Personal Development

Quarter 4 Week 1 – Module 18:

Personal Relationship –
Attraction, Love, and Commitment
Personal Development
Alternative Delivery Mode
Quarter 2 – Module 18: Personal Relationship - Attraction, Love, and Commitment
First Edition, 2020

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Personal Development
Quarter 4 Week 1 –
Module 18:
Personal Relationship –
Attraction, Love, and Commitment
Introductory Message
For the facilitator:

Welcome to the Personal Development Alternative Delivery Mode (ADM)

Module on Personal Relationship - Attraction, Love, and Commitment!

This module was collaboratively designed, developed and reviewed by

educators both from public and private institutions to assist you, the teacher or
facilitator in helping the learners meet the standards set by the K to 12 Curriculum
while overcoming their personal, social, and economic constraints in schooling.

This learning resource hopes to engage the learners into guided and
independent learning activities at their own pace and time. Furthermore, this also
aims to help learners acquire the needed 21st century skills while taking into
consideration their needs and circumstances.

In addition to the material in the main text, you will also see this box in the
body of the module:

Notes to the Teacher

This contains helpful tips or strategies that
will help you in guiding the learners.

As a facilitator you are expected to orient the learners on how to use this
module. You also need to keep track of the learners' progress while allowing them to
manage their own learning. Furthermore, you are expected to encourage and assist
the learners as they do the tasks included in the module.
For the learner:
Welcome to the Personal Development Alternative Delivery Mode (ADM)
Module on Personal Relationship - Attraction, Love, and Commitment!
The hand is one of the most symbolic part of the human body. It is often used
to depict skill, action and purpose. Through our hands we may learn, create and
accomplish. Hence, the hand in this learning resource signifies that you as a learner
is capable and empowered to successfully achieve the relevant competencies and
skills at your own pace and time. Your academic success lies in your own hands!
This module was designed to provide you with fun and meaningful
opportunities for guided and independent learning at your own pace and time. You
will be enabled to process the contents of the learning resource while being an active
learner.

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This module has the following parts and corresponding icons:

This will give you an idea of the skills or

What I Need to Know competencies you are expected to learn in the
module.

What I Know This part includes an activity that aims

to check what you already know about the
lesson to take. If you get all the answers
correct (100%), you may decide to skip
this module.

What’s In This is a brief drill or review to help you link

the current lesson with the previous one.

In this portion, the new lesson will be

What’s New introduced to you in various ways such as a
story, a song, a poem, a problem opener, an
activity or a situation.

What is It This section provides a brief discussion of the

lesson. This aims to help you discover and
understand new concepts and skills.
What’s More
This comprises activities for independent
practice to solidify your understanding and
skills of the topic. You may check the
answers to the exercises using the Answer
What I Have Learned Key at the end of the module.

This includes questions or blank

sentence/paragraph to be filled in to process
What I Can Do what you learned from the lesson.

This section provides an activity which will

help you transfer your new knowledge or skill
Assessment into real life situations or concerns.

This is a task which aims to evaluate

Additional Activities your level of mastery in achieving the
learning competency.

In this portion, another activity will be given to

you to enrich your knowledge or skill of the
lesson learned. This also tends retention of
Answer Key learned concepts.

This contains answers to all activities

in the module.

At the end of this module you will also find:

References This is a list of all sources used in developing

this module.

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The following are some reminders in using this module:
1. Use the module with care. Do not put unnecessary mark/s on any part of the
module. Use a separate sheet of paper in answering the exercises.
2. Don’t forget to answer What I Know before moving on to the other activities
included in the module.
3. Read the instruction carefully before doing each task.
4. Observe honesty and integrity in doing the tasks and checking your answers.
5. Finish the task at hand before proceeding to the next.
6. Return this module to your teacher/facilitator once you are through with it.
If you encounter any difficulty in answering the tasks in this module, do not
hesitate to consult your teacher or facilitator. Always bear in mind that you are
not alone.
We hope that through this material, you will experience meaningful learning and
gain deep understanding of the relevant competencies. You can do it!

What I Need to Know

This material was crafted to give you – learners, the right amount of assistance
for you to absorb and acquire all the necessary concepts and nature comprising
oneself. Lessons are bounded on the performance and content standard, learning
competencies and level of the learners. This also used languages appropriate to the
understanding of the varied types of students’ learning acquisition. Sequence of the
lessons adhered to the arrangement of the competencies as reflected on the DepEd’s
curriculum guide for this course.

