QUEST NS

What do you hope What skill would you

never changes? like to master?

What do you wish you What are you most likely

knew more about? to become famous for?

What’s something Where would you spend all

you like to do the your time if you could?
old-fashioned way?

What’s the luckiest thing that

What habit bothers
has happened to you?
you?

If you didn’t have to When people come to you

sleep, what would you for help what do they usual-
do with the extra time? ly want help with?

What do you take for If you could change one

granted? thing about your day,
what would that be?

What’s something scary

What’s the strangest thing
that you would try at
you have come across?
least once?

If you could grow any- What is your favorite

thing in the yard what restaurant?
would it be?
 Name a song you What’s your favorite
really like. sport?

What’s your favorite What’s your favorite

cereal? f ruit?

What is/was your What is your favorite

favorite subject in drink?
school?

What is your favorite DIsney What is your favorite holi-

sidekick creature or animal? day?

If you could go on a trip What is your favorite

to once place in the world movie?
where would it be?

What is your favorite kind What is your favorite

of flower? animal?

What is your favorite food? What is your favorite

treat/dessert?

What is your favorite What are you most

board game/card proud of?
game?

What brings you the What are you most

most joy? af raid of?

What is your favorite If you could switch places

thing to do when you with anyone in the world
have some f ree time? who would it be?
 FIXE D: GROWTH:

This is too hard. What am I missing?

I can’t do it. I’ll try a different strategy.
I don’t understand. This may take some time.
I give up. I am going to exercise my brain.
I made a mistake Mistakes help me learn.
I’ll never be as smart as them. I am going to figure this out.
I am not good at this. I will learn how to do this.
This is good enough. Is this my best work?

I N STE AD OF T HIS . .. SAY THI S:

This is too hard. This may take some time and effort.

It’s good enough. Is it really my best work?

It didn’t work! Good thing there are lots of ways to

solve a problem!

I am not good at this. What am I missing?

I can’t do any better. I can always improve so I’ll keep trying.

I made a mistake. Mistakes help me learn.

This is easy. I’m on the right track.

I’ll never be as smart as him. I’m going to figure out how he/she
does it so I can try.

I give up. I’ll try a different way.

 FOR YOUR KI D S

I N ST E AD OF T HIS . .. SAY TH I S:

You’re so smart. You’re a hard worker.

That was really hard. I’m glad you All of your hard work paid off. Next
don’t have to do that again. time you’ll be ready for this kind of
challenge.

You’re a natural! It was really clever the way you made

that happen.

You’re too little for that. I’ll help you practice.

No you can’t. What do you think?

What? You got a C! I know how much you studied for that
test. It was hard but you didn’t give
up.

These are the clothes I have set out for I love to see the outfits you create.
you.

That’s something you struggle with. Brains get stronger every day!

You made a mistake. Learning takes time and the path

won’t be straight. Mistakes are a part
of growing.
5 L VE LANGUAGES

QUIZ: Circle the statement that most accurately describes you (or your
kid) in each set.

1. I like to get kind notes and texts.

I like to be hugged.

2. I like to spend one-on-one time with people who are special to me.
I feel appreciated when someone gives me practical help.

3. I like it when kind words are spoken to me.

I like being with and doing activities with friends and family.

4. What someone does affects me more than what he or she says.

Hugs make me feel connected and valued.

5. I value praise and avoid criticism.

Several small gifts mean more to me than one large gift.

6. I feel close to someone when we are talking or doing something together.

I feel closer to friends or family when they touch me often.

7. I like when people compliment the things I do well.

I know people love me when they do things for me that they don’t like doing.

8. Kind words mean a lot to me.

I know someone loves me when he or she helps me.

9. I like to spend time with friends and family.

I like to receive little gifts from friends and family.

10. Gifts are symbols of love that are important to me.

I feel loved when people say nice things to me.

