THE DOUBLE

by

Richard Ayoade and Avi Korine

(Based on an original idea by Avi Korine)

Alcove Entertainment
St. Georges House
6th Floor,
15, Hanover Square
London, W1S 1HS
+44 (0)207 409 1990
[email protected]
www.alcoveentertainment.com

Alcove Entertainment developed in association with Film4

© Channel 4 Television Corporation and Alcove Entertainment Limited
 ONE

FADE IN:

INT. SUBWAY TRAIN- VERY EARLY MORNING

CLOSE on SIMON JAMES. His eyes are closed. It is difficult

to tell whether he is asleep or not.

We hear a voice off screen.

2
MAN
You’re in my place.

t
SIMON opens his eyes. He looks up.

en
SIMON
Sorry?

m
MAN
You’re in my place.

i n
SIMON looks around the carriage. It is almost completely

tr a
EMPTY.

He looks back at the MAN quizzically. The MAN stares at

SIMON in a hostile manner.

te
Perplexed, SIMON gets up and stands by a hand rail. The MAN
takes SIMON’S place, folds out a newspaper and starts to

n
read. SIMON looks at the MAN who, from behind his paper,
raises his middle finger at SIMON. SIMON looks at his

E
reflection in the glass window of the SUBWAY train. He
looks ghostly and half-formed.

e
SIMON is in his late-twenties to mid-thirties. He is of

v
average height and build. His hair color and clothing are
unremarkable. Although he is handsome, he is not overly so.

o
In short, he is a thoroughly average man.

l c
The title appears over Simon’s face, so forlorn it almost
makes you want to cry. “THE DOUBLE.”

A
The train stops and the door opens.

A crowd of people spills in, pushing Simon back. He fights

against the flow to try to get out. Several people bump
directly into Simon without so much as a word of apology.

SIMON
(being pushed)
Sorry.

Simon waits for the others to get on the train. His path
finally clear, he attempts to leave again.

As he steps forward one last person jumps onto the train

bumping him to the side.
 2.

SIMON (CONT’D)
Excuse me.

The person doesn’t even acknowledge Simon.

There is a beep and Simon has to leap forward, barely

making it out through the sliding doors. As the train
departs, we see SIMON getting smaller and smaller on the
EMPTY PLATFORM.

EXT. STREET - VERY EARLY MORNING

2
We are in New York, or some comparable metropolis. Though

t
everything is familiar the world is somewhat off, somewhat
strange.

en
Simon walks down a MOSTLY EMPTY street, keeping his eyes
lowered. There are huge buildings on either side of him.

m
Any other people on the street are walking in the other
direction and Simon has to dodge them to avoid collisions.

i n
EXT. OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

tr a
SIMON waits outside AN ENORMOUS OFFICE BUILDING. It’s
relatively deserted.

te
TIME PASSES and a few people come and go.

Eventually, SIMON spots a woman, HANNAH, approaching the

n
LOBBY of the building. SIMON smiles, then composes himself
and skips after her.

E
INT. OFFICE LOBBY - EARLY MORNING

e
Simon enters the lobby of the office building. A few steps

v
ahead we see HANNAH. She is using a card to swipe through a
barrier.

lc o
Hannah is Simon’s age.
pretty.
She is a little unkempt, but very

A
SIMON
Hannah, are you going to...

Simon smiles and quickens his pace a bit. He takes out his
card, and swipes through, but the barrier doesn’t move.

A GUARD sitting behind a large marble desk calls out to

Simon just as Hannah begins to turn around.

GUARD
You, hey.

Simon turns and looks at the guard, surprised to be singled

out. He looks a little nervous.
 3.

SIMON
Me?

GUARD
All visitors have to sign in.

Simon moves to the desk where he takes a pen.

SIMON
My card’s not working for some
reason.

2
GUARD

t
All visitors have to sign in.

n
SIMON

e
I work here. I have a card. My
name is Simon James - you don’t
recognise me?

m
He sees Hannah getting into an elevator and watches the

n
door close.

tr a i
Simon frowns and signs the sheet. His is the first name.
He is given a DAY PASS that says ‘SIMON AMES - TEMPORARY
VISITOR’.

te
SIMON (CONT’D)
Oh, sorry. My name is Simon
James. Not Simon Ames...

E n
Simon trails off as he sees that the guard is no longer
paying attention to him.

e
INT. ELEVATOR - EARLY MORNING

v
Simon rides up an enormous elevator. The biggest elevator
you have ever seen.

l co
We watch Simon from above as he STANDS ALONE in the middle.

INT. OFFICE - EARLY MORNING

A
Simon sits at his cubicle in the middle of an enormous
office space. The place is separated into hundreds of
cubicles. SIMON is the first person there.

His desk and cubicle are just slightly too small for him.
Every cubicle has the same computer.

The computers are enormous, taking up half of the cubicle

space. They are box-y and make loud whirring noises that
fill the office.

The office has no windows other than wall made of tinted

glass.
 4.

Simon sits down at his desk, adjusting himself in his too

small chair.

He looks at a stack of paper and frowns a little.

A few people enter the office dressed as Simon is, with a

white shirt and tie. Simon looks up and greets them with
his slight, hesitant voice, but none of them acknowledge
him.

INT. OFFICE - LATER

2
All the cubicles are now full with office workers. Everyone

t
is much, much older than Simon. Simon sits at his desk,
copying a hand-written page onto his computer. The pages

n
are all questionnaires: long survey-like documents of

e
various people, filled with categories like ‘profession’,
‘marital status’, ‘personal habits’, ‘interests’ etc

m
Simon finishes up the page he is copying and moves to the
next page. He has nearly completed copying an enormous

n
batch.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

tr a i
Simon stares off into the distance. He occasionally pecks
something out on his keyboard.

te
Across the room we see MR. PAPADOPOULOS, an extraordinarily
round man. He has thick eyebrows and his brown suit

n
indicates that he is in management.

E
PAPADOPOULOS
That’s right, that’s great.

e
Making the big push!

v
Simon jumps up and approaches Mr. Papadopoulos. He fixes
his hair and grabs the stack of papers he has just

o
completed copying.

l c
Papadopoulos talks to everyone and no one at all as he
weaves his way through the maze of cubicles.

A
PAPADOPOULOS (CONT’D)
Excellent work everyone. We’ve
got to work double-time now,
making the big push.

We watch from above as Simon, carrying his stack of papers,

triangulates his way through the cubicles to cut off Mr.
Papadopoulos.

SIMON
Excuse me. Umm, Mr. Papadopoulos?

PAPADOPOULOS
Yes, what’s that?
 5.

SIMON
I wanted to tell you I finished
up. I’ve done the first...

PAPADOPOULOS
Excellent job!
(he takes the stack
of paper from Simon)
That’s the type of initiative we
need. I’ll tell the colonel right
away. How long have you been

2
here, son? Just started, eh?

t
SIMON
(frowning)

n
Seven years, sir.

e
PAPADOPOULOS
Ah, of course.

m
(slaps his head with
realization)

n
Thank you.

tr a
SIMON
(confused)
You’re welcome, sir.
(beat) i
te
Actually, I have some rather
exciting ideas I’ve been wanting
to share with the colonel about

n
what we could do with the
computers, things that would make

E
the reports much more powerful,
and efficient and...

e
PAPADOPOULOS

v
Very interesting, I must say.
(pauses)

o
Come with me.

l c
Simon follows Papadopoulos. He seems a bit startled and
excited, he might get his chance to discuss his ideas.

A
PAPADOPOULOS (CONT’D)
My daughter’s name is Melanie.

SIMON
(confused)
A nice name.

Papadopoulos has now stopped at a strange office behind the

tinted glass. The door says, “The Colonel’s Quarters.
Executive Offices.”

PAPADOPOULOS
She’s interning for the holidays.
 6.

MELANIE is sixteen years old. She smacks her gum, has her
foot up on the desk and is painting her toenails.

PAPADOPOULOS (CONT’D)
Say hello, Melanie.

Melanie doesn’t even look at Simon.

MELANIE
Hey.

2
SIMON
(confused)

t
Hello.

n
PAPADOPOULOS

e
Stanley here’s going to be your
mentor.

m
Simon nods along happily for a moment, then looks at
Papadopoulos.

i n
SIMON

tr a
What?

PAPADOPOULOS
An hour a day... at your

te
discretion.
(beat, quietly to
Simon)

n
She’s a good girl, but no head
for figures.

E
With that Papadopoulos enters the strange office.

e
MELANIE

v
Idiot.
(to SIMON)

o
You can go now.

lc
Simon remains, looking confused.

A
SIMON
Yes, I do have to be going, I
suppose.

MELANIE
Because if I were to find out how
depressingly meaningless what you
do actually is I might be forced
to feel sorry for you.

INT. COFFEE ROOM - LATER

Simon searches his wallet for a dollar. He can only find a

five. He uses the change machine and picks up the heavy
load of quarters.
 7.

INT. COFFEE ROOM - LATER

Simon sips his coffee and stares blankly ahead.

He sees a POSTER on the notice board that says, ‘THE

COLONEL’S BALL. DRINKS, DANCING, ENJOYMENT. ATTENDANCE
MANDATORY.’

Harris enters the room. He looks through his wallet for a

moment before turning to talk to Simon.

2
HARRIS
You finished your report yet?

t
SIMON

n
Just a little while ago.

e
HARRIS
You think you could help me out

m
on mine?

n
SIMON

i
I did the entire thing last time.

tr a
HARRIS
I know. I still have the
inspiration, it’s just my powers

te
of concentration seem to have
waned.

n
SIMON
(shaking head)

E
Just leave it on my desk. I’ll
get to it.

e
HARRIS

v
Do you have any money?

o
SIMON sighs and gives HARRIS some coins for the machine. He

c
makes a coffee.

l
HARRIS (CONT’D)

A
(smiling)
Fantastic.
(hesitates, not much
to say)
Uh, what else is going on?

SIMON SHRUGS.

HARRIS (CONT’D)
You going to the Colonel’s Ball?

SIMON
It’s mandatory.

HARRIS
Some drunk girl’s gonna get it.
 8.

There’s a pause.

HARRIS (CONT’D)
See ya.

INT. ELEVATOR - DAY

SIMON stands with a large stack of paper under his arm.

INT. PHOTOCOPYING DEPT.

2
SIMON waits at the counter. He sees HANNAH approach.

t
Hannah’s face is hard to read and she doesn’t give out to
many visual clues. She’s different than the rest of Simon’s

n
coworkers, but inscrutable.

e
SIMON
Hi. Can I get these copied

m
please?

n
HANNAH

i
(not unkindly)

tr a
I did these for you yesterday,
didn’t I?

SIMON

te
Well, it was something....

A TELEPHONE RINGS. HANNAH steps away to answer.

E
Sorry.
n HANNAH

e
A MEAN-LOOKING woman, LIZ, TAKES her place.

v
LIZ
Why didn’t you just print out two

o
copies?

l c
SIMON
Sorry...

A
LIZ
You shouldn’t use this department
for just one copy.

She takes the papers.

LIZ (CONT’D)
This is the last time.

SIMON watches HANNAH talk on the phone as we hear the

rumble of PHOTOCOPIERS.
 9.

LIZ (CONT’D)
Hey, Hannah. Can you stay late?
I’ve got to get this lump checked
out.

HANNAH looks over and nods.

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

Simon sits alone at a circular table in the middle of an

enormous cafeteria.

2
People sit together at tables all around him, while Simon

t
barely touches his food and reads a book.

n
Simon looks up from the book and sees Hannah also sitting

e
alone at a nearby table.

HARRIS sidles up beside him.

m
HARRIS

n
You hit it yet?

What?

tr a
SIMON

HARRIS i
te
That chick, Hannah, you banged
her yet?

n
SIMON
I’m just trying...

E
HARRIS

e
That’s the spirit!

v
SIMON
(frowning)

o
No! I’ve barely talked to her...

l c
HARRIS
Make a move at the Colonel’s

A
Ball. Those things end up like
Roman orgies.

SIMON
She doesn’t strike me as the type
to go.

HARRIS
It’s mandatory. Everyone has to
go.

SIMON
Not everyone goes.
 10.

HARRIS
She’s pretty good looking, but as
long as you don’t talk much and
she’s wasted...

They sit in silence for a moment.

HARRIS (CONT’D)
Hey, I just realised: ‘Colonel’s
Ball’ sounds funny.

2
INT. OFFICE - EARLY EVENING

t
Simon sits at his desk. He looks very tired. He is talking
on the phone.

en
SIMON
(into phone)
Yes, mother. I’ll be there. I’m

m
just working a bit late.

n
THE OFFICE is empty. HARRIS enters.

tr a i
SIMON (CONT’D)
(into phone)
Goodbye, then.

te
HARRIS
See ya.

n
SIMON
Bye.

E
HARRIS

e
Hey - watch this.

v
HARRIS climbs up onto one of the desks and manages to jump
across all the cubicles till he’s by the door on the other

o
side of the room. He bows and leaves.

lc
EXT. OFFICE - NIGHT

A
Simon stands across the street from his office building,
not many people are around.

Hannah exits the building alone. Simon slinks back into the
shadows and watches her go. He sighs.

INT. OLD-FOLKS HOME - NIGHT

Simon sits in an uncomfortable looking chair, opposite his

MOTHER.

Simon’s Mother is not particularly old, but she has cloudy

eyes and a generally vacant expression.

In the distance we see other residents watching a dated

game show. All the furniture seems a bit strange.
 11.

Closer is a tiny old lady of unclear ethnicity, perhaps a

GYPSY WOMAN. She is bundled up and seems to be staring at
Simon.

Simon glances at her occasionally, looking uncomfortable.

SIMON
Things are going very well for me
at work, you’ll be happy to know.
I expect to speak with The
Colonel about some plans I’ve

2
been working on. You wouldn’t
believe what these computers are

t
capable of. I really think
they’re going to change things.

en
MOTHER
(a bit angry)
What are you going on about?

m
Simon continues as though he’s used to this.

i n
SIMON

tr a
There’s also a girl that I’m
interested in, and well, it’s
been going slowly, but I think
something might be about to

te
happen.

GYPSY WOMAN

n
Your mother says you are a
strange boy.

E
SIMON

e
Srange? No. Well, she’s never
been particularly warm, and

v
sometimes she gets confused.

o
MOTHER

c
(forceful)

l
You’ll never catch a female using
that puny worm as bait.

A
Simon’s mother reaches for his lap but he uncomfortably
pushes her hand away.

SIMON
Though she does have her moments
of lucidity.

GYPSY WOMAN
Let me see your hand.

SIMON
No, thanks I’m fine.

GYPSY WOMAN
You’re not right.
 12.

Simon looks a little concerned, but a man from the STAFF

approaches him.

STAFF
May I speak with you?

SIMON
Yes.
(to Gypsy)
Excuse me.

2
Simon walks a few steps away to speak with the man.

t
STAFF
There seems to be a discrepancy

n
in your bill.

e
SIMON
Yes, well, there was a rather

m
large cost increase, and no
explanation, so I thought it

n
might be a mistake.

tr a
STAFF
There’s a new price.

SIMON i
te
And why is that?

STAFF

n
Improvements.

E
Simon looks around at the obviously unchanged room.

e
SIMON
But that seems a little...

v
STAFF

o
Would you like your mother to rot

c
on the street?

l
SIMON

A
(thinks a second)
No.