Lesson Title: Personal Relationship - Attraction,Love,andCommitment MELC:

Express your ways of showing attraction, love, andcommitment.

After going through this module, you are expected to:

1. Express your ways of showing attraction, love, and commitment.
1.1. Determine and explain ways of showing attraction, love, and
commitment; and
1.2. Determine the importance of expressing attraction, love and
commitment; and

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 What I Know

Choose the letter of the best answer. Write the chosen letter on a separate
sheet of paper.

1. People tend to be influenced by what they see. It can be a positive or negative

impression toward one’s appearance.
a. physical appearance c. reciprocity
b. proximity d. similarity

2. It is considered as the first form of love.

a. husband and wife c. relationship with friends
b. mother and child d. teacher and students

3. It pertains to physical and functional distance.

a. physical appearance c. reciprocity
b. proximity d. similarity

4. Which component of love consists affective variables like emotional support

and caring?
a. romantic love c. intimacy
b. commitment d. passion

5. A type of love which comprises the 3 components of love.

a. liking c. empty love
b. fatuous d. consummate love

6. Attachment style wherein a child is too dependent to the parents and seeks
more attention from them.
a. anxious/ambivalent attachment style
b. romantic love style
c. secure attachment style
d. avoidance attachment style

7. Which among the choices below is NOT considered as one of the ways in
expressing commitment with others?
a. empathy c. respect
b. trust d. secrecy

8. People usually tend to choose others to be with them because they have
things in common.
a. physical appearance c. similarity
b. proximity d. reciprocity

9. A strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

a. love c. commitment
b. respect d. attraction

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10. Which of the following is NOT one of the types of love according to
R. Sternberg?
a. infatuation c. companionate
b. reciprocity d. fatuous

11. This refers to a more complex long-term relationship.

a. commitment c. proximity
b. intimacy d. passion

12. He proposed the Triangular Model of Love.

a. Brannan c. Dr. Strangor
b. Fisher d. R. Sternberg

13.It consists of physiological and affective variables like physical attraction

and emotional responses that promote physical changes.
a. commitment c. passion
b. intimacy d. romantic love

14. In this attachment style, the child used to receive right affection from
parent. He/she feels protected and parents are available anytime.
a. Anxious/ambivalent Attachment Style
b. Romantic Love Style
c. Secure Attachment Style
d. Avoidant Attachment Style

15. Which of the following best describes Oxytocin?

a. It is one of the four “feel-good chemicals that promotes strong
connections between individuals.
b. It is a peptide that conveys a behavior of individual.
c. It produces sad hormones secreted in the brain.
d. It produces a behavior of developing stable, loving, and long-term
relationship.

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 Personal Development:
Personal Relationship

Making time for one another is vital to keep the relationship healthy and the
process of give and take are great ways to sustain a relationship (Miller, 2008).
Relationship needs to be dealt with mindful and careful consideration.
Keeping a good relationship with people will help you grow in some ways.

In this lesson, you will learn how people express feelings and emotions by
reflecting on ways we do to express attraction, love, and commitment.

What’s In

Below are different expressions of yours toward other people. Now, think of a
particular person that first comes in your mind when you feel such expression. Put
their name under each face or just write how you are related to them (example: “Jose”
or if you want, just “best friend”). Write your answers on a separate sheet of paper
with a brief explanation. After the given time, explain your answer to the facilitator
or to your classmates.

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 What’s New

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone
deeply gives you courage. —Lao Tzu

Having and building relationship with others is natural, yet sometimes, it

could be challenging and confusing.
In this module, you will learn that there are elements hidden behind the idea
of being in a relationship with others, how it starts, and how it grows. By discussing
and defining some important concepts, you will be able to gain ideas on important
these factors are to personal relationship.
Attraction

The Merriam-Webster dictionary, collegiately defined attraction as: the action

or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something; and
a quality or feature that evokes interest, liking, or desire.
Having this definition, it could be said that attraction is a positive connection
between two or more people that share something in common, like interests,
likes/dislikes, or desires. Some qualities may catch your attention and which could
spark a certain kind of relationship.
When you have a positive attitude or evaluation regarding a particular person
in relation to different components, that is interpersonal attraction. For many,
interpersonal attraction relates only between two people having an intimate and
romantic relationship. However, it is not only limited to such since it may also
transpire between friends, colleagues, family members, and others.
There are a lot of key components of attraction that may be the reason for
someone liking others. Some of those are:

Physical Attractiveness

Attractive people draw out a more positive first impression. Initially, people
tend to be influenced by what they see. Even the younger ones prefer to look at faces
that adults consider attractive rather than at opposite ones (Langlois, et.al. 1991).
Our perception of beauty, though, differs from one another since it can be influenced
by culture, educational background, social status, etc. Everyone has his/her idea of
what or who is attractive based on physical appearance.