11. I feel loved when someone I’m close to puts an arm around me.
I feel loved when I receive a gift from someone I’m close to.

f r o m h t t p s : // w w w . 5 l o v e l a n g u a g e s . c o m /p r o fi l e / ? c h i l d # d i s c o v e r y - c h i l d
12. I like it when people give me gifts.
I really enjoy hanging out with people close to me.

13. I like when my friends and family greet me with a hug.

I like it when people listen to me and show genuine interest in what I’m saying.

14. I feel loved when friends and family help me with jobs or projects.
I really enjoy receiving gifts from friends and family.

15. I enjoy when people compliment my appearance.

I feel loved when people take time to understand my feelings.

16. I feel safe when someone close to me is touching me.

Acts of service make me feel loved.

17. I appreciate the many little things that people do for me.
I value gifts that people make for me.

18. I really like the experience of one-on-one, undivided attention.

I really enjoy it when someone does some act of service for me.

19. I feel loved when people touch me.

I feel loved when people do things to help me.

20. I like to receive a gift for my birthday.

I like when someone speaks meaningful words to me on my birthday.

21. I know someone is thinking of me when he or she gives me a gift.

I feel loved when someone helps me with my chores.

22. I like to go places with people I’m close to.

When I like someone, I make contact with the person (hug, shove, high five, etc.)

23. I like it when someone listens patiently and doesn’t interrupt me.
I like it when someone remembers special days with a gift.

24. I like knowing that people are concerned enough to help with my daily tasks.
I enjoy full-day adventures or trips with someone close to me.

f r o m h t t p s : // w w w . 5 l o v e l a n g u a g e s . c o m /p r o fi l e / ? c h i l d # d i s c o v e r y - c h i l d
25. Getting a kiss from a parent makes me feel loved.
Getting a gift for no special reason from a parent makes me feel loved.

26. I like to be told that I’m appreciated.

I like for people to look at me when we’re talking.

27. I like to sit close to people I enjoy being with.

I appreciate when someone tells me how attractive I am.

28. Gifts from people I’m close to are always special to me.
I feel good when someone I’m close to touches me.

29. I feel loved when someone enthusiastically does some task I’ve requested.
I feel loved when I’m told how much I’m appreciated.

30. I need to be touched every day.

I need words of affirmation every day.

PHYSICAL WORDS OF ACTS OF

QUALITY TIME GIFTS
TOUCH AFFIRMATION SERVICE

Total #: __ Total #: __ Total #: __ Total #: __ Total #: __

Primary Love Language:

Secondary Love Language:

t a k e t h e q u i z o n l i n e a t h t t p s : // w w w . 5 l o v e l a n g u a g e s . c o m /p r o -
fi l e / ? c h i l d # d i s c o v e r y - c h i l d
learn more about the 5 love languages in the renowned books by
Gary Chapman: The 5 Love Languages and the 5 Love Languages of
C h i l d r e n o r o n t h e w e b s i t e a t h t t p s : // w w w . 5 l o v e l a n g u a g e s . c o m /
 5 L VE LANGUAGES
WORDS OF GIFTS ACTS OF
PHYSICAL TOUCH QUALITY TIME
A F F I R M AT I O N SERVICE

clues that this might clues that this might clues that this might clues that this might clues that this might
be your kid: be your kid: be your kid: be your kid: be your kid:
is known as “the is fueled by praise, asks to tag along or loves presents and loves having your
snuggler ”, wants to show you stay up late with surprises, has a lot help, surprises you
loves being carried t h e t h i n g s h e /s h e you, wants you to of “special” things, by doing small
a n d /o r p h y s i c a l has done, loves to w a t c h w h i l e h e /s h e older kids may be household tasks for
rough-housing, talk and tells you performs, likes you particular about you, loves being
unintentionally too every detail of the to sit with them brands or certain given responsibility
rough with others day while they play fl a v o r s o r s m e l l s

enjoys: enjoys: enjoys: enjoys: enjoys:

