PCM 1

Core Topics Manual

Process Communication Model®
Acknowledgments

I am grateful for the discovery of Transactional Analysis by

Eric Berne, M.D. - especially ego states, transactions, hungers, and scripts;
to Hedges Capers, Sr., Ph.D., for his friendship and encouragement to see the
positive, healthy parts of people;
to Paul Ware, M.D., for his emphasis on the clinical importance of sequencing
Berne’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Taibi Kahler, Ph.D.

Process Communication Model®
Taibi Kahler, Ph.D.

COPYRIGHT © 2021 BY KAHLER COMMUNICATIONS, INC. 2021 EDITION

All rights reserved.

No portion of this publication may be printed or reproduced by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photographic or otherwise, or portrayed, translated, or included in any information storage and
retrieval system, or used to print or otherwise reproduce a computer-generated interpretation,
without permission in writing from the publisher, Kahler Communications, Inc. 7619 Hwy 70 S
#210555 Nashville, Tennessee 37221, Email: [email protected].

Only a trainer certified by Kahler Communications, Inc. or one of its authorized licensees may
teach this seminar.

This manual is accompanied by a personalized profile report intended solely for the use with
this seminar manual. Neither the manual nor the personalized profile report may be used in any
(other) teaching, training or counselling setting or situations.
Contents

WELCOME 3

PERCEPTIONS 5

SIX PERSONALITY TYPES 10

PERSONALITY AND STRUCTURE 18

CHARACTER STRENGTHS 20

INTERACTION STYLES 21

PERSONALITY PARTS 27

CHANNELS OF COMMUNICATION 38

ENVIRONMENTAL PREFERENCE 49

PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS 54

PERSONALITY PHASE AND PHASING 63

MISCOMMUNICATION & DISTRESS 66

CONNECTING 84
 Welcome

This is the exciting part of self-discovery.

Seeing all that we are and all that we can be.

You are about to embark on a course of self-discovery that will show you many aspects
of your personality, including your Character Strengths, abilities, attributes and your
Psychological Needs. The training will focus on the positive parts of your personality and
your inventory of skills and will also examine some negative elements that exist in all of
us. We often display these unproductive, undesirable behaviors when we are not getting
our Psychological Needs met in a positive way. When this happens, we put on a Mask and
miscommunicate.

Miscommunication gets in the way of successful interactions in both our personal and
professional lives. Process Communication Model® will offer you some valuable “here’s
how-to” for interrupting this negative behavior if and when it occurs and to invite a return
to the positive, productive individual we can all be when we are at our best.

You will be offered tools to increase the quality of your personal and professional life. You
will be invited to gain insight into the meaning of past failures and disappointments. You will
also be shown ways to predict behavior and ways to facilitate developing new productive
patterns of behavior.

In the world of managing and interacting with others, this seminar will focus on:

• Assessing
• Connecting
• Motivating
• Managing and Resolving Conflict
• Building Trust and Rapport

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Exercise

The Interviewing Exercise

After choosing a partner, take fifteen minutes to find out the following information about
each other and be prepared to introduce and tell the group about your partner.

1. What is the name the person likes to be called?

2. What do they want out of this seminar?

3. What do they do well?

4. What is one of their life dreams or fantasy goals?

5. With what kind of person do they have trouble communicating?

6. Pick 3 skills that they showed during your exchange.

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 Perceptions

There are six Perceptions by which we experience, interpret, and

respond to our environment and others. They filters our experiences
and are observable through vocabulary and sentence structure.
As such, one of these Perceptions becomes our preferred way of
communicating how we say what we say, or in other words : our
Process.

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 Perceptions

Everyone views the world around them in six different ways – through their Perceptions
of Thoughts, Opinions, Emotions, Inactions (reflections), Reactions (likes/dislikes) or Actions.

Not only are these the filters by which we experience the world, these Perceptions become
the way we contact others and prefer that they contact us. Each of us has a primary
Perception or preference as to HOW we say the content of WHAT we are saying.

Those whose primary Perception is THOUGHTS use facts.

The way they view the world is by identifying and categorizing people and things.
They prize data and information.
LOGIC is their currency.

Those whose primary Perception is OPINIONS value trust.

The way they view the world is by evaluating people and situations through a belief
system. They prize loyalty and commitment.
VALUES are their currency.

Those whose primary Perception is EMOTIONS love relationships.

The way they view the world is by feeling about people and situations. They prize
family and friendship.
COMPASSION is their currency.

Those whose primary Perception is INACTIONS yearn for direction.

The way they view the world is by reflecting about what is happening. They prize
privacy and their own space.
IMAGINATION is their currency.

Those whose primary Perception is REACTIONS enjoy fun.

The way they view the world is by reacting to people and situations with likes and
dislikes. They prize spontaneity and creativity.
HUMOR is their currency.

Those whose primary Perception is ACTIONS thrive on activity.

The way they view the world is by experiencing situations and making things
happen. They prize adaptability and self-sufficiency.
INITIATIVE is their currency.

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Exercise

The Language of Perceptions

THOUGHTS - LOGIC
“I think...” “What options...” “Does that mean...” “Who...” “What...” “When...” “Where...”
“...facts” “...information” “Data” “Time frames”

O P I N I O N S - VA L U E S
“In my opinion...” “I believe...” “We should/must...” “...respect” “...values” “...admiration”
“...commitment” “...dedication” “...trust”

E M O T I O N S - C O M PA S S I O N
“I feel...” “I’m comfortable with...” “I care...” “...happy” “...sad” “I love...” “...close”

I N A C T I O N S ( R E F L E C T I O N S) - I M A G I N AT I O N
“I imagine...” “I picture...” “...reflecting“ “...musing”

R E A C T I O N S ( L I K E S A N D D I S L I K E S) - H U M O R
“Wow...” “I like...” “I don’t like [hate]...” “I don’t want...”
Use of slang phrases.

A C T I O N S - I N I T I AT I V E
“Bottom line...” “...best shot” “...make it happen” “Go for it...” “Enough talk, action!”

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Exercise

Assessing Perception

The purpose of this exercise is to listen for evidence of how a person experiences the world.
This will let you know what their predominant Perception is.

When discussing an important topic or presented with a challenging stimulus, we are

more likely to filter the situation through our favorite Perception.

Will you please:

1. Get into groups of four.

2. Choose two Stars and two observers and have each observer pick a Star to observe.

3. Choose a “hot” or controversial topic (which invites us to use our predominant Perception).

4. Have the two Stars discuss this topic for about five minutes.

5. During the discussion, have each observer, using Page 7, keep a frequency count of the
evidence, second-by-second, of the Perception that their Star is regularly using.

6. After the five minutes, have each observer give feedback to their Star.

7. Change places and have two new Stars and observers.

CAUTI O N!

Observers, do not get seduced into the content.

Your job is to listen for HOW (process) the Stars are
saying the WHAT (content).

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Exercise

Addressing Perception

Will you please:

1. Get into group of seven.

2. A person starts this exercise by being the Star.

3. Each group member puts on a different Perception badge or holds a different

Perception card:

COLOR PERCEPTIONS

Blue THOUGHTS

Purple OPINIONS

Orange EMOTIONS

Brown INACTIONS (REFLECTIONS)

Yellow REACTIONS (LIKES/DISLIKES)

Red ACTIONS

4. The Star tells a story (fairy tale, a how-to, etc.) looking at one person at a time. As the
Star stays looking at one person for 30 seconds to a minute, they use that member’s
Perceptual frame of reference, as denoted by the badge or card and speaks using the
associated Perceptual language.

5. After each member is so addressed, the group gives feedback about how accurate the
Star was with matching each member’s Perception.

6. A new Star is selected, and steps 3 through 5 are repeated. This continues until each
member has been the Star.

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 Six Personality Types

The term Personality Type is used to explain and describe a

consistent set of behaviors observed at each stage of the
Personality Structure.