STAFF
Good. That’s settled.

Simon seems about to say something, but shakes his head.

SIMON
She doesn’t seem quite as well.

STAFF
(already hurrying
away)
It’s because she’s old.
 13.

Simon sighs and looks back at his mother. The gypsy woman
stares at him.

EXT. APARTMENT COURTYARD - NIGHT

Simon walks home through an enormous complex of tall

apartment buildings. They look so alike you can’t tell the
difference between any of them.

EXT. DUMPSTER OUTSIDE APARTMENT - NIGHT

2
Simon sifts through the dumpster behind an apartment
building. Above is a shoot from which the trash comes.

t
A black bag drops down as Simon looks through the debris.

en
Simon has several scraps of paper in his hand but is still
searching.

m
He finally finds another scrap of paper and greedily grabs
it.

i n
He steps down from the dumpster and is embarrassed to see a

tr a
JANITOR watching him.

JANITOR
You shouldn’t be doing that.

te
SIMON
Sorry.

E n
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING

Simon hurries across the courtyard to the apartment

e
directly across from the building the dumpster was attached
to.

v
INT. APARTMENT BLOCK STAIRS

lc o
SIMON hurries up the stairs, almost running into an old
woman on his way up.

A
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT.

Simon enters his apartment and quickly walks to the window,

turning on a small floor lamp.

His apartment is very sparse and small; a bookshelf, desk,

and a small television. There are few pictures on the walls
and his bed sits on the floor. It is meticulously clean,
the product of a very ordered personality.

Simon looks out the window to the hundreds of apartments in

the building across from him.

Simon reaches up and lifts the window open as wide as it

can go. The wind pours through the apartment and Simon
leans out, looking into the great distance below.
 14.

He takes his jacket off and looks into a rather large

telescope. It is trained on the apartment opposite his.

Hannah stands at a drafting table where she see draws a

face. Her apartment is colorful and cozy, but there is
something of the same feeling of loneliness in her room as
well.

She is concentrated fully, biting her lip. She looks

charming. She steps back from the drawing and we see it is
Liz; the mean person she works with. It is very well done.

2
She is unhappy with the drawing, though, and tears it up,

t
tossing it down the trash chute.

n
On her wall are a handful of completed drawings, presumably

e
of other faces from the office.

Hannah has let her hair down. She looks very comfortable

m
and walks to the window where she languidly stretches. We
see a hint of her bare midriff.

i n
She then walks to her couch and lays back, yawning deeply.

tr a
In his apartment Simon reaches for a simple chair and
remains watching Hannah.

te
Simon takes the pieces of paper he collected from the trash
and puts them on the floor, working to piece them together.
We see that it is another of Hannah’s drawings, an earlier

n
draft of LIZ - but still very accomplished.

E
Simon looks up from the floor and returns to the telescope.
He sees his reflection in the glass, hollow and ghostly.

e
SIMON

v
What’s wrong with you?

o
HANNAH gets up and leaves the room. SIMON waits for a while

c
before allowing himself to tilt the telescope and survey

l
A man watching a commercial.

A
A beautiful woman brushing her hair in the mirror.

Someone with his back to us peeing in the bathroom.

Simon moves the telescope to the apartment above Hannah’s

and we see a MAN dressed very formally in a tuxedo staring
directly at Simon with his own pair of binoculars. The man
has a piece of paper pinned to his lapel. He is holding a
bloody handkerchief to the side of his head.

Simon takes a step back in shock and embarrassment before

looking through the telescope again.

The man is still there, staring at Simon through his

binoculars. The man waves at Simon.
 15.

He looks exactly the same as the man who told Simon to move
out of his place n the Subway.

Simon hesitantly raises his hand in reply.

The man steps on the ledge of his window.

The man, now steadied on the window, again waves at Simon.

The man dramatically leaps from the window. The man seems
to fall and fall. We never see him land.

2
Simon gasps and jumps up. He still has his hand up in

t
response to the man.

en
TWO

m
EXT. APARTMENT COURTYARD - NIGHT

n
The flashing of police lights fills the courtyard. We hear

i
voices in the background.

tr a
Simon leans against the side of the building, within the
area cordoned off by the police.

te
Two police officers are carefully carrying a body, already
enclosed within a bag, down a ladder. The body had landed
on a hard veranda.

E n
A FAT DETECTIVE is sipping on a cup of coffee and writing
notes as he talks to Simon. A FEMALE DETECTIVE looks over
his shoulders as he writes.

e
FAT DETECTIVE

v
And then what did you do?

o
SIMON

c
I called the police.

l
FAT DETECTIVE

A
Right.
(beat)
Anything else?

SIMON
He waved at me.

FAT DETECTIVE
(seeming momentarily
interested)
Yeah?

SIMON
Right before he jumped. He waved.
 16.

FEMALE DETECTIVE
How’d he wave?

Simon makes a waving motion, looks embarrassed.

FAT DETECTIVE
Did you wave back?

Simon doesn’t say anything for a moment.

SIMON

2
I wonder why he did it?

t
FAT DETECTIVE
His note said he was lonely.

n
Should of got a dog.

e
FEMALE DETECTIVE
Or exercised more. That’s

m
important.

n
FAT DETECTIVE

i
Should I write that down?

tr a
FEMALE DETECTIVE
Maybe, in parenthesis.

te
Simon shakes his head.

SIMON

n
Did he suffer?

E
FAT DETECTIVE
Splat.

e
Simon grimaces. Two paramedics are loading preparing to

v
load the body into an ambulance.

o
SIMON

lc
Do you see this sort of thing
often?

A
FAT DETECTIVE
Every day. That’s what we do,
suicides.

SIMON
Only suicides?

FAT DETECTIVE
Yep.

SIMON
For the whole city?

The detective looks at him like he’s crazy

 17.

FEMALE DETECTIVE
We can barely cover the
neighborhood.
(beat)
You know, the funny thing is he
would have landed on the awning
if he’d just jumped a few feet to
the right. Probably survived if
we’d gotten here quick enough.
Horribly maimed of course, but
still.

2
FAT DETECTIVE

t
If you can get them to the
hospital quickly enough to stop

n
the brain swelling.

e
FEMALE DETECTIVE
That’s true.

m
We see Hannah a few feet away. Her hair is down and she is

n
hastily dressed.

tr a i
The detectives walks off to check on something and Simon
watches them.

Simon walks up to Hannah.

te
SIMON
Hannah?

E n
HANNAH looks at Simon, somewhat dazed.

SIMON (CONT’D)

e
It’s Simon. I work in the same
office as you. I often photocopy

v
things...

o
HANNAH

c
What are you doing here?

l
SIMON

A
The man that jumped. I was the
one who saw him.

HANNAH
How?

SIMON
I live in that building.

HANNAH
He lived above me. My neighbor
told me about it.
(beat)
I didn’t know him.
 18.

SIMON
He waved at me.

HANNAH
(shaking her head)
Strange.

As they watch the police work with moving the body. Hannah
cringes and grabs Simon by the arm. Simon talks loud, as
though he is resolved.

2
SIMON
It’s the Colonel’s Ball tomorrow.

t
(beat)
Do you think you’ll go?

en
HANNAH
It’s mandatory.

m
They stand in silence for a moment. HANNAH turns to leave.
Simon shouts after her.

i n
SIMON

tr a
Hannah.

HANNAH
Yes?

te
SIMON
It’s terrible to be alone too

n
much.

E
INT. DINER - EVENING

e
Simon and Hannah sit opposite one another in the booth of
an ancient looking diner.

v
SIMON

o
Yes. So, I’ve been working on a

c
thing to do with regression

l
analysis. Like, in my spare time.
I’m pretty happy with it. I’m

A
hoping to show it to the Colonel
when it’s ready. I mean, you
wouldn’t believe what these
computers are capable of. I
really think they’re going to
change things.

HANNAH
(neutral)
I don’t really understand
computers.

They are quiet and a WAITRESS comes and drops off their
drinks.
 19.

Hannah has tea in front of her while Simon has some blue
soda. Simon looks a little confused.

SIMON
(Calling after the
waitress)
Erm, I ordered orange juice...

No reply.

SIMON (CONT’D)

2
But I suppose this is just as
good.

t
They sit quietly for a few moments. Hannah and Simon turn

n
to a nearby television which is playing an odd futuristic

e
sci-fi/noir movie.

Simon looks down at the table. Hannah’s wrist is near his

m
hand. It is fine and fragile, her hand is stained with
pencil smudges. He slowly moves his hand forward.

i n
Hannah turns to look at Simon and he quickly averts his

tr a
eyes back to the television show.

SCI-FI DETECTIVE
(on the TV, dramatic)

te
There’s no such thing as...
second chances.

n
SIMON
I like this show.

E
Hannah smiles at Simon. He finds it hard to read her

e
expression. They return back to the screen for a moment.

v
SIMON (CONT’D)
Do you draw?

l co Why?
HANNAH
(looking suspicious)

A
SIMON
It’s just your hand.

Hannah looks down and rubs the pencil marks from her hand.
We hear a PHONE in the background.

HANNAH
It’s from the printer.

SIMON
Because it’s cool if you do, I
like...

WAITER
You’ve got a call.
 20.

SIMON
It’s not for me.

WAITER
Frumpy looking guy named Simon.

SIMON
(hesitates)
That’s me.
(to Hannah)
Hold on.

2
INT. PHONE BOOTH - MOMENTS LATER

t
Simon quickly grabs for the pay phone. He tries to look

n
around the corridor into the restaurant but just barely

e
can’t see where Hannah is sitting.

SIMON

m
(into phone)
Mom?

n
(beat)

i
Yes, but it’s just a night

tr a
terror.
(beat)
No that didn’t ever happen.
(beat)

te
I know I’m a disappointment.
(beat)
I have to go, I’m with a girl.

n
(beat)
Yes, a female girl.

E
(beat, sighs)
I don’t know if she’s fertile.

e
INT. DINER - MOMENTS LATER

v
Simon stands at the table, but Hannah is now gone. Her tea

o
is only partially finished.

l c
He picks up a note, it reads, “Sorry, had to go. Maybe see
you at the Colonel’s ball - Hannah.”

A
Simon looks both discouraged and excited. He lifts his eyes
once again to the silly show on the television. It goes to
a commercial break and we cut to an image of an enormous
pile of papers, taller than a man.

VOICE OVER
Think of what your business
could do if it had a giant,
electronic brain.

The stack explodes and the sheets of paper begin to fall,

tumbling one after another to reveal an enormous computer.
A MAN is under it, typing away, smoking a cigar
 21.

This is THE COLONEL, a European-looking MAN in his 60s/70s

dressed like a member of the British Royal Family.

VOICE OVER (CONT’D)

Well now it has. Meet the
Colonel.

The Colonel walks through an enormous room of attractive

women clacking away at computers.

VOICE OVER (CONT’D)

2
For years, the Colonel has
provided your business with the

t
most detailed personal profiling
on the market. Using his powerful

n
super computers to provide all

e
the information you need to know
exactly who your target consumer
is.

m
INT. SCREENING ROOM - DAY

i n
We reveal that Simon, Melanie and Harris watch an

tr a
ORIENTATION VIDEO.

HARRIS
(whisper)

te
Did she say anything else?

SIMON

n
(whisper)
No. Just that she was definitely

E
going.

e
HARRIS
You should have stroked her

v
earlobe.

o
MELANIE

c
This is colossally boring.

l
Simon and Harris return their attention to the video.

A
VOICE OVER
The Colonel will go to any
lengths to find everything about
anybody.

We see a montage of data collection. In each shot, The

Colonel is Co-ordinating. Men in overcoats conducting
bubble tests: taking notes at what someone buys at a
drugstore; looking through someone’s trash.

SIMON
It’s actually quite exciting, the
new technology is incredibly
powerful. Right now we’re using a
scattershot approach, but...
(MORE)
 22.

SIMON (CONT'D)
I’ve been meaning to talk to your
father and the Colonel about
this... using simple regression
analysis and honing in on a few
key signals we can use these
machines to find out anything we
need incredibly quickly. We could
really reconfigure the entire
business.
(beat)
You know, I really think

2
computers are going to change
things.

t
Both Melanie and Harris look at Simon as though he’s crazy.

n
We return to the video.

e
THE COLONEL is shaking hands with various people next to
one of his enormous computers

m
VOICE OVER

n
Governments, corporations,

i
foreign nationals... The Colonel

tr a
can service all your needs.

MELANIE
Are you touching my earlobe?

te
We return to see Harris, reaching his hand behind Simon’s
head, limply holding Melanie’s earlobe.

E n
Yes, I am.
HARRIS

e
SIMON
Harris: that’s not appropriate.

v
MELANIE

o
I’m going to leave now.

c
(beat, to Simon)

l
And, you’re pathetic. She’s got
to be at the ball, it’s

A
mandatory.

HARRIS
Does that mean you’ll be there?

MELANIE
I’m underage, you sack of shit.

HARRIS
Don’t fight it.

She gets up and leaves.

 23.

MELANIE
(to SIMON)
I just hope I’m not so upset that
I tell my Dad about this.

SIMON
(turning to HARRIS)
What are you doing? You shouldn’t
even be here.

He leaves. We see the projection screen.

2
VOICE OVER

t
Because The Colonel knows there
are no special people

en
THE COLONEL
(straight to camera,
with a slight

m
Russian accent)
Just people.

i n
INT. BATHROOM - EVENING

tr a
SIMON stuffs his work clothes into a bag. He is wearing a
tuxedo. He looks in the mirror and practices introductions.

te
SIMON
Oh - hi Hannah. Hannah! Hi.
Hannah? Hey. Simon. From the

n
scene of the suicide! Etc.

E
INT. OFFICE - EVENING

e
Again, Simon is the last one there. He dumps his bag
underneath his desk. He looks around tentatively, then

v
steps up onto his desk to repeat the trick Harris did. But,
as soon as he sets foot on another desk an alarm sounds.

l co
He looks around in panic.

INT. INTERVIEW ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

A
Simon sits opposite someone who is typing up a report on
him.

SIMON
What are you writing?

INVESTIGATOR ONE
Don’t make this worse for
yourself.

SIMON
I’ve never done anything like
that before.
 24.

INVESTIGATOR TWO
Card please.

SIMON hands over his identity card. The PERSON puts it into
a card reader and keys something in.

INVESTIGATOR ONE
This card’s corrupted. You’ll get
a replacement in six to eight
weeks.

2
INVESTIGATOR ONE cuts it up.

t
SIMON
How will I get in and out of the

n
building?

e
INVESTIGATOR TWO
The card replacement fee will be

m
deducted from your wages.

n
INT. LOBBY OF COLONEL’S BALL VENUE - EVENING

tr a i
A large door, like that of an AMBASSADORIAL BUILDING.

Simon stands in the lobby, next to a MAN with a clipboard.

Behind him a WOMAN is looking something up on a computer.

te
Simon has clearly been waiting a long time.

GUESTS in evening wear arrive and enter the building. We

n
hear a band play in the background.

E
SIMON
Why does no one else need to

e
swipe in?

v
MAN
We carry out these checks at

o
random. If you’re suggesting

lc
you’re being persecuted, you’ll
need to fill out this form.

A
He hands Simon a form which is headed ‘YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
NOT TO BE PERSECUTED’. HARRIS appears.

HARRIS
See you in there.

SIMON
See? He knows I work here.
Harris! Tell him who I am.