Facial features like the shape and color of the eyes, the nose, the lips, and
even the cheekbones and jaw have an impact when talking with another person or
people; the built of the body, the color of the hair, the complexion, the smoothness
of the skin, and the smile also may be considered with impact as these are the first
things available elements presented even without interaction. It could also be added
that certain similarities in facial and bodily symmetry or resemblance with anyone
they knew, with someone they like, or with a person they used to talk with, could
also be determinants of liking another person or people.

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Similarity

When you are tasked by your teacher to select a partner for an activity, who
do you usually choose? Why? The common answer might be a friend who used to be
with you, perhaps, because there is a connection between the two of you that you do
not have with others. We can say that you are “on the same wavelength” that is why
you find it easy to get along with him/her because you share the same interests and
opinions.

Many researches support that similarity causes attraction. Oftentimes, people

classify other people based on information they already knew about them. That is
social categorization, wherein, people mentally group others on where they belong
and that with the same characteristics with them, like group age, religion,
personality, attitude, social status, or education. Thus, this social categorization has
a negative effect. When people rely too much on that mentality, it results to
stereotyping, where someone is being judged by others only because they were part
of a specific group they knew and not based on who he/she is.

Proximity

One of the important aspects of any relationship is distance. Proximity

pertains to physical distance with other people and it is related to functional distance
(how often people interact or communicate with each other). The more you encounter
or interact with the person, the more you allow yourself to get to know him/her better
which leads to a better relationship like friendship or intimate relationship. Most
likely, the people always near you just like your classmate or neighbor has a big
tendency to become your friend.
Reciprocity

We tend to get along with people or with someone whom we have the same
feelings toward. It is called reciprocity. It is when feelings with someone are being
reciprocated or returned in the same way as you do. According to Brannan and Mohr,
authors of one of the modules of in the book of Together: The Science of Social
Psychology, “Another way to think of it is that relationships are built on a give and
take; if one side is not reciprocating, then the relationship is doomed”. These may
happen in any relationship, with friends, classmates, family members, or romantic
partners.
The attraction is something that may happen in different ways, with different
people, and in different circumstances, and may lead to a much deeper connection
or relation with others.
Love
It appears that the word Love has many meanings. Some definitions in the
Meriam-Webster dictionary are:
1. (a) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties;
(b) attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers;
(c) affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.

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 2. An assurance of affection
Any discussion about love piques the curiosity and interest of young adults
your age. It may differ depending on one’s experience and knowledge of love, though.
Sometimes, it may affect the emotional and psychological being of a person, thus
influencing his/her emotion toward another. This emotional bond depends on the
presence or absence of support from others.

According to Sue Carter and Stephen Porges, “love is one of the important
components of a complex neurochemical system that allows the body to adapt to
highly emotional situations”. Some elements are responsibles for the deep and strong
bonds of a person with others that resulted to love.

One of the accountable chemicals for the connection of two individuals like
between mother and child inside her womb and even after giving birth is Oxytocin
(Keverne, 2006). It is a peptide also known as the love hormone, a female
reproduction hormone, which helps to deepen the connection between mother and
child through breastfeeding. It is transmitted to the brain tissue of the child that
allows and creates a strong bond between them. This is the reason why it is
considered as the first form of love. Together with Oxytocin, Endorphin, Serotonin,
and Dopamine are so-called “feel good” chemicals that promote strong
connections/bonds between people since it releases during happy moments.

Another element that promotes love is Vasopressin. It is also a peptide that

conveys the behavior of an individual’s social engagement (Kenkel et al, 2012). One
of its roles is to produce a behavior of developing stable, loving, and long-term
relationship with others.
The studies of Cohen 2007; Fisher et. al, 2009 explained that the serotonin
production of newly-in-love individuals increases up to 40% just like with the brain
of a drug addict. And, when a person experiences heartbreak, the brain processes
just like an addict quitting a heroin habit.
In the book of Principles of Social Psychology – 1st International Edition by
Dr. Charles Strangor, he explained Robert Sternberg’s proposed Triangular Model of
Love. It says that there are seven (7) different types of Love and each type consists of
the combinations of variables (Cognitive, Physiological and Affective variables) that
are specified in Three (3) different components/factors: Intimacy, Passion, and
Commitment. (see figure 1)

Intimacy is consisting of affective variables such as closeness, caring, and

emotional support; Passion is consist of physiological and affective variables like
physical attraction, emotional responses that promote physiological changes, and
sexual arousal; and Commitment is a cognitive process and decision to dedicate love
to another individual with the willingness to keep the relationship lasts (Brannan, D.
& Mohr, C. D., 2020).