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 Six Personality Types

There are six distinct Personality Types:

THINKER

PERSISTER

HARMONIZER

IMAGINER

REBEL

PROMOTER Base

One of these is our Base, which we are born with or develop very early in life. Once this
Base is set, it will last for a lifetime. In other words, whatever our Base Personality Type is,
we will always be strongest in the characteristics and behavior of that Type. Because each
of us has a Personality Structure made up of all six Types, in different orders, we exhibit the
characteristics of all of them.

If you listen for evidence of someone’s predominant Perception, this will indicate what their
Base Personality Type is. When discussing an important topic, we are more likely to stay on
our first floor Base and filter the situation through our favorite Perception.

Each Personality Type is OK. No one Type is better or worse, more or less smart, more OK or
less OK than any other.

Each Type has specific motivators characterized by differences in Character Strengths,

Psychological Needs, Perceptions, and favored Communication Channels.

Recognizing these differences is crucial in:

• Connecting
• Motivating
• Resolving Conflict

The more information you know about someone else’s Personality Structure, the more
information you will have to invite positive interactions.

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 Thinker Base

PERCEPTION
Thoughts: Thinks first, identifies and categorizes people and things.

CHARACTE R STRE N GTH S

Responsible, Logical, Organized.

P E R C E N TA G E S
North American Population: 25%
25 % 75 %

FA C I A L L I N E S
Horizontal lines on forehead.

OFFICE/HOM E
Organized, functional, orderly, contemporary,
awards, certificates, plaques, everything in its place.

TRAITS
Ability to think logically, takes in facts and ideas
and synthesizes them.

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 Persister Base

PERCEPTION
Opinions: Judges first, evaluates people and things with opinions.

CHARACTE R STRE N GTH S

Dedicated, Observant, Conscientious.

P E R C E N TA G E S
North American Population: 10%
25 % 75 %

FA C I A L L I N E S
Furrows between the eyes.

OFFICE/HOM E
Functional, traditional furnitures, period pieces, antiques, and/or oriental motifs.

TRAITS
Ability to give opinions, beliefs, and judgments.

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 Harmonizer Base

PERCEPTION
Emotions: Feels first, takes in people and things by feeling about them.

CHARACTE R STRE N GTH S

Compassionate, Sensitive, Warm.

P E R C E N TA G E S
North American Population: 30%
75 % 25 %

FA C I A L L I N E S
Half-moon lines over the eyes.

OFFICE/HOM E
Cozy, soft, nest-like, plants, family pictures, pleasant smells, soothing music, soft colors,
comfortable furniture.

TRAITS
Ability to nurture and give to others.
Good at creating harmony.

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 Imaginer Base

PERCEPTION
Inactions (reflections): Imagination, motivated into action by things and people.

CHARACTE R STRE N GTH S

Imaginative, Reflective, Calm.

P E R C E N TA G E S
North American Population: 10%
60 % 40 %

FA C I A L L I N E S
Smooth face, few lines even with age.

OFFICE/HOM E
No frills, environment is not that important.

TRAITS
Ability to be introspective, works well with things and tasks.
Usually very skilled with any work requiring dexterity.

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 Rebel Base

PERCEPTION
Reactions (likes/dislikes): Reacts to people and things with likes and dislikes.

CHARACTE R STRE N GTH S

Spontaneous, Creative, Playful.

P E R C E N TA G E S
North American Population: 20%
60 % 40 %

FA C I A L L I N E S
Smile lines around the eyes and mouth.

OFFICE/HOM E
Full of stimulation: posters, games, toys, lights and sounds.

TRAITS
Ability to see the humor in things and enjoy the present.

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 Promoter Base

PERCEPTION
Actions: Immediate action and solutions oriented.

CHARACTE R STRE N GTH S

Adaptable, Persuasive, Charming.

P E R C E N TA G E S
North American Population: 5%
40 % 60 %

FA C I A L L I N E S
Ruddy complexion.

OFFICE/HOM E
Expensive looking furniture, trophies, red and black colors.

TRAITS
Ability to be firm and direct.

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 Personality and Structure

Personality is a set of components relating to our character,

our moods, how we deal with our thoughts, opinions, emotions,
reactions, actions and reflections. It also relates to how we cope
with stress and how we motivate ourselves. It is how we are unique
in the world.
Personality is visible to others through observation of our behaviors.
In PCM, personality is represented by the Structure of our 6 floors
which has thousands of possibilities.

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 Personality Structure

• No one Personality Type is better or worse, more or less smart, more or less OK.

• We have the characteristics of all six Personality Types and this is measurable by the PCM
profile.

• The Personality Types within our Personality Structure are like the floors of a six-story
condominium, with the Base at the bottom and the other floors layered above it.

• We are born with a Base Personality Type, or it develops very early in life.

• Base does not change throughout our life.

• The order of floors two through six is set by age seven and the order of our floors is not
likely to change through life.

• There are 720 different personality condominium orders.

• Our elevator can take us from floor to floor, allowing us access to that Personality Type’s
characters' strengths, Perceptions and behavior.

• Only positive, OK - OK behaviors are experienced and manifested in our condominium

floors.

Base

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 Character Strengths

Character Strengths are your natural abilities, attributes, and personal qualities. Each
floor of the condominium has unique Character Strengths. Everyone has the Character
Strengths of all the floors and can develop an even wider variety of personal qualities to
communicate.

THINKER FLOOR

Responsible, Logical, Organized

PERSISTER FLOOR

Dedicated, Observant, Conscientious

HARMONIZER FLOOR

Compassionate, Sensitive, Warm

I MAG I N E R FLOOR

Imaginative, Reflective, Calm

REBEL FLOOR

Spontaneous, Creative, Playful

PROMOTER FLOOR

Adaptable, Persuasive, Charming

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 Interaction Styles

Specific ways of interacting with others and our preference for

how others interact with us. This includes our preferred style of
management.
We each have our preferred Interaction Style, depending upon
our Base.

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 Interaction Styles

A U T O C R AT I C S T Y L E

The person using the Autocratic Style gives commands and directives and
encourages others to respond directly to them. This Style is task-oriented.

ADVANTAGE DISADVANTAGES

• Useful with those who require direction, • Does not invite group interaction or

structure, definition, or training. upward feedback.

• Discourages self-motivation.
• Invites over-adaptive or rebellious
behavior.

D E M O C R AT I C S T Y L E

This Interaction Style is based on the principles of group participation

and decision making. The person using this Style encourages interaction
between and among others, solicits feedback, and fosters independent
thinking.

ADVANTAGES DISADVANTAGES

• Encourages goal-oriented, thinking people • Does not provide enough direction for
because they have the opportunity to some who require it and for others who
process information and/or express their lack knowledge and understanding of
opinion. their responsibilities.
• Increases group cohesion and enhances • Can be time consuming.
morale with common goals.

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 Interaction Styles

B E N EVO LE NT ST YLE

Managers who are more person-oriented will naturally use this interaction
style.

Individual feelings are more important than tasks to this person. They
assume that when people feel good they do better. The benevolent person
fosters a sense of belonging in others by interacting in a nurturing and
accepting way.

ADVANTAGE DISADVANTAGE

• This Style works well with feeling-expressive • Some people dislike mixing personal
people who prefer a personal relationship. relationships with professional
relationships and experience this Style as
an invasion of privacy.

L A I S S E Z - FA I R E S T Y L E

This Interaction Style is even more non-directive than the Democratic Style.
When in a responsible position, the person using the Laissez-faire Style
invites others to assume as much responsibility as they can handle.

ADVANTAGES DISADVANTAGES

• Favors autonomy and creativity in delivery or • Does not provide the structure some
problem solving. people need.
• Works well for independent individuals who • The Laissez-faire Style may be perceived
prefer to do their own thing, as well as for as lacking authority and mentorship by
people who do not like to be told what to do collaborators.
and who prefer unstructured options.