HARRIS
I’ve never seen that man before
in my life!

And he disappears.
 25.

SIMON
He’s being a dick...

The man looks sternly at Simon for swearing.

SIMON (CONT’D)
-a silly person. I had my card
confiscated-

MAN
Because it was corrupted.

2
WOMAN

t
(calling out)
I can’t find him on the list!

en
MAN
She can’t find you on the list.

m
SIMON
Everyone is on the list. I’ve

n
worked here for seven years.

MAN

tr a
Please step away.

SIMON i
te
I work here. Why would I try to
break in to something that’s
mandatory? It’s a job

n
requirement.

E
MAN
Are you planning to use force?

e
SIMON

v
Do you know what mandatory means?
No one wants to go to this.

l co
We hear joyous cheers from within.

MAN

A
Please step away.

EXT. COLONEL’S BALL VENUE - MOMENTS LATER

Simon wanders around in disbelief. He tries to see what’s

going on inside, but the angle is too steep.

EXT. SERVICE ENTRANCE COLONEL’S BALL VENUE - MOMENTS LATER

Simon creeps in through the kitchens. A couple of staff

members look at him suspiciously. Simon stops and looks
around and pretends that he’s inspecting the premises.
 26.

SIMON
Very good. Excellent. I’ll be
telling the Colonel about the
great work you’re all doing.

INT. CORRIDOR - MOMENTS LATER

SIMON, crouched down peers through a crack in the door. We

see his POV of a grand ballroom. People are milling about,
eating canapes, chatting, laughing and dancing to the music
played by a band. The band are impossibly old. A WAITER

2
swooshes by, leaving SIMON exposed in an odd posture. He
walks forward in a crouched manner and tries to casually

t
segue into standing up and walking properly. A few people
notice him, but he’s largely ignored.

en
INT. BALLROOM - CONTINUOUS

SIMON picks up a drink and some hors d’oeuvres. He looks at

m
a long table full of strange raffle prizes.

n
The band play a fanfare and people shuffle to attention.

i
Mr. Papadapolous takes to the stage and stands on a pre-

tr a
prepared box.

PAPADOPOLOUS
And now we take a brief break in

te
our revelry to honour our Young
Employee of the Year. And to
present the award is last year’s

n
winner, Mr. Stevens.

E
Fanfare. Mr Steven’s approaches: he looks between fifty and
sixty. PAPADOPOLOUS gets down off the box and picks it up.

e
MR. STEVENS

v
And the winner is...

o
He produces an envelope from his pocket. Papadapolous comes

c
over to help him, as Mr. Stevens has a prosthetic hand and

l
finds it difficult to open it. The band’s drum roll starts
to become frighteningly long.

A
MR. STEVENS (CONT’D)
Mr. Harris.

We he hear a whoop of delight from HARRIS - a spotlight

finds him. We have audience applause.

We see Simon, unable to believe his eyes.

INT. BALLROOM - A LITTLE LATER

Simon wanders through a series of rooms, looking for

Hannah.
 27.

Various people enjoying themselves. Papadopolous is doing a

vaguely racist impression of someone, to the delight of
some business colleagues.

He sees Hannah sitting at the other end of a room. She’s in

a fifties-style ball gown and is smoking a cigarette. Simon
watches her for a while. She looks a bit bored, alone,
seemingly ready for someone to approach her.

Time seems to stand still. The song played by the band

sounds epic and romantic.

2
Just as she looks up and returns his gaze, two men grab

t
Simon and start dragging him out of the building.

n
MAN

e
You’re not meant to be here.

SIMON

m
What do you mean? I work here.

n
SIMON looks mortified. He gazes at Hannah, who looks

i
confused, but not particularly concerned. More and more

tr a
people at the dance start looking around. The band stops
playing.

SIMON (CONT’D)

te
You’re making a mistake. I work
here. I work here!

n
He tries to shrug them off.

E
SIMON (CONT’D)
There’s no need to drag me.

e
They simply re-double their aggression - the struggle

v
becomes more undignified.

o
A few steps away we see The Colonel. He listens to someone

c
speaking, nodding with a benign, patrician air. He turns to

l
look at Simon. Someone whispers in the Colonel’s ear. Simon
looks up: this is the first time he has seen this figure in

A
the flesh.

EXT. COLONEL’S BALL VENUE

SIMON is thrown down the steps and onto the street.

MAN
The appropriate amendments will
be made to your record.

Simon gets up. He is visibly shaken. Behind the doors we

can just make out the sound of the band and see some
movement in the hall.

Simon staggers about for a bit. He is frustrated, pacing

back and forth, seeming almost like he’s going to cry.
 28.

Simon starts to punch at the air and flail. Completely

letting go.

SIMON
What’s wrong with them? I’m a
person, like other people. What’s
wrong with you?! It gives the
Colonel the complete wrong idea
about me. I have things to say to
him. Ideas that he’d very much
like to hear, I’m sure.

2
Simon pushes the glass door several times causing it to

t
clatter as he continues to yell.

n
Finally he kicks the door which gives a shiver, but the

e
only real result is a sharp pain in his foot.

Simon begins to curse to himself loudly.

m
The door swings open and the security man again looks

n
sternly at Simon who continues to curse.

MAN

tr a i
Did you want something?

Simon looks as though he’s about to say something, really

te
let the man have it, but as he clutches his foot he finds
himself saying

n
SIMON
Nothing, I don’t want anything.

E
The man stares at Simon, the party still going on in the

e
background.

v
The man turns and the door slowly draws to a close.

o
As the door is closing we see a MAN not too far away in

c
conversation. He turns around and we only catch a glimpse

l
of him, but he looks exactly the same as Simon. The door
clatters shut as Simon tries desperately to see.

A
Simon seems to go limp with horror. He slumps against the
wall as though faint, lowering his head, apart from himself
and lost in a nightmare.

EXT. BRIDGE - NIGHT

Simon stands on a deserted bridge overlooking a great deal

of traffic. He stares down. There is a strange feel in the
air. We’re not quite sure where we are and things seem a
bit off, almost as though Simon is not in control of
himself.

A long shadow appears, followed by the clip clop of feet.

 29.

A figure starts walking towards us. Simon doesn’t look up

until the figure passes him. The man glances back. Again,
incredibly, he has the same face as Simon!

After he recovers from shock. Simon starts to follow him.

EXT. VARIOUS - NIGHT

SIMON follows the man through various streets. The man is

walking so quickly that Simon can barely keep up.

2
EXT. SIMON’S APARTMENT BLOCK - NIGHT

t
The man reaches Simon’s apartment block and, without
looking back, skips into HANNAH’s block of flats. SIMON

n
rushes up to his apartment.

e
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

m
Simon runs to the telescope and starts scouring the various
rooms to see if he can see where his double is. Something

n
draws him to the flat above Hannah’s.

tr a i
He sees a door open and light pour in from the corridor.
The main light is switched on. The figure walks to the
window and stares almost straight at Simon before drawing
the blinds. Although very distant, the face bears a

te
striking resemblance to Simon’s.

E n THREE

e
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - MORNING

v
Simon wakes up with a start. He is still wearing his dinner

o
jacket.

lc
INT. OFFICE LOBBY - MORNING

A
Simon - looking a bit tired and rumpled - is signing in
just as Hannah passes. This time he manages to get into the
elevator with her.

INT. ELEVATOR - MORNING

Simon stands awkwardly at some considerable distance from

Hannah.

SIMON
There was a bit of a mix up at
the ball last night. Unfortunate.

HANNAH
I’m going down.
 30.

SIMON
I don’t mind going down.

SIMON winces to himself.

SIMON (CONT’D)
And then up.

An awkward rest of elevator ride. Hannah says ‘bye’ and

exits. The doors close and the elevator starts to travel
back up. In frustration, Simon kicks the wall. The elevator

2
stops and an alarm sounds.

t
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM

n
Simon sits and watches the person type.

e
INVESTIGATOR ONE
Card please.

m
Off SIMON’S LOOK we cut to

i n
INT. OFFICE - DAY

tr a
Dejected, Simon treads heavily through the office while
people clack away at their computers. Occasionally someone
looks up and smirks in memory of last night’s events.

te
Simon sits down at his desk. He rolls his eyes at Harris
who is standing nearby.

E n
Simon looks past Harris and sees Papadopoulos walking
closer and talking to a person obstructed from our view.

e
PAPADOPOULOS
We can really use a young man

v
like you, especially right now
with the big push and all.

lc o
Papadopoulos has now moved into Simon’s field of vision,
just a few cubicles in front of Simon.

A
Simon stands up to get a better look at the new person, but
his view is blocked.

PAPADOPOULOS (CONT’D)
I’d like to introduce everyone to
our newest co-worker. A bright
young man who I’m sure will be an
asset. He asked to be moved here
from our sister offices. Heard it
was the best.

Papadopoulos gives the man beside him a push in the ribs.

Simon moves a few steps to the side but Harris is in his

way. We get just a glimpse of the man.
 31.

Simon continues to move closer, as though he is compelled.

Quite a few of the other workers in the office have stood

up as well, getting a look at the new employee.

But now the new person has turned in the other direction.

Simon waits for him to turn around, but as he does

Papadopoulos again obstructs his view.

PAPADOPOULOS (CONT’D)

2
I’ll let you get started. Young
hotshot, soon you’ll have my job.

t
Simon is now quite close to Papadopoulos, and only a few

n
paces away from the new man.

e
Papadopoulos moves to the side, and for the first time we
see the new worker.

m
The man, JAMES, is the exact double of Simon.

i n
Simon and James are played by the same actor. Every

tr a
physical attribute is identical, except Simon's clothes are
slightly more worn.

Simon gasps, his eyes wide and his mouth agape.

te
Simon continues to stare at James, who for the first time
makes eye contact. James smiles at Simon, a strange half-

n
friendly, half-threatening smile.

E
PAPADOPOULOS (CONT’D)
His name is James Simon.

e
Simon lets out a high-pitched SQUEAL.

v
Everyone in the office turns to Simon. He is embarrassed

o
and smiles sickly. Across from him James gives a little

c
wink.

l
Simon sways unsteady. His eyes roll and he tumbles

A
backwards.

INT. OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

Simon is on his back being fanned by Mr. Papadopoulos.

PAPADOPOULOS
Don’t worry, my cleaner is a
diabetic. We just need to jam a
cookie down his throat!

Simon lifts himself up, looking around wildly.

SIMON
No, I’m not diabetic. What
happened? Where is he?
 32.

He searches the faces around him but doesn’t see his

double.

SIMON (CONT’D)
Sir, it’s just a shock that, well
you know. The new man.

PAPADOPOULOS
(looking perturbed)
Don’t worry son, we’re not
replacing you.

2
(beat)
I’m not one of these holier than

t
though types. Drugs can be
healthy for a person, just leave

n
it out of the office.

e
SIMON
What, no, not drugs... Last

m
night, a man I didn’t know...

n
PAPADOPOULOS

i
No need for details, it’s

tr a
happened to us all. Back to work.

Papadopoulos reaches down and helps Simon up and sets him

back at his desk. James returns and sits down opposite

te
Simon. SIMON lets out another high pitched squeal.

PAPADOPOULOS (CONT’D)

n
I’ll leave you to it.

E
INT. SIMON’S CUBICLE - LATER

e
Simon peers over his cubicle. He never takes his eyes off
James. Simon runs his hands over his face. He is very

v
flustered.

o
Simon frantically searches around his desk. He finds a

c
stapler and looks into the shiny metal bottom.

l
We see his distorted reflection in the stapler.

A
INT. COFFEE ROOM - LATER

Simon drinks a glass of water to calm his nerves. He

appears to be hyperventilating.

INT. BATHROOM - LATER

Simon has finished washing his face in front of a long

mirror. He has calmed down and focuses on his breathing.

SIMON
It’s going to be okay. It’s just
a resemblance. You’re just a
little spooked, right?
 33.

Simon nods to himself slowly in the mirror. A flush comes

from a bathroom stall.

Simon looks embarrassed and turns to leave the bathroom. As

Simon tries to leave, the door to the stall swings open and
James exits.

They are now face to face, and time seems to slow. They
carefully inspect one another; they are mirror images.

They start to move again and begin to engage in that

2
awkward dance one does when trying to get past someone.

t
Simon and James both attempt to go to the left, then to the
right. James gives Simon a friendly smile.

en
Simon rushes from the bathroom.

INT. OFFICE - LATER

m
Simon is hiding behind a door at the side of the office.

n
He is watching James sitting at his desk. Around James’

i
desk we see several other employees, including Harris.

tr a
INT. OFFICE - LATER

Simon remains in his hiding spot, watching James.

te
Simon waits until he sees Harris leave for the elevator.
He quickly sidles up to Harris and grabs him by the arm.

INT. CANTEEN - DAY

E n
Harris has two extremely large hot dogs in front of him.

e
The restaurant is busy, but Simon doesn’t eat.

v
Harris takes a huge bite of the hot dog and moans with
pleasure. He gets ketchup on his lips.

l co HARRIS
Thanks for the dogs. You want a
bite?

A
Simon seems to be trembling.

SIMON
Harris, the new worker here,
he...
(leaning in and
whispering)
You spoke to the new employee?

HARRIS
James? Sure, I met him.

SIMON
And?
 34.

HARRIS
Seems like an okay guy.

Simon looks around to see if anyone is eavesdropping.

Harris takes another bite of the hot dog.

SIMON
Did you notice anything strange
about him...I mean, did he remind
you of anyone?

2
HARRIS
Well...I don't know. Not that I

t
remember.

n
SIMON

e
I mean...me, for instance?

Harris thinks this over for a moment.

m
HARRIS

n
Yeah...you know, now that you

i
mention it...he does kind of

tr a
remind me of you.

SIMON
Yes, but, what I mean is...

te
HARRIS
Yeah, yeah...you know, you do

n
look related. Almost like
brothers.

E
Simon grabs Harris' arm.

e
SIMON

v
(in horror)
We look related? You think so?

l co HARRIS
(getting excited,
louder)

A
You do! It's true...I didn't
realize at first. You look just
like him! Or he looks just like
you. It's incredible!

SIMON
It is incredible! Why didn’t you
notice?

HARRIS
I don’t know, you’re pretty,
well, unnoticeable. But it’s a
miracle.
I met a man who had a moveable
tailbone. But that’s nothing
compared to this.
(MORE)
 35.

HARRIS (CONT'D)
(beat)
It’s like, destiny.

SIMON
There’s no such thing. It’s an
incredible coincidence, but...
I mean, there are six billion
people on the planet. A few are
bound to look the same.

HARRIS

2
(thinks)
If you were Chinese, maybe I’d

t
buy it. No, this is definitely
something. You’ll probably end up

n
wrestling at the top of a tall

e
building before one of you falls
to your doom. That’s normally how
they end doppelganger movies. Or

m
you were twins separated at
birth. That often happens.

i n
SIMON

tr a
What’s he like?

HARRIS
I don't know. He’s a guy.

te
SIMON
Do you know why he transferred?

E n HARRIS
How should I know?

e
SIMON
But didn't they...do you know if

v
they said anything about me?

o
HARRIS

c
What is there to say about you?

l
Simon opens his mouth and cocks his head.

A
INT. SIMON’S CUBICLE - AFTERNOON

Simon peeks cautiously over the top of his cubicle and

watches James.

James bobs his head while Simon looks at him mistrustfully.

