? t o t a k e t h e a f g h a n ? to ask
56
THE "OTHER" BREAST
A young man, also in his thirties, has been speaking of how wretched
he feels having succumbed (as it feels) to an invitation to dinner and
thereby lost the opportunity to work during that interval. As I well know,
he works at least eighteen hours of every twenty-four, as it is.
As he talks I begin to get the idea that he is getting the idea that he is
telling me this for a reason: that the communication exists within the
transference, quite probably that / am the dinner. He begins to falter,
calling what he has been saying "drivel".
I: [SUence]
He says: "I felt you were thinking 'Well, if he feels he ought to work
why does he go out or if he goes out why does he go on and on about
how he should have been working?' "
57
HAROLD Ν. BORIS
He says: "I can't stand it!" He smashes the kleenex box with his fist.
I say: "I am not supposed to return the knowledge to you?" Then: "Why
is the kleenex there?"
1 say: "I don't know. It's possible. I suppose the question is, by whom?"
He says: "You are thinking that I say Ί guess' and 'by myself because
I don't want to give the devil his due."
I say: "You must feel tormented by my always thinking this or that about
you. On the other hand, you are careful not to think it of yourself Bad
as the 'about is', it is better than 'of. Will this become, I wonder, another
thinking I will be doing about you?"
I say: "With two sets of thoughts, yours and mine, what's to cry about?"
Such a c o n j u n c t i o n — s y n t h e s i s , i n t e g r a t i o n of t r u t h s - a b o u t into
the-truth-of, as g l e a n e d from investigation, n o t assertion, r e p r e
sents a m o v e m e n t f r o m p r o l i f e r a t i o n to choice: from g r e e d to a p
petite. I t h i n k it is a p p r o a c h e d — a s in t h e first i l l u s t r a t i o n — o r d o e s
n o t t a k e p l a c e — a s in t h e s e c o n d — o r d o e s t a k e p l a c e — i n t h e
t h i r d — i n a series o f little events, o f small e n c o u n t e r s . W h e n t h e
anxiedes h a v e b e e n i d e n t i f i e d — d i f f e r e n t i a t i n g those arising from
the genetic imperatives, later e l a b o r a t e d into t h e s u p e r - e g o , f r o m
those arising f r o m t h e t h r e a t o f t h e force of t h e conjunction be
tween desire a n d object, which m i g h t lead to a p p e t i t e , a n d those
from t h e anxieties g e n e r a t e d f r o m a fear of c o u n t e r - a t t a c k — t h e
g r o u n d w o r k is laid f o r c o n s t r u c t i o n . I d o n o t m u c h illustrate con
structions as s u c h h e r e b e c a u s e t h e e n d r e c o m m u n i c a t i o n is, es
sentially, a c o n s t r u c t i o n . I n a n y c a s e , t h e a n a l y s a n d u l t i m a t e l y
m a k e s t h e b e t t e r c o n s t r u c t i o n s ; o n e ' s o w n a r e b u t t h e scaffolding
and the armature.
58
THE "OTHER" BREAST
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Boris, H. N., Zinberg, N. E., Boris, M. (1975) Fantasies in group situations. Contem
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Boris, H. N. (1976) On hope: its nature and psychotherapy. International Revue of
Psycho-Analysis, 3:139-150.
Boris, H. N. (1984) On the problem of anorexia nervosa. International Journal of
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8 Warren Street
L e x i n g t o n , Massachusetts 0 2 1 7 3
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