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 Interaction Styles

I N D IVI DUALI STI C I NTE RACTION ST YLE

LEADER

Process Communication Model emphasizes that no one given Interaction Style is effective
with all people. Instead, the Individualistic Interaction Style teaches people how to shift
energies to other Interaction Styles in order to communicate effectively.

Every person’s unique basic interaction skills are very effective with certain Personality
Types. Flexibility in communication is the key to successful interaction.

ADVANTAGES DISADVANTAGE

• People who take their elevator meet • Requires energy and commitment
the Personality Types of others invite to look at ourselves, being aware of
communication. HOW we are saying WHAT we say and
• An agile leader who uses a wider range of knowledge of Personality Types.
their personality guarantees themself less
emotional distress.

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 Personality Types and Interaction Styles

BASE TO USE OFTEN TO USE SELDOM

THINKER
Democratic Autocratic

PERSISTER
Democratic Autocratic

HARMONIZER
Benevolent Autocratic

IMAGINER
Autocratic Laissez-faire

REBEL
Laissez-faire Autocratic

PROMOTER
Autocratic Democratic

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Exercise

Character Strengths and Interaction Styles

TRAITS (YOU SEE) STYLE (YOU USE)

Dedicated, Observant, Conscientious

Imaginative, Reflective, Calm Laissez-faire

Spontaneous, Creative, Playful Benevolent

Adaptable, Persuasive, Charming Autocratic

Compassionate, Sensitive, Warm Democratic

Logical, Responsible, Organized

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 Personality Parts

A coherent set of verbal and non-verbal behaviors that we show

when we are in our Condominium.

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 Personality Parts

HOW we say something is much more important than WHAT we say.

Your profile report shows scores for four Personality Parts: the Computer, the Director, the
Emoter and the Comforter. A score of 100 indicates that you are able to shift energy into this
Part of your Personality effortlessly. While a score below 20% indicates some unease with
this part of your personality. Between the two lies your comfort zone..
These are like muscles. You are able to exercise and strengthen them with practice. Even
now you have a natural ability for one of these and use it most often.

The individualistic communicator uses as many positive Parts of their Personality as is

appropriate for the occasion, shifting Personality energy to match other people (using
process), then deciding what to say to them (using content).

We individualize our communication when we change floors to meet

others where they are in their condominium by using process, and then we decide what to
say to them using content.

There are five cues that indicate which Personality Part we are using, at any given time.
In a perfect world, we could always organize all five of these cues or elements at once.
As a rule of thumb, we can turn on one of these parts by displaying 3 of the 5 elements.

There are five Personality Parts that one must learn to become an outstanding
communicator. They are:

The Emoter The Comforter The Computer The Director The Protector

We can learn to turn on each of these five Parts of our Personality when needed by knowing
the behavior that defines the Personality Part. Five cues define when you or anyone else is
using one of these Parts:

• WORDS
• TONES
• GESTURES
• POSTURES
• FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

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 The Protector

This Personality Part, not listed in your profile report, is used only occasionally, in special
intense circumstances.

To shift into your Protector Part, give a command, imperative, or directive aimed at your
own or someone else’s senses. For example, “Take a deep breath.” “Listen.” “Look at me.”
“Stop.” No attack, threat, or anger is involved.

WORDS
“Look at me and breath.” “Take my hand, you are safe.”
Any command that is directed at the five senses: smell, taste, sight, hearing, touch. The
commands involve no threats, attacks, or anger.

TONE
Firm, protective, calm, and accepting.

GESTURES
Hands and arms outstretched as if holding and supporting the shoulders of a small child.

POSTURE
Relaxed, yet stable.

FA C I A L E X P R E S S I O N S
Non-critical, open, a slight nod to punctuate that accepting the command is OK; a
trustworthy and supportive look.

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 The Director

To be in your Director Part, give a command, imperative, or directive aimed at the thinking
part of someone. Anger, threats and attacks are not involved.
Examples include: “Tell me what your responsibilities are.” “Make a copy of this.” “Send in Mr.
Ellison.” “Sign on the dotted line.” “Give us your proposal.”

WORDS
“Send me the file.” “Check this document.” “Call me before lunch today.” “Imagine how
this could be implemented.”
Any verb in the imperative form, involving no threats, attacks or anger.

TONE
Firm, non-critical, non-threatening.

GESTURES
Few if any.

POSTURE
Erect.

FA C I A L E X P R E S S I O N S
Determined, yet neither with raised eyebrows nor a frown.

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 The Computer

The Computer is the requesting, fact finding Part of you. No emotions are involved, and no
commands, imperatives, or directives are issued. Instead, from our Computer we make
requests. Examples: ask questions as “What time is it?” “What were your responsibili-
ties at your last job?” “Will you type this memo?” Our Computer talks to the Computer in
others. Although each of the five Personality Parts enhances effective communication, the
Computer is particularly effective whenever information has to be exchanged or conveyed.

WORDS
“When is it?” “I will call you at five.” “Do you see the keys on the hook?” “What…?”
“When…?” ”Where…?” “How…?” “Who…?”
Any non-emotional, non-critical fact inquiring question or giving of information.

TONE
Monotone.

GESTURES
Few, if any.

POSTURE
Erect, steady.

FA C I A L E X P R E S S I O N S
Neutral.

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 The Comforter

To use your Comforter, assume the qualities of a warm, nurturing parent, addressing the
emotion, rather than the Computer thinking, of the other person. Examples include: “I really
appreciate you.” “It’s OK to share your feelings with me.” “I’m concerned about you.” “You’re
a warm, sensitive person and I’m glad you’re here.” The Comforter’s purpose is to invite
someone else to feel nurtured, not to gain or provide information. People who want their
feelings acknowledged respond to the Comforter.

WORDS
“You are important to me.” “I am glad you are here.” “I am happy we will work together.”
Empathic, comforting, emotional, sharing words.

TONE
Soft, gentle, soothing, caring, warm.

GESTURES
Palms up.

POSTURE
Relaxed, open, extending forward.

FA C I A L E X P R E S S I O N S
Accepting, warm, gentle, smiling, soft.

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 The Emoter

All authentic emotions are expressed through the Emoter Part.

It is the humorous, playful Part of you. It is not the vengeful, spiteful, teasing or prankster
Part, but the spontaneous, fun Part of you. The Emoter might say: “Bob, I sure like that tie!”
The Director, instead might say: “Tell us where you bought that tie.” The Comforter might
say: “Bob you have such good taste. I appreciate how you let yourself enjoy your clothes so
much.”
The Emoter says: “Heeeeeeeere’s Mary!” “Thank you, I enjoy being with you!”
Playfulness and/or sharing of emotions is evidence of our being in our Emoter. No one is put
down. An Emoter neither laughs at another nor at themself in derogatory ways.
The Emoter also experiences negative, healthy feelings. Grief, for example, must be
experienced with losses. Also, non-blaming, non attacking anger is expressed from our
Emoter Part.

WORDS
“Yeah!” “Love it!” “Hate it!” “Gee!” “Wow!” “Thanks!” “That’s cool.”
Spontaneous and energized non attacking expression of emotions. Onomatopoeia!
Playful language.

TONE
According to emotion experienced:
Up, energetic, enthusiastic, playful, wide range, ringing tones.

GESTURES
Animated, lively.

POSTURE
According to emotion experienced:
Lax, open, fluid, flexible, loose, resilient, elastic.

FA C I A L E X P R E S S I O N S
Twinkly, smiles, alive, natural.

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 Personality Types and Strongest Parts

PERSONALITY TYPE STRONGEST PERSONALITY PART

Computer
Used to organize ideas
THINKER and draw logical conclusions.

Computer
Used to support beliefs
PERSISTER and values.