INT. OFFICE HALLWAY - EVENING

Simon walks into the enormous and empty elevator. He waits

for the door to close.

Just before the door closes James joins him.

 36.

INT. ELEVATOR - EVENING

Simon and James stand next to each other. Again the

resemblance is incredible.

Everything about them is the same. They both clear their

throat at the same time, then simultaneously frown.

James appears content, but Simon’s face shows his concern.

INT. OFFICE LOBBY - EVENING

2
Simon and James walk through the lobby. They walk stride

t
for stride, as though mirror images.

n
EXT. STREET - EVENING

e
Simon and James step out of the door at the exact same time
and turn directly into each other. James, as though just

m
deciding something, but still sure of himself, says

n
JAMES

i
Would you like to get a drink?

tr a
EXT. STREET - NIGHT

JAMES and SIMON run giggling from a bar. They howl down the

te
street, kicking things over and laughing like children.

INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT. NIGHT.

E n
Simon and James stumble through the door, drunk. SIMON
disappears off to the kitchen.

e
SIMON (O.S.)
That was so much fun! Like when

v
you said to that man ‘who are you
looking at, friend?’ That was

o
amazing! I would never do that. I

c
mean, we were almost in a bar

l
fight for god’s sake. ‘Who are
you looking at? Friend.’

A
JAMES takes a look round the apartment. He strolls up to
the telescope and looks through it. He sees Hannah’s
apartment. Hannah is curled up on her sofa watching THE SCI-
FI DETECTIVE SERIES on TV. He gives a look of recognition.

He hears the sound of SIMON returning and walks back to the

centre of the room. SIMON has returned with one can of beer
and one glass.

JAMES
I’ll take the can.
 37.

INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

SIMON and JAMES sit and finish their beer. They both seem
pretty drunk.

JAMES
So what’s the action like round
here?

SIMON
Action?

2
JAMES

t
Yeah - in the office. That red
haired girl who sits opposite us

n
is a dirty, dirty thing.

e
Simon laughs uneasily.

m
JAMES (CONT’D)
And that french-sounding brunette

n
with the red top and red nails.

i
Maybe we should take them out.

tr a
Which one do you want?

SIMON
What?

te
JAMES
I prefer the french-sounding

n
brunette, but either way.

E
SIMON
(laughs)

e
No, that’s alright, you can. You
can have both.

v
JAMES

o
(shakes head)

lc
Never again. So, you got a
girlfriend?

A
SIMON
No.

JAMES
You a flamer?

SIMON
No. There’s someone I’ve been
thinking about a lot.

JAMES
Like some fantasy shit?

SIMON
No, she’s real. A person.
 38.

JAMES
Well, what’s the problem?

SIMON
I don’t know. I have all these
things I want to say to her.

He is sounding quite drunk now. The camera stays on him,

moving closer and closer.

SIMON (CONT’D)

2
Like how I can tell she’s a
lonely person - even if others

t
can’t. Because I know what it is
to be lonely and lost and

n
invisible.

e
JAMES
Simon, let me tell you something.

m
I’ll help you out with this. You
have to go after what you want.

n
I’d tear the asshole off an

i
elephant for a piece of trim I

tr a
wanted that bad.

SIMON
I’ve tried talking to her but I

te
don’t know how to be myself. It’s
like I’m permanently outside
myself. Like you could push your

n
hand straight through me if you
wanted to.

E
Simon looks at his hand.

e
SIMON (CONT’D)

v
I can see the type of man I want
to be versus the type of man I

o
actually am.

c
(beat)

l
I know that I’m doing it, but I’m
incapable of doing what needs to

A
be done. I’m like Pinnocchio. I’m
a wooden boy, not a real boy. And
it kills me.

SIMON looks over and sees that JAMES has fallen asleep.

INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Simon puts a duvet around JAMES and a pillow under his

head. Then gently Simon traces a line from Jame’s temple to
his chin with his finger.

SIMON
I’m pleased we met.
 39.

Simon gets up, turns the light off and goes to bed.

INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - MORNING

Simon wakes up. He groggily gets out of bed and stumbles

into the living area. JAMES is nowhere to be seen.

In fact, there is no sign that he was there at all.

2
FOUR

INT. OFFICE LOBBY - MORNING

n t
e
SIMON is signing in at reception while people quickly swipe
in and bustle on to the elevators. A beaming JAMES

m
appears.

n
JAMES

i
It’s okay: he’s with me.

tr a
GUARD
No problem James.
(to Simon)

te
Just go right through.

SIMON uneasily puts the pen down and follows James. JAMES

n
seems to already be on friendly terms with a number of
people in the building. He walks to the elevator greeting a

E
number of people.

e
EXT. ELEVATOR - A LITTLE LATER

v
Simon and James exit the elevator. James is obviously doing
the capper line to a joke. The people in the elevator all

o
laugh.

l c
SIMON
What time did you get in?

A
JAMES
I don’t know - about a half hour
ago.

INT. OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

HARRIS approaches.

JAMES
Hey - did you get a chance to
look at that report yet?

HARRIS
Yeah - I left it on your desk.
 40.

JAMES
Thanks, man.

Simon gives a look.

INT. WORK BATHROOM - AFTERNOON

Simon and James stand side by side together in the

bathroom. Their shirts are off and their pants rest at
their ankles.

2
Simon looks very uncomfortable.

t
SIMON
Somebody’s going to come in.

en
JAMES
Turn this way.

m
Simon shifts and James looks amazed.

n
JAMES (CONT’D)

i
Exactly the same.

tr a
SIMON
Down to the smallest freckle.

te
James looks pointedly at Simon’s crotch.

JAMES

n
I think mine is a bit bigger.

E
Simon starts to disagree but just then we hear the toilet
flush.

e
Mr. Papadopoulos emerges from a stall reading a newspaper

v
and buttoning up his pants.

o
Simon frantically tries to pull up his boxers. James just

c
stands there confidently.

l
PAPADOPOULOS

A
(not looking up from
the paper)
Keep up the good work boys.

Papadopoulos exits the bathroom, leaving Simon scrambling

with his shirt and James still nearly naked.

SIMON
Jesus. I’m getting back to work.

Simon starts to leave but James calls after him.

JAMES
Wait!
(beat)
We’re doing the switch right?
 41.

SIMON
I don’t know. What if they find
out?

JAMES
Look, I’m good with all this
social stuff. You’re an awkward
misfit, but you can help me out
and take the test for me.
(beat)
We look the same and nobody will

2
find out.

t
SIMON
But Papadopoulos put me in charge

n
of his daughter.

e
JAMES
Don’t worry, kids love me, and

m
you don’t even like the little
brat.

n
(beat)

i
You just take the test. I’ll

tr a
baby-sit for an hour.

SIMON
Do you know anything about what

te
we do here?

JAMES

n
What’s to know?

E
SIMON
Fine.

e
JAMES

v
Look, we’re a team, now. I’ll
help you, you help me. Like this

o
girl, Hannah, you’ve got to take

c
a step back. You can’t just stalk

l
her. Chicks don’t dig stalkers.
Unless they’re Sting in that

A
song. Right?
(Simon nods)
Great. Within a week you’re going
to get hand on boob. That’s a
promise. Simon. Look at me.
Within a week: hand on boob.

Simon half laughs, half-shakes his head with disbelief.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Simon sits at James’ desk. He is working on a test.

 42.

INT. COFFEE ROOM - LATER

James sits at the same couch next to Melanie. Melanie, far

from being sullen is now effusive and interested.

MELANIE
No, all of the boys in my school
are so childish, so immature.

JAMES
Nothing but a batch of raging

2
hormones.

t
INT. OFFICE - LATER

n
Simon is finishing up the test. He looks at the clock and

e
it is well after noon.

EXT. COFFEE ROOM - LATER

m
James is sat much closer to Melanie. James talks near her

n
ear.

tr a
JAMES

i
You need to realize that data
entry and collection and
computers and stuff can be

te
sensual. It has a romance. All
these lives that we’re recording,
their dreams, their hopes, their

n
loves. Each person out there,
apart, yet connected. We’re

E
giving these faceless people
immortality...

e
MELANIE

v
Wow.

o
He starts to stroke MELANIE’S earlobe.

lc
INT. OFFICE - LATER

A
Simon hands the test over to a secretary outside Mr.
Papadopoulos’ office. She looks up at him and smiles.

SECRETARY
Finished already?

SIMON
When do you think you’ll have the
results?

SECRETARY
For you? Right away.

The secretary smiles at Simon. He is puzzled, unused to

such treatment.
 43.

INT. COFFEE ROOM - DAY

JAMES is looking out of the window, checking that the coast

is clear.

MELANIE
Exactly. It’s like Daddy wanting
me to go out on a date with his
friend’s son. Like just because
we’re the same age doesn’t mean
we have anything in common,

2
right?

t
JAMES
It’s no substitute for real

n
emotional connection, that’s for

e
certain. I’ve always felt
emotional maturity is unrelated
to material age.

m
(Beat)
You know, you have the most

n
remarkable cleft in your chin.

You think?

JAMES closes the blinds.

tr a
MELANIE

i
te
JAMES
I think.

E n
INT. OFFICE - DAY

Simon sits at James’ desk while Mr. Papadopoulos stands

e
over him excitedly.

v
Simon doesn’t seem to be paying much attention, instead
focusing on his empty desk.

l co PAPADOPOULOS
I knew we hired the right man, I
just knew it.

A
SIMON
Thank you, sir.

Simon continues to wait for James to return. He is looking

at his empty desk.

PAPADOPOULOS
Where is the kid from that desk?
He’s been here a while. Just
between you and me he hasn’t
impressed.

SIMON
I’m sure there’s some
explanation.
(MORE)
 44.

SIMON (CONT'D)
I’ve found him to be quite
competent. He’s probably doing
something important.

PAPADOPOULOS
Sticking up for a co-worker, I
like that, admirable.

Papadopoulos waddles down the aisle of the office and Simon

stands, looking back at his desk.

2
James has suddenly appeared, sitting in Simon’s chair. He
waves to Simon and rushes over.

t
SIMON

n
(agitated)

e
Where were you?

JAMES

m
How’d I do?

n
SIMON

i
You aced it.

tr a
James claps his hands and does a spin.

JAMES

te
I knew it!

SIMON

n
I told you to be back an hour
ago.

E
JAMES

e
Don’t worry! The old man is an
idiot. We’re going to run this

v
place.

o
INT. CANTEEN - DAY

l c
Simon and James are finishing up their lunch. James is
eating an apple suggestively.

A
In the distance we see he is making intense eye contact
with Hannah. She looks up at him and then averts her eyes.

Simon is talking to James who is only half-listening.

JAMES
She’s definitely looking at you.

SIMON
You think?

JAMES
What did I tell you? Just ignore
them for a few days and they’ll
come crawling.
 45.

SIMON
I do feel like she’s been looking
at me a little.

JAMES
Of course she has. That’s what
you get when you listen to
Captain Jim.
(suddenly urgent)
Look. She wants to come over. I’m
going to hang back.

2
SIMON

t
What?

n
JAMES

e
Just remember what we talked
about. Play it cool.

m
SIMON looks up. HANNAH is coming over to the table. JAMES
scuttles away.

i n
HANNAH

tr a
Do you mind if I sit here?

SIMON
Sure. As in no. I don’t. Sit.

te
Definitely.
(beat, trying to be
cool)

n
I mean: it’s a free country.

E
There’s an awkward silence for a while.

e
HANNAH
I’d really plucked up my courage

v
to do this, but now...
(laughs)

o
Do you think we could maybe meet

c
after work?

l
SIMON

A
Okay.

HANNAH
It’s just I don’t want people
round here to listen in on us.
You know what it’s like in these
buildings. Is there a place we
could meet where we won’t have
like work people around?

We see JAMES looking on from a distance. Hannah leaves

Simon’s table. He looks around and sees James. Simon
smiles, James smiles back.
 46.

EXT. BRIDGE - EVENING

SIMON paces. He’s wearing a relatively smart jacket and

looks like he’s taken a little more care with his
appearance than usual. He sees Hannah approaching, casting
a similar shadow to when Simon saw the Double after the
Ball.

HANNAH
Nice spot here.

2
SIMON
I like to watch people as they

t
pass. It’s a good place to think.

n
HANNAH

e
Yeah, the fumes help with that.
(beat)
So: here’s the thing. I have this

m
crush on someone.

n
SIMON

i
A crush?

tr a
HANNAH
And this person on whom I have
the crush doesn’t know that

te
they’re the subject of my crush.
(beat)
And I’m pretty sure this person

n
might have a crush on me too.

E
SIMON
How do you know?

e
HANNAH

v
I’ve seen him looking at me.

o
SIMON

c
Right.

l
HANNAH

A
He works in my office. So I often
notice him looking at me.

SIMON
I see.

HANNAH
And he seems to have moved right
next to where I live.

SIMON
That could be a coincidence.

HANNAH
It could be.
 47.

SIMON
Have you ever thought of telling
him how you feel?

HANNAH
I wouldn’t dare.

SIMON
Why not?

HANNAH

2
I don’t know...

t
SIMON
You should tell him.

en
HANNAH
He just seems like one of those
people who’s really popular.

m
SIMON

n
Popular?

tr a
HANNAH

i
You know - everyone likes him - I
imagine he has a lot of girls
interested in him. He probably

te
looks at everyone.

SIMON blanches.

E n HANNAH (CONT’D)
But you seem close to him so I
thought you might know what he

e
thought.

v
SIMON
Right. You mean James?

l co HANNAH
Oh God- is it that obvious? I
don’t know what it is. I’ve never

A
met anyone like him. Not that
I’ve really met him. I think I’ve
said hello to him maybe once.

SIMON
You’ve never met anyone like him?

HANNAH
Do you think you could find out
if he is interested in me? God
this is so dumb!

SIMON
You really think he’s so unique?
What exactly is so unique about
him?
 48.

HANNAH
I don’t know.

SIMON
Try to think.

HANNAH
He has something.

SIMON
But you’ve never even spoken to

2
him. How can you know if he has
something?

t
HANNAH

n
You can tell by just looking at

e
someone

SIMON

m
By just looking at someone?

n
HANNAH

i
Yes.

tr a
(beat)
Listen - maybe it’s better if I
just tell him.

te
SIMON
Don’t do that. Look- I’ll tell
him. If you want.

Really?

E n HANNAH

e
SIMON
Sure. We’re pretty close so... he

v
listens to me.

o
HANNAH

lc
Oh, thanks. Only if you’re
comfortable with...

A
SIMON
Of course!

HANNAH
I know it seems a little shallow
of me...

SIMON
No. Sorry I didn’t mean to pry
or...

HANNAH
No. Thanks...

She’s clearly forgotten his name.

 49.

SIMON
Simon...

HANNAH
Sorry! I’m just flustered. I’m...

She hugs him. We see SIMON allow his face to relax into
disappointment.

HANNAH (CONT’D)
That’s great.

2
There’s an awkward pause.

t
HANNAH (CONT’D)

n
God. This is so teenage...

e
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

m
SIMON lies on his couch, looking up at the ceiling. He
suddenly rushes to the bathroom.

i n
INT. SIMON’S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

tr a
Simon vomits into the toilet. He stands up groggily and
looks at himself in the mirror.

te
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT. LIVING ROOM - A LITTLE LATER

SIMON looks through his telescope at JAMES’ apartment. He

n
is slumped on a chair playing a video game. He is greedily
throwing popcorn into his mouth.