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 INTIMACY
Liking
(intimacy alone)

Romantic Love Companionate

(Intimacy + Love
Passion) (Intimacy +
Consummate Commitment)
Love
(intimacy + Passion
+ Commitment)

Infatuation Empty Love

(Passion (Commitment
alone) alone)
Fatuous Love
PASSION Passion + Commitment) COMMITMENT

Figure 1: Robert Sternberg’s Triangular (Theory) Model of Love, adapted from the book of Principles
of Social Psychology – 1st International Edition of Dr. Charles Strangor.

Since love has its different types, we could say that it may happen any time, to
any individual, at a different level with people around us like friends, classmates ,
neighbors, family members, etc. The quality of a relationship is how both partners
relate to each other. There are different ways in showing love with our loved ones or
partners and are emphasized in Three (3) attachment styles we display when we
interact with our parents, our friends, and our romantic partners (Eastwick & Finkel,
2008).
Secure Attachment Style – a healthy style wherein the children used to receive
care and easily communicate with the parents since they feel that they are always
available to listen and keep them safe. Anxious/ambivalent Attachment Style - when
children are lacking or seeking more affection from parents because they are too
dependent on them. Avoidant Attachment Style – it is when children are distant to the
parent/s, sometimes due to unpleasant experiences. These attachment styles have a big
effect or impact on how an individual perceived and expresses behavior with or towards
others.

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Commitment
You already have an idea of what attraction is, how it happens, and how it
grows, also the types of love and how each type related and comprised with. Now, let
us have the commitment and how this thing may happen and how it will last.

It is a long-term relationship between individuals. A more complex relationship

that resulted to increasingly turn to each other not only for social support but also
for help in coordinating activities, remembering dates and appointments, and
accomplishing tasks (Wegner, Erber, & Raymond, 1991). Many people say that for
you to be able to have a successful relationship, you should know your similarities
and differences; understand your partner’s needs and desires; and invest time and
effort to work things out and last for a lifetime.
Dr. Rajiv Jhangiani and Dr. Hammond Tarry reiterated the Slotter et al., 2011
that “commitment refers to the feelings and action that keep partners working
together to maintain the relationship”. Any relationship will last through the
cooperation of both parties, without this, the relationship will not last and ends with
breaking up.
Commitment is a choice, a long and not an easy process that needs to be
participated by you and your partner.

What is It

Various people have a certain impact in different aspects of your life. It may
be different in level and differ from who or how that person relates to our life.
Expressing our attraction, love, and commitment to a specific person is
definitely different on how we express it with a different set of people. A good example
of this is how you are might be open in expressing your admiration with your
romantic partner, yet be discreet or reserved in saying or expressing your feeling with
your family members. This difference may be interpreted differently by others, as
well. For whatever reasons, even non-verbally, expressing our love to our support
system (people dear to us) is important and we should continuously communicate
with them and never fail to express that we are grateful with them being in our side.

Below are some collected ideas on how to exercise expressing affections and
developed into a commitment for any kinds of relationship. These may serve as tips
on how to keep healthy relationships with others.
Stay happy. Happiness gives you the feeling of satisfaction for both abstract and
concrete things.
Be empathic. Empathizing with another is acting with greater cooperation and
overall altruism—the desire to help, even at a potential cost to the self.

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Keep open communication. It provides an opportunity to size up the trustworthiness
of a person by verbally committing to cooperate with another.
Always trust. Working with others toward a common goal requires a level of faith
that others will repay our hard work and generosity. Supporting their interests is
also showing your trust.
Show respect. People are likely to give respect to others by being polite, honest, and by
showing kindness all the time.
Be a helping hand. In times of trouble (e.g. mentally/ emotionally), make him/her feel
that he/she always has you on his/her side.

Notes to the Teacher

As facilitator kindly ask the learner to answer the questions to deepen their
understanding on the topic before allowing him/her to proceed with the activity. You may ask the
questions below or opt to use your preferred questions.