Comforter
Used to offer warmth,
HARMONIZER share feelings.

Computer
Used to do routine tasks and
IMAGINER energize reflections.

Emoter
Used to express spontaneous
REBEL reactions.

Director
Used to stimulate immediate
PROMOTER action.

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Exercise

Personality Parts

Emoter Comforter Computer Director Protector

a b c d e

Match the Personality Part (face) with the appropriate statement or question.

1. “Take this to shipping.“

2. “When will you have time?”

3. “Take a deep breath and look at me.”

4. “Send me the email please.”

5. “You certainly are a thoughtful person, Will.”

6. “Relax.”

7. “Jim, I like the way you handled that!”

8. “Emily, I appreciate your sensitivity with people.”

9. “What do you think we should do?”

10. “I like hard work, fast cars & big paychecks.”

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 Parts to Use with Types

PERSONALITY TYPE
PERSONALITY PART EXAMPLE
ADDRESSED

“What do you think

about the idea?”
THINKER
Computer

“What do you believe

we should do?”
PERSISTER
Computer

“I appreciate your
sensitivity.”
HARMONIZER
Comforter

“Imagine what that

would be like.”
IMAGINER
Director

“Wow, that’s awesome!”

REBEL
Emoter

“Give me your
bottom line.”
PROMOTER
Director

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Exercise

Practicing Personality Parts

The purpose of this exercise is to become aware of our ability to move into our different
Personality Parts when we decide to.

Will you please:

1. Get into groups of four.

2. Choose a Star.

3. The Star begins by holding up page 30 in front of them so that the other group members
see the information about the behavior of the Director.

4. The Star then looks at a group member and says something to that member demons-
trating the Director. Please do not give an order for the group member to do something,
but rather give an imperative to give information.

5. Group members are not to respond, but just observe the exercise.

6. The Star then addresses each group member with a command from their Director.

7. The group then gives feedback as to whether the Star was using the words, tones,
gestures, postures, and facial expressions of the Director.

8. Each member becomes the Star and this procedure is repeated.

9. Then the original Star does the Computer, followed by all members being the Star.

10. The original Star continues by initiating this procedure with the Comforter, and finally
the Emoter.

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 Channels of Communication

A Channel of Communication is a positive interaction between

two individuals. Each Channel consists of two Personality Parts
which, when used together, allow for communication. Channels
are the only means by which clear communication can occur.
In a Channel, the initial Personality Part used constitutes the
offer and the other constitutes the acceptance of the Channel.
Offering a Channel is also referred to as opening the Channel and
accepting the Channel, to as closing the Channel.

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 Channels of Communication

Miscommunication results in a great deal of lost time and energy. Before we focus on the
causes and kinds of miscommunication, let’s look at the ways we communicate.

Have you ever wondered why some discussions seem easy from the get-to, and others turn
quickly into losing battle? The success or failure of connecting can be attributed to whether
or not we are communicating in both a person’s perceptual frame of reference and their
favorite Channel.

Everyone prefers a certain Channel. When this Channel isn’t offered to a person, they might
not communicate. Just as a citizens band radio or a walkie talkie requires both parties to
be on the same frequency in order to be heard clearly, everyday communication requires
individuals to be on the same Channel so that information will be heard clearly. When we
seem to click with people naturally – we’re in their Channel.

Learning to shift into these Channels will require some practice at first. Soon shifting into
a person’s favorite Channel will become easy and natural as you learn to identify the
Personality Type they are showing you.

Some people communicate best when we are direct with them, using few words and telling
them specifically what we want from them.

Some people respond best when we ask them for information, requesting them to think
and respond with facts, like two computers exchanging data.

Others will communicate most effectively if we nurture them first, showing them that we
appreciate and care about them personally.

Still others like us to be spontaneous and humorous in our communication with them,
keeping the conversation light, lively, energetic, and fun.

An important thing to remember about Channels is to pay close attention to the person’s
responses to make sure they are closing the Channel that you opened.

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 Your Channels of Communication Score

In your Profile, four Channels are ranked from strongest and most often used, to least
strong and least often used. Higher scores indicate greater use of those Channels in
communicating with people. There is a fifth Channel that is not ranked in your profile, as it
is used only in special or emergency situations. The five Channels are:

C H A N N E L 1 INTERVENTIVE

CHANNEL 2 DIRECTIVE

CHANNEL 3 REQUESTIVE

CHANNEL 4 N U R T U R AT I V E

CHANNEL 5 EMOTIVE

T H E R U L E O F C O M M U N I C AT I O N
Communication will take place
if
there is an offer and acceptance
in the same Channel

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 Channel 1: INTERVENTIVE

Channel 1 helps interrupt miscommunication. The offer comes from the Protector part with
directives, imperatives, or commands aimed at the senses, touch, smell, taste, hearing,
or sight of another person or of one’s self. The acceptance is from the Sensor of the other
person, or that part of one’s personality that experiences the basic senses.

PROTECTOR SENSOR

“Look at me and take a deep “OK.”

breath.”

“Calm down.”

“Stop.”

The Interventive Channel is useful when people are getting out of control, e.g.: not respon-
ding to any other Channel offer. This is a special Channel to be used only in emergencies
or special circumstances.

It is not related to a specific Base.

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 Channel 2: DIRECTIVE

The Directive Channel offers the Director Part of our Personality and invites acceptance
from the Computer Part in the other.

DIRECTOR COMPUTER

“Give me three reasons “It’s economical, safe, and

why that’s a good idea.” beneficial to all involved.”

“Call Mike and let him know that “OK.”

his order is in.”

“Tell me what position you last “Head of Sales.”

held.”

“Imagine a new scenario.” “OK.”

To be in a Director Part, one gives a command, an imperative, or a directive aimed at

somebody else’s Computer: thinking part.

The Director tells somebody what to do without attacking or belittling them.

The DIRECTIVE CHANNEL is most effective when addressing Promoter or Imaginer Base.

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 Channel 3: REQUESTIVE

The Requestive Channel involves the exchange of information from two thinking parts -
Computer to Computer.

COMPUTER COMPUTER

“Will you make five copies?” “Yes.”

“What was your position “Head of Sales.”

at your last job?”

“What do you think is the most “Communicating with people.”

important aspect of this new
job?”

Channel 3 communication is the clear and crisp exchange of information. No feelings are
involved, questions are answered directly like two computers exchanging information.
Channel 3, a most important channel in business and relationships, allows for each person
to exchange ideas and to give and receive information.

However, not everyone prefers thinking as a major source of attention in communication.

Some people prefer and require other Channels that target feelings to be effective in their
work and personal life.

The REQUESTIVE CHANNEL is most effective when addressing Persister or Thinker Base.

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 Channel 4: NURTURATIVE

This Channel begins with an offer from the Comforter part of us - the warm, nurturing,
caring, sensitive, affective parent. The complementary acceptance is from the Emoter part
- the authentic, natural, feeling, playful part.

COMFORTER EMOTER

“Mary, I really appreciate you, “Thank you. I like being here!”

and I’m glad you’re with us.”

“You are very important to me.” “I’m glad.”

Channel 4 communication is aimed at inviting someone else to feel cared for, rather than
exchanging ideas.

The NURTURATIVE CHANNEL is most effective when addressing Harmonizer Base.

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 Channel 5: EMOTIVE

This Channel is like two individuals being playfully humorous with one another.

EMOTER EMOTER

“Dahling! Chu look mahvelous!” “And I feel mahvelous, dahling!”

“I like working with you.” “I like working with you, too.”

“Yikes, it’s hot!” “Gosh, it sure is!”

Channel 5 communication is an energizing exchange from the playful parts of each person.
This playful, non-teasing exchange helps people stay up and excited and creates a non-
threatening, fun atmosphere. We observe this when someone invites somebody else to
share a playful moment.