E
Below we look at Hannah’s apartment. She is drawing at her

e
desk. She seems to be happy, concentrating on her drawing.

v
A few feet away we see several drawings that she has made
of James.

l co
Simon sighs and hangs his head.

INT. OFFICE CORRIDOR - DAY

A
Simon walks, defeated, next to James. Throughout this walk
James passes various people who all acknowledge him, but
not Simon.

JAMES
Well I’m flattered, but she’s not
really my type.

SIMON
She’s not your type?

JAMES
There’s something slightly tragic
about her. Melanie on the other
hand...
 50.

SIMON
Stay away from Melanie...

JAMES
I’m only kidding. She’s underage
anyway. Just.

SIMON
I’m responsible for her.

JAMES checks out a girl who walks past.

2
JAMES

t
This may not be such a bad thing
anyway. I mean she’s obviously

n
pretty shallow - she doesn’t even

e
know me.

SIMON

m
Why did I even tell you?

n
They bump into HARRIS.

JAMES

tr a i
Hey, have you got change for the
machine?

te
HARRIS
Sure. I always keep change in my
desk.

E n
Simon makes a face. They go to Harris’s desk where there is
indeed a stash of change.

e
JAMES
(picking up with

v
Simon again)
Because you’re a good person. I

o
would have just gone as me.

lc
JAMES spots MELANIE across the office and winks at her.

A
JAMES (CONT’D)
But look, we have an arrangement.
I’ll help you tonight, and you
help me with the report for
Papadopoulos. We’re making some
real progress here. He should
know your name soon.

Off SIMON’S look we CUT TO:

EXT. STREET - EVENING

Simon and James walk along. Simon has his head down as
though concentrating while James speaks like a professor,
using plenty of hand motions.
 51.

JAMES
You need to have more of a
swagger to your walk. If possible
you want to kind of rotate your
pelvis.
(beat)
It lets them know you have a full
range of motion down there.

EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

2
Simon and James stand outside a restaurant watching as
people walk in.

t
James stares intensely into the eyes of a MODERATELY

n
ATTRACTIVE WOMAN and licks his lips slightly. The woman

e
looks at James as she enters the restaurant.

JAMES

m
(triumphant)
Did you see that? She was all

n
over me.

She was?
SIMON

JAMES

tr a i
te
Of course. It’s because of my lip
action.
(beat)

n
Show the tongue, but not like a
lizard. You try.

E
Another woman walks into the restaurant and Simon tries to

e
lick his lip, but when he does so it somehow looks
grotesque.

v
The woman huffs into the restaurant.

l co
EXT. PARK - NIGHT

Simon and James are again standing close to one another.

A
JAMES
When you’re standing next to
them, or sitting, you want to put
your hand on their lower back.
See?

James reaches out and puts his hand on Simon’s lower back.

JAMES (CONT’D)
Not the ass, they sometimes get
upset about that, but just above
them.
(beat)
(MORE)
 52.

JAMES (CONT’D)
It shows you’re interested and
you could push them down the
stairs at any moment.

SIMON
Why?

JAMES
Because you’ve got the leverage.

SIMON

2
(confused)
Here?

t
Simon puts his hand on James lower back. James swats him

n
away.

e
JAMES
Stop that. It’s gay.

m
SIMON

n
You just did that to me.

JAMES

tr a i
But it was me: you see the
difference? You can’t be doing
anything gay.

te
(beat)
No ice cream cones.

n
SIMON
I like ice cream.

E
JAMES

e
Of course: it’s delicious. Ice
cream is fine - in a cup - but a

v
cone is gay, unless you’re with a
woman at the time.

l co SIMON
(confused, but going
with it)

A
Anything else?

JAMES
No riding on a motorcycle with
another man.
(beat)
The only exceptions are drive by
shootings, purse snatching, or
bomb throwing. Anything else is
gay.

SIMON
You know a lot about this stuff.

JAMES
Defense wins championships.
 53.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Simon and James again walking side by side.

JAMES
You need to tell them how great
you are, all the time. Which
means you’ll have to make things
up.

SIMON

2
What if they find out?

t
JAMES
Make it hard to research. Like

n
you were the captain of a Jai

e
alai team in high school and a
brigadier general in the navy
with four confirmed kills.

m
Something like that.

n
SIMON

i
I don’t think anybody’d believe

tr a
that.

JAMES
Then change the subject, and deny

te
everything.

SIMON

n
I don’t know if this is me.

E
JAMES
How has being you worked?

e
(beat)
You understand everything I told

v
you?

o
Simon looks a bit overwhelmed.

l c
SIMON
I think so.

A
JAMES
Show me. Walk over to me and
talk.

Simon looks hesitant. Finally he starts walking toward

James with a strange, over-pronounced swagger while licking
his lips furiously. He looks ridiculous.

SIMON
Hello, there. I did three tours
with the merchant marines.

James smiles and nods at him proudly.

 54.

JAMES
This just might work.

INT. RESTAURANT - EVENING

SIMON sits opposite HANNAH in a restaurant.

He looks very uncomfortable. HANNAH shifts in her seat.

It is silent for a long, long time.

2
SIMON(V.O.)
You’re fucking this up. Say

t
something. Just say something.
Anything. How can you be fucking

n
this up so badly?

e
We see Hannah play with her food.

m
SIMON (CONT’D)
(to Hannah)

n
I used to be an Olympic swimmer.

tr a i
SIMON(V.O.) (CONT’D)
Go to the bathroom now.

SIMON (CONT’D)

te
Would you excuse me?

INT. RESTAURANT BATHROOM - EVENING

E n
SIMON/JAMES goes into one of the cubicles. JAMES is there
waiting for him. He has a small radio transmitting device
and headphones.

e
JAMES

v
What the fuck?

o
SIMON

lc
I can’t do this with you shouting
in my ear.

A
Simon takes an earpiece out of his ear, and starts removing
a clip microphone from underneath his clothes.

JAMES
Was your plan to spend the entire
evening mute? I thought we’d
planned this.

SIMON
She’d know I wasn’t you if I kept
opening my mouth. Even when I
said hello I saw her fill with
doubt.
 55.

JAMES
Did you even jam your knee
between her thigh like I
suggested?
(exasperated)
This’d be going fine if you’d say
what I tell you to.

SIMON
Like that I want her well-lubed
for later? I can’t say things

2
like that.

t
JAMES
That’s why you live alone with a

n
telescope.

e
(beat)
That was cruel. I’m sorry. It’s
just I really want this to work

m
out, and it’s frustrating me.
Come on, let’s try again.

i n
SIMON

tr a
I’m not going back up there. You
go.

JAMES

te
Are you kidding? After what
you’ve done? That’s sending me to
my death.

E n SIMON
We can find out what it is she
likes about you. Then I could try

e
to be more like that on the next
date if there’s a next date.

v
JAMES

o
Fine. But I’m not wearing that

c
thing.

l
JAMES indicates the microphone/transmitter.

A
JAMES (CONT’D)
You can watch. Isn’t that what
you prefer?

SIMON
What’s that meant to mean?

JAMES
I’m just messing with you.

SIMON
I happen to have very serious
feelings for this person.
 56.

JAMES
Hey - I’m trying to help. Do you
think I like spending my entire
fucking evening in the toilet?

SIMON
I’m sorry.

JAMES
That’s alright. Remember: we’re
helping each other out, okay?

2
Give me your clothes. From now on
we should always wear the same

t
clothes.

n
They start undressing.

e
EXT. BATHROOM CUBICLE - CONTINUOUS

m
JAMES steps out, quickly followed by SIMON. A man washing
his hands at the sink double takes.

i n
INT. RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS

tr a
James and Simon get to the door leading back into the
restaurant. James peeks through it, but can’t see Hannah.

te
JAMES
Did you move tables?

n
SIMON
No-

E
Simon watches James walk into the restaurant and summon a

e
waiter.

v
The waiter points to the door.

o
JAMES glances at Simon, then turns and runs.

lc
SIMON pokes his head out more, trying not to be seen.

A
We see HANNAH collecting her coat by the front desk, on her
way out. She leaves just before JAMES gets there.

JAMES runs over and follows her out of the restaurant.

Simon creeps out from behind the door, still nervous of

being discovered.

He can see HANNAH and James engaged in a heated row

outside. It is raining, and Hannah’s starting to get
drenched. JAMES offers his coat, but she rejects it.

Hannah turns to leave, but James pulls her back to him. She
slaps his face, then he slaps hers. She looks completely
shocked. She starts to cry.
 57.

James hugs her. Hannah punches him from within the hug.

James leans in to kiss her, Hannah struggles before seeming

to submit completely.

The table at the front of the restaurant breaks out into

spontaneous applause. We see Hannah and James look back in
through the window, shy and coquettish, give an ironic bow
and skip off into the night.

We stay on Simon, perplexed and breathless. As he gathers

2
his wits and makes to follow, another waiter brings him the
cheque for the meal.

t
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT BLOCK - NIGHT

en
SIMON hurtles up the stairs to his apartment.

INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

m
He dashes over to the telescope and points it at HANNAH’S

n
APARTMENT, but the blinds, for the first time, are closed.

tr a
FIVE
i
te
EXT. OFFICE - DAY

E n
Simon waits for JAMES. He’s still angry and is half-pacing.
When he finally sees him, he bounds over to intercept.

e
SIMON
James!

v
James ignores him, swipes in using his card, skips through

o
the lobby and catches the elevator, just as the door is

c
closing.

l
He gives Simon a wink.

A
GUARD
(to Simon)
Visitors need to sign in.

SIMON
(frustrated)
I’m not a visitor.

He starts filling out the form, Simon looks up and sees

Hannah, a dreamy look on her face.

SIMON (CONT’D)
Hannah! Wait up!

But she’s gone.

 58.

INT. OFFICE. PHOTOCOPYING DEPT - DAY

SIMON watches HANNAH from afar. She seems very happy.

He approaches the desk, holding a few sheets of A4. Again

Liz is there to greet him.

SIMON
Hi. I know the policy, but my
printer’s actually broken.

2
LIZ
Hannah! That creepy guy’s here

t
again.

n
Hannah comes over, still in a good mood.

e
HANNAH
Hi, creepy guy.

m
SIMON

n
Hey Hannah. I was just saying to

i
your colleague that I know the

tr a
policy, but that my printer’s
broken -

HANNAH

te
Do you want me to call and get it
fixed?

n
SIMON
Sorry -

E
HANNAH

e
What’s your desk number?

v
She’s picked up the phone and is already dialling.

o
VOICE ON PHONE (O.S.)

c
Hello? Tech support

l
Simon quickly cuts off the phone.

A
SIMON
That’s okay. I need a copy pretty
urgently. And you know how long
those guys take. Like forever.

HANNAH
I’ve found them to be very
timely.

SIMON
Oh yeah- you had your date with
James last night. Did you? Was
that last night?

There’s a pause.
 59.

HANNAH
Do you want me to photocopy
these?

SIMON
Yes, please. That’s why I’m here.

Hannah goes over to the machine. Simon has an agonising

wait while his papers go through. Hannah returns with them.

HANNAH

2
One copy.

t
SIMON
So how did it go?

en
HANNAH
How did what go?

m
SIMON
With James. I just wanted to ask.

i n
HANNAH isn’t about to help out.

tr a
SIMON (CONT’D)
It’s just seeing that I made the
introduction-

te
HANNAH
Thanks for the introduction -

E n SIMON
I just wanted to make sure -

e
HANNAH
That he didn’t take advantage of

v
me?

o
There is a long pause.

l c
SIMON
Did he? Do that? Because I feel

A
sort of responsible. Seeing as I
made the introduction.

HANNAH
That’s very kind of you.

SIMON
But you’re okay?

HANNAH
I’m okay.

SIMON
I’m pleased. That’s a relief.
Good.
 60.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Simon marches to his desk with the papers. He looks around

for James, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

INT. COFFE ROOM - DAY

Simon sees Harris banging the machine.

HARRIS
Hey, do you have any change for

2
this thing?

t
SIMON
Have you seen James?

en
HARRIS
He’s in with Papadopoulos.

m
SIMON
Papadopoulos?

i n
HARRIS

tr a
I know. Do you think he’ll take
us with him?

SIMON

te
What are you talking about?

HARRIS

n
When he’s promoted?

E
Harris gives the machine another violent whack.

e
INT. OFFICE - DAY

v
Simon sits at his desk. JAMES is still not there. He looks
through a report that’s sitting on his desk, but he can’t

o
really concentrate.

l c
He gets up and wanders up towards Papadopoulos’s offices.
He smiles at the secretary. She does not return it.

A
Then he hears voices come closer to the door. He scampers
back to his desk.

He takes a clear plastic folder from an office supply table

and sits down to cover the project that’s lying on his
desk.

James suddenly appears next to Simon.

JAMES
Do you have those papers, Simon?
Mr. Papadopoulos is waiting.

Simon looks at him.

 61.

JAMES (CONT'D)
The papers.

James says 'the papers” very slowly as if Simon is deaf or

stupid.

SIMON
What the hell happened last
night?

JAMES

2
We can talk about that later. I’m
just about to get promoted, which

t
means you’re about to get
promoted, so why don’t we get the

n
papers to Papadopoulus before he

e
puts Harris in charge.

SIMON can sees Papadopoulos looking over from near his

m
office. They start talking in hurried whispers with fixed
smiles on their faces, for the benefit of Papadopoulos.

i n
JAMES (CONT’D)

tr a
This was the plan, right? We were
going to run this place.

SIMON

te
We had a plan last night.

JAMES

n
Which you fucked up and I had to
save with some brilliant

E
improvisation and anyway I said
let’s talk about that later so

e
stop being such a freak I’m not
even attracted to her.

v
SIMON

o
(reluctant)

c
Okay.

l
JAMES

A
The papers.

SIMON
Okay.

JAMES
Some time today...

SIMON
I'm just putting a cover on them.

JAMES
Let me give you a hand.

And with that James holds forth his hand as though offering
a truce.
 62.

Simon, still fiddling with the report absently grabs the

offered hand.

The hand comes off in Simon's. It is a fake hand. James

cackles, uproariously.

JAMES (CONT'D)
But seriously, you need some
help?

Simon shakes his head, annoyed. He is finishing putting the

2
cover on the report.

t
SIMON
No no. That's all right. It's

n
finished and I just have to...

e
Simon tries to put on the cover, but only uses one hand,
holding the fake hand James has given him.

m
JAMES

n
Oh please. Let me do it.

tr a i
James reaches for the project. Simon tries to grab it and
they both start pulling, trying to get it out of each
other's hands.

te
SIMON
(more insistent)
No. Really, it's okay. I can do

n
it.

E
Papadopoulos is really staring now.

e
Simon stops, hesitant to make a scene in front of
Papadopoulos.

v
Simon turns to pick up the project and realizes that it is

o
gone. James has taken it and is walking toward

c
Papadopoulos.

l
Simon trots after him.

A
Papadopoulos takes the report from James, as Simon stands
dumbfounded.

PAPADOPOULOS
Great work, James. It's good to
see you at it already. That's
the kind of initiative I like.

JAMES
Thank you, sir. I just think that
a man should do the best he can
possibly do at the work he's
doing.
 63.

PAPADOPOULOS
(smiling)
That's the spirit.