sitting close, back talking, hearing you undivided attention, birthday presents, knowing that you’re
scratches, massages, g i v e s p e c i fi c being watched, surprise gifts, earn- available to help
physical activity detailed and rele- special time, tradi- ing a prize, having a when they need it;
such as wrestling or vant praise, learning tions, special winks, favorite meal made being thought of as
racing, cuddling things together, rituals or places to for them, a contributer;
blankets or lovies, giving and receiving talk that are unique collecting things, having special and
tickling notes, journaling to them surprising others unique skills

tips for tips for tips for tips for tips for
connection: connection: connection: connection: connection:
ask your kid what u s e s p e c i fi c a n d have a staring con- fi n d s p e c i a l t r e a - support them in
type of touch they genuine praise and test, cook together, sures together in their generous
love most, come up show that you notice go on a “ walk and nature, remember thoughts, clean up
with a secret hand- the details, talk”, play a favorite their favorite things, their room while
shake, make a ritual listen carefully when game, do a puzzle buy their favorite they’re gone, help
out of hair brushing they talk, leave together, involve snacks in your them with school
or applying lotion, encouraging notes, them in your every normal grocery run, work or practicing a
invite them to praise them in f ront day tasks, give a gift download a song new skill; when they
cuddle with you, of others when they of experience, make you know they love, make mistakes like
tousle their hair or can hear you, take space for special invite them to help forgetting lunch, tell
squeeze their shoul- videos of them to time in your regular you surprise some- them you are happy
der when you walk share with f riends routine one else help rather than
by and family complain or lecture
 AFTER SCHOOL CARDS
HUG + KISS PA P E R S O U T O F REFILL
B A C K PA C K W AT E R B OT T L E

WASH HANDS EMPTY GET A SNACK

LUNCHBOX
 S I M PL E WAYS TO F I N D J OY

giggles soft baby skin

dappled sunlight kid drawings
birds singing b u d d i n g fl o w e r s
shadows silly dance moves
funny movies playing make believe
fi n g e r p r i n t s the weight of a child’s
peaceful music body against yours
curious minds morning bed head
love notes family walks
trying something new slow mornings with no
a kind offering where to be
deep breaths rest
sunset k i d ’ s c h o i c e o u t fi t s
f resh cut grass movement
a silly song a moment to close your
f reshly brushed hair eyes
a wild imagination a long stretch
c o n fi d e n c e millions of different colors
playing in the dirt snuggly blankets
f resh clothes simple games
bubbles a good story
cozy pjs
f resh sheets
a soft pillow at the end of
a long day
a warm shower
a favorite candle
sun on your skin
crisp morning air
family dinner
the smell of a real book
the feel of bare feet in
grass
3 0 WAYS TO

IN UNDER A MINUTE

1. ask them a question about what 13. mimick their facial expressions
they’re doing 14. ask them to tell you a joke
2. whisper something to them like 15. sign “I love you” when you leave
it’s a secret
each other
3. make an inanimate object talk
16. write a note and put it on their
4. playful physical touch - pick pillow
them up, tickle them, squeeze
17. say what you see - “You love
them tight every time they try to
your blanket.”
talk
18. surprise them and do their
5. make up a secret code word
chore
6. talk with a funny accent
19. give a lingering hug
7. tell a story
20. create a special handshake
8. do something the wrong way on
21. challenge them to a leg wrestle
purpose (i.e. try to brush their teeth
with the wrong end of the tooth- 22. tuck them in bed
brush) 23. send them a gratitude text (if
9. invite them to do something they have a phone)
with you rather than telling them 24. tell someone else how amazing
to go do it themselves you think your child is (while
10. move at a different pace than he/she is in ear shot)
usual - super fast speed, slow 25. write in a shared journal
motion, marching, etc 26. have a staring contest
11. 30 second pretend play (i.e. 27. ask them to tell you about their
remember those flamingos at the artwork
aviary? Let’s see if we can pretend
28. call them by their nickname
we’re flamingos and see how long
we can stand on one foot) 29. set a funny scene in the toy
room with their toys
12. pretend anything is a treasure
hunt 30. put sprinkles on their food