Politeness Strategy
In sociolinguistics politeness strategies are defined as
speech acts that express concern for others and minimize
threats to self-esteem ("face") in particular social contexts.
Here are some ways of showing politeness in English:
1. Modals
It is polite when someone uses modal auxiliaries in
asking questions. The use of modals could, may, shall, should,
and would can be regarded as a polite way of saying things.
Can you … ?
Could you … ?
Would you …?
Would you mind …?
Do you think you could …?
I wonder if you could …?
Would it be possible for you to …?
Could you please close the door? is politer than Close the
door.
May I interrupt you for a while? is politer than I want to
interrupt you for a while.
Should you need any help, just call me is politer than If you
need any help, just call me.
Would you please speak more loudly? is politer than Speak
more loudly.
By using modals one can still have some kind of degrees of
politeness. As seen below, the degree of politeness can vary,
from least polite to most polite.
Pick up the phone.
Pick up the phone, please.
Please pick up the phone.
I want you to pick up the phone.
I want you to pick up the phone, please.
Will you pick up the phone?
Will you pick up the phone, please?
Can you pick up the phone?
Can you pick up the phone, please?
Would you pick up the phone?
Would you pick up the phone, please?
Could you pick up the phone?
Could you pick up the phone, please?
2. Euphemism
Sometimes people do not want to say something
bluntly. Instead, they choose certain words to express things
indirectly, but politely. This phenomenon can be found in the use
of euphemism. People use pass away instead of die, get a cycle
or period for menstruation, or expecting a baby instead of
pregnant.
“My grandmother passed away last year” sounds politer than “My
grandmother died last year”.
“Mary is always bad-tempered when she gets her period” sounds
politer than “Mary is always bad-tempered when she gets her
menstruation.”
“Jane is expecting a baby” sounds politer than “Jane is pregnant.”
3. Tag Questions
Politeness may be expressed through the use of tag
questions. It is usually used to ask for agreement or confirmation.
People may say politely “You feel tired, don’t you?” rather than
“Do you feel tired?”
It is time to have lunch, isn’t it? instead of “Isn’t it time for lunch?”
You are not in a hurry, are you? instead of “Aren’t you in a hurry?”
4. Negative sentences
Politeness can be found in the use of negative
sentences.
If you don’t mind, please come before five o’clock.
If you are not busy, please take me to the airport.
5. The word “please”
The word “please” is a very effective one to express
politeness. Any sentence using please becomes much politer. For
example, the sentence “Do me a favor” will be politer if it is added
with please to be “Please do me a favor”. The word please can be
used at the beginning, at the middle, or at the end of a sentence.
Please give me a hand.
Would you please speak more slowly?
Don’t be so noisy, please.
6. Certain expressions
People will use certain expressions for certain
occasions in order to be polite. This can take place in thanking,
apologizing, leave taking, sneezing, and making a toast.
A:Thank you very much.
B: You are welcome.
A: I’m so sorry for coming late.
B: It’s okay.
A: Have a nice day.
B: You, too.
A: Excuse me (sneezing).
B: Bless you.
A: Cheers (making a toast).
B: Cheers.
The above expressions (A) and their responses (B) show
how people try to be polite in their communication. Failing to
behave so can be regarded as being rude or impolite.
7. Address Terms
As a polite marker, one may use address terms
(Wardhaugh, 1992). In communication it will be polite to use of
terms of address such as Sir, Mr., Mrs., Ms., Your honor, Doctor,
Professor, and so forth.
Yes, I will, Doctor.
I will be there for you, Prof.
Let me do it for you, Sir.
In using the address terms people will consider whether they
are intimate or distant towards their interlocutors. When they are
distant, they use address terms as mentioned above, but when
they are intimate, they may use first names instead.
8. Inclusive terms (let’s)
Including the interlocutor in our conversation can show some kind
of politeness. The sentence “Let’s find out the answer” sounds
less rude than “Find out the answer”.
9. Speech acts
People may express what they want indirectly. Indirect
speech acts may have the shape of question or declarative
sentence, requesting for action (Duranti, 2000). Instead of using
an imperative, for example, one may say “This room is hot” to
mean “Open the windows”. Can you reach the salt? means asking
someone to pass the salt for the speaker. The answer will not be
Yes, I can or No I can’t. Rather, the interlocutor will pass the salt
for the speaker.
10. Avoiding the word “you”
In order not to sound rude, the word you is often avoided
when there seems to be something wrong.
“You made a mistake” becomes “There seems to be a mistake”.
“You said …” becomes “We understood ....”
11. Avoiding making demands or giving instruction
A phrase like “I want …” sounds rude. It will be better if we
use “I would like … “ or “I would be grateful if ..”
I would like some details of your products instead of “I want some
details of your products”.
I would be grateful if you send us the sample of your products
instead of “Send us the sample of your products”.
12. Rejecting
When someone rejects an offer from someone else,
he/she may not reject it in a direct way. Rather, he/she will reject
it in a polite way by rendering a reason for not being able to do as
requested.
Jack: Could you come to my birthday party tonight?
Mary: I’d love to but I have a paper due tomorrow.
Exercise:
1. Give examples of being polite in language in your
mother tongue or in Indonesian.
2. What will happen if we are not polite in
communicating with others?