SIMON
But, sir.

PAPADOPOULOS
I don’t know what I’m paying you
people for. This guy just
started.

2
(to Simon)
Why can’t you work like that?

t
SIMON

n
Sir! I think I have to make

e
things clear.
(beat)
Umm...

m
James smiles at Papadopoulos with a pitying look.

i n
PAPADOPOULOS

tr a
I’m not angry with you, son, I
just hope you can raise the level
of your performance. Hell, why
don’t you work with James here.

te
See if you can help him put
something together.

n
Simon looks shell-shocked, he is so angry he can barely
speak.

E
SIMON

e
I can, I...will.

v
Papadopoulos finally seems to really look at Simon. He
notices the hand that James gave Simon.

lc o PAPADOPOULOS
What’s this, a joke?

A
SIMON
What?

PAPADOPOULOS
That is Mr. Steven's hand!

SIMON
What?

Papadopoulos grabs it from Simon.

PAPADOPOULOS
I don't know what kind of sick
game you're playing, friend, but
I won't have any of it.
(MORE)
 64.

PAPADOPOULOS (CONT'D)
Mr. Stevens has been looking all
over for that.
(beat)
Don’t move, I’m armed.

Papadopoulos and James laugh at the joke and Simon turns

around and sees Mr. Stevens, sitting at a cubicle. He only
has a stump where his hand should be.

And with that Papadopoulos takes the hand to Mr. Stevens.

James follows Papadopoulos back into the office, he turns

2
to give Simon a smile.

t
Just before the door whooshes shut, Simon can see The
Colonel walk up to JAMES and grab him warmly by the hand.

en
INT. OFFICE - EVENING

Simon is one of the last people there. We time fade. Simon

m
is alone. Still no sign of James.

n
He walks up once more to Papadopoulos’s office. He listens

i
to the door. Nothing.

tr a
Confused, he leaves the office.

INT. OFFICE LOBBY - EVENING

te
Simon approaches the guard.

n
SIMON
You didn’t see anyone leave -

E
GUARD

e
I see a lot of people leave.

v
SIMON
No, I meant a specific person.

o
James Simon.

lc
(beat)
He kind of looks like me.

A
GUARD
No offence, but I doubt I’d
notice someone who looks like
you.

INT. SUBWAY TRAIN - EVENING

Simon stands on an empty train carriage, looking at himself

in the window, distorted and strafed with amber.

INT. OLD-FOLKS HOME - NIGHT

Simon stands a few feet away from his seated mother. His
mother looks very bad, pale and thin, much worse than when
we first saw him.
 65.

A few feet away the gypsy woman is looking at him.

SIMON
Mother, is it possible? Did I
have a twin?

She doesn’t respond.

MOTHER
This used to be my favorite song.

2
SIMON
There’s no song playing. And

t
besides, you hate music.

n
MOTHER

e
(whisper)
I think the nurse stole my
undershirt.

m
SIMON

n
She didn’t steal your undershirt.

i
Are you listening to me?

tr a
MOTHER
She keeps looking at me through
her shifty eyes.

te
Simon, frustrated, tries to stop one orderly who walks by,
and then another.

E n
Finally someone comes over to speak to him.

STAFF

e
You know, I’m busy.

v
SIMON
Yes, of course, but it’s about my

o
mother.

c
(beat)

l
She seems worse. She hasn’t even
insulted me.

A
The man looks annoyed, he flips through some pages of a
chart.

STAFF
Oh yes, she had some problem with
blood circulation to the brain
yesterday.

SIMON
Like a stroke!

STAFF
We prefer to call them cerebral
incidents. They happen all the
time.
(MORE)
 66.

STAFF (CONT'D)
(beat)
Cheers!

And the staff member moves off.

Simon walks over to his mother, her face seems slightly

stricken, she stares at him, angrily, through one focused
eye.

GYPSY WOMAN
Le Mark!

2
Simon turns around, surprised again by the woman.

t
SIMON

n
What?

e
GYPSY WOMAN
You have the mark. I see it in

m
you. You’re half a man.
(beat)

n
A person cannot be two, but one.

i
(hissing)

tr a
You must cut him out!

SIMON
You are talking about him, aren’t

te
you?

She leans forward and taking something from beneath her

n
blankets she hands it to Simon.

E
SIMON (CONT’D)
What do I do? Won’t you tell me?

e
The woman turns away and we hear a clattering from Simon’s

v
mother.

o
He looks at her, then down at his hands. The woman has

c
given him a bone-handled knife. On the bottom we see a

l
carved image of two snakes, each in the act of consuming
the other.

A
GYPSY WOMAN
The double, must die.

EXT. SIMON’S APARTMENT BLOCK - NIGHT

Simon walks back through the enormous complex of tall

apartment buildings. His feet click loudly as he walks. He
looks almost like the last man on a dead planet.

INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Simon sits at his bed. He looks exhausted. He takes the

bone-handled knife from his pocket and stares at it for a
moment.
 67.

He places it into the drawer by his bed.

INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - EVENING

Simon is studying James’s apartment through his telescope.

He has been doing this for some time. There is no one
there. Briefly, he tilts down to Hannah’s apartment.

Hannah’s watching the Sci-Fi show on TV, but occasionally

she gets up and paces about. She seems agitated.

2
On her walls we see several more pictures that Hannah has
drawn of James. There appear to be about a dozen of them.

t
Simon sighs.

n
Suddenly she seems to hear a noise. Tentatively, she pads

e
over to the door. She tries to listen to something that is
happening outside. She opens the door but there is no one
there.

m
Simon pans back up to James’s window, just in time to see

n
him tip toe in with MELANIE, they’re giggling. They shut

i
the door and start kissing.

tr a
James keeps motioning for her to be quiet.

Melanie goes over to the window and starts to draw the

te
blinds, but James stops her, making sure they’re open.

As he’s kissing Melanie, he seems to glance over to Simon’s

n
window, deliberately putting on a show.

E
Simon covers his mouth with disbelief. He can’t watch.

e
He thinks to himself, muttering.

v
He goes to the phone and stabs in a number.

o
HANNAH (O.S.)

c
Hello?

l
SIMON

A
Hannah? It’s James. Come up. I
want you.

He replaces the receiver and winces to himself.

SIMON (CONT’D)
She’ll never buy it.

Simon returns to the window and watches Hannah beautify

herself.

She decides between a couple of different outfits, tries

one pair of shoes, then another, decides on a dress, before
taking off the dress and putting a coat on over her
underwear.
 68.

She checks herself in a full length mirror by the door,

messes up her hair and walks out the door.

Simon swings the telescope to James’ flat. He can’t find

where James or Melanie are.

After a beat, there’s obviously a doorbell sound, because

James gets up. He’s naked.

He grabs a robe and shuffles Melanie off into the bathroom.

2
James answers the door and sees Hannah, who’s allowed her
coat to fall open. There’s a clearly awkward exchange as

t
James tries to shoo her out of his apartment. Hannah
gathers up her coat, upset.

en
JAMES returns and sees MELANIE. They go through a virtual
re-enactment of the same pantomime between James and Hannah
outside the restaurant. But this time it ends with, Melanie

m
storming out.

n
Simon watches with delight.

INT. DINER - NIGHT

tr a i
Simon and James sit next to one another at the counter of
an old style diner. They read the menu in silence.

te
Simon looks a little uncomfortable but James seems to be
composed.

E n
The waitress comes over with a pad.

WAITRESS

e
What’ll it be?

v
SIMON
Um...I’ll have a coke and a

o
bagel, please.

l c
WAITRESS
We ran out of bagels.

A
Simon is flustered and looks through the menu again.

SIMON
Well, I guess I’ll just have a
coke then.

WAITRESS
A coke. And you?

JAMES
I’d like a coffee.

WAITRESS
A coffee.
 69.

JAMES
And some scrambled eggs.

WAITRESS
We don’t serve breakfast in the
evening.

JAMES
Why not?

WAITRESS

2
It says so on the menu?

t
JAMES
Do you still have eggs here?

en
WAITRESS
Yeah.

m
JAMES
And do you still have a frying

n
pan?

Yes.

tr a
WAITRESS

JAMES i
te
Then do me a favor and make me
some scrambled eggs.

n
Simon looks very embarrassed and the waitress sighs.

E
WAITRESS
Fine. Anything else?

e
JAMES

v
Bacon.

o
WAITRESS

c
Bacon.

l
JAMES

A
And toast.

WAITRESS
Toast.

JAMES
And get me a glass of milk too.

WATIRESS
Anything else.

JAMES
That’s it.

WATIRESS
You sure?
 70.

James hits his hand on the table and rattles the plates.

JAMES
Just get me the damn food.

The waitress scowls and heads off. Simon looks at James as

though he’s an alien.

JAMES (CONT’D)
Simon, I want to thank you for
last night. Because after I

2
caught up with Melanie in the
corridor, we had the best make up

t
sex I’ve ever had. In the
corridor.

en
SIMON
I want you to stop seeing Hannah.

m
JAMES
I see.

i n
SIMON

tr a
And I want you to stop messing
round with Melanie.

Simon shrugs.

te
JAMES
What else?

E n SIMON
And I want you tell Papadopoulos
that I’ve been doing all of your

e
work since you got here.

v
PAUSE.

o
JAMES

c
You see, if I do all that, you’d

l
have to explain to Papadopoulos
some of your teaching methods.

A
He fishes some Polaroids out of his jacket pocket and puts
them on the table. The pictures are of James and Melanie in
compromising positions. It is mostly kissing and groping.

The waitress comes over and fills up their coffee cups. She
looks at the pictures and then tuts at Simon.

SIMON
(hissing)
What the hell do you think you’re
doing? Put them away -
 71.

JAMES
And before you imagine you can
pin this on me, who do you think
Papadopoulos is going to believe?
Some dink he still calls Stanley
or this guy?

He slides over a card.

Simon picks it up. It is a photo ID of JAMES’s smiling

face. Underneath it says, ‘JAMES SIMON: SENIOR EXECUTIVE’.

2
Simon puts the card back on the table and slides it back

t
over to James.

n
He doesn’t have the energy to speak.

e
The waitress comes over with the order.

m
WAITRESS
We’re out of coke.

i n
JAMES starts eating hungrily.

tr a
JAMES
Oh: I need your key.
(beat)

te
To your apartment. While I don’t
exactly care about Hannah, I
don’t want to be completely

n
insensitive. You see -
(he leans closer)

E
Melanie’s a bit of a screamer.

e
SIMON looks horrified.

v
JAMES (CONT’D)
It’ll be easier if we use your

o
place. .

l c
Utterly defeated, Simon fishes out a key from his pocket
and slides it over to JAMES.

A
JAMES (CONT’D)
You should be proud: every time
she comes, she shouts out your
name.

JAMES looks at an attractive woman, sitting next to them.

JAMES (CONT’D)
Hey. I’m James.

SIMON looks up at the TV. The Sci-Fi serial is playing.

SCI-FI DETECTIVE
Get up. Get up! Or do you want to
die on your knees like a snake?
 72.

SIX

EXT. SIMON’S APARTMENT BLOCK - EVENING

SIMON paces outside his building. It’s cold and he’s

shivering a little. He looks up to his window and mutters
to himself. The light is on.

Later- he sees the light go out.

2
He walks up the stairwell, hiding in a nook until Melanie

t
and James pass him. He climbs up the stairs.

n
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

e
Simon jumps up several times and tries to grab something
from the door sill. He eventually scrapes a key off the

m
sill and picks it up. He drags himself into the room and
immediately strips the bed of its sheets.

i n
INT. OFFICE - DAY

tr a
SIMON is sitting at his desk. He is typing at his computer.
We see: ‘REGRESSION ANALYSIS: A PROPOSAL BY SIMON JAMES.
Much of the work we do here is inefficient, and could be

te
vastly improved. In this report I will outline several keys
ways in which efficiency...’

n
HANNAH
Simon?

E
Simon is taken off guard, surprised to see Hannah in his

e
domain. She looks upset and nervous.

v
HANNAH (CONT’D)
Do you think I can come to your

o
apartment tonight?

c
(beat)

l
I know it seems weird - it’s just
- I think James is seeing someone

A
else.

SIMON
Right...

HANNAH
- and he told me that you
sometimes watch my apartment from
a telescope in your room - which
I’m fine with - I don’t care -
it’s actually reassuring in a
strange way -

SIMON
Do you want to go to the coffee
room, it’s a little public -
 73.

HANNAH
- and I thought it could be
interesting to find out exactly
who else he’s seeing.

Simon stands up and starts to usher her into a corridor,

away from the main room.

HANNAH (CONT’D)
Not that he’s even trying to hide
it -

2
SIMON

t
Does that mean he’s seeing you.
Because I wasn’t sure-?

en
HANNAH
I can hear them above me in that
room of his.

m
SIMON

n
He’s not a very good guy.

tr a
HANNAH

i
Which I know and always have
known, but to be made a fool of
by...

te
SIMON
A villain. It’s not your fault.

E n HANNAH
Of course it is! I knew what he
was. But then he’d say something

e
about how he knew me. That he
could tell I was a lonely person -

v
because he knew what it was like
to be lonely and lost and

o
invisible. Like someone could

lc
push their hand straight through
you, and I’d just melt!

A
Hannah reaches out, distraught, and puts her hand on
Simon’s chest.

SIMON
I think you should definitely not
see him.

HANNAH
(recovering)
You think you’re better? I’ve
seen you with Melanie.
(beat)
 74.

HANNAH (CONT’D)
Your apartment’s right opposite
mine so you might want to close
the blinds next time you
interfere with a minor.

Simon is petrified for a moment.

SIMON
She’s nearly seventeen.

2
HANNAH
Fuck you, Polanski. Don’t worry -

t
I’m not going to tell - I just
didn’t think you had it in you.

en
She starts crying again, and leans in to Simon.

HANNAH (CONT’D)

m
I just feel so fucking stupid to
have fallen for it all.

i n
He hugs her, nervous that someone from the office will

tr a
intervene.

HANNAH (CONT’D)
(really crying)

te
He told me he felt like
Pinnochio. I always loved that
movie. I just wanted to help him

n
and look after him!

E
We see Simon react, looking out over her shoulder.

e
HANNAH (CONT’D)
Don’t touch me! Why are you

v
touching me?

o
SIMON

c
I don’t know -

l
HANNAH

A
So can I come to your place?
Tonight?

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Simon sits at his desk. He’s working on his regression

analysis report. James appears and sits on his desk

JAMES
What are you doing?

SIMON
It’s private. Can you not sit on
my desk?
 75.

JAMES
I need the key tonight.

SIMON
Again?

JAMES
What can I say?

SIMON
Can’t you use your place tonight?

2
I have someone coming over.

t
JAMES laughs.

n
SIMON (CONT’D)

e
I do. What’s so funny about that?

JAMES

m
Hey. Mr. Papadopoulos!

n
Mr. Papadopoulos looks over.

tr a i
JAMES (CONT’D)
Simon has something he wanted to
show you.

te
Papadopoulos starts to waddle towards them.

PAPADOPOULOS

n
This better be good.

E
SIMON
Key -

e
SIMON (CONT’D)

v
I can’t...

o
Papadopoulos gets closer.

l c
JAMES
Key.

A
SIMON
No.

Still closer. JAMES let’s a picture of him and MELANIE

float down onto the desk, it tumbles onto the floor. Simon,
puts his foot on it.