The EMOTIVE CHANNEL is most effective when addressing Rebel Base.

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 Your Favorite Channel

Most everyone prefers a certain Channel. When this Channel isn’t offered to a person, they,
outside of their awareness, might not communicate and might get into one of the Degrees
of miscommunication. Just for an experiment, consider which of the following offers you
like best. Notice that the content remains the same, only the process is altered. WHAT is said
remains the same. HOW it is said varies. This emphasis on process over content is essential
for us to understand.

CHANNEL 5 EMOTIVE

EMOTER EMOTER

Reactions

CHANNEL 4 N U R T U R AT I V E

COMFORTER EMOTER

Emotions

CHANNEL 3 REQUESTIVE

COMPUTER COMPUTER

Thoughts/Opinions

CHANNEL 2 DIRECTIVE

DIRECTOR COMPUTER

Actions/Inactions

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Exercise

Dialogues and Channels

Fill in one answer and then share your response with a partner. Continue until you have
completed the exercise.

CHANNEL
INTERACTION
YES WHICH ONE? NO WHY?

“Tell me where the spare parts

are.”
1
“In the back office.”

“I need the three files.”

2
“OK.”

“Don’t you ever do anything

right!”
3
“I guess not.”

“I enjoy working with you.”

4
“Yeah, I like working with you,
too.”

“I appreciate your support.”

5
“Thank you.”

“What time do you want us

to meet with you?”
6
“Four o’clock.”

“Stop socializing all the time

and do your job!”
7
“Yes sir, Your Majesty!”

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Exercise

Dialogues and Channels

Will you please:

1. Get into groups of 5 or 6.

2. Select a Star.

3. The Star closes their eyes while the other group members select a Channel and so
designate by holding up the number of fingers to represent the Channel to be in and
offer to the Star. Avoid choosing Channel 1.

4. The Star opens their eyes and each member offers their Channel to the Star at least
twice. The Star is to respond naturally. Each member is to observe as to whether the Star
“accepted” the offer, resulting in them communicating.

5. After each member has interacted with the Star, the group gives feedback to each other
about what was observed.

6. Another Star is chosen, and this is repeated until everyone has been the Star.

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 Environmental Preference

Environmental Preference refers to the general tendencies and

abilities to be alone, with one other person, on the fringe of a
group, or actively involved in a group.

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 Environmental Preferences

Y O U R E N V I R O N M E N TA L P R E F E R E N C E S S C O R E

In your profile, four Environmental Preferences are categorized:

• ONE TO ONE
• ALONE
• GROUP TO GROUP
• IN A GROUP

These are ranked, from the most preferred, to the least preferred environment. A score of 100
means that you function very effectively within that setting. Scores below 100 indicate the
relative percentage of time in a day you can spend in that environment and be effective,
productive, or comfortable.

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 Assessing Matrix™

The vertical line is the axis of goal involvement or the person’s ability to be self-motivated
to initiate and complete tasks. A person more inclined to be a self-starter fits above the
horizontal line, while a person who prefers to either be motivated by outside stimuli or have
goals set for them fits below the horizontal line.

The horizontal line is the axis of people involvement or the person’s desire to be in a group
or part of a group effort. A person who prefers to be with two or more people fits to the left
of the vertical axis, while a person who prefers to be with one other person or to be alone
fits to the right.

INTERNAL

A person who will fit into The person who fits into
this quadrant (internal- this quadrant (internal-
involving), upon arrival to a withdrawing), at the same
party, moves toward people party talks of factual matters
and enjoys being in groups. or discusses politics with
In a work setting this person one or two people. At the
prefers to work with groups, office this person works
enjoys projects that are well alone or with one
shared with others and that other person and is usually
provide involvement and motivated to complete the
harmony. job successfully. WITHDRAWING
INVOLVING

The person in this quadrant

The person who fits into (external-withdrawing)
this quadrant (external- arrives inauspiciously at
involving), likes to party the party, avoids people,
and prefers to be part of and engages in unnoticed
the action. On the job, this introspection. On the job,
person enjoys being in this worker is the loner who
several groups (teams) and prefers being given an
may work best when offered assignment and left alone to
a creative challenge. do the work.

EXTERNAL

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 Assessing Matrix™
and Environmental Preference

INTERNAL

Harmonizer Thinker

IN A GROUP O N E TO O N E
Goals

Persister

WITHDRAWING
INVOLVING

People

Promoter

GROUP
ALO N E
TO G RO U P

Rebel Imaginer
EXTERNAL

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Exercise

‘‘The Office Party”

Match for best fit.

ACTIVITY

1. Two guests asking each other their opinions about company politics.

2. The person hosting and being attentive to the needs of the guests.

3. A person listening calmly waiting to be invited into conversation.

4. An individual moving from person to person, easily making conversation, taking

the lead in demonstrating new dance steps.

5. A person entering into an intellectual conversation with another guest, then

perusing the host’s library.

6. A guest playing the guitar, having fun and singing with a small group of friends.

PERSONALITY TYPE

a. THINKER TYPE

b. PERSISTER TYPE

c. HARMONIZER TYPE

d. IMAGINER TYPE

e. REBEL TYPE

f. PROMOTER TYPE

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 Psychological Needs

Our Psychological Needs are those powerful desires that motivate

us to want certain things and act in a certain way.

Just as our physiological needs must be met (air, water, food,

shelter, etc.) to survive, our Psychological Needs must be met to
remain balanced and positive individuals. They are the sources of
our motivation.

What a person expects from and offers others depends on their

Psychological Needs.

Employees whose needs are met positively are more effective

and fulfilled in their work.

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 Psychological Needs

Each Personality Type has its own Psychological Need(s).

Before we can deal effectively with others, we must first get our Psychological Needs met.

This insures crisp, effective communication through Channels, avoiding miscommunication,

and unproductive interactions.

If we know our Personality Structure, we know what Psychological Needs we must satisfy.
When our Needs are met, we are more productive and have more joy.

PERSONALITY TYPE PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS

Recognition of Productive Work

THINKER
Time Structure

Recognition of Principled Work

PERSISTER
Recognition of Conviction

Recognition of Person
HARMONIZER
Sensory

IMAGINER Solitude

REBEL Contact

PROMOTER Incidence

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 Psychological Needs

THINKER

Recognition of Productive Work, Time Structure

People with Recognition of Productive Work Need are achievement and goal orientated.
They desire confirmation that what they have done is noticed. They are motivated by
awards, bonuses, a pat on the back – ways of recognizing that they have done a good job.

Time Structure refers to the Need for knowing what is to be done and when. People with
Time Structure Need plans for today, tomorrow, and next week. When left alone to relax in
the sun, a person with Time Structure Need may be thinking: “What am I going to do? What
are my plans?”

PERSISTER

Recognition of Principled Work, Recognition of Conviction

This is a Need for achievements to be recognized in regards to strong commitment and

belief in a mission or goal.

Conviction Need refers to having a commitment to a belief, an opinion, or a judgment that

is respected by others. It is important to people who have Recognition of Conviction Need
that people listen to their beliefs and argumentation.

HARMONIZER

Recognition of Person, Sensory

This is the Need to be appreciated just the way we are, without conditions or strings, or
performance required. Those with Recognition of Person Need are happy to feel that they
are part of the group.

A person with Sensory Need appreciates comfort of sight, smell, touch, taste, or sound. This
Need involves being in a pleasant environment, nice to look at, melodious, comfortable,
and relaxing.

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 Psychological Needs

I MAG I N E R

Solitude

People whose basic Need is Solitude tend to be withdrawn, often moving into self-reflective,
imaginative reveries. These people are often at peace with themselves, enjoy being within
themselves, and often need to be alone.

They do not require groups or excitement and can become distressed by too much sensory
input. They prefer to be left alone to do their work.

