2020-05-01-01-05-58-5 Ways To Always Be The Most Interesting Person in The Room

5 WAYS TO ALWAYS BE THE MOST
INTERESTING PERSON IN THE ROOM

5 WAYS TO ALWAYS BE
THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON IN THE ROOM
We all know those people who seem to

effortlessly garner attention. They easily
command a crowd and seem to shine in
any social or professional gathering.
What’s the secret? Are some people just
naturally charismatic? Or is this a skill that
can be cultivated?
You may have been this person. Maybe

there was a moment in time when you felt
particularly magnetic. What was going on
in that moment, and how can you
recapture that allure?
We all want to be interesting to others,

even if we’re not necessarily comfortable
being the center of attention. Being
interesting makes us feel “seen.” It leads to
opportunities. It leads to influence.
Understanding what’s “attractive” can help

in the pursuit of influence. The secret to
being interesting is less about positioning
yourself as someone particularly cultured,
experienced, or worthy and more about
what you offer to each individual with
whom you interact.
Here is the inside track to being more

interesting.
2 4
BE BE
GENEROUS BRAVE
1 3 5
BE BE BE
HUMBLE INCLUSIVE INTERESTED
5 WAYS TO ALWAYS BE
1 BE HUMBLE
While many of us picture the center of attention being someone with a big
personality and a booming voice with lots of opinions and a hearty laugh
(someone exhibiting blatant confidence), research published in the British
Psychological Society Digest shows that people will choose to be around other
people who favor humility. There is much debate around how to actually define
humility in this case, but the most appropriate definition seems to be “having a
clear perspective and respect for one’s place in context.”
How to be humble? Humility is not to be confused with a lack of assertiveness. And

it also doesn’t mean you should be self-deprecating. Be humble by being willing to
say, in word or in deed, “I know who I am. I know what I can do. And, I know what I
can’t do.”
And have a light heart about it. This can be as simple as employing the tried and
true, “You know what, I don’t know the answer to that, but I will find out…” or as
subtle as asking questions when a topic with which you’re unfamiliar is tackled in
conversation.
Don’t be afraid to show up with a “beginner’s mind” and be curious.
2 BE GENEROUS
If you’re genuinely generous, you trigger the psychological response of reciprocity.
You don’t even have to be extravagantly generous. Proceedings of the National
Academy of Sciences found that very simple reciprocal activity, like engaging in
conversation, triggered altruism in young children. The same is projected to be
true for adults, according to the research. So this means that if you’re simply
generous with your time and attention, you might find your generosity comes back
to you. People will be more interested in and will pay attention to you, in turn.
How to be generous? Say yes, often. If you have a particular expertise, offer your
insight or services without the expectation of payback. Participate in a productive
way in industry groups online. Be helpful. Your good deeds will be reciprocated.
The research backs it up.
5 WAYS TO ALWAYS BE
3 BE INCLUSIVE
Being the mean girl, or guy, in order to be cool is passe. We can either undercut
each other or we can support each other. You can guess which garners better
results in building influence.
How to be inclusive? See someone milling about, drink in hand, looking for
someone to talk to? Don’t ignore this person and stay happy in the safety of your
circle. Ask if he’d like to join you and integrate him into the conversation by
relaying something you just learned about the person you were talking to. (This
also shows you were listening, which is another tactic for seeming interesting to
others. Be a good listener.)
4 BE BRAVE
IAccording to Vanessa Van Edwards, founder of The Science of People, our fear of
being different makes us boring. But watch what happens when you are open and
vulnerable, silly, maybe even a little bit weird. When you’re brave and open enough
to be yourself, you’ll often find people will be attracted to and interested in you.
And, worst case, if they don’t flock to you, you’ll at least leave the interaction
knowing you weren’t being fake.
How to be brave? Putting the interaction in context can help you muster the
courage to be yourself. Remember, we all have our flaws; we’re all vulnerable in
some way. And, remember what’s at stake—usually not a whole lot—so have the
courage to be your interesting self, share an interesting experience, and talk of
things you’re passionate about.
5 BE INTERESTED
Dale Carnegie famously said, “To be interesting, be interested.” A study published
in 2010 in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that people who
engaged in a debate with a partner online rated the partner more favorably if they
received a question from that partner as opposed to participants whose partners
asked no questions and exhibited no interest in their viewpoint. Participants who
received a question said they’d be more willing to engage with their counterpart in
the future.
How to be interested? Ask questions, listen closely, ask more questions. Engage
people in talking about their passions. If you know nothing about which they speak,
even better. Ask more questions. (Be humble! And, curious!) If you already know
about the topic at hand, that’s another great way to form a connection.

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5 WAYS TO ALWAYS BE THE MOST

INTERESTING PERSON IN THE ROOM

We all know those people who seem to

You may have been this person. Maybe

We all want to be interesting to others,

Understanding what’s “attractive” can help

Here is the inside track to being more

How to be humble? Humility is not to be confused with a lack of assertiveness. And

Don’t be afraid to show up with a “beginner’s mind” and be curious.

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