JAMES
I have more.

SIMON
Fine.
 76.

JAMES
I’ll get a copy cut. Save future
confusion.

James takes the key and scoots off, leaving Papadopoulos

with Simon.

PAPADOPOULOS
Well?

SIMON

2
Er... Nothing. Sorry.

t
PAPADOPOULOS
You need to shape up, Stanley. I

n
want to see some real work from

e
you.

SIMON

m
Actually I’m working on something
at the moment - something I think

n
could help efficiency in the way-

tr a i
PAPADOPOULOS
Don’t mistake my kindness for
weakness.

te
He waddles away.

EXT. APARTMENT BLOCK - EVENING

E n
Simon is pacing outside his apartment. The light is on.
He’s urging them to hurry up.

e
Hannah approaches. Simon steels himself.

v
SIMON
Look, tonight’s tricky.

lc o HANNAH
Come on. I’m not in the mood

A
SIMON
I’m sorry, it’s not possible.

HANNAH
You’ve been stalking me for as
long as I’ve known you and now
you won’t let me into your
apartment?

SIMON
I arranged to see Melanie
tonight.
(beat)
I’m outside now because I have to
sneak her in the service entrance
so the doorman doesn’t us.
 77.

HANNAH
You’re a snake.

She shakes her head and walks away.

EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS

Over music, we see SIMON wandering around the city at

night.

He goes to the Bridge.

2
He has a coffee in a diner.

t
He sits at a bench. An old, frightening looking man sits

n
next to him. Simon gets up.

e
He tries to sleep in a doorway but is moved on by a
policeman

m
INT. OFFICE LOBBY - MORNING

i n
Simon turns up at work, and signs in looking totally

tr a
dishevelled. Hannah walks by him with a look of contempt.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

te
Simon’s at his desk, staring, crushed with tiredness.

He sees JAMES and MELANIE flirting outside his office. She

n
laughs loudly at his jokes and leans provocatively against
the door.

E
EXT. VARIOUS - NIGHT

e
Simon walks through the city. At one point his shadow

v
briefly seems like it’s moving independently of him. He
turns round and sees the frightening man who sat next to

o
him on the bench.

lc
EXT. APARTMENT DUMPSTER - NIGHT

A
Simon, out of habit, looks through the dumpster outside of
Hannah’s apartment.

Simon frantically pieces a few torn up strips of paper

together. They are pictures of James, but somehow this time
they look more like Simon.

EXT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Simon watches Hannah enter her apartment from near the

entrance to his. We see he wants to talk to her but holds
back. She turns and sees him, she looks up to his
apartment, she sees JAMES walk to the window, he has no top
on, MELANIE approaches him and nuzzles his neck.

She looks back at Simon.

 78.

She walks over to Simon and slaps him hard on the face.

HANNAH
Who are you?

SIMON
(hesitant)
I’m sorry, I haven’t done
anything.

HANNAH

2
You haven’t, have you? You don’t
do anything.

t
Simon doesn’t say anything and Hannah turns, going back to

n
her apartment. Simon puts his hand to his face.

e
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT DOOR - NIGHT

m
Simon bangs on the door. There’s no answer. We just hear
giggling.

i n
He bangs on the door again.

tr a
JAMES opens the door, brandishing a knife. He launches at
Simon, knocking him to the ground. James straddles him and
runs the knife along Simon’s face.

te
JAMES
What did I tell you? What did I

n
tell you about disturbing me?

E
Simon is terrified. He looks closely at the knife - with
disbelief. On the bottom we see carved a picture of a snake

e
eating another snake.

v
SIMON
Where did you get that?

lc o JAMES
What’s yours is mine.

A
SIMON
None of it’s yours.

JAMES
You want it back?

James rests the knife on Simon’s Adam’s apple and gives it

a quick flick. It starts to bleed.

JAMES (CONT’D)
Have it.

He throws the knife down next to Simon.

 79.

JAMES (CONT’D)
Now, take care of yourself, we’re
in this together.

James slams the door shut.

MELANIE (O.S.)
Who was that?

JAMES (O.S.)
Oh - that James idiot...

2
Simon touches his neck and looks at the blood on his hand.

t
He looks at the knife on the floor.

n
EXT. STREET - NIGHT

e
Simon walks down the street late at night. Many people are
out, drunken and loud. He has been drinking, and looks a

m
little unsteady.

n
EXT. UNDERPASS - NIGHT

tr a i
Simon seems to be walking in a world of shadows. He hums
quietly to himself and we hear footsteps behind him.

VAGRANT

te
You have a cigarette?

Simon turns and sees three dirty looking men following him.

n
They seem ominous.

E
SIMON
I don’t smoke.

e
VAGRANT

v
You lying?

o
SIMON

c
Fuck you.

l
Simon, drunk, seems to smile to himself as the men descend

A
on him. They hit him and Simon collapses in a heap. They
begin to kick at him and hit him in the face.

Simon almost seems to smile, as though he is floating out

of his body.

VOICE
Stop it, I know this guy.

The men mutter and move away. Simon is helped to his feet,
we’re not sure by whom.

EXT. BENCH - NIGHT

Simon is sitting with the frightening man. It’s clear that

they’re familiar with one another now, almost friends.
 80.

Simon has bought some food for them both. His face is
marked up with dried blood. They eat side by side.

FRIGHTENING MAN
In Russia we have a story. Two
snakes are born, brothers. After
a few months they grow and they
shake the skin off so they can
grow bigger. One snake he says it
hurts too bad. So he’s not going
to eat no more. Just enough to

2
live, so he doesn’t have to get a
new skin. The other snake, he

t
eats everything, he wants to get
bigger, so he eats everything he

n
can, and he grows strong.

e
SIMON
And what happens? To the snakes?

m
FRIGHTENING MAN

n
The big snake, he eats his

i
brother, the one who doesn’t

tr a
grow. He becomes the biggest
snake.

INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT BLOCK - LATER

te
Simon tries to sleep in the stairwell of his apartment
block. He is woken up by seeing MELANIE and JAMES leave. He

n
collects the key from above the apartment door.

E
He looks around his apartment - it’s a mess. Stuck between
the frame and the mattress, Simon finds a pair of

e
handcuffs. He picks them up and stares at them. He places
them, along with the snake-handled knife, in the drawer

v
next to his bed. To his disbelief, there’s ANOTHER snake-
handled knife already in the drawer.

l co
He clears up some of the stuff lying around. He goes to the
bathroom and sees the mark on his neck, it’s ugly and
bruised. He cleans it and covers it with a plaster.

A
The rest of Simon’s face is bruised as well, including a
dark and ugly black eye.

INT. OFFICE - MORNING

Simon, his face bruised and battered walks through the

lobby. He’s stopped by a guard.

GUARD
Over here.

SIMON
I know, I have to sign the guest
book.
 81.

GUARD
Name?

SIMON
Simon James.

GUARD
I thought, so, you’re wanted in
worker services.

INT. SMALL OFFICE - DAY

2
Simon sits across from a man with a tiny bow-tie. The man

t
smacks his gum.

n
OFFICE WORKER

e
You don’t exist anymore.

SIMON

m
Excuse me.

n
OFFICE WORKER

i
You’re no longer in the system.

tr a
You’re gone.

SIMON
I work here. I am sitting in this

te
chair, am I not?

OFFICE WORKER

n
I smell you.

E
SIMON
(seething)

e
I’ve had some problems with my
apartment.

v
(beat)
Put me back into the system.

lc o OFFICE WORKER
I can’t do that.

A
SIMON
Why not?

OFFICE WORKER
Doesn’t work like that. You
either exist, or you don’t.
(beat)
You’re welcome to carry on
working here, it’s just we won’t
be able to pay you anymore.

INT. SIMON’S CUBICLE - DAY

Simon hasn’t even looked through the papers piled at his

desk, instead keeping his eyes solely focused on James’
desk. It is empty.
 82.

HARRIS
You alright, buddy?

Simon jumps to attention.

SIMON
Yeah, thanks Harris.

HARRIS
It’s got to be tough on you.

2
SIMON
Yeah, yeah I guess it is.

t
HARRIS

n
I got this book for you.

e
Harris hands Simon a book whose title is, ‘Conquering
Substance Abuse.’

m
HARRIS (CONT’D)

n
James told us about

i
your...problems.

tr a
SIMON
Thanks Harris. But I don’t...

te
HARRIS
You’re welcome. You need to
finish it in the next week

n
though, it’s only returnable
through Friday.

E
SIMON

e
Okay.

v
HARRIS
I was gonna ask you... But this

o
might not be the best time.

l c
SIMON
Yeah, I’ll help you.

A
HARRIS
Oh, thanks bud. If you could have
it ready by tomorrow.

SIMON
Fine. I don’t like you at all,
but you’re the only thing close
to a friend that I have here.

HARRIS
I feel the same way about you. I
just need to warn you though, I
think you’re like, on some kind
of probation.
(MORE)
 83.

HARRIS (CONT'D)
You know: you’ve been showing up
late, smelling kind of bad.

SIMON
Where is James?

Simon starts to walk back towards his desk.

HARRIS
I think he’s in his office now.

2
SIMON
He has an office?

t
HARRIS

n
Yeah, Papadopoulos is pretty

e
impressed with him. Apparently
he’s written this incredible
report on how to increase

m
efficiency in the department.

n
Simon doesn’t even change expression.

tr a i
HARRIS (CONT’D)
Hey: do you know what regression
analysis is?

te
EXT. JAMES’ OFFICE - A LITTLE LATER

James, indeed has a new office. Simon storms past the

n
secretary.

E
INT. JAMES OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

e
Simon opens the door. An irritated secretary is behind him.

v
SECRETARY
Mr Simon is in an important

o
meeting...

l c
James, leaning on the edge of an enormous desk, is
finishing telling a joke. He seems extremely comfortable.

A
Three or four people from the department are there, as well
as Papadopolous and Mr. Stevens.

JAMES
So two Chinese virgins get
married right? And it’s the night
of the wedding and they just
finished boning.

The other workers chuckle, anticipating a joke.

JAMES (CONT’D)
And the husband says. That was
great, is there anything you’d
like to try? And the woman
says...
 84.

Simon approaches, looking pale as a sheet. He notices that

James has a plaster on his Adam’s apple: it looks exactly
the same as Simon’s.

He also has a black eye, the same as Simon’s.

SIMON
Mr. Papadopolous...

JAMES
Hold on a sec. The woman says,

2
I’d like to try a number sixty
nine.

t
(beat)
And the guy thinks for a second,

n
and he says, “You want Breef wiff

e
Broccori?!”

James roars with laughter and the other workers laugh as

m
well.

n
SIMON

i
Sir, I need to talk to you.

tr a
PAPADOPOULOS
What are you doing here?

te
SIMON
I work here.

n
PAPADOPOULOS
You have a lot of nerve.

E
Simon points at James.

e
SIMON

v
This man is a fraud!

o
PAPADOPOULOS

lc
You should talk! He’s the finest
new employee we’ve ever had.

A
SIMON
He doesn’t even know what we do
here!

They turn to James who remains calm.

JAMES
(shrugging,
confident)
Oh, you know. This and that...

PAPADOPOULOS
See there, calm down, son.

JAMES
He’s an idiot!
 85.

JAMES (CONT’D)
Sir, why don’t I help him out, he
seems like he’s...

SIMON
Stay away from me. Sir, this
can’t stand.

SIMON notices JAMES’ eye, and the bruise, which looks

identical to his.

2
SIMON (CONT’D)
Where’d you get that?

t
JAMES

n
Racketball. Hell of a sport, you

e
should try it, relieves stress.

PAPADOPOULOS

m
Son, I think you might be having
a psychotic...

i n
SIMON

tr a
I took his test for him. And he
ripped off my report. He’s out to
get me! He stole my face!

te
People exchange glances as though Simon is crazy.

Simon points at his face. He is wide-eyed and on the edge.

E n SIMON (CONT’D)
He stole it from me!

e
For the first time Simon has really lost it, really out of
control. His mild manner is gone. The whole room watches

v
him.

o
James walks forward and grabs Simon’s arm. Simon tears it

c
away from him.

l
SIMON (CONT’D)

A
Get off of me.

PAPADOPOULOS
You need to leave, now.

SIMON
(backing away from
everyone)
I need...
(catching breath)
To see the Colonel.

Simon seems to be losing steam, getting dizzy.

 86.

SIMON (CONT’D)
The Colonel will understand.
(breathing heavy)
I just need to see him.

PAPADOPOULOS
Son, you need some help.

We see JAMES press a button underneath his desk.

SIMON

2
I don’t need help!

t
JAMES
We all love you, Simon.

en
There is a big scrum, a wild fight, Simon swings wildly.
Somehow he manages to separate himself, and we see he has
somehow grabbed hold of Mr. Stevens’ hand.

m
Two security guards have now arrived.

i n
GUARD

tr a
Please come with me, sir.

SIMON
No.

te
He holds it out in a threatening manner. As though it were
a gun. His hand shakes.

E n
Stay back.
SIMON (CONT’D)

e
GUARD 2
Sir, you need to come with us.

v
Simon runs at JAMES again but his arms are pinned by the

o
security guards. They hold him down on the floor.

l c
PAPADOPOULOS
You’re a disgrace to the Colonel,

A
son!

JAMES walks up to Simon with menace, crouches and whispers

in his ear.

JAMES
Your time is over, Simon.

The guards grab Simon by the arms and Simon does not
protest as they lead him from the office.
 87.

SEVEN

EXT. BRIDGE - LATE AFTERNOON

SIMON is sitting on the edge of the bridge where he likes

to think. He has his small cardboard box on his lap.

He looks up at the monumental office buildings around him

and the cars rushing by below.

2
INT. ELEVATOR IN SIMON’S APARTMENT

t
Simon RIDES the elevator, holding his small box of office

n
possessions.

e
INT./EXT. SIMON’S APARTMENT

m
Simon retrieves his key from the top of the door sill and
wearily walks in.

i n
The place is disgusting: a feral den. There are empty

tr a
bottles and take away cartons on the floor alongside a pair
of soiled latex gloves.

The bed has been dragged to the middle of the room and has

te
a pair of handcuffs attached to it.

There is a video camera trained on a high tripod above the

n
bed linked to the television which, in turn, shows the
somehow frightening image of the bed. Simon switches the

E
camera off. The television then shows a the SCI-FI SHOW.

e
SCI-FI DETECTIVE
Ruins. This World is Ruins.

v
Simon switches off the television.

l co
Simon clears up the room and throws out various bits of
trash. When he’s finished, the room is almost completely
bare.

A
He checks his phone messages. Nothing.

He takes the handcuffs from the bed and pauses a moment

before placing them in a drawer by the bed. The same drawer
that now contains the snake-handled knives.

He sits down at a table and starts to write. We see the

start of the note

‘To whom it may concern. I have decided to end my life

because I no longer exist. A person should amount to
something and not float around this earth like a ghost.’ He
pauses for thought. He screws up the note and starts again.

‘To whom it may concern. I am a ghost.’

 88.

He then adds.

‘I am sorry.’

He folds up the note, places it in his top pocket and walks

to the window. He opens it and starts to climb out onto the
ledge when he sees something. He almost falls, but manages
to stumble back inside. He hurriedly locates his telescope
and peers through.