REBEL

Contact

People with a Need for Contact look for an environment that is stimulating. Frequent
interaction with others, attention-getting clothes, toys and gimmicks, loud music, online
gaming, bright colors, etc. will help satisfy Contact Need.

They prefer to be around people who are lively and fun.

PROMOTER

Incidence

The Need for incidence manifests in the search for thrills with quick results and rewards.
People with this Need prefer to live intensely in the short term. They like everything that is
exclusive and are risk-takers. They frequently enjoy gambling, competition, and speed.

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Exercise

Psychological Needs and Personality Phase

1. Gloria who is in Harmonizer Phase is sitting at her desk, saying to herself “I appeciate
when my team tells me they like me and they are happy I'm their manager.” This is an
example of her Need.

2. Sandra is in Harmonizer Phase. She has just had lunch with several clients and comes
back to her office. She walks in, looks around, sees the beautiful colors, the cozy rug,
the many plants she has, she smells the scent of the candles burning and hears soft
music playing. "I feel so good here.” This is an example of her Psychological Need for
.

3. Bob is in Thinker Phase. He runs the IT Department for a large insurance company.
When Bob went into the office this morning, one of his colleagues commented on
how his computer works perfectly, without any issues. Bob liked the compliment.
Someone was recognizing his Need for
.

4. Fred is in Persister Phase. He has been diligent in his efforts to submit a manuscript to
his publisher for the last four months. He has dedicated himself to this project, convinced
of the literary value of the book. He is proud that he has completed the last chapter. The
mystery unraveled beautifully and with just enough of a hint to the readers to figure out
whodunit. He walks proudly into his publisher’s office, puts down the manuscript and is
expecting what kind of Psychological Need to be met?
.

5. Debbie is in Persister Phase. She is known for her intense interest in social reform and is
highly involved in helping the less fortunate. She volunteers her time for civic activities
that raise money for these people. She is often outspoken, sharing her beliefs and
opinions with people and encouraging others to take a stand. This person is getting her
Needs met.

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Exercise

Psychological Needs and Personality Phase

6. Bart is in Thinker Phase. He is the owner of the local construction company. When
things go on schedule, all is well. This morning the cement trucks arrived late. The man
with the sand for concrete blocks arrived early and dumped the sand in the way. Three
workers didn’t show up on time, all of which is going to throw him behind schedule
for today’s work. He is feeling extremely frustrated and angry because his Need for
has not been met.

7. Kevin who is in Imaginer Phase is responsible for all the insurance company
regulations. He prefers to sit in a back office, away from the break room
and work steadily at his tasks. Imaginer Phase people have their Need for
met in this manner.

8. Charlotte is a likable, smiling, exuberant person in Rebel Phase. She has a hard time
staying in her office. She frequently comes down the hall, laughing, talking and visiting
with other members of the group. In her office, we often hear loud music playing and
at the same time one can hear her on the telephone. Charlotte is getting her Need for
met.

9. Lance is in Promoter Phase. He dresses in expensive suits, has ample rings and jewelry,
a sport car, and enjoys life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Lance is the best
salesperson in the organization, often leading the charts. Unlike the other top sellers,
when he doesn’t make it, he doesn’t seem to care. He enjoys horse races, his Friday night
poker party with the guys and an occasional hot tip on the stock market. He is getting his
Need met in this way.

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Exercise

Personality Phases and Psychological Needs

PHASE

1. THINKER PHASE

2. PERSISTER PHASE

3. HARMONIZER PHASE

4. IMAGINER PHASE

5. REBEL PHASE

6. PROMOTER PHASE

P SYC H O LO G I CA L N E E D

a. Contact

b. Incidence

c. Recognition of Conviction

d. Recognition of Person

e. Solitude

f. Recognition of Productive Work

g. Time Structure

h. Sensory

i. Recognition of Principled Work

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Exercise

Meeting Psychological Needs

THINKER PHASE

One of your co-workers is in a Thinker Phase. You now know that she requires

and
as two major Psychological Needs. To motivate her and help her meet her Needs, you
comment that she has and you
provide her with .

PERSISTER PHASE

The woman in charge of quality control over your division is in a Persister Phase. It is important
that she has her Needs for
and met. You decide
to share with her that you appreciate and that
regarding all the efforts that she put forth .

HARMONIZER PHASE

If you know your friend is in a Harmonizer Phase, then he requires and

Needs to be met. An example of what to say to him could be:
.

I MAG I N E R PHASE

One of the directors is in an Imaginer Phase and has five people that he supervises. His
part of the plant consistently runs well, although he seems to spend more time planning
and working alone in his office than on the line with his people. In recognition of his
Need for you and support him in his work by
.

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Exercise

Meeting Psychological Needs

REBEL PHASE

You have a problem. Your very creative landscape designer is in a Rebel Phase. He
interacts frequently with three long-time dependable Thinker Base colleagues and
they are angry at his constant interruptions. You do not want to fire him because sales
have increased primarily due to his creative talent and it’s not feasible to move him.
You do not have time to give him extra playful attention. You cleverly offer that he can
.
You have just met this Rebel energy for .

PROMOTER PHASE

Through the years, the company has given recognition awards to employees for their
accomplishments. These incentives and reinforcements don’t seem that effective with the
sales team. Last year when the salesperson of the month was to be given an all-expenses paid
trip to Las Vegas, Mia quickly doubled her gross sales. This confirmed that she was motivated
more by Need.
What else can you do to keep that motivation strong?
.

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 Personality Phase and Phasing

Phase Change
The movement from the existing Phase to the floor above it. This
then becomes the current Phase. With this we experience a change
of Psychological Needs, motivation and Distress Sequence. It is
triggered by resolving the previous floor’s Phase Issue.

Phasing
Period of time resulting from having been presented with one’s
current Phase Issue without experiencing the underlying, authentic
emotion to resolve it. Phasing is observable by frequent and intense
second Degree Distress behavior. When the authentic emotion is
eventually experienced, Phase change takes place.

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 Personality Phase and Phasing

PHASE

• Your current Phase identifies what Psychological Need(s) are most important for you to
meet positively in order to be motivated personally and professionally.

• Getting these Phase Psychological Needs met positively gives us the energy and ability
to use our elevator to meet others where they're at.

• When we don't meet positively these Phase Psychological Needs, we attempt to meet
in a negative way without a conscious awareness of this ongoing Phase-connected,
distressed behavior. This negative behavior is observable, sequential and predictable.
It's referred to as a Distress Sequence.

PHASE CHANGE

• Initially, our Base is also our Phase. Our Base always remains strongest with Perception,
Part, Channel, Character Strengths, and Interaction Style. When the Base is the Phase,
the Psychological Need and distressed behavior is also that of the Personality Type of the
Base.

• About two out of three people experience what is called a Phase change once or more
during their lifetime. This Phase shift explains why these people are the same person, still
strongest with Perception, Part, Channel, Character Strengths, and Interaction Style, yet
have new Psychological Needs with a new associated Distress Sequence.

• A Phase change occurs most often when an individual is presented in life with a situation
that triggers an unresolved issue, resulting in frequent, intense distress. This distressed
period is referred to as Phasing. After working through this and experiencing the often
painful, but healthy authentic emotion (e.g., grief, in the case of Thinker Phase), a person
will have a new Phase – that of the next floor of their condominium. The Personality Type
of that next floor, whatever that might be, becomes that person’s Phase.

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 Personality Phase and Phasing

• A Phase can last a few years, or a lifetime. Phasing results in distressed behavior that can
often be very disruptive of personal and professional lives.

• An advantage of not having experienced a Phase change is to not having experienced

the disruptive negative behavior and its consequences in our personal and professional
lives. On the other hand, if we go through a Phase change, we will be more sensitive
to and intuitive about the specific Psychological Needs and Distress Sequence of that
Phase. PCM is not a growth model as changing Phase is not a goal in and of itself. The
goal is to learn how to satisfy our current Phase's Psychological Needs in a positive way,
to avoid the corresponding Distress Sequence.