1. What type of love are you experiencing right now? Why did you say so?
2. Howdo you showyour attraction, love and commitment to your love ones? Enumerate
each.
3. Given the chance to advise others how they can express their commitment for the
relationship to last, what would that be and why?

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 Assessment

Multiple Choice. Choose the letter of the best answer. Write the chosen letter on a
separate sheet of paper.
1. Personal Relationship is the .
a. choice of a person to be engaged in a certain kind of relationship.
b. kind of interaction one makes when dealing in an intimate group of
people.
c. close connection between the people formed by emotional bonds and
interaction.
d. type of person’s involvement in the community where he/she grows to
be a good individual.

2. Romantic Relationship is characterized by .

a. happy experiences shared by individuals
b. mutual love and respect shared by the couples
c. sympathy rendered by individuals towards one another
d. sense of belongingness felt by individuals with each other

3. Which of the following is NOT part of so called “feel good” chemicals?

a. Oxydicin c. Serotonin
b. Endorphin d. Dopamine

4. What do you call the feelings and action that keep partners working together
to maintain a relationship?
a. Affection c. Commitment
b. Attraction d. Love

5. Infatuation comprises .
a. Intimacy and Commitment c. Passion only
b. Commitment and passion d. Intimacy only

6. Which type of love consist of passion and commitment?

a. Romantic Love c. Liking
b. Fatuous Love d. Companionate

7. According to Sue and Porges, it is one of the important components of a

complex neurochemical system that allows the body to adapt to highly
emotional situation.
a. Affection c. Commitment
b. Attraction d. Love

8. It happens when the feeling is being returned by someone the same way as
you do.
a. Physical appearance c. Reciprocity
b. Proximity d. Similarity

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9. Which of the following pertains to a physical distance between two
individuals?
a. Physical appearance
b. Proximity
c. Reciprocity
d. Similarity

10. What best describes avoidant attachment style?

a. It can be due to unpleasant experience
b. The child feels more safe
c. Lacking affection
d. Communicated with parent

11. It is the feeling of satisfaction for both abstract and concrete things.

a. Happiness
b. Empathy
c. Communication
d. Respect

12. Which of the following is a cognitive process and decision to dedicate love to
another individual with willingness to keep it lasts?
a. Affection
b. Attraction
c. Commitment
d. Love

13. It is an element that help promote love that produces a behavior of loving and
lasting relationship.
a. Oxydicin
b. Endorphin
c. Serotonin
d. Vasopressin

14. Which of the following provides an opportunity to an individual to verbally

committing to cooperate with others?
a. Happiness
b. Empathy
c. Communication
d. Respect

15.Which peptide is known as love hormone?

a. Oxytocin
b. Endorphin
c. Serotonin
d. Vasopressin

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 Additional Activities

“Reasons of Attraction”
The following components of attractions are the reasons of someone in liking
others. Based on you own characteristics and understanding of yourself, how do you
usually get easily attracted to someone? Arrange the components of attraction by
putting numbers 1 to 4, 1 Will be your most common and usual reasons you got
attracted and explain your reasons. Write your answers in a separate sheet.

Components of
Attractions Rank Reason

Physical
Attractiveness

Proximity

Reciprocity

Similarity

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 Answer Key

References
“Attraction.” Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Accessed June 8, 2020.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/attraction.
“Love.” Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Accessed June 8, 2020.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love
Jhangiani , Dr. Rajiv, and Dr. Hammond Tarry. “Principles of Social Psychology –
1ST INTERNATIONAL EDITION : Charles Stangor, Rajiv Jhangiani, Hammond
Tarry : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming.” Internet Archive, 1 Jan. 1970,
archive.org/details/PrinciplesOfSocialPsychology.
Brannan, D, and C. D. Mohr. “Love, Friendship, and Social Support.” Noba. IL:
DEF publishers. Accessed June 8, 2020.
https://nobaproject.com/modules/love-friendship-and-social-support.
Carter, S., and S. Porges. “Biochemistry of Love.” Noba. IL: DEF publishers, 2020.
https://nobaproject.com/modules/biochemistry-of-love.
Diener, E. “Happiness: the science of subjective well-being.” Noba textbook series:
Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers. Accessed June 8, 2020.
https://nobaproject.com/modules/happiness-the-science-of-subjective-well-
being#content
Moskowitz, J. P. & Piff, P. K. “Cooperation” Noba textbook series:
Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers, 2020
https://nobaproject.com/modules/cooperation.

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