We see Hannah lying on the floor of her apartment,

2
completely inert. Simon pans and we see an empty bottle of
pills just by her out stretched hand.

t
SIMON puts his hand to his mouth.

en
INT. HOSPITAL - LATER

Hannah rests on a gurney. She is being wheeled quickly down

m
the hallway of a hospital. There is vomit on her top and
she seems to be in some pain. Simon is running along side,

n
trying to keep up.

SIMON

tr a i
Is she going to be okay? I don’t
know how many she swallowed.

te
DOCTOR
You need to leave now, sir.

n
SIMON
We’re married!

E
DOCTOR

e
Please, sir. We’ll take good care
of her.

v
SIMON reluctantly stops running and watches Hannah and the

o
medics disappear through some double doors.

lc
INT. HOSPITAL - LATER

A
SIMON is sitting in a waiting room. A doctor comes in.
SIMON looks up.

INT. HOSPITAL - CORRIDOR

DOCTOR
Has she done this kind of thing
before?

SIMON
No. I don’t think so.

DOCTOR
I’m afraid to say she’s had a
miscarriage.
(beat)
 89.

DOCTOR (CONT’D)
I’m sorry. Was this your first
pregnancy?

SIMON
Erm... yes.

DOCTOR
The good thing is, she’s healthy.
You’ve plenty of time to try
again. How long have you been

2
married?

t
SIMON
Not long. We’re about to be.

n
We’re engaged. But I just lost my

e
job so - I couldn’t buy her a
ring - and we had this fight so -

m
DOCTOR
Look after her.

i n
SIMON

tr a
I will. Thank you.

DOCTOR
You’ll work it out.

te
INT. HANNAH’S APARTMENT BLOCK

n
SIMON and a GROGGY-LOOKING HANNAH travel up in the lift
together.

E
INT. HANNAH’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

e
SIMON

v
Thanks for letting me stay. I’ve
been kind of sleeping rough

o
since... for a while anyway.

lc
He trails off.

A
SIMON (CONT’D)
They’re normally gone by the
morning...

INT. HANNAH’S BEDROOM - LATER

Hannah is under the covers. SIMON tentatively gets on to

the bed and lies on top of the duvet, as far from HANNAH as
he can be without falling off the side.

INT. HANNAH’S BEDROOM - NEXT DAY

SIMON wakes up.

He checks on Hannah - she’s still sleeping.

 90.

He creeps out of Hannah’s room and into the sitting room,

unable to believe he’s there. He searches in his bag and
fishes out a book. He places it next to Hannah.

INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT BLOCK - LATER

Simon rides the lift up to his apartment. He almost looks

happy.

INT. HANNAH’S BEDROOM - DAY

2
HANNAH wakes up and sees a book on the pillow next to her.
It’s the book that Simon left. She opens it and sees it

t
contains the various pictures that she’d drawn, torn up and
threw away. They have been carefully put back together

n
again. In between one of the pages is a note written by

e
Simon. It says: ‘I think these are really good - Simon.’

INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - DAY

m
Again, it’s a mess. But this time, Simon doesn’t seem to

n
mind as much.

He checks his messages.

We hear a voice.

tr a i
te
VOICE
Er, hi. This is a message for
Simon. We’ve been trying you for

n
some time now. If you wish to
attend your mother’s funeral it

E
starts at 11 am at the citizen’s
cemetery to the rear of the home.

e
Goodbye.

v
Then a beep.

o
EXT. CEMETARY - DAY

l c
Simon runs through an enormous cemetery. It is remarkably
ungreen and surrounded by huge buildings.

A
He looks around, frantic, trying to find where the funeral
is being held.

He approaches one grouping that looks like it could be for

his mother, all the people in attendance are quite old. A
priest is quietly saying a prayer and everyone’s eyes are
downcast. Unable to ask who this is for, he joins the group
and clasps his hands in front of him.

PRIEST
...He maketh me to lie down in
green pastures; He leadeth me
beside the still
waters.
He restoreth my soul;
(MORE)
 91.

PRIEST (CONT'D)
He leadeth me in the paths of
righteousness for His
name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death, I
will fear no
evil; for Thou art with me; Thy
rod and Thy staff, they comfort
me.
Thou preparest a table before me
in the presence of mine enemies;

2
Simon looks up, past the priest.

t
PRIEST (CONT’D)

n
Thou anointest my head with oil;

e
my cup runneth over.

Far in the distance, impossibly, he sees James and Melanie

m
standing next to another priest. Along with two or three
people from the old people’s home.

i n
James is putting soil on to the coffin. An old man in a

tr a
Napoleon hat is consoling him.

PRIEST (CONT’D)
Surely goodness and mercy shall

te
follow me all the days of my
life, and I will...

n
Simon, as angry as we’ve seen him, hurtles towards them.

E
PRIEST (CONT’D)
...dwell in the house of the Lord

e
forever.

v
We watch at a distance, as events unfold with grim
inevitability.

l co
James sees Simon approach and starts to back away.

OLD MAN

A
This is the crazy guy Simon told
us about?

JAMES
Look: I can get you help- but
this is a time for family.

MELANIE
What the fuck are you doing here?
His mother’s just died!

Simon launches at JAMES. Unlike in the office, the old

people assembled are unable to prise them apart. Simon
lands a great punch, right on James’s NOSE. James throws
his head back and squeals with pain. He drops to his knees.
 92.

SIMON
Get up... Get up off your knees.

For a brief moment, Simon looks heroic, but then he notices

his nose is bleeding. He checks it with his hand, and looks
a the blood on his fingers

Then, a strangely demented scream. It’s the (very old)

priest running towards him. Simon backs away, but the
priest manages to push him over and Simon falls backward
into a freshly dug grave.

2
On the verge of consciousness, staring straight up at the

t
sky, Simon sees the small congregation assemble at the
grave’s perimeter.

en
As James looks over the grave, a drop of blood falls from
his nose and splashes on to Simon’s face.

m
JAMES
Thank God mother didn’t live to

n
see this.

Melanie spits.

Simon blacks out.

tr a i
te
INT. GRAVE - MUCH LATER

It is now dusk. Simon wakes up.

E n
He feels a great pain at the front of his face. He touches
his nose - it’s agony.

e
He sits up and feels something dripping from this nose. He
puts his hand to his face and his fingers become sticky

v
with blood.

o
We see him think.

lc
He smiles.

A
We cut to Simon climbing out of the grave, an absolute
mess, looking half-crazy.

He runs up to a parked hearse and looks at his reflection

in the black mirror. He looks at his bruised nose with
delight, checking it from all angles.

EIGHT

EXT. STREETS VARIOUS - EARLY EVENING TO NIGHT

Simon runs. His face is smeared with blood. He is dirty

from the grave. He has a strangely joyous look on his face.
 93.

He runs and runs until he reaches the apartment complex

where he lives.

INT. APARTMENT LOBBY - NIGHT

SIMON runs in through the lobby and the janitor looks at

him suspiciously.

JANITOR
Who are you going to see?

2
SIMON
Fuck off.

t
JANITOR

n
(happy)

e
Oh, sorry James, didn’t recognize
you at first.

m
INT. - HANNAH’S APARTMENT

n
SIMON runs up to the door and rings the bell. HANNAH opens

i
the door. She is taken aback by how dishevelled he is.

tr a
Simon grabs her and kisses her.

SIMON

te
That’s all I ever wanted to do.
It’s funny how it happens isn’t
it? You go along, and along, and

n
along and then you just know.
(Hannah looks

E
shocked)
I noticed you the first moment I

e
saw you. And you recognized me
too, didn’t you?

v
HANNAH

o
I think so.

l c
SIMON
I don’t want to be a boy held up

A
by string. I don’t want to be
Pinocchio.

HANNAH
Simon, what happened to you?

SIMON
I want you to be safe and whole
and right. But I have something
to do.
(beat, firm)
From now on you’re going to need
to call me James. I’ll still be
Simon, but you need to call me
James.
 94.

He kisses her again.

SIMON (CONT’D)
Goodbye.

Simon turns around abruptly and leaves Hannah speechless.

EXT. APARTMENT BLOCKS - A LITTLE LATER

We see SIMON walking briskly to his apartment block. He

looks back at HANNAH’S APARTMENT.

2
INT. HANNAH’S APARTMENT

t
Hannah looks out of her window at SIMON.

en
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT

Gently, Simon opens the door.

m
In the dim light he can see James and Melanie sleeping on

n
his bed.

tr a i
Simon quietly locates JAMES’ trousers and takes JAMES’
APARTMENT KEY and IDENTITY CARD.

He finds his TUXEDO and silent changes into it. He puts the

te
keys and card into his pocket.

He approaches the bed and inches open the drawer in the

n
bedside table. In it are the snake-handled knives and the
pair of handcuffs. He removes the handcuffs.

E
Carefully, he locks James’ hand to the bed head.

e
He picks up one of the knives and runs the tip of it very

v
near, but not touching, James’ face before placing its tip
on James’ throat. He looks at JAMES’S SWOLLEN nose.

l co
In a quick move he removes the plaster on James’s Adam’s
apple. Underneath, is the same ugly pick gash as Simon has
on his.

A
The phone rings

James stirs. Simon rushes over and picks up. He is still

holding the knife.

SIMON
(whisper)
Yes.

HANNAH (O.S.)
It’s Hannah. Are you okay?

SIMON
(whisper)
I’m okay.
 95.

HANNAH
You left kind of abruptly. Can I
come over?

SIMON
(whisper)
Not right now

HANNAH
You’re not going to do something
stupid -

2
SIMON

t
I don’t think so. Stay in your
apartment.

en
He hangs up the phone and walks over to James, holding the
knife. He looks down at him.

m
INT. HANNAH’S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER

n
We see, from HANNAH’S POV SIMON running back across the

i
courtyard and entering the base of the apartment block.

tr a
INT. HANNAH’S APARTMENT BLOCK - STAIRWELL

Hannah opens her door and walks to the lift. She checks to

te
see if Simon is coming up.

Instead she hears him clatter up the stairs.

E n
She runs after him, but only catches up to see him
disappear into JAMES’ apartment. She bangs on the door.

e
INT. JAMES’ APARTMENT

v
Simon picks up the phone, as he holds it to his ear he
starts to change out of his clothes and into the tuxedo. We

o
hear Hannah banging outside the door.

lc
INT. JAMES’ APARTMENT

A
SIMON
Yes. I need an ambulance. How
long do you think it’ll take?
Okay. Good.

INT. STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS

HANNAH
Simon, what are you doing?

INT. JAMES’ APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Simon washes his face in the bathroom sink. He looks at

himself in the bathroom mirror.
 96.

He takes out the snake-handled knife, raises the blade of

the knife to his face and hesitates.

We see Simon draw the knife to a spot a fraction to the

side of his left eye.

He cuts himself deeply and we see blood.

INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

We briefly see JAMES on the bed. He twitches in his sleep.

2
INT. JAMES’ APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

t
We cut back to Simon, he has cut a deep gash into his face.

n
He looks at himself in the mirror.

e
He picks up a white flannel and presses it to his face to
stop the bleeding.

m
INT. STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS

i n
Hannah is running down the stairs.

tr a
INT. JAMES’ APARTMENT

Simon finishes off a note and pins it to his lapel pocket.

te
SIMON walks over to the window and calmly opens it. He
steps out onto the ledge. He looks down, and inches across,

n
as though he’s aiming for something. Once he’s found his
spot he waits.

E
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT

e
JAMES wakes up. His face is covered in blood. He tries to

v
get up, but the handcuffs prevent him. When he can’t find
the key. He starts to violently pull at them until they

o
come off. His wrist starts to bleed. Melanie wakes up,

c
groggy.

l
MELANIE

A
Simon, what are you doing?

She switches on the bedside lamp. James walks like an

automaton towards the window.

We hear the distant sound of an AMBULANCE approaching.

INT. JAMES’ APARTMENT

Simon stands calmly on the window ledge. He looks serene,

but notes the light now coming from his apartment. He looks
down, the ambulance is closer. He looks at his wrist, a
line of blood appears on it. He sucks the blood off,
staining his teeth.
 97.

EXT. HANNAH’S APARTMENT BLOCK

Hannah looks up at JAMES’ apartment, trying to see what’s

going on.

HANNAH
Simon! What are you doing?

She hears the ambulance siren.

INT. AMBULANCE

2
The drivers look around, trying to find where they’re meant

t
to be.

n
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT

e
James’ looks out and sees a shape in the window of his
apartment. He puts his eye to the telescope.

m
The image JAMES sees is very similar to the one that SIMON

n
saw of the man about to jump.

tr a i
Simon, dressed in a Dinner jacket, with a note pinned to
his lapel. He is holding a bloody flannel to his cheek. He
waves at JAMES.

te
JAMES waves back.

Simon jumps.

E n
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT

James watches as Simon falls.

e
MELANIE

v
Simon! You’re bleeding! Why are
you bleeding?

l co
The sound of the ambulance is now LOUD. JAMES looks down at
SIMON’S mangled body on the ground. He can see HANNAH next
to him and the ambulance pull into his view.

A
JAMES
I need to be in that ambulance.

EXT. HANNAH’S APARTMENT BLOCK - EVENING

SIMON is lying, twisted on the ground, blood leaking from

the back of his head. He looks barely alive.

In his POV, we see Hannah run in and crouch down next to

him. She is completely shocked.

She looks at the suicide not pinned to his lapel. We see

just the first line: ‘the pressures of being an executive
have caused me great distress’, and the last line,’James
Simon’
 98.

banging the chain of the handcuff with the base of the lamp

EXT. SIMON’S APARTMENT BLOCK

SIMON
You know what I’ve done?

HANNAH
I think so.

She looks at the long gash on the side of his face.

2
SIMON

t
I had to cut him out.

n
Behind her, in a rush, the medics arrive. They start

e
checking out the situation.

MEDIC

m
What’s his name, ma’am?

n
HANNAH

i
What’s his name?

tr a
MEDIC 2
It helps if we can call them by
their name. It can make all the

te
difference.

HANNAH takes a pause, as if trying to decide

E n HANNAH
His name is James.
(to Simon)

e
Your name is James, isn’t it?

v
They exchange a look. Simon nods.

o
SIMON

lc
(weakly)
My name is James.

A
SIMON is lifted up onto a stretcher. The medics take him to
the ambulance. Hannah walks along side with him.

MEDIC
You’re really lucky to be alive,
James. We’re going to get you to
a hospital straight away.

MEDIC 2
Someone tipped us off - must’ve
seen you were gonna jump
(beat)
If you’d been a foot to the
right, splat.

SIMON looks up and smiles.

 99.

Just as they’re about to get him into the ambulance, he

sees JAMES run out of the bottom of SIMON’S APARTMENT. They
exchange a look, before, all of a sudden, JAMES changes
expression. A sickly spurt of blood comes out of his mouth
and he drops, rigid, to the floor.

The medics put SIMON in the ambulance and slam the door
shot. They start to drive away.

No one else seems to have seen JAMES.

2
VOICE
You’re one in a million, James.

t
You know that?

n
He looks to where the voice has come from. We see SIMON’S

e
POV. There, sitting in the corner of the AMBULANCE, is the
COLONEL, dressed in a medical uniform. He has a warm and
kind expression on his face.

m
SIMON

n
Maybe...

tr a i
SIMON looks out the window and smiles.

Lights flash on his face. The sound of the AMBULANCE

subsides.

te
FADE OUT.

E n
ve
l co
A