• An experienced Phase, other than the Base, is called a Stage.

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 Miscommunication & Distress

We say that there is Miscommunication from the moment a

Communication Channel is not established. This is likely to result
in a shift from our existential position of win/win to a behavioral
position where we create fruitless conflict.
PCM describes Miscommunication in three Degrees of intensity.
This occurs a lot more frequently than most people realize.
It starts with misunderstandings and can escalate into
disagreements and conflicts.

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 Miscommunication & Distress

For each Personality Phase there is a unique, consistent, and predictable Distress
Sequence that occurs when too much negative stress is experienced.

When our Perceptions are compatible with others, there is an easy match and stress is
minimized. However, some people have a Personality Structure that may be very different
from ours. In these cases, there is no easy match and stress increases as we interact with
each other. Unless take our elevator to match the other person’s Channel, Perception or
both, we may experience sufficient stress in the situation so that one or both of us moves
into a Distress Sequence and a pattern of Miscommunication and mismanagement. The
further someone moves into distress, the more Miscommunication and mismanagement
occur.

There are three Degrees of Miscommunication in each Distress Sequence. They are
always sequential.

• First Degree Miscommunication, the Doorway of Distress, lasts only a few seconds,
occurs many times a day, and serves as a caution sign that stress is increasing and
Miscommunication is beginning.
• Second Degree Miscommunication occurs when First Degree warning signals have not
found an adequate response with the person’s Channel, Perception, or both.* This can
result in the person experiencing the “Basement” of Distress where someone shows
behavior of either “I’m OK – You’re not OK” or “I’m not OK – You’re OK”.
• At Third Degree Miscommunication, the Cellar of Distress, there is virtually no useful
information being exchanged.

Our current Phase determines our Distress Sequence under normal circumstances. The
further up in our Personality Structure that a Personality Type is located, the less we have
practiced being there and the more difficult it will be to connect with the people of that
Base Type. We might even experience Distress simply having to manage or work with
people with this Base Personality Types. However, the more we exercise taking our elevator,
the easier it will be to connect with each type and the less likely it will be that we will move
into a Distress Sequence.

* We cannot make someone come out of First Degree Distress or into Distress, we can only invite them to do so. by taking
our elevator is an effective technique to encourage communication rather than Miscommunication and push them to avoid
Distress Sequences.

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 3 Degrees of Distress

Doorway of Distress : First Degree

Experiences: Experiences:
• You're OK if you are perfect • I’m OK if I am perfect
• You're OK if you are strong • I’m OK if I am strong
• I’m OK if I try hard
• I’m OK if I please

Basement Second : Degree

Experiences:
• I’m OK – You’re not OK by behaving either negatively
critical, or vengeful.
• I’m not OK – You’re OK by behaving like a victim.

Cellar : Third Degree

Experiences:
• I’m not OK – You’re not OK.
• A give up payoff of either being gotten
rid of by others or of wanting to have
gotten rid of others.

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 Doorway of Distress

FIRST DEGREE

LONGER TERM
SECOND-BY-SECOND
DRIVER MISMANAGEMENT
BEHAVIOR
BEHAVIOR

Uses big words, over explains,

over qualifies, makes Stops delegating
THINKER
complicated statements
Be Perfect

Uses big words, expects others

Focuses on what is wrong,
to be perfect, asks complicated
PERSISTER not what is right
questions
Be Perfect for Me

Over adapts to others, Becomes too wishy-

HARMONIZER doesn’t ask directly for things washy in decision making
Please You

Shows that things or people

Withdraws
IMAGINER are in charge of their thoughts
and spins wheels
Be Strong or emotions

Does not answer questions

Delegates inappropriately
REBEL directly, “Uh, huh?”, invites
and without direction
Try Hard others to do or to think for them

Says you when meaning I,

invites others to believe they are Expects others to fend for
PROMOTER not in charge of their emotions themselves
Be Strong for Me or thoughts

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 Basement of Distress

SECOND DEGREE

MASK PERSONALITY TYPE FAILURE MECHANISM

THINKER Over controls

PERSISTER Pushes beliefs

Attacker

HARMONIZER Makes mistakes

IMAGINER Passively waits

Drooper

REBEL Blames

PROMOTER Manipulates
Blamer

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 The Attacker

POSITION
“I’m OK – You’re not OK.”

PRI MARY COVE R-U P FE E LI NGS

Frustrated Anger (Thinker Phase)
Righteous Anger (Persister Phase)

OTH E R COVE R-U P FE E LI NGS

Arrogant
Rageful
Triumphant

WORK EXAMPLES
“You’re as stupid as they come!”
“You can’t do anything right!”
“Don’t you care about our customer!”
“You should be more committed!”

A THINKER PHASE individual who doesn’t meet their Recognition of Productive Work or Time
Structure Needs positively wears an Attacker Mask and reinforces the Failure Mechanism
of Over controls.

A PERSISTER PHASE individual who doesn’t meet their Recognition of Conviction or

Recognition of Principled Work Needs positively also wears an Attacker Mask, but reinforces
the Failure Mechanism of Pushes beliefs.

* For all Personality Types, others can help us get our Needs met, but we are the ones who have the final say as
to whether we have our Needs met.

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 The Drooper

POSITION
“I’m not OK – You’re OK”

PRI MARY COVE R-U P FE E LI NGS

Sadness (Harmonizer Phase)
Insignificance (Imaginer Phase)

OTH E R COVE R-U P FE E LI NGS

Worry
Guilt
Confusion
Fear

WORK EXAMPLES
“I’m so stupid!’
“I can’t do anything right.”
“It’s too much... It’s shutting me down.”

A HARMONIZER PHASE individual who doesn't meet their Recognition of Person or Sensory
Needs positively wears a Drooper Mask and reinforces the Failure Mechanism of Makes
mistakes.

An IMAGINER PHASE individual who doesn’t meet their Solitude Need positively also wears
a Drooper Mask, but reinforces the Failure Mechanism of Passively waits.

* For all Personality Types, others can help us get our Needs met, but we are the ones who have the final say as
to whether we have our Needs met.

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 The Blamer

POSITION
“I’m OK – You’re not OK”

PRI MARY COVE R-U P FE E LI NGS

Vengeful (Rebel Phase)
Vindictive (Promoter Phase)

OTH E R COVE R-U P FE E LI NGS

Blameful
Blameless
Bored
Jealous

WORK EXAMPLES
“See what you made me do!”
“Yes, but...”
“I’ll get you!”

A REBEL PHASE individual who doesn’t meet their Contact Need positively wears a Blamer
Mask and reinforces the Failure Mechanism of Blames.

A PROMOTER PHASE individual who doesn’t meet their Incidence Need positively also wears
a Blamer Mask, but reinforces the Failure Mechanism of Manipulates.

* For all Personality Types, others can help us get our Needs met, but we are the ones who have the final say as
to whether we have our Needs met.

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 Distress

We all experience stress in our lives.

• When we have our Psychological Needs met positively, we are able to stay in our
Condominium and turn the stresses of life into eustress by dealing with them in a
healthy way. Eustress means positive stress (Eu is a Greek prefix denoting good or
positive).
• This also allows us the energy to move to higher, less activated floors in our
Condominium when situations require it.
• The major cause of Distress is not getting enough Psychological Needs met positively-
first at Phase, then Base, if different, then Stage, if there is one or more and then the
other Floors.

BASE DISTRESS

Base

For those of us who have not experienced a Phase change, our Distress
Sequence is always that of our Base.

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 Distress

PHASE DISTRESS

Phase

For those of us who have experienced a Phase change, we almost always

experience the Distress Sequence of our Phase but on rare occasions, we
might experience the Distress Sequence of our Base or Stage Personality.

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 Thinker Phase Distress Sequence

Recognition of Productive Work & Time Structure

Doorway of Distress : First Degree

• Over-thinks for others.

• Does not delegate well.
• Makes complicated statements. “I have to be perfect to be OK.”

Basement : Second Degree

Over-controls
• Critical of others about fairness, money,
order, or responsibility. “I’m OK – You’re not OK.”
• Frustrated with others around thinking
issues.
• Verbally attacks from a “you” position.

Cellar : Third Degree

Experiences:
• Depressed and worthless. "They can't even think."

"I'm not OK - You're not OK."

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 Persister Phase Distress Sequence

Recognition of Principled Work & Conviction

Doorway of Distress : First Degree

• Focuses on what is wrong instead of what is

right.
• Asks complicated questions. “You have to be perfect to be OK.”
• Uses complex words.

Basement : Second Degree

Pushes beliefs
• Preaches at, negatively crusades.
• Opinionated, righteous. “I’m OK – You’re not OK.”
• Verbally attacks others who don’t believe
the same.

Cellar : Third Degree

Experiences:
• Depressed and hopeless. "They don't have any commitment."

"I'm not OK - You're not OK."

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 Harmonizer Phase Distress Sequence

Recognition of Person & Sensory

Doorway of Distress : First Degree

• Over-adapts to others.
• Too wishy-washy in making decisions.
“I have to please to be OK.”

Basement : Second Degree

Makes mistakes
• Lacks assertiveness.
• Shows and experiences self-doubt. “I’m not OK – You are OK.”
• Invites criticism.

Cellar : Third Degree

Experiences:
• Depressed and unloved. "I don't feel wanted."

"I'm not OK - You're not OK."

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 Imaginer Phase Distress Sequence

Solitude

Doorway of Distress : First Degree

• Spreads self too thin.

• Avoids taking initiative.
• Shows others have control of their emotions “I have to be strong to be OK.”
or thoughts

Basement : Second Degree

Passively Waits
• Sustained withdrawal.
• Projects not finished. “I’m not OK – You are OK.”

Cellar : Third Degree

Experiences:
• Depressed and listless. "I wasn't given enough direction."

"I'm not OK - You're not OK."

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 Rebel Phase Distress Sequence

Contact

Doorway of Distress : First Degree

• Attempts to understand, but can’t.

• Delegates inappropriately and without
direction. “I have to try hard to be OK.”

Basement : Second Degree

Blames
• Negative and complaining.
• “Yes, but...” “I’m OK – You’re not OK ”
• Blames things, situations and others.

Cellar : Third Degree

Experiences:
• Depressed and helpless. « I'll show them. »

"I'm not OK - You're not OK."

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 Promoter Phase Distress Sequence

Incidence

Doorway of Distress : First Degree

• Expects others to fend for themselves.

• Does not support people adequately.
• Invites others to believe they are not in “You have to be strong to be OK.”
charge of their emotions or thoughts.

Basement : Second Degree

Manipulates
• Sets up arguments.
• Creates negative drama. “I’m OK – You’re not OK.”

Cellar : Third Degree

Experiences:
• Depressed and abandoned. "Can't take it, huh."

"I'm not OK - You're not OK."

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Exercise

Failure Mechanisms and Interaction Strategies

for Base/Phase Personality Types

1. John is Harmonizer Base and Phase. He tries to please but makes silly typos. He smiles
even when he’s angry or upset and laughs inappropriately at himself. John’s behavior
could let us know that what he wants is
.

As his manager, what would you do:

Daily

Weekly

2. Mary is Thinker Base and Phase. She tries to be perfect. She is critical of others, thinking how
stupid they are. She is preoccupied with money, the order of things, and cleanliness. Co-
workers describe her as controlling. Mary discounts people out of anger and loses some
good employees, who just don’t think the way she thinks. She is on the verge of burn-out
from taking on too much and not delegating. Her behavior could alert us to the fact that
shedoes not meet her Needs of
.

As her manager, what would you do:

Daily

Weekly

3. Jane is Persister Base and Phase. She seems to be expecting others to be as perfect
as she is. She is critical, distrustful, suspicious, overly sensitive to negative feedback, and
thinks “my opinion is the only right one.” Jane is forcefully pushes her new company’s
marketing strategy. Her peers feel angry and frustrated. Jane’s behavior could let us
know that she needs

As her manager, what would you do:

Daily

Weekly

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Exercise

Failure Mechanisms and Interaction Strategies

for Base/Phase Personality Types

4. Joe is Imaginer Base and Phase. He walks around with an expressionless stone face,
avoiding people. He has sustained withdrawal and starts projects but doesn’t finish them.
People have to seek him out to get something done. This behavior could let us know that
he needs .

As his manager, what would you do:

Daily

Weekly

5. Mike is Rebel Base and Phase. He has become negative and complaining. He
frequently responds to suggestions with “Yes, but...” Mike blames machines for not
working, the company for not “doing him right” and other colleagues for expecting
so much of him and being on his case. He does not do his share and often puts
things and people off. Mike’s behavior could alert us to the fact that he needs
.

As his manager, what would you do:

Daily

Weekly

6. Jean is Promoter Base and Phase. She expects others to fend for themselves. She
gossips about people and tells lies that result in people fighting with each other. She
believes that rules are meant for someone else but her. Jean convinces other employees
on occasions to do her share of the work. Jean’s behavior could alert us that she needs
.

As her manager, what would you do:

Daily

Weekly

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 Connecting

INTERACTION STRATEGIES

PERSONALITY CHANNEL
PART TO USE PERCEPTION
FLOOR TO OFFER

Requestive (3) Thoughts

THINKER
Computer

Requestive (3) Opinions

PERSISTER
Computer

Nurturative (4) Emotions

HARMONIZER
Comforter

Inactions
Directive (2)
(reflections)
IMAGINER
Director

Reactions
Emotive (5)
(likes/dislikes)
REBEL Emoter

Directive (2) Actions

PROMOTER
Director

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 Channels and Perceptions

CHANNEL 5 EMOTIVE

REBEL FLOOR

EMOTER EMOTER

Reactions

CHANNEL 4 N U R T U R AT I V E

HARMONIZER FLOOR

COMFORTER EMOTER

Emotions

CHANNEL 3 REQUESTIVE

THINKER FLOOR

PERSISTER FLOOR

COMPUTER COMPUTER

Thoughts/Opinions

CHANNEL 2 DIRECTIVE

PROMOTER FLOOR

IMAGINER FLOOR

DIRECTOR COMPUTER

Actions/Inactions

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Exercise

The Channel and Perception Tag Exercise

The purpose of this exercise is to combine Channel and Perception into a bullseye
targeting of connecting with different Personality Types.

Will you please:

1. Get into groups of five or six.

2. Choose a Star.

3. The Star looks at another group member and gives a Channel offer, combined with the
appropriate Perception. Avoid Channel 1.

4. The person whom the Star addressed responds in Channel and Perception.

5. The group gives feedback as to whether the two were in Channel and in Perception with
one another.

6. The person who responded becomes the new Star and tags another person with
another Channel and Perception offer.

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Exercise

Manager’s Action Plan

The purpose of this exercise is to demonstrate how to connect at Base, motivate at Phase,
and give a daily and weekly action plan for varieties of Base and Phase employees.

Will you please:

1. Get into groups of three and await further instructions.

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Exercise

Manager’s Action Plan

Colleague’s name:

Base:

Perception:

Channel:

Character Strengths:

Examples of Connecting:

1.

2.

3.

Phase:

Psychological Need(s):

Examples of motivating:

Daily

1.

2.

3.

Weekly

1.

2.

3.

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Exercise

Closing Exercise

Prepare a positive feedback for each seminar participant.

Name:

Phase:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

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Notes
Notes
Notes
Notes
Notes
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